TGS, your relative hasn't sweated in life to understand the level of effort required to produce earnings. And to save after necessary expenses. That's a disconnect that may be far too late to be mended.
I have relatives and friends like this, where the husband works long hours to make the crazy money while the stay-at-home wife loves to dispense advice on life. The kids have flown the coop and idle time creates bullshit unsolicited advice.
I've been in that uncomfortable host position and you reminded me of this:
When Mrs. JingaNation and I purchased our house years back, an estate-sale, I was an entry-level engineer and she an entry-level accountant. We didn't have many possessions, we're simple, but hosted a New Year's Eve party for friends and family.
The never-employed wife of a hard-working friend decided to nit pick our house (we'd lived there 7 months by then) and told us we need to rehab our kitchen and bathrooms ASAP, get rid of the plantation shutters in the living room (which were good money and quality, paid for by the previous owner and blended well with the openness of that part of the house). I was asking why fix it when it ain't broke. We weren't in a position financially for this. Plus I was traveling constantly for work.
Just then, another friend decided to bang on the kitchen faucet repeatedly and his fiancee told him to stop, whereupon he replied that it can be fixed, as we're going to renovate. Then another friend bitched that all we had was a bookshelf sound system and not a 7.1 Dolby surround sound.
Right after midnight I wished everyone well and asked them to either go home, or a sleeping bag as we hadn't furnished the other 2 rooms. My friends finally got the message and apologized. Shit happens, people drink and say stupid things. New year, new lease on life, let it go, fuck it.
A week later the Mrs. and I decided to not host parties for folks who don't respect our property and lifestyle. All parties will henceforth end at sunset and will be outdoors to feed skeeters. We are the couple who enjoy exercise while they love to complain about exercise. In the years since, we've become good friends but we've gravitated to other groups of friends who's life philosophies are more in line with ours.
There's a rule my Dad taught me at a very young age, when I would have sleepovers at the homes of my cousins and friends: Never insult your host, be gracious and helpful so they enjoy your company and ask you to come again.
Some people weren't taught good manners. Some people believe manners are obtained automatically, "there's an app for that" mentality.