My husband has an older sister and an older brother, each of whom has a child. A couple
Of years before starting our own family we offered each of them to open up a 529 for their kids. One said yes and then never followed up with providing their kid’s SSN to be named beneficiary. The second shared some stuff about not wanting to reduce possible student aid eligibility in the future and preferred to be given cash to keep under the mattress. Which of course we did not agree to. So neither of them took us up on our offer.
We now have three sprogs of our own so are busy with their 529s.
I did a similar thing with my twin Goddaughters. I didn't want to waste money on plastic crap, so from the time they were babies, I said instead of quickly forgotten Christmas and Birthday gifts, I'd pay for a trip to Europe when they graduated from High School. Despite the fact that their dad is an actual financial planner (now over 50 and severely underemployed), the necessary information to set up accounts for this was never forthcoming, despite multiple asks. Perhaps their father didn't want to have someone else contributing money into accounts on his daughters' behalf, but I know (knew?) them well enough that they easily could have said so or proposed an alternative.
Fast forward many years. Communication is less frequent, but still semi-regular. The girls graduated without any mention of this to me. (OMG, they grow up so fast, lol!) I guess graduation announcements aren't a "thing" any more? Once I realized they were past graduation, I struggled with how much to give them, because I'm a woman of my word. I knew the family was facing some economic difficulties, so I sent a check for $5k* and told the mom to use it as best suited their family's needs.
Eventually, she said she was going to give the girls "some of the money" for their birthday. Subsequently, I got a - wait for it - thank you text from them. I have no idea what they got and damned if I'm going to ask.
At least I have the consolation of knowing that I didn't add a bunch of pink plastic crap to the environmental slag heap.
*I have no idea how much a trip for two to Europe costs, but I do know how hard I worked for $5k, as opposed to investing a smaller amount when they were very young and letting them watch it grow. I wanted the girls to have the thrill of watching it grow and planning a trip together with "their" money. Ah, well. Water under the bridge.
And one more thing. I used to visit frequently, even though they live several hundred miles away, because I was single and carefree and I love them to pieces. Fast forward to me finally getting married and then inheriting a MIL with ALZ. I had little freedom to visit during those caregiving years and thus the bonds of our friendship had loosened, but there was no way I was going to forget my promise to them.