My fiancé and I have talked long and hard about our options for having children and came to the conclusion that, while we would like to have one of our own, we would much rather adopt and give a child a home that doesn't have one than spend tens of thousands of dollars to bring another person into a world where so many already exist that need help. It is from that perspective that I am judging the SHIT out of them for spending so much on IVF rather than to consider giving a child without a family a loving home, because my SO and I have had this conversation and I feel that her strong Christian upbringing has very much to do with her want to help children in need through foster care and adoption, whether or not she is able to have kids of her own. We have already decided to adopt regardless of our capability to conceive. It makes me wonder how much aforementioned CW actually gives a shit about the world outside of his immediate bubble to the extent that he would spend nearly $50,000 just to have a child that is genetically tied to him.
I'm not going to judge, because adoption comes with its own set of issues.
Nothing is guaranteed. You can have a bio child with disabilities and issues, etc.
But I have friends who have adopted from foster care. And, these kids often have issues. From fetal alcohol syndrome to other drug addictions in utero to...? It honestly takes a very special kind of person to be able to deal with that. And I've also spent some time looking up adoption agencies and kids that are available. The vast majority that I found were:
- multiple kids in one family
- had developmental delays
- had anger issues such that the recommendations were "Would do best in a family where he/she is the ONLY child or the youngest by at least 10 years"
Now, I agree that these children need and deserve loving homes and loving parents. But honestly, the vast majority of people are not equipped to handle them. They can be, with training. However, our local agency that does foster-to-adopt REQUIRES two things:
1. You have to agree to adopt if a child is placed with you and is there for more than X amount of time
2. You have to have a stay at home parent.
The families that I know who have successfully done the foster-to-adopt were successful because they already had grown children. They were older, had been through most of it before, and were able to handle early years disruptions that were due to the first few years of life and its craziness.