Author Topic: Relatives who just don't get it  (Read 3478327 times)

mtn

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1000 on: February 08, 2016, 01:38:29 PM »
I suppose it should be mentioned that having grown up in Chicagoland and living in Chicago now, I'm pretty picky with my pizza. (No, I'm not talking about deep dish either--completely different conversation)

They can keep that disgusting Chicago deep dish stuff in Chiraq, haha.

"New york style" is the only proper way to do a pizza imo.

Well, I mean I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

(FWIW, while I LOVE deep dish, it is not what I or even probably 95% of Chicagoans get when they get pizza--Chicago Style Thin Crust is the go-to)

Hunny156

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1001 on: February 08, 2016, 02:02:09 PM »
I suppose it should be mentioned that having grown up in Chicagoland and living in Chicago now, I'm pretty picky with my pizza. (No, I'm not talking about deep dish either--completely different conversation)

They can keep that disgusting Chicago deep dish stuff in Chiraq, haha.

"New york style" is the only proper way to do a pizza imo.

Well, I mean I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

(FWIW, while I LOVE deep dish, it is not what I or even probably 95% of Chicagoans get when they get pizza--Chicago Style Thin Crust is the go-to)

Adding to the foam here, but so grateful that there are people out there that get it.  Dad was literally off the boat from Italy, and he made his living by working at, and eventually owning, several pizzerias in NYC.  So I am admittedly a pizza snob.  I am fortunate here in Central TX, where we actually have several places that do pizza rather well.  They all are transplants from NY or NJ.

Most of my friends here simply do not understand pizza.  At a Super Bowl party yesterday, where there was some nastiness parading around as pizza, some people expressed shock that we do not like Domino's or Papa John's.  "It's good stuff, we will blindfold you and make you eat it, you'll see!"  I told them it's acceptable at 2 AM and when heavily intoxicated, but that's about it.  As for the blindfold taste test, I told them I didn't even need to eat it.  I could tell my touch that it's garbage.  Agree to disagree, until/if you have had the real thing, it's just not something you can comprehend.

And while I'm a NY-style pizza girl at heart, I do have respect for a real Chicago pie, whether it be deep dish or thin crust.  It's the crap that passes as any of these that bring out my pizza snobbery.  ;)

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1002 on: February 08, 2016, 02:12:20 PM »
Well, I mean I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

(FWIW, while I LOVE deep dish, it is not what I or even probably 95% of Chicagoans get when they get pizza--Chicago Style Thin Crust is the go-to)

Well add this to the list next time I'm in Chicago.

Anywhere you would recommend? People used to always tell me go to Gordinos (sp?) for the deep dish but it just wasn't my cup of tea.

mtn

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1003 on: February 08, 2016, 02:26:21 PM »
Well, I mean I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

(FWIW, while I LOVE deep dish, it is not what I or even probably 95% of Chicagoans get when they get pizza--Chicago Style Thin Crust is the go-to)

Well add this to the list next time I'm in Chicago.

Anywhere you would recommend? People used to always tell me go to Gordinos (sp?) for the deep dish but it just wasn't my cup of tea.

Depends on where you are in the city. I like Romano's in Des Plaines Rosemont (near O'Hare) the best, but it isn't the greatest setting. Aurelio's is a chain mostly in the south and western suburbs, they're a fairly unique take on it but extremely tasty--most of them are not sit in restaurants though, and supposedly the quality varies from restaurant to restaurant--I've only eaten at 2, both were very good. Vito and Nick's is really good, but the wait is pretty long a lot of the time.

Most suburbs and neighborhoods are going to have a good spot or 4--I have 2 within a five minute walk of my apartment; the suburb I grew up in had 5 decent places, my wife's hometown has about 3 or 4 good spots... I usually yelp it and look at the pictures and read the reviews to decide. None of the places are really going to be well known outside of the area.

http://s3-media2.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/O72I79YotglcnjPeuYiU9A/o.jpg
http://s3-media3.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/XGs_Qz5Jat9IbkROAxKaQQ/o.jpg
http://s3-media1.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/Hbg4goqsWRTQ6VERQKuXwA/o.jpg

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1004 on: February 08, 2016, 02:46:30 PM »
I don't know why but I really don't enjoy Chicago pizza. I suspect that it's because I have such a good memory of the first time I had it while a junior in high school that nothing can ever compare.

dandarc

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1005 on: February 08, 2016, 03:30:10 PM »
I don't know why but I really don't enjoy Chicago pizza. I suspect that it's because I have such a good memory of the first time I had it while a junior in high school that nothing can ever compare.
Not pizza related at all, but had a very similar experience at BD's in Ann Arbor recently.  Just not anywhere near as good or fun as I recall from that high-school field trip back in the late '90s.

Joggernot

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1006 on: February 08, 2016, 05:39:20 PM »
Yeah but it's a non-standard size, so normal covers don't fit. Bleh.
We have a woman in town who advertises that she makes slipcovers!  When the need arises, we intend to have her make some for our older couches.  Maybe there is someone in your town who will make you one?  Our town is only 5,000 people.

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1007 on: February 08, 2016, 07:49:54 PM »
I don't know why but I really don't enjoy Chicago pizza. I suspect that it's because I have such a good memory of the first time I had it while a junior in high school that nothing can ever compare.
Not pizza related at all, but had a very similar experience at BD's in Ann Arbor recently.  Just not anywhere near as good or fun as I recall from that high-school field trip back in the late '90s.

Ahh BD's...., that brings back memories. My junior year, I went there with a female friend of my cousin's. I recall that she had been trash talking about how much she can eat when she is famished, and so we had a "competition" by going to BD's. It was only later that I discovered that she thought I was taking her out for dinner. In my defense, I wasn't flirting with her prior, and there was no way I could have known.

Cressida

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1008 on: February 08, 2016, 07:57:10 PM »
(cats scratched the hell out of the couches, and we're not getting them reupholstered until we no longer have cats)

Oh man, I have so many items like this. Couch, chair, rugs, bedspreads ...

former player

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1009 on: February 09, 2016, 01:36:28 AM »
I just promised not to get euthanized if I ever get bored of retirement and just left it at that.

Quoted for the win.

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1010 on: February 09, 2016, 06:45:03 AM »
Yeah but it's a non-standard size, so normal covers don't fit. Bleh.
Hell, you could buy a sewing machine and enough of whatever fabric you wanted to learn to sew and make a slip cover for that price.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1011 on: February 09, 2016, 06:57:24 AM »
Yeah but it's a non-standard size, so normal covers don't fit. Bleh.
Hell, you could buy a sewing machine and enough of whatever fabric you wanted to learn to sew and make a slip cover for that price.

My couch slipcover is a canvas painter's dropcloth. Dogs make it dirty, goes in the wash.

rockstache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1012 on: February 09, 2016, 08:38:54 AM »

Yeah but it's a non-standard size, so normal covers don't fit. Bleh.
Hell, you could buy a sewing machine and enough of whatever fabric you wanted to learn to sew and make a slip cover for that price.

True. But I have no desire to learn to sew.

Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1013 on: February 09, 2016, 08:41:45 AM »
My cousin joyfully explained to me this week that she'll be getting a credit card to build credit -- I said great! Just be sure to pay it off religiously every month!

She then explained that one should always carry a balance of around 1/3 of their limit because otherwise there "isn't any money there to build credit."

Explain it to her!  Also explain to her that she will lose buckets of money by carrying a balance...

I have mine set up to pay in full from my checking each month on the due date.  This took a long call to the credit card company
Rep: "How much did you want to pay per month?  The minimum?"
Me: "In full."
Rep: "In full up to $400?"
Me: "The total balance due, even if it's really high."
Rep: "Umm, okay.  Entire balance.  I don't think I've ever had anyone want that before.  Make sure to check the text on your next statement to see if it went through all right."

I know the automatic payment would cause some to ignore the bills and overspend, but it is a great boon to me.

Isn't that a great feeling to be ABLE to do that? We paid for braces in full. The dental assistant started giving the payment plan speech when I interrupted her. Her eyes got wide for a moment. Must not happen that often?

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1014 on: February 09, 2016, 09:01:23 AM »
My cousin joyfully explained to me this week that she'll be getting a credit card to build credit -- I said great! Just be sure to pay it off religiously every month!

She then explained that one should always carry a balance of around 1/3 of their limit because otherwise there "isn't any money there to build credit."

Explain it to her!  Also explain to her that she will lose buckets of money by carrying a balance...

I have mine set up to pay in full from my checking each month on the due date.  This took a long call to the credit card company
Rep: "How much did you want to pay per month?  The minimum?"
Me: "In full."
Rep: "In full up to $400?"
Me: "The total balance due, even if it's really high."
Rep: "Umm, okay.  Entire balance.  I don't think I've ever had anyone want that before.  Make sure to check the text on your next statement to see if it went through all right."

I know the automatic payment would cause some to ignore the bills and overspend, but it is a great boon to me.

Isn't that a great feeling to be ABLE to do that? We paid for braces in full. The dental assistant started giving the payment plan speech when I interrupted her. Her eyes got wide for a moment. Must not happen that often?

I did that at the orthodontist's office in December when we went to get braces for my daughter. Got a decent discount for paying in full, too. I suspect they build some financing fees into their price structure, in order to be able to stretch payments out over several months or years. But you're right about the googly eyes among the staff.

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1015 on: February 09, 2016, 09:04:25 AM »
My cousin joyfully explained to me this week that she'll be getting a credit card to build credit -- I said great! Just be sure to pay it off religiously every month!

She then explained that one should always carry a balance of around 1/3 of their limit because otherwise there "isn't any money there to build credit."

Explain it to her!  Also explain to her that she will lose buckets of money by carrying a balance...

I have mine set up to pay in full from my checking each month on the due date.  This took a long call to the credit card company
Rep: "How much did you want to pay per month?  The minimum?"
Me: "In full."
Rep: "In full up to $400?"
Me: "The total balance due, even if it's really high."
Rep: "Umm, okay.  Entire balance.  I don't think I've ever had anyone want that before.  Make sure to check the text on your next statement to see if it went through all right."

I know the automatic payment would cause some to ignore the bills and overspend, but it is a great boon to me.

Isn't that a great feeling to be ABLE to do that? We paid for braces in full. The dental assistant started giving the payment plan speech when I interrupted her. Her eyes got wide for a moment. Must not happen that often?

I did that at the orthodontist's office in December when we went to get braces for my daughter. Got a decent discount for paying in full, too. I suspect they build some financing fees into their price structure, in order to be able to stretch payments out over several months or years. But you're right about the googly eyes among the staff.

An early eye-opening experience as to the power of having money at your disposal was when I was 13 and getting braces. My mom got a quote, and then asked, "How much if we pay in cash?" The number they gave was noticeably less. When we left my mom said, "That's why it's important to save up and have a cushion, and also to pay for things up front instead of taking a loan."

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1016 on: February 09, 2016, 09:18:52 AM »

Yeah but it's a non-standard size, so normal covers don't fit. Bleh.
Hell, you could buy a sewing machine and enough of whatever fabric you wanted to learn to sew and make a slip cover for that price.

True. But I have no desire to learn to sew.
Takes about 15 minutes to learn the basics and is an extremely useful skill. Saves a lot of money, and can be used to make gifts for friends and family (I made my girlfriend a teddy bear in high school using my grandmother's sewing machine).

rockstache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1017 on: February 09, 2016, 09:48:14 AM »

Yeah but it's a non-standard size, so normal covers don't fit. Bleh.
Hell, you could buy a sewing machine and enough of whatever fabric you wanted to learn to sew and make a slip cover for that price.

True. But I have no desire to learn to sew.
Takes about 15 minutes to learn the basics and is an extremely useful skill. Saves a lot of money, and can be used to make gifts for friends and family (I made my girlfriend a teddy bear in high school using my grandmother's sewing machine).

If I said it was a time constraint, I would be lying. I just really really hate crafting/making things. I'm impressed by people that enjoy it, I just don't. I can sew a button/stitch a rip with needle and thread. I'm not going any further than that though because I hate it. 

Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1018 on: February 09, 2016, 09:49:16 AM »
My cousin joyfully explained to me this week that she'll be getting a credit card to build credit -- I said great! Just be sure to pay it off religiously every month!

She then explained that one should always carry a balance of around 1/3 of their limit because otherwise there "isn't any money there to build credit."

Explain it to her!  Also explain to her that she will lose buckets of money by carrying a balance...

I have mine set up to pay in full from my checking each month on the due date.  This took a long call to the credit card company
Rep: "How much did you want to pay per month?  The minimum?"
Me: "In full."
Rep: "In full up to $400?"
Me: "The total balance due, even if it's really high."
Rep: "Umm, okay.  Entire balance.  I don't think I've ever had anyone want that before.  Make sure to check the text on your next statement to see if it went through all right."

I know the automatic payment would cause some to ignore the bills and overspend, but it is a great boon to me.

Isn't that a great feeling to be ABLE to do that? We paid for braces in full. The dental assistant started giving the payment plan speech when I interrupted her. Her eyes got wide for a moment. Must not happen that often?

I did that at the orthodontist's office in December when we went to get braces for my daughter. Got a decent discount for paying in full, too. I suspect they build some financing fees into their price structure, in order to be able to stretch payments out over several months or years. But you're right about the googly eyes among the staff.

An early eye-opening experience as to the power of having money at your disposal was when I was 13 and getting braces. My mom got a quote, and then asked, "How much if we pay in cash?" The number they gave was noticeably less. When we left my mom said, "That's why it's important to save up and have a cushion, and also to pay for things up front instead of taking a loan."

Sometimes I wonder if how we present ourselves to other people (vibes - call it what you want) changes for the better for us when we can take care of ourselves.

Pretty flimsy notion I agree. Lack of desperation? Confidence? Maybe I'm full of it and it's just because we have enough grey hair that store clerks assume we are old enough to be their parents??? Don't know.

Recently had a Sears clerk jump multiple hurdles for us on a purchase for example. Felt like I should have tipped her for all the hard work. One of several "nice things" people have done for us recently.

Maybe it's "our turn" for a day or two more. ;)

Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1019 on: February 09, 2016, 09:52:44 AM »
If I said it was a time constraint, I would be lying. I just really really hate crafting/making things. I'm impressed by people that enjoy it, I just don't. I can sew a button/stitch a rip with needle and thread. I'm not going any further than that though because I hate it.

Guess we all have those things we avoid doing b/c it isn't ever fun. For me that can be cooking.

I just hate being inept and unable to do a good job at some craft or task. Its not fun for me until I've been practicing for a while.

That stunts my motivation to take up a new craft sometimes. Irritating to not be good at something b/c I just started learning. Wish that buzz that comes from learning new things would override that frustration.

;)
« Last Edit: February 09, 2016, 09:54:17 AM by Jethrosnose »

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1020 on: February 09, 2016, 10:09:29 AM »

Recently had a Sears clerk jump multiple hurdles for us on a purchase for example. Felt like I should have tipped her for all the hard work. One of several "nice things" people have done for us recently.


Definitely encourage you to pay it forward, if for no other reason that you might make someone's day a little brighter (and perhaps your own). For the Sears clerk, don't know if she would accept a tip, but I would recommend that you praise her to a supervisor, to corporate, or anyone that could benefit her.

Gondolin

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1021 on: February 09, 2016, 10:11:17 AM »
Not to derail the foam but, I always knew the day would come when would have to make this post.

My aunt recently turned 60 and has been complaining non-stop for the past 2 years about how sick she is of her job and how desperate she is move to Florida. For the past 20 years, auntie has had a VERY high travel, high stress job (~25 international trips and ~100 domestic ones per year) as the point-person for the maintenance of some critical networks. I always knew she was well compensated for all the sacrifice her job required since she:

-Lives ALONE in a 3000 (4000?) sq. ft. 5-bedroom McMansion she had built
-Said house is stuffed with STUFF (not hoarder level - just the usual furniture, nick-nacks, hundreds of pieces of clothes, scuba equipment, etc.)
-Keeps two large dogs (easily 10K a year in kenneling/dog watching expenses since she's on the road 6-7 months of the year)
-Owns a 40 ft boat that's really too large for her to handle herself

I thought she was making ~200K a year and spending it all. Yesterday she let slip that she's making over $450K. Even if on average she made "only" $250k for the last 20 years, that's $5M in income and she probably has a negative network.

Until recently, my family has been fine with all this, it's her life after all. This last year though she's gone on and on about moving to Florida and downshifting to a less stressful job - which she could easily do if she sold 85% of her stuff and found a nice two bed room on the water. Initially, that was her plan...two years later and now she's looking at 4bd houses and talking about how it'll "only" be 8-12K to ship all her (worthless) furniture down from Boston.

It's so frustrating being able to see how easily she could change her life and she just WON'T DO IT.
« Last Edit: February 09, 2016, 10:13:00 AM by Gondolin »

Apples

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1022 on: February 09, 2016, 01:23:22 PM »
My cousin joyfully explained to me this week that she'll be getting a credit card to build credit -- I said great! Just be sure to pay it off religiously every month!

She then explained that one should always carry a balance of around 1/3 of their limit because otherwise there "isn't any money there to build credit."

Explain it to her!  Also explain to her that she will lose buckets of money by carrying a balance...

I have mine set up to pay in full from my checking each month on the due date.  This took a long call to the credit card company
Rep: "How much did you want to pay per month?  The minimum?"
Me: "In full."
Rep: "In full up to $400?"
Me: "The total balance due, even if it's really high."
Rep: "Umm, okay.  Entire balance.  I don't think I've ever had anyone want that before.  Make sure to check the text on your next statement to see if it went through all right."

I know the automatic payment would cause some to ignore the bills and overspend, but it is a great boon to me.

Isn't that a great feeling to be ABLE to do that? We paid for braces in full. The dental assistant started giving the payment plan speech when I interrupted her. Her eyes got wide for a moment. Must not happen that often?

I did that at the orthodontist's office in December when we went to get braces for my daughter. Got a decent discount for paying in full, too. I suspect they build some financing fees into their price structure, in order to be able to stretch payments out over several months or years. But you're right about the googly eyes among the staff.

An early eye-opening experience as to the power of having money at your disposal was when I was 13 and getting braces. My mom got a quote, and then asked, "How much if we pay in cash?" The number they gave was noticeably less. When we left my mom said, "That's why it's important to save up and have a cushion, and also to pay for things up front instead of taking a loan."

+1.  At 14/15, this experience was the first time I "got it".  I had a savings account growing up, and had learned to save babysitting money, and my parents had given us those "teachable moments" about needing to save and always have cash on hand in case something happens.  And then my mom could pay a 4-digit bill at once, for a discount, at the orthodontist's office.  Mind. Blown.  Especially as I was the last of my friend circle to get braces (thanks baby teeth hanging out forever), and had previously heard about payment plans and such.

coolistdude

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1023 on: February 09, 2016, 01:28:47 PM »
Not to derail the foam but, I always knew the day would come when would have to make this post.

My aunt recently turned 60 and has been complaining non-stop for the past 2 years about how sick she is of her job and how desperate she is move to Florida. For the past 20 years, auntie has had a VERY high travel, high stress job (~25 international trips and ~100 domestic ones per year) as the point-person for the maintenance of some critical networks. I always knew she was well compensated for all the sacrifice her job required since she:

-Lives ALONE in a 3000 (4000?) sq. ft. 5-bedroom McMansion she had built
-Said house is stuffed with STUFF (not hoarder level - just the usual furniture, nick-nacks, hundreds of pieces of clothes, scuba equipment, etc.)
-Keeps two large dogs (easily 10K a year in kenneling/dog watching expenses since she's on the road 6-7 months of the year)
-Owns a 40 ft boat that's really too large for her to handle herself

I thought she was making ~200K a year and spending it all. Yesterday she let slip that she's making over $450K. Even if on average she made "only" $250k for the last 20 years, that's $5M in income and she probably has a negative network.

Until recently, my family has been fine with all this, it's her life after all. This last year though she's gone on and on about moving to Florida and downshifting to a less stressful job - which she could easily do if she sold 85% of her stuff and found a nice two bed room on the water. Initially, that was her plan...two years later and now she's looking at 4bd houses and talking about how it'll "only" be 8-12K to ship all her (worthless) furniture down from Boston.

It's so frustrating being able to see how easily she could change her life and she just WON'T DO IT.

Sounds like the SIL/BIL I have. SIL rents a three bedroom house all to herself and tiny dog (no kids). Her husband has a large trailer and lives where he works, so he is home maybe once a month on average? They just bought a giant $1700 3 piece couch for the house. Sometimes, you have to double down and realize you are not the insane person, it is watching madness that makes you feel insane.

This is where you see that people's priorities, can determine their life consequences. Like going to Starbucks every day and having no 401(k). Financing a giant truck for...commuting. Or, in MMM fashion, saving over 50% of your income and riding a bike.

Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1024 on: February 09, 2016, 02:36:58 PM »
I suppose it should be mentioned that having grown up in Chicagoland and living in Chicago now, I'm pretty picky with my pizza. (No, I'm not talking about deep dish either--completely different conversation)

They can keep that disgusting Chicago deep dish stuff in Chiraq, haha.

"New york style" is the only proper way to do a pizza imo.

NAH - Neapolitan!!!

Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1025 on: February 09, 2016, 02:41:53 PM »
I did that at the orthodontist's office in December when we went to get braces for my daughter. Got a decent discount for paying in full, too. I suspect they build some financing fees into their price structure, in order to be able to stretch payments out over several months or years. But you're right about the googly eyes among the staff.

And DECEMEBER too! Weren't you already bankrupt from all the holiday shopping?

-sarcasm- <wink>
« Last Edit: February 09, 2016, 02:44:12 PM by Jethrosnose »

LeRainDrop

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1026 on: February 09, 2016, 07:08:23 PM »
-Keeps two large dogs (easily 10K a year in kenneling/dog watching expenses since she's on the road 6-7 months of the year)

This makes me very sad for those dogs.

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1027 on: February 10, 2016, 02:52:08 AM »

If I said it was a time constraint, I would be lying. I just really really hate crafting/making things. I'm impressed by people that enjoy it, I just don't. I can sew a button/stitch a rip with needle and thread. I'm not going any further than that though because I hate it.

+1. I am the same way, I absolutely hate sewing with a passion and avoid it as much as I can, which is a lot, lol.

meg_shannon

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1028 on: February 10, 2016, 03:36:25 AM »
A couple weeks ago, while our my brother in law and sister in law gave us their nearly flawless couch for free (previously mentioned in this thread), my DW decided to make us all pizza for lunch. My brother in law commented how much he liked the pizza, and my wife smiled and said it was very inexpensive to make. My sister in law was perplexed by this, and commented that "eating food out is so much cheaper than making it at home." DW told her that the medium pizza costs about $2.50 to make and feeds me, DW and toddler without needing a side dish. Sometimes, I just do not get people. If you don't know the answer, just do some basic math.

To be fair, that's having a stocked pantry and basic skills. The pattern I've typically seen is someone saying 'I'll cook more at home! It'll save money!' and then they go to an expensive grocery store and buy 2lb of flour (7$), a tiny jar of yeast (4$), cheese (5-6$), tomato sauce specifically billed for pizza (4$), and whatever topping they like (say, another 8$, because assuming meat... more if they're following a recipe that lists herbs and they buy some of each, even more if they don't have olive oil, etc). Easily a 30-40$ shopping trip. And then they get home, and they follow their recipe, but lacking usual kitchen skills it winds up being an ok-but-not-great pizza, and their conclusion, is, wow, could've ordered better for 20$. As opposed to how I make pizza: flour in 10kb bags for 8$, yeast in 1lb bricks for 3$ (lasts a year, and I make all our bread and pizza dough...), tomato sauce = can of tomatoes on sale = 1$, cheese = bought on sale in bulk = maybe 2$ worth of cheese on a pizza... yeah, your 2.50$US ain't far off from what we spend when we make pizza. Maybe add a dollar sometimes for specialty cheeses or veggies (made one last week with feta cheese and red onion... yum). It makes ZERO sense if you know how to shop and cook, but the people who think this usually don't, so... the pattern continues.

And to those who question people getting rid of couches: 2 of our 3 couches are from my mom's house, because (and I quote), they no longer matched her decor. They're comfy, they're great, they make an amazing tv room in the basement, and they were free. SCORE. But basically: it happens.

I really wish this forum had a LIKE function, because this post is great.

Yes, this is why people think it's cheaper to eat out. My niece is moving into an apartment this summer (for the first time). She's been in dorms previously. Recently she realized that she has no idea how to set up an apartment, plan a kitchen (though she has basic cooking skills), etc. We've been emailing and I've pointed this out. Buy the staples for what you can cook and move on from there. Don't feel that you have to stock for every possible thing at once.

Ann

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1029 on: February 10, 2016, 04:50:09 AM »
Yes.  When you first start out, it really would be cheaper or faster to eat out.  You either have to buy cookware, wait for birthday/Christmas and ask for them, or serendipitously come across it (a lot of my initial kitchen stuff came from roommates who just abandoned it or passed it on when they got married).  Buying basic ingredients does have initial start up cost.  Over the course I time, it will be worth it but to buy everything at once gets expensive.  And then there's the learning curve of actually figuring out how to make meals taste the way you like them.  I remember that frustration when I started out.  Having to buy a mixing bowl, a cookie sheet, etc.

Worth it in the end.

Pooperman

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1030 on: February 10, 2016, 06:21:29 AM »
I think the best graduation present you can give someone is a crockpot. It's the one kitchen thing that can make a ton of different meals with little input. Pulled pork, mac & cheese, chili, lasagna, etc. It's not that expensive either!

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1031 on: February 10, 2016, 06:25:11 AM »
I think the best graduation present you can give someone is a crockpot. It's the one kitchen thing that can make a ton of different meals with little input. Pulled pork, mac & cheese, chili, lasagna, etc. It's not that expensive either!
The only problem I've run into is that EVERYBODY thinks that. When I moved into my own place in college, I got 3 crockpots and two entire sets of silverware, but didn't have a frying pan or baking sheet or anything to really cook with. I lived by myself. Tried using the crockpot once and half of the food spoiled before I could eat it lol.

Pooperman

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1032 on: February 10, 2016, 06:32:34 AM »
I think the best graduation present you can give someone is a crockpot. It's the one kitchen thing that can make a ton of different meals with little input. Pulled pork, mac & cheese, chili, lasagna, etc. It's not that expensive either!
The only problem I've run into is that EVERYBODY thinks that. When I moved into my own place in college, I got 3 crockpots and two entire sets of silverware, but didn't have a frying pan or baking sheet or anything to really cook with. I lived by myself. Tried using the crockpot once and half of the food spoiled before I could eat it lol.

I got a cookware set when I moved into dorms with a kitchen my sophomore year (it was a cheapo set costing like $50). I didn't get a crockpot until I moved out after my first job... and I bought the damned thing. Still, it solves the problem of having a way of cooking easy meals instead of eating out. I would agree that getting 3 is a bit much, though you can return the other two and buy a pot set with the money?

JordanOfGilead

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1033 on: February 10, 2016, 06:43:39 AM »
I think the best graduation present you can give someone is a crockpot. It's the one kitchen thing that can make a ton of different meals with little input. Pulled pork, mac & cheese, chili, lasagna, etc. It's not that expensive either!
The only problem I've run into is that EVERYBODY thinks that. When I moved into my own place in college, I got 3 crockpots and two entire sets of silverware, but didn't have a frying pan or baking sheet or anything to really cook with. I lived by myself. Tried using the crockpot once and half of the food spoiled before I could eat it lol.

I got a cookware set when I moved into dorms with a kitchen my sophomore year (it was a cheapo set costing like $50). I didn't get a crockpot until I moved out after my first job... and I bought the damned thing. Still, it solves the problem of having a way of cooking easy meals instead of eating out. I would agree that getting 3 is a bit much, though you can return the other two and buy a pot set with the money?
It's been almost 7 years since that happened and they were all old hand-me-downs anyway haha
The plus side is that now that my wife and I are moved into our first house, we can host large gatherings and provide food cooked via 3 crockpots at relative low cost.

Gondolin

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1034 on: February 10, 2016, 08:17:37 AM »
Quote
This makes me very sad for those dogs.

Yeah, it's pretty awful. Most of the time she uses a dog watcher so they at least get to stay at the house. However, she's an absentee owner whose dogs are her "children" so her dogs are essentially untrained. Neglected half the year and spoiled the other half.

mm1970

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1035 on: February 10, 2016, 10:29:18 AM »
My cousin joyfully explained to me this week that she'll be getting a credit card to build credit -- I said great! Just be sure to pay it off religiously every month!

She then explained that one should always carry a balance of around 1/3 of their limit because otherwise there "isn't any money there to build credit."

Explain it to her!  Also explain to her that she will lose buckets of money by carrying a balance...

I have mine set up to pay in full from my checking each month on the due date.  This took a long call to the credit card company
Rep: "How much did you want to pay per month?  The minimum?"
Me: "In full."
Rep: "In full up to $400?"
Me: "The total balance due, even if it's really high."
Rep: "Umm, okay.  Entire balance.  I don't think I've ever had anyone want that before.  Make sure to check the text on your next statement to see if it went through all right."

I know the automatic payment would cause some to ignore the bills and overspend, but it is a great boon to me.

Isn't that a great feeling to be ABLE to do that? We paid for braces in full. The dental assistant started giving the payment plan speech when I interrupted her. Her eyes got wide for a moment. Must not happen that often?

I did that at the orthodontist's office in December when we went to get braces for my daughter. Got a decent discount for paying in full, too. I suspect they build some financing fees into their price structure, in order to be able to stretch payments out over several months or years. But you're right about the googly eyes among the staff.
I went to the eye doctor recently.  Will probably need new glasses soon, you know progressives.  But they warned me that if I don't like them, they can remove the progressive lenses and make the glasses either regular OR reading glasses - however, I don't get a refund for the progressives, and it will cost extra to redo them.

They told me that twice.

Yes I know.

Of course, glasses are expensive, and my insurance only pays up to $250.  However, the HSA pays the rest.  I already have frames, so I'm not at all worried.

(And if I like the progressives, I will order a spare pair on 39dollarglasses.com for about $95)

MgoSam

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1036 on: February 10, 2016, 10:46:26 AM »
Quote
This makes me very sad for those dogs.

Yeah, it's pretty awful. Most of the time she uses a dog watcher so they at least get to stay at the house. However, she's an absentee owner whose dogs are her "children" so her dogs are essentially untrained. Neglected half the year and spoiled the other half.

This reminds me of parents that are always working and traveling to the point where their children are raised by nannies and TV.

Kitsune

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1037 on: February 10, 2016, 02:24:43 PM »
My cousin joyfully explained to me this week that she'll be getting a credit card to build credit -- I said great! Just be sure to pay it off religiously every month!

She then explained that one should always carry a balance of around 1/3 of their limit because otherwise there "isn't any money there to build credit."

Explain it to her!  Also explain to her that she will lose buckets of money by carrying a balance...

I have mine set up to pay in full from my checking each month on the due date.  This took a long call to the credit card company
Rep: "How much did you want to pay per month?  The minimum?"
Me: "In full."
Rep: "In full up to $400?"
Me: "The total balance due, even if it's really high."
Rep: "Umm, okay.  Entire balance.  I don't think I've ever had anyone want that before.  Make sure to check the text on your next statement to see if it went through all right."

I know the automatic payment would cause some to ignore the bills and overspend, but it is a great boon to me.

Isn't that a great feeling to be ABLE to do that? We paid for braces in full. The dental assistant started giving the payment plan speech when I interrupted her. Her eyes got wide for a moment. Must not happen that often?

I did that at the orthodontist's office in December when we went to get braces for my daughter. Got a decent discount for paying in full, too. I suspect they build some financing fees into their price structure, in order to be able to stretch payments out over several months or years. But you're right about the googly eyes among the staff.
I went to the eye doctor recently.  Will probably need new glasses soon, you know progressives.  But they warned me that if I don't like them, they can remove the progressive lenses and make the glasses either regular OR reading glasses - however, I don't get a refund for the progressives, and it will cost extra to redo them.

They told me that twice.

Yes I know.

Of course, glasses are expensive, and my insurance only pays up to $250.  However, the HSA pays the rest.  I already have frames, so I'm not at all worried.

(And if I like the progressives, I will order a spare pair on 39dollarglasses.com for about $95)

I just did a bunch of research before buying glasses, so let me plug 2 resources for you:
- eyebuydirect.com has cute frames. I just got 2 pairs of glasses for less than 60CAD, they look good, I can see well out of them very well, and I'm VERY satisfied (I have a toddler; I like having cheaper back-up glasses around for when she, say, conks me in the glasses with a wood block and makes a big scratch in the lens...)
- for in-person buying, Costco surprisingly has a great selection, good prices, and the highest rated quality in most articles I read. If you've got a Costco membership, that might be worth checking out.

mm1970

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1038 on: February 10, 2016, 03:33:33 PM »

If I said it was a time constraint, I would be lying. I just really really hate crafting/making things. I'm impressed by people that enjoy it, I just don't. I can sew a button/stitch a rip with needle and thread. I'm not going any further than that though because I hate it.

+1. I am the same way, I absolutely hate sewing with a passion and avoid it as much as I can, which is a lot, lol.
As long as nobody beats me up for my cleaning lady, I won't beat you up for not sewing

mm1970

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1039 on: February 10, 2016, 03:37:01 PM »
I think the best graduation present you can give someone is a crockpot. It's the one kitchen thing that can make a ton of different meals with little input. Pulled pork, mac & cheese, chili, lasagna, etc. It's not that expensive either!
The only problem I've run into is that EVERYBODY thinks that. When I moved into my own place in college, I got 3 crockpots and two entire sets of silverware, but didn't have a frying pan or baking sheet or anything to really cook with. I lived by myself. Tried using the crockpot once and half of the food spoiled before I could eat it lol.

I got a cookware set when I moved into dorms with a kitchen my sophomore year (it was a cheapo set costing like $50). I didn't get a crockpot until I moved out after my first job... and I bought the damned thing. Still, it solves the problem of having a way of cooking easy meals instead of eating out. I would agree that getting 3 is a bit much, though you can return the other two and buy a pot set with the money?

I got a 2-piece slow cooker (bottom was metal and can be used as a griddle, top just sat on it).  I got it in early 1996 as a bridal shower gift.  Man, used that thing for well over a decade. Probably about 5 years ago, outgrew it with kid getting bigger.  Gave it away on freecycle.  It's probably still in use!

rockstache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1040 on: February 10, 2016, 06:17:10 PM »


If I said it was a time constraint, I would be lying. I just really really hate crafting/making things. I'm impressed by people that enjoy it, I just don't. I can sew a button/stitch a rip with needle and thread. I'm not going any further than that though because I hate it.

+1. I am the same way, I absolutely hate sewing with a passion and avoid it as much as I can, which is a lot, lol.
As long as nobody beats me up for my cleaning lady, I won't beat you up for not sewing

I wouldn't dream of it. The only reason I wouldn't get a cleaning lady is because I used to do that myself and I don't like the feeling that someone could be going through my stuff. I'm also a really private person IRL though, and i was always amazed at the kind of things that people would leave out for me to clean around.

With This Herring

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1041 on: February 10, 2016, 08:46:43 PM »
Yes, this is why people think it's cheaper to eat out. My niece is moving into an apartment this summer (for the first time). She's been in dorms previously. Recently she realized that she has no idea how to set up an apartment, plan a kitchen (though she has basic cooking skills), etc. We've been emailing and I've pointed this out. Buy the staples for what you can cook and move on from there. Don't feel that you have to stock for every possible thing at once.

On her first day in the apartment, would you take her out spice shopping?  Not to buy them for her, but just to show her how to get them for less.  I was so dumb when I started out and bought all McCormick (piece by piece, as needed) for at least $3-$6 each.  I wish that someone had pointed out to me that you can get cheaper spices in the SAME STORE in the International section, dollar-each bottles in a different set of racks off to the side and at Aldi, and spices cheaper still (and fresher) at ethnic markets.

Also, summer is a great time to pick up kitchen basics at moving and estate sales.

Larabeth

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1042 on: February 10, 2016, 09:06:35 PM »
I was so dumb when I started out and bought all McCormick (piece by piece, as needed) for at least $3-$6 each.  I wish that someone had pointed out to me that you can get cheaper spices in the SAME STORE in the International section, dollar-each bottles in a different set of racks off to the side and at Aldi, and spices cheaper still (and fresher) at ethnic markets.


Oh, hey, news to me, hahaha.  I've been using the ALdi spices but hadn't thought about ethnic sections/markets!!

meg_shannon

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1043 on: February 11, 2016, 07:49:38 AM »
Yes, this is why people think it's cheaper to eat out. My niece is moving into an apartment this summer (for the first time). She's been in dorms previously. Recently she realized that she has no idea how to set up an apartment, plan a kitchen (though she has basic cooking skills), etc. We've been emailing and I've pointed this out. Buy the staples for what you can cook and move on from there. Don't feel that you have to stock for every possible thing at once.

On her first day in the apartment, would you take her out spice shopping?  Not to buy them for her, but just to show her how to get them for less.  I was so dumb when I started out and bought all McCormick (piece by piece, as needed) for at least $3-$6 each.  I wish that someone had pointed out to me that you can get cheaper spices in the SAME STORE in the International section, dollar-each bottles in a different set of racks off to the side and at Aldi, and spices cheaper still (and fresher) at ethnic markets.

Also, summer is a great time to pick up kitchen basics at moving and estate sales.

I'll be sure to bring that up. Unfortunately I can't take her, as she's in CA and we'll be in NJ. We have a specialty spice shop near us that lets you buy by weight, even tiny quantities. I've bought weird stuff by the teaspoon there for new recipes. Something to think about if you're trying something new. I usually buy less used spices/dried herbs there, though they are more expensive by weight I don't have to buy more than I'll use in six months or so (and I don't end up with an extra container as they'll tare my jars). In the end it costs less and creates less waste.

With This Herring

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1044 on: February 11, 2016, 09:23:52 AM »
Yes, this is why people think it's cheaper to eat out. My niece is moving into an apartment this summer (for the first time). She's been in dorms previously. Recently she realized that she has no idea how to set up an apartment, plan a kitchen (though she has basic cooking skills), etc. We've been emailing and I've pointed this out. Buy the staples for what you can cook and move on from there. Don't feel that you have to stock for every possible thing at once.

On her first day in the apartment, would you take her out spice shopping?  Not to buy them for her, but just to show her how to get them for less.  I was so dumb when I started out and bought all McCormick (piece by piece, as needed) for at least $3-$6 each.  I wish that someone had pointed out to me that you can get cheaper spices in the SAME STORE in the International section, dollar-each bottles in a different set of racks off to the side and at Aldi, and spices cheaper still (and fresher) at ethnic markets.

Also, summer is a great time to pick up kitchen basics at moving and estate sales.

I'll be sure to bring that up. Unfortunately I can't take her, as she's in CA and we'll be in NJ. We have a specialty spice shop near us that lets you buy by weight, even tiny quantities. I've bought weird stuff by the teaspoon there for new recipes. Something to think about if you're trying something new. I usually buy less used spices/dried herbs there, though they are more expensive by weight I don't have to buy more than I'll use in six months or so (and I don't end up with an extra container as they'll tare my jars). In the end it costs less and creates less waste.

Ooo, a teaspoon at a time?  I have spices for which that would have been excellent.

Oh, hey, news to me, hahaha.  I've been using the ALdi spices but hadn't thought about ethnic sections/markets!!

Yes, it's great!  The quantities are usually larger, but that is fine if it is a spice you use a lot.  My big savings lately was on black peppercorns from an Indian store.



Back on topic:
Spendy cousin mentions that she will be buying a horse (she lives in the city), renting space for the horse (which will cost the same as my apartment rent), buying a horse trailer, and buying a new pickup truck to tow said trailer.  She mentions she will be financing the vehicles.  When I mention that she will get eaten alive by the interest, she says that not everyone can be frugal.  I know she loves horses, but maybe it would make more sense to rent the horse rather than going into debt.

Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1045 on: February 11, 2016, 09:41:35 AM »
Quote
This makes me very sad for those dogs.

Yeah, it's pretty awful. Most of the time she uses a dog watcher so they at least get to stay at the house. However, she's an absentee owner whose dogs are her "children" so her dogs are essentially untrained. Neglected half the year and spoiled the other half.

This reminds me of parents that are always working and traveling to the point where their children are raised by nannies and TV.

Yep. That has shaped my career choices over the past 20+ years. Seen that, don't want to live that.

I think this is the biggest danger of not getting some sort of training (university, trade school, etc) so a person doesn't have to work all the time or work multiple jobs while they need to be raising their children too.

I'm all for doing whatever a person needs to do to make ends meet over the short term though.

The ability to go home and show some interest in one's kids might make those rough neighborhoods a little better and make life better for all of society.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1046 on: February 11, 2016, 10:05:10 AM »
I usually buy less used spices/dried herbs there

This being MMM, it took me a moment to realize that you didn't mean you were buying secondhand spices and herbs.

"Well, they don't have quite as much flavor, but they're so cheap, you can use twice as much and still save money!"

Astatine

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1047 on: February 12, 2016, 04:02:36 AM »
I usually buy less used spices/dried herbs there

This being MMM, it took me a moment to realize that you didn't mean you were buying secondhand spices and herbs.

"Well, they don't have quite as much flavor, but they're so cheap, you can use twice as much and still save money!"

bwah ha ha, that's great.


Papa Mustache

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1048 on: February 12, 2016, 08:59:05 AM »
So you buy your spices at Goodwill and cousins? ;)

jinga nation

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Re: Relatives who just don't get it
« Reply #1049 on: February 12, 2016, 09:06:05 AM »
My big savings lately was on black peppercorns from an Indian store.
The Indian store here (Patel Brothers) has been raising their prices upwards to "match" with Sam's Club and Publix. Muh'fuggers!