Relatives who just don't get it

[mtn]

How mtn sees soccer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJu2qSJ9zno

[Goldielocks]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

oh, laughing so much right now.   I can think of another game that description fits, too!

[Inaya]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

oh, laughing so much right now.   I can think of another game that description fits, too!

Sex?

[jinga nation]

it is worse to watch than baseball or golf, and I enjoy watching both of those.

Not to defend soccer, but if you're comparing it to two things you enjoy watching, of course it will be "worse to watch."

That doesn't detract from my point. I can't stand watching soccer. I don't want to have to watch it, and if my kid plays it, I'll have to watch it.

True.
I grew up playing soccer, rugby and field hockey. I still play when I can.

I can't stand to watch soccer anymore since I like to use my time effectively. For me, sports is about playing, not glued to the screen. I love NCAA Football, can't stand the NFL primadonna soap operas. But honestly, for any sport with commercials, I can't watch more than a few minutes. I'm lucky I have a local NHL team and my alma mater is local too, for both the cheap tickets fix my itch.

My comeuppance is on the way soon, kids will^* start playing it. My only 'hope and change' is that my girls continue with gymnastics. I will feel your pain. For all the bitchin' I do about why America hates soccer, if you can't beat 'em, then join 'em. I'm not going to coach, not going to be soccer dad. I'll be working out on the sidelines or working on my side business.

I think my problem for watching TV is that I hardly watch anything. If I do, it may be any of 8 local PBS channels. If not that, then recorded TV which is stripped of commercials. Otherwise, it's movies.

^*Because ze wife wants the kids to. Because fuck democracy in the house.

/rant

[jinga nation]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

oh, laughing so much right now.   I can think of another game that description fits, too!

Sex?

I believe Bedroom Golf^TM is the technical sporting term.

[JordanOfGilead]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

oh, laughing so much right now.   I can think of another game that description fits, too!

Sex?

I believe Bedroom Golf^TM is the technical sporting term.

I read this as "boredom golf" at first. I guess that applies too ...

[Just Joe]

Like tasty pinecone said,  you take the good with the bad. I can feel really good at how far I've come on my own and it's made me who i am.  My parents and I have a great relationship now that I'm older and haven't lived with them for over 10 years. I've accepted them for them ( still a work in progress). They didn't have it easy either.   It's interesting because I can trace back why they act certain ways through my grandparents and great grandparents.

Exactly. One set of grandparents were very much Mayberry RFD and the other set were very much a mess. I can see that mess in my one parent who was their child. The other parent - I don't think they really appreciate how laid back their Mayberry RFD parents were. I recognize that those grandparents were probably TOO laid back in some ways but my parent (their child) had a really, really easy time with them on most topics.

[Just Joe]

At least it keeps moving. That is vastly more entertaining than American football where you mostly watch fat man-boys in tights wander around on the sidelines waiting for a play to start. The action is over in 5 seconds and then we are back to commercials or spandex butt shots.

That describes what we call egg-ball or carry-ball or tackle-ball - perfectly. :)

I've seen some good football games in my time but they take a long time. Works best with friends, food and beer as part of the experience.

We've played and watched alot of soccer. The game MOVES like basketball. It also benefits from food, friends and beer.

I guess most things do... except "bedroom Golf"... Okay - it might for some people... ;)

[Inaya]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

oh, laughing so much right now.   I can think of another game that description fits, too!

Sex?

I believe Bedroom Golf^TM is the technical sporting term.

Not to be confused with Pocket Pool^TM.

[jinga nation]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

oh, laughing so much right now.   I can think of another game that description fits, too!

Sex?

I believe Bedroom Golf^TM is the technical sporting term.

Not to be confused with Pocket Pool^TM.

Master Bates is an expert at that sport.

[FIRE me]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

oh, laughing so much right now.   I can think of another game that description fits, too!

Sex?

I believe Bedroom Golf^TM is the technical sporting term.

Not to be confused with Pocket Pool^TM.

Master Bates is an expert at that sport.

I thought he was the fishing expert.

[AMandM]

If you have parents who don't make love or gifts conditional, I hope you are grateful for them every single day of your life.

My parents and my in-laws are both like this.  Thanks for the reminder to appreciate them, SLTD.

[Metric Mouse]

My wife and I worry what we'll do if our kids don't end up in either Hockey or Figure Skating. We fear that they'll want to play football, or worse, soccer. But yeah, the time commitment is enormous.

I don't understand the stigma of preventing your kids from playing a very mustachian sport. Wow!
'Murica, yeah!

We both hate soccer. Hated playing it, and hate watching it. Maybe if I could see it live on primetime I'd care, but it bores me to death--it is worse to watch than baseball or golf, and I enjoy watching both of those.

As it is, we both enjoy golf, baseball, hockey, figure skating, lacrosse, fishing, tennis, volleyball, and basketball... And only hockey and figure skating are really unmustachian from those (although any can be made to be unmustachian).

We just can't stand soccer.

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Ug. Hockey is a slow, boring thing to watch anyway. The fact that it's freezing cold only amplifies the argument that there are better things to do with one's time.

[MgoSam]

My wife and I worry what we'll do if our kids don't end up in either Hockey or Figure Skating. We fear that they'll want to play football, or worse, soccer. But yeah, the time commitment is enormous.

I don't understand the stigma of preventing your kids from playing a very mustachian sport. Wow!
'Murica, yeah!

We both hate soccer. Hated playing it, and hate watching it. Maybe if I could see it live on primetime I'd care, but it bores me to death--it is worse to watch than baseball or golf, and I enjoy watching both of those.

As it is, we both enjoy golf, baseball, hockey, figure skating, lacrosse, fishing, tennis, volleyball, and basketball... And only hockey and figure skating are really unmustachian from those (although any can be made to be unmustachian).

We just can't stand soccer.

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Ug. Hockey is a slow, boring thing to watch anyway. The fact that it's freezing cold only amplifies the argument that there are better things to do with one's time.

Have you been to a hockey game? I felt similarly until I went to my first match.

[Metric Mouse]

Have you been to a hockey game? I felt similarly until I went to my first match.

Several at the college/high school level. The over-priced beer didn't make up for the downsides.

I've found I much prefer to watch sports on television - none of the down time, you're much closer to the action, the bathrooms are cleaner and the booze is cheaper.  Even on television hockey is pretty meh.

[Linea_Norway]

I've found I much prefer to watch sports on television - none of the down time, you're much closer to the action, the bathrooms are cleaner and the booze is cheaper.  Even on television hockey is pretty meh.

I feel similar about cinema's. At home you can get cheap drinks and take a sanitary break when you need it. And you don't have to travel back and forth and pay for a parking ticket, which is in my town not free at night. And you don't hear people around you crunching popcorn. Buying a DVD on sale is also the same as the price of 1 single cinema ticket.

[BTDretire]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

 Except in hockey and soccer, you don't get to, "put that special object into the other team's receptacle". very often.

[mtn]

My wife and I worry what we'll do if our kids don't end up in either Hockey or Figure Skating. We fear that they'll want to play football, or worse, soccer. But yeah, the time commitment is enormous.

I don't understand the stigma of preventing your kids from playing a very mustachian sport. Wow!
'Murica, yeah!

We both hate soccer. Hated playing it, and hate watching it. Maybe if I could see it live on primetime I'd care, but it bores me to death--it is worse to watch than baseball or golf, and I enjoy watching both of those.

As it is, we both enjoy golf, baseball, hockey, figure skating, lacrosse, fishing, tennis, volleyball, and basketball... And only hockey and figure skating are really unmustachian from those (although any can be made to be unmustachian).

We just can't stand soccer.

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Ug. Hockey is a slow, boring thing to watch anyway. The fact that it's freezing cold only amplifies the argument that there are better things to do with one's time.

If hockey is slow, what is fast?

Sincerely curious. I guess you could say Tennis or Jai Lai in terms of terminal velocity of an object, but in terms of your "normal" team sports I don't think there is anything faster than hockey--shots are approaching 110; skaters as fast as 20mph, constantly moving the whole time....

[dandarc]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

 Except in hockey and soccer, you don't get to, "put that special object into the other team's receptacle". very often.

Makes it all the more special when it does happen.

[BDWW]

Just think of it as slow, boring hockey for countries that don't have ice.

Apt Description.  Hockey, soccer, basketball, water polo, handball, field hockey, lacrosse - all variations of the same fundamental game of "put a special object into the other team's receptacle".

 Except in hockey and soccer, you don't get to, "put that special object into the other team's receptacle". very often.

Makes it all the more special when it does happen.

Yeah, that argument has never made much sense to me. Really, just multiple the goals by 7 if you want to be more like football.  And don't even bother with basketball, you can skip the first three quarters because they usually don't matter.

[Dicey]

Couldn't you just hack that on/off switch? Arduino, little stepper motor to actuate the switch, a little programming, and boom - you have a programmable thermostat with no internal changes... ;)

Just make sure your program has hysteresis - otherwise you'll go on-off-on-off-on-off and burn out some expensive equipment.

Can you not just install a programmable thermostat? They're not that expensive. Tape it to the wall with that Command stuff if you want to remove it when you leave. Am I missing something? The payback in comfort alone could be huge, not to mention actual green soldiers saved.

[Step37]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

[Goldielocks]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

They can get moldy that way, the wrap is clear so it isn't about greening...  it can't be about people handling them and then eating them as is (why I see wrapped apples at the airport) because you cook them. 

If you cook them in that wrap, the baked potatoes would turn out poorly... even in microwave...

[gimp]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Does she not know that ten-pound bags are like $3? Did you inform her?

[Linea_Norway]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

They are probably wrapped for the same reason that peppers, squash and cauliflower are wrapped, to prevent then from people's hands and bacteria. Those vegetables didn't use to be wrapped when I was young and when we bought vegetables at the vegetable store. But now most vegetables are wrapped in plastic. In Norway the big baking-potatoes are sometimes sold while wrapped in silver foil. That way you can put them on the barbecue in the wrapping.

[zolotiyeruki]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

It has nothing to do with hygeine or anything like that.  It's there so that you can put a label and a price tag on an individual potato.

[jinga nation]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

It has nothing to do with hygeine or anything like that.  It's there so that you can put a label and a price tag on an individual potato.

Because.
Seriously, because people will buy.
How many ways can you sell a potato?
It's like the Arm & Hammer Baking Soda example that we studied in a college class.

[Silverwood]

What's the baking soda example?

I hate plastic on food. When you start realizing how much plastic is being used it's mind boggling. So much of it ends up in the ocean.  :( 

[threefive]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

It has nothing to do with hygeine or anything like that.  It's there so that you can put a label and a price tag on an individual potato.

I have actually bought a few of those wrapped potatoes in the past [ducks face punch]. They are marketed as being wrapped in plastic so that you can throw them in the microwave, plastic and all, and easily steam them in 8 minutes. But really, they are wrapped individually for exactly the reasons zolotiyeruki claims: a place for a label and the promise of convenience for those of us that never learned you can just as easily cook any potato in the microwave in about 8 minutes without silly plastic wrap.

[MgoSam]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

It has nothing to do with hygeine or anything like that.  It's there so that you can put a label and a price tag on an individual potato.

I have actually bought a few of those wrapped potatoes in the past [ducks face punch]. They are marketed as being wrapped in plastic so that you can throw them in the microwave, plastic and all, and easily steam them in 8 minutes. But really, they are wrapped individually for exactly the reasons zolotiyeruki claims: a place for a label and the promise of convenience for those of us that never learned you can just as easily cook any potato in the microwave in about 8 minutes without silly plastic wrap.

Plus sometimes you really just need a single potato. I can understand why grocery stores will charge insane amounts for small servings, I remember seeing in the summer that they were selling 1/4 watermelon cut for the same price as a whole watermelon, obviously trying to make some money off the lazy or people in a hurry to a BBQ and look for something healthy to bring.

Also, what's the baking soda example?

[mtn]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

It has nothing to do with hygeine or anything like that.  It's there so that you can put a label and a price tag on an individual potato.

I have actually bought a few of those wrapped potatoes in the past [ducks face punch]. They are marketed as being wrapped in plastic so that you can throw them in the microwave, plastic and all, and easily steam them in 8 minutes. But really, they are wrapped individually for exactly the reasons zolotiyeruki claims: a place for a label and the promise of convenience for those of us that never learned you can just as easily cook any potato in the microwave in about 8 minutes without silly plastic wrap.

Plus sometimes you really just need a single potato. I can understand why grocery stores will charge insane amounts for small servings, I remember seeing in the summer that they were selling 1/4 watermelon cut for the same price as a whole watermelon, obviously trying to make some money off the lazy or people in a hurry to a BBQ and look for something healthy to bring.

Thats the same reason I buy 1/2 gallons of milk--I no longer drink even the whole half gallon; even though it is a "worse deal" than the full gallon, I'm still throwing some away so I should buy the cheaper one.

The Potato one though, you can usually buy loose potatoes and they'll weigh them for you. They cost like $0.50 a pound. A single potato is about $0.25.

[cheapass]

They are marketed as being wrapped in plastic so that you can throw them in the microwave, plastic and all, and easily steam them in 8 minutes.

I'm pretty sure microwaving food in cheap plastic is probably not the best thing to do from an "avoiding cancer" standpoint.

[Goldielocks]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

They are probably wrapped for the same reason that peppers, squash and cauliflower are wrapped, to prevent then from people's hands and bacteria. Those vegetables didn't use to be wrapped when I was young and when we bought vegetables at the vegetable store. But now most vegetables are wrapped in plastic. In Norway the big baking-potatoes are sometimes sold while wrapped in silver foil. That way you can put them on the barbecue in the wrapping.

But. but. but.  People don't eat raw potatoes, do they?   

They came from the GROUND...  lots of native bacteria there... which is why we wash and / or cook?

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

Not sure if serious? We eat raw carrots...

[Goldielocks]

Not sure if serious? We eat raw carrots...

But do you eat raw POTATOES?!

[BlueHouse]

 the reason I can is cause I don't.

Good quote.  Clear, concise.  perfect. 

[BDWW]

Not sure if serious? We eat raw carrots...

But do you eat raw POTATOES?!

I was a bit of handful when I was a child(probably 6/7?), so I got sent to bed without supper a number of times. The pantry was next to my room though, so I'd sneak potatoes. Of course, the taste is less than desirable, so I'd only get about halfway through, and hide the rest under the bed. Then one day my mom decided to help me clean the room, and found about ten half eaten potatoes under the bed!

[Goldielocks]

Not sure if serious? We eat raw carrots...

But do you eat raw POTATOES?!

I was a bit of handful when I was a child(probably 6/7?), so I got sent to bed without supper a number of times. The pantry was next to my room though, so I'd sneak potatoes. Of course, the taste is less than desirable, so I'd only get about halfway through, and hide the rest under the bed. Then one day my mom decided to help me clean the room, and found about ten half eaten potatoes under the bed!

BDWW -- your mom has my permission to buy wrapped potatoes.
..
I eat raw potatoes, sometimes, too, but it is only like a cube while I cut them up for boiling -- after I have washed and peeled them.  But the waste in plastic wrapping potatoes for normal people?  The spoilage acceleration alone would be expensive.

[Joggernot]

Not sure if serious? We eat raw carrots...

But do you eat raw POTATOES?!

Yes.  I do wash them, but sometimes eat them raw.  I'm 71 and still alive and I've done it all my life.  Might be the secret of longevity... :)

[merula]

Raw potato answer: Probably OK, if you like that sort of thing. (http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/sdut-1f5focusm195324-pros-and-cons-munching-raw-potatoe-2009aug05-story.html)

Baking soda answer: The story goes that Arm & Hammer was having trouble with stagnant sales. It wasn't brand recognition or reaching new customers; everyone know A&H baking soda, most people have a box in their pantry and it's found in virtually every grocery store. The root problem was that virtually no one used very much baking soda. A teaspoon here and there, maybe more around Christmas.

"AH! But wait! Baking soda deodorizes! Refrigerators get smelly! We can tell everyone to put an open box of baking soda in their fridge to prevent odors, and we'll double our sales!"

And the tactic worked! Only  once virtually everyone had a box in their fridge, sales dropped again. Cue recommendations that you need one in your freezer compartment, too, and then that you need to replace it every 3 months. They even added a date box to the package to help you keep track of when you needed to buy a new box.

And, in the end, we all bought way more baking soda than we really needed.

[Step37]

My sister does not have the mustachian gene. Until last week's visit, I was (blissfully) unaware that it was possible to purchase individually plastic-wrapped potatoes for $1 each. *cringe*

Why are they wrapped? 

It has nothing to do with hygeine or anything like that.  It's there so that you can put a label and a price tag on an individual potato.

I have actually bought a few of those wrapped potatoes in the past [ducks face punch]. They are marketed as being wrapped in plastic so that you can throw them in the microwave, plastic and all, and easily steam them in 8 minutes. But really, they are wrapped individually for exactly the reasons zolotiyeruki claims: a place for a label and the promise of convenience for those of us that never learned you can just as easily cook any potato in the microwave in about 8 minutes without silly plastic wrap.

Plus sometimes you really just need a single potato. I can understand why grocery stores will charge insane amounts for small servings, I remember seeing in the summer that they were selling 1/4 watermelon cut for the same price as a whole watermelon, obviously trying to make some money off the lazy or people in a hurry to a BBQ and look for something healthy to bring.

Thats the same reason I buy 1/2 gallons of milk--I no longer drink even the whole half gallon; even though it is a "worse deal" than the full gallon, I'm still throwing some away so I should buy the cheaper one.

The Potato one though, you can usually buy loose potatoes and they'll weigh them for you. They cost like $0.50 a pound. A single potato is about $0.25.

All of the above... I just thought the $1 plastic-wrapped potato was an absolutely perfect encapsulation of sister/BIL's exploding volcano of wasteful spending/living. Now, if they were on solid financial ground with lots of savings and no financial stress (and didn't owe me 15K and other relatives far more) I would just shake my head at the environmental horror of it all. In their eyes it's an income problem; however, it is at least 95% a spending problem. When they find a buyer for their property (hopefully this year!), they will be free and clear with a decent chunk of money left (that most any mustachian could early retire on quite comfortably). My fear is that they will not be prudent with that cash and end up destitute within ten years (when they're in their early fifties).

I try not to say too much, because it is not well received. I recommended she read Dave Ramsey after a tearful request for a loan increase a year ago -- NOT happening (the loan, not sure if she did the reading) -- and have forwarded a couple of MMM articles (cutting grocery bill for one). The best I can do is lead by example the few times a year that I see them. It hurts my head to watch intelligent, kind people continue to make the horrible spending choices that they do. There have been a couple of small improvements, but they really need to do a 180. I will gladly be a fountain of wisdom for them, but they need to be ready to hear it and make the changes.

Thanks for listening! I have read through several threads on here about people trying to help relatives, and there is a lot of good advice. This is a great group of people.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

Not sure if serious? We eat raw carrots...

But do you eat raw POTATOES?!

Yes.  I do wash them, but sometimes eat them raw.  I'm 71 and still alive and I've done it all my life.  Might be the secret of longevity... :)

My ex-girlfriend was a fiend for raw baby potatoes. She'd snack on them. If I was wanting to make some up for dinner I'd have to buy two bags: one to cook, and one for her to nosh on.

[jinga nation]

The baking soda example.... Had a case study very similar to this one, I was in college at the same time.
http://financecasestudy.blogspot.com/2009/04/arm-hammer-1998-poised-for-growth.html

Arm & Hammer Baking Soda was synonymous with very few uses, as most people could only think it was for baking and keeping in your fridge. Most of my classmates and I didn't realize that the biggest strength of the product is odor removal. The company capitalized on this simple ingredient's number one capability to branch into various product categories.

Back to the humble potato, I saw an amazing recipe for Frosted Meatloaf.
https://www.cookscountry.com/recipes/7734-frosted-meatloaf?ref=videos_related_content_2

[Sibley]

Raw potato answer: Probably OK, if you like that sort of thing. (http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/sdut-1f5focusm195324-pros-and-cons-munching-raw-potatoe-2009aug05-story.html)

Baking soda answer: The story goes that Arm & Hammer was having trouble with stagnant sales. It wasn't brand recognition or reaching new customers; everyone know A&H baking soda, most people have a box in their pantry and it's found in virtually every grocery store. The root problem was that virtually no one used very much baking soda. A teaspoon here and there, maybe more around Christmas.

"AH! But wait! Baking soda deodorizes! Refrigerators get smelly! We can tell everyone to put an open box of baking soda in their fridge to prevent odors, and we'll double our sales!"

And the tactic worked! Only  once virtually everyone had a box in their fridge, sales dropped again. Cue recommendations that you need one in your freezer compartment, too, and then that you need to replace it every 3 months. They even added a date box to the package to help you keep track of when you needed to buy a new box.

And, in the end, we all bought way more baking soda than we really needed.

So keeping a box of baking soda in the fridge indefinitely is fine? My record is 6 years. Excellent.

[Just Joe]

Nothing new in this topic but I got another vibe today that my parents think we are either stingy, wasteful (and thus broke), lazy (and thus broke, that one got to me) or denying our children nicer things - because we make frugal choices. Hopefully I'm wrong.

...because our don't demonstrate our prosperity with what we buy, we must be poor...

Note to the world - we're doing fine. DW and I are parents who have worked hard to guarantee a roof over our family's heads and we are trying hard not to raise consumerist children who think their happiness hinge on what they buy on frequent shopping trips. Its working.

Apparently frugality is not well received or understood by our out of town family - but I guess we knew that.

Just here to vent. I'm done.

[Playing with Fire UK]

Nothing new in this topic but I got another vibe today that my parents think we are either stingy, wasteful (and thus broke), lazy (and thus broke, that one got to me) or denying our children nicer things - because we make frugal choices. Hopefully I'm wrong.
...
Note to the world - we're doing fine. DW and I are parents who have worked hard to guarantee a roof over our family's heads and we are trying hard not to raise consumerist children who think their happiness hinge on what they buy on frequent shopping trips. Its working.

Tasty Pinecones, it sounds like you are doing great. You are not lazy, you are doing a far more difficult and worthwhile thing. You are not stingy, you are giving your children a gift that is incredibly valuable and that no money can buy.

Keep being awesome!

[Linea_Norway]

Nothing new in this topic but I got another vibe today that my parents think we are either stingy, wasteful (and thus broke), lazy (and thus broke, that one got to me) or denying our children nicer things - because we make frugal choices. Hopefully I'm wrong.

...because our don't demonstrate our prosperity with what we buy, we must be poor...

Note to the world - we're doing fine. DW and I are parents who have worked hard to guarantee a roof over our family's heads and we are trying hard not to raise consumerist children who think their happiness hinge on what they buy on frequent shopping trips. Its working.

Apparently frugality is not well received or understood by our out of town family - but I guess we knew that.

Just here to vent. I'm done.

I often notice the difference between my nephews. My brother's 2 children are drowning in a big pile of expensive toys. Yes, they seem happy to play with it. But one year they got 3! fire trucks for Christmas. I'm pretty sure 1 would have given the same amount of joy.
My brother in law's child does not receive expensive gifts. He seems happy playing with simple things.

Yes, I think parents can form their children by what they buy them. I expect my BIL's son to turn into a nicer child in matters of materialistic needs.

[merula]

So keeping a box of baking soda in the fridge indefinitely is fine? My record is 6 years. Excellent.

You probably don't need it there anyway, but if you've already bought it, just don't replace it.

[Kitsune]

But one year they got 3! fire trucks for Christmas. I'm pretty sure 1 would have given the same amount of joy.
My brother in law's child does not receive expensive gifts. He seems happy playing with simple things.

Yes, I think parents can form their children by what they buy them. I expect my BIL's son to turn into a nicer child in matters of materialistic needs.

Well, then you need a bigger house to store all the toys, right? ;)

(Speaking as a parent, I don't want to be tripping over 3 fire trucks, and would rather limit the clutter. Also, I've found children have a hard time focussing on what they're playing with when surrounded by too many toys. My toddler does MUCH better when her options are 'play kitchen and doll, or else building blocks in the basket' and the other toys are tucked away in the closet. And then we'll rotate out the building blocks for the toy farm or whatever, to great delight, but if it's all out she can't focus and makes a big mess and gets frazzled and everything is more difficult for all of us. Limited toys = maximized happiness for ALL family members.)

[Just Joe]

Truly some of our kids' favorite toys have been a box, some string and a stick (when they were younger). ;)

Even now when they are older - they still are drawn to activities where they make something or are actively moving around.

In our case my parents are so self-involved that they really don't know our kids very well anymore. I recommended to my parents to come and spend time with our kids that they said they miss so much but that was not well received (as expected):

"Well, we've been waiting for an invitation!"

Meanwhile we invite them constantly. Every time we see them. Always excuses. What it boils down to is the grandparents always want our kids at their house, on their turf, where they can set the rules. Our kids feel stifled and captive. This goes right along with other parts the GPs personalities which have controlling tendencies.

Our kids at their house are not the same as our kids in their own home surrounded by their own things. They have things they would prob like to share with their GPs if there was more of a relationship there. I don't discuss this topic much with the GPs b/c just like the last time I saw them - it always gets turned around so its something solely our fault which isn't true by a long shot.