Pushback From Everyone

[CmFtns]

So back when I first started reading MMM and looking into some of his strategies I spent a good long while quietly running some scenarios and numbers and became increasingly excited about this whole lifestyle. Now it wasn't hard to convince my girlfriend that this was a winning strategy as she was already paying back loans aggressively and we both are very excited about our futures. The problem lies in my friends and family and their opinion on this matter.

I really wasn't looking to share my plans with the world but when I get really excited about something I tend to want to talk about it with someone. At first I confided in my parents and shared some of my budget ideas, calculators, savings rates, and investment ideas with them. Instantly I was met with cautions about "unrealistic expectations", warnings that "things come up", and stories of their frugal lifestyle, spending, and lack of extra money when they first hit the job market way back in the late 80s working dual salary as a lawyer and a computer engineer... How could you not save money with those jobs?

Now on to the next part... So I guess I didn't express to my parents that I didn't want everybody and their mothers to know "hey I want to retire in my very early 30s". Next thing I know, every event I'm at people are like "So I hear your gonna retire at 30, Good luck with that" with sarcastic/yea right tones and people asking me to explain how I could possibly do that and then interrupting me as I hesitantly explain telling me about all the expenses from cable bills, car payments, kids, and cell phones I'm forgetting about that I don't and won’t have. Basically they stop listening after I explain to them that I don't have cable because it's no longer relevant to them because of the human basic need for cable television. Lately I've just started telling people I don't want to talk about it.

Also, I'm in a group chat with some friends from high school and I guess they got word too. I like to cook and freeze meals for the week so I only have to cook one day a week and sometimes I send pictures to my friends saying like "mmm chicken and yellow rice" or" yum homemade bread". I get shot back about 5 responses to the tune of "Oh man but is it under 10 cents per serving, don't break the bank" or "Only worth it if it's 1 cent a slice" or "don't eat up all your retirement money".

I'm just shocked at the pushback I received from such exciting topics. People should be asking "how can I accomplish this?" which results in awesome mustacian conversations instead of just bashing me. I don't see why, in any way whatsoever, you should make fun of someone for saving money. Their cautioning me like I'm making a huge mistake and I'm going to ruin my life or something but what harm whatsoever can come from saving... It’s crazy... at any point in the future if I decide "Hey I'm done... I'm going to live like everyone else" I would be FAR better off with the savings I’ve accumulated.

I'm a confused mustacian… I just don’t get it =/

EDIT* This situation has gotten much better as I've pretty much stopped talking about it completely. I didn't let them tear me down though still saving ~75%. Thanks for all the comments I enjoyed reading them all.

[Kris]

Yeah, people are weird when you do something that they perceive as being an indirect attack on the way they think the world works.

My advice?  Stop talking about it completely.  Laugh but don't engage.  Eventually they'll get sick of it and their stupid comments will mostly die down.  And then one day, you'll retire, and it will flare up again, but you won't care -- you'll be enjoying your life as they continue to max out their credit cars and bemoan the lack of money in their 401ks.

[icek05]

I think people like having the idea that it isn't possible to retire early.  If it was possible then they might have to feel bad for not doing it and if you say you are going to do it then it definitely is possible.  So to avoid that it's better to just remind you how not possible it is and how dumb you are for even thinking that.   Really as Kris said I think it will serve you best to mostly ignore them unless someone is actually interested in doing the same!

[MDM]

Made this post recently in another thread, but it seems applicable here also.  It's from youarenotsosmart.com: http://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/08/21/the-illusion-of-asymmetric-insight/.  The quote mentions politics, but as Kris noted it can apply to anything that conflicts with someone's perceptions.  Of course, there is always the possibility it is you who are wrong and the others who are right - but in this case I don't think so.  Good luck!

"In a political debate you feel like the other side just doesn’t get your point of view, and if they could only see things with your clarity, they would understand and fall naturally in line with what you believe. They must not understand, because if they did they wouldn’t think the things they think.

By contrast, you believe you totally get their point of view and you reject it. You see it in all its detail and understand it for what it is – stupid. You don’t need to hear them elaborate. So, each side believes they understand the other side better than the other side understands both their opponents and themselves."

[forummm]

Just keep doing what you know is right, even if the whole world's crazy. It's your life to live the way you want to. Don't let others kill your joy.

I'm going to retire in my 30s too. I am very much looking forward to it. I'm pretty close :)

[Candace]

Kris's advice is good. Laugh, and deflect with humor. Then don't bring it up with most people unless you already think they understand and share your point of view. Really, as you have discovered, people get hostile when the idea of early financial independence is brought up as an achievable possibility. They are jealous, and their way of life is ingrained in them, along with their understanding of their limitations. Never mind that we don't really have these limitations. Most people think they're written in stone. Your passion is a threat to their perception of their way of life as "normal".

Sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve for your parents to discourage you and definitely didn't deserve for them to throw you under the bus with all those other people. My parents have a similar glee in pointing out anything embarrassing I've done to others. I think it makes them feel superior.

[Candace]

Just keep doing what you know is right, even if the whole world's crazy. It's your life to live the way you want to. Don't let others kill your joy.

I'm going to retire in my 30s too. I am very much looking forward to it. I'm pretty close :)

Go forummm!

[sleepyguy]

Yeah it's pretty common.  I just don't bother (mind you, I'm not a good case example for MMM lifestyle) anymore.  Friends, nope, family, nope, coworkers nope.  ONLY IF the person ask me directly what my investment strategies are, etc etc.  Then I will give them a very vague answer to see if it peaks their interest... if I see they are positive and want to hear more I'll continue in more detail.  I can say in real life that has happened twice.  People don't care or are too lazy to change their ways even though it's destructive.  Case example is poor eating habits and being a fatso... they know eating junk/fast food 2-3x per day is bad... and not moving around... but still they continue to do so.

My GF and I are happy with our lifestyle and our financial future is bright... I care about that... I don't care about others 'opinions' on the matter.

[CmFtns]

Thanks for the reply's guys. Some good advice and some I've already practiced. I definitely try to avoid conversations about it now and hope people will forget till that one day when I tell them all. "I'm done working" and go do stuff I really want to do.

I just think it's an amazing human dynamic that people reject what they currently are not doing instinctively... Although I was fairly frugal before finding this community, I was not practicing mustacism to it's fullest before I read this forum... But I didn't dismiss it as wrong because it was not currently what I was doing... I adapted becuase of new knowledge and adjusted my goals.

[TheOldestYoungMan]

Aye, what they said, welcome to the club.

Eventually you will come across people who are interested and get to have those conversations.  And some of those people scoffing now will come around over time.

One issue is that there is no cultural normative response to the situation.  They haven't seen a tv show or grown up with a friend of the family attempting what you are.  As mustachianism concerns the realm of spending money and deviation from their norm, they react in exactly the same way as if you were espousing spending all your money on hookers and blow.  It is all they know, and most conversation is just acting out things they've already decided they'd say.  There's no hallmark card for us.

The closest most of them has ever seen is the evening news story about the local guy who only drinks coffee he gets for free in the morning at hardware stores and washes his toilet paper to re-use.  The crazy guy.

It is a progression to get where we are, and skipping steps makes us look nuts.  It isn't until they come and visit and you make a delicious meal in your comfortable living space where they have the best dinner conversation they've had in months and realize it's because you have no tv and are happy.

Several people who've made wisecracks over the year or so I've been doing this have since come back to me with pursed lips "..um...how do I get started?"

In particular with your parents/older folks, go easy on them.  They didn't have the internet when they were making these decisions.  They also might have been trying to start saving prior to things like the 401k or the IRA even existing, so more sacrifice for fewer rewards.  To learn about investing my dad had to buy a book or borrow one from the library, and just hope it was a good book, not some sleazeball trying to take advantage.

So it actually is way easier for you than it was for them.  You can instantly search a bajillion articles on how to do {whatever} for cheaper, they had to hope to see an article in a magazine while waiting at the dentist's office.

[Bob W]

I think this would throw me into a serious fuck you mode and I would redouble my efforts.  I would be saying to myself screw 30 what about 29,  what about 28, what about 27?

I would take on extra work,  deliver pizzas on the weekends and cut my expenses to the core --- I mean really cut them.     As Dave Ramsey would say -- You wouldn't see the inside of a restaurant unless you were working there.   No time for facebook or socializing with dipshits either because you are too busy working towards you dream.  Form a local MMM type group for monthly get togethers.   

Oh yeah,  I would find time to take 4 -7 vacations per year using free money via credit card rewards (richmondsavers.com) and make sure I plastered those pictures in everyone's facebook.   I would also milk the free money out there for another 4K per year. (doctorofcredit.com).   

I would set my life  up so that I had a paid off 100K car and buy a duplex that cash flows my mortgage payment.   

My 4 year projected annual living expenses would be in the area of 8K and include 10 trips or international travel of 5 months per year.   

I would also start a blog entitled "Fuck You -- One man's journey to financial independence in a sea of dissent"    Over 4 years I would make that blog generate 2K per month in mostly passive income. 

At 28 I would pull the plug on traditional jobs and announce to everyone that you had retired. (with 24K passive and 10K investment income on 8k expenses).  You would be set for life.   Of course in 5 years the dipshits that didn't have a clue will be singing a different story and asking you for advice,  along with --"I see you just spent 3 months this winter in Hawaii hiking and learning to surf.  How was that?   I'm so jealous. Wish I had the time and money for that."

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want. 

[zephyr911]

Somewhere between being a quality-over-quantity guy when it comes to friends, and not volunteering a great amount of detail on my plans, I've managed to avoid such criticism more or less entirely. However, lots of people here have come up against that kind of negativity, and as already noted, most just stop talking about it with people who want to piss on the parade.

Human beings are naturally wired to want to share new knowledge and ideas with people we care about, and I understand that it's a real downer to have almost entirely negative feedback. All I can say is, you should be proud of yourself for what you're doing and you can find that support here if you can't find it locally.

I did almost everything wrong for a solid decade out of college, - worst of all, I did it despite having wanted, at least in theory, to FIRE and live a badass unconventional lifestyle starting in my 30s. Why? Part of it was a lack of discipline, but the rest was caring too much what people thought, and not having the balls to actually live up to my unconventional goals. Now I'll be lucky to pull it off around 41 if everything goes right from here on out (and we know how rare that is).

Don't let this friction sway you from the badass life. Be proud and be happy to have figured it out so early. You're fuckin' awesome.

[MgoSam]

I don't know, a cousin of mine pinned me down for details and I finally told him what I had saved up. He nearly swallowed his cigarette he was shocked. I didn't mind telling him because I added that I wouldn't be lending him any money, and he won't need any as he's a 2nd year resident, in a few years he'll be making way more than I am. Once I told him this figure he looked and me said, "Yeah, if you keep this up, you'll be able to retire in a few years if not sooner."

Last year at my birthday it was kinda a joke among some of my friends, which I laughed along with. A guy was visiting from another state and came along and he seemed to be all butthurt about me wanting to retire in 10 years (when I'm 37), but I realized that he's 37 and so maybe took it somewhat personally.

I don't really care about what people say or think. The only exception are my parents, and that's cause they did a great job raising me and I suspect that my mother will always worry about me and my siblings..cause that's what mothers oftentimes do. 

[CmFtns]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

[zephyr911]

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

Well, just try to keep in mind that they view this as showing off, and/or questioning their values. Come here for support and leave your friends alone so they can peacefully squander their retirement funds on iPhones and cable packages. ;)

[Bob W]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

Oh sure I get that!   I just find that it is more motivating to reframe "irritation and lack of support" into aggressive action.   So yeah,  you can name your blog FUYUP -  Financial University for the Urban Professional and put a nice shiny cover on it.  The referral links will like that. 

Perhaps I had too much coffee today???

[Numbers Man]

So back when I first started reading MMM and looking into some of his strategies I spent a good long while quietly running some scenarios and numbers and became increasingly excited about this whole lifestyle. Now it wasn't hard to convince my girlfriend that this was a winning strategy as she was already paying back loans aggressively and we both are very excited about our futures. The problem lies in my friends and family and their opinion on this matter.

I really wasn't looking to share my plans with the world but when I get really excited about something I tend to want to talk about it with someone. At first I confided in my parents and shared some of my budget ideas, calculators, savings rates, and investment ideas with them. Instantly I was met with cautions about "unrealistic expectations", warnings that "things come up", and stories of their frugal lifestyle, spending, and lack of extra money when they first hit the job market way back in the late 80s working dual salary as a lawyer and a computer engineer... How could you not save money with those jobs?

Now on to the next part... So I guess I didn't express to my parents that I didn't want everybody and their mothers to know "hey I want to retire in my very early 30s". Next thing I know, every event I'm at people are like "So I hear your gonna retire at 30, Good luck with that" with sarcastic/yea right tones and people asking me to explain how I could possibly do that and then interrupting me as I hesitantly explain telling me about all the expenses from cable bills, car payments, kids, and cell phones I'm forgetting about that I don't and won’t have. Basically they stop listening after I explain to them that I don't have cable because it's no longer relevant to them because of the human basic need for cable television. Lately I've just started telling people I don't want to talk about it.

Also, I'm in a group chat with some friends from high school and I guess they got word too. I like to cook and freeze meals for the week so I only have to cook one day a week and sometimes I send pictures to my friends saying like "mmm chicken and yellow rice" or" yum homemade bread". I get shot back about 5 responses to the tune of "Oh man but is it under 10 cents per serving, don't break the bank" or "Only worth it if it's 1 cent a slice" or "don't eat up all your retirement money".

I'm just shocked at the pushback I received from such exciting topics. People should be asking "how can I accomplish this?" which results in awesome mustacian conversations instead of just bashing me. I don't see why, in any way whatsoever, you should make fun of someone for saving money. Their cautioning me like I'm making a huge mistake and I'm going to ruin my life or something but what harm whatsoever can come from saving... It’s crazy... at any point in the future if I decide "Hey I'm done... I'm going to live like everyone else" I would be FAR better off with the savings I’ve accumulated.

I'm a confused mustacian… I just don’t get it =/

Sounds like your parents are............    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOQ9-b_Usy8  (go to 39 seconds).

[jinga nation]

OP, the world hates people who try to be financially successful, but likes to laud those who've already made it.

The only opinion that matters is yours. Everyone else can go stick their head where the sun doesn't shine.

Don't look for support in those around you. Remember, "Et tu, Brute?".

If you're ever in Tampa, PM me for a meet-up.

[Mr. Green]

Keep on rockin', man. People in general are like crabs in a bucket. When one tries to get out the others will pull it back down. I've experience similar negativity and it only fuels my fire (no pun intended) to get there, not necessarily to prove them wrong, but to know I followed through on something others doubted me on.

[Cookie78]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

Oh sure I get that!   I just find that it is more motivating to reframe "irritation and lack of support" into aggressive action.   So yeah,  you can name your blog FUYUP -  Financial University for the Urban Professional and put a nice shiny cover on it.  The referral links will like that. 

Perhaps I had too much coffee today???

I thought it was inspiring. You made me want to go run home and do all of those things. lol

Caffeine levels are just fine. :)

[MgoSam]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

Oh sure I get that!   I just find that it is more motivating to reframe "irritation and lack of support" into aggressive action.   So yeah,  you can name your blog FUYUP -  Financial University for the Urban Professional and put a nice shiny cover on it.  The referral links will like that. 

Perhaps I had too much coffee today???

I thought it was inspiring. You made me want to go run home and do all of those things. lol

Caffeine levels are just fine. :)

I agree with Bob. At the end of the day, the talk about FIRE is just talk until it is shown by actions. All around us, many people may be supporting us or laughing at us, but the only way that people will take us seriously is if we show that we are serious.

I saw this when my cousin got actual numbers from me. I'm sure that my siblings who I haven't told about my plans to retire, but will likely scoff when I do so, will be happy for me when I am actually retired. Until then, I don't really like to share my plans with other people, unless I think that they might benefit. A few people that know of my plans will ask questions and seem interested in learning what I'm doing. They may put some of the ideas to mind, and though they may not retire early, they may be able to cut some expenses or start biking instead of driving occasionally.

[zephyr911]

I agree with Bob. At the end of the day, the talk about FIRE is just talk until it is shown by actions. All around us, many people may be supporting us or laughing at us, but the only way that people will take us seriously is if we show that we are serious.

I saw this when my cousin got actual numbers from me. I'm sure that my siblings who I haven't told about my plans to retire, but will likely scoff when I do so, will be happy for me when I am actually retired. Until then, I don't really like to share my plans with other people, unless I think that they might benefit. A few people that know of my plans will ask questions and seem interested in learning what I'm doing. They may put some of the ideas to mind, and though they may not retire early, they may be able to cut some expenses or start biking instead of driving occasionally.

Maybe that's why nobody shit-talks me... it's kind of hard to doubt our progress when we buy a new rental more often than my wife buys a new purse xD
Shit, that's actually pretty cool now that I think about it... hahaha

[The Accidental Mustachian]

Its definitely an interesting dynamic. Since i retired at 47 there have been mixed views from my friends.no open resentment but definitely a bit of bewilderment that i'm in this position. I didn't do it on a MMM lifestyle just by the fact that i had a really really generous pension scheme. (although it was relatively expensive an i have paid in every single month without fail since i was 18. When i explain this (although most know the details) i inevitably get people telling me how little they have in the way of pension. What am i supposed to say?

Interestingly what is much more common is that people try to undermine my retirement. 'what do you do all day?' 'I'd be so bored' etc etc. Again most of them know that i play guitar in a couple of bands, i walk in the countryside everyday, i drop my kids at school every day and pick em up, oh and i have been going to school and am off to university on a 4 year degree in September. I'm hardly sitting there watching daytime tv in my pyjamas all day!

I have concluded that its a mix of jealously and regret. In the UK pensions are shot. The govt pension is hardly enough to support the most ardent mustachian and the qualifying age is pushed back with depressing regularity. Final salary pension schemes which were once the norm have virtually all been closed and replaced with poor alternatives. People contribute NOWHERE near enough to these private pensions and imo the culture of investing is pretty alien to most of the population here. Couple that with ridiculously high UK house prices, particularly in and around London and i think people are just filled with despair about their current situations. They see me and think its all a bit unfair.

[Kris]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

So, I hope I don't come across as a self-righteous geezer. But:

In my own life experience, it is easier to ignore and discount others' opinions and need to criticize, the older I get. Not sure if that is true for everyone, but I think back to younger me, and she would be a lot more bothered by others' need to criticize.  Present me doesn't give a god damn.

[Zee Mustard]

I think this would throw me into a serious fuck you mode and I would redouble my efforts.  I would be saying to myself screw 30 what about 29,  what about 28, what about 27?

...

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

Bob W, you bring me joy.  Thank you.

[fb132]

I don't know about all of you, but I keep getting advice about money from broke people. I once said to a coworker that I would love to buy a condo cash...no mortgage, I hate owing anything to a bank. I get a reply "You shouldn't do that, you should get a 30 year mortgage, you will save on taxes"....I am still trying to figure out how that makes me win with money in the end from his perspective. Mind you, he has gone bankrupt twice, but he blames both bankruptcy on his exes.

Moral of the story, do what you want to do, only mention what you are doing to those who ask for advice.

[DTaggart]

I don't know about all of you, but I keep getting advice about money from broke people. I once said to a coworker that I would love to buy a condo cash...no mortgage, I hate owing anything to a bank. I get a reply "You shouldn't do that, you should get a 30 year mortgage, you will save on taxes"....I am still trying to figure out how that makes me win with money in the end from his perspective. Mind you, he has gone bankrupt twice, but he blames both bankruptcy on his exes.

LOL one of my financially inept brothers once said the same thing to me - you should NEVER pay off your mortgage early because of the tax break and you can make more by investing the extra money. Sure, mathematically that's true. So I asked him what he was investing all of his extra money in then. He looked at me like I was crazy and said "I don't have any extra money!"

[Potterquilter]

We were FI by our late 40's.  I cannot tell you how many times our siblings or friends just could not understand why we made the choices we did. We really did not advertise our plans.  People just thought we were cheap for driving around rust buckets, cooking from scratch, bringing lunch to work etc. 

The joke was on them. We have many friends and family members who wonder how they will be able to make ends meet when they retire in their late 60's.  We are over ten years into retirement, have travelled the world, do a ton of charitable work, live in a very nice house and they still are bewildered.  It is because we spend on things important to us, not what is important to everyone else and our net worth has increased in retirement.

So my advice is ignore the naysayers. Nothing feels as good as knowing you are financially secure and in control of your time and future.

As for being bored?  Not enough hours in the day to accomplish what I want to do. 

And most importantly to this day if someone makes a comment we just nod and smile. Or shrug.  No clever retort. No explanations. If anyone wanted to figure it out they could just like we have.

[Wilson Hall]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

So, I hope I don't come across as a self-righteous geezer. But:

In my own life experience, it is easier to ignore and discount others' opinions and need to criticize, the older I get. Not sure if that is true for everyone, but I think back to younger me, and she would be a lot more bothered by others' need to criticize.  Present me doesn't give a god damn.

I know I'm new here, but I love you guys.

[Kris]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

So, I hope I don't come across as a self-righteous geezer. But:

In my own life experience, it is easier to ignore and discount others' opinions and need to criticize, the older I get. Not sure if that is true for everyone, but I think back to younger me, and she would be a lot more bothered by others' need to criticize.  Present me doesn't give a god damn.

I know I'm new here, but I love you guys.

Ha -- we love you, too! The sooner anyone manages to not organize their life based on others' expectations, the better, in my mind.

Welcome to intellectual independence, my friend.

[Elderwood17]

The pushback is rougher, and from the forums I think the younger you are the worse you get it. 

Try not to worry about it.  Answer with good humor, but stick to your plan.  When they really get you down, get back on this site and send time with kindred spirits.

[Daisy]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

So, I hope I don't come across as a self-righteous geezer. But:

In my own life experience, it is easier to ignore and discount others' opinions and need to criticize, the older I get. Not sure if that is true for everyone, but I think back to younger me, and she would be a lot more bothered by others' need to criticize.  Present me doesn't give a god damn.

As another self-righteous geezer...amen sister.

You can take the pushback from others and let it bother you or deter you from your FIRE goals as you sit and ponder it in your cubicle, or you can ignore the naysayers and plan your FIRE.

When you are FIREd in your 40s and can say FU to having to work for money, you will have a big grin on your face and will wonder why you ever worried about what people thought of you in your 20s and 30s.

[Xlar]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

Oh sure I get that!   I just find that it is more motivating to reframe "irritation and lack of support" into aggressive action.   So yeah,  you can name your blog FUYUP -  Financial University for the Urban Professional and put a nice shiny cover on it.  The referral links will like that. 

Perhaps I had too much coffee today???

I thought it was inspiring. You made me want to go run home and do all of those things. lol

Caffeine levels are just fine. :)

I second this! Definitely makes me want to find a second job, redouble my efforts, and earn some extra! :)

[MgoSam]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

Oh sure I get that!   I just find that it is more motivating to reframe "irritation and lack of support" into aggressive action.   So yeah,  you can name your blog FUYUP -  Financial University for the Urban Professional and put a nice shiny cover on it.  The referral links will like that. 

Perhaps I had too much coffee today???

I thought it was inspiring. You made me want to go run home and do all of those things. lol

Caffeine levels are just fine. :)

I second this! Definitely makes me want to find a second job, redouble my efforts, and earn some extra! :)

Or you could do something akin to what I did, I challenged myself to not eat out and cook everything I eat for the rest of the month (exception being when out with friends). I didn't think it would be this hard, but it is, and I am loving that it is making me very conscious of what I put into my body. I didn't realize how much of a pull a burrito had from a local place. I have had a problem with cooking a large batch of something and eating it for a few days, but I am finding myself more willing to do so for the sake of the ease of it.

[Forcus]

Right or wrong, I'm guessing at least partially your pushback is from age. To be honest I get a little defensive if someone with less life experience tries to tell me what to do. And I fully expect that if I turn around and do the same to someone twice my age, they will push back as well.

Best things to do is to not advertise your plans. I know it sucks if you like talking about that kind of stuff, or you genuinely want to help someone, but you got to expect that at your age you'll have pushback. Now, retire at 30 (or whatever age), have enough money for contingencies, and you might be able to push back on the pushback a little more.

[greenmimama]

I can hear and see these people in my mind, they are thinking of all the things you have not experienced and will slow you down.

And really lots of things can slow you down, but what if you are half wrong, you are still going to be so much farther ahead.

I would also guess that they are jealous of this idea, because they would love to be done with it all too. 

You can still have children and buy a house, but just don't keep getter bigger and better of everything, be happy with what you have.

I used to get a lot of pushback, then we bought a pretty impressive house and no one makes fun anymore. We are selling it though and downsizing, it's still a great place, and we could go much smaller, but we can afford it and it's what we want to be in. It's nobodies business except ours.

[mm1970]

Yeah, people are weird when you do something that they perceive as being an indirect attack on the way they think the world works.

My advice?  Stop talking about it completely.  Laugh but don't engage.  Eventually they'll get sick of it and their stupid comments will mostly die down.  And then one day, you'll retire, and it will flare up again, but you won't care -- you'll be enjoying your life as they continue to max out their credit cars and bemoan the lack of money in their 401ks.

Pretty much this.

Don't engage.  Come and engage here.

[grantmeaname]

My advice?  Stop talking about it completely.

Best things to do is to not advertise your plans.

Don't engage.  Come and engage here.

I get where these guys are coming from but I completely disagree with the advice. I don't advertise early retirement at work for career reasons, but in social settings I never hide it. Here's why: I figure there's a small chance mentioning it will do a ton of good to somebody I like, and if someone gives me shit I can always let it roll off my back.

I've been doing the Mustache thing for four years now and I've probably got six or seven close friends on board - partially because we all valued some of the same things before any of us found the site, and partially because the blog and the productive habits spread from one of us to another. Maybe in a decade we'll all live next door to each other in Belize, but in the meantime it also means I get a ton of positive reinforcement. A good friend texted me for a double date earlier today, to name just the most recent example, and he was thinking we all grill out at his house rather than blow a day's salary at Buca Carrabba Garden or some equally forgettable hole. My friends use the library, notice really cool free things to do around town, and let me know the interesting things to watch for at the ethnic grocery store. When Mustachianism jumps from something you think about on the forum here to one of your social circles, I think it gets WAY easier to stay committed to the cause.

But there are also the ones who aren't on board. If somebody were to give me a hard time about keeping grocery costs down, I think I'd enthusiastically tell them that now I'm only eating lentils topped with lentils as a result of their thoughtful criticism and have gotten down to ten cents a month in food costs - or talk up one of the luxuries I do consume, like the ridiculously good homemade iced latte I'm drinking as I type this. A few of my friends have made me the the butt of the occasional recurring joke, but I can always turn it from a comment that has its roots in defensiveness into something that's amusing for everybody and not a criticism of my lifestyle. It's not as hard as you might think.

[pbkmaine]

I never hid it either, at work or at play. But I have always been contrary. All my life, as soon as someone told me I "had" to do something, I could think of 100 reasons why it wasn't a good idea. I like going against the flow.

[Hunny156]

I've gotten a ton of pushback too, and I was always pretty frugal, just not to Mustachian levels like I am now.  And I still live a life that has a lot of "fat" in it, but I can afford it and its not derailing my long term plans.

People who know me well know that early retirement is high up on the to do list.  I've learned to deflect with humor first, and if they are truly interested, then I'm happy to take some time out of social situations to chat.

My favorite lines are as follows:

When it comes to retiring early: Well, on paper it all looks great!  We'll see how real life compares.

When it comes to my collection of rental properties:  Some women buy shoes.  I buy houses.

Both work well to disarm people and change the subject when their end goal was to poke holes in your plans.  :)

[neil]

And really lots of things can slow you down, but what if you are half wrong, you are still going to be so much farther ahead.

Definitely this.  The part that I like most about being done with the retirement game early (even if you don't actually do the retirement part) is that you are less likely to have emergency situations when you are young.  You are generally at your healthiest, you aren't necessarily bound to a specific place and you can really shorten the amount of time an emergency can even occur and set you back.  Even having FU money is really good enough if you know how to take care of yourself.

Of course, if people know of "your idea" to retire at 30, and then you "don't", probably they still won't understand the difference that you can do whatever you want and they can't.

[jinga nation]

While working, I either listen to Spotify, watch a documentary on the web, or read productive forums like MMM, Bogleheads, and FatWallet Finance. This is common at my IT workplace.
Today I was watching PBS' The Retirement Gamble. A co-worker came over, nice guy, but yells "you're always watching Youtube. Oh, it's that PBS shit".
I told him that there's a reason he'll be working forever, and that I'll probably retire before he can buy a house (we're roughly the same age). I've had to explain closing costs to him, breakdown the numbers by line item. He's planning on buying a single-family home in a hot market.
Most of my co-workers, save 3-4, will be working till 65-67. I'm planning on getting out of this rat race in 7-10 years.
The negativity in my workplace on saving and investing is mind-boggling, but the sanity is that I have a couple of like minded folks.

[CanuckExpat]

We were FI by our late 40's.  I cannot tell you how many times our siblings or friends just could not understand why we made the choices we did.
...
We have many friends and family members who wonder how they will be able to make ends meet when they retire in their late 60's.  We are over ten years into retirement, have travelled the world, do a ton of charitable work, live in a very nice house and they still are bewildered.  It is because we spend on things important to us, not what is important to everyone else and our net worth has increased in retirement.
...
And most importantly to this day if someone makes a comment we just nod and smile. Or shrug.  No clever retort. No explanations.

This person has it figured out, especially the last part. Enjoy your retirement

[Gone Fishing]

Sorry to hear they are giving you a hard time.  At 24, some are still very much children. I'd look around for some more mature friends while you are waiting for the naysayers to grow up a bit.

When I was in my early 20's, I declared I was going to stop working full time by 35.  The numbers were a bit off, I was planning an 8% withdrawal rate on $300k (which was probably more believable despite being wrong), but the intent was not.  Fortunately, my friends were good natured and did not give me too hard of a time, but if they had, it probably would have just spurred me on, as I am one of those types.

As it is, I should be able to beat my investment goal by around 3x and will come in under 35 as well if everything goes as planned.  It works, and even if it doesn't you'll still be far better off than those around you.

Just stick with it, as some would say, "the proof will be in the pudding"!   

[Wilson Hall]

Get angry kid ---- fuck them!

At least that is what I would do  ---- you do what you want.

I don't hate these people lol... just a little irritated at the lack of support... and also not much of a show off type of person

So, I hope I don't come across as a self-righteous geezer. But:

In my own life experience, it is easier to ignore and discount others' opinions and need to criticize, the older I get. Not sure if that is true for everyone, but I think back to younger me, and she would be a lot more bothered by others' need to criticize.  Present me doesn't give a god damn.

I know I'm new here, but I love you guys.

Ha -- we love you, too! The sooner anyone manages to not organize their life based on others' expectations, the better, in my mind.

Welcome to intellectual independence, my friend.

Thanks, Kris! It feels great, and I didn't know that the way I'd been living for years might be considered Mustachian, but the posts here only bolster my resolve. This year I'm putting away roughly half my take-home pay, not including what my employer puts into my pension, and I don't feel like I'm sacrificing terribly.

[Financial.Velociraptor]

People told me I was full of it for about 6 years.  People belittled me for driving my Chevy-Paid-For while they all had new BMW or Mercedes (still do ~ I'm mighty smug if I happen to text them at 830 AM on a Monday though!)

I went FIRE 5OCT2012 and they still have the same attitude (most of them.)  Over time, a very small number will start to hint they'd like to know more about how you did it.  Most of those will say it is impossible but they will make tiny changes.

You just keep your nose to the grindstone.  I can't tell you how good it feels to get up naturally at 7:30 AM without an alarm every Monday morning because you are excited about the day.  Living well is the best revenge.

[MountainManMustache]

Two things to remember:

1) people close to you want you to do well…just not always better than they feel they are doing themselves
2) it's not someone else that makes someone afraid, it's what they know about themselves inside that makes them afraid (paraphrased Clint Eastwood quote)

Net is, nobody else will be as happy as you are on FIRE plans or realization…don't forget that your happiness is most important to you, cherish it and it will flow outward to those around you whom you love.

[Spiffsome]

I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing this. Like a poster above said, there are very few normative cues in our society for someone who wants to earn hard and save hard early in life so they can kick back later.

We're currently 8 years out from FIRE and my husband has told just about all of his long-term friends. They've mostly been polite and non-committal, and I think there are two reasons why. First, DH is notoriously frugal in his circle from his days trying to make it in acting. Second, there are a number of features in our lifestyle that make it easy for other people to think of us as 'not like them' - we don't drink, we don't smoke and we don't have kids. I think that all of these things make it easier for other people to put us in a category as 'different' so we're not showing them up as much. On top of that, we've been living frugally for so long that our friendship circle is now made up of people who will happily show up for a board games evening with home-cooked meal and take home eggs and vegetables from our garden. If your peer group is still in the 'restaurant, bars, shopping' mindset of recreation, their reaction will likely be different.

I hope you find a peer group (IRL; online support is fine but not always sufficient) that understands what you're trying to do.

[mm1970]

My advice?  Stop talking about it completely.

Best things to do is to not advertise your plans.

Don't engage.  Come and engage here.

I get where these guys are coming from but I completely disagree with the advice. I don't advertise early retirement at work for career reasons, but in social settings I never hide it. Here's why: I figure there's a small chance mentioning it will do a ton of good to somebody I like, and if someone gives me shit I can always let it roll off my back.

I've been doing the Mustache thing for four years now and I've probably got six or seven close friends on board - partially because we all valued some of the same things before any of us found the site, and partially because the blog and the productive habits spread from one of us to another. Maybe in a decade we'll all live next door to each other in Belize, but in the meantime it also means I get a ton of positive reinforcement. A good friend texted me for a double date earlier today, to name just the most recent example, and he was thinking we all grill out at his house rather than blow a day's salary at Buca Carrabba Garden or some equally forgettable hole. My friends use the library, notice really cool free things to do around town, and let me know the interesting things to watch for at the ethnic grocery store. When Mustachianism jumps from something you think about on the forum here to one of your social circles, I think it gets WAY easier to stay committed to the cause.

But there are also the ones who aren't on board. If somebody were to give me a hard time about keeping grocery costs down, I think I'd enthusiastically tell them that now I'm only eating lentils topped with lentils as a result of their thoughtful criticism and have gotten down to ten cents a month in food costs - or talk up one of the luxuries I do consume, like the ridiculously good homemade iced latte I'm drinking as I type this. A few of my friends have made me the the butt of the occasional recurring joke, but I can always turn it from a comment that has its roots in defensiveness into something that's amusing for everybody and not a criticism of my lifestyle. It's not as hard as you might think.

Note, by "don't engage", I mean with the people who are mocking him and being negative.

I've mentioned my frugality, and linked MMM on my facebook page, and talked about it with friends.  If I was treated badly and mocked, I would not engage and change the subject.  Happy to continue talking about it if it is received nicely.

[frugalecon]

Someone in the thread stated that the naysaying flares up again at actual retirement time. I wonder if it actually gets worse at that point, with people telling you that you will end up impoverished and miserable, living on the dole and begging to be a Walmart greeter. It seems that at that point you really wouldn't have much in common with your old posse, so it would be easy to cut them loose, but I could imagine a gamma ray burst of negative feedback.