My mum is an intelligent woman and works as a Certified Financial Planner. 3 years ago, my fiance and I bought a cheap house that was in need of some TLC, which is why it was cheap. We've done quite a lot of work already and right now, we are almost done with the upstairs bathroom. Tomorrow the plumber will arrive to connect the new toilet (we didn't have one upstairs) and then it's done. I was excited about that and told my mum on the phone. Then she asked me what we still need to do, as she lives in a different city and doesn't visit a lot. We only have the kitchen and the (small) garden left, so we're nearly done.
Then she proceeded to tell me how it would be much better if we sold the home and bought another home that was already done up by someone else, so we didn't have to do "all that work". Well, first of all, we're nearly done. There's only about €10.000 of work left to do and in the short term, they're not necessary but cosmetic repairs. Secondly, we're in the middle of a huge housing boom, so it's generally a bad time to sell a cheap house and buy an expensive house. With her professional background, this is the most stupid advice she could possibly give. Thirdly, buying a comparable home completely fixed up by someone else could all in all cost us around €100.000 - house prices are at an all-time high and there are high additional costs to buying a house. And I didn't even include higher property taxes etc. Even when we would "just get a mortgage" that's a pretty huge waste of money for a house in the same neighbourhood with a more shiny kitchen, a fashionable floor and matching curtains throughout the house.
I told her this, and I don't want to get into an argument, but it really annoys me that someone with her education and professional background would dish out such stupid advice in their private life. I know she's good at her job and she would never recommend this to a client. She just keeps nagging about this because she just wants us to live in a different type of house and be different people. She feels like since we've doubled our income since we've bought this house, we should find a house that reflects our current level of wealth. She feels our house is a bit small at 800 square ft (3 bedrooms for 2 people, feels more than big enough for me) and I guess because she hopes she'll get grandchildren after all if we just have more bedrooms. She is very much aware that having children is not medically an option for us right now, but she brings it up all the time. She doesn't visit often, but when she does, she's always trying to get us out of the house to go shopping or to go to restaurants. She never does that when we visit her. It's like she hates being in this house at all, and it's not just me who thinks that. She sat next to my friend at my birthday and my friend later vented to my fiance about how much of a snob she thought my mum was ... (my friend is very polite and would never tell me, but my fiance told me).
I have tried to talk to her about this, but it's difficult because she just denies it. I try to ignore it when she says things like this, but it makes my blood boil. I just don't really get it because I wasn't raised like that and my mum has always lead a pretty simple life herself. She did move to another city when we were adults and she's in a different social circle now, full of people much wealthier than she is. Maybe they're a bit of a bad influence.
Topic: Relatives who just don't get it (Read 2921468 times)
