Author Topic: Roommate Rant  (Read 74988 times)

andy85

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #50 on: May 19, 2016, 12:50:53 PM »
best thread on this forum
takes me back to my Misc. days...I'm almost convinced grimsqueaker frequents the Misc.

PencilThinStash

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #51 on: May 19, 2016, 01:10:55 PM »
PencilThinStache: Excellent. You've just proven that you can assert your alpha status and be forgiven. Continue to do this at all times and you will enjoy a good and happy life without having to actually kill the people who piss you off.

If your goal is to maintain your happy household, your next step is not actually going to be a renewal of your struggle against moocherdom. You're going to take advantage of the fact that you are now alpha. This means you do what the ancient kings did, and reward your loyal retainer for his gesture of submission. But you do not do it in a way that suggests that mooching will be rewarded. This guy wants to get somewhat wasted at your expense. Now that you know what he wants, you can control him.

Go to the liquor store when you're damn well good and ready-- not necessarily today. Purchase some of the libation that YOU like to consume, in a quantity that makes sense. This will be a different kind of optimization exercise than your usual Mustachian instincts would suggest. You're not trying to try to save money by buying in bulk. Today, you will optimize on the scale that produces a happy life for you in the long run. So, come home with a mickey, preferably something you like.

With this mickey, you begin by pouring yourself a generous drink, the better to toast your success. You may treat your newly compliant beta roommate to a shot or even a double, which you will pour for him. But maintain control of the booze, and consume every drop yourself. Do this in front of him until the entire thing is finished. In this way, you share a small portion of your bounty, and you acknowledge the continuation of a social bond between the two of you. But you do it in a way that allows you to maintain control, and like the lion who feasts first upon the freshly killed wildebeest, you share only what you wish to share.

Under no circumstances do you perform any of this suggested "splitting" activity. That implies some kind of equal division, and the alpha does not share equally. Not if he wants to stay alpha. Nor do you allow him to touch the bottle. It's your bottle and you're making it clear that you're going to finish the whole thing and satisfy your needs without taking responsibility for satisfying his. (Which is why you're not going to come home with a magnum, unless you're feeling really ambitious: THERE MUST BE NO LEFTOVERS.) The entire point is that you're going to treat yourself.

jesus!


and then you shall pee in a circle around the empty bottle, and drag your ass across the carpet!

GrimSqueaker, your comments on this thread are some of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

I'd offer to buy you a beer if we're ever in the same town, but I'm mildly terrified that vivophoenix is on to something here. You're not going to interpret that as some form of "beta submission" and pee on my carpet, are you?

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #52 on: May 19, 2016, 01:40:36 PM »
PencilThinStache: Excellent. You've just proven that you can assert your alpha status and be forgiven. Continue to do this at all times and you will enjoy a good and happy life without having to actually kill the people who piss you off.

If your goal is to maintain your happy household, your next step is not actually going to be a renewal of your struggle against moocherdom. You're going to take advantage of the fact that you are now alpha. This means you do what the ancient kings did, and reward your loyal retainer for his gesture of submission. But you do not do it in a way that suggests that mooching will be rewarded. This guy wants to get somewhat wasted at your expense. Now that you know what he wants, you can control him.

Go to the liquor store when you're damn well good and ready-- not necessarily today. Purchase some of the libation that YOU like to consume, in a quantity that makes sense. This will be a different kind of optimization exercise than your usual Mustachian instincts would suggest. You're not trying to try to save money by buying in bulk. Today, you will optimize on the scale that produces a happy life for you in the long run. So, come home with a mickey, preferably something you like.

With this mickey, you begin by pouring yourself a generous drink, the better to toast your success. You may treat your newly compliant beta roommate to a shot or even a double, which you will pour for him. But maintain control of the booze, and consume every drop yourself. Do this in front of him until the entire thing is finished. In this way, you share a small portion of your bounty, and you acknowledge the continuation of a social bond between the two of you. But you do it in a way that allows you to maintain control, and like the lion who feasts first upon the freshly killed wildebeest, you share only what you wish to share.

Under no circumstances do you perform any of this suggested "splitting" activity. That implies some kind of equal division, and the alpha does not share equally. Not if he wants to stay alpha. Nor do you allow him to touch the bottle. It's your bottle and you're making it clear that you're going to finish the whole thing and satisfy your needs without taking responsibility for satisfying his. (Which is why you're not going to come home with a magnum, unless you're feeling really ambitious: THERE MUST BE NO LEFTOVERS.) The entire point is that you're going to treat yourself.

You've dealt with that type of asshole before, haven't you. Because this is PERFECTION.

Of course. These are basics of tenant management and to a lesser extent household staff management. It's how you stay in control of your social subordinates while outnumbered and physically out-powered. You have to make a bunch of subtle (and not-so-subtle) power gestures in a way that they understand. It requires a different kind of social interaction than you would use with your peers, so a lot of people aren't comfortable doing it until they realize that the subordinates *need* this kind of gesture from them in order to be comfortable in their roles.

A moocher is a type of social subordinate. They have to be treated as such. They truly have no idea how to be social equals with someone because it's outside their comprehension. All they understand is "above" or "below", and if you let them be above you even as a social fiction (being "gentlemanly" or "generous" or whatever), you get stepped on. You need to put them below you, and keep them there. It's not just for your own social well-being. That's their comfort zone too. When they get outside their comfort zone, they start pushing boundaries because they truly don't know how to behave and are terrified someone will notice, so they push to find where the limits are. It doesn't mean you need to abuse them or make them feel bad. That's a common misconception.

That's why it would be a bad idea to continue to engage Jack as an equal by fighting him on the booze issue. PencilThinStache has just established himself as alpha. Given that he doesn't want to get rid of Jack completely and wishes to continue to enjoy the positive aspects of his company, PTS is better advised to use the booze as a tool to consolidate his alpha position and keep Jack in his place. This will allow PTS to move into the role of benevolent dictator and give on his terms while keeping the mooching to an absolute minimum. There will always be a small amount trickle of that, because as PTS noted, the Dude abides and Jack mooches.

Sharing an alcoholic beverage is not appropriate to all situations where you have a social subordinate, but this Jack fellow is a roommate and he's expressed it as something he wants to "split". So showing him how it's going to really work is acceptable provided it's done in a way that reinforces the alpha/beta structure.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #53 on: May 19, 2016, 01:49:00 PM »
PencilThinStache: Excellent. You've just proven that you can assert your alpha status and be forgiven. Continue to do this at all times and you will enjoy a good and happy life without having to actually kill the people who piss you off.

If your goal is to maintain your happy household, your next step is not actually going to be a renewal of your struggle against moocherdom. You're going to take advantage of the fact that you are now alpha. This means you do what the ancient kings did, and reward your loyal retainer for his gesture of submission. But you do not do it in a way that suggests that mooching will be rewarded. This guy wants to get somewhat wasted at your expense. Now that you know what he wants, you can control him.

Go to the liquor store when you're damn well good and ready-- not necessarily today. Purchase some of the libation that YOU like to consume, in a quantity that makes sense. This will be a different kind of optimization exercise than your usual Mustachian instincts would suggest. You're not trying to try to save money by buying in bulk. Today, you will optimize on the scale that produces a happy life for you in the long run. So, come home with a mickey, preferably something you like.

With this mickey, you begin by pouring yourself a generous drink, the better to toast your success. You may treat your newly compliant beta roommate to a shot or even a double, which you will pour for him. But maintain control of the booze, and consume every drop yourself. Do this in front of him until the entire thing is finished. In this way, you share a small portion of your bounty, and you acknowledge the continuation of a social bond between the two of you. But you do it in a way that allows you to maintain control, and like the lion who feasts first upon the freshly killed wildebeest, you share only what you wish to share.

Under no circumstances do you perform any of this suggested "splitting" activity. That implies some kind of equal division, and the alpha does not share equally. Not if he wants to stay alpha. Nor do you allow him to touch the bottle. It's your bottle and you're making it clear that you're going to finish the whole thing and satisfy your needs without taking responsibility for satisfying his. (Which is why you're not going to come home with a magnum, unless you're feeling really ambitious: THERE MUST BE NO LEFTOVERS.) The entire point is that you're going to treat yourself.

jesus!


and then you shall pee in a circle around the empty bottle, and drag your ass across the carpet!

GrimSqueaker, your comments on this thread are some of the funniest things I've read in a long time.

I'd offer to buy you a beer if we're ever in the same town, but I'm mildly terrified that vivophoenix is on to something here. You're not going to interpret that as some form of "beta submission" and pee on my carpet, are you?

Certainly not. Rubber ducks urinate only when squeezed inappropriately, and my gratuitous use of the scythe rather deters that.

Mr. Green

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #54 on: May 19, 2016, 02:59:51 PM »
PencilThinStache: Excellent. You've just proven that you can assert your alpha status and be forgiven. Continue to do this at all times and you will enjoy a good and happy life without having to actually kill the people who piss you off.

If your goal is to maintain your happy household, your next step is not actually going to be a renewal of your struggle against moocherdom. You're going to take advantage of the fact that you are now alpha. This means you do what the ancient kings did, and reward your loyal retainer for his gesture of submission. But you do not do it in a way that suggests that mooching will be rewarded. This guy wants to get somewhat wasted at your expense. Now that you know what he wants, you can control him.

Go to the liquor store when you're damn well good and ready-- not necessarily today. Purchase some of the libation that YOU like to consume, in a quantity that makes sense. This will be a different kind of optimization exercise than your usual Mustachian instincts would suggest. You're not trying to try to save money by buying in bulk. Today, you will optimize on the scale that produces a happy life for you in the long run. So, come home with a mickey, preferably something you like.

With this mickey, you begin by pouring yourself a generous drink, the better to toast your success. You may treat your newly compliant beta roommate to a shot or even a double, which you will pour for him. But maintain control of the booze, and consume every drop yourself. Do this in front of him until the entire thing is finished. In this way, you share a small portion of your bounty, and you acknowledge the continuation of a social bond between the two of you. But you do it in a way that allows you to maintain control, and like the lion who feasts first upon the freshly killed wildebeest, you share only what you wish to share.

Under no circumstances do you perform any of this suggested "splitting" activity. That implies some kind of equal division, and the alpha does not share equally. Not if he wants to stay alpha. Nor do you allow him to touch the bottle. It's your bottle and you're making it clear that you're going to finish the whole thing and satisfy your needs without taking responsibility for satisfying his. (Which is why you're not going to come home with a magnum, unless you're feeling really ambitious: THERE MUST BE NO LEFTOVERS.) The entire point is that you're going to treat yourself.
This is hilarious. I feel like I just watched a PBS documentary. I suggest rereading this in the voice of The Crocodile Hunter for added awesomeness.

Pylortes

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #55 on: May 20, 2016, 07:38:59 PM »
Between PencilStache and Grim Squeeker this is the most entertaining thread I've read on here in a long time... Seriously this shit is hilarious please keep us updated.  I think you could turn this whole episode into a sitcom/movie hah ha!

Rustycage

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #56 on: May 20, 2016, 10:01:44 PM »
best thread on this forum
takes me back to my Misc. days...I'm almost convinced grimsqueaker frequents the Misc.

Former Misc member represent!

I think this forum is far healthier than the Misc :)

Stay strong OP!

The Happy Philosopher

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #57 on: May 21, 2016, 10:06:54 AM »
This thread is brilliant...

Grim, you should write a blog or so something.

andy85

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #58 on: May 23, 2016, 10:52:46 AM »
best thread on this forum
takes me back to my Misc. days...I'm almost convinced grimsqueaker frequents the Misc.

Former Misc member represent!

I think this forum is far healthier than the Misc :)

Stay strong OP!
would rep/10

irishbear99

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #59 on: May 23, 2016, 04:44:15 PM »
PencilThinStache: Excellent. You've just proven that you can assert your alpha status and be forgiven. Continue to do this at all times and you will enjoy a good and happy life without having to actually kill the people who piss you off.

If your goal is to maintain your happy household, your next step is not actually going to be a renewal of your struggle against moocherdom. You're going to take advantage of the fact that you are now alpha. This means you do what the ancient kings did, and reward your loyal retainer for his gesture of submission. But you do not do it in a way that suggests that mooching will be rewarded. This guy wants to get somewhat wasted at your expense. Now that you know what he wants, you can control him.

Go to the liquor store when you're damn well good and ready-- not necessarily today. Purchase some of the libation that YOU like to consume, in a quantity that makes sense. This will be a different kind of optimization exercise than your usual Mustachian instincts would suggest. You're not trying to try to save money by buying in bulk. Today, you will optimize on the scale that produces a happy life for you in the long run. So, come home with a mickey, preferably something you like.

With this mickey, you begin by pouring yourself a generous drink, the better to toast your success. You may treat your newly compliant beta roommate to a shot or even a double, which you will pour for him. But maintain control of the booze, and consume every drop yourself. Do this in front of him until the entire thing is finished. In this way, you share a small portion of your bounty, and you acknowledge the continuation of a social bond between the two of you. But you do it in a way that allows you to maintain control, and like the lion who feasts first upon the freshly killed wildebeest, you share only what you wish to share.

Under no circumstances do you perform any of this suggested "splitting" activity. That implies some kind of equal division, and the alpha does not share equally. Not if he wants to stay alpha. Nor do you allow him to touch the bottle. It's your bottle and you're making it clear that you're going to finish the whole thing and satisfy your needs without taking responsibility for satisfying his. (Which is why you're not going to come home with a magnum, unless you're feeling really ambitious: THERE MUST BE NO LEFTOVERS.) The entire point is that you're going to treat yourself.
This is hilarious. I feel like I just watched a PBS documentary. I suggest rereading this in the voice of The Crocodile Hunter for added awesomeness.

OMG, I didn't think anyone could pull the thread win away from TGS, but I think you just managed to do it. I'm crying because I'm laughing so hard.

Apples

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #60 on: May 26, 2016, 12:57:52 PM »
So it has been a whole week...any updates to share?  I love this thread, having lived with several roommates who were each annoying in their own way.  Two of them had tendencies similar to your friend's, though not as pronounced.

MgoSam

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #61 on: May 26, 2016, 03:30:46 PM »
Hey if mooching off you doesn't work, maybe your roommate can run for office? He seems perfect for it.

PencilThinStash

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #62 on: May 26, 2016, 04:05:29 PM »
So it has been a whole week...any updates to share?

A few little passive aggressive moments, but nothing particularly exciting yet.

The only big difference I've noticed is that he's spending a lot more evenings either at his parents' or other people's houses. He used to only do it once or twice a week, and always invited me along. You can tell that before, he viewed us as some sort of team/unit/?couple? type thing, so if he had a chance to mooch, he extended others' generosity to me. Now that I've set boundaries, he's stopped doing that.

As a natural introvert, I was getting a little worn out with how much time we spent around each other, so it's actually kind of nice to have the apartment to myself a few evenings a week and recharge my batteries.

I did have to laugh at one thing: He brought home some leftovers from his parents' the other day, and last night he threw some in the microwave while I was sitting down to eat my own dinner that I'd just cooked up. He walks into the living room, shows me his plate, and says:

Jack: Wow, doesn't this look amazing?
PencilThinStash: Yep, looks delicious.
Jack: And I didn't have to spend any prep time on it!

Hahaha cool, Jack. Good for you.

Dezrah

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #63 on: May 26, 2016, 05:06:30 PM »
Excellent thread.

I've come to the realization that Jack is basically like an old fashioned vampire.  He'll charm you and suck you dry but you have to be the one to invite him in(to your mind).  If you ask him to leave, he has no choice and can't come back in unless you let him.  He may seem monstrous, but in truth, you're the one with all the power and he's the one with the pitiable limitations.

All these little passive-aggressive acts, not inviting you to his parents', eating his delicious meals in front of you, that's him tapping on the windows asking for another way in.

DON'T LET THE VAMPIRE IN!

The person I'm really concerned for is the capable but insecure woman he charms into marrying him.  Oh they'll have good times and plenty of genuine love, but she'll basically be resigning herself as his mommy for the entirety of their marriage.

MrsDinero

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #64 on: May 26, 2016, 06:19:20 PM »

Jack: And I didn't have to spend any prep time on it!


Not entirely true, he had to go to his parents, eat dinner there, carry the leftovers all the way back to his place, then heat them in the microwave.  Sounds like a lot of prep time to me.

Apples

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #65 on: May 27, 2016, 08:22:04 AM »

Jack: And I didn't have to spend any prep time on it!


Not entirely true, he had to go to his parents, eat dinner there, carry the leftovers all the way back to his place, then heat them in the microwave.  Sounds like a lot of prep time to me.

Or, from the other direction, it's exactly like meals 2-5 when you make a big batch meal for 6 meals.  Only meal 1 takes prep; all the others are microwaved.  Doubt that Jack will ever put this together though.

JAYSLOL

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #66 on: June 09, 2016, 10:35:57 PM »
Any updates on this one?  We must not let this thread die!

Basenji

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #67 on: June 10, 2016, 06:51:01 AM »
You're going to take advantage of the fact that you are now alpha. This means you do what the ancient kings did, and reward your loyal retainer for his gesture of submission.

I feel a wave of love and mirth at this moment. Lol

OP good luck. Hang in there, and feed us more stories...

JLee

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #68 on: June 10, 2016, 08:50:57 AM »
PencilThinStache: Excellent. You've just proven that you can assert your alpha status and be forgiven. Continue to do this at all times and you will enjoy a good and happy life without having to actually kill the people who piss you off.

If your goal is to maintain your happy household, your next step is not actually going to be a renewal of your struggle against moocherdom. You're going to take advantage of the fact that you are now alpha. This means you do what the ancient kings did, and reward your loyal retainer for his gesture of submission. But you do not do it in a way that suggests that mooching will be rewarded. This guy wants to get somewhat wasted at your expense. Now that you know what he wants, you can control him.

Go to the liquor store when you're damn well good and ready-- not necessarily today. Purchase some of the libation that YOU like to consume, in a quantity that makes sense. This will be a different kind of optimization exercise than your usual Mustachian instincts would suggest. You're not trying to try to save money by buying in bulk. Today, you will optimize on the scale that produces a happy life for you in the long run. So, come home with a mickey, preferably something you like.

With this mickey, you begin by pouring yourself a generous drink, the better to toast your success. You may treat your newly compliant beta roommate to a shot or even a double, which you will pour for him. But maintain control of the booze, and consume every drop yourself. Do this in front of him until the entire thing is finished. In this way, you share a small portion of your bounty, and you acknowledge the continuation of a social bond between the two of you. But you do it in a way that allows you to maintain control, and like the lion who feasts first upon the freshly killed wildebeest, you share only what you wish to share.

Under no circumstances do you perform any of this suggested "splitting" activity. That implies some kind of equal division, and the alpha does not share equally. Not if he wants to stay alpha. Nor do you allow him to touch the bottle. It's your bottle and you're making it clear that you're going to finish the whole thing and satisfy your needs without taking responsibility for satisfying his. (Which is why you're not going to come home with a magnum, unless you're feeling really ambitious: THERE MUST BE NO LEFTOVERS.) The entire point is that you're going to treat yourself.

bahahaha. I read this in the voice of Erlich Bachman from Silicon Valley...

Dicey

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #69 on: June 10, 2016, 09:39:55 AM »
I love this. I think "Jack" could be my sister. Following because,  car wreck, can't turn away.

Inaya

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #70 on: June 10, 2016, 09:45:06 AM »
I love this. I think "Jack" could be my sister. Following because,  car wreck, can't turn away.
I read this before it got epic, then forgot about it. Just found it again and now must follow.

JZinCO

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #71 on: June 10, 2016, 09:45:37 AM »
PencilThinStache: Excellent. You've just proven that you can assert your alpha status and be forgiven. Continue to do this at all times and you will enjoy a good and happy life without having to actually kill the people who piss you off.

If your goal is to maintain your happy household, your next step is not actually going to be a renewal of your struggle against moocherdom. You're going to take advantage of the fact that you are now alpha. This means you do what the ancient kings did, and reward your loyal retainer for his gesture of submission. But you do not do it in a way that suggests that mooching will be rewarded. This guy wants to get somewhat wasted at your expense. Now that you know what he wants, you can control him.

Go to the liquor store when you're damn well good and ready-- not necessarily today. Purchase some of the libation that YOU like to consume, in a quantity that makes sense. This will be a different kind of optimization exercise than your usual Mustachian instincts would suggest. You're not trying to try to save money by buying in bulk. Today, you will optimize on the scale that produces a happy life for you in the long run. So, come home with a mickey, preferably something you like.

With this mickey, you begin by pouring yourself a generous drink, the better to toast your success. You may treat your newly compliant beta roommate to a shot or even a double, which you will pour for him. But maintain control of the booze, and consume every drop yourself. Do this in front of him until the entire thing is finished. In this way, you share a small portion of your bounty, and you acknowledge the continuation of a social bond between the two of you. But you do it in a way that allows you to maintain control, and like the lion who feasts first upon the freshly killed wildebeest, you share only what you wish to share.

Under no circumstances do you perform any of this suggested "splitting" activity. That implies some kind of equal division, and the alpha does not share equally. Not if he wants to stay alpha. Nor do you allow him to touch the bottle. It's your bottle and you're making it clear that you're going to finish the whole thing and satisfy your needs without taking responsibility for satisfying his. (Which is why you're not going to come home with a magnum, unless you're feeling really ambitious: THERE MUST BE NO LEFTOVERS.) The entire point is that you're going to treat yourself.

bahahaha. I read this in the voice of Erlich Bachman from Silicon Valley...

Bachmanity!

Nederstash

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #72 on: June 10, 2016, 01:24:28 PM »
PTS and the GrimSqueaker could sell ad space on this thread and retire in about 3 months.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #73 on: June 10, 2016, 11:17:20 PM »
This thread is brilliant...

Grim, you should write a blog or so something.

I actually have one devoted to renting out a single room in one's house. The site is fairly new so I'm still working out the layout and design, and there are only a few posts I've taken live.

Goldielocks

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #74 on: June 11, 2016, 12:43:06 AM »
There are two types of gifts that are even worse to receive...

1.  The same type of expensive  but awkward / not useful gift, that immediate family bought for you using your own money.  Look honey!  I bought this fancy gizmo for you for your birthday, that you never wanted or knew existed, for $480.   Why don't you thank me profusely now and for the next three months?   (I would guess a car as a gift could fall into this category, too)

2.  a Gift that is really for the giver to use.  (think table saw for the person who never goes into the workshop).

Not sure where I would rate scented expensive MLM candles, purchased en mass for your DH, by your MIL from your SIL to support SIL's new "business", that you happen to be allergic to and obviously have not used any "scent enhancers" in your home for at least 9 years...


Anyway,  I read the disgruntled rant for what it was,  a way to get it out of the system so there would be no trace left in your real life...




yuka

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #75 on: June 11, 2016, 01:21:46 AM »
best thread on this forum
takes me back to my Misc. days...I'm almost convinced grimsqueaker frequents the Misc.

Former Misc member represent!

I think this forum is far healthier than the Misc :)

Stay strong OP!

I'm guessing Misc is the crown jewel of some forum from its heyday, like WoW's off-topic or 4chan's /b/?

MgoSam

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #76 on: June 14, 2016, 09:18:47 AM »
There are two types of gifts that are even worse to receive...

1.  The same type of expensive  but awkward / not useful gift, that immediate family bought for you using your own money.  Look honey!  I bought this fancy gizmo for you for your birthday, that you never wanted or knew existed, for $480.   Why don't you thank me profusely now and for the next three months?   (I would guess a car as a gift could fall into this category, too)

2.  a Gift that is really for the giver to use.  (think table saw for the person who never goes into the workshop).

Not sure where I would rate scented expensive MLM candles, purchased en mass for your DH, by your MIL from your SIL to support SIL's new "business", that you happen to be allergic to and obviously have not used any "scent enhancers" in your home for at least 9 years...


Anyway,  I read the disgruntled rant for what it was,  a way to get it out of the system so there would be no trace left in your real life...

I think you posted this on the wrong topic.

Goldielocks

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #77 on: June 14, 2016, 09:24:56 AM »
Yeah. Posting from my phone this week and 75% don't post at all. I wonder where the others will show up. ?

andy85

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #78 on: June 20, 2016, 12:28:03 PM »
best thread on this forum
takes me back to my Misc. days...I'm almost convinced grimsqueaker frequents the Misc.

Former Misc member represent!

I think this forum is far healthier than the Misc :)

Stay strong OP!

I'm guessing Misc is the crown jewel of some forum from its heyday, like WoW's off-topic or 4chan's /b/?
somewhat, but not nearly as large. it is actually a sub-forum on the bodybuilding.com forums...name of the forum was literally "Misc."

just a bunch of 16-40 year old dudes with too much free time on their hands. some came for advice, most came for the lulz. A completely chauvinistic bunch, but always hilarious. topics could literally cover anything you could imagine and a lot of things you couldnt.

frugalnacho

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #79 on: June 20, 2016, 12:33:52 PM »
best thread on this forum
takes me back to my Misc. days...I'm almost convinced grimsqueaker frequents the Misc.

Former Misc member represent!

I think this forum is far healthier than the Misc :)

Stay strong OP!

I'm guessing Misc is the crown jewel of some forum from its heyday, like WoW's off-topic or 4chan's /b/?
somewhat, but not nearly as large. it is actually a sub-forum on the bodybuilding.com forums...name of the forum was literally "Misc."

just a bunch of 16-40 year old dudes with too much free time on their hands. some came for advice, most came for the lulz. A completely chauvinistic bunch, but always hilarious. topics could literally cover anything you could imagine and a lot of things you couldnt.

Very similar experience for about 15 years of my life, but replace bodybuilding.com with guitar.com.  The same group of miscers jumped ship to another forum when the original imploded, and cycled through about 10 new forums after that.  The group evolved and gained new members over the years, and I eventually stopped going.   They were still going as of 3-4 years ago though.

DutchV

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #80 on: June 21, 2016, 10:19:58 PM »
Words to live by:  Distance From Disorder.  I wouldn't associate with anyone this dysfunctional.  It's a lot of work, and they might do something else crazy (or worse) later.  I'd try to be rid of this fool ASAP.  I try to keep people like this out of my life. 

PDM

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #81 on: June 21, 2016, 11:39:40 PM »
Oh my. I can relate from my share house days. Now I live with my permanent roommate (wife) things are much better and splitting everything makes sense. No way in hell I'd share anything more than basics like toilet paper or oil etc with housemates...even then...

yuka

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #82 on: June 25, 2016, 05:05:07 PM »
Oh my. I can relate from my share house days. Now I live with my permanent roommate (wife) things are much better and splitting everything makes sense. No way in hell I'd share anything more than basics like toilet paper or oil etc with housemates...even then...

Actually I had a pretty good experience splitting everything with housemates. It helped that we were all making a comfortable (and identical)  amount of money. We took turns cooking and shopping , and after a while learned to accept expensive food buys as the price of harmony.

PDM

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #83 on: June 25, 2016, 06:16:20 PM »
Eek. Maybe I was the shit housemate?

ender

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #84 on: June 25, 2016, 06:42:08 PM »
Oh my. I can relate from my share house days. Now I live with my permanent roommate (wife) things are much better and splitting everything makes sense. No way in hell I'd share anything more than basics like toilet paper or oil etc with housemates...even then...

Before I got married, my roommates and I always split everything evenly. It worked out well since all of us were very similarly minded on everything.


SaskyStache

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #85 on: June 25, 2016, 07:44:03 PM »
Oh my. I can relate from my share house days. Now I live with my permanent roommate (wife) things are much better and splitting everything makes sense. No way in hell I'd share anything more than basics like toilet paper or oil etc with housemates...even then...

Before I got married, my roommates and I always split everything evenly. It worked out well since all of us were very similarly minded on everything.

I've done both and it has worked out. When I haven't, it was that we were on completely different tracks. We could still be on friendly terms and have good times together, but... there had to be terms. Most of the time I have shared costs evenly with roommates and traveling companions and that was a much better experience, but probably not because of the system. I think it was more because it was a telling sign that we had a similar mindset and that there was a certain level of trust already present.

I would not trust the OP's roommate as far as I can thrown him, and I'm very weak.

MgoSam

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #86 on: June 26, 2016, 12:09:38 AM »
Oh my. I can relate from my share house days. Now I live with my permanent roommate (wife) things are much better and splitting everything makes sense. No way in hell I'd share anything more than basics like toilet paper or oil etc with housemates...even then...

Before I got married, my roommates and I always split everything evenly. It worked out well since all of us were very similarly minded on everything.

I've done both and it has worked out. When I haven't, it was that we were on completely different tracks. We could still be on friendly terms and have good times together, but... there had to be terms. Most of the time I have shared costs evenly with roommates and traveling companions and that was a much better experience, but probably not because of the system. I think it was more because it was a telling sign that we had a similar mindset and that there was a certain level of trust already present.

I would not trust the OP's roommate as far as I can thrown him, and I'm very weak.

I have my first ever tenant currently, he's been living here for about 2 months. He's an older guy (57), but is quiet, clean, though a little demanding on some things, but very reasonable when he is. When we first starting talking and realized that we could stand each other (he was a tenant of a friend of mine's boyfriend's friend), he was very insistent that the only things of mine he ever wants to share are utensils and silverware/pots/ect. I didn't quite get the point, but I really like it. It leaves no gray area. I think it's good to have such boundaries.

yuka

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #87 on: June 26, 2016, 02:06:18 PM »
(he was a tenant of a friend of mine's boyfriend's friend)


Haha! You can say 'friend of a friend', and we won't have trust issues over it.

frugalnacho

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #88 on: June 27, 2016, 07:51:21 AM »
(he was a tenant of a friend of mine's boyfriend's friend)

Which one of them knows Kevin Bacon?

MgoSam

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #89 on: June 27, 2016, 09:10:51 AM »
(he was a tenant of a friend of mine's boyfriend's friend)


Haha! You can say 'friend of a friend', and we won't have trust issues over it.

It's more fun my way.

PencilThinStash

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #90 on: June 30, 2016, 10:54:31 AM »
Oh, boy. I was really hoping that I was done posting in this thread.

So everything had been going fine for a few weeks. I mentioned in my last post that Jack was making a few little passive aggressive comments, but nothing serious and overall it was making me chuckle. Life was good.

Until my birthday weekend, when my parents came to town.

Little bit of background info – I’m the independent kid. My siblings live within 20 minutes of my parents, while I live roughly 9 hours away. My parents are pretty well off and EXTREMELY generous to begin with. Since I’m not around as much as my siblings, they tend to go a little, well… overboard on spoiling me, when we do see each other.

In addition to my parents, my little sister and several cousins also came in. We’re all really close, so I offered to put everybody up at the apartment for the weekend. Knowing this would be an inconvenience, I’d run it by Jack a month in advance. Then invited him along to all the family lunches/dinners out of common courtesy. He got along well with the group, everybody had a blast.

The problem started after everybody left on Sunday afternoon. You see, between 7 people’s worth of leftovers from a full weekend of eating out, and a couple pounds of beef brisket my parents had catered for the ~50 people we had at the party on Saturday night (I told you, they go overboard)… My fridge is now PACKED with more food than I can possibly eat before it goes bad. On top of that, we also had way too much beer left over. A few different brands, including a couple that I’m not crazy about (Coors Light is water, IPA’s are too hoppy for my taste, etc).

I made people take food home with them. I let the guy whose house we used keep a full case of beer and more than half the brisket… but I still came home with too much. So here I am, with an overstuffed fridge and a cooler full of beer, coming down from the mental high of a great weekend. And I figure – what the hell. I don’t want any food to go to waste, and I’m never going to drink some of this beer. I tell Jack to have at it.

If you’re smarter than I am, you already see where this is going.

We ate like kings for a week, and somehow managed to finish everything off. Nothing wasted, nothing thrown away. Awesome.

Except, to use our running analogy, Jack now thinks he’s back on the nipple.

MOTHERFUCKER, I’M A DUMBASS.

I started to realize it halfway through the week, when I was opening the presents that some particularly generous friends had gotten me. It’s pretty well-known that I’m a bourbon/scotch drinker, and I received a few bottles that are a step or two above what I normally buy myself. Nice enough to label “sit back and slowly enjoy” liquor, not “pound it fast for a wild night” liquor. As I’m opening them, Jack walks into the living room and says “Damn, looks like we don’t need to buy booze for a while, we’re gonna drink good!” Because, being a mooch, someone else’s good fortune naturally translates as his own. I’m all for sharing a drink here and there, hell, we had people over a few nights ago and I opened the private stash to start everybody off with a nice drink. I’m not trying to be a selfish prick, but damn it, don’t act like you have an equal right to my shit.

I’ve reset the boundaries since then, but I kind of feel like I’m back at the beginning of the battle. What the hell.

It’s hit me over the last week that there’s more to my issue with Jack than him just being a mooch. It’s that he runs his entire life based on what feels good at the moment. No comprehension of delayed gratification or long term consequences, it’s 100% “what feels good NOW.” The more I think about it, the more I can’t help but realize he’s a child.

I suppose that explains why he’s so much fun to hang out with, and simultaneously miserable to live with.

His dishes were piling up in the sink for a week or so. When we walked in the other day, the apartment had a very obvious stench coming from the kitchen. He starts complaining, I say “Hey, they’re your dishes.” He walks over, digs around, finds ONE bowl that he thinks is the source of the smell, washes THAT ONE BOWL, lights a candle to mask the stink, then goes back into the living room to play video games like everything’s taken care of.

A few days later, I’m washing some of my own dishes (we don’t have a dishwasher) when he comes over and goes “Oh, are we knocking these all out right now? About time!” and starts towel drying what I’d set on the counter to air-dry. So I finish washing mine and start to walk away. “Hey, PencilThinStash, what about all of these?” “Jack, those are yours. I’ll towel dry, but it’s not my job to clean them.”

To his credit, he did most of them at that point, but you could tell he was peeved that I hadn’t just taken care of it myself.

What’s really getting under my skin right now, though?

Before I got this job, before we moved in together, Jack had called me up because he’d just started with a temp agency in the area. He knew I was looking, and had even talked with other temp agencies, but wasn’t having any luck. He recommended the one he was using, so I walked in the next day to talk to them. Got a call from the agency a few days later asking if I’d like to interview with the company I’m working for now. Said yes, quickly set up the interview. Was talking to him a few days later and realized that he’d gotten a call to interview at the same place, but Jack let it go to voicemail and didn’t schedule anything. By the time he got around to calling the agency back, the company had already given me the job.

In Jack’s eyes, this means “I’m the one who got you the job” and “If it wasn’t for you, I’d be the one working there right now.”

On one hand, he’s right. I wouldn’t have my job right now if he hadn’t told me about the temp agency in the first place. I’m grateful he did.

But implying my work ethic and skill set had nothing to do with the fact that the company loved me and decided to bring me on full time? The fact that I actually answered the phone call and scheduled an interview immediately, while he took a week to call them back – That doesn’t play into it at all? Nope. The only thing that matters is that he told me about a temp agency, and stole the job from him.

Someone at work quit recently, and in Jack’s eyes, the way I can “pay him back” is getting him that open job. To be honest, he has the skill set for it. It’s what his degree is in. If I trusted his work ethic, I’d be happy to do it. If I didn’t think he was a child, I’d be recommending him to my boss right this moment. However, the reason he got fired from his last serious job is that he was warned multiple times to stop being lazy, stop coming in late, stop socializing all the time, and actually do work. He calls it a layoff, but if you’re the only person they let go, and it’s because you never worked, that’s a fucking firing.

If I’m going to put my reputation on the line vouching for somebody, I need to know they're not going to drag it through the mud.

He won’t stop bugging me about it, though. “Dude, think how much fun it would be to work together! We’d be running that place within a year!”

Am I being an ungrateful, selfish asshole here? Or am I just so far into crazy that I can't even tell anymore? Holy hell, I’m just… done.

Kitsune

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #91 on: June 30, 2016, 11:22:30 AM »
Be done.

Holy hell, whatever you do, do NOT recommend him for a job - that's your reputation on the line too.

And consider moving. Saving money is all well and good, but man.mas a second-hand story he's entertaining, but I wouldn't sign up to live with him!

Zamboni

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #92 on: June 30, 2016, 12:00:18 PM »
I agree with Kitsune (and you) that you should not recommend him for the job at your company. My ex- did that for a friend when we were both about your age, and he got seriously burned by his immature flaky friend acting exactly the way it sounds like Jack would act. His friend didn't even last for 3 months in that job. Then, after that everyone was questioning my ex's judgement. The sad thing is that, like you, he already knew his friend had serious work ethic and maturity issues, but he went against his better judgement. It didn't help their friendship at all.

On the one hand, I've helped plenty of friends get jobs and this has created a circle of mutual benefit during our careers. On the other had, I have unfortunately also been in the situation where I've had to tell bosses and coworkers "he is my friend from school/church/sports/whatever, but I have doubts about hiring this person and here's why" when I've known applicants. It sucks, but if someone will make a shitty employee, then you really have no other choice.

Can you just tell him you have no sway in the hiring decision?

andy85

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #93 on: June 30, 2016, 01:04:04 PM »
in real life you definitely should not recommend him for the job. lie to him if necessary. who cares at this point. not sure if you should move out or not...when he isn't being a mooch he seems tolerable.

in internet land i never want you and jack to separate and i want you all to work together forever just so i can selfishly be entertained. i love this thread.

PencilThinStash

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #94 on: June 30, 2016, 01:08:14 PM »
I agree with Kitsune (and you) that you should not recommend him for the job at your company. My ex- did that for a friend when we were both about your age, and he got seriously burned by his immature flaky friend acting exactly the way it sounds like Jack would act. His friend didn't even last for 3 months in that job. Then, after that everyone was questioning my ex's judgement. The sad thing is that, like you, he already knew his friend had serious work ethic and maturity issues, but he went against his better judgement. It didn't help their friendship at all.

On the one hand, I've helped plenty of friends get jobs and this has created a circle of mutual benefit during our careers. On the other had, I have unfortunately also been in the situation where I've had to tell bosses and coworkers "he is my friend from school/church/sports/whatever, but I have doubts about hiring this person and here's why" when I've known applicants. It sucks, but if someone will make a shitty employee, then you really have no other choice.

Can you just tell him you have no sway in the hiring decision?

I'm all for recommending people that I believe in. I've been on the receiving end of that benefit when friends have recommended me to their bosses in the past, and it's only fair that I do the same for others. Karma and whatnot (even if I don't actually believe in karma).

Thankfully, I have a minor reprieve for the moment - I work for a tiny, family-owned company with ~15 employees, and the owner is the only one with hiring power. He's out of town for the next month or so, leaving nobody in the office who Jack could really give a resume to. I've told him this, and he keeps saying "Ya, I understand that, but I still want to stop in and hand it to somebody." We don't have an official HR department, the most anybody could do would be to sit on it for a couple weeks until the owner gets back. Technically, there isn't even a position open yet, just a vague "I'll get around to it when I get back" vibe. There's literally nothing I could do to help Jack right now, even if I wanted to.

PencilThinStash

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #95 on: June 30, 2016, 01:22:02 PM »
in real life you definitely should not recommend him for the job. lie to him if necessary. who cares at this point. not sure if you should move out or not...when he isn't being a mooch he seems tolerable.

in internet land i never want you and jack to separate and i want you all to work together forever just so i can selfishly be entertained. i love this thread.

I think the whole "being a child" thing is part of his charm. The rest of us all have real jobs and responsibilities, he's a fun breath of fresh air for people living in regular grown-up world. He's like Hank Moody in Californication - A blast to hang out with, but living with the guy or expecting anything out of him is a mistake.

Damn, come to think of it, that's actually a perfect comparison. I should have been more patient and used "Hank" for his pseudonym.

Hahaha I'm glad y'all are getting some enjoyment out of my stress, though.

Nederstash

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #96 on: June 30, 2016, 01:34:58 PM »
As someone who has made the colossal mistake of recommending an acquaintance, heed my words: FUCK. NO.

I might be slightly biased because this acquaintance stole from the company and is still suing two years down the line (with no basis by the way - every claim has failed so far). Boy do I feel like a dumbass...

Also waiting for the Grim Squeaker to reply to your post.

SweetTPi

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #97 on: June 30, 2016, 01:44:27 PM »
I will point out that nothing keeps you from the response of "I've mentioned you to [boss], but I have no control over hiring."  Heck, it can even be true.  Nothing about that statement means that you actually recommend him, and you can legitimately tell [boss], "Yea, there's a guy I know who would love to work here, but I wouldn't recommend him." 

Theoretically you could get bonus points from both sides- the roomie gets told that he was mentioned, and the [boss] knows that you have the best for the company in mind.

PencilThinStash

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #98 on: June 30, 2016, 01:46:17 PM »
What's the situation with your lease?  Are you both on it?  Could you afford the payment and/or quickly line up another roommate if he were to move out?  If so, then I would have a conversation with him something along these lines:

1)  I am not going to recommend you for the job, because given your past track record (getting fired for not working) and what I have observed while we have been sharing housing, I am worried that you will underperform and I don't want my professional reputation tied to you in any way.  You are welcome to apply if you want, but I won't be able to help you in any way -- it is up to you to land the job and do your best to keep it.

2)  After several weeks/months of sharing housing, I have come to the conclusion that it isn't working for me to be roommates with you.  We can still be friends, but I don't want to live with you.  I'm willing to [pay your moving costs/cover your share of the rent for the next x weeks/give you $x00 in cash -- choose an option you can afford/think is reasonable and that you think he will take] if you move out by July 15th.  I will contact the landlord about signing a new lease to get your name off the current one. 

I think if you can offer the right incentive, he will probably move out.  Assuming he can find someone stupid enough to let him move in with them.  Be prepared for him badmouthing/complaining about you to your mutual friends for awhile, though.  Still, that is probably less stressful than putting up with living with him for the rest of your lease term.

We're both on it. 10 months left. I could afford the rent by myself IF I cut my savings rate to about 2%. Though I suppose I'd free up a few dollars in the budget from cancelling our disgustingly extravagant $120/month cable bill (Aside from Netflix, I hardly ever watch tv, why am I paying for half of this nonsense?).

Not a step I'm willing to take quite yet, but time will tell...

Also waiting for the Grim Squeaker to reply to your post.

Honestly, 50% of the reason I posted was to get GrimSqueaker's take on the situation. I do like the rest of you, but I'm practically drooling in anticipation for that goldmine of a response.

Dezrah

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Re: Roommate Rant
« Reply #99 on: June 30, 2016, 02:11:16 PM »
When your reprieve is over, I'd hand over Jack's resume and say, "I hear looking for someone to fill a position. I think this guy has the right skill set for the job."

"Oh really? You think he's a good fit?"

"Well I like him as a friend though I've never worked with him in a professional capacity, so I can't speak to that."

"Look, I don't want to waste my time here. Would you hire him if you were me?"

"Well I think the work he'd produce would be good, but I may have to employ a stricter managerial style to get those results. Assuming I have that power and energy as a boss, yes, I would hire him."

"Are you telling me I'd have to micromanage this guy? I don't have time for that."

"Honestly it's all speculation on my part. But I do know that when we had personal problems and sat down to talk about it, things got better on both ends. But hey, he's my friend and I can't help but be biased. I'm sure your the one who can best determine who's a good fit."

Praise his good points, don't out lie, and stick to vague "I've never worked with him professionally" responses when pressed for a sad truth. You could repeat the conversion verboten to Jack and have a clear conscience.

An empathetic person will pick up that you're being a good friend but aren't quite crazy about the guy. That will prompt them to dig a little deeper and decide to go for it anyway or pass but ultimately it has nothing to do with you.

If he does get the job, for the love of all that is holy, move out. Do you really want to work with the guy all day long and then go home with him and spend all evening together? I don't even want to do that with my husband, and we get along.