My quasi-adopted brother J has been "part of the family" for over 10 years. He's close with my mom and my brother (and was close with my deceased step-dad). We consider him and his wife A part of the family.
J did a stint in prison before we knew him, which affected his employability. At some point he went on disability, somewhat legitimately because of ongoing back surgeries (blah blah I don't know the details). He does dog training and odd jobs on the side. J and A got together in 2013 ish. Eventually he moved out of his parents' house (at age 40) and into her rented apartment. They bought a house together, got knocked up and married at the end of 2014. But since his income is limited/under the table, they bought the house on her salary alone. Modest 3 BR, nice yard for their 3 large dogs. Close to her work (10 minutes). As soon as A got pregnant they had to lease a top of the line minivan, in addition to their top of the line Ford Escape (which replaced a short-lived top-of-the-line Chevy Avalanche)......I can only imagine what their car payments must look like.
J has to have the newest iPhone the second it comes out. He has the Apple watch (not sure if he has upgraded). Baby 1 required a schmancy video system so they could live-stream him....sleeping in his crib? A reigns him in on a lot of things, she coupons and shops Aldi and has some good frugal bones. J's parents continue to subsidize his lifestyle (it's their 5th grandbaby, they only have 1 5th grandbaby). J also likes to go to Atlantic City and gamble.......
Fast forward to early 2017. A is knocked up again (on purpose). J gets in his head from his realtor best friend that they should buy a rental property with a down payment from J's parents. Somehow this morphs into J's parents buying a newer, bigger house for J and A and the babies and they'll rent out the modest appropriate 3 br house. In a town that has little industry and subsists on tourist income. But not in a tourist area. ("But J's parents helped buy J's older brother a house! They should also buy J a house!" meanwhile they're in their 70s and would rather be doing retiree things...)
New house is wayyyyyy bigger. (I saw it this weekend for baby 1's birthday). Also wayyyy further from A's work. Keep in mind, she is the salaried one with the health insurance. They just moved in last week, and A is due with baby 2 at the end of July. Obviously since the house is so much bigger, J's parents have to buy them more stuff!!! A fence for the pool! A dining room table! A fancy umbrella for their outdoor patio!
Nevermind that J bought his 2 year old a huge monstrosity Jeep toddler bed that the kid is too afraid to sleep in.
I walked around that house and I looked at one room and all I could think is "What is the purpose of this room?? that's the dining room over there, what is the functional purpose of this damn room?!?" (Baby playroom, natch).
New fancy house required J's parents to supply the down payment. They also must keep their old house rented out (and are probably barely breaking even). And her commute is too long to come home and see her baby/ies at lunch.
As I've watched this, I can't help but think that she's going to start hiding money from him so that she can divorce him and take the kids in a few years.
(Sidebar- when my stepdad died, J was the one who said he would come mow my mom's lawn at 2 in the morning if she needed it.....he is there for her even more than my own brother sometimes, but I'm thankful we're not ACTUALLY related because my family is much different with money).