Overheard at Work 2

[Michael in ABQ]

I've got one.  I have a coworker who recently took up a second job.  She's working two jobs, and I'm assuming her husband is working at least one job as well.  The reason?  Two of their daughters got married over the past couple years, and they're paying (or helping to pay) their kids' college costs.

When she was planning one of the weddings, she expressed to me how hard it was to find a venue.  One venue they were considering cost $20k....just for the venue.  The bare room.  Anything else was extra.  Tables, chairs, catering, etc. 

She and her husband are probably 10 years older than me.  I suspect I'll retire long before them, and we're a single-income (albeit a very good single income) family.

We just went to a wedding today - our sole employee was getting married and invited our family. The wedding was in a church and while we didn't go to the reception she had mentioned they got a pretty good deal after their original venue cancelled their contract a month out because someone else was willing to pay more for that same day (pretty shitty move on the part of the venue). I think the new venue was $500 (original place was going to be $1-2k). They're a young couple and she only works part-time for us so I would bet the whole wedding was only several thousand dollars.

My older brother is getting married in a few weeks in the backyard of his house with just family in attendance and their reception is at a local brewery. They told the venue it was just a party with friends (no mention of wedding) because the price would have magically doubled or tripled. He and his fiancée are late 30s early 40s so they've got enough sense not to blow a bunch of money on a wedding. They will probably also spend just a few thousand dollars total.

[JAYSLOL]

I've got one.  I have a coworker who recently took up a second job.  She's working two jobs, and I'm assuming her husband is working at least one job as well.  The reason?  Two of their daughters got married over the past couple years, and they're paying (or helping to pay) their kids' college costs.

When she was planning one of the weddings, she expressed to me how hard it was to find a venue.  One venue they were considering cost $20k....just for the venue.  The bare room.  Anything else was extra.  Tables, chairs, catering, etc. 

She and her husband are probably 10 years older than me.  I suspect I'll retire long before them, and we're a single-income (albeit a very good single income) family.

We just went to a wedding today - our sole employee was getting married and invited our family. The wedding was in a church and while we didn't go to the reception she had mentioned they got a pretty good deal after their original venue cancelled their contract a month out because someone else was willing to pay more for that same day (pretty shitty move on the part of the venue). I think the new venue was $500 (original place was going to be $1-2k). They're a young couple and she only works part-time for us so I would bet the whole wedding was only several thousand dollars.

My older brother is getting married in a few weeks in the backyard of his house with just family in attendance and their reception is at a local brewery. They told the venue it was just a party with friends (no mention of wedding) because the price would have magically doubled or tripled. He and his fiancée are late 30s early 40s so they've got enough sense not to blow a bunch of money on a wedding. They will probably also spend just a few thousand dollars total.

That’s an awesome trick lol, I like reading about financial train wrecks, but it’s cool to hear about people with some common sense and smarts around money too

[ducky19]

20 years ago, DW and I got married at the state park. We spent $20 to reserve a pavilion and got married on a deck on a bluff overlooking the river. Reception was at the sportsman's club, her dad picked up that tab, but it was less than $2k all in.

[mm1970]

I've got one.  I have a coworker who recently took up a second job.  She's working two jobs, and I'm assuming her husband is working at least one job as well.  The reason?  Two of their daughters got married over the past couple years, and they're paying (or helping to pay) their kids' college costs.

When she was planning one of the weddings, she expressed to me how hard it was to find a venue.  One venue they were considering cost $20k....just for the venue.  The bare room.  Anything else was extra.  Tables, chairs, catering, etc. 

She and her husband are probably 10 years older than me.  I suspect I'll retire long before them, and we're a single-income (albeit a very good single income) family.

We just went to a wedding today - our sole employee was getting married and invited our family. The wedding was in a church and while we didn't go to the reception she had mentioned they got a pretty good deal after their original venue cancelled their contract a month out because someone else was willing to pay more for that same day (pretty shitty move on the part of the venue). I think the new venue was $500 (original place was going to be $1-2k). They're a young couple and she only works part-time for us so I would bet the whole wedding was only several thousand dollars.

My older brother is getting married in a few weeks in the backyard of his house with just family in attendance and their reception is at a local brewery. They told the venue it was just a party with friends (no mention of wedding) because the price would have magically doubled or tripled. He and his fiancée are late 30s early 40s so they've got enough sense not to blow a bunch of money on a wedding. They will probably also spend just a few thousand dollars total.

That’s an awesome trick lol, I like reading about financial train wrecks, but it’s cool to hear about people with some common sense and smarts around money too

When one of my old coworkers got married, they rented an outdoor space from a farm.  The soon to be husband was getting quotes for catering - prices were just really high.

The soon to be wife (my coworker), took over.  Called a few, including their preferred one, and mentioned a party for about 70 people and the date.  Quote was for 1/2 of what they'd quoted her fiance for the wedding.

[Michael in ABQ]

Wedding is Latin for "price gouging".

[Fomerly known as something]

I've got one.  I have a coworker who recently took up a second job.  She's working two jobs, and I'm assuming her husband is working at least one job as well.  The reason?  Two of their daughters got married over the past couple years, and they're paying (or helping to pay) their kids' college costs.

When she was planning one of the weddings, she expressed to me how hard it was to find a venue.  One venue they were considering cost $20k....just for the venue.  The bare room.  Anything else was extra.  Tables, chairs, catering, etc. 

She and her husband are probably 10 years older than me.  I suspect I'll retire long before them, and we're a single-income (albeit a very good single income) family.

We just went to a wedding today - our sole employee was getting married and invited our family. The wedding was in a church and while we didn't go to the reception she had mentioned they got a pretty good deal after their original venue cancelled their contract a month out because someone else was willing to pay more for that same day (pretty shitty move on the part of the venue). I think the new venue was $500 (original place was going to be $1-2k). They're a young couple and she only works part-time for us so I would bet the whole wedding was only several thousand dollars.

My older brother is getting married in a few weeks in the backyard of his house with just family in attendance and their reception is at a local brewery. They told the venue it was just a party with friends (no mention of wedding) because the price would have magically doubled or tripled. He and his fiancée are late 30s early 40s so they've got enough sense not to blow a bunch of money on a wedding. They will probably also spend just a few thousand dollars total.

When people talk about expensive venues.  I think of all the weddings that were hosted at my county parks enclosed shelters (think wood lodge style looking places with nice looking picnic tables.). Still available to rent for less than $1000 for the day.

[Sandi_k]

When people talk about expensive venues.  I think of all the weddings that were hosted at my county parks enclosed shelters (think wood lodge style looking places with nice looking picnic tables.). Still available to rent for less than $1000 for the day.

Nope. We paid for an indoor wedding. Reasons:

- Elderly relatives. Walking on uneven ground with occasional gopher holes? Nope.

- Soggy ground. One relative did get married in a park. The ground was so wet she lost a shoe walking down the "aisle."

- Another relative got married outdoors, and no one could hear the ceremony; it was in a traffic pattern for the local airport.

- My sister got married outside, and it had rained all week, and then was freezing the day of the ceremony. Everyone left instead of staying for the reception.

- My cousin got married outside, and it was 90 degrees. We got stinky and sunburned, and then were asked to help break down the folding chairs after the ceremony.

There are perfectly rational reasons to not go for a park wedding. That doesn't mean you need to spend $40k on a wedding.

[Louise]

20 years ago, DW and I got married at the state park. We spent $20 to reserve a pavilion and got married on a deck on a bluff overlooking the river. Reception was at the sportsman's club, her dad picked up that tab, but it was less than $2k all in.

I went to a park wedding a couple years ago. The couple had a private ceremony, so it was just the reception. It was really nice. They had coolers of beer and barbecue. I can't imagine it cost that much. I think the park reservation was free.

[charis]

When people talk about expensive venues.  I think of all the weddings that were hosted at my county parks enclosed shelters (think wood lodge style looking places with nice looking picnic tables.). Still available to rent for less than $1000 for the day.

Nope. We paid for an indoor wedding. Reasons:

- Elderly relatives. Walking on uneven ground with occasional gopher holes? Nope.

- Soggy ground. One relative did get married in a park. The ground was so wet she lost a shoe walking down the "aisle."

- Another relative got married outdoors, and no one could hear the ceremony; it was in a traffic pattern for the local airport.

- My sister got married outside, and it had rained all week, and then was freezing the day of the ceremony. Everyone left instead of staying for the reception.

- My cousin got married outside, and it was 90 degrees. We got stinky and sunburned, and then were asked to help break down the folding chairs after the ceremony.

There are perfectly rational reasons to not go for a park wedding. That doesn't mean you need to spend $40k on a wedding.

There are all valid reasons.  But all of parks in my area have very nice lodges for very reasonable rates that are indoor facilities (as in electricity, heat, plumbing, bathroom, kitchens) that have paved parking lots and walkways.  It's not formal or fancy by any means (I attended one featured sledding at the catered reception), but certainly comfortable and very affordable.

We did attend a beautiful wedding at a campground where the reception was at stone building with several large double doors along all the walls so that when they were all open, it felt like an outdoor reception but could be closed during inclement weather.  Genius.

[Fomerly known as something]

When people talk about expensive venues.  I think of all the weddings that were hosted at my county parks enclosed shelters (think wood lodge style looking places with nice looking picnic tables.). Still available to rent for less than $1000 for the day.

Nope. We paid for an indoor wedding. Reasons:

- Elderly relatives. Walking on uneven ground with occasional gopher holes? Nope.

- Soggy ground. One relative did get married in a park. The ground was so wet she lost a shoe walking down the "aisle."

- Another relative got married outdoors, and no one could hear the ceremony; it was in a traffic pattern for the local airport.

- My sister got married outside, and it had rained all week, and then was freezing the day of the ceremony. Everyone left instead of staying for the reception.

- My cousin got married outside, and it was 90 degrees. We got stinky and sunburned, and then were asked to help break down the folding chairs after the ceremony.

There are perfectly rational reasons to not go for a park wedding. That doesn't mean you need to spend $40k on a wedding.

My park’s enclosed shelter had all those things.  I’m not sure why you assumed it was outside.  Like I said the expensive shelter was a little log lodge with a kitchen and bathrooms etc.  It wasn’t an outdoor venue.

[Sandi_k]

When people talk about expensive venues.  I think of all the weddings that were hosted at my county parks enclosed shelters (think wood lodge style looking places with nice looking picnic tables.). Still available to rent for less than $1000 for the day.

Nope. We paid for an indoor wedding. Reasons:

- Elderly relatives. Walking on uneven ground with occasional gopher holes? Nope.

- Soggy ground. One relative did get married in a park. The ground was so wet she lost a shoe walking down the "aisle."

- Another relative got married outdoors, and no one could hear the ceremony; it was in a traffic pattern for the local airport.

- My sister got married outside, and it had rained all week, and then was freezing the day of the ceremony. Everyone left instead of staying for the reception.

- My cousin got married outside, and it was 90 degrees. We got stinky and sunburned, and then were asked to help break down the folding chairs after the ceremony.

There are perfectly rational reasons to not go for a park wedding. That doesn't mean you need to spend $40k on a wedding.

My park’s enclosed shelter had all those things.  I’m not sure why you assumed it was outside.  Like I said the expensive shelter was a little log lodge with a kitchen and bathrooms etc.  It wasn’t an outdoor venue.

I didn't assume you were outside. I said that *we* didn't do a park wedding, because the parks we had access to (as evidenced by the examples above) did not meet the criteria for guest comfort, or our comfort.

Are there parks that meet them? Sure. But it doesn't make it an expensive wedding if you choose to get married inside.

We got married on a weekday, and paid $800 for the venue for 8 hours, and that included chairs, tables, and no weather or soggy lawn issues.

[charis]

You did assume outdoor because the poster said "park," and you said "Nope" and listed six reasons why outdoor weddings aren't ideal.  That's fine, but at least be forthright in your communications.

[Freedomin5]

My colleagues have been sharing vacation stories. One coworker often complains about living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to save anything for retirement. (We are expats and can’t contribute to social security in the US/Canada, and our company gives us cash in lieu of a pension contribution.) They are a family of four. For their vacation, they flew to the US (~USD$10k), took a fancy expensive cruise (~USD$6500), went to Mexico where they “drank way too much” ($5000), and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000). My estimates are low as I’m using current non-peak season prices. So they managed to spend at a minimum, $25k in two months. And very likely they spent more than that because they like upgrades and luxuries and “once in a lifetime experiences”, and I haven’t factored in living expenses when they were in the US.

Their justification was that it’s not fair that their extended family got to go on these trips while they were stuck in China, so they deserved it. I’m guessing this may be why they never seem to have enough money.

But then again, I spent more than they did this summer, since we bought a house, so I suppose pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black.

[maisymouser]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

[Freedomin5]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

[Adventine]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

[Freedomin5]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

Bingo. They explained it was medically necessary to prevent getting wrinkles on their forehead. Without the surgery, they’d have to use the muscles in their forehead to open their eyes and make them look nice and round. I guess this helps with forehead muscle strain?

[JAYSLOL]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

Bingo. They explained it was medically necessary to prevent getting wrinkles on their forehead. Without the surgery, they’d have to use the muscles in their forehead to open their eyes and make them look nice and round. I guess this helps with forehead muscle strain?

Now it’s effortless for them to look surprised that they don’t have any money

[Dicey]

You did assume outdoor because the poster said "park," and you said "Nope" and listed six reasons why outdoor weddings aren't ideal.  That's fine, but at least be forthright in your communications.

Hey, I'm just catching up on this thread. I read that as "Nope, that wouldn't have worked for us." In my experience, @Sandi_k is not a game player. Accusing her of not being forthright kinda feels like a Rule #1 violation.

Also, I live in the same general region as she does. I was drooling over the descriptions of the facilities that were described by some on this thread. They don't really exist in our neck of the woods. Hang on a sec, I just thought of one. Let me check...rates are from $1122 (M-W-Th) to $5568 on a Sunday, just for the room. They charge $150 to use an outside caterer (only an option on M-W-Th). On F-S-S, you MUST use an approved caterer, which IME, is always expen$ive, plus $500 or $1000 cleaning deposit, depending on the time of the event. If your event runs late, that's another $500/hour. They also make you have $1M-2M of Liability Insurance. Oh, and no hard liquor may be served. The waiting list can be years long.

It's a public freaking park.

We eloped and not a day goes by that we aren't thrilled we chose that path.

[jeninco]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

Bingo. They explained it was medically necessary to prevent getting wrinkles on their forehead. Without the surgery, they’d have to use the muscles in their forehead to open their eyes and make them look nice and round. I guess this helps with forehead muscle strain?

To be vaguely fair, I know of two older women who had to have eyelid surgery BEFORE they could have medically-necessary cataract surgery.  Their eyelid muscles ... I don't know how to say this, "relaxed"? "stretched"? so that their eyelids were always at half-mast (or more closed) and it apparently puts pressure on some part of your eyeball. (Oh, just thought of a third: my literally-zen-buddhist aunt had the same eyelid surgery, because she was getting back and neck problems from having to tip her head back to see stuff.)

Signed, someone who will also be on that path, so I keep a (mentally-separated) savings bucket for this item. Sigh.

[Adventine]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

Bingo. They explained it was medically necessary to prevent getting wrinkles on their forehead. Without the surgery, they’d have to use the muscles in their forehead to open their eyes and make them look nice and round. I guess this helps with forehead muscle strain?

To be vaguely fair, I know of two older women who had to have eyelid surgery BEFORE they could have medically-necessary cataract surgery.  Their eyelid muscles ... I don't know how to say this, "relaxed"? "stretched"? so that their eyelids were always at half-mast (or more closed) and it apparently puts pressure on some part of your eyeball. (Oh, just thought of a third: my literally-zen-buddhist aunt had the same eyelid surgery, because she was getting back and neck problems from having to tip her head back to see stuff.)

Signed, someone who will also be on that path, so I keep a (mentally-separated) savings bucket for this item. Sigh.

I totally support someone who needs eyelid surgery so that they can see. Salman Rushdie had to get it done to save his eyesight. But it seems like @Freedomin5 's coworkers did it primarily to avoid wrinkles.

[Wintergreen78]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

Bingo. They explained it was medically necessary to prevent getting wrinkles on their forehead. Without the surgery, they’d have to use the muscles in their forehead to open their eyes and make them look nice and round. I guess this helps with forehead muscle strain?

To be vaguely fair, I know of two older women who had to have eyelid surgery BEFORE they could have medically-necessary cataract surgery.  Their eyelid muscles ... I don't know how to say this, "relaxed"? "stretched"? so that their eyelids were always at half-mast (or more closed) and it apparently puts pressure on some part of your eyeball. (Oh, just thought of a third: my literally-zen-buddhist aunt had the same eyelid surgery, because she was getting back and neck problems from having to tip her head back to see stuff.)

Signed, someone who will also be on that path, so I keep a (mentally-separated) savings bucket for this item. Sigh.

I totally support someone who needs eyelid surgery so that they can see. Salman Rushdie had to get it done to save his eyesight. But it seems like @Freedomin5 's coworkers did it primarily to avoid wrinkles.

My mom also had this procedure, which was recommended by her doctor. After it was done she realized she had been tilting her head back to compensate for her eyelids not opening completely. In her case it wasn’t considered cosmetic and was covered by insurance.

[Dee_the_third]

The eyelid thing is actually super common among Asians. For whatever reason, East Asians tend to have no fold in the upper eyelid, thus causing the “monolid”, i.e. no visible eyelid crease above the eye. This is a source of consternation for some reason and cosmetic surgery to create a double eyelid is common. IDK how common but I would say it’s on par with the boob job in Western circles.

[LennStar]

More often, at least for Japanese young people (and keep in mind that boob job is relativly rare in "Western circles" that aren't the US).
There are literally ads aimed at teenagers in trains in Japan for cosmetic eyelid surgery. Gross, if you ask me. 

[TheGrimSqueaker]

My colleagues have been sharing vacation stories. One coworker often complains about living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to save anything for retirement. (We are expats and can’t contribute to social security in the US/Canada, and our company gives us cash in lieu of a pension contribution.) They are a family of four. For their vacation, they flew to the US (~USD$10k), took a fancy expensive cruise (~USD$6500), went to Mexico where they “drank way too much” ($5000), and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000). My estimates are low as I’m using current non-peak season prices. So they managed to spend at a minimum, $25k in two months. And very likely they spent more than that because they like upgrades and luxuries and “once in a lifetime experiences”, and I haven’t factored in living expenses when they were in the US.

Their justification was that it’s not fair that their extended family got to go on these trips while they were stuck in China, so they deserved it. I’m guessing this may be why they never seem to have enough money.

But then again, I spent more than they did this summer, since we bought a house, so I suppose pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black.

You still have the house, though, presumably. While it's not exactly a liquid asset, if you wanted to sell it you could. The same cannot be said of a vacation that's in the past.

[jinga nation]

My colleagues have been sharing vacation stories. One coworker often complains about living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to save anything for retirement. (We are expats and can’t contribute to social security in the US/Canada, and our company gives us cash in lieu of a pension contribution.) They are a family of four. For their vacation, they flew to the US (~USD$10k), took a fancy expensive cruise (~USD$6500), went to Mexico where they “drank way too much” ($5000), and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000). My estimates are low as I’m using current non-peak season prices. So they managed to spend at a minimum, $25k in two months. And very likely they spent more than that because they like upgrades and luxuries and “once in a lifetime experiences”, and I haven’t factored in living expenses when they were in the US.

Their justification was that it’s not fair that their extended family got to go on these trips while they were stuck in China, so they deserved it. I’m guessing this may be why they never seem to have enough money.

But then again, I spent more than they did this summer, since we bought a house, so I suppose pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black.

$5000 for booze? If two were kids, then that's $2500/adult. Did they drink a heck ton of cheap booze or a few bottles of very expensive tequila, wine, rare spirits?

[farmecologist]

My colleagues have been sharing vacation stories. One coworker often complains about living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to save anything for retirement. (We are expats and can’t contribute to social security in the US/Canada, and our company gives us cash in lieu of a pension contribution.) They are a family of four. For their vacation, they flew to the US (~USD$10k), took a fancy expensive cruise (~USD$6500), went to Mexico where they “drank way too much” ($5000), and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000). My estimates are low as I’m using current non-peak season prices. So they managed to spend at a minimum, $25k in two months. And very likely they spent more than that because they like upgrades and luxuries and “once in a lifetime experiences”, and I haven’t factored in living expenses when they were in the US.

Their justification was that it’s not fair that their extended family got to go on these trips while they were stuck in China, so they deserved it. I’m guessing this may be why they never seem to have enough money.

But then again, I spent more than they did this summer, since we bought a house, so I suppose pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black.

$5000 for booze? If two were kids, then that's $2500/adult. Did they drink a heck ton of cheap booze or a few bottles of very expensive tequila, wine, rare spirits?

Good lord...We paid for an entire Viking Rhine river cruise for less than the "$5000" they spent on booze ( around $4500 to be exact )! 

They had a deal going with free international airfare and free drink package.  Just got back a couple weeks ago.  Best....trip....ever, especially for the price!  The drink package was great...awesome bartenders and top shelf everything was included.

It is unbelievable what some pay for vacations.  I'm assuming they don't even bother to look for any sort of deals, which is completely against our sensibilities ( and I'm assuming others here are the same way as we are )!

[Freedomin5]

My colleagues have been sharing vacation stories. One coworker often complains about living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to save anything for retirement. (We are expats and can’t contribute to social security in the US/Canada, and our company gives us cash in lieu of a pension contribution.) They are a family of four. For their vacation, they flew to the US (~USD$10k), took a fancy expensive cruise (~USD$6500), went to Mexico where they “drank way too much” ($5000), and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000). My estimates are low as I’m using current non-peak season prices. So they managed to spend at a minimum, $25k in two months. And very likely they spent more than that because they like upgrades and luxuries and “once in a lifetime experiences”, and I haven’t factored in living expenses when they were in the US.

Their justification was that it’s not fair that their extended family got to go on these trips while they were stuck in China, so they deserved it. I’m guessing this may be why they never seem to have enough money.

But then again, I spent more than they did this summer, since we bought a house, so I suppose pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black.

You still have the house, though, presumably. While it's not exactly a liquid asset, if you wanted to sell it you could. The same cannot be said of a vacation that's in the past.

That is true. Also, our house is basically a rental property.

[Freedomin5]

My colleagues have been sharing vacation stories. One coworker often complains about living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to save anything for retirement. (We are expats and can’t contribute to social security in the US/Canada, and our company gives us cash in lieu of a pension contribution.) They are a family of four. For their vacation, they flew to the US (~USD$10k), took a fancy expensive cruise (~USD$6500), went to Mexico where they “drank way too much” ($5000), and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000). My estimates are low as I’m using current non-peak season prices. So they managed to spend at a minimum, $25k in two months. And very likely they spent more than that because they like upgrades and luxuries and “once in a lifetime experiences”, and I haven’t factored in living expenses when they were in the US.

Their justification was that it’s not fair that their extended family got to go on these trips while they were stuck in China, so they deserved it. I’m guessing this may be why they never seem to have enough money.

But then again, I spent more than they did this summer, since we bought a house, so I suppose pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black.

$5000 for booze? If two were kids, then that's $2500/adult. Did they drink a heck ton of cheap booze or a few bottles of very expensive tequila, wine, rare spirits?

They (2 adults, 2 kids) went to a 5-star all-inclusive resort in Mexico for about a week. The $5000 was the approximate cost for the vacation, including flights.

[Gronnie]

My colleagues have been sharing vacation stories. One coworker often complains about living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to save anything for retirement. (We are expats and can’t contribute to social security in the US/Canada, and our company gives us cash in lieu of a pension contribution.) They are a family of four. For their vacation, they flew to the US (~USD$10k), took a fancy expensive cruise (~USD$6500), went to Mexico where they “drank way too much” ($5000), and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000). My estimates are low as I’m using current non-peak season prices. So they managed to spend at a minimum, $25k in two months. And very likely they spent more than that because they like upgrades and luxuries and “once in a lifetime experiences”, and I haven’t factored in living expenses when they were in the US.

Their justification was that it’s not fair that their extended family got to go on these trips while they were stuck in China, so they deserved it. I’m guessing this may be why they never seem to have enough money.

But then again, I spent more than they did this summer, since we bought a house, so I suppose pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black.

$5000 for booze? If two were kids, then that's $2500/adult. Did they drink a heck ton of cheap booze or a few bottles of very expensive tequila, wine, rare spirits?

They (2 adults, 2 kids) went to a 5-star all-inclusive resort in Mexico for about a week. The $5000 was the approximate cost for the vacation, including flights.

I would bet on the over.

[TheGrimSqueaker]

My colleagues have been sharing vacation stories. One coworker often complains about living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to save anything for retirement. (We are expats and can’t contribute to social security in the US/Canada, and our company gives us cash in lieu of a pension contribution.) They are a family of four. For their vacation, they flew to the US (~USD$10k), took a fancy expensive cruise (~USD$6500), went to Mexico where they “drank way too much” ($5000), and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000). My estimates are low as I’m using current non-peak season prices. So they managed to spend at a minimum, $25k in two months. And very likely they spent more than that because they like upgrades and luxuries and “once in a lifetime experiences”, and I haven’t factored in living expenses when they were in the US.

Their justification was that it’s not fair that their extended family got to go on these trips while they were stuck in China, so they deserved it. I’m guessing this may be why they never seem to have enough money.

But then again, I spent more than they did this summer, since we bought a house, so I suppose pots shouldn’t be calling kettles black.

$5000 for booze? If two were kids, then that's $2500/adult. Did they drink a heck ton of cheap booze or a few bottles of very expensive tequila, wine, rare spirits?

They (2 adults, 2 kids) went to a 5-star all-inclusive resort in Mexico for about a week. The $5000 was the approximate cost for the vacation, including flights.

I would bet on the over.

Flights to Mexico from the US may not have cost a lot, depending on timing, location, and whether there are connecting flights.

[Adventine]

I believe Freedomin5's coworkers travelled from China to Mexico.

[Freedomin5]

I believe Freedomin5's coworkers travelled from China to Mexico.

China -> US -> Vancouver -> US -> Mexico -> US -> China

They’re now planning a vacation (all-inclusive, private tour) to India.

[Adventine]

I believe Freedomin5's coworkers travelled from China to Mexico.

China -> US -> Vancouver -> US -> Mexico -> US -> China

They’re now planning a vacation (all-inclusive, private tour) to India.

Well, in their heads, they're chasing that best life! /s

[NorthernIkigai]

I believe Freedomin5's coworkers travelled from China to Mexico.

China -> US -> Vancouver -> US -> Mexico -> US -> China

They’re now planning a vacation (all-inclusive, private tour) to India.

It seems to be getting away from them…

Well, in their heads, they're chasing that best life! /s

[ysette9]

The double eyelid thing was fascinating to me. My now-husband had to explain what it was when we started dating. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have never even noticed the difference if someone hadn’t pointed it out to me. Same with the nose bridge/no nose bridge thing. Now I can’t unsee it and find it sad that actors and other famous people all have nose bridges. Hopefully my kids can just view these differences as “looking more like mummy” and “looking more like baba” than any value judgement associated with them.

As I get old and saggy I find myself much less judge mental of anything people want to freely do to their own bodies. That said, we will still judge the expense if they can’t afford it.

And yes, LASIK is some of the best money I have spent.

[Otterwins]

The double eyelid thing was fascinating to me. My now-husband had to explain what it was when we started dating. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have never even noticed the difference if someone hadn’t pointed it out to me. Same with the nose bridge/no nose bridge thing. Now I can’t unsee it and find it sad that actors and other famous people all have nose bridges. Hopefully my kids can just view these differences as “looking more like mummy” and “looking more like baba” than any value judgement associated with them.

As I get old and saggy I find myself much less judge mental of anything people want to freely do to their own bodies. That said, we will still judge the expense if they can’t afford it.

And yes, LASIK is some of the best money I have spent.

The amount of people getting expensive cosmetic work done is shocking to me. Even basic Botox is like $300-500 per round (for the LEAST amount), and you need to do it 2x per year. Why drop $1,000 per year on a few wrinkles that just come back? That's $10,000 over 10 years ($13-14 with interest).

I'd rather have this $$ for something more interesting. People can put up with my squinty lines.

[Villanelle]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

Bingo. They explained it was medically necessary to prevent getting wrinkles on their forehead. Without the surgery, they’d have to use the muscles in their forehead to open their eyes and make them look nice and round. I guess this helps with forehead muscle strain?

To be vaguely fair, I know of two older women who had to have eyelid surgery BEFORE they could have medically-necessary cataract surgery.  Their eyelid muscles ... I don't know how to say this, "relaxed"? "stretched"? so that their eyelids were always at half-mast (or more closed) and it apparently puts pressure on some part of your eyeball. (Oh, just thought of a third: my literally-zen-buddhist aunt had the same eyelid surgery, because she was getting back and neck problems from having to tip her head back to see stuff.)

Signed, someone who will also be on that path, so I keep a (mentally-separated) savings bucket for this item. Sigh.

My father--in his mid-70s at the time--had an insurance-funded eyelid lift.  His lids drooped enough that it was affecting his vision.  They did a test to check his peripheral vision (and maybe also just total field of vision) and it was deemed bad enough that the surgery to lift his eyelids out of the way so he could see better/more was deemed medically necessary.  We all teased him a bit about it, but there was not an ounce of vanity in the decision to do it. 

DH has "bedroom eyes" which are deep set and heavy-lidded and I suspect he will need something similar in as he ages.  /threadjack

[Kris]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

Bingo. They explained it was medically necessary to prevent getting wrinkles on their forehead. Without the surgery, they’d have to use the muscles in their forehead to open their eyes and make them look nice and round. I guess this helps with forehead muscle strain?

To be vaguely fair, I know of two older women who had to have eyelid surgery BEFORE they could have medically-necessary cataract surgery.  Their eyelid muscles ... I don't know how to say this, "relaxed"? "stretched"? so that their eyelids were always at half-mast (or more closed) and it apparently puts pressure on some part of your eyeball. (Oh, just thought of a third: my literally-zen-buddhist aunt had the same eyelid surgery, because she was getting back and neck problems from having to tip her head back to see stuff.)

Signed, someone who will also be on that path, so I keep a (mentally-separated) savings bucket for this item. Sigh.

My father--in his mid-70s at the time--had an insurance-funded eyelid lift.  His lids drooped enough that it was affecting his vision.  They did a test to check his peripheral vision (and maybe also just total field of vision) and it was deemed bad enough that the surgery to lift his eyelids out of the way so he could see better/more was deemed medically necessary.  We all teased him a bit about it, but there was not an ounce of vanity in the decision to do it. 

DH has "bedroom eyes" which are deep set and heavy-lidded and I suspect he will need something similar in as he ages.  /threadjack

I am likely to need this at some point as well. I’m caucasian, but my eyes are similar in many ways to someone from east Asia (epicanthic folds and close to monolid). My vision is fine now, but my eyelids are low enough that they have actually pushed down enough to reverse the direction of my lashes. If you looked closely at my lashes, the direction they point sort of looks like my right lashes are on my left eye and vice versa.

It doesn’t affect me at all really, except I no longer wear mascara if and when I ever put on makeup to go to a fancy event, because it would look weird. But yeah, I am waiting for the day when it starts to make it harder to see.

[ysette9]

The double eyelid thing was fascinating to me. My now-husband had to explain what it was when we started dating. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have never even noticed the difference if someone hadn’t pointed it out to me. Same with the nose bridge/no nose bridge thing. Now I can’t unsee it and find it sad that actors and other famous people all have nose bridges. Hopefully my kids can just view these differences as “looking more like mummy” and “looking more like baba” than any value judgement associated with them.

As I get old and saggy I find myself much less judge mental of anything people want to freely do to their own bodies. That said, we will still judge the expense if they can’t afford it.

And yes, LASIK is some of the best money I have spent.

The amount of people getting expensive cosmetic work done is shocking to me. Even basic Botox is like $300-500 per round (for the LEAST amount), and you need to do it 2x per year. Why drop $1,000 per year on a few wrinkles that just come back? That's $10,000 over 10 years ($13-14 with interest).

I'd rather have this $$ for something more interesting. People can put up with my squinty lines.

I read recently that at some point with the wrinkle relaxers the muscles sort of give up and you don’t have to continue getting treatments in that area. I suppose it makes sense when I think about it, but I was still surprised.

[ysette9]

and then underwent cosmetic surgery (~$3000).

Please tell me the surgery was LASIK, please tell me the surgery was LASIK... obviously not from the remainder of your post but I can at least hope, right?
I only found out that LASIK is technically considered cosmetic when I went to go get it done, since insurance does not cover it. I tell all my friends and family that I've had cosmetic surgery now. ;)

No, but their eyes now look bigger and rounder.

Oh my god, did they get eyelid surgery?

Bingo. They explained it was medically necessary to prevent getting wrinkles on their forehead. Without the surgery, they’d have to use the muscles in their forehead to open their eyes and make them look nice and round. I guess this helps with forehead muscle strain?

To be vaguely fair, I know of two older women who had to have eyelid surgery BEFORE they could have medically-necessary cataract surgery.  Their eyelid muscles ... I don't know how to say this, "relaxed"? "stretched"? so that their eyelids were always at half-mast (or more closed) and it apparently puts pressure on some part of your eyeball. (Oh, just thought of a third: my literally-zen-buddhist aunt had the same eyelid surgery, because she was getting back and neck problems from having to tip her head back to see stuff.)

Signed, someone who will also be on that path, so I keep a (mentally-separated) savings bucket for this item. Sigh.

My father--in his mid-70s at the time--had an insurance-funded eyelid lift.  His lids drooped enough that it was affecting his vision.  They did a test to check his peripheral vision (and maybe also just total field of vision) and it was deemed bad enough that the surgery to lift his eyelids out of the way so he could see better/more was deemed medically necessary.  We all teased him a bit about it, but there was not an ounce of vanity in the decision to do it. 

DH has "bedroom eyes" which are deep set and heavy-lidded and I suspect he will need something similar in as he ages.  /threadjack

I am likely to need this at some point as well. I’m caucasian, but my eyes are similar in many ways to someone from east Asia (epicanthic folds and close to monolid). My vision is fine now, but my eyelids are low enough that they have actually pushed down enough to reverse the direction of my lashes. If you looked closely at my lashes, the direction they point sort of looks like my right lashes are on my left eye and vice versa.

It doesn’t affect me at all really, except I no longer wear mascara if and when I ever put on makeup to go to a fancy event, because it would look weird. But yeah, I am waiting for the day when it starts to make it harder to see.

That is weirdly fascinating. :)

My eyelids aren’t big enough so my eyes don’t quite close fully. It is awful because it means when I sleep my eyes dry out, exacerbated by the fact that late in my 20s I started suffering from dry eyes in general. I have a multi step maintenance routine i do every day, but still my eyes hurt when I get up to pee at night.

[markbike528CBX]

The double eyelid thing was fascinating to me. My now-husband had to explain what it was when we started dating. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have never even noticed the difference if someone hadn’t pointed it out to me. Same with the nose bridge/no nose bridge thing. Now I can’t unsee it and find it sad that actors and other famous people all have nose bridges. Hopefully my kids can just view these differences as “looking more like mummy” and “looking more like baba” than any value judgement associated with them.

As I get old and saggy I find myself much less judge mental of anything people want to freely do to their own bodies. That said, we will still judge the expense if they can’t afford it.

And yes, LASIK is some of the best money I have spent.

The amount of people getting expensive cosmetic work done is shocking to me. Even basic Botox is like $300-500 per round (for the LEAST amount), and you need to do it 2x per year. Why drop $1,000 per year on a few wrinkles that just come back? That's $10,000 over 10 years ($13-14 with interest).

I'd rather have this $$ for something more interesting. People can put up with my squinty lines.

I read recently that at some point with the wrinkle relaxers the muscles sort of give up and you don’t have to continue getting treatments in that area. I suppose it makes sense when I think about it, but I was still surprised.

“Note that botulinum toxin type A is 15,000 times more toxic than VX and 100,000 times more toxic than Sarin, two of the well known organophosphate nerve agents.“
https://gulflink.health.mil/bw_ii/bw_refs/n23en118/botulinum.htm#:~:text=Note%20that%20botulinum%20toxin%20type,well%20known%20organophosphate%20nerve%20agents.

[maisymouser]

I think I finally have a story that is really truly worthy of this thread.

I was out to eat with coworkers, company-sponsored. I sat down with my delicious plate of Mediterranean food and realized I didn't grab silverware. My colleague points me in the right direction for plasticware, which I don't want to get because there is actual silverware at this place.

The coworker looks at me and says, I don't trust silverware from restaurants. I always go with plastic. Then they go on to explain how they actually THROW AWAY the real silverware from our company cafeteria to discourage its use.

[ysette9]

The double eyelid thing was fascinating to me. My now-husband had to explain what it was when we started dating. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have never even noticed the difference if someone hadn’t pointed it out to me. Same with the nose bridge/no nose bridge thing. Now I can’t unsee it and find it sad that actors and other famous people all have nose bridges. Hopefully my kids can just view these differences as “looking more like mummy” and “looking more like baba” than any value judgement associated with them.

As I get old and saggy I find myself much less judge mental of anything people want to freely do to their own bodies. That said, we will still judge the expense if they can’t afford it.

And yes, LASIK is some of the best money I have spent.

The amount of people getting expensive cosmetic work done is shocking to me. Even basic Botox is like $300-500 per round (for the LEAST amount), and you need to do it 2x per year. Why drop $1,000 per year on a few wrinkles that just come back? That's $10,000 over 10 years ($13-14 with interest).

I'd rather have this $$ for something more interesting. People can put up with my squinty lines.

I read recently that at some point with the wrinkle relaxers the muscles sort of give up and you don’t have to continue getting treatments in that area. I suppose it makes sense when I think about it, but I was still surprised.

“Note that botulinum toxin type A is 15,000 times more toxic than VX and 100,000 times more toxic than Sarin, two of the well known organophosphate nerve agents.“
https://gulflink.health.mil/bw_ii/bw_refs/n23en118/botulinum.htm#:~:text=Note%20that%20botulinum%20toxin%20type,well%20known%20organophosphate%20nerve%20agents.

As they say, “dose makes the poison”.

[ysette9]

I think I finally have a story that is really truly worthy of this thread.

I was out to eat with coworkers, company-sponsored. I sat down with my delicious plate of Mediterranean food and realized I didn't grab silverware. My colleague points me in the right direction for plasticware, which I don't want to get because there is actual silverware at this place.

The coworker looks at me and says, I don't trust silverware from restaurants. I always go with plastic. Then they go on to explain how they actually THROW AWAY the real silverware from our company cafeteria to discourage its use.

Oh good lord, that is awful.

Do they have a problem with the reusable cookware and serving utensils in restaurants and cafeterias?

[LennStar]

I think I finally have a story that is really truly worthy of this thread.

I was out to eat with coworkers, company-sponsored. I sat down with my delicious plate of Mediterranean food and realized I didn't grab silverware. My colleague points me in the right direction for plasticware, which I don't want to get because there is actual silverware at this place.

The coworker looks at me and says, I don't trust silverware from restaurants. I always go with plastic. Then they go on to explain how they actually THROW AWAY the real silverware from our company cafeteria to discourage its use.

Oh good lord, that is awful.

Do they have a problem with the reusable cookware and serving utensils in restaurants and cafeterias?

Are they important? Do you like them?
Just asking, because people have been fired for a lot less. And contrary to most of them, this person deserves it.

[maisymouser]

I think I finally have a story that is really truly worthy of this thread.

I was out to eat with coworkers, company-sponsored. I sat down with my delicious plate of Mediterranean food and realized I didn't grab silverware. My colleague points me in the right direction for plasticware, which I don't want to get because there is actual silverware at this place.

The coworker looks at me and says, I don't trust silverware from restaurants. I always go with plastic. Then they go on to explain how they actually THROW AWAY the real silverware from our company cafeteria to discourage its use.

Oh good lord, that is awful.

Do they have a problem with the reusable cookware and serving utensils in restaurants and cafeterias?

Are they important? Do you like them?
Just asking, because people have been fired for a lot less. And contrary to most of them, this person deserves it.

Yes - they do have a problem with serving utensils in restaurants, I'm not sure what they do if they eat out.

I wouldn't say this person is high ranking. I actually find them the most enjoyable person I work with and they have an awesome work ethic, but they're not management or anything. I certainly don't think they should be fired but I was pretty annoyed to hear this because my company only recently started using reusable utensils and I I'm an advocate for that sort of thing, if it wasn't obvious from me being mustachian to begin with.

I don't know if they consider it some sort of hygienic grassroots activism to hijack the cafeteria utensils- part of me was amused that they thought this would make some sort of impact. But I was mostly grossed out about the wastefulness.

[AlanStache]

...

Yes - they do have a problem with serving utensils in restaurants, I'm not sure what they do if they eat out.

I wouldn't say this person is high ranking. I actually find them the most enjoyable person I work with and they have an awesome work ethic, but they're not management or anything. I certainly don't think they should be fired but I was pretty annoyed to hear this because my company only recently started using reusable utensils and I I'm an advocate for that sort of thing, if it wasn't obvious from me being mustachian to begin with.

I don't know if they consider it some sort of hygienic grassroots activism to hijack the cafeteria utensils- part of me was amused that they thought this would make some sort of impact. But I was mostly grossed out about the wastefulness.

Next time you go over to their work area throw out whatever of there's you would normally touch and bring your own.  Then take yours back with you when you leave.  

[Freedomin5]

I think I finally have a story that is really truly worthy of this thread.

I was out to eat with coworkers, company-sponsored. I sat down with my delicious plate of Mediterranean food and realized I didn't grab silverware. My colleague points me in the right direction for plasticware, which I don't want to get because there is actual silverware at this place.

The coworker looks at me and says, I don't trust silverware from restaurants. I always go with plastic. Then they go on to explain how they actually THROW AWAY the real silverware from our company cafeteria to discourage its use.

Oh good lord, that is awful.

Do they have a problem with the reusable cookware and serving utensils in restaurants and cafeterias?

Are they important? Do you like them?
Just asking, because people have been fired for a lot less. And contrary to most of them, this person deserves it.

Yes - they do have a problem with serving utensils in restaurants, I'm not sure what they do if they eat out.

I wouldn't say this person is high ranking. I actually find them the most enjoyable person I work with and they have an awesome work ethic, but they're not management or anything. I certainly don't think they should be fired but I was pretty annoyed to hear this because my company only recently started using reusable utensils and I I'm an advocate for that sort of thing, if it wasn't obvious from me being mustachian to begin with.

I don't know if they consider it some sort of hygienic grassroots activism to hijack the cafeteria utensils- part of me was amused that they thought this would make some sort of impact. But I was mostly grossed out about the wastefulness.

Regardless of whether they agree with the use of silverware or not, they have no right to throw away someone else’s belongings. If they do it often enough, it seems like it would be moving into fire-able territory.

[Adventine]

Throwing away silverware would also make me wonder what other company property that person's been throwing away for no good reason. If they don't have common sense and good judgment when it comes to that, what other stupid things are they doing on the job?