Overheard on Facebook

[Papa Mustache]

Not clueless at all. It's a classic humblebrag.

Actually just everything about that FB post makes my tooth fillings hurt. The way she had to slip in that it was a 'palladium and cranberry interior'.... although now I Google it that colour combination is HOT. Someone stop me...

All except the goofy tablet screen standing up on the dash... That would seriously keep me from buying that car... Oh - and the pricetag. ;)

[Zaga]

My husband's just tall enough that he can't get into sedans easily, so when I car shopped a few years ago we only looked at hatchbacks.  It was a tough search!  We ended up with a Soul, which so far has been a great choice. 

[Papa Mustache]

MMM has made me a grumpy old man.  Getting tired of saving and not spending sometimes...

MMM has strengthened my resolve to save. The Anti-Mushtachian-Wall-of-Shame-and-Comedy threads has reminded me that those people with shiny things often have lots of debt. Most of the one's I know best do.

I'm hoping I can educate my kids past those mistakes same mistakes I made as a bachelor. Time will tell... Reading the "Overhead @" threads ought to be required reading by high school students.

[zephyr911]

I was a dumbass for an entire decade *after* learning about investing. Who knew you had to avoid spending all your money if you wanted to invest it?

[Papa Mustache]

Fellow mom venting:

The kicker: it's ‎2886 km | 1789 miles from Calgary to Kingston so that locker is not getting cleared out any time soon.‎
‎

How does that even work???  You take a major vacation periodically to visit your comic collection?

Thank you MMM for reminding how silly it is to rent a storage unit most of the time. I've known so many people who rent them for years to store odds and ends with very little value beyond sentimental value.

[Papa Mustache]

In person from a FB friend so I'm gonna count it :)

"We're still paying on medical bills from my wife's surgery in December. Our part after insurance was $2,000 and we can't afford that so we're on a payment plan of $175/month. We're putting it on a credit card and it's already up to like $800 this month from other bills"

Followed not too long by:

"Oh, and the wife might let me go to Defcon in Vegas!"

Where are people's shame in sharing these kinds of things??? If I was having a financial crisis nobody would know but my wife and the bank.

[mm1970]

Apparently men aren't allowed to like station wagons.

Learned this at work today :)

My mother has a Passat wagon.  They are not made any longer.  I told her I have dibs.  I'm a man.

You probably know this but the rest of the world outside the USA gets wagon (estate cars) versions of just about every sedan we can buy here in the USA.

Don't even get me started on this... it drives me nuts every time I think about it!

Me too!!

I have a Matrix hatchback, but I have to tell you I'd love a wagon.

[eljefe-speaks]

If you're a savvy shopper, flying to one is worth it.
I got my 2006 Audi A4 with all the options I wanted for $2500 less than my locality by flying to the east coast.

Oh, but there are risks. I once traveled about 1000 miles by Megabus to pick up a motorcycle. I made the guy promise before I left that the bike was in excellent condition as described. When I arrived there was an obvious quarter-sized dent in the gas tank. Dude didn't drop the price because he knew I was already totally committed. 

All this negotiation stuff is way off topic, but enjoying the pointers, thanks all! I am headed to the dealership tomorrow for a hopefull motorcycle swap and feel much more prepared now.

[nobodyspecial]

Apparently men aren't allowed to like station wagons.

I thought a Subaru station wagons, kept until the odometer turns over, is the only car allowed to a mustachian

[Papa Mustache]

I didn't have to wait long to update this. Today posted that his car needs tires. He definitely knew there was a problem before buying the grill, but these things can wait right? It definitely can't wait anymore.

Walk around and look at parking lot tires sometime. I do it sometimes as I walk into a store. I have noticed nice cars running on tires worn so smooth that there is hardly a hint of the former tread pattern on the tire.

A friend claims that this is a great indicator of the economy's performance. Watch the tires on commercial trucks and the pickups belonging to the good 'ole boys. As the economy sours the work they rely on drys up and they stretch out things like tires.

[HairyUpperLip]

It's so dumb that there is no longer a Civic hatchback available in the US.  Had a '95 Civic Si all through school, and it was the best car evah.  Drove the shit out of it.  People were constantly begging to buy it from me.  The Fit is good, but I think the build quality of my Si was superior, and it was much cooler looking, too.

I've been trying to purchase a 1992-1995 Honda Civic Si for the last couple of years. I'm trying to find one actually worth buying.

The ones worth buying are popping up for $12-16k.

The ones that are all beat up are still asking for $4-6k.

My Civic head gasket nightmare involved an Si, though I've also had trouble with a sedan version (one 1989, one I don't remember but late 80s or early 90s). So, it was an issue. That said, any that are still running now have probably not got that particular problem.

What was the situation?

I'm always surprised to hear anyone have a nightmare of any sort with Honda (besides automatic transmission problems - but I hold Americans directly responsible for this one).

[Papa Mustache]

Well, I have some cloth shopping bags inherited from my mother, who was using them as long ago as the 1960s.  So I think they've met their 131-use targets and then some.  With the number of cloth bags being given out as freebies at events and conventions all over the place, I'm perplexed as to why most people don't just have their own supply which means that using plastic is even more pointless.

Get a cloth water bucket. That'll get your fellow shoppers talking. It might last forever too.

[Joggernot]

I'm always surprised to hear anyone have a nightmare of any sort with Honda (besides automatic transmission problems - but I hold Americans directly responsible for this one).

I have one of those.  2000 Honda Accord V6 on it's third transmission.  First replacement was on warranty.

Get a cloth water bucket. That'll get your fellow shoppers talking. It might last forever too.

I like this idea!  Excellent way to serve two purposes.  Plus, it could serve as a tool carrier, too.

[Papa Mustache]

Part of it is fear and value estimation.  I have friends that have had to repair (because their home warranty company requires it) their dishwasher so much it is effectively new. 

If you donMy have the warranty company, though, and you are paying $150-$200 a repair, the concern is that the thing is starting to break down.

At 2-4 repairs, the challenge of not knowing when the repair is needed,  the the no idea if the $150-$200 is the max, and the age of the washer, it can most certainly be better to replace it. 

Would I spend $4k to fix a 10 year old car or $12k to get a 4 year old car?  I would do the later every time..

I put in a new transmission on a car with 210k miles and 12 years.  I still have the car at 270k miles and it's doing just fine.

Yeah, I've paid a grand total of $14,600 for all vehicle purchases over the last three decades. Repair costs have been considerably lower than that, but there have been three transmissions, of which one was a mistake in hindsight... So how many such mistakes would I have had to make to equal one $12k vehicle?

maybe you ought to learn how to drive a manual transmission. If you don't abuse them they last longer than the rest of the car. I'm pushing 300K on mine. I have never had a problem with a manual transmission and my clutches last beyond 200K miles. The clutch in my nearly 300K mile old daily driver is still original from the factory. Replacing automatic transmissions is EXPENSIVE. You have the extra price on the front end and the rebuild/replacement again on the backend. To me that's $3500 extra to drive 200K miles in a vehicle with an automatic.   

[Papa Mustache]

Then there was a slew of posts saying she should be sure to take a man with her when she went to buy a new car.

Sadly, this is statistically likely to make a difference. My personal experience is that women are treated like idiots at the car yard. Sad but still true.

It is indeed true. That's one of the reasons I only buy vehicles from people I know now. At least when you're doing business with someone you know, you will actually receive the items and services you pay for and there won't be any extra "surprises" on the bill. You also won't be forced to wait for several hours while they "talk to the boss" or try to manipulate you into getting a bunch of add-ons you don't need, don't want, and can't use.

We bought our first (only) new car and experienced every scheme and scam in the book. Literally I had bought a book on the car dealer business and just about everything was tried on us.

Good experience though painful. Next time it will be MUCH easier to do what we did at the end of the last (only) new car purchase - told the salesman we are looking for an ACME Deluxe car and that we'd pay $XYZ and he had 25 minutes to make it work or we walk.

He seemed to have much more respect for our time and money at that point. His price was within $200 or so of our price and it worked out well. 

At other dealerships we faced temper-tantrums (literally), bugged offices (webcams pointed at us hidden between books on shelf), lying, credit checks without our permission, heckling, etc.

AMAZING how cars are sold in this country. The older I get the more screwed up I think our culture is in the USA.

[Papa Mustache]

Then there was a slew of posts saying she should be sure to take a man with her when she went to buy a new car.

Sadly, this is statistically likely to make a difference. My personal experience is that women are treated like idiots at the car yard. Sad but still true.

A good friend of ours went down to buy a car.  She looked at several with the salesman and decided to buy one.  The salesman told her to come back with her husband to close the deal.  This was in North Carolina.  She, being originally from California, let the salesman have both barrels.  She bought the car without her husband being there.

If she really wanted to make a point she should have bought a car from a different dealer after telling the salesman's manager why he lost the sale... As a side note, it's usually better to go with another person when buying a car to help keep yourself from making impulsive decisions.

We did that. (First, local) salesman wouldn't even make eye contact with us. We bought out of town. His terms were 14% interest, highest price by $5K of the dealers we visited, and he TOLD us that he'd come get our car to use as a demo vehicle when he needed to (from our employer's parking lot) and then he'd return it washed. NO YOU WON'T! ;)

[HairyUpperLip]

I'm always surprised to hear anyone have a nightmare of any sort with Honda (besides automatic transmission problems - but I hold Americans directly responsible for this one).

I have one of those.  2000 Honda Accord V6 on it's third transmission.  First replacement was on warranty.

Should have gotten a manual. You'd probably still be on the original clutch. :-P

[Papa Mustache]

That's so rude. She clearly meant it in the context of infant clothes.

Even people I know with tons of money like to get free baby clothes.


You don't know anything about her situation. Likely, she's made terrible choices in her life, but there is also the case that there is something else in the background you have no idea about.

I think everyone understands that she meant it in the context of infant clothing.  That's pretty obvious.

But a single mother of 4 who is also pregnant?  Yes, there is a chance that she's a widow, or a recent divorcee, or has been in a long-term relationship with someone who up and left.  But there is an equal chance that she's not a widow and just keeps having babies.  (My friend who has adopted from foster care can tell you that.)

A few of my younger son's friends have parents who have already divorced, and he's just turned 3.  I think it's incredibly sad to see that happen so early.  A friend of mine at school is single with 2 children.  (Well, technically she hasn't divorced the husband who ran off to another state 5 years ago).  Her 2nd child was the result of trying to get back together, but he took off while she was pregnant.

Still, these 3 or 4 women are outnumbered by the number of women who just have children with one or more men, without the ability to care for them.  (That doesn't stop me from donating to local charities that serve this demographic.  I can be empathetic and helpful while recognizing that often these situations are a result of poor choices.  The two are not mutually exclusive.)

In theory wouldn't a mother of four already have baby clothes to utilize on the imminent baby?

We gratefully received alot of baby and toddler clothes from my SIL. Our son#1 wore them, we boxed them up and our son#2 wore them. Then when we were decided we would no more children -  we passed them along to friends who had sons too. So we know the clothes lasted through four babies/toddlers. Most of them looked great when they left out house so there is no reason that they couldn't get another few babies to kindergarten.

[Papa Mustache]

I might be wandering into paranoid conspiracy nut territory here but ....

I wonder why it took a non-car maker to start taking electric cars seriously?
The Tesla is a lotus chassis with some standard Panasonic 18650 laptop cells and a couple of brushless DC motors - not exactly beyond the engineering competence of Volkswagon or Toyota.

Electric cars potentially last a long time, there are few servicing costs (brakes last forever, no oil changes, no timing belt ... ) so no profit for dealer service centers and no incentive to trade your 3year old car to a new model once the loan runs out.

I don't think it's a conspiracy, just entrenchment.  I don't think the engineering was trivial, though.

Tell me that the auto industry isn't about to turn their backs on a cash cow i.e. fossil fuel powered vehicles that need alot of maintenance and wear out eventually. And then there are all the suppliers that make parts for fossil fuel powered vehicles that simply would be left out of an EV - spark plugs, drive belts, head gaskets, exhaust systems, etc. They have a vested interest in keeping things the same.

[Papa Mustache]

TENETS. Deeply held principles, that is.
Tenants are the people who will pay for my early retirement.

Still necroposting, I see. I'm not mad... I'm just *dramatic sigh* disappointed.

Trying to get caught up when I have the time... The WHOLE thread is an educational thing.

[Papa Mustache]

...

Our #1 car choice next time is a VW Jetta Sportwagon TDI (diesel) with a six speed manual transmission. The turbo deisel CR-V with a 6MT would also be high on my list but we aren't allowed to buy them here in the USA- Land of the Free.

...

Great choice! We have a Jetta Sportwagon TDI and a regular Jetta TDI.  Both average between 45 and 50 miles per gallon (depending on who is driving ;) ) Going to have these babies for a loooooong time!

A coworker bought one and I've spoken with several other people. These cars seem to live up to my expectations. Still some savings goals to meet before we get to buying... ;)

[Papa Mustache]

Um, seriously?  I think most models come in a hatchback in Canada.  I wish they were actual station wagons, the design of a hatchback is slightly less roomy.  I love love my Mazda3 hatchback, and am NEVER going back to a sedan.

Cross-border shopping?  Our emission standards should meet those of most US states.

I have no idea what it would take to buy in Canada and bring it across the border. Looked at an Acrua wagon in a parking lot over the weekend. Same as the Accord wagon in the UK. Expensive new. Would fit our needs though.

[Papa Mustache]

My husband's just tall enough that he can't get into sedans easily, so when I car shopped a few years ago we only looked at hatchbacks.  It was a tough search!  We ended up with a Soul, which so far has been a great choice.

They are everywhere here. At one point my son pointed out that we could see five of the same color in traffic. :) Good product for Kia/Hyundai.

Finally caught up on this thread! Wahoo!

[Threshkin]

...

Our #1 car choice next time is a VW Jetta Sportwagon TDI (diesel) with a six speed manual transmission. The turbo deisel CR-V with a 6MT would also be high on my list but we aren't allowed to buy them here in the USA- Land of the Free.

...

Great choice! We have a Jetta Sportwagon TDI and a regular Jetta TDI.  Both average between 45 and 50 miles per gallon (depending on who is driving ;) ) Going to have these babies for a loooooong time!

A coworker bought one and I've spoken with several other people. These cars seem to live up to my expectations. Still some savings goals to meet before we get to buying... ;)

We got a Golf TDI last year and are very happy with it.  Extended average of 42.2 MPG on almost exclusive in-town driving.  On the rare occasion we get on the highway for a longer trip, we get 50+ MPG.

My only regret is that we did not wait a year until the wagon came out.  (A very small regret!)

[zephyr911]

maybe you ought to learn how to drive a manual transmission. If you don't abuse them they last longer than the rest of the car. I'm pushing 300K on mine. I have never had a problem with a manual transmission and my clutches last beyond 200K miles. The clutch in my nearly 300K mile old daily driver is still original from the factory. Replacing automatic transmissions is EXPENSIVE. You have the extra price on the front end and the rebuild/replacement again on the backend. To me that's $3500 extra to drive 200K miles in a vehicle with an automatic.

Or, you know, get a fixed-gear EV and skip all that bullshit for good!
(*I actually really love driving a stick but oh well)

[Rural]

Part of it is fear and value estimation.  I have friends that have had to repair (because their home warranty company requires it) their dishwasher so much it is effectively new. 

If you donMy have the warranty company, though, and you are paying $150-$200 a repair, the concern is that the thing is starting to break down.

At 2-4 repairs, the challenge of not knowing when the repair is needed,  the the no idea if the $150-$200 is the max, and the age of the washer, it can most certainly be better to replace it. 

Would I spend $4k to fix a 10 year old car or $12k to get a 4 year old car?  I would do the later every time..

I put in a new transmission on a car with 210k miles and 12 years.  I still have the car at 270k miles and it's doing just fine.

Yeah, I've paid a grand total of $14,600 for all vehicle purchases over the last three decades. Repair costs have been considerably lower than that, but there have been three transmissions, of which one was a mistake in hindsight... So how many such mistakes would I have had to make to equal one $12k vehicle?

maybe you ought to learn how to drive a manual transmission. If you don't abuse them they last longer than the rest of the car. I'm pushing 300K on mine. I have never had a problem with a manual transmission and my clutches last beyond 200K miles. The clutch in my nearly 300K mile old daily driver is still original from the factory. Replacing automatic transmissions is EXPENSIVE. You have the extra price on the front end and the rebuild/replacement again on the backend. To me that's $3500 extra to drive 200K miles in a vehicle with an automatic.

I've bought nine vehicles in my lifetime, of which seven have been manual, and the others weren't because I had limited choices or an opportunity too good to pass up. Manual is definitely my preference.


Come to think of it, two of the three replaced transmissions (all automatic, of course) were on an old truck my husband bought, so those don't actually fall in my "buy" list. It was (is) a diesel Suburban with 4WD and locking hubs, and its two transmission replacements, while unfortunate, aren't the ones that were the mistake. Trouble was it came stock with something that really couldn't handle the extra torque from the diesel, so the latest replacement is a big heavy duty transmission. He changed it out himself both times, and the thing has over 300k miles now (and currently a broken starter bolt which he's going to have to drill out someday).


However, manuals aren't invincible - I have had a clutch cable break and had to drive the thing back home by carefully synching the gears to shift without grinding, and shutting off the engine to get it in first if I had to stop. Can be done, but it was 30 miles of no fun. On the bright side, it was about a $15 part and about an hour to fix once I got it here.

[Rural]

It's so dumb that there is no longer a Civic hatchback available in the US.  Had a '95 Civic Si all through school, and it was the best car evah.  Drove the shit out of it.  People were constantly begging to buy it from me.  The Fit is good, but I think the build quality of my Si was superior, and it was much cooler looking, too.

I've been trying to purchase a 1992-1995 Honda Civic Si for the last couple of years. I'm trying to find one actually worth buying.

The ones worth buying are popping up for $12-16k.

The ones that are all beat up are still asking for $4-6k.

My Civic head gasket nightmare involved an Si, though I've also had trouble with a sedan version (one 1989, one I don't remember but late 80s or early 90s). So, it was an issue. That said, any that are still running now have probably not got that particular problem.

What was the situation?

I'm always surprised to hear anyone have a nightmare of any sort with Honda (besides automatic transmission problems - but I hold Americans directly responsible for this one).

Some sort of problem deep in the engine, both of those cars, that led to multiple blown head gaskets. Hasn't put me off buying Hondas because I've also had two last forever. I might not buy an 86-89 Civic, thought- I think that was the age range. Hard to find one that hasn't been hot roddded anymore anyway.

[mm1970]

That's so rude. She clearly meant it in the context of infant clothes.

Even people I know with tons of money like to get free baby clothes.


You don't know anything about her situation. Likely, she's made terrible choices in her life, but there is also the case that there is something else in the background you have no idea about.

I think everyone understands that she meant it in the context of infant clothing.  That's pretty obvious.

But a single mother of 4 who is also pregnant?  Yes, there is a chance that she's a widow, or a recent divorcee, or has been in a long-term relationship with someone who up and left.  But there is an equal chance that she's not a widow and just keeps having babies.  (My friend who has adopted from foster care can tell you that.)

A few of my younger son's friends have parents who have already divorced, and he's just turned 3.  I think it's incredibly sad to see that happen so early.  A friend of mine at school is single with 2 children.  (Well, technically she hasn't divorced the husband who ran off to another state 5 years ago).  Her 2nd child was the result of trying to get back together, but he took off while she was pregnant.

Still, these 3 or 4 women are outnumbered by the number of women who just have children with one or more men, without the ability to care for them.  (That doesn't stop me from donating to local charities that serve this demographic.  I can be empathetic and helpful while recognizing that often these situations are a result of poor choices.  The two are not mutually exclusive.)

In theory wouldn't a mother of four already have baby clothes to utilize on the imminent baby?

We gratefully received alot of baby and toddler clothes from my SIL. Our son#1 wore them, we boxed them up and our son#2 wore them. Then when we were decided we would no more children -  we passed them along to friends who had sons too. So we know the clothes lasted through four babies/toddlers. Most of them looked great when they left out house so there is no reason that they couldn't get another few babies to kindergarten.

Not if you are done or if they wore out.

My kids are 6 years apart.  I didn't keep anything.

[seanc0x0]

I think everyone understands that she meant it in the context of infant clothing.  That's pretty obvious.

But a single mother of 4 who is also pregnant?  Yes, there is a chance that she's a widow, or a recent divorcee, or has been in a long-term relationship with someone who up and left.  But there is an equal chance that she's not a widow and just keeps having babies.  (My friend who has adopted from foster care can tell you that.)

A few of my younger son's friends have parents who have already divorced, and he's just turned 3.  I think it's incredibly sad to see that happen so early.  A friend of mine at school is single with 2 children.  (Well, technically she hasn't divorced the husband who ran off to another state 5 years ago).  Her 2nd child was the result of trying to get back together, but he took off while she was pregnant.

Still, these 3 or 4 women are outnumbered by the number of women who just have children with one or more men, without the ability to care for them.  (That doesn't stop me from donating to local charities that serve this demographic.  I can be empathetic and helpful while recognizing that often these situations are a result of poor choices.  The two are not mutually exclusive.)

In theory wouldn't a mother of four already have baby clothes to utilize on the imminent baby?

We gratefully received alot of baby and toddler clothes from my SIL. Our son#1 wore them, we boxed them up and our son#2 wore them. Then when we were decided we would no more children -  we passed them along to friends who had sons too. So we know the clothes lasted through four babies/toddlers. Most of them looked great when they left out house so there is no reason that they couldn't get another few babies to kindergarten.

Not if you are done or if they wore out.

My kids are 6 years apart.  I didn't keep anything.

We got lucky. Had a girl, then when she was starting to outgrow stuff and we had not yet gotten rid of most of it, my sister had a girl.  Then right around the time my niece was growing out of things, we had another girl, so everything is coming back to us and then some. Really helps with the costs vs. the first one!

[Megma]

On target with the ongoing car convo and seen this morning on FB...

Photo of a new black car, apparently of a Mazda CX-9 (29,000 msrp for base model) and under it after some appreciative comments "yeah, it was the only car on the lot that could absorb the negative equity from our Subaru." this is a young couple with a little boy under the age of three. Smh.

[RWD]

Um, seriously?  I think most models come in a hatchback in Canada.  I wish they were actual station wagons, the design of a hatchback is slightly less roomy.  I love love my Mazda3 hatchback, and am NEVER going back to a sedan.

Cross-border shopping?  Our emission standards should meet those of most US states.

I have no idea what it would take to buy in Canada and bring it across the border. Looked at an Acrua wagon in a parking lot over the weekend. Same as the Accord wagon in the UK. Expensive new. Would fit our needs though.

You can do this for cars that are sold in both the United States and Canada (but then you might as well buy in the US in the first place). Or if the vehicle is at least 25 years old it's okay to import. Otherwise you'll need to to spend an order of magnitude more money on bringing the car into compliance with US regulations (crash testing, emissions, etc.).
http://jalopnik.com/here-are-the-four-legal-ways-to-import-a-car-to-the-uni-1682067632

[seanc0x0]

Um, seriously?  I think most models come in a hatchback in Canada.  I wish they were actual station wagons, the design of a hatchback is slightly less roomy.  I love love my Mazda3 hatchback, and am NEVER going back to a sedan.

Cross-border shopping?  Our emission standards should meet those of most US states.

I have no idea what it would take to buy in Canada and bring it across the border. Looked at an Acrua wagon in a parking lot over the weekend. Same as the Accord wagon in the UK. Expensive new. Would fit our needs though.

You can do this for cars that are sold in both the United States and Canada (but then you might as well buy in the US in the first place). Or if the vehicle is at least 25 years old it's okay to import. Otherwise you'll need to to spend an order of magnitude more money on bringing the car into compliance with US regulations (crash testing, emissions, etc.).
http://jalopnik.com/here-are-the-four-legal-ways-to-import-a-car-to-the-uni-1682067632

In Canada, last I checked, it was 15 years. This meant that I came very close to buying a JDM FC RX-7 (right-hand drive, of course!) when I was in college.  Instead, I waited until I graduated and bought an RX-8 (as described in the 'Most anti-mustachian thing you've ever done' thread), which was both much more powerful and much easier to resell when I decided a car that needed to be filled up twice between Saskatoon and Edmonton was perhaps not the best choice for me.

But based on that experience, I know that several people bought FD RX-7s which were imported first to the US and then imported to Canada.  They were called 'grey-market' at the time, and i really wished I could afford one. I'm surprised it would be that much harder to import from Canada to the US than from Japan...

[sheepstache]

Can we talk about Humans of New York today? The lady who's homeless? And the second-rated comment is, "I believe most of us are one paycheck away from homelessness."

30,792 likes.

Actually according to a Bankrate survey I believe we discussed on the forum when it came out, savings rates are shockingly low according to our standards, but over half of Americans have at least 3 months worth of expenses saved. Only 26% have no savings. This is some delusional self-sabotaging shit if people are going around patting themselves on the back about how normal it is to be dead broke.

[mustachepungoeshere]

This was actually a call from a friend, but I have to share...

We're due to go to her wedding in two weeks. She called to say they can't legally get married as he didn't lodge the paperwork. (He claims forgetfulness but the clues point to him trying to get out of the wedding.)

She says they plan to have the ceremony and the reception later in the year (he won't commit to another date), but for now they're going ahead with the planned reception 'as a party'.

I asked if we're still expected to bring a 'gift' (they asked for cash) to this party.

She said: "Yes, because we still need to pay the restaurant."

We now don't want to attend the reception/party or the actual wedding (if it eventuates) because we are horrified by the groom's behaviour and are now basically opposed to the marriage.

I'm shocked that they are still expecting cash gifts for the non-wedding reception, and have admitted that said cash gifts will be used to pay for extravagant reception (I don't remember ordering a seafood buffet for dinner - I don't eat seafood!). What if the wedding does eventuate? Are we up for another gift?

This has followed on the heels of the groom's big 30th birthday party, their engagement party, her $500 hens night (I declined), and her kitchen tea with a wishing well for a Thermomix (I declined).

What is the etiquette here?

[forummm]

We're due to go to her wedding in two weeks. She called to say they can't legally get married as he didn't lodge the paperwork. (He claims forgetfulness but the clues point to him trying to get out of the wedding.)

Do you have to file marriage license paperwork 2 weeks in advance in AUS? In the US it's usually a 0-3 day waiting period.

[justajane]

This was actually a call from a friend, but I have to share...

We're due to go to her wedding in two weeks. She called to say they can't legally get married as he didn't lodge the paperwork. (He claims forgetfulness but the clues point to him trying to get out of the wedding.)

She says they plan to have the ceremony and the reception later in the year (he won't commit to another date), but for now they're going ahead with the planned reception 'as a party'.

I asked if we're still expected to bring a 'gift' (they asked for cash) to this party.

She said: "Yes, because we still need to pay the restaurant."

We now don't want to attend the reception/party or the actual wedding (if it eventuates) because we are horrified by the groom's behaviour and are now basically opposed to the marriage.

I'm shocked that they are still expecting cash gifts for the non-wedding reception, and have admitted that said cash gifts will be used to pay for extravagant reception (I don't remember ordering a seafood buffet for dinner - I don't eat seafood!). What if the wedding does eventuate? Are we up for another gift?

This has followed on the heels of the groom's big 30th birthday party, their engagement party, her $500 hens night (I declined), and her kitchen tea with a wishing well for a Thermomix (I declined).

What is the etiquette here?

Good lord, what a mess! I really don't know what you should do. It seems absurd that you should have to provide a gift for what is essentially a party. It's easy for me to suggest a snarky option like bringing an actual gift like a book on relationships or a budgeting book or something else practical, but presumably you are friends with this person because you like her. I definitely would be conveniently busy the night of the re-scheduled wedding. I can't imagine you would be the only one. If you want to maintain this friendship, perhaps give them the amount of cash that you would spend on a dinner of that caliber. And then wash your hands of the drama for the future.

[Joggernot]

This came through on Facebook today.  Basically says buying new or used costs the same over 5 years.  I read the transcript rather than watching the video.

https://www.bettermoneyhabits.com/buying-a-car/buy-new-used-car.html?cm_mmc=EBZ-CorpRep-_-Outbrain-_-BMH_NewUsed.mov-_-NA

[zolotiyeruki]

This came through on Facebook today.  Basically says buying new or used costs the same over 5 years.  I read the transcript rather than watching the video.

https://www.bettermoneyhabits.com/buying-a-car/buy-new-used-car.html?cm_mmc=EBZ-CorpRep-_-Outbrain-_-BMH_NewUsed.mov-_-NA

It looks like they're also making some assumptions about the use and care of those cars which may not fully jive with a more mustachian approach, assumptions like:
--full insurance coverage, not just liability
--taking out a loan for both cars
--new car gets 33 MPG vs 29 for the old one
--you don't do your own car repair
--15,000 miles per year (!)

Now I don't know about all of you, but I know that I 1) have just liability insurance on my clunker, 2) we always pay cash for our cars, 3) my 20-year-old Corolla gets something close to 33 MPG on the highway, 4) I do almost all my own car work (tackled a timing belt this weekend), and 5) I'm at *maybe* 10k miles/year on both cars combined, and that includes a couple cross-country trips!

[dsmexpat]

They estimate around 7k in costs per year on a beater. I bought mine for $3750 and although I have had to put a little money into it to fix a few things I'm only up to $4350. I would be amazed if I hit 7k, even buying a new car annually.

[RWD]

3) my 20-year-old Corolla gets something close to 33 MPG on the highway

A more fair comparison here would be to look at the 2015 Corolla which gets 36-42 mpg on the highway. Though even at 15k miles per year that still only works out to around $300 in savings...

[trailrated]

"Friend" from highschool sent me a fb email out of the blue. We hadn't talked or seen eachother in about 4-5 years. He tells me an awful story (I know some, not positive if all is true) about how his apartment just burned down and he didn't have renters insurance so lost everything (clothes, jewelry, TV, bed, etc.) his aunt and uncle who raised him just got divorced and the uncle came down with cancer so they can't afford to help him out, so he asks me for money. I declined because 1) we were never really close 2) hadn't heard from him in years 3) had no way to verify the story 4) didn't know his financial situation. I told him I didn't have room in my budget. I check Facebook and 3 days later I see a picture of him and a few people at a club with bottle service. Glad I didn't fund it.

[Sibley]

...

Our #1 car choice next time is a VW Jetta Sportwagon TDI (diesel) with a six speed manual transmission. The turbo deisel CR-V with a 6MT would also be high on my list but we aren't allowed to buy them here in the USA- Land of the Free.

...

Great choice! We have a Jetta Sportwagon TDI and a regular Jetta TDI.  Both average between 45 and 50 miles per gallon (depending on who is driving ;) ) Going to have these babies for a loooooong time!

I actually got rid of a 2014 Jetta Sportwagon TDI last December - terrible car for my lifestyle. But for other people, it's a good car.

[RunHappy]

This was actually a call from a friend, but I have to share...

We're due to go to her wedding in two weeks. She called to say they can't legally get married as he didn't lodge the paperwork. (He claims forgetfulness but the clues point to him trying to get out of the wedding.)

She says they plan to have the ceremony and the reception later in the year (he won't commit to another date), but for now they're going ahead with the planned reception 'as a party'.

I asked if we're still expected to bring a 'gift' (they asked for cash) to this party.

She said: "Yes, because we still need to pay the restaurant."

We now don't want to attend the reception/party or the actual wedding (if it eventuates) because we are horrified by the groom's behaviour and are now basically opposed to the marriage.

I'm shocked that they are still expecting cash gifts for the non-wedding reception, and have admitted that said cash gifts will be used to pay for extravagant reception (I don't remember ordering a seafood buffet for dinner - I don't eat seafood!). What if the wedding does eventuate? Are we up for another gift?

This has followed on the heels of the groom's big 30th birthday party, their engagement party, her $500 hens night (I declined), and her kitchen tea with a wishing well for a Thermomix (I declined).

What is the etiquette here?

All etiquette rules point to no.  This is no longer a wedding or a wedding reception, it is just a party.  I personally would give my regrets and tell them when they have the next date you will be there with your dancing shoes.  Maybe it will happen, maybe not.

[Sibley]

Seen on FB:   For the first time in my life, I am going to have a range/oven with features far beyond just the very basic. It's a dual oven range with convection in the bottom oven, five burners on top with space for a griddle in the center, and the ability to set it to do things like delay the beginning of the cooking time, then automatically switch to warming once the food is done cooking/baking. And it's self-cleaning. This cook is going to be in heaven! We just ordered it today and got a fantastic deal. I'm excited about using the appliance and admiring how beautiful it looks in my kitchen, and my husband is excited about eating the food that results from owning it.


This is from a young mother. 2 under 2, husband is SAHD, she's a librarian. How much can she make? They bought the oven because they're moving. At least they did DIY for some of the house stuff. Personally, I don't want 2 ovens, it just means I have to clean 2 of them, plus actually use 2!

[Kitsunegari]

Seen on FB:   For the first time in my life, I am going to have a range/oven with features far beyond just the very basic. It's a dual oven range with convection in the bottom oven, five burners on top with space for a griddle in the center, and the ability to set it to do things like delay the beginning of the cooking time, then automatically switch to warming once the food is done cooking/baking. And it's self-cleaning. This cook is going to be in heaven! We just ordered it today and got a fantastic deal. I'm excited about using the appliance and admiring how beautiful it looks in my kitchen, and my husband is excited about eating the food that results from owning it.


This is from a young mother. 2 under 2, husband is SAHD, she's a librarian. How much can she make? They bought the oven because they're moving. At least they did DIY for some of the house stuff. Personally, I don't want 2 ovens, it just means I have to clean 2 of them, plus actually use 2!

In her defense, that stove sounds amazing, and a real game-changer in the kitchen.
 
For people who love to cook, why not? It's not like she's complaining that she can't pay for her lifestyle... or is she?

[Kitsune]

Seen on FB:   For the first time in my life, I am going to have a range/oven with features far beyond just the very basic. It's a dual oven range with convection in the bottom oven, five burners on top with space for a griddle in the center, and the ability to set it to do things like delay the beginning of the cooking time, then automatically switch to warming once the food is done cooking/baking. And it's self-cleaning. This cook is going to be in heaven! We just ordered it today and got a fantastic deal. I'm excited about using the appliance and admiring how beautiful it looks in my kitchen, and my husband is excited about eating the food that results from owning it.


This is from a young mother. 2 under 2, husband is SAHD, she's a librarian. How much can she make? They bought the oven because they're moving. At least they did DIY for some of the house stuff. Personally, I don't want 2 ovens, it just means I have to clean 2 of them, plus actually use 2!

Hey, if she can afford it (and isn't spending every other day complaining on facebook about how she's broke...) all the best to her. Personally, I think that sounds like a dream, and I'd love to have the same! (Reason we're not buying a new stove while we're building a house: because our old one works perfectly well. Once it gives out and can't be repaired, though... I personally have dreams of a gas stove with flippable burners that can be used on woks. Cooks dream what cooks dream, y'know?

(True fact, though: I can't STAND that sort of FB bragging over new posessions and accomplishments. Hits a 'hells no' wall in my WASP-y upbringing...)

[Kitsunegari]

Seen on FB:   For the first time in my life, I am going to have a range/oven with features far beyond just the very basic. It's a dual oven range with convection in the bottom oven, five burners on top with space for a griddle in the center, and the ability to set it to do things like delay the beginning of the cooking time, then automatically switch to warming once the food is done cooking/baking. And it's self-cleaning. This cook is going to be in heaven! We just ordered it today and got a fantastic deal. I'm excited about using the appliance and admiring how beautiful it looks in my kitchen, and my husband is excited about eating the food that results from owning it.


This is from a young mother. 2 under 2, husband is SAHD, she's a librarian. How much can she make? They bought the oven because they're moving. At least they did DIY for some of the house stuff. Personally, I don't want 2 ovens, it just means I have to clean 2 of them, plus actually use 2!

Hey, if she can afford it (and isn't spending every other day complaining on facebook about how she's broke...) all the best to her. Personally, I think that sounds like a dream, and I'd love to have the same! (Reason we're not buying a new stove while we're building a house: because our old one works perfectly well. Once it gives out and can't be repaired, though... I personally have dreams of a gas stove with flippable burners that can be used on woks. Cooks dream what cooks dream, y'know?

(True fact, though: I can't STAND that sort of FB bragging over new posessions and accomplishments. Hits a 'hells no' wall in my WASP-y upbringing...)

+1 on all you said!
Our stove is in pretty good shape and we do all the best to keep it this way, but the moment she'll die for good, we'll get one as Sibley described :D
Too bad the link to the gas pipes is so damn expensive here...

[AlanStache]

...
Personally, I don't want 2 ovens, it just means I have to clean 2 of them, plus actually use 2!

No, you can go twice as long between cleanings and twice never is a really long time!!!

[RunHappy]

Seen on FB:   For the first time in my life, I am going to have a range/oven with features far beyond just the very basic. It's a dual oven range with convection in the bottom oven, five burners on top with space for a griddle in the center, and the ability to set it to do things like delay the beginning of the cooking time, then automatically switch to warming once the food is done cooking/baking. And it's self-cleaning. This cook is going to be in heaven! We just ordered it today and got a fantastic deal. I'm excited about using the appliance and admiring how beautiful it looks in my kitchen, and my husband is excited about eating the food that results from owning it.


This is from a young mother. 2 under 2, husband is SAHD, she's a librarian. How much can she make? They bought the oven because they're moving. At least they did DIY for some of the house stuff. Personally, I don't want 2 ovens, it just means I have to clean 2 of them, plus actually use 2!

In her defense, that stove sounds amazing, and a real game-changer in the kitchen.
 
For people who love to cook, why not? It's not like she's complaining that she can't pay for her lifestyle... or is she?

I see both sides.  My SO wants a fancy stove/oven with double ovens and a warmer, but he cooks all our meals and is a classically trained chef.  Me on the other hand could probably get away with never owning anything more than a microwave.  For someone like me it would be a huge money waster, for him, I would probably never be able to pry him away from it.

[zephyr911]

I get the whole "have good equipment for the things you love doing", but realizing there's very little difference in efficiency OR outcome with spendypants kitchen gear has helped me walk away from a shit-heap of wants without sacrificing my love for whipping up awesome food on a near-daily basis. (I'm the cook in our family, DW is capable but dislikes it and rarely does it). Between a regular smoothtop stove, crock pot, and electric grill, I've hosted 10-20 people in recent time without ever being limited by production capacity.

I've used espresso machines worth more than some cars, and I've used a $5 crapass garage-sale machine to make more or less equal drinks with just slightly more time and skill required. I settled on $100 worth of equipment to make a better capp than I can buy, in less time. The same is true with stoves and ovens... most of the upgrades people do are far beyond the point of diminishing returns, with most of the cost going into cosmetics, small portions to time savings and convenience, and virtually no unique capabilities added.

Unless you're doing actual income-producing work out of your kitchen, the vanishingly small time savings on faster heat or greater multitasking capability are nowhere near enough to justify the expense some of these people brag about. It's silly.