Author Topic: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)  (Read 255458 times)

nouveauRiche

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #750 on: April 28, 2019, 09:02:12 PM »
This has always bugged me whenever I even vaguely consider such a vehicle for a second.  Give me at least a couple knobs so I can adjust the radio volume or air conditioning without looking.

Yes!  This!  A thousand times this!

I thought I was the only one.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #751 on: April 28, 2019, 10:13:33 PM »
This has always bugged me whenever I even vaguely consider such a vehicle for a second.  Give me at least a couple knobs so I can adjust the radio volume or air conditioning without looking.

Yes!  This!  A thousand times this!

I thought I was the only one.

You’re not the only one.  In fact ask any HCI (human computer interaction) designer and they will show you all the research that it’s safer and more satisfying.  Not sure how such bad designs make it out of the design stage but I bet it has something to do with money.  And that being said, a lot of car makers are doing a really good job including the tactile aspect (I really like the Mazda car interface) in something that has become completely computer controlled

marty998

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #752 on: April 29, 2019, 01:51:36 AM »
This has always bugged me whenever I even vaguely consider such a vehicle for a second.  Give me at least a couple knobs so I can adjust the radio volume or air conditioning without looking.

Yes!  This!  A thousand times this!

I thought I was the only one.

You’re not the only one.  In fact ask any HCI (human computer interaction) designer and they will show you all the research that it’s safer and more satisfying.  Not sure how such bad designs make it out of the design stage but I bet it has something to do with money.  And that being said, a lot of car makers are doing a really good job including the tactile aspect (I really like the Mazda car interface) in something that has become completely computer controlled

I thought to myself "how wonderful is it that car makers are taking into consideration the needs of the blind and vision impaired drivers".

Then I had to slap myself for being so utterly stupid.

economista

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #753 on: April 29, 2019, 07:48:50 AM »
This has always bugged me whenever I even vaguely consider such a vehicle for a second.  Give me at least a couple knobs so I can adjust the radio volume or air conditioning without looking.

Yes!  This!  A thousand times this!

I thought I was the only one.

You’re not the only one.  In fact ask any HCI (human computer interaction) designer and they will show you all the research that it’s safer and more satisfying.  Not sure how such bad designs make it out of the design stage but I bet it has something to do with money.  And that being said, a lot of car makers are doing a really good job including the tactile aspect (I really like the Mazda car interface) in something that has become completely computer controlled

I thought to myself "how wonderful is it that car makers are taking into consideration the needs of the blind and vision impaired drivers".

Then I had to slap myself for being so utterly stupid.

Maybe not visually impaired drivers (LOL) but my husband is blind and hates when he can’t adjust the AC, radio, etc from the passenger seat. We just got a Prius and there are no knobs at all - just flat buttons. Tactile dots make a HUGE difference! We have them all over our house since microwaves, stoves, fridges, etc all just have flat panels now without any distinguishable buttons.

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #754 on: April 29, 2019, 12:05:41 PM »
This has always bugged me whenever I even vaguely consider such a vehicle for a second.  Give me at least a couple knobs so I can adjust the radio volume or air conditioning without looking.

Yes!  This!  A thousand times this!

I thought I was the only one.

You’re not the only one.  In fact ask any HCI (human computer interaction) designer and they will show you all the research that it’s safer and more satisfying.  Not sure how such bad designs make it out of the design stage but I bet it has something to do with money.  And that being said, a lot of car makers are doing a really good job including the tactile aspect (I really like the Mazda car interface) in something that has become completely computer controlled

I thought to myself "how wonderful is it that car makers are taking into consideration the needs of the blind and vision impaired drivers".

Then I had to slap myself for being so utterly stupid.

Maybe not visually impaired drivers (LOL) but my husband is blind and hates when he can’t adjust the AC, radio, etc from the passenger seat. We just got a Prius and there are no knobs at all - just flat buttons. Tactile dots make a HUGE difference! We have them all over our house since microwaves, stoves, fridges, etc all just have flat panels now without any distinguishable buttons.

I installed a ceiling fan with a wall mounted remote control for the light and fan, after a few weeks I had to add tactile dots to it as I could not find the light button in the dark. 


dragoncar

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #755 on: April 29, 2019, 12:23:43 PM »

Maybe not visually impaired drivers (LOL) but my husband is blind and hates when he can’t adjust the AC, radio, etc from the passenger seat. We just got a Prius and there are no knobs at all - just flat buttons. Tactile dots make a HUGE difference! We have them all over our house since microwaves, stoves, fridges, etc all just have flat panels now without any distinguishable buttons.

I haven't been in a Model 3 or Prius, but I took a look at the pictures and damn.  I feel like Tesla and Toyota should know better.  Honda and Mazda seem to know what's up.  I don't really ride in new cars that much so don't have a reference point beyond that.

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #756 on: April 29, 2019, 01:16:34 PM »
I thought to myself "how wonderful is it that car makers are taking into consideration the needs of the blind and vision impaired drivers".

Then I had to slap myself for being so utterly stupid.

Give it a few more years. It'll happen and be routine.

DadJokes

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #757 on: April 29, 2019, 02:26:01 PM »
I thought to myself "how wonderful is it that car makers are taking into consideration the needs of the blind and vision impaired drivers".

Then I had to slap myself for being so utterly stupid.

Are you telling me this wasn't real?

ysette9

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #758 on: May 02, 2019, 10:07:02 PM »
Recently I was doing research on subsidized childcare options in our area on behalf of someone else. In doing so I came across Head Start, which the website clearly specified was for very low income families. For a family of four, the max yearly household income to qualify is $25,750. We have a Head Start located in a converted house across the street from us. I've never thought much of it except for the fact that sometimes I have to ask people to move their vehicle out of MY DRIVEWAY in the morning when they park there for drop off. In any case, I caught drop off this morning as I was leaving the house and realized that most of the parents were dropping kids off in gigantic SUVs. I can't square how this is possible, especially in an area where an average apartment starts at $3k a month.

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #759 on: May 03, 2019, 08:37:29 AM »
Are they late model SUVs? I see plenty of 15-20 year old SUVs that keep on going... Not alot of salt on the roads here.

Regardless these are low MPG vehicles which do not benefit low income people...

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #760 on: May 03, 2019, 12:53:32 PM »
Are they late model SUVs? I see plenty of 15-20 year old SUVs that keep on going... Not alot of salt on the roads here.

Regardless these are low MPG vehicles which do not benefit low income people...

They probably got the SUVs through “Bedpans For Families,” a nonprofit organization that gives free SUVs to low income parents.  Don’t worry about the MPG because they can use the Exxon’s new “Mobile Options” program, which offers subsidizes at the pump to anyone who qualifies for food stamps or Medicaid

mm1970

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #761 on: May 03, 2019, 01:34:10 PM »
Recently I was doing research on subsidized childcare options in our area on behalf of someone else. In doing so I came across Head Start, which the website clearly specified was for very low income families. For a family of four, the max yearly household income to qualify is $25,750. We have a Head Start located in a converted house across the street from us. I've never thought much of it except for the fact that sometimes I have to ask people to move their vehicle out of MY DRIVEWAY in the morning when they park there for drop off. In any case, I caught drop off this morning as I was leaving the house and realized that most of the parents were dropping kids off in gigantic SUVs. I can't square how this is possible, especially in an area where an average apartment starts at $3k a month.
Can't speak for the Bay Area, but here in So Cal...
most of the families eligible for Head Start live in multi-family housing.

So, the family itself may make less than whatever the cutoff is.
But they are likely living in an apartment or home with extended family or many other families.

By combining incomes, they can afford rent + a gigantic SUV (often needed to carry around all those people.)  I seem to see either big SUVs (7 or 8 seaters) or old minivans.

In any event, approx 20-30% of our students in our elementary school are categorized as homeless.  This includes living on the streets, in cars, in a shelter, or in a house/apartment with more than 1 family unit.  I suspect that most fall into that last category.

ysette9

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #762 on: May 03, 2019, 01:58:25 PM »
Interesting. Thanks for the info.

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #763 on: May 04, 2019, 03:21:59 AM »
I think I need to post about my neighbour.

She put her house up for sale in September, at a higher price than any house on the street has ever sold for. It's no nicer than any of the others, just another 2 bed terrace in a row of 2 bed terraces. Still on the market. I think it is because she bought at the top of the market and thinks that she should make a profit now 13 years later.

She always has an Audi outside the house, and replaces it when it gets to 3 years old. She uses it once a week to do her supermarket shop, and it never moves otherwise. She could just get online supermarket delivery for £4 each week. She is rude to other people on the street for their "old" cars. She is especially rude to anyone that rents their house.

She had her gutters cleaned, and asked the guy to do mine as well. When she mentioned it, I asked how much I owed her, but she refused payment. She then later accused me of not being able to afford to live in my house. Also, apparently it is my fault that some other neighbours smoke weed. I cannot follow the logic.

She is a single lady, living by herself in a two bedroom house. She has enough stuff that she has two sheds outside to store all the extras. Boyfriend visits some weekends, then smokes outside in the street and coughs like he is about to cough up a lung at 7am, just under my bedroom window.

I really hope the place sells soon.

Cassie

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #764 on: May 04, 2019, 11:04:08 AM »
T, you have a bizarre neighbor. Good that she didn’t expect payment because what she did is really nervy.

SwordGuy

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #765 on: May 04, 2019, 11:05:28 AM »
Boyfriend visits some weekends, then smokes outside in the street and coughs like he is about to cough up a lung at 7am, just under my bedroom window.

Put a flower pot in the window.    Open the window before smoker arrives in the morning.

When the coughing and hacking starts, it's time for a gusty "Gardyloo!" with a big pot of water.  Miss the flower pot.

And people say my knowledge of medieval customs has no relevance in the modern day...

Probably best not to shout Gardyloo as that implies intent instead of accident...



Hula Hoop

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #766 on: May 05, 2019, 06:24:19 AM »
That is one bizarre neighbor.  This probably belongs over on the work thread but one of my colleagues drives her scooter (vespa) everywhere including work and so does her teenaged son.  She lives right in the center of our city.  When she goes on vacation she usually takes the train to get where she is going or she flies.  Yet she owns a car that just sits on the street gathering dust.  She was lamenting her lack of money or retirement savings and I said "why don't you sell your car since you never use it?"  and she responded "but you HAVE to own a car! What if there was an emergency?"  I pointed out to her that in an emergency, she should call an ambulance.

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #767 on: May 05, 2019, 12:16:56 PM »
Recently I was doing research on subsidized childcare options in our area on behalf of someone else. In doing so I came across Head Start, which the website clearly specified was for very low income families. For a family of four, the max yearly household income to qualify is $25,750. We have a Head Start located in a converted house across the street from us. I've never thought much of it except for the fact that sometimes I have to ask people to move their vehicle out of MY DRIVEWAY in the morning when they park there for drop off. In any case, I caught drop off this morning as I was leaving the house and realized that most of the parents were dropping kids off in gigantic SUVs. I can't square how this is possible, especially in an area where an average apartment starts at $3k a month.
Why not just go across the street and ask for a fee schedule and how subsidized rates work?  You may find out that only a small number of students are highly subsidized there, and others pay full rate.   That's how it works, here.

ysette9

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #768 on: May 05, 2019, 03:59:31 PM »
Recently I was doing research on subsidized childcare options in our area on behalf of someone else. In doing so I came across Head Start, which the website clearly specified was for very low income families. For a family of four, the max yearly household income to qualify is $25,750. We have a Head Start located in a converted house across the street from us. I've never thought much of it except for the fact that sometimes I have to ask people to move their vehicle out of MY DRIVEWAY in the morning when they park there for drop off. In any case, I caught drop off this morning as I was leaving the house and realized that most of the parents were dropping kids off in gigantic SUVs. I can't square how this is possible, especially in an area where an average apartment starts at $3k a month.
Why not just go across the street and ask for a fee schedule and how subsidized rates work?  You may find out that only a small number of students are highly subsidized there, and others pay full rate.   That's how it works, here.
The info was all available on the website and they were very clear about the income requirements.

Goldielocks

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #769 on: May 05, 2019, 08:11:06 PM »
Recently I was doing research on subsidized childcare options in our area on behalf of someone else. In doing so I came across Head Start, which the website clearly specified was for very low income families. For a family of four, the max yearly household income to qualify is $25,750. We have a Head Start located in a converted house across the street from us. I've never thought much of it except for the fact that sometimes I have to ask people to move their vehicle out of MY DRIVEWAY in the morning when they park there for drop off. In any case, I caught drop off this morning as I was leaving the house and realized that most of the parents were dropping kids off in gigantic SUVs. I can't square how this is possible, especially in an area where an average apartment starts at $3k a month.
Why not just go across the street and ask for a fee schedule and how subsidized rates work?  You may find out that only a small number of students are highly subsidized there, and others pay full rate.   That's how it works, here.
The info was all available on the website and they were very clear about the income requirements.
oops, I wasn't clear.  The ones by me are a mix of "head start" and "not head start" in the same class/ building.  If you go look at the "head start" list and qualifiers, you see all the prices / income, etc. for Head start..   But there are 2/3 of the class mixed in that are "not head start"...paying a different rate... or are located in a second classroom in the same building, etc.

ysette9

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #770 on: May 05, 2019, 09:39:27 PM »
Ah, i see.
In my area it is exclusively Head Start. They do have some other programs for less low-income families and those are also listed on the website, but separately. I don’t know the income of the people I am passing on the info to, so I will let them sort through the qualifications.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #771 on: May 06, 2019, 01:04:57 AM »
That is one bizarre neighbor.  This probably belongs over on the work thread but one of my colleagues drives her scooter (vespa) everywhere including work and so does her teenaged son.  She lives right in the center of our city.  When she goes on vacation she usually takes the train to get where she is going or she flies.  Yet she owns a car that just sits on the street gathering dust.  She was lamenting her lack of money or retirement savings and I said "why don't you sell your car since you never use it?"  and she responded "but you HAVE to own a car! What if there was an emergency?"  I pointed out to her that in an emergency, she should call an ambulance.

And the day there is an emergency, the car won't start because the battery is flat. This often happens to people who use a car only once a year.

One of my earlier colleagues also owned a car, because he wanted to use a car during his summer vacation. The rest of the year he would cycle. His car battery was typically flat.

TomTX

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #772 on: May 06, 2019, 06:48:01 PM »
My neighbor just had a milk shake from Sonic delivered via Postmates.  The Sonic is a little less than a mile away.  The Postmates driver parked right behind her car to make the delivery.  $3.99 delivery fee.  The mind boggles.
Related, not my neighbor but my cubicle neighbor at work, has multiple times offered to buy me lunch because he needs to spend like $4 more dollars to meet the minimum for free delivery from Cluster Truck. 

The woman who lives across the street from me had late night deliveries from Insomniac Cookies (cold milk and freshly baked cookies delivered until 4am) on a regular basis when she was pregnant.  I feel like she gets a pass?

I used Postmates once while I was working, and was sick and therefore stuck in a hotel room. 
It cost me $23 to get a burrito and drink from Chipotle. Something that usually costs like $10.
(I just checked the reciept: $1.99 small cart fee (I could have added chips for this same amount, but I really didn't want them); $2.02 service fee, $5.99 delivery fee, $3.01 tip).

On expense account; whatever. I needed food; I really did not want to try to get up, and even walk to the subway across the street.
Doing this for something you could go out and get yourself.  It boggles the mind.

So, I had a conference at a Disney "resort hotel" and conference center. Miles from anywhere else, and I didn't have a car. All food on property is Disney, with Disney prices. On expense account, but still. Choices were limited.

I signed up for Shipt with the free initial 30 days of no delivery fee, got groceries delivered 4x. Nice big green Florida avocados. Organic carrots. Real fresh fruit. Real dried cherries with no added sugar.  Whole grain fiber cereal. A pound of pecan halves to have on the cereal. Half gallon of organic milk. A nice prepared salad. Lots of roasted snacking nuts. Teas. Etc.

ObOverTheFence: The new next door neighbors throw around a lot of cash. Just bought the house for ~$300k, on the high end for this neighborhood and one of the largest houses already. They drive a Tesla Model X (which I would love to have) - the house is in decent shape, but they're going to rip out all the flooring, cabinets, etc. Put a large addition on the back. Replace the fences. Re-landscape. Put up at least one large shed. 

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #773 on: May 06, 2019, 07:58:19 PM »
Recently I was doing research on subsidized childcare options in our area on behalf of someone else. In doing so I came across Head Start, which the website clearly specified was for very low income families. For a family of four, the max yearly household income to qualify is $25,750. We have a Head Start located in a converted house across the street from us. I've never thought much of it except for the fact that sometimes I have to ask people to move their vehicle out of MY DRIVEWAY in the morning when they park there for drop off. In any case, I caught drop off this morning as I was leaving the house and realized that most of the parents were dropping kids off in gigantic SUVs. I can't square how this is possible, especially in an area where an average apartment starts at $3k a month.
Why not just go across the street and ask for a fee schedule and how subsidized rates work?  You may find out that only a small number of students are highly subsidized there, and others pay full rate.   That's how it works, here.
The info was all available on the website and they were very clear about the income requirements.
oops, I wasn't clear.  The ones by me are a mix of "head start" and "not head start" in the same class/ building.  If you go look at the "head start" list and qualifiers, you see all the prices / income, etc. for Head start..   But there are 2/3 of the class mixed in that are "not head start"...paying a different rate... or are located in a second classroom in the same building, etc.

This reminds me of the in-laws who have a now 10 year old son with autism. FIL is CFO at a small company, makes good money. When their son was 2 or 3 they noticed developmental delays and through the federal early intervention program (ran by states) he got special therapy, house visits, and free (or nearly free, they might have paid $100 total out of pocket) entry to the early head start program even though they normally would have been (way) income ineligible. Step MIL commented at the time how glad she was that she still drove her very old and crappy Jeep when FIL is at work, so that she wasn’t dropping BIL off at headstart, normally a low income program, in a nice SUV. At the time I thought it was weird she would feel weird dropping BIL off in their SUV, but I guess now I understand. :)

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #774 on: May 06, 2019, 10:19:07 PM »
Recently I was doing research on subsidized childcare options in our area on behalf of someone else. In doing so I came across Head Start, which the website clearly specified was for very low income families. For a family of four, the max yearly household income to qualify is $25,750. We have a Head Start located in a converted house across the street from us. I've never thought much of it except for the fact that sometimes I have to ask people to move their vehicle out of MY DRIVEWAY in the morning when they park there for drop off. In any case, I caught drop off this morning as I was leaving the house and realized that most of the parents were dropping kids off in gigantic SUVs. I can't square how this is possible, especially in an area where an average apartment starts at $3k a month.

Also, foster children qualify for Head Start (regardless of family income) as do pregnant women sometimes.

Cassie

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #775 on: May 07, 2019, 03:37:24 PM »
It makes sense for foster kids to qualify and the foster parents are probably the ones with nice vehicles.

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #776 on: September 02, 2019, 11:53:17 AM »
I live in a great neighborhood and the elementary school is a big draw.  This year the real estate market is absolutely crazy with people swooping in to buy with cash and no contingencies, not even an inspection, and closing within 5 days.  Anything under $300K is gone same day near this school.  2 years ago when I bought I was one of multiple cash offers and had to do an escalation clause.  I got an inspection but did not ask for any fixes or cash allowances based on the findings.  It was a very aggressive market already and it has gotten more heated this summer. 

The house next door is a single family rental of a nice big old house.  Just a week ago a family moved in with little kids and I was very happy to meet them.  The dad said they just moved from another state and are there until they can buy a house locally; he was sort of apologetic about being "merely" renters.  I suggested it is a wise plan to live in this neighborhood a while and get the lay of the land and look for the permanent home from here.  In the meantime the kids will go to that great school.     

Upon introduction the said he really hopes there is a RE market crash so they can afford something.  He apologized for wishing my house would go down in value but I just said I understand, things have been so crazy that it feels like it can get away from you while you bide your time renting.   

The Anti-mustachain thing happened 2 days after moving in--  the dad rolled up in a brand new 2020 pick up truck, having traded his other newish car for it.   It goes together well with the newish large SUV that the mom drives and you know, you HAVE to have the big 4x4 in snow country when you live on the hill, so it was a "required" purchase. They probably have $100K worth of vehicles in the driveway today and I could not help but wonder how long they have delayed their home buying dream with this clown car sukka move.

As with all these stories it is none of my business and I am being judgmental.  Still, it is just not smart and it is not what they said they wanted in the plan.     

I guess I will selfishly benefit from the fact there is a nice family renting next door for a lot longer than they wanted to, and I will be kind and a good neighbor to them. 

PDXTabs

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #777 on: September 02, 2019, 11:59:55 AM »
It makes sense for foster kids to qualify and the foster parents are probably the ones with nice vehicles.

When my kids qualified for head start I didn't even have a car, but I did sometime borrow my mom's car.

Maybe it's grandma with the nice car.

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #778 on: September 06, 2019, 03:36:55 PM »
I live in a great neighborhood...

The house next door is a single family rental of a nice big old house.  Just a week ago a family moved in with little kids and I was very happy to meet them.  ...

As with all these stories it is none of my business and I am being judgmental.  Still, it is just not smart and it is not what they said they wanted in the plan.     

My guess... they are embarassed at being renters, not owners (because bad credit or other setback like overspending all the time), and have wishful thinking about buying a place, and don't want you to think less of them.  Their story is their "save face" fantasy..

What they want is that their neighbors don't look down on them, and that they can lease all the nice fancy things that they desire. 

It seems to me like they have their wish, and having never met you, they did not know they got it by merely moving in next to you, and no white lie  fantasy explanation about being an owner was needed.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #779 on: September 07, 2019, 01:54:10 AM »
I live in a great neighborhood...

The house next door is a single family rental of a nice big old house.  Just a week ago a family moved in with little kids and I was very happy to meet them.  ...

As with all these stories it is none of my business and I am being judgmental.  Still, it is just not smart and it is not what they said they wanted in the plan.     

My guess... they are embarassed at being renters, not owners (because bad credit or other setback like overspending all the time), and have wishful thinking about buying a place, and don't want you to think less of them.  Their story is their "save face" fantasy..

What they want is that their neighbors don't look down on them, and that they can lease all the nice fancy things that they desire. 

It seems to me like they have their wish, and having never met you, they did not know they got it by merely moving in next to you, and no white lie  fantasy explanation about being an owner was needed.

Next year, this might be us (except for the children). We will temporarily move into a rental and we might buy a new(er) car while we live there. And still have 800K-ish in a bank account. You don't know the whole story.

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #780 on: September 08, 2019, 10:49:37 AM »
You don't know the whole story.

We can put that phrase at the end of every single judgmental post and judgmental thread in this forum, from 'Inheritance Drama' to 'Overheard on FB' to 'Mortgage Payoff' arguments, including this one and any specific face-punch-worthy query from an individual.  There are always reasons and we never know what they are unless they are our own.   

We never know the whole story and only go by outward appearances and the seeming discord between words and behaviors. 

Nice neighbors though, sweet kids.  I am sure it will work out for them.     

Misstachian

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #781 on: September 09, 2019, 07:23:05 AM »
Our neighbors are also our next-door landlords, and they are Rich. They have 3 houses in among the top highest COL areas of the country, etc. They have been lovely, generous landlords.

And also a cautionary tale about economic outpatient care and inflating your kids' standard of living. A few years ago their daughter came home for a few weeks. Mid-thirties, hasn't worked in over a decade. (I think there likely have been some mental health challenges there so I don't know the whole picture.) She came over to chat and was really complaining about how her parents felt like because they controlled the purse strings, they got to control her life. She said she was sick of it, couldn't take it anymore, and was determined to control her own life. If she pursued career interests she was intrigued by but her parents didn't support, she said they told her that they would cut off her income from them. "What would you do?" she asked.

I told her I'd try to get a job, any job. She is very smart, and felt overqualified for the positions she had been offered, wasn't offered things she thought she'd like to do, and felt like she was never offered enough money or control. I didn't doubt it, but told her that if I was trying to control my own life, I'd get a job making whatever I could, spend a few months building up an emergency fund, and then move to an apartment I could afford on my own, etc. That way if they cut the cord (on their own or because I insisted), I could afford my life, and if they didn't and wanted to support newfound independence, that money could go to savings.

She laughed. "I could never do that." I didn't understand why! She's smart, talented, seemingly independent-minded, with something of a wild streak. The gist: "My apartment alone is $10,000 a month! I'll never be able to find a NYC apartment with 2 bedrooms, a huge kitchen, a great view, a doorman, and a washer-dryer in such an amazing, trendy location for anything I could afford to pay, so I can never go against their wishes."

I'm pretty sure they despair that she hasn't left the nest, and she despairs that they control her, and from the outside it is sad and frustrating to watch. It is two years later and she has not had a job in that time, though she just applied and was accepted to grad school. I fear it will be hard to go from not having to apply herself to anything she didn't want to for over a decade to seeking an intense degree, but I am really hoping she can do it!

(I thought she had to be exaggerating and there was no way they would pay for a $10k 2 bedroom apartment where a single, non-working adult lived, but then I was talking to the landlord and they were deciding which plane to take to one of the vacation homes. Not "which commercial flight," as I originally assumed. Which of their planes. That gave me a whole new outlook on the level of wealth we were talking about.)

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #782 on: September 17, 2019, 01:07:12 AM »
Which of their planes.

Which of their planes!!!!! You win the thread today!

This is so sad for this woman. So much wasted potential and so many resources poured into someone who is still seemingly unhappy and unfulfilled.

I see that when parents have multiple-planes-level-of-money they can afford to support their child, but this can't be their intended outcome (unless they are Disney villains, they are probably discouraging her from careers that they believe don't suit her or wouldn't make her happy). In these situations, a dollar-matching programme would work far better: the woman can have more and nicer things than her peers but still get the satisfaction of working for them.

prudent_one

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #783 on: October 05, 2019, 11:33:15 AM »
The gist: "My apartment alone is $10,000 a month! I'll never be able to find a NYC apartment with 2 bedrooms, a huge kitchen, a great view, a doorman, and a washer-dryer in such an amazing, trendy location for anything I could afford to pay, so I can never go against their wishes."

And yet she's an unhappy person who is "sick of it, couldn't take it anymore, and was determined to control her own life."  A classic "money doesn't buy happiness" scenario. Addicted to a golden leash.

RFAAOATB

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #784 on: October 06, 2019, 10:26:32 AM »
How does a woman like that attract a rich husband?  If she can’t handle a small apartment, can she handle a spouse with a small paycheck?

2sk22

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #785 on: October 06, 2019, 02:03:57 PM »

(I thought she had to be exaggerating and there was no way they would pay for a $10k 2 bedroom apartment where a single, non-working adult lived, but then I was talking to the landlord and they were deciding which plane to take to one of the vacation homes. Not "which commercial flight," as I originally assumed. Which of their planes. That gave me a whole new outlook on the level of wealth we were talking about.)

I was reminded of this great article in The Atlantic from a few years ago https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/04/secret-fears-of-the-super-rich/308419/

Quote
Taken together, the survey responses make a compelling case that being fantastically wealthy—especially when the wealth is inherited rather than earned—is not a great deal more fulfilling than being merely prosperous.

And another quote

Quote
Enormous wealth takes care of so many day-to-day concerns, that the remaining ones grow that much more frustrating. The rich “want their children to make wise choices,” says Schervish, “because that’s what they can’t control.”
« Last Edit: October 06, 2019, 02:05:48 PM by 2sk22 »

Misstachian

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #786 on: October 06, 2019, 07:28:51 PM »
Which of their planes.

Which of their planes!!!!! You win the thread today!

This is so sad for this woman. So much wasted potential and so many resources poured into someone who is still seemingly unhappy and unfulfilled.

I see that when parents have multiple-planes-level-of-money they can afford to support their child, but this can't be their intended outcome (unless they are Disney villains, they are probably discouraging her from careers that they believe don't suit her or wouldn't make her happy). In these situations, a dollar-matching programme would work far better: the woman can have more and nicer things than her peers but still get the satisfaction of working for them.

I don’t think they’re villains at all, but it sounds like some of the career interests were rejected for lack of prestige. (This is through her filter, though, which probably has an interest in there being reasons she hasn't participated in the workforce, maybe especially when talking to a working parent living in her parents' apartment.)

The gist: "My apartment alone is $10,000 a month! I'll never be able to find a NYC apartment with 2 bedrooms, a huge kitchen, a great view, a doorman, and a washer-dryer in such an amazing, trendy location for anything I could afford to pay, so I can never go against their wishes."

And yet she's an unhappy person who is "sick of it, couldn't take it anymore, and was determined to control her own life."  A classic "money doesn't buy happiness" scenario. Addicted to a golden leash.


Yeah. She seems really, truly unhappy. It’s been years (four?) since this conversation and this autumn is the first forward movement she’s had. I feel almost silly saying it on this site, but her life of leisure does not look appealing. Maybe because it’s unearned leisure? The total lack of purpose and connection makes me feel really sorry for her while also wanting to shake her - she could have spent these years volunteering, taking classes, working any job, and likely been happier.

How does a woman like that attract a rich husband?  If she can’t handle a small apartment, can she handle a spouse with a small paycheck?


Partners have been rejected for lack of wealth; she has noted that she’d like to be a full time mother and expects a partner to provide the life to which she is accustomed.

Not my circus, not my monkeys, just wince-inducing to watch it all from the outside.

Misstachian

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #787 on: October 06, 2019, 07:42:58 PM »

(I thought she had to be exaggerating and there was no way they would pay for a $10k 2 bedroom apartment where a single, non-working adult lived, but then I was talking to the landlord and they were deciding which plane to take to one of the vacation homes. Not "which commercial flight," as I originally assumed. Which of their planes. That gave me a whole new outlook on the level of wealth we were talking about.)

I was reminded of this great article in The Atlantic from a few years ago https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/04/secret-fears-of-the-super-rich/308419/

Quote
Taken together, the survey responses make a compelling case that being fantastically wealthy—especially when the wealth is inherited rather than earned—is not a great deal more fulfilling than being merely prosperous.

And another quote

Quote
Enormous wealth takes care of so many day-to-day concerns, that the remaining ones grow that much more frustrating. The rich “want their children to make wise choices,” says Schervish, “because that’s what they can’t control.”

Fascinating article!

dividend

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #788 on: October 11, 2019, 12:08:59 PM »

(I thought she had to be exaggerating and there was no way they would pay for a $10k 2 bedroom apartment where a single, non-working adult lived, but then I was talking to the landlord and they were deciding which plane to take to one of the vacation homes. Not "which commercial flight," as I originally assumed. Which of their planes. That gave me a whole new outlook on the level of wealth we were talking about.)

I was reminded of this great article in The Atlantic from a few years ago https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/04/secret-fears-of-the-super-rich/308419/

Quote
Taken together, the survey responses make a compelling case that being fantastically wealthy—especially when the wealth is inherited rather than earned—is not a great deal more fulfilling than being merely prosperous.

And another quote

Quote
Enormous wealth takes care of so many day-to-day concerns, that the remaining ones grow that much more frustrating. The rich “want their children to make wise choices,” says Schervish, “because that’s what they can’t control.”

Fascinating article!

That really is an interesting article. 
In a way, some of it discusses reminds me of going clothes shopping for the first time after losing a big chunk of weight.  Suddenly, I was no longer trying to find something that didn't look bad or make me look fat.  Almost everything I put on looked pretty good.  Now I actually have to make good decisions because almost all options are open to me.  And shopping is somehow more stressful because of that.  Maybe there's something to the idea that, when artificial constraints like not having enough money, are removed, we have to confront things and make decisions in a wide open, un-moored, sometimes frightening way.  Add that to the fact that, when given too many choices, paralysis of analysis becomes a real thing. 

Linea_Norway

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #789 on: October 11, 2019, 12:56:37 PM »
DH told me that one of the neighbours has a big car lift in his garage, still unpacked after 4 years that we have seen it. It is a commercial quality device, that must have cost something.

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #790 on: October 16, 2019, 08:43:37 AM »
I want a lift in my garage so much. $3000 more or less.

Freedomin5

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #791 on: November 08, 2019, 02:27:13 AM »
Would you spend money to buy Quantum Entanglement books for toddlers (age 2-6)? Saw this ad on a local buy/sell group. $10/book. Seriously, some people here are a bit intense.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #792 on: November 08, 2019, 04:00:32 AM »
I hate that stupid book series. Someone gave us evolution  for babies. It is both boring for babies and a bad explanation of evolution. Lose-lose. I regard them as expensive gag gifts.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #793 on: November 08, 2019, 05:07:37 AM »
Would you spend money to buy Quantum Entanglement books for toddlers (age 2-6)? Saw this ad on a local buy/sell group. $10/book. Seriously, some people here are a bit intense.

No. Quantum entanglement is a really facinating subject, but hard enough to understand even for adults. No baby material. Aren't babies supposed to be confronted with books about talking bears and rabbits?

stylesjl

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Re: Overheard over the fence (Antimustachian neighbours)
« Reply #794 on: November 10, 2019, 01:43:52 AM »
I hate that stupid book series. Someone gave us evolution  for babies. It is both boring for babies and a bad explanation of evolution. Lose-lose. I regard them as expensive gag gifts.
Should always be careful about giving books on Quantum Physics to a kid. They may end up getting shot!