Rant about spendypants guy and leeching GF

[Half-Borg]

Hello there,

I just have to share this story:
A friend of mine, bringing home 3000€/mo (above 80% average income), is spending all of it and more.
He financed a used BMW 330d for 10K and is paying it off at a whooping 250€/mo. Instead he spends all his money on consumer shit for himself and his girlfriend. She is still an college and always broke buying clothes, photograph shootings, make-up, whatever.

They life several hundred kilometers apart and she is not willing to pay for gas to drive, so he always drives there.
She doesn't have money to go on snowboard vacation, so he pays for 8 days and buys both of them new snowboards (they both already own fine boards).
Her IPhone breaks, so he buys new Nokia Lumina for both of them. His smartphone was getting old anyway...
Her car breaks down, he borrows her a couple hundred, which has yet to be paid back (2 years now).
He also promised to buy her a brand new BMW 125 in case they get married (not engaged yet).
He also bought 2 Windows Surface Pro for both of them (779€ each).

Whatever is left over by his girlfriend is spend on new speakers, new XBox, new Laptop the usual.
I tell hom from time to time to pay off his debt and he says sure, whenever he has bought everything he needs, which, of course, is going to be never.

I do get how people can buy stuff for themself, hell I'm looking for a new laptop myself, but to double each expense for the GF, who is never paying for anything and always happy to be invited? I don't know.
Also I do know a very unpleasant word for ladies, who exchange love for material benefits. How can she not feel like that?
Damn I tought society has evolved beyond the Man-brings-Meat stage!

Thanks for listening to my rant.

[Osprey]

I don't know. It seems like your friend is happy with his choices, and happy to extend them to include his girlfriend (who I am assuming he cares about a great deal, especially if possible marriage is on the table). Since she is a student and can't afford his lifestyle, the only way he would be able to spend time with her (admittedly in the very spendy way that he chooses to use up his time in general) would be to either
(a) pay for her, or
(b) reduce his spending down to whatever she can afford.

It seems like they are both stuck in a consumerist mindset. If she were constantly pressuring or nagging him to buy her things against his will that he himself would derive no pleasure from, then there might be a problem. But that's not the impression I got from reading your description. Of course, his decisions are still facepunch (and facepalm) worthy, so rant away!

[Half-Borg]

You are right, it's more about consumerism. Like he is not only overspending, but he's also always paying double (why the hell would anyone need a tablet, even more so two if it).
But there is some leeching involved, it's not like she has absolutly no money, she just bought 3000€ worth of camera gear. I feel like she is spending money on herself and everything done together has to be paid by him. I would feel very bad being showered in gifts (like the tablet, what the hell does anyone need a tablet for)

[Jacob F]

Sorry for being (maybe a little bit too) honest here, but she must have some very convincing qualities :-0

On the topic: Some people are just not ready to be unplugged from consumerism.

A good friend of mine was very frugal when we grew up, but after leaving high school, our ways seemed completely twisted. I started saving bigtime and he started spending bigtime. When I talk to him about it nowadays, he acknowledges it, but he seems unable to change back to his mustachian past. Expensive girlfriends play an important role in this story, too...

[gooki]

Gold digger isn't a dirty word, feel free to use it liberally.

As for tablets - they're super nice to surf the web on while lounging on a sofa.

FWIW I happily supported my GF while she was in college. We got married, and soon she was earning more then me. But not to the excess displayed in your quotes.

[MsSindy]

Gold digger isn't a dirty word, feel free to use it liberally.

I don't think that was the word he meant! 
Also I do know a very unpleasant word for ladies, who exchange love for material benefits.
I think he means to call her a Hooker..... and yes, that may be a little too strong of a word.

[mariarose]

Gold digger isn't a dirty word, feel free to use it liberally.

I don't think that was the word he meant! 
Also I do know a very unpleasant word for ladies, who exchange love for material benefits.
I think he means to call her a Hooker..... and yes, that may be a little too strong of a word.

Courtesan?

[MsSindy]

Gold digger isn't a dirty word, feel free to use it liberally.

I don't think that was the word he meant! 
Also I do know a very unpleasant word for ladies, who exchange love for material benefits.
I think he means to call her a Hooker..... and yes, that may be a little too strong of a word.

Courtesan?

Love it! I just learned a new word!!
=====================================
We all know the word prostitute but how many people know what a courtesan is? It is not a type of ointment that one rubs over something itchy, that is cortisone and is in no way related. Courtesans were at the top of the prostitutional hierarchy. They were above streetwalkers, prostitutes, madams and lorettes. They were the upper tier and they had very elegant lifestyles.

Courtesans were basically mistresses. They were supported by wealthy men who provided them with anything they could ever want. Many such women lived in a more comfortable way then some of the bourgoisie.

[EMP]

Gold digger isn't a dirty word, feel free to use it liberally.

I don't think that was the word he meant! 
Also I do know a very unpleasant word for ladies, who exchange love for material benefits.
I think he means to call her a Hooker..... and yes, that may be a little too strong of a word.

Courtesan?

Love it! I just learned a new word!!
=====================================
We all know the word prostitute but how many people know what a courtesan is? It is not a type of ointment that one rubs over something itchy, that is cortisone and is in no way related. Courtesans were at the top of the prostitutional hierarchy. They were above streetwalkers, prostitutes, madams and lorettes. They were the upper tier and they had very elegant lifestyles.

Courtesans were basically mistresses. They were supported by wealthy men who provided them with anything they could ever want. Many such women lived in a more comfortable way then some of the bourgoisie.

My best friend's FIL is a wealthy elderly widower, with a much younger girlfriend who, shall we say, has no job or other source of income. You know that saying, "Marry for money and you'll earn every penny." The girlfriend in this case really has. She cooks for him, makes sure he takes his meds, nags him to go to the doctor, makes sure he has a social life, etc. It's not what I want for my life, but they seem happy, I think her work has real value, and she's probably added years to his life. His sons or daughters in law would not be able to provide the kind of care and supervision that's really best for him. So she cares for him, and when he dies, he'll ensure she has enough money to live comfortably, albeit modestly, for the rest of her life.

Thank you for this story.  I find it somewhat heartening.