I've mentioned my FIL in various threads before, but in summary he is an 83 year old debt addict who has managed to get himself financially cut-off from all family members throughout his lifetime. Last year he asked hubby and I to loan him $5k to help him pay down his high interest credit cards and P2P debt consolidation loans. We said no to that but attempted to help him cut back on some of his expenses (including TWO very expensive life insurance policies with a combined payout of only a couple thousand dollars). When he refused to make enough cutbacks to be able to afford his debt payments and living expenses on his $32k/year fixed income (which is coincidentally about what hubby and I spend each year), he then asked us to take out a home equity loan for $15k and give him the money, and he'd pay us back at $200/month. He was gravely offended when we said no because he thought we didn't trust him to pay us back. Dude, you're 83... even if you had impeccable financial management skills, the odds of you living long enough to pay us back are SLIM. Bankruptcy was not an option because not enough time had elapsed since his last bankruptcy.
Once we and his daughter both decided there would be no more financial handouts, he miraculously solved his own problem and found a debt relief agency that would work with the P2P lending places (he had previously said he couldn't find anyone that would do that), and also finally decided to start selling off some of the many antiques he has hoarded over his lifetime through an auction agency (previously he refused to sell anything at less than "book" value). So over the past few months he's been able to get caught up on bills and have a little extra money.
But he managed to get suckered in by some fraudsters who were debiting money from his account for a couple of months before he got it straightened out and got a new bank account (basically he signed up for a "free sample" and they enrolled him in some subscription service and charging his account every month). During that time his account had been overdrawn and he was freaking out over not having any money. Once that had been resolved he said to my husband that he now understood why he should have a separate savings account at a different bank and would get that set up once he got his tax refund and sold some more auction stuff.
So we just got back from a long weekend visit (thank you Chase Sapphire Reserve bonus). He was very excited to show us the new flat screen TV he'd bought with his tax refund so he could move the old flat screen TV into the bedroom to replace the old crappy TV in there. We also learned both his microwave and his oven are broken, so he complains about having to use his toaster oven which takes 45 minutes to heat up his frozen dinners. There don't seem to be any plans for fixing those. And of course there's no savings account yet.
Hubby found out from his sister that FIL was rather miffed that we chose to stay at a hotel this visit rather than stay with him. When we planned the trip in January, FIL was making all kinds of comments about how he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to stay in his condo because of his financial issues, and we were sending him grocery store gift cards to make sure he was eating. Somehow, imposing on him to put us up didn't seem appropriate, so that's why we chose a hotel. We didn't want him to feel bad, so we told him it was paid for with points/part of a package deal/basically free, but he apparently preferred to be offended.
Frankly, it's a good thing we did get the hotel because now that he has so much extra money to piss away, FIL has decided he should re-take up smoking his pipe (he had quit years ago after his bypass surgery). And since old people are apparently incapable of opening a window, the entire house is a smoky, haze-filled allergy trigger. We were only over there for a couple of hours at a stretch and every time left with burning eyes and throats and major congestion. Sleeping there would have been impossible. Shockingly, FIL has developed a rather nasty cough and chronic sniffles. He kept complaining about his allergies. Um, dude, maybe you're allergic to smoke??
Topic: Relatives who just don't get it (Read 3617013 times)