Author Topic: Overheard at Work  (Read 8280204 times)

solon

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20800 on: August 09, 2018, 01:17:40 PM »
Isn't valuing an experience over stuff an important concept though? (given, this is totally a ridiculous experience given their financial/job status)

I totally like the way the trend is going to give money instead of *things*... but that's just me.

PS. I did get a lovely ceramic knife for Xmas once from a sibling. It started my new love affair with ceramic knives...

True. I don't want to devalue the experience for them. I guess it is just hard for me to swallow the fact that my hypothetical money contribution, along with the contributions of all my friends, are just going to end up paying for some hotel...

When giving a present, it's not about what you value/want. It's what the giftee values/wants.


Sir Tom of Ato

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20801 on: August 09, 2018, 01:25:04 PM »
When giving a present, it's not about what you value/want. It's what the giftee values/wants.

...Its still an idea I dislike (an overly expensive honeymoon, ugh), but don't compound the errors. We can teach people to become mustachian, don't force it on them.

Wow I guess I hadn't really thought about it this way...hmmm. Now I'm conflicted...I suppose I will have to think some more before I make a decision. Maybe I should give them some money and just a single really big knife :)


gooki

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20802 on: August 10, 2018, 03:40:54 AM »
That's a bit murdery.

Imma

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20803 on: August 10, 2018, 02:59:31 PM »
One thing I don't get at all are big weddings with honeymoons and big gifts and a wedding registry etc. Although I've personally never been to a wedding like that, in our social circle people tend to have really low-key weddings. I only hear other people's horror stories. Half of people get divorced anyway, and sometimes I think that there might be a correlation between big expensive weddings and divorce statistics.


LennStar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20804 on: August 11, 2018, 12:26:42 AM »
One thing I don't get at all are big weddings with honeymoons and big gifts and a wedding registry etc. Although I've personally never been to a wedding like that, in our social circle people tend to have really low-key weddings. I only hear other people's horror stories. Half of people get divorced anyway, and sometimes I think that there might be a correlation between big expensive weddings and divorce statistics.

There is. 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/01/25/expensive-wedding-higher-odds-divorce/

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20805 on: August 11, 2018, 01:05:35 PM »
Feeling mildly guilty about judging here, but here goes:

Nice fellow at work leaves the parking garage behind me and notices that I have a different car than he remembers.  I notice he also has something different in my rear view mirror but think nothing of it, whatever.  Nice fellow wants to tell me about his new car though so he uses the chance encounter to ask about my car and I reciprocate with the question about his. 

My car:  2015 Honda CR-V bought in January 2018 at the Alfa Romeo dealership.  They had it as a trade-in sitting on their lot since September 2017 with only 15K miles and I snapped it up for cash at a great price, and it has all the premo stuff.  I got rid of the car I had been driving for 9 years up to this point which had also been bought as a 5YO used car (it was a 2004 model I bought for cash in 2009). 

His car:  2018 Alfa Romeo Stelvio, coincidenally bought at the same dealership this month.  He ordered it special and it has all the premo stuff.  Payments.  He is 60 and will be working a while longer since he is aiming for the company pension and SS as he knows you are expected to do, no thought of any other plan.

He seems very content and is pleased as punch about his car, just absolutely loves it.  I see the same car and it makes my skin crawl, I just couldn't do that with my money, but I nodded with enthusiasm and didn't question the choice at all.  Not my business.  The guy talks about wanting to retire now and again but is not a big complainer so I think he is living the life he wants. 

But to me the difference is so stark when you compare goals and life plans and habits of consumption.  The fact that we bought the cars at the exact same dealership with drastically different mindsets is interesting indeed.  It makes me wonder if there will be a shadow of doubt crossing his mind about the choice when I leave as an extremely early retiree and he is still there.  Probably not though.             

markbike528CBX

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20806 on: August 11, 2018, 04:31:59 PM »
I hope it was the Quadrifoglio 505hp, otherwise it is the same as the CR-V ( a nice, but sort of generic SUV/crossover)

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20807 on: August 11, 2018, 04:39:57 PM »
Not totally sure if he went full hog and got that or just got the Lusso AWD.  He was commenting that he went on a long road trip down to Dusty (you know where that is, neighbor of mine) and the thing had some serious hunker down mode that meant he barely had to pay attention while it hugged the curves of the Palouse.  Sounded like a very fun ride except for the drag created by the payment book flapping the breeze behind him ;-)


markbike528CBX

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20808 on: August 11, 2018, 04:59:28 PM »
I've only been through Dusty once or twice, and didn't remember it, had to do a google map lookup.

I can visualize the flapping payment book.  Nice turn of phrase.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20809 on: August 11, 2018, 09:50:58 PM »
Not totally sure if he went full hog and got that or just got the Lusso AWD.  He was commenting that he went on a long road trip down to Dusty (you know where that is, neighbor of mine) and the thing had some serious hunker down mode that meant he barely had to pay attention while it hugged the curves of the Palouse.  Sounded like a very fun ride except for the drag created by the payment book flapping the breeze behind him ;-)

Wtf is a hunker down mode?

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20810 on: August 12, 2018, 05:17:18 PM »
Feeling mildly guilty about judging here, but here goes:

Nice fellow at work leaves the parking garage behind me and notices that I have a different car than he remembers.  I notice he also has something different in my rear view mirror but think nothing of it, whatever.  Nice fellow wants to tell me about his new car though so he uses the chance encounter to ask about my car and I reciprocate with the question about his. 

My car:  2015 Honda CR-V bought in January 2018 at the Alfa Romeo dealership.  They had it as a trade-in sitting on their lot since September 2017 with only 15K miles and I snapped it up for cash at a great price, and it has all the premo stuff.  I got rid of the car I had been driving for 9 years up to this point which had also been bought as a 5YO used car (it was a 2004 model I bought for cash in 2009). 

His car:  2018 Alfa Romeo Stelvio, coincidenally bought at the same dealership this month.  He ordered it special and it has all the premo stuff.  Payments.  He is 60 and will be working a while longer since he is aiming for the company pension and SS as he knows you are expected to do, no thought of any other plan.

He seems very content and is pleased as punch about his car, just absolutely loves it.  I see the same car and it makes my skin crawl, I just couldn't do that with my money, but I nodded with enthusiasm and didn't question the choice at all.  Not my business.  The guy talks about wanting to retire now and again but is not a big complainer so I think he is living the life he wants. 

But to me the difference is so stark when you compare goals and life plans and habits of consumption.  The fact that we bought the cars at the exact same dealership with drastically different mindsets is interesting indeed.  It makes me wonder if there will be a shadow of doubt crossing his mind about the choice when I leave as an extremely early retiree and he is still there.  Probably not though.           

Did you buy his trade-in?

nick663

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20811 on: August 12, 2018, 05:53:01 PM »
Not totally sure if he went full hog and got that or just got the Lusso AWD.  He was commenting that he went on a long road trip down to Dusty (you know where that is, neighbor of mine) and the thing had some serious hunker down mode that meant he barely had to pay attention while it hugged the curves of the Palouse.  Sounded like a very fun ride except for the drag created by the payment book flapping the breeze behind him ;-)

Wtf is a hunker down mode?
I assume he was referring to some kind of sport mode.  Not familiar with the Alfa but most higher end vehicles have semi active or active dampers with tunes that can completely change the character of the vehicle.

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20812 on: August 13, 2018, 09:56:36 AM »
Some of these cars will also lower the suspension when they are put into sport mode. Don't know if the Alfa-Romeos have this feature.

Dragonswan

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20813 on: August 13, 2018, 11:06:28 AM »
Not totally sure if he went full hog and got that or just got the Lusso AWD.  He was commenting that he went on a long road trip down to Dusty (you know where that is, neighbor of mine) and the thing had some serious hunker down mode that meant he barely had to pay attention while it hugged the curves of the Palouse.  Sounded like a very fun ride except for the drag created by the payment book flapping the breeze behind him ;-)

Wtf is a hunker down mode?
It's what sports cars do to avoid detection by lusty dragons.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20814 on: August 13, 2018, 11:28:21 AM »
Not totally sure if he went full hog and got that or just got the Lusso AWD.  He was commenting that he went on a long road trip down to Dusty (you know where that is, neighbor of mine) and the thing had some serious hunker down mode that meant he barely had to pay attention while it hugged the curves of the Palouse.  Sounded like a very fun ride except for the drag created by the payment book flapping the breeze behind him ;-)

Wtf is a hunker down mode?
It's what sports cars do to avoid detection by lusty dragons.


Steeze

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20815 on: August 13, 2018, 12:23:28 PM »
Coworker age 65 recently spoke to me about not being able to retire for another 5 years or so as he need the max SS benefits due to very little savings  and only a small pension of a few hundred dollars a month. He has been an engineer for over 40 years.

Today he asked our HR person for (another) 401k loan to pay for his 13 year old dog's intestine surgery. This is the second such request this year, with vet bills now over $15k.

Dragonswan

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20816 on: August 13, 2018, 01:01:08 PM »
Not totally sure if he went full hog and got that or just got the Lusso AWD.  He was commenting that he went on a long road trip down to Dusty (you know where that is, neighbor of mine) and the thing had some serious hunker down mode that meant he barely had to pay attention while it hugged the curves of the Palouse.  Sounded like a very fun ride except for the drag created by the payment book flapping the breeze behind him ;-)

Wtf is a hunker down mode?
It's what sports cars do to avoid detection by lusty dragons.


Mmhmm.  Some of them will even wrap themselves in chrome-like vinyl (to the tune of 6K) so when they slink around corners the sun will reflect off the coating and blind and/or disorient the dragon.  If you're really determined you can try their proving grounds where they are known to frolic by drag racing or catch one separated from the herd as it pulls out of the temperature controlled garage of a McMansion.

Rightflyer

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20817 on: August 14, 2018, 12:59:22 PM »
Coworker age 65 recently spoke to me about not being able to retire for another 5 years or so as he need the max SS benefits due to very little savings  and only a small pension of a few hundred dollars a month. He has been an engineer for over 40 years.

Today he asked our HR person for (another) 401k loan to pay for his 13 year old dog's intestine surgery. This is the second such request this year, with vet bills now over $15k.

Thank you for calming the foam...


talltexan

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20818 on: August 15, 2018, 12:12:41 PM »
There is a starbucks near our workplace, so it's not strange to see their products around our office floor. But lately it seems like a bunch of the younger co-workers are walking around with Starbucks Water. It's in the same plastic cup with long green straw, but it's...water?!?

I'm a red panda

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20819 on: August 15, 2018, 12:19:32 PM »
There is a starbucks near our workplace, so it's not strange to see their products around our office floor. But lately it seems like a bunch of the younger co-workers are walking around with Starbucks Water. It's in the same plastic cup with long green straw, but it's...water?!?

Are they refilling their cups from a previous purchase to use at work?

Starbucks gives you tap water for free. Some charge 30 cents or so for the cup though.

marcela

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20820 on: August 15, 2018, 12:58:10 PM »
There is a starbucks near our workplace, so it's not strange to see their products around our office floor. But lately it seems like a bunch of the younger co-workers are walking around with Starbucks Water. It's in the same plastic cup with long green straw, but it's...water?!?

Are they refilling their cups from a previous purchase to use at work?

Starbucks gives you tap water for free. Some charge 30 cents or so for the cup though.
That would have been me at my old workplace. We had a lot of breaks where everyone would go down to the neighbouring Starbucks and I would go along to stretch my legs and generally got water. I never was charged. Probably because my coworkers were spending so much.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20821 on: August 15, 2018, 07:26:17 PM »
Not totally sure if he went full hog and got that or just got the Lusso AWD.  He was commenting that he went on a long road trip down to Dusty (you know where that is, neighbor of mine) and the thing had some serious hunker down mode that meant he barely had to pay attention while it hugged the curves of the Palouse.  Sounded like a very fun ride except for the drag created by the payment book flapping the breeze behind him ;-)

Wtf is a hunker down mode?
It's what sports cars do to avoid detection by lusty dragons.


Mmhmm.  Some of them will even wrap themselves in chrome-like vinyl (to the tune of 6K) so when they slink around corners the sun will reflect off the coating and blind and/or disorient the dragon.  If you're really determined you can try their proving grounds where they are known to frolic by drag racing or catch one separated from the herd as it pulls out of the temperature controlled garage of a McMansion.

 Finally, an explanation of the Citroën.

Linda_Norway

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20822 on: August 16, 2018, 07:00:43 AM »
There is a starbucks near our workplace, so it's not strange to see their products around our office floor. But lately it seems like a bunch of the younger co-workers are walking around with Starbucks Water. It's in the same plastic cup with long green straw, but it's...water?!?

Are they refilling their cups from a previous purchase to use at work?

Starbucks gives you tap water for free. Some charge 30 cents or so for the cup though.
That would have been me at my old workplace. We had a lot of breaks where everyone would go down to the neighbouring Starbucks and I would go along to stretch my legs and generally got water. I never was charged. Probably because my coworkers were spending so much.

In my old workplace there was a coffee selling place nearby as well. Some colleagues would buy the fancy coffee for the group of coffee drinkers and with that morally compel the group members to do the same thing back next time.

marcela

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20823 on: August 16, 2018, 07:22:09 AM »
There is a starbucks near our workplace, so it's not strange to see their products around our office floor. But lately it seems like a bunch of the younger co-workers are walking around with Starbucks Water. It's in the same plastic cup with long green straw, but it's...water?!?

Are they refilling their cups from a previous purchase to use at work?

Starbucks gives you tap water for free. Some charge 30 cents or so for the cup though.
That would have been me at my old workplace. We had a lot of breaks where everyone would go down to the neighbouring Starbucks and I would go along to stretch my legs and generally got water. I never was charged. Probably because my coworkers were spending so much.

In my old workplace there was a coffee selling place nearby as well. Some colleagues would buy the fancy coffee for the group of coffee drinkers and with that morally compel the group members to do the same thing back next time.
It was mostly a group of broke interns so there was no buying rounds happening. For some of them, that "coffee" was their dinner. Ah, to be 19 and working in the arts...

Michael in ABQ

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20824 on: August 18, 2018, 09:47:07 PM »
I work in the federal government and am helping my boss out with reviewing resumes for a new hire. I'm a GS-11 which has a base salary of about $62,000. The position being advertised is also a GS-11 but two people who applied made far more so my boss called them to find out why they applied for a job with much lower pay. One guy was in a HCOL area and wanted to be closer to family in our LCOL area. The second guy was local and worked for a different federal agency as a GS-12 making $94,000. When we called him to find out why he was willing to take such a dramatic pay cut he said he thought he could get the job bumped up to GS-12 and basically match his current salary. When my boss informed him that wasn't going to be possible he mentioned he had three kids in college and had just bought three new cars so he couldn't afford a pay cut.


I don't know if he meant three new (used) cars or three brand new cars but WTF. Maybe his kids got a lot of scholarships or his wife has a good income as well but I can't imagine buying one brand new car, let alone three at the same time.

SpareChange

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20825 on: August 19, 2018, 11:40:24 AM »
Coworker age 65 recently spoke to me about not being able to retire for another 5 years or so as he need the max SS benefits due to very little savings  and only a small pension of a few hundred dollars a month. He has been an engineer for over 40 years.

Today he asked our HR person for (another) 401k loan to pay for his 13 year old dog's intestine surgery. This is the second such request this year, with vet bills now over $15k.

Yikes.

KodeBlue

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20826 on: August 19, 2018, 12:46:06 PM »
Today he asked our HR person for (another) 401k loan to pay for his 13 year old dog's intestine surgery. This is the second such request this year, with vet bills now over $15k.

As an animal lover and owner of 3 dogs it always pisses me off when I hear about people subjecting a dog or cat to multiple procedures to prolong thier life. So many times times it just prolongs the animal's suffering. I don't care if you have $10M; at some point you need to do what's best for the pet. This might mean letting go and not letting them stay alive but miserable. <end rant>

frugledoc

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20827 on: August 19, 2018, 03:36:42 PM »
Today he asked our HR person for (another) 401k loan to pay for his 13 year old dog's intestine surgery. This is the second such request this year, with vet bills now over $15k.

As an animal lover and owner of 3 dogs it always pisses me off when I hear about people subjecting a dog or cat to multiple procedures to prolong thier life. So many times times it just prolongs the animal's suffering. I don't care if you have $10M; at some point you need to do what's best for the pet. This might mean letting go and not letting them stay alive but miserable. <end rant>

Same could be said for humans :)

Sun Hat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20828 on: August 19, 2018, 05:26:14 PM »
What sort of obligation, if any, do you feel to caution your friends or "work friends" about the consequences of their profligacy? A former colleague of mine is about to be medically released from the military where she earns about $80k/year. Insurance will provide her with 75% of her previous pay for 2 years, then she'll get a pension worth about $30k/year. She's amassed over $40K in consumer debt while earning $80k, so she needs to adjust her lifestyle - but doesn't see the need.

She has little home equity, a high school education, has moved back to a community with high unemployment, and has pegged her financial future on Veterans' Affairs reconsidering a claim that they've already denied, and plans to sell movie ideas to Netflix. She has few transferable skills and a condition that causes her to be in chronic pain, so her employment prospects are very limited.

She could fix her situation by using the insurance money to pay off her debts if she slashes her spending now, but how do I point her to the right path without telling her that her plans tantamount to magical thinking? Even though we don't have much in common, she's a sweet person, and I don't think that she has anyone else in her life to point her on a less destructive path. What to do?

Freedomin5

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20829 on: August 19, 2018, 05:42:24 PM »
What sort of obligation, if any, do you feel to caution your friends or "work friends" about the consequences of their profligacy? A former colleague of mine is about to be medically released from the military where she earns about $80k/year. Insurance will provide her with 75% of her previous pay for 2 years, then she'll get a pension worth about $30k/year. She's amassed over $40K in consumer debt while earning $80k, so she needs to adjust her lifestyle - but doesn't see the need.

She has little home equity, a high school education, has moved back to a community with high unemployment, and has pegged her financial future on Veterans' Affairs reconsidering a claim that they've already denied, and plans to sell movie ideas to Netflix. She has few transferable skills and a condition that causes her to be in chronic pain, so her employment prospects are very limited.

She could fix her situation by using the insurance money to pay off her debts if she slashes her spending now, but how do I point her to the right path without telling her that her plans tantamount to magical thinking? Even though we don't have much in common, she's a sweet person, and I don't think that she has anyone else in her life to point her on a less destructive path. What to do?

@Sun Hat  If she is a good friend, I’d just invite her out for a meal to catch up, casually ask about her upcoming plans now that her discharge is imminent, and then show her the math. While her Plan A is to have the VA reconsider her claim, I’d ask her what her Plan B was “just in case” VA denied her claim.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2018, 05:45:49 PM by Freedomin5 »

The Fake Cheap

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20830 on: August 19, 2018, 06:08:54 PM »
One thing I don't get at all are big weddings with honeymoons and big gifts and a wedding registry etc. Although I've personally never been to a wedding like that, in our social circle people tend to have really low-key weddings. I only hear other people's horror stories. Half of people get divorced anyway, and sometimes I think that there might be a correlation between big expensive weddings and divorce statistics.

There is. 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/01/25/expensive-wedding-higher-odds-divorce/

It is a theory of mine that the correlation exists because the people are married and get along only while the money is flowing.  Once the trips down south, the new cars, trailers, and new iPhone purchases stop because the credit cards are maxed and the line of credit is tapped, the people realize that they don't really enjoy their partner, and were only getting along/having fun with him/her while there was money to burn.

wauske

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20831 on: Today at 01:37:33 AM »
One thing I don't get at all are big weddings with honeymoons and big gifts and a wedding registry etc. Although I've personally never been to a wedding like that, in our social circle people tend to have really low-key weddings. I only hear other people's horror stories. Half of people get divorced anyway, and sometimes I think that there might be a correlation between big expensive weddings and divorce statistics.

There is. 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/01/25/expensive-wedding-higher-odds-divorce/

Does the inverse hold true as well? We had a €500,- wedding!

Kyle Schuant

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20832 on: Today at 02:43:11 AM »
how do I point her to the right path without telling her that her plans tantamount to magical thinking?
You set your own example, and talk it about enthusiastically. That probably won't work, but it has the best chance of working while not causing a rift between you and her as she gets offended that Netflix isn't going to pay her millions.

USD60k for 2 years followed by USD30k for life without having to work for it is actually pretty good if she lives in a low cost-of-living area. Let's say she lives on 25k,

Yr1: 60k income, 25k spending, debt 40k-->5k
Yr2: 60k income, 25k spending, debt 5k -->0k, savings 0k-->25k.
Yr3 and thereafter, 30k income, 5k spending, savings 25k+5k pa.

That's not huge savings but if she's receiving some sort of disability pension from her military service then she will have zero medical costs, so her savings can be for small investments, hobbies, or travel.

But she almost certainly won't do it. People don't engage in magical thinking for just a year or two out of nowhere and then stop, it's a lifelong practice. Digging further, you'll find similar thinking throughout her life, let me guess: is she also single and dreaming of a 6'4" handsome rich charming educated man who sweeps her off her feet one day? So when I say that you should discuss your own example in a conversational way, that's not in expectation of any positive change on her part as a result, but just so you can get it out of your system.

Sun Hat

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20833 on: Today at 06:54:10 AM »
Thanks for the feedback @Kyle Schuant and @Freedomin5.

One of the few things that my friend and I have in common is that we're both women who were/will be medically released from the military. Our pensions will even be of a pretty similar amount. For me, the 70% reduction in income wasn't a big impact to my daily spending, as I had been saving over 60% of my pay anyways, so I just downsized from my almost-paid for home to a totally paid for home and called it a day. Kyle Schuant is right, hers is a lifetime of magical thinking and poor financial management. Fortunately, we're Canadian, so medical costs aren't a significant factor.

I think that Freedomin5's suggestion of asking about her Plan B is a good one, and far more tactful than anything that I could have come up with on my own. Unfortunately, I won't get to see her face to face, since I only saw her while she was passing through my city enroute her retirement destination and she was traveling with her 14 year old daughter, and I didn't want to shake her by the collar and call her crazy in front of her kid, so I just smiled and nodded when she told me her situation. I'll have to make my query by email.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20834 on: Today at 06:59:04 AM »
... but how do I point her to the right path without telling her that her plans tantamount to magical thinking? Even though we don't have much in common, she's a sweet person, and I don't think that she has anyone else in her life to point her on a less destructive path. What to do?
I'm not very good at this, but I've seen others employ this method to great effect:  ask questions.  Don't (outwardly) judge them or say that they're in dreamland.  Ask the questions that will force them to actually think through their future.  Freedomin5 is on the right track--ask what plan B is.  Ask how much it'll cost to live in her new place.  Ask what kind of jobs are available there.  Ask how she sees her life in 5 years.  Ask the "what if" questions.  Ask her what makes her think the VA will reconsider the previously-denied claim.  Ask her what her actual spending is (does she even know?).

KodeBlue

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20835 on: Today at 07:20:27 AM »
Today he asked our HR person for (another) 401k loan to pay for his 13 year old dog's intestine surgery. This is the second such request this year, with vet bills now over $15k.

As an animal lover and owner of 3 dogs it always pisses me off when I hear about people subjecting a dog or cat to multiple procedures to prolong thier life. So many times times it just prolongs the animal's suffering. I don't care if you have $10M; at some point you need to do what's best for the pet. This might mean letting go and not letting them stay alive but miserable. <end rant>

Same could be said for humans :)
true, but humans can generally make thier wishes known and can refuse treatment. animals can't.

Nicholas Carter

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20836 on: Today at 09:43:07 AM »
It is a theory of mine that the correlation exists because the people are married and get along only while the money is flowing.  Once the trips down south, the new cars, trailers, and new iPhone purchases stop because the credit cards are maxed and the line of credit is tapped, the people realize that they don't really enjoy their partner, and were only getting along/having fun with him/her while there was money to burn.
Alternatively, weddings often serve as a way to leverage Sunk Cost Fallacy to keep the investment in a relationship high. The more uncertain you are in your relationship, the more magic you try to throw on it.

a286

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20837 on: Today at 09:51:57 AM »
It is a theory of mine that the correlation exists because the people are married and get along only while the money is flowing.  Once the trips down south, the new cars, trailers, and new iPhone purchases stop because the credit cards are maxed and the line of credit is tapped, the people realize that they don't really enjoy their partner, and were only getting along/having fun with him/her while there was money to burn.
Alternatively, weddings often serve as a way to leverage Sunk Cost Fallacy to keep the investment in a relationship high. The more uncertain you are in your relationship, the more magic you try to throw on it.

This would explain so much about my BILs recent wedding. He was with his family at the hotel the day of the wedding, getting ready with his brothers, and saying how it only has a 50/50 shot anyways.

Sibley

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20838 on: Today at 12:27:17 PM »
Today he asked our HR person for (another) 401k loan to pay for his 13 year old dog's intestine surgery. This is the second such request this year, with vet bills now over $15k.

As an animal lover and owner of 3 dogs it always pisses me off when I hear about people subjecting a dog or cat to multiple procedures to prolong thier life. So many times times it just prolongs the animal's suffering. I don't care if you have $10M; at some point you need to do what's best for the pet. This might mean letting go and not letting them stay alive but miserable. <end rant>

Same could be said for humans :)
true, but humans can generally make thier wishes known and can refuse treatment. animals can't.

Are you so sure that humans can refuse treatment? If that really were a thing, then the health insurance data would look drastically different than it does. The % of costs paid in the last year of a persons life is really high. Culturally, at least in the US, we're terrified of death and will do anything not to die. Thus ensuring that we have a horrible death in the end.

dcheesi

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20839 on: Today at 01:50:40 PM »
It is a theory of mine that the correlation exists because the people are married and get along only while the money is flowing.  Once the trips down south, the new cars, trailers, and new iPhone purchases stop because the credit cards are maxed and the line of credit is tapped, the people realize that they don't really enjoy their partner, and were only getting along/having fun with him/her while there was money to burn.
Alternatively, weddings often serve as a way to leverage Sunk Cost Fallacy to keep the investment in a relationship high. The more uncertain you are in your relationship, the more magic you try to throw on it.
Or it could be a sign that at least one person in the relationship has unrealistic expectations about marriage. The bride or groom who just has to have their perfect dream day may also be expecting similar dream-like perfection in their married life. And/or they may see the wedding as their ultimate "finish line", and haven't thought much about the rest of their life after that.

penguintroopers

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20840 on: Today at 03:48:16 PM »
Today he asked our HR person for (another) 401k loan to pay for his 13 year old dog's intestine surgery. This is the second such request this year, with vet bills now over $15k.

As an animal lover and owner of 3 dogs it always pisses me off when I hear about people subjecting a dog or cat to multiple procedures to prolong thier life. So many times times it just prolongs the animal's suffering. I don't care if you have $10M; at some point you need to do what's best for the pet. This might mean letting go and not letting them stay alive but miserable. <end rant>

Same could be said for humans :)
true, but humans can generally make thier wishes known and can refuse treatment. animals can't.

Are you so sure that humans can refuse treatment? If that really were a thing, then the health insurance data would look drastically different than it does. The % of costs paid in the last year of a persons life is really high. Culturally, at least in the US, we're terrified of death and will do anything not to die. Thus ensuring that we have a horrible death in the end.

We were on the periphery watching this, but my husband's family had a pastor who was with their congregation for years and became good friends. They had moved to other ministry pursuits at a different congregation, but kept in touch some. He was diagnosed with a very aggressive and advanced bladder cancer, and his prognosis for treatment and quality-of-life even if treatment was successful was pretty bleak. He turned down treatment (after lots of prayer and consulting with his wife of course). Not sure if he had to state some religious reason, but it sounded pretty much like "Nope, don't wanna" and the doctors said "well, we can't make you, so ok" and they just tried for quality of life while letting the cancer run its course.

It was a pretty sad story all around, until you considered how much he affected other's lives. The church was packed for his memorial service.

AMandM

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20841 on: Today at 03:51:33 PM »
It is a theory of mine that the correlation exists because the people are married and get along only while the money is flowing.  Once the trips down south, the new cars, trailers, and new iPhone purchases stop because the credit cards are maxed and the line of credit is tapped, the people realize that they don't really enjoy their partner, and were only getting along/having fun with him/her while there was money to burn.
Alternatively, weddings often serve as a way to leverage Sunk Cost Fallacy to keep the investment in a relationship high. The more uncertain you are in your relationship, the more magic you try to throw on it.
Or it could be a sign that at least one person in the relationship has unrealistic expectations about marriage. The bride or groom who just has to have their perfect dream day may also be expecting similar dream-like perfection in their married life. And/or they may see the wedding as their ultimate "finish line", and haven't thought much about the rest of their life after that.

Or, a couple whose wedding was very elaborate and expensive goes into married life with deficits of both patience and money.

Kyle Schuant

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Re: Overheard at Work
« Reply #20842 on: Today at 10:03:12 PM »

Are you so sure that humans can refuse treatment? If that really were a thing, then the health insurance data would look drastically different than it does. The % of costs paid in the last year of a persons life is really high. Culturally, at least in the US, we're terrified of death and will do anything not to die. Thus ensuring that we have a horrible death in the end.
The pressure to continue treatment when it's obviously futile is, from what I hear from medical friends, less often from the patient and more often from the family and medical professionals. Likewise pressure for voluntary euthanasia.

In some respects it's easier for us to bear our own suffering than watch a loved one or patient go through suffering. Live or die, we want to see their suffering end.