Overheard at Work 2

[Kris]

It’s clearly an attempt at juvenile humor. If I said “ew kissing gross” I don’t think you nasty kissers would complain that much.  Seriously people keep those lips to yourselves

Given that women have only recently been able to discuss menstruation openly in public, and that we are still often chastised for doing so... not so obviously a joke.

So there ya go.

[DadJokes]

It was a joke, people.  I like lady parts.

Another coworker of mine just paid off his car.  I was trying to suggest he should invest his cash flow now.  I think it sunk in but he's eager to spend a bit.  He has a house so I can't blame him for wanting to renovate.

Dude.

Can you... just not?

What exactly is the outrage here?  I don't understand.

Some people go through life looking to be offended.

[Kris]

It was a joke, people.  I like lady parts.

Another coworker of mine just paid off his car.  I was trying to suggest he should invest his cash flow now.  I think it sunk in but he's eager to spend a bit.  He has a house so I can't blame him for wanting to renovate.

Dude.

Can you... just not?

What exactly is the outrage here?  I don't understand.

Some people go through life looking to be offended.

Hey, DadJokes. Fancy seeing you here.

[haflander]

Another coworker of mine just paid off his car.  I was trying to suggest he should invest his cash flow now.  I think it sunk in but he's eager to spend a bit.

After reading this thread this week, "cash flow" has a whole new meaning to me now.

[joleran]

After reading this thread this week, "cash flow" has a whole new meaning to me now.

People buy used underwear and feet pictures, so it's possible...

[Just Joe]

Hey - I like lady fingers...

And how does a person spend $800 a month of a Civic?

[ixtap]

Hey - I like lady fingers...

And how does a person spend $800 a month of a Civic?

mmm, lady fingers

But I think that the $800 a month Civic nearly got lost as the most important question around here.

I mean, even when I had less savings, my definition of when to get a new car is when the mechanic starts getting more a month than the bank would with a loan.

[Dogastrophe]

Hey - I like lady fingers...

And how does a person spend $800 a month of a Civic?

Civic Type R starts at $42K in Canada - can easily turn this into a $60K car by adding the floor mats and a few other accessories + sales tax.

Way back in this thread (or maybe was in the original pt 1 thread) I mentioned a former coworker who traded a 2 years old Jeep in for a Charger.  Then a year or two later traded in for a Civic Type R.  All financed - underwater on each loan when he traded.  I suspect his Type R was costing him well over $1000 (CDN) per month.  He would also regularly complain about his finances and that he might need a second job because he wasn't earning enough money.

[Wrenchturner]

Hey - I like lady fingers...

And how does a person spend $800 a month of a Civic?

Civic Type R starts at $42K in Canada - can easily turn this into a $60K car by adding the floor mats and a few other accessories + sales tax.

Way back in this thread (or maybe was in the original pt 1 thread) I mentioned a former coworker who traded a 2 years old Jeep in for a Charger.  Then a year or two later traded in for a Civic Type R.  All financed - underwater on each loan when he traded.  I suspect his Type R was costing him well over $1000 (CDN) per month.  He would also regularly complain about his finances and that he might need a second job because he wasn't earning enough money.

It's a turbo civic.  $600 for the car, $200 for insurance.

I think he spends at least $200 a month on cannabis too.

[OliveFI]

Hey - I like lady fingers...

And how does a person spend $800 a month of a Civic?

Civic Type R starts at $42K in Canada - can easily turn this into a $60K car by adding the floor mats and a few other accessories + sales tax.

Way back in this thread (or maybe was in the original pt 1 thread) I mentioned a former coworker who traded a 2 years old Jeep in for a Charger.  Then a year or two later traded in for a Civic Type R.  All financed - underwater on each loan when he traded.  I suspect his Type R was costing him well over $1000 (CDN) per month.  He would also regularly complain about his finances and that he might need a second job because he wasn't earning enough money.

It's a turbo civic.  $600 for the car, $200 for insurance.

I think he spends at least $200 a month on cannabis too.

I loved my basic civic (2010) - but like if you are willing to spend $800 on a car, why not get a better car? IDK this seems crazy.

Meanwhile, my coworker wants to get a car in NYC. The parking is $500 a month. So add the car, gas, and insurance. I'm not even saving that much money with my menstrual cup over 10 years ;)

[Wrenchturner]

Hey - I like lady fingers...

And how does a person spend $800 a month of a Civic?

Civic Type R starts at $42K in Canada - can easily turn this into a $60K car by adding the floor mats and a few other accessories + sales tax.

Way back in this thread (or maybe was in the original pt 1 thread) I mentioned a former coworker who traded a 2 years old Jeep in for a Charger.  Then a year or two later traded in for a Civic Type R.  All financed - underwater on each loan when he traded.  I suspect his Type R was costing him well over $1000 (CDN) per month.  He would also regularly complain about his finances and that he might need a second job because he wasn't earning enough money.

It's a turbo civic.  $600 for the car, $200 for insurance.

I think he spends at least $200 a month on cannabis too.

I loved my basic civic (2010) - but like if you are willing to spend $800 on a car, why not get a better car? IDK this seems crazy.

Meanwhile, my coworker wants to get a car in NYC. The parking is $500 a month. So add the car, gas, and insurance. I'm not even saving that much money with my menstrual cup over 10 years ;)

No idea why he bought a fancy Civic.  I don't think there's a lot of thought going into this decision.

Owning a car in NYC seems crazy too.  But living in NYC would be very expensive regardless I'm sure.

[Rural]

Last civic I bought cost six weeks of his payments ($1200 for the thing). A week later, Katrina hit and the seller called asking if I'd sell it back for twice that, but I drove it another 200k miles instead.

[jinga nation]

Hey - I like lady fingers...

And how does a person spend $800 a month of a Civic?

Civic Type R starts at $42K in Canada - can easily turn this into a $60K car by adding the floor mats and a few other accessories + sales tax.

Way back in this thread (or maybe was in the original pt 1 thread) I mentioned a former coworker who traded a 2 years old Jeep in for a Charger.  Then a year or two later traded in for a Civic Type R.  All financed - underwater on each loan when he traded.  I suspect his Type R was costing him well over $1000 (CDN) per month.  He would also regularly complain about his finances and that he might need a second job because he wasn't earning enough money.

It's a turbo civic.  $600 for the car, $200 for insurance.

I think he spends at least $200 a month on cannabis too.

I loved my basic civic (2010) - but like if you are willing to spend $800 on a car, why not get a better car? IDK this seems crazy.

Meanwhile, my coworker wants to get a car in NYC. The parking is $500 a month. So add the car, gas, and insurance. I'm not even saving that much money with my menstrual cup over 10 years ;)

No idea why he bought a fancy Civic.  I don't think there's a lot of thought going into this decision.

Owning a car in NYC seems crazy too.  But living in NYC would be very expensive regardless I'm sure.

Was at the local Honda dealership on Monday getting 1st 6 month service on wife's Honda Insight (we buy new Honda/Toyota and drive till they die, her 2006 Civic's engine block cracked in mid 2019).

Asked the sales guys where's the Type R... response was "bought by rich daddies for their kids". I thought it was a joke. A little later, I asked another sales rep, he said that every single Type R they've sold has been bought by Bank of Mum/Dad for Prince/Princess. I asked how many had been leased to working Joes, he said none. Their $5000 markup does not deter the sales, but turns away the potential lessors.

[dragoncar]

It’s clearly an attempt at juvenile humor. If I said “ew kissing gross” I don’t think you nasty kissers would complain that much.  Seriously people keep those lips to yourselves

Given that women have only recently been able to discuss menstruation openly in public, and that we are still often chastised for doing so... not so obviously a joke.

So there ya go.

Waiiit.  You thought it wasn’t a joke and that wrenchturner is legitimately grossed out by women’s anatomy? 

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

It’s clearly an attempt at juvenile humor. If I said “ew kissing gross” I don’t think you nasty kissers would complain that much.  Seriously people keep those lips to yourselves

Given that women have only recently been able to discuss menstruation openly in public, and that we are still often chastised for doing so... not so obviously a joke.

So there ya go.

Waiiit.  You thought it wasn’t a joke and that wrenchturner is legitimately grossed out by women’s anatomy?

Let's not rehash this. People can disagree. Kris was offended, Wrenchturner apologised, that's all we need to know.

[dragoncar]

It’s clearly an attempt at juvenile humor. If I said “ew kissing gross” I don’t think you nasty kissers would complain that much.  Seriously people keep those lips to yourselves

Given that women have only recently been able to discuss menstruation openly in public, and that we are still often chastised for doing so... not so obviously a joke.

So there ya go.

Waiiit.  You thought it wasn’t a joke and that wrenchturner is legitimately grossed out by women’s anatomy?

Let's not rehash this. People can disagree. Kris was offended, Wrenchturner apologised, that's all we need to know.

I thought kris was offended by a poor joke, not by a supposedly earnest disapproval of “lady parts”

We don’t strictly “need to know” any of this.  I want to know more.  I am offended by your cold dismissal of my curiosity

[Kris]

It’s clearly an attempt at juvenile humor. If I said “ew kissing gross” I don’t think you nasty kissers would complain that much.  Seriously people keep those lips to yourselves

Given that women have only recently been able to discuss menstruation openly in public, and that we are still often chastised for doing so... not so obviously a joke.

So there ya go.

Waiiit.  You thought it wasn’t a joke and that wrenchturner is legitimately grossed out by women’s anatomy?

Let's not rehash this. People can disagree. Kris was offended, Wrenchturner apologised, that's all we need to know.

I thought kris was offended by a poor joke, not by a supposedly earnest disapproval of “lady parts”

We don’t strictly “need to know” any of this.  I want to know more.  I am offended by your cold dismissal of my curiosity

I just want to point out that it wasn’t just wrenchturner’s remark, but more specifically, solon’s fairly earnest thanking him for changing the subject from periods.

And also, that merula was also bothered by this. Not just me.

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

It’s clearly an attempt at juvenile humor. If I said “ew kissing gross” I don’t think you nasty kissers would complain that much.  Seriously people keep those lips to yourselves

Given that women have only recently been able to discuss menstruation openly in public, and that we are still often chastised for doing so... not so obviously a joke.

So there ya go.

Waiiit.  You thought it wasn’t a joke and that wrenchturner is legitimately grossed out by women’s anatomy?

Let's not rehash this. People can disagree. Kris was offended, Wrenchturner apologised, that's all we need to know.

I thought kris was offended by a poor joke, not by a supposedly earnest disapproval of “lady parts”

We don’t strictly “need to know” any of this.  I want to know more.  I am offended by your cold dismissal of my curiosity

I just want to point out that it wasn’t just wrenchturner’s remark, but more specifically, solon’s fairly earnest thanking him for changing the subject from periods.

And also, that merula was also bothered by this. Not just me.

You're allowed to be offended. You don't have to explain yourself. We all have different perspectives, and yours is as valid as mine. But I think Dragoncar is now kind of pointlessly stirring things. I understand your perspective. I hope you understand mine. Wrenchturner understands he unwittingly offended someone. Kind of end of conversation?

[dragoncar]

It’s clearly an attempt at juvenile humor. If I said “ew kissing gross” I don’t think you nasty kissers would complain that much.  Seriously people keep those lips to yourselves

Given that women have only recently been able to discuss menstruation openly in public, and that we are still often chastised for doing so... not so obviously a joke.

So there ya go.

Waiiit.  You thought it wasn’t a joke and that wrenchturner is legitimately grossed out by women’s anatomy?

Let's not rehash this. People can disagree. Kris was offended, Wrenchturner apologised, that's all we need to know.

I thought kris was offended by a poor joke, not by a supposedly earnest disapproval of “lady parts”

We don’t strictly “need to know” any of this.  I want to know more.  I am offended by your cold dismissal of my curiosity

I just want to point out that it wasn’t just wrenchturner’s remark, but more specifically, solon’s fairly earnest thanking him for changing the subject from periods.

And also, that merula was also bothered by this. Not just me.

You're allowed to be offended. You don't have to explain yourself. We all have different perspectives, and yours is as valid as mine. But I think Dragoncar is now kind of pointlessly stirring things. I understand your perspective. I hope you understand mine. Wrenchturner understands he unwittingly offended someone. Kind of end of conversation?

Good talk.  I guess some perspectives are more equal than others.

[LennStar]

It’s clearly an attempt at juvenile humor. If I said “ew kissing gross” I don’t think you nasty kissers would complain that much.  Seriously people keep those lips to yourselves

Given that women have only recently been able to discuss menstruation openly in public, and that we are still often chastised for doing so... not so obviously a joke.

So there ya go.

Waiiit.  You thought it wasn’t a joke and that wrenchturner is legitimately grossed out by women’s anatomy?

Let's not rehash this. People can disagree. Kris was offended, Wrenchturner apologised, that's all we need to know.

I thought kris was offended by a poor joke, not by a supposedly earnest disapproval of “lady parts”

We don’t strictly “need to know” any of this.  I want to know more.  I am offended by your cold dismissal of my curiosity

Oh, come on. Now we are getting into real stupidity waters here!

Open a new thread "mentrual cups, lady parts and can you like them?" if you wish, but please stop it now.

[Just Joe]

I loved my basic civic (2010) - but like if you are willing to spend $800 on a car, why not get a better car? IDK this seems crazy.

In my part of the country that's a comfortable house payment.

[Wrenchturner]

I loved my basic civic (2010) - but like if you are willing to spend $800 on a car, why not get a better car? IDK this seems crazy.

In my part of the country that's a comfortable house payment.

You can sleep in a car but you can't drive a house!

[firstmatedavy]

You're right, I apologize--men can have uteruses too.

https://mobile.twitter.com/PPIndKentucky/status/969384341636861952

Including some of the men on this forum.

I don't have many stories from my current job. My coworkers bring their own lunches and snacks to work, and I haven't heard anyone airing their financial dirty laundry. I do have one of the "worst" cars in the parking lot, though. And my coworkers seemed really confused by my asking if the farmers market they were talking about was the cheap kind or the fancy organic kind - but maybe cheap farmer's markets just don't exist around here.

Neighbors, though - the guy I rented a room from for a few weeks when I first moved here had two nearly identical BMWs in his garage, in addition to the civic that he drove on week days. In my new neighborhood there's a guy with Supreme stickers on his BMW's windshield - I'm not sure how much those cost, but the brand is famous for overpriced branded products.

[wellactually]

Car addiction is insidious.

We (team of three) have an informal meeting to start each week, half social and half sharing what we're working on. We were talking about how great the weather had been last Saturday and I said I had gotten a real treat. After the geese dive-bombed my car while out running errands with DH, we went through an automatic car wash. I said it had been years since I did that and it was so nice.

Co-worker said she goes through the car wash multiple times EACH WEEK. She is absolutely not in a financial position for this based on oodles of other things she's shared.

[bluebelle]

[


Neighbors, though - the guy I rented a room from for a few weeks when I first moved here had two nearly identical BMWs in his garage, in addition to the civic that he drove on week days. In my new neighborhood there's a guy with Supreme stickers on his BMW's windshield - I'm not sure how much those cost, but the brand is famous for overpriced branded products.

I had to go google what Supreme stickers would be.....is that the skateboard company that sells expensive clothing?

[Goldielocks]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I am not sure where the latest research is at, but generally, the older you are, after 35, the less recommended hormonal birth control is.  This is lessened if you don't smoke.   

Looking back, helath and issues dealing with periods perimenopause combined with a high stress job is 80% of the reason that I FIRED.  Truly.  I did not realize it until about a year after FIRE.   If a bit of discussion in random locations helps someone to make more money now to FIRE more easily, I say go for it.

[firstmatedavy]

That's the one.

They're a skateboard shop that grew into a big "streetwear" fashion brand, best known for producing expensive and weird "collab" products. Like they'd partner with Willson and make a Supreme volleyball that says Supreme on it and costs $80. I'm pretty sure that's not a real product, but it's the sort of thing they do.

[


Neighbors, though - the guy I rented a room from for a few weeks when I first moved here had two nearly identical BMWs in his garage, in addition to the civic that he drove on week days. In my new neighborhood there's a guy with Supreme stickers on his BMW's windshield - I'm not sure how much those cost, but the brand is famous for overpriced branded products.

I had to go google what Supreme stickers would be.....is that the skateboard company that sells expensive clothing?

[firstmatedavy]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I know that my doctor offered me an tubal/ablation last time that, in theory, would stop my periods permanently.  I currently respond well to the implant, but if that ever changes I'll consider the surgical option.

Sound fancy-pants.  I had tubal years ago, no ablation, and still have all the periods.

Getting medical stuff permanently addressed can also be a hedge against the temporary treatment no longer being covered by insurance, or being banned in the future.

(Or the peace of mind of knowing it's done with, or for this specific case, never having to deal with IUD replacement again - it's definitely not comfortable and some people have chronic pain in that area.)

[Threshkin]

Are they orange or black?

[Just Joe]

I loved my basic civic (2010) - but like if you are willing to spend $800 on a car, why not get a better car? IDK this seems crazy.

In my part of the country that's a comfortable house payment.

You can sleep in a car but you can't drive a house!

Oh yeah??!?!?!  ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3iC9CDlaV8

[Imma]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I know that my doctor offered me an tubal/ablation last time that, in theory, would stop my periods permanently.  I currently respond well to the implant, but if that ever changes I'll consider the surgical option.

Sound fancy-pants.  I had tubal years ago, no ablation, and still have all the periods.

Getting medical stuff permanently addressed can also be a hedge against the temporary treatment no longer being covered by insurance, or being banned in the future.

(Or the peace of mind of knowing it's done with, or for this specific case, never having to deal with IUD replacement again - it's definitely not comfortable and some people have chronic pain in that area.)

In theory it is but most doctors refuse to perform it on women with children under 40 and childless women regardless of age so it's not really a practical option for most.

[Goldielocks]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I know that my doctor offered me an tubal/ablation last time that, in theory, would stop my periods permanently.  I currently respond well to the implant, but if that ever changes I'll consider the surgical option.

Sound fancy-pants.  I had tubal years ago, no ablation, and still have all the periods.

Getting medical stuff permanently addressed can also be a hedge against the temporary treatment no longer being covered by insurance, or being banned in the future.

(Or the peace of mind of knowing it's done with, or for this specific case, never having to deal with IUD replacement again - it's definitely not comfortable and some people have chronic pain in that area.)

In theory it is but most doctors refuse to perform it on women with children under 40 and childless women regardless of age so it's not really a practical option for most.

Depends on your region?   I got it done when I was 31.  A friend was refused (childless) at age 26.

[ixtap]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I know that my doctor offered me an tubal/ablation last time that, in theory, would stop my periods permanently.  I currently respond well to the implant, but if that ever changes I'll consider the surgical option.

Sound fancy-pants.  I had tubal years ago, no ablation, and still have all the periods.

Getting medical stuff permanently addressed can also be a hedge against the temporary treatment no longer being covered by insurance, or being banned in the future.

(Or the peace of mind of knowing it's done with, or for this specific case, never having to deal with IUD replacement again - it's definitely not comfortable and some people have chronic pain in that area.)

In theory it is but most doctors refuse to perform it on women with children under 40 and childless women regardless of age so it's not really a practical option for most.

Depends on your region?   I got it done when I was 31.  A friend was refused (childless) at age 26.

It depends on your doctor.

[Imma]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I know that my doctor offered me an tubal/ablation last time that, in theory, would stop my periods permanently.  I currently respond well to the implant, but if that ever changes I'll consider the surgical option.

Sound fancy-pants.  I had tubal years ago, no ablation, and still have all the periods.

Getting medical stuff permanently addressed can also be a hedge against the temporary treatment no longer being covered by insurance, or being banned in the future.

(Or the peace of mind of knowing it's done with, or for this specific case, never having to deal with IUD replacement again - it's definitely not comfortable and some people have chronic pain in that area.)

In theory it is but most doctors refuse to perform it on women with children under 40 and childless women regardless of age so it's not really a practical option for most.

Depends on your region?   I got it done when I was 31.  A friend was refused (childless) at age 26.

It depends on your doctor.

It probably depends on location and the individual doctors, but there are official best practice guidelines and in my country I know they state that best practice generally means no sterilisation under 30 at all, for childless women and/or single women and a lot of doctors are even more careful than those guidelines.

Of course those are only guidelines and doctors can make their own choices but when you don't follow guidelines you could be liable for medical malpractice in the future. I have several female friends who have tried to get sterilized but none have succeeded yet. So they instead sent their husbands to the doctor and they got a vasectomy really easily.

One of my friends in particular has 3 kids and has a medical condition where a future pregnancy will likely be life threatening. She wasn't able to get a sterilisation based on the argument that maybe years from now new treatment would be invented that would allow her to get pregnant again. They don't want more kids even if a medical breakthrough would happen....

[Kris]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I know that my doctor offered me an tubal/ablation last time that, in theory, would stop my periods permanently.  I currently respond well to the implant, but if that ever changes I'll consider the surgical option.

Sound fancy-pants.  I had tubal years ago, no ablation, and still have all the periods.

Getting medical stuff permanently addressed can also be a hedge against the temporary treatment no longer being covered by insurance, or being banned in the future.

(Or the peace of mind of knowing it's done with, or for this specific case, never having to deal with IUD replacement again - it's definitely not comfortable and some people have chronic pain in that area.)

In theory it is but most doctors refuse to perform it on women with children under 40 and childless women regardless of age so it's not really a practical option for most.

Depends on your region?   I got it done when I was 31.  A friend was refused (childless) at age 26.

It depends on your doctor.

It probably depends on location and the individual doctors, but there are official best practice guidelines and in my country I know they state that best practice generally means no sterilisation under 30 at all, for childless women and/or single women and a lot of doctors are even more careful than those guidelines.

Of course those are only guidelines and doctors can make their own choices but when you don't follow guidelines you could be liable for medical malpractice in the future. I have several female friends who have tried to get sterilized but none have succeeded yet. So they instead sent their husbands to the doctor and they got a vasectomy really easily.

One of my friends in particular has 3 kids and has a medical condition where a future pregnancy will likely be life threatening. She wasn't able to get a sterilisation based on the argument that maybe years from now new treatment would be invented that would allow her to get pregnant again. They don't want more kids even if a medical breakthrough would happen....

I wouldn’t be so enraged about stuff like this if they said “best practices” means no sterilization for anyone under 30 no matter the gender.

But of course, that would be crazy...

[Imma]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I know that my doctor offered me an tubal/ablation last time that, in theory, would stop my periods permanently.  I currently respond well to the implant, but if that ever changes I'll consider the surgical option.

Sound fancy-pants.  I had tubal years ago, no ablation, and still have all the periods.

Getting medical stuff permanently addressed can also be a hedge against the temporary treatment no longer being covered by insurance, or being banned in the future.

(Or the peace of mind of knowing it's done with, or for this specific case, never having to deal with IUD replacement again - it's definitely not comfortable and some people have chronic pain in that area.)

In theory it is but most doctors refuse to perform it on women with children under 40 and childless women regardless of age so it's not really a practical option for most.

Depends on your region?   I got it done when I was 31.  A friend was refused (childless) at age 26.

It depends on your doctor.

It probably depends on location and the individual doctors, but there are official best practice guidelines and in my country I know they state that best practice generally means no sterilisation under 30 at all, for childless women and/or single women and a lot of doctors are even more careful than those guidelines.

Of course those are only guidelines and doctors can make their own choices but when you don't follow guidelines you could be liable for medical malpractice in the future. I have several female friends who have tried to get sterilized but none have succeeded yet. So they instead sent their husbands to the doctor and they got a vasectomy really easily.

One of my friends in particular has 3 kids and has a medical condition where a future pregnancy will likely be life threatening. She wasn't able to get a sterilisation based on the argument that maybe years from now new treatment would be invented that would allow her to get pregnant again. They don't want more kids even if a medical breakthrough would happen....

I wouldn’t be so enraged about stuff like this said “best practices” means no sterilization for anyone under 30 no matter the gender.

But of course, that would be crazy...

You can imagine how my friend's story ends.
Because she wasn't able to get a sterilisation, she sent her husband to the doctor. The doctor asked how many kids he had, was he sure about the procedure, was he confident he didn't just want more kids from this relationship but no more kids at all? Yes? Ok, what about next week? He was out of the door with an appointment in 10 minutes.

Now, those are useful questions, sterilisation is serious business, but I also get so pissed off that women are treated like they don't have brains. I'm sure some people regret sterilisation (male and female) just like some people regret having kids (make and female) and it makes sense for a doctor to ask questions, especially when someone is young, but that goes for both genders. I have never heard a man say he was refused a sterilisation.

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

The number of pads and tampons increase dramatically in the last few years, however!

Out of curiosity, could you potentially do the perma-birth control method there where periods are skipped entirely, or would that cause issues at that point?

I know that my doctor offered me an tubal/ablation last time that, in theory, would stop my periods permanently.  I currently respond well to the implant, but if that ever changes I'll consider the surgical option.

Sound fancy-pants.  I had tubal years ago, no ablation, and still have all the periods.

Getting medical stuff permanently addressed can also be a hedge against the temporary treatment no longer being covered by insurance, or being banned in the future.

(Or the peace of mind of knowing it's done with, or for this specific case, never having to deal with IUD replacement again - it's definitely not comfortable and some people have chronic pain in that area.)

In theory it is but most doctors refuse to perform it on women with children under 40 and childless women regardless of age so it's not really a practical option for most.

Depends on your region?   I got it done when I was 31.  A friend was refused (childless) at age 26.

It depends on your doctor.

It probably depends on location and the individual doctors, but there are official best practice guidelines and in my country I know they state that best practice generally means no sterilisation under 30 at all, for childless women and/or single women and a lot of doctors are even more careful than those guidelines.

Of course those are only guidelines and doctors can make their own choices but when you don't follow guidelines you could be liable for medical malpractice in the future. I have several female friends who have tried to get sterilized but none have succeeded yet. So they instead sent their husbands to the doctor and they got a vasectomy really easily.

One of my friends in particular has 3 kids and has a medical condition where a future pregnancy will likely be life threatening. She wasn't able to get a sterilisation based on the argument that maybe years from now new treatment would be invented that would allow her to get pregnant again. They don't want more kids even if a medical breakthrough would happen....

I wouldn’t be so enraged about stuff like this said “best practices” means no sterilization for anyone under 30 no matter the gender.

But of course, that would be crazy...

You can imagine how my friend's story ends.
Because she wasn't able to get a sterilisation, she sent her husband to the doctor. The doctor asked how many kids he had, was he sure about the procedure, was he confident he didn't just want more kids from this relationship but no more kids at all? Yes? Ok, what about next week? He was out of the door with an appointment in 10 minutes.

Now, those are useful questions, sterilisation is serious business, but I also get so pissed off that women are treated like they don't have brains. I'm sure some people regret sterilisation (male and female) just like some people regret having kids (make and female) and it makes sense for a doctor to ask questions, especially when someone is young, but that goes for both genders. I have never heard a man say he was refused a sterilisation.

You're neglecting the fact that female steralisation is major abdominal surgery. Male steralisation is day surgery, you don't even have to have a general anesthetic. Doctors are rightly opposed to people signing up for major surgery with all of the risks associated unless there is a very good reason - and not wanting children is not a good reason until other avenues of accomplishing this have been exhausted. Bear in mind that the abdomen is the most risky place for surgery - there are multiple structures, sources of infection inside as well as out, and stuff in there MOVES on the operating table. Think all the risks of any surgery plus extreme infection risk, adhesions, long recovery etc. 

[Sandi_k]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

Still a general, still an overnight stay, and still an invasive surgical procedure in the abdomen. You get a small infection from this you are in a VERY different place from a man who gets a small infection from a vasectomy. People treat this stuff like it's no drama because we generally don't kill people in surgery anymore. However, that doesn't reflect the recovery and issues in recovery at all. Abdominal surgery is a big deal.

[Goldielocks]

No overnight stay.   In at 7am, out at 2pm.  I came in by myself, but I think I had to have someone pick me up.

[Imma]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

Still a general, still an overnight stay, and still an invasive surgical procedure in the abdomen. You get a small infection from this you are in a VERY different place from a man who gets a small infection from a vasectomy. People treat this stuff like it's no drama because we generally don't kill people in surgery anymore. However, that doesn't reflect the recovery and issues in recovery at all. Abdominal surgery is a big deal.

I've been told it's possible to combine this with a C-section, so that would require no extra abdominal surgery in many cases.

Of course surgery is always something to be careful about, but I don't think sterilization of the male partner is something that can ever replace sterilization of the female herself - if the woman is the one who doesn't want or medically shouldn't go through pregnancy she should have the option for permanent anticonception, not the male she is currently with.

I just checked the official guidelines in my country and they state that there is no randomized study available that compares the safety of female sterilization to other methods of birth control, that sterilization is generally safe and the general anesthetic is the biggest risk factor.

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

Still a general, still an overnight stay, and still an invasive surgical procedure in the abdomen. You get a small infection from this you are in a VERY different place from a man who gets a small infection from a vasectomy. People treat this stuff like it's no drama because we generally don't kill people in surgery anymore. However, that doesn't reflect the recovery and issues in recovery at all. Abdominal surgery is a big deal.

I've been told it's possible to combine this with a C-section, so that would require no extra abdominal surgery in many cases.

Of course surgery is always something to be careful about, but I don't think sterilization of the male partner is something that can ever replace sterilization of the female herself - if the woman is the one who doesn't want or medically shouldn't go through pregnancy she should have the option for permanent anticonception, not the male she is currently with.

I just checked the official guidelines in my country and they state that there is no randomized study available that compares the safety of female sterilization to other methods of birth control, that sterilization is generally safe and the general anesthetic is the biggest risk factor.

A C section is MASSIVE surgery. You could combine anything with it. Hell, lop a leg off and it's not that much more serious! It wasn't that long ago that C sections killed 100% of patients. Even today, although obviously the survival rate is nearly 100%, the post op is not a lot of fun for many people. Infections are common, scarring and strictures are common, internal adhesions that cause ongoing pain are very common, hormonal issues can be common depending on the surgery. None of this stuff is walk in/walk out, regardless of anecdotal cases.

Surgical sterilisation IS generally safe. The surgical issues are rare. The post op recovery issues are not. Which do you think hospitals use to let you know the safety of their procedures?

Chemical sterilisation of women is an option that men don't have. That's the point you seem to be willingly missing. You can have an subdermal implant, you can take a pill, half a dozen other options. I'm not even including shitty options like IUDs. Any of those is ALWAYS preferable to surgery. Of course the option to get pregnant or not should be in the hands of women. No one is disagreeing with that. But there better be a damn good reason why you would subject a patient to that risk when there are other very good options available. And if surgery comes down to being the only realistic option, let's see if the male partner will take one for the team first. Women don't have to have surgery to manage birth control. So why the hell would you? (Not including particular medical issues that really do make surgery the best option)

[Wrenchturner]

I loved my basic civic (2010) - but like if you are willing to spend $800 on a car, why not get a better car? IDK this seems crazy.

In my part of the country that's a comfortable house payment.

You can sleep in a car but you can't drive a house!

Oh yeah??!?!?!  ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3iC9CDlaV8

Lol that's awesome.  I appreciate that he's also building a lightweight racing shed as well.

[kenner]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

Still a general, still an overnight stay, and still an invasive surgical procedure in the abdomen. You get a small infection from this you are in a VERY different place from a man who gets a small infection from a vasectomy. People treat this stuff like it's no drama because we generally don't kill people in surgery anymore. However, that doesn't reflect the recovery and issues in recovery at all. Abdominal surgery is a big deal.

And yet 'abdominal surgery is a big deal' is NOT what you hear from doctors (at least it's not what I heard, and it sounds like my experience hasn't been unique).  Instead it's  'But maybe you'll want a baby later' or 'But what if you marry someone who wants kids?'.  Because obviously as a woman I can't be trusted to know my own mind.

If the issue is the extent of the surgery, fine.  Make the discussion about that.  Stop the bullshit reasoning that means that doctors don't even take the request from women seriously.

[ixtap]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

Still a general, still an overnight stay, and still an invasive surgical procedure in the abdomen. You get a small infection from this you are in a VERY different place from a man who gets a small infection from a vasectomy. People treat this stuff like it's no drama because we generally don't kill people in surgery anymore. However, that doesn't reflect the recovery and issues in recovery at all. Abdominal surgery is a big deal.

And yet 'abdominal surgery is a big deal' is NOT what you hear from doctors (at least it's not what I heard, and it sounds like my experience hasn't been unique).  Instead it's  'But maybe you'll want a baby later' or 'But what if you marry someone who wants kids?'.  Because obviously as a woman I can't be trusted to know my own mind.

If the issue is the extent of the surgery, fine.  Make the discussion about that.  Stop the bullshit reasoning that means that doctors don't even take the request from women seriously.

These days, they tend to do tubal implants, which do not require general anesthesia and is an out patient procedure. This is what I was asking about in my late 30s when I got a lot of hemming and hawing.

[Kris]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

Still a general, still an overnight stay, and still an invasive surgical procedure in the abdomen. You get a small infection from this you are in a VERY different place from a man who gets a small infection from a vasectomy. People treat this stuff like it's no drama because we generally don't kill people in surgery anymore. However, that doesn't reflect the recovery and issues in recovery at all. Abdominal surgery is a big deal.

And yet 'abdominal surgery is a big deal' is NOT what you hear from doctors (at least it's not what I heard, and it sounds like my experience hasn't been unique).  Instead it's  'But maybe you'll want a baby later' or 'But what if you marry someone who wants kids?'.  Because obviously as a woman I can't be trusted to know my own mind.

If the issue is the extent of the surgery, fine.  Make the discussion about that.  Stop the bullshit reasoning that means that doctors don't even take the request from women seriously.

These days, they tend to do tubal implants, which do not require general anesthesia and is an out patient procedure. This is what I was asking about in my late 30s when I got a lot of hemming and hawing.

I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy in my early forties. The conversation with the doctor only moved forward toward him being open to scheduling the procedure after I told him my husband had already had a vasectomy.

[Raenia]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

Still a general, still an overnight stay, and still an invasive surgical procedure in the abdomen. You get a small infection from this you are in a VERY different place from a man who gets a small infection from a vasectomy. People treat this stuff like it's no drama because we generally don't kill people in surgery anymore. However, that doesn't reflect the recovery and issues in recovery at all. Abdominal surgery is a big deal.

And yet 'abdominal surgery is a big deal' is NOT what you hear from doctors (at least it's not what I heard, and it sounds like my experience hasn't been unique).  Instead it's  'But maybe you'll want a baby later' or 'But what if you marry someone who wants kids?'.  Because obviously as a woman I can't be trusted to know my own mind.

If the issue is the extent of the surgery, fine.  Make the discussion about that.  Stop the bullshit reasoning that means that doctors don't even take the request from women seriously.

These days, they tend to do tubal implants, which do not require general anesthesia and is an out patient procedure. This is what I was asking about in my late 30s when I got a lot of hemming and hawing.

Even when there's a solid medical reason to do the hysterectemy, doctors still often refuse because babies.  My coworker is 35 with severe PCOS, and has asked multiple times to have her ovaries removed, as it currently causes her a lot of pain.  The cysts are large enough that it's unlikely she'd even be able to get pregnant if she wanted to, and still the doctors insist "what if you change your mind?"  She's an adult, she's not in a relationship, she doesn't want a relationship, she doesn't ever want children, and probably couldn't have them if she wanted them, and still they won't do it.

[trashtalk]

We are in California. When I went to a doctor for a consult on a tubal ligation, I asked if my husband needed to sign something before I got it done. The doctor laughed and was like "Hell no. What's your husband got to do with it?" I thought that was pleasantly liberated.

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

^^^^ Only if it's done as a hysterectomy. Snipping the Fallopian tubes is done via laparoscopy.

Still a general, still an overnight stay, and still an invasive surgical procedure in the abdomen. You get a small infection from this you are in a VERY different place from a man who gets a small infection from a vasectomy. People treat this stuff like it's no drama because we generally don't kill people in surgery anymore. However, that doesn't reflect the recovery and issues in recovery at all. Abdominal surgery is a big deal.

And yet 'abdominal surgery is a big deal' is NOT what you hear from doctors (at least it's not what I heard, and it sounds like my experience hasn't been unique).  Instead it's  'But maybe you'll want a baby later' or 'But what if you marry someone who wants kids?'.  Because obviously as a woman I can't be trusted to know my own mind.

If the issue is the extent of the surgery, fine.  Make the discussion about that.  Stop the bullshit reasoning that means that doctors don't even take the request from women seriously.

These days, they tend to do tubal implants, which do not require general anesthesia and is an out patient procedure. This is what I was asking about in my late 30s when I got a lot of hemming and hawing.

Even when there's a solid medical reason to do the hysterectemy, doctors still often refuse because babies.  My coworker is 35 with severe PCOS, and has asked multiple times to have her ovaries removed, as it currently causes her a lot of pain.  The cysts are large enough that it's unlikely she'd even be able to get pregnant if she wanted to, and still the doctors insist "what if you change your mind?"  She's an adult, she's not in a relationship, she doesn't want a relationship, she doesn't ever want children, and probably couldn't have them if she wanted them, and still they won't do it.

Sigh. That doctor sounds like an idiot, because of what they said. The decision itself was right. Removing ovaries brings up all sorts of hormonal issues and various issues related to that like heart disease, stroke, bone density, some cancers etc etc. As well as that, PCOS is a manageable condition that can change really significantly over time. There are absolutely women with PCOS who had ovaries removed at 30 and regretted that at 35. And not always because of babies. There are absolutely women who have enormous issues with PCOS in their 20s but it's far more settled in their 30s. Or vice versa. Your friend probably needs to be referred to a specialist so she can be better managed without surgery. No one should have to live in pain.

[Monerexia]

I keep clicking the updates hoping to find something here that someone overheard at work.