Overheard at Work

[okonumiyaki]

I have a BA and MA in engineering - the university I went to calls all teaching/ exam based degrees BA or MA. 

BSc/ BEng degrees are just so red brick darling... :)

[galliver]

Also if you find it difficult (impossible?) to love or respect someone who is less intelligent (as measured by IQ or SAT?) or that would make less money than you, then why do you expect your husband to love and respect you?  Maybe thats a bit harsh but I'm always interested on why its generally acceptable for women to expect (demand?) to marry a smarter/harder working/ richer guy.

Different people want different things, which is how relationships even work. I could never date younger guys, myself. My age or a few years older was fine/great, but I couldn't respect someone younger in the way I needed to so I would feel attracted to and/or love them. And like serpentstooth, I needed someone who was smarter than me. I evaluated it somewhat differently; my bf dropped out of college and I'm doing my PhD, and he's still, fundamentally, more intelligent. It's not important to me that he out-earn me, or that I stay home (in fact, I'm glad he's open to being the stay at home parent, at least ideologically). My requirement has more to do with wanting to have an intellectual conversation and being able to learn from him. And you know what? It's entirely possible that he finds me smarter than him, too. In fact, it's entirely possible that we both are smarter than each other, just in slightly different ways.

So why is it wrong for me to want the opposite? I wanted to be the mother of many children, which is generally incompatible with a career. Pregnancy alone is hard to handle while working, let alone several in realistically quick succession. I wanted to home school. My husband thinks these, along with all my other contributions on the domestic realm are good and interesting and valuable and he respects me for them. He wanted different things in a marriage partner than I did.

It's only sexist if you advocate for this as the natural/expected/correct state of existence for everyone. I think the beauty of feminism is giving everyone all the options, and that includes respecting women who choose to stay home and raise their kids!

I don't find less intelligent people unworthy of respect or admiration in general. But what I find pleasant in a sales clerk or colleague or employee or acquaintance or friend is different than what I wanted in the most significant relationship in my life. Marriage is the one place it's a very good idea to be discriminating, in the old sense of the word.

Totally agreed! Political correctness just doesn't hold in relationships. I mean, I guess maybe if you "do/don't date [race/nationality] guys/girls because they're [stereotypical trait]" that's a douche view to hold. But if it just comes down to "I've just never been attracted to tall/short/hairy/bald/blue eyed/smart/dumb/educated/handy/clumsy/etc" then there's not much that can be done. People just like different traits in each other, and that's awesome!

[Cressida]

Also if you find it difficult (impossible?) to love or respect someone who is less intelligent (as measured by IQ or SAT?) or that would make less money than you, then why do you expect your husband to love and respect you?  Maybe thats a bit harsh but I'm always interested on why its generally acceptable for women to expect (demand?) to marry a smarter/harder working/ richer guy.

+10

[wepner]

I'm not sure if it's fair for me to single out women as trying to marry up. I notice it way more but maybe that's leftover from when I was really lonely and felt like I wasn't good enough for a lot of women.

Galliver you seem to be describing a relationship where you have roughly the same level of intelligence that's awesome. I'm not trying to attack anyone for valuing intelligence or work ethic or earning power or whatever.

 But it seems problematic to want someone that is "better" than you. Maybe it's hard to argue if older or younger or blue eyes or green eyes or tall or short are "better" but who would prefer to be less intelligent or earn less money for the same work? People never say I want to marry someone who is more intelligent but less physically attractive or more prone to disease than me, is that just implied?

If I'm starting a bakery and I'm looking for a partner to split the profits 50/50 it's perfectly reasonable that I expect them to be good at baking but why should I reasonably expect someone to accept my terms if I demand someone that is "better" at baking than me (assuming I don't specify any areas where I will pick up the slack?)

[LennStar]

With regards to the i7 and SLI GPU's, some possible reasons for the setup
2) Some people donate computational time to scientific research (called folding)
3) It may be a steam box (basically a console for playing PC games on the TV)
4) Bitcoin mining (though, it is getting harder and harder to make money from it).

4) makes no sense for at least 2 years, even 1st and 2nd generation ASICs are now too slow. Just a week a go a Berlin startup said it woudl build a "supercomputer" just for mining. Which is from Bitcoins own point of view a very dumb thing. In short, Bitcoin mining is only profitable anymore for commercial miners.

I prefer gridcoin, which creates blocks without  energy wasted, but determinescoin  output based on:
2) BOINC projects (not just protein folding) - Gridcoin pays you for your work (great if you already doing that, like me) and hopefully moves miners from wasting energy on chainbuilding to donating it to science.

For 3) it also sounds way oversized.

[Malaysia41]

What thread is this again?

[Caella]

Off topic:

I value "being smart" a LOT on my relationships. It is really a defining point when i choose a life long partner. He should be just as smart as I am. Or smarter in different areas / dumber in others. I think it's very important because it helps us to learn from each other, to have constructive talks about every topic. And his brains is a big part of why i love and respect him so much. This is not being a gold digger, this is wanting to grow in life together.
On the other hand, his ability to make money is borderline irrelevant to me. He is unemployed, is yet to figure out what he wants to work on. I fell in love with computers early in life, so I make good bucks. The money is enough for our little family of 2. If he gets a job, nice. Our journey to FI will just be accelerated. If not, he will still be there for us to joke and talk and love each other without money being a issue.

On topic:

As a part of benefits package, some jobs offer a "debit card" that you can use only on grocery stores. Every month the employer deposits X value (say, R$200.00) on your account, and you use it just like a regular account, but the card is only accepted on select grocery stores. Giving out this card instead of money saves the employer some tax money, so it's very common in Brazil.

I was talking to a ex-coworker (i changed jobs, he stayed) about grocery spending and mentioned that on my new job i don't get this special card, that the  money is deposited directly on my regular checking account, which i love, because i can save money on groceries and spend the money in something else (cough, investments, cough).

He was flabbergasted. Couldn't wrap his mind on how I had money to pay for groceries without the card. Because money on the checking account is spent, and then it wont have enough for groceries at the end of the month.

[PloddingInsight]

So should someone who wants a high powered, time intensive career, place no thought into how this is likely to affect their home and family life? If a person like that wants someone who places a low value on earning money and is interested in being the high earner's support system, is that bad, or is it only bad if the low earner comes up with that idea on their own, without the high earner's suggestion?

You are free to do whatever you like.  I am free to call you out for being a shallow golddigger.

I could divorce my wife and take up with a perky 19 year old with daddy issues.  You would be free to call me a dirty old man.

I'm all for live and let live, but neither of us would expect to publicly proclaim our shallow self-centered behavior without expecting some backlash.  I have merely offered you what you surely already expected, an appropriate label for your 19 year-old self. 

A woman who makes "rich breadwinner" her primary criteria in choosing a mate is no different from a man who makes "big titties" his primary criteria in choosing a mate. 

Maybe you deserve each other?  In that case, I wish you happiness and long life.  Far away from me and my family, as I'm raising children here and I'm trying to protect them from attitudes like yours for as long as possible.

Reported.

[GuitarStv]

Our college only granted BA, BF and BM degrees. So my husband has BA degrees in Computer Science and Math. It's never been considered a problem or inferior to a BS, as far as I know.

Hmmm . .. a degree in BMs?  I think we can all agree that that is a  . . . shitty degree?


:P

Bachelor of Music, I think.  Much like the earlier BS vs. BA conversation, the BMs looked down on the BA Music majors (of whom I was one).

Yup. My husband has one in Piano Performance. The conservatory gave out BMs in ______ performance, the liberal arts college offered a generic music BA. I don't remember much tension, but if you wanted to do vocal or anything musical that wasn't classical performance, you had to get a BA. Our year had some pretty solid composers, two phenomenal cellists who were good enough to go to the conservatory but had more serious academic interests than musical, a modern composer and a couple women who are now working opera singers.

When I did work at an old age home, bowel movements were referred to as BMs.  Hence the joke about the BM degree.  :P

[eyePod]

So should someone who wants a high powered, time intensive career, place no thought into how this is likely to affect their home and family life? If a person like that wants someone who places a low value on earning money and is interested in being the high earner's support system, is that bad, or is it only bad if the low earner comes up with that idea on their own, without the high earner's suggestion?

You are free to do whatever you like.  I am free to call you out for being a shallow golddigger.

I could divorce my wife and take up with a perky 19 year old with daddy issues.  You would be free to call me a dirty old man.

I'm all for live and let live, but neither of us would expect to publicly proclaim our shallow self-centered behavior without expecting some backlash.  I have merely offered you what you surely already expected, an appropriate label for your 19 year-old self. 

A woman who makes "rich breadwinner" her primary criteria in choosing a mate is no different from a man who makes "big titties" his primary criteria in choosing a mate. 

Maybe you deserve each other?  In that case, I wish you happiness and long life.  Far away from me and my family, as I'm raising children here and I'm trying to protect them from attitudes like yours for as long as possible.

Eh, I think you're going a little crazy. She knew she wanted to be able to support her family, it's not like she was asking him to support her jewelry habit. Big difference, and at least it's thought out and wasn't a whim. Not for me, but I get it.

[Guizmo]

What thread is this again?

Either the Liberal Arts VS STEM Degrees

or Choosing your partner in college

[tipster350]

This off-topic discussion is boring and meaningless. I don't care how smart you think you are, how much better you think your degree is, or how appropriate you think it is to go husband shopping at a selective college.

Can we please get back to rolling our eyes at antimustachian coworkers?

[Timmmy]

We get paid weekly on Thursday and today we got news that direct deposits won't be hitting our bank accounts until Friday due to the bank holiday.  It's like the world is coming to an end.  Talk about living on a razor thin margin. 

[Chranstronaut]

...
Cubemate looks at him and says "I own some company stock but I don't think it's a good idea to put all your eggs in one basket, what if we tank one day?"
...

YAY!  Good for your coworker for saying something.

Two of my colleagues were just accepted for very prestigious promotions and were offered an amount of company stock (current cash value >$30k) as a bonus.  A previous conversation revealed that one of the colleagues is fully invested in his 401k in an index that tracks our company stock.  So... he's only invested in our company and now even more so...  Thank goodness they still have a pension!

[frugalnacho]

When I did work at an old age home, bowel movements were referred to as BMs.  Hence the joke about the BM degree.  :P

Maybe i'm the only one that got and appreciated the low brow toilet humor.  Keep 'em comin'.

[GardenFun]

Working a multi-week sub-aide assignment at the local school.  Mentioned it to an acquaintance who responded with "perfect timing to use that extra money for Christmas!".

Didn't know what to say because that thought never went through my head.  Christmas is already budgeted and 2/3rds purchased.  Was actually going to use it to open investment accounts for the kids.  Now that's a Christmas present!   

[BPA]

What thread is this again?

ha ha ha ha ha

I was about to come here to post about someone at work saying, "I spend a lot of money to look good.  I deserve it.  Facial cream X is expensive but really worth it."  Truthfully she certainly doesn't look like she spends a lot of money on skin care, make up, and clothes.  What a waste of money.

And then I wondered, "Holy shit!  114 pages?"

I'm grateful that where I work the scientists and engineers and humanities and social science majors all exist in harmony respecting each others' disciplines.  I'm reminded of university when the engineering students would crash our wine and cheese parties and brag about how their keggers were better.

I'm glad that in my social circle, we all outgrew that nasty judgment.

[wepner]

If anyone wants to talk about whether or not its weird to require a man be richer and smarter than you in order to marry him is weird or not please post in this new thread I created.


http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/what-traitscharacteristics-are-'reasonable'-to-expect-from-a-spouse/msg464100/#msg464100

[Elderwood17]

We get paid weekly on Thursday and today we got news that direct deposits won't be hitting our bank accounts until Friday due to the bank holiday.  It's like the world is coming to an end.  Talk about living on a razor thin margin.

We experienced that once due to an IT glitch.  I had co-workers that honestly acted like a guy named Guito was going to be removing thumbs that night as a result.  Strange.

[Adventine]

If anyone wants to talk about whether or not its weird to require a man be richer and smarter than you in order to marry him is weird or not please post in this new thread I created.


http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/what-traitscharacteristics-are-'reasonable'-to-expect-from-a-spouse/msg464100/#msg464100

Thank you, wepner. That particular conversation was getting out of hand.

Now, back to Overheard at Work!

I usually bring enough food for lunch, dinner and snacks to the office, and am happy to share with my coworkers. A couple of them have commented, sometimes with great concern, on how expensive my grocery bill must be, since I bring "fancy" food to work (salad, couscous, cream cheese, European bread, chocolate, grapes, cashews, etc.) I always get a kick out of that, because I buy everything at the supermarket, and as much as possible on sale, so all my food costs a fraction of what they think it does.

Apart from that misplaced concern, though, my coworkers are a pretty frugal bunch. Nowhere near the insanity of some people mentioned in this thread. :)

[slugline]

A previous conversation revealed that one of the colleagues is fully invested in his 401k in an index that tracks our company stock.

An index that tracks one stock? What's the difference between that and investing in the shares of stock directly?

[GuitarStv]

A previous conversation revealed that one of the colleagues is fully invested in his 401k in an index that tracks our company stock.

An index that tracks one stock? What's the difference between that and investing in the shares of stock directly?

Maybe so you could buy partial shares?

[skunkfunk]

IMost of the musicians I know earn part of their money by giving private lessons or working in a music school. Private cello lessons by the way go for 120-130 $/hour here. Money wise the best you could do is to get a permanent position in opera orchestra although not everyone wants because then your schedule doesn't depend from you alone anymore.

You're not paying for that one hour, you're paying for thousands of hours of previously unpaid practice to learn enough for that moment, hours that would not be spent on a different career. Having done both that and engineering, I can tell you that there is far more unpaid practice for an elite musician. As an engineer, I get my practice on the clock.

And regarding the college selection - there may be a big difference in SAT scores between schools, but the "average" is going to be similar in similar programs. I was far above average for my local state school, hence the full ride, but around average for an engineering physics student (and perhaps below average for the ones who got through the extremely rigorous pharmacy program.) The biggest difference is probably the very low graduation rate for those ones that wouldn't have been able to get in at a "better" school.

All anecdotal conclusions wrong or your money back.

[Lizzy B.]

Not financial, but someone at work described how his daughter, who just got a pair of blue jeans as her birthday gift, wore said jeans for four days in a row.  He was disgusted, even though his daughter had washed them at least once in those four days.  I guess he feels jeans get gross after one wearing.   In the nice, cool fall…  When you’re sitting in a classroom…

I don’t see why this is such a big issue for some people.  I mean, that’s what underwear is for, right?  Just think how grossed-out he’d be if he knew I wore my shirts more than once between washes.  Oh the horror!   


 

[frugalnacho]

Jeans are supposed to be washed?

[Pooperman]

Not work, but family. Pitagirl (SO) and I were talking while we went off to the grocery store. Her SIL is a wealth funny things to post here.

1) Pitagirl's Niece wants Air Jordans ($160/pair, she's 7?). SIL went off to get them.

2) SIL calls us "cheap" for hang drying clothes and general frugalness.

3) SIL sees an air mattress (twin) we had out when Pitagirl's friend was over and tells her kids that Pitagirl doesn't love them because they can't stay over yet (waiting on pullout couch to be delivered).

4) SIL and BIL both drive SUVs, have a giant house, etc. Attempting to be Upper Middle Class on a Lower Middle Class income. BIL will not turn the heat on at work (he's a mechanic) because it costs too much, but he's ok with spending $160 on a pair of shoes for his daughter.

5) With all this wastefulness, SIL always comes around with fundraising campaigns so the kids (niece and nephew (9)) can go on soccer trips and other things that could easily be saved for if they could save.

6) MIL pays for their insurance and she'll retire in a year (she's 64). They don't know what they are going to do to pay for insurance! I believe this is health insurance, but it may also be other kinds too. BIL is diabetic on top of all of the other things.

7) MIL also owns the garage where BIL works as a mechanic and she wants to sell it now that she's getting on up in age.

8) SIL attempts to get Pitagirl to buy things for Niece and Nephew that she can't afford but that they want, and gets all annoyed when Pitagirl says no. We're not paying $160 for a pair of shoes when the most expensive shoes I have EVER bought were a $99 pair of dress shoes!

So Pitagirl and I, from our outside vantage point, get a good laugh at their self-inflicted misery and remind ourselves why frugality is so important. We feel bad for what the kids will go through, so I give a little bit of financial information to them once in a while (i.e. gas cost $0.80 when I was your age -> ensuing explanation of inflation).

[Timmmy]

Jeans are supposed to be washed?

Not for a very long time.  I'll wear a pair of blue jeans until they become either visibly dirty/stained or smell.  This could be a few days, a few weeks or longer.  I only own a few pairs of jeans.  I wear them frequently until they get ripped somewhere then they get downgraded to "use for dirty projects".  It's usually several years before they wear out at that rate.  Washing jeans after every wearing is INSANE!!

[frugalnacho]

Jeans should be worn until they can stand up on their own.

[Gen Y Finance Journey]

Last night I discovered a great indicator for when jeans need to be washed: when they've stretched to the point that my husband refers to me as "saggy britches."

[SisterX]

During the winter, my husband actually gets mad at me when I wash his fleece-lined jeans.  "You're washing all the warmth out of them!!"  Meaning, the layer of dirt, grime, and sweat creates another layer and makes them even warmer.  LOL!

[Albert]

Jeans should be worn until they can stand up on their own.

If you wear them to work like I do then yes they should be washed once a week and no they can't be ripped either. Still cheaper than having to wear formal clothing regularly.

[Albert]

A co-worker/friend just bought a holiday apartment in the mountains for half a million franks to be used only 5-6 weeks a year. I like her a lot and the family is certainly financially well above average, but sometimes I worry that they are not really wealthy  enough for the type of spending they engage in. The good part is that I will be able to stay there occasionally when they are not.

[dragoncar]

Offtopic:

Heard this one: "Well the commutes gonna be a lot longer, but it was only $100 more per month for a 3 bedroom"

[frugalnacho]

Offtopic:

Heard this one: "Well the commutes gonna be a lot longer, but it was only $100 more per month for a 3 bedroom"

So it all cancels out.

[arebelspy]

Offtopic:

Heard this one: "Well the commutes gonna be a lot longer, but it was only $100 more per month for a 3 bedroom"

So it all cancels out.

I lol'd.

[Chranstronaut]

A previous conversation revealed that one of the colleagues is fully invested in his 401k in an index that tracks our company stock.

An index that tracks one stock? What's the difference between that and investing in the shares of stock directly?

Maybe so you could buy partial shares?

I misspoke.  Rather than being an index, it's a group fund that communally holds 95% the value in company stock on behalf of all employees who bought in, and 5% in cash.  I had to ask the forums what it was because I had no idea.  Thanks to ZiziPB, I'm pretty sure it's a way to get employees to invest in the company through the 401k because there are no individual stocks in those accounts.  There is no discount or special match to buy this, so there's no financial incentive to mess with it over the other options.

[skunkfunk]

[dumpster fire]

Hopefully she'll wake up. My sister did after her second bankruptcy, now she's gone full-blown Dave Ramsey.

[slugline]

I misspoke.  Rather than being an index, it's a group fund that communally holds 95% the value in company stock on behalf of all employees who bought in, and 5% in cash.

Oh, yeah -- I used to work for a one-time member of the Fortune 500 that rhymed with "hurled bomb." ;) We had a 401K investment option just like that, but I knew enough to avoid it. Diversify, diversify, diversify....

[RunningWithScissors]

Asked a coworker how his weekend was and got a long story about all the shopping he and his wife are doing for new furniture.  He's in his twenties, the only breadwinner, with two kids under 3 years old, new car and is about to move into his brand new custom built house, which I'm guessing is about 2500 ft2.  Even with young kids, his wife didn't want to move the old furniture into the new house so everything is being replaced.  /*facepalm/

I smiled and said nothing.

[Eric]

CW: There's supposed to be a lot of good Black Friday sales this year
Me: I think they say that every year.
CW: No, but a lot better than last year.  I'm thinking about getting a new (apple) laptop
Me:  Didn't you just get a new iPhone6 a month ago?
CW: Yeah, but this laptop is getting old
Me:  You might as well get a new car too
CW: *thinking*...*thinking*... no, I think mine's fine for now (he drives a 1 year old BMW)
Me: Okay, good luck!

[PMG]

Not the craziest thing on here but we get paid the 15th and 30th.  There was much celebrating because the 30th is a Sunday and payroll will be deposited on the 28th.

I'm ok being paid early but it really doesn't change anything that I do or how I use that money. 

[BlueHouse]

What makes a degree useful or not?

I don't use any of the stuff I learned in college, but in order to have my extremely cushy and well-paid job, I have to have the B.S. on my resume.  Just having the letters shows people that I was able to complete a course of study.  I don't think BS or BA would make any difference for what I do, but I could be wrong. 

I also won't hire anyone without a degree.  For any professional position.   (sorry, just a bias and I know it doesn't mean that I get higher quality people.  It's just an easy way to reduce my workload when sifting through piles of resumes)

[Zikoris]

What makes a degree useful or not?

I don't use any of the stuff I learned in college, but in order to have my extremely cushy and well-paid job, I have to have the B.S. on my resume.  Just having the letters shows people that I was able to complete a course of study.  I don't think BS or BA would make any difference for what I do, but I could be wrong. 

I also won't hire anyone without a degree.  For any professional position.   (sorry, just a bias and I know it doesn't mean that I get higher quality people.  It's just an easy way to reduce my workload when sifting through piles of resumes)

How do you define a professional position? From time to time I see job advertisements for file clerks that ask for a degree, and that seems a little crazy to me.

[robotclown]

The Hyundai dealership nearby is having a sale (50% off MSRP), so some of the people I work with are kicking around the idea of buying one, waiting for the sale to end, then selling it. 

I feel like between having to register, insure, finding a new buyer while paying interest, and the fact that you changed the car from 'new' to 'used', there's not any profit to be made there.  And if there was, someone would already be doing it.  And if someone wanted a Hyundai they could buy a new one during the sale, so the only market is people who didn't want it new during the sale but do want it almost-new at twice the price, which is not exactly a seller's market.

[boarder42]

The Hyundai dealership nearby is having a sale (50% off MSRP), so some of the people I work with are kicking around the idea of buying one, waiting for the sale to end, then selling it. 

I feel like between having to register, insure, finding a new buyer while paying interest, and the fact that you changed the car from 'new' to 'used', there's not any profit to be made there.  And if there was, someone would already be doing it.  And if someone wanted a Hyundai they could buy a new one during the sale, so the only market is people who didn't want it new during the sale but do want it almost-new at twice the price, which is not exactly a seller's market.

Depending on the discount and what the used ones are selling for it may be a great deal.  you would need to evaluate it though to see if it was worth it.  I expect it.  The slightly used market is HUGE b/c people think they are getting a good deal. 

[dycker1978]

Not the craziest thing on here but we get paid the 15th and 30th.  There was much celebrating because the 30th is a Sunday and payroll will be deposited on the 28th.

I'm ok being paid early but it really doesn't change anything that I do or how I use that money.

Ha I get paid on the 15th and end as well... I didnt even notice that we got paid early...  All my money comes in... all my money gets transfered where it needs to go via electronics funds... so pay day doesnt really matter to me. 

I will enjoy the complaining because the 15th is on a monday this time and they had to wait two extra days now...

[ketchup]

Jeans are supposed to be washed?

http://abcnews.go.com/US/canadian-student-josh-le-year-washing-jeans/story?id=12722442

[Ms. Peachfuzz]

Jeans are supposed to be washed?

http://abcnews.go.com/US/canadian-student-josh-le-year-washing-jeans/story?id=12722442

Haha, I worked with this guy. He was certainly a much snappier dresser after he finished that experiment.

[jordanread]

Jeans are supposed to be washed?

http://abcnews.go.com/US/canadian-student-josh-le-year-washing-jeans/story?id=12722442

That was a fun article.

[Chranstronaut]

Jeans are supposed to be washed?

http://abcnews.go.com/US/canadian-student-josh-le-year-washing-jeans/story?id=12722442

Thank god my coworkers don't know how often I do laundry or shower...