Author Topic: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism  (Read 8309 times)

BlueHouse

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Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« on: May 08, 2014, 08:51:34 AM »
I bought something frivolous and unnecessary.  It cannot be returned. 

Is it poor etiquette to discuss it?  Is it bragging?  I don't think I want advice on the situation because I don't think there's anything I can do about it.  I could sell it, but then I'd have to put money out to buy a less frivolous replacement version.  I'm really not asking for support like at AA.  So what does one do when they fall off the FI wagon?

Do I just keep my mouth shut and move on?  Or is it okay to cop to it in an appropriate discussion?  I feel like a heel in more than one way.   


BPA

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2014, 09:00:10 AM »
ha ha ha ha

I am sorry to laugh, but understand the issue.

Have to say that there are times when I wonder if the people who post here actually read the blog because of what they post as far as consumerism goes.

But...we are still consumers even if we consume less than the norm.

Do you feel guilty?  Is reassurance that all of your frugal efforts will not be in vain because of one purchase what you need?

Everyone needs to live their lives according to their own convictions and values.  Certainly a one-off frivolous purchase is not the end of the frugal world.  I've done it before.  I will probably do it again.  But overall, I am comfortable with my level of consumerism. 

So, I won't offer a face-punch unless you want one.

dragoncar

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2014, 03:35:43 PM »
Are you talking about forum etiquette or something else?  Just tell us already, and I'm sure you'll find out how we feel!

lifejoy

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2014, 05:20:30 PM »
Not sure what you're asking for us to do. Just out with it, I say! :)

C. K.

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2014, 01:14:43 PM »
Figure out what you want your life to look like, then spend accordingly. It is fine that this one nonrefundable purchase is outside of your goals. Just know that you might have to make up for it in some way to get on track again.                                                                                  Don't allow its presence to become a symbol of failure; you bought it to use it, I assume. Do so and enjoy.     
« Last Edit: May 09, 2014, 01:22:25 PM by C. K. »

BlueHouse

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2014, 01:53:03 PM »
Are you talking about forum etiquette or something else?  Just tell us already, and I'm sure you'll find out how we feel!
I already owned up to a few in some other discussions (most anti-mustachian things) - to save you the trouble, my last stupid purchase was overpriced light bulbs.  But I keep doing things that are not getting me to my goal, and I'm not sure whether I should "confess" to keep myself honest or whether that just turns into "look what I have". 

I was talking to a friend about MMM and trying to live frugally and she laughed in my face and said "You?!?!"  I want to.  I really really want to, but maybe I'm just not that person yet.  And if I'm not, then I don't feel like I'm helping anyone by posting about my experiences.  I do know that reading about others' trials and tribulations helps me to see things I didn't even realize might be problems.  I'm out of control and trying to reign it back in.  I'm living great for Plan A, but I don't really have a Plan B yet. 

Thanks, I think I figured it out.  I'm going to keep my mouth shut and listen and learn.  I'll continue to make small changes and when I'm ready for the meaningful ones, then at least I'll know how to do it. 

Thanks for the comment everyone!



Heart of Tin

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2014, 02:11:45 PM »
On the other hand, it was only $380 according to your post history. It sounds like you're fixating too harshly on such a small sum. How much are you saving every month? Surely it's more than $380. Definitely evaluate future purchases with a heavier hand, but don't beat yourself up over such a small mistake. Mistakes happen. MMM himself learned a $150,000 lesson from one of his mistakes (http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/02/01/mr-money-mustaches-big-mistake/). Learn from it, and move on.

marty998

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2014, 04:21:43 PM »
Replace 'frivolous' with smoking or sugar or alcohol and it sounds like you are just trying to beat any other addiction and having a few relapses along the way.

Think about what is triggering these impulses to buy stuff. Then think of ways to not be able to buy it when you get the urge (e.g. leave the wallet at home, sweep all cash out of your bank accounts, cut your credit card with a pair of scissiors etc).

HairyUpperLip

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2014, 04:38:25 PM »
I think being honest and being able to vent anonymously is a good thing. 

Erica/NWEdible

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2014, 05:18:49 PM »
Were they LED light bulbs? Because we dropped a few hundred on some LEDs when they were really well priced at costco and the math said they would sufficiently reduce our electricity consumption to "pay out" at less than two years. There can be a fine line between frivolous and investment. On the other hand, if they were like, Halloween blacklights so you can CSI your own sheets or something....yeah...take your facepunches and move on. ;)

jnik

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #11 on: May 10, 2014, 07:10:33 AM »
I hang out here for continuous reinforcement of Mustachianism, sort of an innoculation against what I see most of the rest of the day. People posting "I did this stupid and this is why it's stupid, " the group meeting thing, does actually help my mindset.

I suggest you also reread two posts for reminders that one, it's a journey not a destination (so don't be hard on yourself that you're not "there" yet), and two, part of the goal here is to get enough financial independence and personal resourcefulness that you can recover from mistakes.

BlueHouse

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #12 on: May 10, 2014, 08:09:28 AM »
Thanks guys.  I appreciate getting a reprieve and now I won't have to silence myself. 
Yes, they're LEDs, but they replaced CFLs, so I don't think I'm buying significant efficiency.  I am buying the ability to dim and time, which I like for security purposes, but in reality, it's just unneeded. 
Your comments made me feel so much better and you're right.  This will be a continuous process for me and I guess I will have to treat it like an addiction (that stinks because I'm a reformed smoker and I hate addictions!)  I won't even drink coffee because I hate the feeling of "needing" something. 

Thanks for the intervention!

sleepyguy

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #13 on: May 10, 2014, 11:44:59 AM »
Hehe, I just replaced my entire basement of GU10s to LEDs.  I smurk sometimes when I decide to turn them all on (for no reason) and say to myself "hehe, all this was equivalent to turning on 2 lights before".  LoL, then i quickly turn them all off :)

But back to topic... if it's not something too regular and you don't have any crazy debts or your job is on the cutting block, then I say no harm no foul.


Were they LED light bulbs? Because we dropped a few hundred on some LEDs when they were really well priced at costco and the math said they would sufficiently reduce our electricity consumption to "pay out" at less than two years. There can be a fine line between frivolous and investment. On the other hand, if they were like, Halloween blacklights so you can CSI your own sheets or something....yeah...take your facepunches and move on. ;)

LalsConstant

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #14 on: May 10, 2014, 12:43:11 PM »
Eh, so what?

You didn't go into debt for it did you?

It apparently has a function, you just thought it was worth your time to have a nice one.

If having a nice one is more important to you than the other things you could do with the money, what's the problem?

I like having expensive computers.  It will cost me another 5 months of working at my current salary to meet my wants.  Strikes me as worth it.  Others would disagree.  I don't think either of us is wrong.

BlueHouse

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2014, 12:38:26 PM »

But back to topic... if it's not something too regular and you don't have any crazy debts or your job is on the cutting block, then I say no harm no foul.


I'm a consultant so job is always on the cutting block. Rates are adjusted to compensate for that, but lifestyle has been creeping up to match adjusted rates.   Trying to hold back lifestyle creep.

MooseOutFront

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2014, 12:45:41 PM »
I replaced our fluorescent Hollywood bulbs with LEDs and did some airhumping for the great return on investment that is sure to get me.  Then I ran the numbers for replacing these ugly pig wiener looking CFLs with LEDs and the numbers just don't work out yet.  This made me sad.

BlueHouse

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2014, 12:53:09 PM »
ugly pig wiener looking CFLs
Thank you.  Just thank you. 
{+ 10 years on life due to laughing so hard.}

Basenji

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2014, 01:31:59 PM »
I replaced our fluorescent Hollywood bulbs with LEDs and did some airhumping for the great return on investment that is sure to get me.  Then I ran the numbers for replacing these ugly pig wiener looking CFLs with LEDs and the numbers just don't work out yet.  This made me sad.

God I love you people.

Were they LED light bulbs? Because we dropped a few hundred on some LEDs when they were really well priced at costco and the math said they would sufficiently reduce our electricity consumption to "pay out" at less than two years. There can be a fine line between frivolous and investment. On the other hand, if they were like, Halloween blacklights so you can CSI your own sheets or something....yeah...take your facepunches and move on. ;)

Spit take on that one! LOL

MrsPete

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2014, 08:15:04 AM »
Is it something you could afford?
Is it something that will bring you enjoyment?
Is this something you do on a very infrequent basis? 

If so, don't sweat it.  What's the point of accumulating money if you can't occasionally have something that you want . . . just because you want it?  Every single purchase doesn't have to be carefully calculated and entered into the ledger -- as long as your overall spending habits fit into your long-term plans. 

Cassie

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Re: Proper etiquette for anti-mustachianism
« Reply #20 on: May 20, 2014, 05:20:45 PM »
Since you said your life style inflation was creeping up maybe you just need to examine everything & see where some painless cuts could occur. Sometimes this creep occurs mindlessly & once you realize it you can adjust back down.  Recently I needed a raised dog food dish & the first thing I did was look on the internet but the size/height I needed was expensive $45.00. Then I went in the backyard & got a cinder block to put the bowl on but it was ugly in my nice living room.  Pretty soon I covered it with a nice lace doily I already owned.  Sometimes my first thought is to throw $ at a problem instead of thinking outside of the box.