I think most people here do have balance in their lives. It's just that their balance points will be different then yours, or mine, or anyone else's. As you've said here and in other threads, you want the big house, new car, luxury vacations, expensive hobbies, fine dining, etc... and are willing to work years longer to have those things because they are important to you. That is your balance. For many other's here, including myself, the things you want are not anything we would want regardless of our incomes. Many of us prefer to ride our bikes, live in small spaces, camp and hike rather than take cruises or luxury vacations, go carless, cook at home, have free hobbies, etc... That is our preferred state of living. To live in a different way with many more of the luxuries and trappings of a middle class American consumer lifestyle would make our lives very unbalanced. So what's balance a for you would be unbalanced for me. And for me, working many years longer at even a beloved job in order to have things you really aren't interested in wouldn't be much of a trade-off for many of us. We want, and would rather have, freedom (FI and/or RE) then those other things which are unimportant to many of us.
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For the record, I don't have, nor do I want, a big expensive house, both of mine that I've lived in (and I keep one as an investment property) are <1800 sq ft. I also buy new cars but keep them a long time (I've owned one of mine for 8 years and the other for 4 years and expect to own both for a full decade at least).
And I don't spend indiscriminently, I do target everything, but the point I'm trying to make is that sometimes people do buy make purchases that make them happy AND they do it when they can afford it AND they do it with both eyes open financially understanding what they can afford. There's a tendancy here to think any purchase not in line with the groupthink is due to mindless, stupid fucking consumerism, and that's way too simplistic of an answer.