Overheard on Facebook

[DadJokes]

Post from someone today:

Have to rant. So i worked a 15 hr day on the way home i order jersey mikes through doordash. 4 sandwiches 78.00 with 7.00 tip. It gets there before i got home my daughter excepted it not know what we ordered. Get home its 30.00.worth of chinese. We call doordash refunded our money still have not eaten dinner its 9pm. Call jersey mikes nothing they can do. Call rice box the customer that the order we have is there. So.we talk to him said door dash canceled there order. So 9 pm at night no dinner and someone is enjoying our cheesesteaks.  Never again doordash. Nor we deliver.

$85 to get four sandwiches delivered?

He gets the money refunded and now has free Chinese food. That sounds like an awesome deal to me, but he says down in the comments that they didn’t want Chinese and threw it away. At least he is getting skewered in the comments for being such a spendypants.

[Davnasty]

Post from someone today:

Have to rant. So i worked a 15 hr day on the way home i order jersey mikes through doordash. 4 sandwiches 78.00 with 7.00 tip. It gets there before i got home my daughter excepted it not know what we ordered. Get home its 30.00.worth of chinese. We call doordash refunded our money still have not eaten dinner its 9pm. Call jersey mikes nothing they can do. Call rice box the customer that the order we have is there. So.we talk to him said door dash canceled there order. So 9 pm at night no dinner and someone is enjoying our cheesesteaks.  Never again doordash. Nor we deliver.

$85 to get four sandwiches delivered?

He gets the money refunded and now has free Chinese food. That sounds like an awesome deal to me, but he says down in the comments that they didn’t want Chinese and threw it away. At least he is getting skewered in the comments for being such a spendypants.

...

I keep typing something and then deleting it because there are too many expletives.

And how much does doordash cost? I thought even their Jersey Mike's giant subs are around $10.

ETA: I was mixing up Jimmy John's and Jersey Mike's. Also, the way I wrote this may have been confusing.

[dragoncar]

Post from someone today:

Have to rant. So i worked a 15 hr day on the way home i order jersey mikes through doordash. 4 sandwiches 78.00 with 7.00 tip. It gets there before i got home my daughter excepted it not know what we ordered. Get home its 30.00.worth of chinese. We call doordash refunded our money still have not eaten dinner its 9pm. Call jersey mikes nothing they can do. Call rice box the customer that the order we have is there. So.we talk to him said door dash canceled there order. So 9 pm at night no dinner and someone is enjoying our cheesesteaks.  Never again doordash. Nor we deliver.

$85 to get four sandwiches delivered?

He gets the money refunded and now has free Chinese food. That sounds like an awesome deal to me, but he says down in the comments that they didn’t want Chinese and threw it away. At least he is getting skewered in the comments for being such a spendypants.

I was gonna question the tip amount but then I remembered doordash was caught stealing the tips anyways.  So I guess either way it’s wrong

[AerynLee]

Not on FB but this is as good a place as any to share

While trying to remember if he'd paid his mortgage yet (on the third so not late)

"If I haven't paid it by the 15th I get a phone call from my bank asking if everything's okay and if there's a reason I haven't paid yet. Ask me how I know. In my defense that's only happened like twice in the last three years and the last time I just forgot to pay. It's only a $35 fee if I'm late"

He's owned the house 10 years and I know he's gotten much better at finances in the 5ish years I've known him so I shudder to think of how often it happened before the "last three years"

I wanted to say that I've never had a late payment in the 10 years we've owned a home but with other friends around it might have come across as shaming. I did mention autopay but he's still in the mindset of not having enough money and wanting to control when the payment happens

[joleran]

I keep typing something and then deleting it because there are too many expletives.

And how much does doordash cost? I thought even their giant subs are around $10.

Doordash is a meal delivery service, they take restaurants menus and post them on their own site with a (sometimes hefty) markup and have their drivers deliver it.

[partgypsy]

I still get a little mad when I order chinese and it's 35 for the three of us, but it is an occasional treat. $85 for Jimmie Johns?!? What the? I actually loved their gargantuan sandwiches, but after hearing about the big game hunting a couple years ago, no Jimmie Johns for me. Same for Papa Johns. No reason to be glorifying shooting endangered animals for sport.

[Just Joe]

Post from someone today:

Have to rant. So i worked a 15 hr day on the way home i order jersey mikes through doordash. 4 sandwiches 78.00 with 7.00 tip. It gets there before i got home my daughter excepted it not know what we ordered. Get home its 30.00.worth of chinese. We call doordash refunded our money still have not eaten dinner its 9pm. Call jersey mikes nothing they can do. Call rice box the customer that the order we have is there. So.we talk to him said door dash canceled there order. So 9 pm at night no dinner and someone is enjoying our cheesesteaks.  Never again doordash. Nor we deliver.

$85 to get four sandwiches delivered?

He gets the money refunded and now has free Chinese food. That sounds like an awesome deal to me, but he says down in the comments that they didn’t want Chinese and threw it away. At least he is getting skewered in the comments for being such a spendypants.

...

I keep typing something and then deleting it because there are too many expletives.

And how much does doordash cost? I thought even their Jersey Mike's giant subs are around $10.

ETA: I was mixing up Jimmy John's and Jersey Mike's. Also, the way I wrote this may have been confusing.

Reminds me of the Amazon reviews where the unhappy customer chooses to throw away expensive things they were not happy with. Why? Ebay it. Return it. Give it away?

Free Chinese? Wahoo!

[DadJokes]

I made the mistake of suggesting that he might not have to work 15 hour days if he didn't spend $80 on a single meal. Heck, that's ~2.8 hours of work for me.

I didn't really mean for it to be rude (was aiming for helpful suggestion), but he didn't take it that way.

[SwordGuy]

I made the mistake of suggesting that he might not have to work 15 hour days if he didn't spend $80 on a single meal. Heck, that's ~2.8 hours of work for me.

I didn't really mean for it to be rude (was aiming for helpful suggestion), but he didn't take it that way.

Regardless of how you sugar-coated it, you were still pointing out in public that he's a dumbass.   Of course he didn't like it.

(Doesn't mean you shouldn't point it out.   Just don't be surprised at the result.)

That's one reason why so many people later in life are so resistant to learning about FIRE -- to do so requires them learning that the way they've been doing things for decades was not a good decision; they squandered a lot of wealth and opportunities and much of their "bad luck" was actually the result of stupid decisions on their part.  They would rather continue being broke than admit that.

[JestJes]

I made the mistake of suggesting that he might not have to work 15 hour days if he didn't spend $80 on a single meal. Heck, that's ~2.8 hours of work for me.

I didn't really mean for it to be rude (was aiming for helpful suggestion), but he didn't take it that way.

Yeah the idea of "work hard, play hard" is almost always a recipe for disaster because no one stops spending if for some reason they don't have the same money coming in. Bad year and no bonus? You still have to pay your outrageous mortgage and car lease.

I have a lot of sympathy for these people though. It seem so easy to stop spending for the naturally frugal but for many people it means unlearning year of bad money habits and building an entirely new relationship with money. Its huge transformation if you have't ever gone through it. For me I was like "Shit all these things I thought were necessities are actually luxuries?!" I had to completely restructure my life and was lucky enough to have a partner who was on board but I did lose almost all of my "friends" in the process. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to be much older and have kids with someone who wasn't on board with FIRE.

I wouldn't go back and change a thing but I always chaff when people say how easy it is. Its like dieting. Its simple math calories in vs calories out but when you look at America, how many people are still overweight? How many people fall for scam dieting programs that only make their wallets lighter. Of course its simple once you figure it out, but for people who are lost it seems very overwhelming.

Sorry to get too deep on a funny board lol

[Kazyan]

Yeah the idea of "work hard, play hard" is almost always a recipe for disaster because no one stops spending if for some reason they don't have the same money coming in. Bad year and no bonus? You still have to pay your outrageous mortgage and car lease.

I have a lot of sympathy for these people though. It seem so easy to stop spending for the naturally frugal but for many people it means unlearning year of bad money habits and building an entirely new relationship with money. Its huge transformation if you have't ever gone through it. For me I was like "Shit all these things I thought were necessities are actually luxuries?!" I had to completely restructure my life and was lucky enough to have a partner who was on board but I did lose almost all of my "friends" in the process. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to be much older and have kids with someone who wasn't on board with FIRE.

I wouldn't go back and change a thing but I always chaff when people say how easy it is. Its like dieting. Its simple math calories in vs calories out but when you look at America, how many people are still overweight? How many people fall for scam dieting programs that only make their wallets lighter. Of course its simple once you figure it out, but for people who are lost it seems very overwhelming.

Sorry to get too deep on a funny board lol

Yeah, an unfortunate part of life is that you can know exactly how the math works, but it won't help if your psychology isn't equipped to act on it. And people behave differently in different parts of life, too; humans aren't consistent. e.g. I have a ~64% savings rate and 50 pounds of obesity that is unlikely to go away anytime soon. So I have a variable amount of sympathy for spendypants suckers even while their trainwrecks entertain us all.

[JestJes]

Yeah the idea of "work hard, play hard" is almost always a recipe for disaster because no one stops spending if for some reason they don't have the same money coming in. Bad year and no bonus? You still have to pay your outrageous mortgage and car lease.

I have a lot of sympathy for these people though. It seem so easy to stop spending for the naturally frugal but for many people it means unlearning year of bad money habits and building an entirely new relationship with money. Its huge transformation if you have't ever gone through it. For me I was like "Shit all these things I thought were necessities are actually luxuries?!" I had to completely restructure my life and was lucky enough to have a partner who was on board but I did lose almost all of my "friends" in the process. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to be much older and have kids with someone who wasn't on board with FIRE.

I wouldn't go back and change a thing but I always chaff when people say how easy it is. Its like dieting. Its simple math calories in vs calories out but when you look at America, how many people are still overweight? How many people fall for scam dieting programs that only make their wallets lighter. Of course its simple once you figure it out, but for people who are lost it seems very overwhelming.

Sorry to get too deep on a funny board lol

Yeah, an unfortunate part of life is that you can know exactly how the math works, but it won't help if your psychology isn't equipped to act on it. And people behave differently in different parts of life, too; humans aren't consistent. e.g. I have a ~64% savings rate and 50 pounds of obesity that is unlikely to go away anytime soon. So I have a variable amount of sympathy for spendypants suckers even while their trainwrecks entertain us all.

Isn't it strange? I went from something like a -10% saving rate to 35% (still working on it) and I have put on a little weight. I used to have a big fancy crossfit gym and some sort of beach vacation planned when I needed to look good for Instagram. Now I just have my health and wellness to motivate me and I have to make all my healthy food at home. Bleh

[ysette9]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

[JestJes]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

This is exactly how I am. I think it will switch eventually like when I don't have to worry as much about money and everything is on autopilot but for I have to get out of debt, work my side hustle, take care of my mental and physical health, and continue to optimize my life. Its takes a lot of mental bandwidth.

[zolotiyeruki]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

I think this is an actual, scientifically proven thing.  Something like "you can only make N decisions every day."  It's one reason why some people wear the exact same outfit every day--it spares them that one decision.

Here's one article about it.

[Imma]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

I think this is an actual, scientifically proven thing.  Something like "you can only make N decisions every day."  It's one reason why some people wear the exact same outfit every day--it spares them that one decision.

Here's one article about it.

Yup, for me it's like that as well. I am super in control at work, grad school and side hustle but it's a permanent challenge to keep my house looking neat, eat healthy and get enough exercise. When I had 3 weeks off from work the house looked picture perfect, I went on long walks, lost a bit of weight and didn't crave chocolate once. Being as far away from FIRE as I am (and on a low, unstable income) I just feel like I have to prioritize certain things over others. It's ironic that that means not prioritizing healthy living as I have had a chronic illness since I was a teenager: I need a stable job where I can't be laid off if I'm ill and that pays enough to be able to afford all my medical needs - and I know I only have this moment in time to save up a stash before I become unable to work.

[DadJokes]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

I think this is an actual, scientifically proven thing.  Something like "you can only make N decisions every day."  It's one reason why some people wear the exact same outfit every day--it spares them that one decision.

Here's one article about it.

Yup, for me it's like that as well. I am super in control at work, grad school and side hustle but it's a permanent challenge to keep my house looking neat, eat healthy and get enough exercise. When I had 3 weeks off from work the house looked picture perfect, I went on long walks, lost a bit of weight and didn't crave chocolate once. Being as far away from FIRE as I am (and on a low, unstable income) I just feel like I have to prioritize certain things over others. It's ironic that that means not prioritizing healthy living as I have had a chronic illness since I was a teenager: I need a stable job where I can't be laid off if I'm ill and that pays enough to be able to afford all my medical needs - and I know I only have this moment in time to save up a stash before I become unable to work.

Work, parenting, time with spouse, eating healthy, cleaning the house, exercising...

There really is far too much to find the energy to do. Lately, it feels like I'm so drained by the first that only a tiny bit of energy gets allocated to the next two, and everything else is generally ignored.

Thankfully finances are on auto-pilot at this point, even if we aren't far along.

[LiveLean]

When my sons had the HPV vaccination they both questioned why it was necessary.

I told them to Google "anal cancer."

They had no further questions.

[dragoncar]

When my sons had the HPV vaccination they both questioned why it was necessary.

I told them to Google "anal cancer."

They had no further questions.

That’s what I telly kids when they ask why they should clean their room

[Just Joe]

I'm trying that tonight. Everyone cleans their room or ....!!!

There are days when getting the dishwasher unloaded by a child is impossible!

[RePatriot]

I think the self control needed to do things like maintain a good savings rate and stay healthy all comes from the same reservoir. I find that I have only a finite amount of control to do good things during the day. If the house is neat and the To Do list is tackled then I don’t have the energy to floss my teeth or prepare dinner. There is only so much of me to go around so I have to be carful where I choose to spend my mental energy. When I don’t get enough sleep then the amount of mental energy available to do responsible adult stuff goes way down.

I think this is an actual, scientifically proven thing.  Something like "you can only make N decisions every day."  It's one reason why some people wear the exact same outfit every day--it spares them that one decision.

Here's one article about it.

For those feeling this way, I highly recommend Getting Things Done.  It helps you create a defined workflow and order of operations for approaching everything in life.  It has cut way down on this decision fatigue for me.

[Zikoris]

I think the best way to avoid self-control fatigue is probably to automate as much as possible and make the correct option the easiest one. Like, finances can be close to 100% automated and require zero effort. You can even set up things like an automated weekly grocery delivery these days (I used to do it when I was single). Weekend meal prep ensures you have zero-thought, zero-effort meals all week. People have long found that not keeping junk food at home usually almost entirely eliminates consuming it, because they eat what they do have instead rather than going to the effort of going and buying potato chips. Being very minimalist and living in a small space greatly reduces daily housework. Not having a car at all means you don't need to have an internal struggle between biking or driving somewhere. And so on.

Many years ago I decided I wanted the vast majority of my non-working time and mental energy to go towards fun things instead of boring shit, so I implemented all of those things, and it really does work.

[Sugaree]

I just got an email from my credit union.  The subject is "Looking for a new vehicle? Check out our inventory of repossessions!"  A couple of things come to mind here.  The first is that it's likely that this was sent to their entire email list and it's equally likely that the people who have had their cars repo'd probably got the same email.  Talk about throwing salt on the wound. 

I decided to poke around to see what they've got.  I like how they have an asking price now.  The process for buying a repo used to be submit a bid and wait a week to see if the bid was accepted.  I see now why none of the bids I submitted in the past were accepted.  They have a 2016 F-350 with 130k miles and are asking $44k for it.  I actually think that's pretty close to blue book on it.  So much for finding a good deal buying repos...

[Travis]

I just got an email from my credit union.  The subject is "Looking for a new vehicle? Check out our inventory of repossessions!"  A couple of things come to mind here.  The first is that it's likely that this was sent to their entire email list and it's equally likely that the people who have had their cars repo'd probably got the same email.  Talk about throwing salt on the wound. 

I decided to poke around to see what they've got.  I like how they have an asking price now.  The process for buying a repo used to be submit a bid and wait a week to see if the bid was accepted.  I see now why none of the bids I submitted in the past were accepted.  They have a 2016 F-350 with 130k miles and are asking $44k for it.  I actually think that's pretty close to blue book on it.  So much for finding a good deal buying repos...

1. That's hilarious that you might get a spam email from your bank trying to resell your car.
2. I imagine the bank is paying a storage fee somewhere for their fleet. I wonder how long before they'd start lowering the price to offload it?
3. Holy shit, that had to be an $80k truck brand new...

[Sugaree]

I just got an email from my credit union.  The subject is "Looking for a new vehicle? Check out our inventory of repossessions!"  A couple of things come to mind here.  The first is that it's likely that this was sent to their entire email list and it's equally likely that the people who have had their cars repo'd probably got the same email.  Talk about throwing salt on the wound. 

I decided to poke around to see what they've got.  I like how they have an asking price now.  The process for buying a repo used to be submit a bid and wait a week to see if the bid was accepted.  I see now why none of the bids I submitted in the past were accepted.  They have a 2016 F-350 with 130k miles and are asking $44k for it.  I actually think that's pretty close to blue book on it.  So much for finding a good deal buying repos...

1. That's hilarious that you might get a spam email from your bank trying to resell your car.
2. I imagine the bank is paying a storage fee somewhere for their fleet. I wonder how long before they'd start lowering the price to offload it?
3. Holy shit, that had to be an $80k truck brand new...

So, it's a credit union who's original target member were people who work at the same place I do.  A fair amount of repos are held in a parking lot right outside the gate, which again sucks if you have to see your car for sale every day coming and going to work.  When I first started working here, a lot of people were working a lot of mandatory OT and had been doing so for years.  Like 66 hour weeks every week for 10 years.  People started forgetting what they really made and started using the OT paystubs to buy toys.  In 2008, the OT tap was cut off nearly overnight.  The amount of available trucks, RVs, and boats sitting in that lot doubled a couple of months later.  It was really sad. 

My brother works there and he says that they try to get blue book and/or what the borrower owes on it.  If it doesn't sell then it goes to auction.  If I'm a borrower, I'm hoping that they are going to sell it to a private party because there's a better chance of covering what I owe on it and not sticking me with a large deficiency.