Relatives who just don't get it

[With This Herring]

Edit: Forgot to mention that they refused to turn on subtitles for me and were rude about it, for a movie they had all seen countless times and insisted I have to watch because I haven't seen it. Sigh. I don't necessarily expect it, but English is my 3rd language and I miss a lot of dialogue.

Oh, that stinks.  I have a hard time catching the dialogue in movies when there is too much background music or conversation in the room, so I prefer to always use subtitles even though English is my only language.  One of the members of my group of friends has been dating a someone whose primary language isn't English, so now with two of us preferring it, subtitles are default on everything we watch as a group.  :)

I don’t understand the television as background noise thing. I find it incredibly stressful to have that noise going. When I visited my SIL and they had the television going all the time I found myself hiding in the guest room to escape it.

Mr. SP fully retired 2 years ago.  I'm pretty much living in our den (with doors!)  to escape the damn TV being on all day.  The same things over, over, and over again.  He promises to turn it off, but like a moth to a flame, half an hour later it's on again. 

I'm slowly losing my mind.

TV as background noise is helpful for some people with tinnitus.

Would Mr. SP be willing to listen to music instead (if the TV is just to create noise)?  Or use headphones for the television?  Or move the television to the den so that the rest of the house is free of it?

[Shinplaster]

I don’t understand the television as background noise thing. I find it incredibly stressful to have that noise going. When I visited my SIL and they had the television going all the time I found myself hiding in the guest room to escape it.

Mr. SP fully retired 2 years ago.  I'm pretty much living in our den (with doors!)  to escape the damn TV being on all day.  The same things over, over, and over again.  He promises to turn it off, but like a moth to a flame, half an hour later it's on again. 

I'm slowly losing my mind.

TV as background noise is helpful for some people with tinnitus.

Would Mr. SP be willing to listen to music instead (if the TV is just to create noise)?  Or use headphones for the television?  Or move the television to the den so that the rest of the house is free of it?

He's not a fan of music playing, and won't wear headphones.  We have a TV in the basement, but he doesn't like basements either.  I think part of it is that he didn't get to watch much TV while he was working, and is "catching up" now.  I've been willing to let it go for a while, but I've about reached the end of my rope. We have an open concept house - noise goes everywhere.  I'll give it until after Christmas, and then we will have the conversation about limiting TV again.  If cutting cable totally is the solution, I'm about ready to go there.

He's a good guy, and not as rigid as ^ makes him sound.  I just don't want to end up as the 'old people watching TV all day' cliche as already referenced by other posters. 

[nwhiker]

I worry that my sister and husband  are in for a huge failure in the future. They are looking to buy a home but needed to save money for a down payment. Neither of them lived on their own before marrying and they were given a house by family so they have no mortgage. They make over $100k per year in a very LCOL area where an expensive house is around $200k. How do you not already have the down payment? Then I learned they aren't contributing to retirement. The husband's income derives from traveling for O&G and if he were have to find a local job would take a 70% pay cut. Money comes in and goes right back out.

[Just Joe]

... People buying things I remember them buying just a few years ago. Expensive things that made me wonder if the new thing would be any better than the old version. Same people complaining about money from time to time.

Why not buy something of good quality, take care of it and get a decade or more from it?

I have an associate (former friend who I no longer have much to do with but still observe the drama from a distance) who is like this at tax time every year.

Brags on Facebook (and previously to me personally) about "needing" to buy a new TV, HDD, digital camera and laptop for him and/or his wife. Every year.

This is someone who grew up in a housing commission estate in a poor area, then suffered with unemployment due to illness as a young adult, so I think when he finally got full-time work and started making decent money he went a bit overboard with spending.

But he's over 60 now, doesn't have kids, lives in an affordable area, and still has a mortgage because he spends every dollar on toys.

Yeah, I see it with TVs, cars and computers. Their needs have not changed. The user experience will likely be nearly the same. Just shinier.

Don't ya love a murder on the TV in the family room while you're celebrating the holiday? It brings so much cheer to the occasion.

We got another dose of couple specific "reality TV" shows that we have under a minute's worth of patience for. DW says it was the same episodes as last year on Thanksgiving. I just drifted out of the room. Maybe I'll go walk the dog and enjoy the crisp night air. 

[Cassie]

We keep the TV off when we have company.  It is rude to have it on.

[MgoSam]

Sadly I have so little in common with my family that I look forward to the TV being on when there's the inevitable Christmas day get together. At least then they'll be sports on. Nothing against the people in my family it's just that I can get through all the small talk in 10 minutes before they start trying to get into the whole, "When will you grow up and let your mother pick you a women to marry so that you can pop out 2 or 3 kids before you get any older."

[ketchup]

We keep the TV off when we have company.  It is rude to have it on.

+1.  It's very distracting.  I was at a friend's family's house over the weekend (three generations roaming the house) and they had the TV blaring with nobody watching, or maybe one or two people half-watching. 

If I decide to watch TV, I'll watch TV.  It's a conscious action, not a background.  I really don't get it.  Music, fine, but TV?

[Cassie]

Sam, your mom needs to mind her own business. I have 3 adult kids and would never tell them what to do.  I am really amazed at the number of people on this forum who get told what to do by their parents.  I enjoy talking with my kids and how they live their lives is up to them.

[Shinplaster]

Sam, your mom needs to mind her own business. I have 3 adult kids and would never tell them what to do.  I am really amazed at the number of people on this forum who get told what to do by their parents.  I enjoy talking with my kids and how they live their lives is up to them.

Oh yes.  Part of the fun of having grown up children is you don't have to tell them what to do any more.

[With This Herring]

Sadly I have so little in common with my family that I look forward to the TV being on when there's the inevitable Christmas day get together. At least then they'll be sports on. Nothing against the people in my family it's just that I can get through all the small talk in 10 minutes before they start trying to get into the whole, "When will you grow up and let your mother pick you a women to marry so that you can pop out 2 or 3 kids before you get any older."

You are missing a golden opportunity.  Just marry a lady who already has a few young kids.  Super efficient!

[Cookie78]

We keep the TV off when we have company.  It is rude to have it on.

I'll never forget the time when we were camping and it was rainy my cousins and their kids and I (ranging in ages from 4-30) piled in a camper to play dice. There were at least 10 of us and we were very loud and having a grand time. Another cousin came in and plopped her youngest (3ish) down beside us with some portable loud tv blaring device. I was incredulous. So irritating. The kid watched it for all of 10 seconds before the game we were playing was more interesting.

[Goldielocks]

Sadly I have so little in common with my family that I look forward to the TV being on when there's the inevitable Christmas day get together. At least then they'll be sports on. Nothing against the people in my family it's just that I can get through all the small talk in 10 minutes before they start trying to get into the whole, "When will you grow up and let your mother pick you a women to marry so that you can pop out 2 or 3 kids before you get any older."

So... When do you plan to have kids?


<ack>

[Apples]

We keep the TV off when we have company.  It is rude to have it on.

I'll never forget the time when we were camping and it was rainy my cousins and their kids and I (ranging in ages from 4-30) piled in a camper to play dice. There were at least 10 of us and we were very loud and having a grand time. Another cousin came in and plopped her youngest (3ish) down beside us with some portable loud tv blaring device. I was incredulous. So irritating. The kid watched it for all of 10 seconds before the game we were playing was more interesting.

What dice game?  My family really enjoys Farkle, and sort of enjoys Yahtzee.  I'd love to get another recommendation.

[Cookie78]

We keep the TV off when we have company.  It is rude to have it on.

I'll never forget the time when we were camping and it was rainy my cousins and their kids and I (ranging in ages from 4-30) piled in a camper to play dice. There were at least 10 of us and we were very loud and having a grand time. Another cousin came in and plopped her youngest (3ish) down beside us with some portable loud tv blaring device. I was incredulous. So irritating. The kid watched it for all of 10 seconds before the game we were playing was more interesting.

What dice game?  My family really enjoys Farkle, and sort of enjoys Yahtzee.  I'd love to get another recommendation.

We just call it 'dice', but it looks like there are many names, including Farkle. :)

http://www.dice-play.com/Games/TenThousand.htm

[Linea_Norway]

We keep the TV off when we have company.  It is rude to have it on.

I'll never forget the time when we were camping and it was rainy my cousins and their kids and I (ranging in ages from 4-30) piled in a camper to play dice. There were at least 10 of us and we were very loud and having a grand time. Another cousin came in and plopped her youngest (3ish) down beside us with some portable loud tv blaring device. I was incredulous. So irritating. The kid watched it for all of 10 seconds before the game we were playing was more interesting.

Of course the TV is off when you have company. But when company is there for a longer time (family staying over), you can decide to watch TV together.
But I agree that someone having the TV on i a blaring way without asking others whether this was okay is very disturbing. I even think that in my own house when DH turns on the TV without asking me. Unfortunately we don't really have a nice other place to sit comfortably that is not close to the TV. But it least I ask him to turn it off when his program is finished and there isn't anything interesting starting afterwards.

[Dave1442397]

We keep the TV off when we have company.  It is rude to have it on.

I'll never forget the time when we were camping and it was rainy my cousins and their kids and I (ranging in ages from 4-30) piled in a camper to play dice. There were at least 10 of us and we were very loud and having a grand time. Another cousin came in and plopped her youngest (3ish) down beside us with some portable loud tv blaring device. I was incredulous. So irritating. The kid watched it for all of 10 seconds before the game we were playing was more interesting.

I can't stand having a TV as background noise, especially American "news" programs. Just being around that crap makes my brain cells curl up and die.

I've kept the den/office in our house TV-free, and I love being able to sit there and read my book in peace and quiet.

Of course the TV is off when you have company. But when company is there for a longer time (family staying over), you can decide to watch TV together.
But I agree that someone having the TV on i a blaring way without asking others whether this was okay is very disturbing. I even think that in my own house when DH turns on the TV without asking me. Unfortunately we don't really have a nice other place to sit comfortably that is not close to the TV. But it least I ask him to turn it off when his program is finished and there isn't anything interesting starting afterwards.

[zolotiyeruki]

We keep the TV off when we have company.  It is rude to have it on.

I'll never forget the time when we were camping and it was rainy my cousins and their kids and I (ranging in ages from 4-30) piled in a camper to play dice. There were at least 10 of us and we were very loud and having a grand time. Another cousin came in and plopped her youngest (3ish) down beside us with some portable loud tv blaring device. I was incredulous. So irritating. The kid watched it for all of 10 seconds before the game we were playing was more interesting.

What dice game?  My family really enjoys Farkle, and sort of enjoys Yahtzee.  I'd love to get another recommendation.

Here's another one my in-laws love:  everyone has a piece of paper.  There's one die and one pen.  The first person rolls the die until a 6 comes up.  When that happens, they grab the pen and start writing the numbers 1-100, while the next person starts rolling the die.  As soon as person #2 rolls a 6, they grab the pen from #1 and start writing their own sequence, while person #3 starts rolling the die.  This continues around the circle until someone gets to 100.  It's noisy, chaotic, frenetic, and lots of fun.

[kaypinkHH]

Glad I'm not the only one who finds the TV on 24/7 annoying. Totally ok with morning news as people are grabbing breakfast, or the evening "prime time shows"..but the constant crappy made for TV movies from the hours of 8 am -5 pm!! It is madness. I calculated how much running their GIANT TV 14 hours a day, most days of the year, and it would cost them per year: ~$900. THAT IS A TRIP SOMEWHERE!

[RWD]

Glad I'm not the only one who finds the TV on 24/7 annoying. Totally ok with morning news as people are grabbing breakfast, or the evening "prime time shows"..but the constant crappy made for TV movies from the hours of 8 am -5 pm!! It is madness. I calculated how much running their GIANT TV 14 hours a day, most days of the year, and it would cost them per year: ~$900. THAT IS A TRIP SOMEWHERE!

I think you're doing some math wrong here. 14 hours per day is 5,110 hours in the year. Average electricity cost in the US is $0.12/kWh. So $900 of electricity gets you 7,500 kWh. A TV using 7,500 kWh over 5,110 hours would be averaging a power draw of 1,468 watts! That's about 12 times as much as an 86-inch LG TV.

[kaypinkHH]

Herm, interesting, I found a website that quoted 37c/hr assuming a cost of electricity of 27c/kwh. I'm at 13c/kwh, so I just divided the 37c/hr by 2, then x14x360 = ~$900...

But then with the energy cost guideline for TVs most TVs come with an estimated cost for running a TV for 5hours a day per year. Max is $38..so factored for 14 hours a day is only $106. That seems more reasonable...

THAT IS A ROAD TRIP some where.

[AlanStache]

I thought I remembered some story about how TV manufacturers were gaming the energy tests.  Like the TV's computer would identify the standard test video and put the TV into a low power/low brightness mode that most everyone does not actually use so the TV would use less power for the auditor.  I am to lazy to google for this now.

[RWD]

I thought I remembered some story about how TV manufacturers were gaming the energy tests.  Like the TV's computer would identify the standard test video and put the TV into a low power/low brightness mode that most everyone does not actually use so the TV would use less power for the auditor.  I am to lazy to google for this now.

Perhaps, but it's not going to be off by a whole order of magnitude.

[Just Joe]

Sadly I have so little in common with my family that I look forward to the TV being on when there's the inevitable Christmas day get together. At least then they'll be sports on. Nothing against the people in my family it's just that I can get through all the small talk in 10 minutes before they start trying to get into the whole, "When will you grow up and let your mother pick you a women to marry so that you can pop out 2 or 3 kids before you get any older."

Yeah, that's true. The TV can be a savior in times like those. When possible we try to organize a walk or some other activity to avoid sitting and talking if talking is hard with certain family. Mixed success. A warmish clear day on family gatherings is a godsend.

[zolotiyeruki]

I thought I remembered some story about how TV manufacturers were gaming the energy tests.  Like the TV's computer would identify the standard test video and put the TV into a low power/low brightness mode that most everyone does not actually use so the TV would use less power for the auditor.  I am to lazy to google for this now.

Perhaps, but it's not going to be off by a whole order of magnitude.

Actually, since the backlight is the bulk of the power consumption, an order of magnitude is entirely possible.

[shelivesthedream]

My father is into sports (mainly cricket and athletics and higher-level football, but he'll give most things a go) and he almost does the opposite in that he'll have the TV on and tuned to whatever match or fixture is going on, but have it muted. So he'll be cooking or reading or whatever, but the TV is silently going in the background. It's better than constant noise but I do find it oddly disconcerting.

[ketchup]

My father is into sports (mainly cricket and athletics and higher-level football, but he'll give most things a go) and he almost does the opposite in that he'll have the TV on and tuned to whatever match or fixture is going on, but have it muted. So he'll be cooking or reading or whatever, but the TV is silently going in the background. It's better than constant noise but I do find it oddly disconcerting.

This I'd view as similar to checking the score of "the game" every half hour on your smartphone, except less polite/efficient.  Sports aren't my thing, but that's a semi-decent way of doing it if you don't just want to park on the couch and watch three hours of sportsball.

[Hula Hoop]

My father is into sports (mainly cricket and athletics and higher-level football, but he'll give most things a go) and he almost does the opposite in that he'll have the TV on and tuned to whatever match or fixture is going on, but have it muted. So he'll be cooking or reading or whatever, but the TV is silently going in the background. It's better than constant noise but I do find it oddly disconcerting.

My husband used to do that before we cut satellite TV.  He would watch basically any sport including darts, table football and curling. 

[shelivesthedream]

My father is into sports (mainly cricket and athletics and higher-level football, but he'll give most things a go) and he almost does the opposite in that he'll have the TV on and tuned to whatever match or fixture is going on, but have it muted. So he'll be cooking or reading or whatever, but the TV is silently going in the background. It's better than constant noise but I do find it oddly disconcerting.

This I'd view as similar to checking the score of "the game" every half hour on your smartphone, except less polite/efficient.  Sports aren't my thing, but that's a semi-decent way of doing it if you don't just want to park on the couch and watch three hours of sportsball.

But...if you want to be updated on the score while the match is going on, why don't you watch it? Otherwise, why not wait til it's over to get the final score? As you can probably tell, I'm not into any form of sportsball. :)

[ketchup]

My father is into sports (mainly cricket and athletics and higher-level football, but he'll give most things a go) and he almost does the opposite in that he'll have the TV on and tuned to whatever match or fixture is going on, but have it muted. So he'll be cooking or reading or whatever, but the TV is silently going in the background. It's better than constant noise but I do find it oddly disconcerting.

This I'd view as similar to checking the score of "the game" every half hour on your smartphone, except less polite/efficient.  Sports aren't my thing, but that's a semi-decent way of doing it if you don't just want to park on the couch and watch three hours of sportsball.

But...if you want to be updated on the score while the match is going on, why don't you watch it? Otherwise, why not wait til it's over to get the final score? As you can probably tell, I'm not into any form of sportsball. :)

I'm not defending the practice; I just know people do that.  Maybe so they can actually tune in and watch it if they can tell by the score that it's going to be particularly close/interesting?

[mm1970]

Sadly I have so little in common with my family that I look forward to the TV being on when there's the inevitable Christmas day get together. At least then they'll be sports on. Nothing against the people in my family it's just that I can get through all the small talk in 10 minutes before they start trying to get into the whole, "When will you grow up and let your mother pick you a women to marry so that you can pop out 2 or 3 kids before you get any older."

So... When do you plan to have kids?


<ack>

Oh boy, I can sympathize.  I grew up in an era and area where you had kids in your 20s.  I got married at 26, the same year my husband's sister got married.  They had kids right away.  Ahem.

I didn't really want kids, honestly.  It took a few years before the questions started...at one point, at 32, SIL took me aside and said "you know you aren't getting any younger".  Hubs had to call her later and say "YOU ARE  NOT HELPING!!"  I tend to dig in my heels when someone tells me what to do.  Ask my ex-boyfriend about that and a haircut.

The good thing is that I was almost 36 when I had my first kid, and by then everyone had given up and stopped bugging me!  It was a long 10 years in the meantime.

[MgoSam]

Sadly I have so little in common with my family that I look forward to the TV being on when there's the inevitable Christmas day get together. At least then they'll be sports on. Nothing against the people in my family it's just that I can get through all the small talk in 10 minutes before they start trying to get into the whole, "When will you grow up and let your mother pick you a women to marry so that you can pop out 2 or 3 kids before you get any older."

So... When do you plan to have kids?


<ack>

HAHA! Well that's the rub as I'm childfree and so don't plan on having any.

[MgoSam]

Sam, your mom needs to mind her own business. I have 3 adult kids and would never tell them what to do.  I am really amazed at the number of people on this forum who get told what to do by their parents.  I enjoy talking with my kids and how they live their lives is up to them.

Gotta keep in mind that my mom was raised in India so her trying to run her life is precisely what would constitute "her own business." In the culture she was brought up in I would be not be truly considered to be independent in the eyes of my parents/family until I am married. My parents are far better about this having lived in America for a few decades but attitudes remain.

I should add that my mom isn't the one bugging me to get an arranged marriage. She's told me the option is out there and when other family members bring up my lack of marriage she shrugs and says, "It is his life," and "If he wants to get an arranged marriage I'm happy to find him a wife but that's not what he wants."

For my aunts that bring up marriage and arranged marriage, to them that's like talking about the weather. For instance at a party they'll welcome me by literally saying, "Hey Sam, are you getting married soon?" And then will start asking if I have a girlfriend. If I do, they'll want details and pictures of her. If I don't, then they'll start asking about arranged married. As I just broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago I'm glad to not suffer through dinner with family this past week.

As to the point about getting them to mind their own business, easier said than done. My parents, siblings, and a few close family members are the ones I hang out with. I avoid going to most family parties as it ends up being more of this. That said, I do care about my family and want to stay in touch with all of them and so I do go to occasionally gatherings, especially weddings and celebrations.

[AlanStache]

@ MgoSam, I remember living in the Bay Area and having friends and friends of friends who were first generation US born whose parents & family were FAR less understanding than yours seem to be.  Arranged marriage most definitely occurs in the US.  At best it can be a highish pressure match making service, at worst....

[TheGrimSqueaker]

I remember that, when I was in undergraduate school in Alberta, one of my schoolmates was supporting herself by waitressing at a strip club because she had no family to live with in a high COL city while putting herself through school. She'd run away from her family in BC fleeing a forced marriage. It definitely happens in North America. All the time.

[Goldielocks]

I remember that, when I was in undergraduate school in Alberta, one of my schoolmates was supporting herself by waitressing at a strip club because she had no family to live with in a high COL city while putting herself through school. She'd run away from her family in BC fleeing a forced marriage. It definitely happens in North America. All the time.

My Korean friend was given a choice from her father when she graduated high school with me (in Canada)...  Go to university or "come home" (to Korea) and he would find a husband for her.  She was 18, and chose university, but I think went home after 2 years because she really was not interested in the degree, just in not getting married.

[By the River]

And then will start asking if I have a girlfriend. If I do, they'll want details and pictures of her. If I don't, then they'll start asking about arranged married. As I just broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago I'm glad to not suffer through dinner with family this past week.

I have a solution to keep the aunts busy. You can pretend to be dating me. Moms hate me (since I've always been plain about not wanting kids and am "strong willed"), and I tend to agree that I'm a terrible candidate for marriage/childrearing, so the aunts are sure to back off the marriage pressure.

But you are in Canada, so MgoSam's aunts will know its fake....
https://www.gq.com/story/fake-boyfriends-from-canada

[LadyMuMu]

So now I'm thinking there is an amazing RomCom in this. Two Indian singles meet online, exchange photos, and plan to be each other's fake girlfriend/boyfriend for the holidays for the inquiring moms and aunties. After many hijinks, they actually meet and fall in love. The end.

[iris lily]

So now I'm thinking there is an amazing RomCom in this. Two Indian singles meet online, exchange photos, and plan to be each other's fake girlfriend/boyfriend for the holidays for the inquiring moms and aunties. After many hijinks, they actually meet and fall in love. The end.

Awww, I like it!

[zolotiyeruki]

So now I'm thinking there is an amazing RomCom in this. Two Indian singles meet online, exchange photos, and plan to be each other's fake girlfriend/boyfriend for the holidays for the inquiring moms and aunties. After many hijinks, they actually meet and fall in love. The end.

And how about this: they each admit to their families, after the holidays are over, that the relationship was fake.  Then, once the relationship blossoms, they have to explain to their families a few weeks later that it isn't fake any more, and now their families won't believe them! :P

[kaypinkHH]

I would definitely watch this movie :D.

[LadyMuMu]

So now I'm thinking there is an amazing RomCom in this. Two Indian singles meet online, exchange photos, and plan to be each other's fake girlfriend/boyfriend for the holidays for the inquiring moms and aunties. After many hijinks, they actually meet and fall in love. The end.

And how about this: they each admit to their families, after the holidays are over, that the relationship was fake.  Then, once the relationship blossoms, they have to explain to their families a few weeks later that it isn't fake any more, and now their families won't believe them! :P

OK, who is friends with Mindy Kaling? She would be the perfect producer/writer/director/star of this project!

[Eludia]

I don’t understand the television as background noise thing. I find it incredibly stressful to have that noise going. When I visited my SIL and they had the television going all the time I found myself hiding in the guest room to escape it.

Mr. SP fully retired 2 years ago.  I'm pretty much living in our den (with doors!)  to escape the damn TV being on all day.  The same things over, over, and over again.  He promises to turn it off, but like a moth to a flame, half an hour later it's on again. 

I'm slowly losing my mind.

I feel for you.  My MIL and FIL retired a couple years ago.  FIL's health is bad, he's got CHF, Diabetes, 1 kidney, and weighs 400lbs.  All they do is sit home and watch TV.  16 hours a day.  He's basically immobile and can only manage to walk a couple minutes before needing to sit and recover.

It is awful.  I like MIL and she wanted to do so much in retirement, instead she sits by FIL while he watches TV and sleeps all day.  She won't go anywhere because she has to take care of his every need. 

I can't imagine working your whole life and then just saying fuck it I'm sitting in front of this TV every day until I die.  There is a whole world out there of things to see and do!

[AMandM]

My Korean friend was given a choice from her father when she graduated high school with me (in Canada)...  Go to university or "come home" (to Korea) and he would find a husband for her.  She was 18, and chose university, but I think went home after 2 years because she really was not interested in the degree, just in not getting married.

I had a Japanese classmate in university (back in the late 80s) who planned to return to Japan after graduation, where she would get a job as a secretary.  Her B.A. from a North American university would mean she'd be secretary to a high-up executive, not just some manager. Then her father would find her a husband.  I asked whether, having lived in Canada for a few years, she was happy with the idea of an arranged marriage.  She said, not at all.  Arranged marriage doesn't equal forced marriage; she would have the right to refuse any guy her father offered, and she thought her father would pick a better man than she would.  "I'd just go for whether he did stuff like buy me flowers, but my father will think about whether he'll support me ling-term and stick around."  We didn't stay in touch after graduation, so I don't know how it turned out.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

So now I'm thinking there is an amazing RomCom in this. Two Indian singles meet online, exchange photos, and plan to be each other's fake girlfriend/boyfriend for the holidays for the inquiring moms and aunties. After many hijinks, they actually meet and fall in love. The end.

And how about this: they each admit to their families, after the holidays are over, that the relationship was fake.  Then, once the relationship blossoms, they have to explain to their families a few weeks later that it isn't fake any more, and now their families won't believe them! :P

OK, who is friends with Mindy Kaling? She would be the perfect producer/writer/director/star of this project!

We could write the script collaboratively. I've got a bit of a vicious knack with words and can do decent dialogue.

[kaypinkHH]

I don’t understand the television as background noise thing. I find it incredibly stressful to have that noise going. When I visited my SIL and they had the television going all the time I found myself hiding in the guest room to escape it.

Mr. SP fully retired 2 years ago.  I'm pretty much living in our den (with doors!)  to escape the damn TV being on all day.  The same things over, over, and over again.  He promises to turn it off, but like a moth to a flame, half an hour later it's on again. 

I'm slowly losing my mind.

I feel for you.  My MIL and FIL retired a couple years ago.  FIL's health is bad, he's got CHF, Diabetes, 1 kidney, and weighs 400lbs.  All they do is sit home and watch TV.  16 hours a day.  He's basically immobile and can only manage to walk a couple minutes before needing to sit and recover.

It is awful.  I like MIL and she wanted to do so much in retirement, instead she sits by FIL while he watches TV and sleeps all day.  She won't go anywhere because she has to take care of his every need. 

I can't imagine working your whole life and then just saying fuck it I'm sitting in front of this TV every day until I die.  There is a whole world out there of things to see and do!

^^^ You just described my FIL. He is basically mobile enough to go the grocery store to continue to buy horrible food for his health. MIL decided to work part time in retirement, which I think she really enjoys, but she is the one bringing in her "fun income", and then FIL decides he needs a brand new computer when his old one works perfectly fine. :(.

[AlanStache]

So now I'm thinking there is an amazing RomCom in this. Two Indian singles meet online, exchange photos, and plan to be each other's fake girlfriend/boyfriend for the holidays for the inquiring moms and aunties. After many hijinks, they actually meet and fall in love. The end.

And how about this: they each admit to their families, after the holidays are over, that the relationship was fake.  Then, once the relationship blossoms, they have to explain to their families a few weeks later that it isn't fake any more, and now their families won't believe them! :P

OK, who is friends with Mindy Kaling? She would be the perfect producer/writer/director/star of this project!

We could write the script collaboratively. I've got a bit of a vicious knack with words and can do decent dialogue.

For some reason I think one of the aunts needs to be a bank robber.  This would get us a big song and dance number within a bank and some bollywood physics during a getaway chase. 

[shelivesthedream]

So now I'm thinking there is an amazing RomCom in this. Two Indian singles meet online, exchange photos, and plan to be each other's fake girlfriend/boyfriend for the holidays for the inquiring moms and aunties. After many hijinks, they actually meet and fall in love. The end.

And how about this: they each admit to their families, after the holidays are over, that the relationship was fake.  Then, once the relationship blossoms, they have to explain to their families a few weeks later that it isn't fake any more, and now their families won't believe them! :P

OK, who is friends with Mindy Kaling? She would be the perfect producer/writer/director/star of this project!

We could write the script collaboratively. I've got a bit of a vicious knack with words and can do decent dialogue.

For some reason I think one of the aunts needs to be a bank robber.  This would get us a big song and dance number within a bank and some bollywood physics during a getaway chase.

One of the aunts should be a baker specialising in super-extravagant wedding cakes, or maybe a high-end wedding caterer. There's a beautifully-shot dance scene with cooks and waiting staff swirling around each other in intricate patterns and culminating in a big pan out to the epic wedding she is cooking for. Probably one of the main characters works for her in some menial job in the evenings, so the aunt can pursue them round the kitchen berating and wheedling and the camera can follow them, weaving in and out of al the intense yet elegant cooking activity. And provides an excellent opportunity to move the story along in a "Look what a beautiful wedding you could have if you just got married!" dialogue-into-showbiz-number.

[Playing with Fire UK]

And at the end of the bank robbery chase scene someone can fall into a giant cake...?

[RetiredAt63]

Some of this reminds me of Bend it like Beckham.

You make the movie, I guarantee I will buy a ticket.

[ixtap]

Some of this reminds me of Bend it like Beckham.

You make the movie, I guarantee I will buy a ticket.

I will wait for Netflix, we are still on the MMM forums.