Author Topic: Overheard at Work 2  (Read 630115 times)

fuzzy math

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #950 on: June 24, 2019, 02:18:18 PM »
You just outdid some Hollywood movies... Short of a mike Tyson cameo.

artemidorus

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #951 on: June 24, 2019, 03:12:12 PM »
You just outdid some Hollywood movies... Short of a mike Tyson cameo.

That praise is kind, although my storytelling skills are clearly lacking because I forgot a key piece of the story.

The reason I didn't have an update from Bill until a year later is because the groom ended up calling off the wedding. All that money was blown on a bachelor party for a wedding that didn't happen.

cloudsail

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #952 on: June 24, 2019, 04:03:52 PM »
Omg, that was just...... Unbelievable.

Maybe I should say unbelievably sad.

And the last bit just made the cherry on top.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #953 on: June 24, 2019, 05:02:19 PM »
I think Bill's fiancée got a lucky escape.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #954 on: June 25, 2019, 08:38:45 AM »
I was in a wedding party and felt bummed I had to skip out on the bachelor party, because we had a big deadline that very weekend. I mentioned to a supervisor that I was thinking of just flying out for a day and catching a redeye back, but decided not to.

This reminded me of a non-work antimustachian story...............

Sir, you are a hero to have shared that story. I sent it to both my friend and my wife, and will likely be sharing with others.

martyconlonontherun

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #955 on: June 25, 2019, 08:39:34 AM »
I think Bill's fiancée got a lucky escape.
Bill wasn't the groom from what I can tell. He was just saying he didn;t see Bill at the wedding because there wasn't one.

kaliyugasurfer

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #956 on: June 25, 2019, 11:35:14 AM »
This is really stupid. It is a joke now, but im not sure it started as one. Anyways it was not what i overheard. It is actually what i was told directly to my face. All my coworkers that are awesome people by the way. Told me that since im  a young 25 yr old with a 6 figure job and no debt that i should buy a tesla.... They said this to me over and over and over. And i laughed telling them how it is so stupid. Now its just a joke they say to me cause they know i will laugh. I have told them however that they must really hate me, if they wish me to spend half of my income on a car when i just spent the last 2 years of my life as a slave to a car loan to my 2016 dodge dart. (which i maintain really well and plan on keeping for at least 6 more years.) Advice like this can ruin someones life, What if i bought the car and there was a Lay off? What if an emergency came up and i needed the money? What if  i got an amazing job offer but was scared to take it due to the expenses it would require to move?

artemidorus

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #957 on: June 25, 2019, 11:42:02 AM »
I think Bill's fiancée got a lucky escape.
Bill wasn't the groom from what I can tell. He was just saying he didn't see Bill at the wedding because there wasn't one.

Correct, Bill was not the groom. Groom was really the only one that made good decisions since everyone was paying for him.

Bill was that one guy in the group that had been single a little too long and was too nice to say "No thank you" to anyone. As they all recapped the night to me, everyone pretty much agreed that this woman had some kind of 6th sense to go straight for him instead of any of the rest of the crew, because he was the only one she could have screwed over like that. The rest of the women were all happy to try to make their $20 at a time getting the friends to pay for the bachelor, but this woman clearly had her game theory down and made thousands that night.

How she could pick him out within just a few minutes is a truly remarkable skill.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #958 on: June 25, 2019, 12:14:10 PM »
OK, so the groom was fine and the bride was fine and they got married? And Bill learned a really major lesson?

dcheesi

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #959 on: June 25, 2019, 12:23:30 PM »
OK, so the groom was fine and the bride was fine and they got married? And Bill learned a really major lesson?

Not quite:
You just outdid some Hollywood movies... Short of a mike Tyson cameo.

That praise is kind, although my storytelling skills are clearly lacking because I forgot a key piece of the story.

The reason I didn't have an update from Bill until a year later is because the groom ended up calling off the wedding. All that money was blown on a bachelor party for a wedding that didn't happen.
(emphasis mine)

RetiredAt63

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #960 on: June 25, 2019, 05:22:46 PM »
OK, so the groom was fine and the bride was fine and they got married? And Bill learned a really major lesson?

Not quite:
You just outdid some Hollywood movies... Short of a mike Tyson cameo.

That praise is kind, although my storytelling skills are clearly lacking because I forgot a key piece of the story.

The reason I didn't have an update from Bill until a year later is because the groom ended up calling off the wedding. All that money was blown on a bachelor party for a wedding that didn't happen.
(emphasis mine)

Obviously I need more tea (caffeine) before I read the forums.

cloudsail

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #961 on: June 25, 2019, 06:03:12 PM »
Just out of curiosity, what does one do when one goes off alone with a stripper for half an hour that costs thousands of dollars?

My only experience with strip clubs is what I saw in Grand Theft Auto.

dragoncar

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #962 on: June 25, 2019, 07:06:41 PM »
Just out of curiosity, what does one do when one goes off alone with a stripper for half an hour that costs thousands of dollars?

My only experience with strip clubs is what I saw in Grand Theft Auto.

Hot coffee

Izybat

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #963 on: June 25, 2019, 07:21:51 PM »
There is one guy I work with that appears to be a font of bad financial decisions. He and his wife own a boat that they've decided they don't use enough. Their reasoning is that the boat is parked at the marina, which is clearly the problem. His solution to this is to sell the boat in order to buy a BIGGER boat, and to install a dock at their house (they live on the water).

...I think he's missing the point.

dcheesi

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #964 on: June 26, 2019, 10:28:10 AM »
There is one guy I work with that appears to be a font of bad financial decisions. He and his wife own a boat that they've decided they don't use enough. Their reasoning is that the boat is parked at the marina, which is clearly the problem. His solution to this is to sell the boat in order to buy a BIGGER boat, and to install a dock at their house (they live on the water).

...I think he's missing the point.
The home dock won't accommodate their current, smaller boat? (Or is that just inserting logic into a perfectly good excuse? ;)

coldestcat

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #965 on: June 26, 2019, 11:35:56 AM »
Just out of curiosity, what does one do when one goes off alone with a stripper for half an hour that costs thousands of dollars?

My only experience with strip clubs is what I saw in Grand Theft Auto.

Hot coffee

HAhahaha that should explain it if the Chris Rock lyrics didnt.

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #966 on: June 26, 2019, 11:51:13 AM »
Just out of curiosity, what does one do when one goes off alone with a stripper for half an hour that costs thousands of dollars?

My only experience with strip clubs is what I saw in Grand Theft Auto.

Discuss politics of course... I attended a strip club bachelor party once. The woman I talked to seemed just to know what to say to cozy up to a guy. You want a girl working her way through college working in a strip club? That was her story. I suspect if you wanted an ex-astronaut ex-Marine Corp materials scientist former OSHA inspector from Wales looking for a career change so she took up working in stripper clubs - I suspect she would be that woman too. She would just tell you whatever she thought you wanted to hear. Mirrored the client's small talk.

Definitely not my scene.

AMandM

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #967 on: June 26, 2019, 01:03:38 PM »
The woman I talked to seemed just to know what to say to cozy up to a guy. You want a girl working her way through college working in a strip club? That was her story.

When I was in university the student newspaper regularly ran ads recruiting for escort services, claiming strong demand for intelligent, educated companions.

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #968 on: June 27, 2019, 09:32:35 AM »
This may only make sense to feds, but a fellow fed told me over the weekend that his TSP is all in G fund because the stock market is too much like gambling.  I don't know if he got bitten in 2008 or if he actually believes that the market is gambling and therefore doesn't do it (he's a preacher on the side).  I bit my tongue, but yikes.  I mean, G fund is a guaranteed return, but only at like 2.4% a year.  I didn't ask, and he didn't volunteer, but I suspect that he's not contributing beyond the 5% to get the match.

I keep trying to explain to my retiring co-worker that no he does not need to move all of his TSP money into the G-Fund, a 60/40% split is fine. 

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #969 on: June 27, 2019, 11:22:09 AM »
When I was in university the student newspaper regularly ran ads recruiting for escort services, claiming strong demand for intelligent, educated companions.

I remember talking to a guy I knew in college and he came from a really small town that opened a strip club on the edge of town. He went with some guys he knew. He said the weirdest thing was seeing some of the girls he went to school with since kindergarten school working the stage. Sort of felt like watching cousins perform. Wasn't his scene either it turned out. Not so sexy after all.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2019, 11:25:23 AM by Just Joe »

letsdoit

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #970 on: June 27, 2019, 11:26:47 AM »
There is one guy I work with that appears to be a font of bad financial decisions. He and his wife own a boat that they've decided they don't use enough. Their reasoning is that the boat is parked at the marina, which is clearly the problem. His solution to this is to sell the boat in order to buy a BIGGER boat, and to install a dock at their house (they live on the water).

...I think he's missing the point.
The home dock won't accommodate their current, smaller boat? (Or is that just inserting logic into a perfectly good excuse? ;)

is it sunk cost fallacy or just a huge fallacy of its own?

jinga nation

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #971 on: June 27, 2019, 12:07:12 PM »
When I was in university the student newspaper regularly ran ads recruiting for escort services, claiming strong demand for intelligent, educated companions.

I remember talking to a guy I knew in college and he came from a really small town that opened a strip club on the edge of town. He went with some guys he knew. He said the weirdest thing was seeing some of the girls he went to school with since kindergarten school working the stage. Sort of felt like watching cousins perform. Wasn't his scene either it turned out. Not so sexy after all.

Small-town secrets:

Guy1: Hey Bud, saw your wife the other night.
Guy2: Yeah she mentioned, she was working late. Thanks for giving her your business.
Guy1: No problem. Anytime. Happy to help out. (Wink)

lv2glrfy

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #972 on: June 27, 2019, 03:29:54 PM »
Okay, this was a bit ago, but this one coworker. You guys.

I’m a little bitter because in addition to being clearly bad with money, she was a prickly and “mean girl” sort of personality, but....my gosh, the things she’d say and do. I knew what her salary had to be (barely or less than 30k) because we were in the exact same position and she was hired over a year after me....Most notable fail was when she unfortunately hit a deer driving at night and totaled her previous car, then turned around and bought a brand new Ford Taurus with all the bells and whistles, financing the whole dang thing. She was also a huge partyer and would talk about her wild nights out while complaining often that she couldn’t go to lunch at McDonald’s because “I need to wait until payday! Can’t go out any more!” Yeesh

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #973 on: June 27, 2019, 08:27:44 PM »
This may only make sense to feds, but a fellow fed told me over the weekend that his TSP is all in G fund because the stock market is too much like gambling.  I don't know if he got bitten in 2008 or if he actually believes that the market is gambling and therefore doesn't do it (he's a preacher on the side).  I bit my tongue, but yikes.  I mean, G fund is a guaranteed return, but only at like 2.4% a year.  I didn't ask, and he didn't volunteer, but I suspect that he's not contributing beyond the 5% to get the match.

I keep trying to explain to my retiring co-worker that no he does not need to move all of his TSP money into the G-Fund, a 60/40% split is fine.

A co-worker of mine is so afraid of the stock market he's 100% G-fund. This is an 11-step-7 with 20 years of service and about $110,000!

My wife is big on the G-fund, but, as she put it, between the 2 of us, we're balanced, because I have nearly no aversion to risk, so I'm all growth/growth&income in my TSP, Roth, and 403(b).

merula

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #974 on: June 28, 2019, 10:17:15 AM »
I'm currently listening to a couple of coworkers complaining about how their relatively newly-built condos have thermostats that don't let them adjust the AC temp below 72.

This is in Minnesota. Our temps haven't even gotten hot yet this year. (Max so far is 85, I think?) My husband is a native here and doesn't deal well with heat, but we still haven't installed our A/C window unit for the summer because strategic opening/closing windows has kept our house at 78 or lower.

The concept of cooling your house to 72 is just bonkers to me.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #975 on: June 28, 2019, 11:37:21 AM »


The concept of cooling your house to 72 is just bonkers to me.

Good on you. I need it cool in the summer or I'm extremely uncomfortable.

In the winter we keep it cool at 60, except at night I'll turn it up to 64 so everyone can sleep more comfortably. If someone is sick, I might do 66 all day.

Kris

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #976 on: June 28, 2019, 01:57:49 PM »
I'm currently listening to a couple of coworkers complaining about how their relatively newly-built condos have thermostats that don't let them adjust the AC temp below 72.

This is in Minnesota. Our temps haven't even gotten hot yet this year. (Max so far is 85, I think?) My husband is a native here and doesn't deal well with heat, but we still haven't installed our A/C window unit for the summer because strategic opening/closing windows has kept our house at 78 or lower.

The concept of cooling your house to 72 is just bonkers to me.

Yeah, that is nuts. We're starting our first so-called heat wave in MN, and so we installed our AC units in anticipation... but we haven't turn them on yet. It's supposed to get to 90 tomorrow and 92 Sunday, but overnight temps are gonna get back down to low 70s, so it's 50/50 whether we'll turn on the bedroom unit to have it cool while we sleep. (It's only 83 right now, so I'm sitting comfortably in my living room with the windows open, watching the US/France women's soccer match. Haven't even bothered to turn on the ceiling fan yet.)

Sibley

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #977 on: June 28, 2019, 02:24:50 PM »
Are these the people who put the AC to arctic temps and wear 2 sweaters, then set the heat to 82 and wear tank tops?

lv2glrfy

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #978 on: June 28, 2019, 03:05:59 PM »
The concept of cooling your house to 72 is just bonkers to me.

Couldn’t agree more. We keep our house at a comfy 77 in summertime Atlanta (it’s 95+ here with 80% humidity)— told our coworkers this the other day and they gasped in horror!

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #979 on: June 28, 2019, 03:09:08 PM »
We set the a/c cool enough to make it run enough to keep the interior humidity in check. At this time of year, that's 77/78 degrees.

HonestBanker

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #980 on: June 28, 2019, 03:30:18 PM »
That Vegas story deserved it's own thread

FireHiker

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #981 on: June 28, 2019, 05:26:19 PM »
Eh, I cool my house to 72. I have solar and I prefer to be cold. I make up for it by not turning on the heat until it gets down to 58.

mm1970

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #982 on: June 28, 2019, 05:30:21 PM »
Eh, I cool my house to 72. I have solar and I prefer to be cold. I make up for it by not turning on the heat until it gets down to 58.
Sometimes, at night, I um, get really hot.  So I turn down the AC to around 73-74.  I'm not even having official hot flashes yet.

Fi(re) on the Farm

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #983 on: June 28, 2019, 06:02:37 PM »
I'm New Englandish and it's 85 degrees out and we have fans going. We do have two window ACs but we'd don't put them in unless it's going to be higher than 70 at night. I've got a disabled kid and the air is basically for her. In the winter the heat doesn't go above 68 and at night it drops down to 58. I've got a co-worker that keeps her house at 75 year round even at night!

OtherJen

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #984 on: June 28, 2019, 07:06:05 PM »
We set the a/c cool enough to make it run enough to keep the interior humidity in check. At this time of year, that's 77/78 degrees.

This. I'm fine with heat if the air is fairly dry, but when it's humid and hotter than 80ºF inside the house, it's really hard to concentrate on work (I work remotely from a home office). Our window AC units are set at 77ºF. Yesterday was the first day that we turned them on this year.

Kitsune

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #985 on: June 28, 2019, 07:14:49 PM »
I'm New Englandish and it's 85 degrees out and we have fans going. We do have two window ACs but we'd don't put them in unless it's going to be higher than 70 at night. I've got a disabled kid and the air is basically for her. In the winter the heat doesn't go above 68 and at night it drops down to 58. I've got a co-worker that keeps her house at 75 year round even at night!

We're in Quebec and those are exactly what we set the thermostat at. :)

I deal better with heat than cold, personally, and we live near a lake so that cools down the house at night - temps drop to about 60ish at night Ben when it's 85 during the day.

In winter, I get cold easily... but no one else does, so I got an electric throw blanket and now I can stay warm while reading without hearing the whole house, so tha works.

LennStar

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #986 on: June 29, 2019, 06:28:18 AM »
I remember talking to a guy I knew in college and he came from a really small town that opened a strip club on the edge of town. He went with some guys he knew. He said the weirdest thing was seeing some of the girls he went to school with since kindergarten school working the stage. Sort of felt like watching cousins perform. Wasn't his scene either it turned out. Not so sexy after all.

LOL Reminded me of that anime where one guy says: "I was anticipating that eroge (erotic game) so much! But than my sister got the voice actor role and I just can't enjoy it anymore."


Quote
I'm currently listening to a couple of coworkers complaining about how their relatively newly-built condos have thermostats that don't let them adjust the AC temp below 72.

The concept of cooling your house to 72 is just bonkers to me.

I could understand if it is the sleeping room - I prefer ~66F there. (And I would be really happy when it tomorrow gets to 38C outside (100F) I could have an AC.)

But in any other room? Why should you go lower than what you can comfortably sit in?


Raenia

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #987 on: June 30, 2019, 05:42:58 AM »
Ah, thermostats.  We get so many complaints at work, because the air system isn't zoned properly, and the air handlers can't handle the load, so parts of the building are freezing while other people are sweating - sometimes just across the hall!  My office is so cold I keep a sweater at work in the summer, as it's frequently in the 60's inside.  At home, we finally turned on the air last week when it was 90+ for several days in a row with high humidity.  Set the thermostat to 80 - just enough for the system to run periodically and keep the humidity down.

TVRodriguez

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #988 on: July 01, 2019, 11:20:08 AM »
Eh, I cool my house to 72. I have solar and I prefer to be cold. I make up for it by not turning on the heat until it gets down to 58.
Sometimes, at night, I um, get really hot.  So I turn down the AC to around 73-74.  I'm not even having official hot flashes yet.

Me, too!

Just Joe

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #989 on: July 01, 2019, 09:35:42 PM »
Bumped our thermostat up another degree today. Getting used to summer I guess. Now sitting at 78F.  As long as if keeps the humidity in check.

nouveauRiche

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #990 on: July 07, 2019, 12:05:27 PM »
Just to keep going:

I completely forgot about this one as it was years ago.  I had a friend & coworker who leased brand new cars every three years.  We were paid monthly and coworker had to wait until payday to go grocery shopping.

Meanwhile, I was driving a reliable paid-off car I had bought used as a student (and I which I wound up keeping a total of 11 years).  Coworker was not interested in talking about doing anything other than leasing new cars.  Did not complain about money but clearly had no cushion at all.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #991 on: July 07, 2019, 12:10:12 PM »
Just to keep going:

I completely forgot about this one as it was years ago.  I had a friend & coworker who leased brand new cars every three years.  We were paid monthly and coworker had to wait until payday to go grocery shopping.

Meanwhile, I was driving a reliable paid-off car I had bought used as a student (and I which I wound up keeping a total of 11 years).  Coworker was not interested in talking about doing anything other than leasing new cars.  Did not complain about money but clearly had no cushion at all.

One of my young coworkers currently doesn't own a car, but he enjoys looking at possible cars. Another young coworker said that we might be interested into leasing a car. Currently he is driving an old beater car that he repairs himself. We other three people tried to concince him that leasing is really the dumbest financial choice for a car. I hope he listens to us.

Piglet

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #992 on: July 07, 2019, 03:40:01 PM »
About 7 years ago, I met a lady through work friends who was going through a horrific divorce. Backstory, she was married to her highschool sweetheart for 25+ years and had 5 kids. While I don't think they were crazy spenders, based on several conversations, it was clear they had no financial cushion despite decades of hard work. He was a building contractor specializing in gutting and redoing houses and she worked as a school administrator at the county level. Their kids were married with kids of their own at that point. Shortly after I met her, she filed for divorce after coming home one day and finding her husband at home with a prostitute! Devastated, she moved out of the house into a small 2 bedroom apartment (she needed the second bedroom "for her stuff" - which she piled up to the ceiling in the second bedroom).. She was so financially strapped she had to ask her church for first month's rent and deposit.  Husband begged her to come back, but she had had enough. While married, they could scrape by, but once she moved out, their finances imploded. He fell behind on the mortgage and they lost the home to forclosure. Because they had never had any kind of cushion, she was left with nothing after the divorce.

As time passed, I would see her now and again and thought she was recovering well. She still worked for the county school system (had been with them for close to 15 years at that point, and I knew her apartment wasn't very expensive and she didn't have to come up with a chunk of $$$ to move in since her church had helped her out). Every time I ran into her, she always had a large Starbucks coffee in her hand and would pull up into whatever restaurant parking lot we were meeting at in her Lincoln Navigator.

Imagine my surprise when during one of these lunches she tearfully mentioned that she had just left the garage where she got her vehicle serviced and had insisted the mechanic rotate her rear tires to the front as the front tires had no tread left on them and she didn't have any money to get new tires. As it was winter and we lived in an area that got a fair amount of snow and ice, rotating the back tires to the front was "all she could do at the moment" given her finances.

I very very gently (given everything that she had been through at that point) asked her a few leading questions. 1) any chance your one of your adult kids could help you out? ("No, I don't want to be a burden". 2) can your church help out again? ("No, they said there are others in need, and they already helped with the apartment." 3) maybe a smaller apartment? ("No, I barely have room for all of my stuff as it is.") 4) a part-time job? ("Haven't I worked long and hard enough as it is? I shouldn't have to get a second job!" 5) any way you can sell the Lincoln Navigator and buy a smaller, more efficient car, like a 7 year old Honda Civic or Tercel (like I was driving at the time) where replacing 4 tires would cost the same as replacing 1 tire on the Lincoln Navigator? After all, if you can no longer afford to maintain the vehicle you have and it's no longer safe to drive, maybe you should downsize?

You would have thought I had suggested she harvest her grandkids for organs! She immediately turned and vehemently stated that she had always driven a large vehicle and was never going to be forced into a small car.

I immediately disengaged from the conversation and made a mental note not to park anywhere near her until she got new tires.

Fast forward, a few months after that conversation, she had to move into a smaller 1 bedroom apartment (not sure what she did with her stuff). And then within 2 years, quit her job with the county (I understand she quit before she had 20 years in, so received a significantly smaller pension and then moved in with one of her sons in another state). Apparently she could not make ends meet on just her county salary (while driving her giant SUV, meeting friends at restaurants for lunch, and buying Starbucks everyday) for another 2 years to get to her 20 years with the county. Any suggestions that she actually COULD make it if she cut back on her expenses was met with fierce resistance and even open hostility.

Don't get me wrong, I totally sympathize with the crap sandwich her ex husband dealt her, but couldn't help but feel sorry and frustrated for and with her that she just would not change any of her spending behavior even though it meant a smaller pension and loss of independence. She now relies on the good graces of her son and daughter-in-law with whom she lives rent free. Hopefully their goodwill never runs out...






Linea_Norway

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #993 on: July 08, 2019, 01:03:16 AM »
<...>
Don't get me wrong, I totally sympathize with the crap sandwich her ex husband dealt her, but couldn't help but feel sorry and frustrated for and with her that she just would not change any of her spending behavior even though it meant a smaller pension and loss of independence. She now relies on the good graces of her son and daughter-in-law with whom she lives rent free. Hopefully their goodwill never runs out...

Some people continuously live above their means and that is not sustainable. Smart people realise their financial shortcomings in time and cut back on their expenses. It is sad that not everyone has that skill. Now she has become the burden to her son that she didn't want to be.

Imma

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #994 on: July 08, 2019, 03:29:26 AM »
<...>
Don't get me wrong, I totally sympathize with the crap sandwich her ex husband dealt her, but couldn't help but feel sorry and frustrated for and with her that she just would not change any of her spending behavior even though it meant a smaller pension and loss of independence. She now relies on the good graces of her son and daughter-in-law with whom she lives rent free. Hopefully their goodwill never runs out...

Some people continuously live above their means and that is not sustainable. Smart people realise their financial shortcomings in time and cut back on their expenses. It is sad that not everyone has that skill. Now she has become the burden to her son that she didn't want to be.

I saw it happen with one of my own parents. It's really difficult to watch a slow motion car crash when you know it's still possible for them to avoid the crash, and then they don't. I know divorce is difficult and changing your lifestyle is difficult but sometimes you just have to adapt to the circumstances. Seems not everyone is able and willing to do that.

talltexan

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #995 on: July 08, 2019, 07:04:28 AM »
Just out of curiosity, what does one do when one goes off alone with a stripper for half an hour that costs thousands of dollars?

My only experience with strip clubs is what I saw in Grand Theft Auto.

https://entertainment.theonion.com/bill-maher-spends-all-night-arguing-with-republican-hoo-1819567438

Davnasty

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #996 on: July 08, 2019, 08:02:54 AM »
Imagine my surprise when during one of these lunches she tearfully mentioned that she had just left the garage where she got her vehicle serviced and had insisted the mechanic rotate her rear tires to the front as the front tires had no tread left on them and she didn't have any money to get new tires. As it was winter and we lived in an area that got a fair amount of snow and ice, rotating the back tires to the front was "all she could do at the moment" given her finances.

I very very gently (given everything that she had been through at that point) asked her a few leading questions. 1) any chance your one of your adult kids could help you out? ("No, I don't want to be a burden". 2) can your church help out again? ("No, they said there are others in need, and they already helped with the apartment." 3) maybe a smaller apartment? ("No, I barely have room for all of my stuff as it is.") 4) a part-time job? ("Haven't I worked long and hard enough as it is? I shouldn't have to get a second job!" 5) any way you can sell the Lincoln Navigator and buy a smaller, more efficient car, like a 7 year old Honda Civic or Tercel (like I was driving at the time) where replacing 4 tires would cost the same as replacing 1 tire on the Lincoln Navigator? After all, if you can no longer afford to maintain the vehicle you have and it's no longer safe to drive, maybe you should downsize?

You would have thought I had suggested she harvest her grandkids for organs! She immediately turned and vehemently stated that she had always driven a large vehicle and was never going to be forced into a small car.

Bad enough she can't see the stupidity of this for her own sake, but driving a 6,000lb SUV with bald tires is endangering everyone on the road. People like this need some sense smacked into them. Note that I didn't say she "deserves" to be smacked, because what she deserves is completely irrelevant. If people could internalize this idea, I think it would completely change their outlook.

Cassie

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #997 on: July 08, 2019, 08:57:55 AM »
I never understood why people can’t look at their income versus expenses and realize they need to cut back. 

Enigma

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #998 on: July 08, 2019, 09:44:34 AM »
As devastated as she was, she never should have gotten a divorce.  Everyone is going to make mistakes.

prudent_one

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Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #999 on: July 08, 2019, 10:05:03 AM »
Imagine my surprise when during one of these lunches she tearfully mentioned that she had just left the garage where she got her vehicle serviced and had insisted the mechanic rotate her rear tires to the front as the front tires had no tread left on them and she didn't have any money to get new tires. As it was winter and we lived in an area that got a fair amount of snow and ice, rotating the back tires to the front was "all she could do at the moment" given her finances.

I very very gently (given everything that she had been through at that point) asked her a few leading questions. 1) any chance your one of your adult kids could help you out? ("No, I don't want to be a burden". 2) can your church help out again? ("No, they said there are others in need, and they already helped with the apartment." 3) maybe a smaller apartment? ("No, I barely have room for all of my stuff as it is.") 4) a part-time job? ("Haven't I worked long and hard enough as it is? I shouldn't have to get a second job!" 5) any way you can sell the Lincoln Navigator and buy a smaller, more efficient car, like a 7 year old Honda Civic or Tercel (like I was driving at the time) where replacing 4 tires would cost the same as replacing 1 tire on the Lincoln Navigator? After all, if you can no longer afford to maintain the vehicle you have and it's no longer safe to drive, maybe you should downsize?

You would have thought I had suggested she harvest her grandkids for organs! She immediately turned and vehemently stated that she had always driven a large vehicle and was never going to be forced into a small car.

Bad enough she can't see the stupidity of this for her own sake, but driving a 6,000lb SUV with bald tires is endangering everyone on the road. People like this need some sense smacked into them. Note that I didn't say she "deserves" to be smacked, because what she deserves is completely irrelevant. If people could internalize this idea, I think it would completely change their outlook.

The people like this I have known (sadly, too many) don't verbalize it but they don't change because they feel they have been punished enough - in this case, the financial problems caused by an unfaithful spouse. As they have done nothing (or at least believe so) to deserve this fate, they have mentally drawn a line in the sand to put an end to the suffering they have to endure. They are emotionally in pain and their coping mechanism is to put an end to the lifestyle impacts of their personal crisis.  It's tough to watch because absent getting some therapy, cutting back even more on spending just makes their emotional suffering greater.   Contemplating additional sacrifice is going to trigger thoughts of "when will this ever end, what he did to me just continues to make me suffer and suffer. It's been X years and it keeps getting worse. i can't take any more."  That allows her to feel like she's at least treading water in a situation she had nothing to do with. Almost a no-win situation... act rationally financially, feel worse emotionally.  It's different than someone who overspends out of desire to be ostentatious or to keep up with the Joneses.