This reminds me of a few years ago when my sister (16 years old than me) received a large Social Security disability check for back payment from the time she had first filed until it was finally approved. It was about $16,000. She had no money (never had).
I offered to take the check, put it in my credit union and pay all her bills for her plus give her a monthly allowance in order to make it last as long as it could. This would also stop her grown children from asking her for money (because they wouldn't dare ask me). She was going to start receiving monthly disability checks after that, too.
Rather than letting me do that for her, she took the check to one of those check cashing places that charged her 10% ($1,600!) and put the remainder on a debit card. She then blew all of the money before the month was over and before she got her first regular monthly disability check, she called asking to borrow $200 until her check came in.
Seriously. I am still amazed whenever I think about that. How can one person make so many bad decision? And how can those businesses think it's okay to take advantage of stupid people just because they will fall for it? I just shake my head....
Ugh. Sounds like my stepdaughter. We have given her money on many occasions, which she always blows through in a heartbeat despite our suggestions that she actually try to think of the big picture and start saving for potential emergencies.
Finally, we realized that giving her money was just enabling her and we needed to stop. We told her we were done. And then she called and asked my husband for money for something that we knew for a fact was a lie. He told her no. She threw a fit and hasn't talked to us since. Guess we know how much she cares about us.
Sorry to hijack.
What is it with family and money management? Kris, you're on the right side cutting her off.
I saw my brother (3 years older) for the first time in 3 years at my wedding (which he left early, and whose flight was paid for by our father). Three years ago when I was still in college, my mom and I flew out to see him. He had a full time job in the military. I spent a few hundred on a plane ticket and we split a cheap hotel room, but including everything, the trip probably ran me about $500 which came out of my savings and part-time campus job. On day 1, he shows up, we go out, Mom treats, Mom gives him check for gas since he will be driving us for the next 3-4 days, which he has taken off work.
Day 2, after a few hours of trying to get in touch, we finally leave around 11:30am and walk for lunch. Brother finally calls around 4pm, having "overslept". He comes to meet us, arriving sometime around 5, we eat dinner, I treat at a nice restaurant.
Day 3, more of the same. We go ahead and rent a car so we can explore other areas in the next few days. Brother shows up for dinner again. He feels "really bad he can't treat his mom and his sister to dinner". He then orders surf & turf at Joe's Crab Shack, 2 beers, and dessert. Mom pays. I am livid.
Day 4, more of the same. I pay for dinner, this time at a Smashburger as I'm running out of funds.
Day 5, he drives us around, showing us nearby areas. Evening, my mom pays for dinner, we are carpooling, and he says he's about out of gas. He'll need more money. My mom politely refuses, reminded him he received a check 4 days ago, and that was on the condition he would drive and that we could forgo renting a car. He throws a fit and yells at her. "Do you want me to just break down on the side of the road? It's almost on empty!"
Basically, he played my mom for money, mooched off both of us for dinner 5 nights in a row (only showing up late in the day, having no restraint in what he ordered/ate), and was totally unavailable to hang with us other than to eat. Wtf do you do to make $100 of gas disappear in 4 days? You go "off roading". So he'd leave after dinner, go drive his truck in the mud, then sleep until 3-4pm. Rinse, repeat. This was the first time I'd seen him in 2 years after he got kicked out of the house (following high school graduation) for lying, stealing, general manipulation.
tl;dr: If you have a sibling that doesn't try to manipulate you for money, that's awesome, because fuck that. Tip of the iceberg, here, too.
Yay group therapy.