Author Topic: Overheard at Work 2  (Read 630372 times)

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7364
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1500 on: September 03, 2019, 02:11:45 PM »
At a recent company-sponsored lunch with coworkers, the topic of our pay frequency popped up. We are salaried and get paid once per month, on the 1st of the month. We are essentially paid in advance for the entire upcoming month. Many of my coworkers do not like this setup and wish we were paid more frequently, which is absolutely mind boggling to me. Their reasoning? It would be easier to stretch the money out if they received it in chunks throughout the month. We are literally receiving an entire month's salary up front before doing a minute of work - just learn to budget better!

Are you positive about that?

Because the usual way to do it is to pay for the prior month's work, not the next month's work.

If you quit on the 5th of the month and they owe you money, you're being paid for last month.  If you owe them money, you're being paid for next month.

Frankly, only a moron of an employer would volunteer to pay people before they did the work.

partgypsy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4195
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1501 on: September 03, 2019, 02:14:56 PM »
That is correct. Try to remember way back when, starting the job, having to wait for that first paycheck.

dragoncar

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 9358
  • Registered member
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1502 on: September 03, 2019, 03:35:40 PM »
That is correct. Try to remember way back when, starting the job, having to wait for that first paycheck.

If unsure the paycheck will tell you which dates it is covering.  I agree itís far more common to be paid 1-2 weeks AFTER the pay period ends (eg you get paid for weeks 1-2 on Friday of week 3) but Iím sure there are rare employees out there that will front the cash

Jim Fiction

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 204
  • Location: Connecticut
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1503 on: September 04, 2019, 07:20:10 AM »
At a recent company-sponsored lunch with coworkers, the topic of our pay frequency popped up. We are salaried and get paid once per month, on the 1st of the month. We are essentially paid in advance for the entire upcoming month. Many of my coworkers do not like this setup and wish we were paid more frequently, which is absolutely mind boggling to me. Their reasoning? It would be easier to stretch the money out if they received it in chunks throughout the month. We are literally receiving an entire month's salary up front before doing a minute of work - just learn to budget better!

Are you positive about that?

Because the usual way to do it is to pay for the prior month's work, not the next month's work.

If you quit on the 5th of the month and they owe you money, you're being paid for last month.  If you owe them money, you're being paid for next month.

Frankly, only a moron of an employer would volunteer to pay people before they did the work.

100% positive. I hadn't heard of anything like it before. Making things even odder is that throughout the recruitment process the payroll period mentioned was once a month on the 15th, it was even the stated date in the terms of my offer letter. But when I started my boss let me know that was inaccurate and my pay date was actually the 1st.

I've only been with the company for a year - I started last August on the last Monday of the month. When I was paid the first week of September, I unexpectedly received two checks. One for a week's pay in August  and the other for the entire month of September. I fully assumed to get August's pay in September and September's pay in October, so I was pleasantly surprised to receive the second check. So surprised that I actually I asked about it to make sure it was correct and was told that it was the norm. It is just how the company's pay periods are structured.

Those coworkers opposed did acknowledge the fact they were getting paid up front, but in spite of this still wanted more frequent paychecks for the aforementioned rationale.

That is correct. Try to remember way back when, starting the job, having to wait for that first paycheck.

That was fully my assumption when I first started, but as mentioned in my reply to SwordGuy turned out to not be the case.

That is correct. Try to remember way back when, starting the job, having to wait for that first paycheck.

If unsure the paycheck will tell you which dates it is covering.  I agree itís far more common to be paid 1-2 weeks AFTER the pay period ends (eg you get paid for weeks 1-2 on Friday of week 3) but Iím sure there are rare employees out there that will front the cash

Yup. Logged on to our payroll provider check my most recent paystub:

Period Beginning: 9/01/2019
Period Ending: 09/30/2019
Pay Date: 09/03/2019*

*Was actually posted to my accounts on 8/31.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2019, 07:22:55 AM by Jim Fiction »

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7364
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1504 on: September 04, 2019, 07:29:16 AM »
At a recent company-sponsored lunch with coworkers, the topic of our pay frequency popped up. We are salaried and get paid once per month, on the 1st of the month. We are essentially paid in advance for the entire upcoming month. Many of my coworkers do not like this setup and wish we were paid more frequently, which is absolutely mind boggling to me. Their reasoning? It would be easier to stretch the money out if they received it in chunks throughout the month. We are literally receiving an entire month's salary up front before doing a minute of work - just learn to budget better!

Are you positive about that?

Because the usual way to do it is to pay for the prior month's work, not the next month's work.

If you quit on the 5th of the month and they owe you money, you're being paid for last month.  If you owe them money, you're being paid for next month.

Frankly, only a moron of an employer would volunteer to pay people before they did the work.

100% positive. I hadn't heard of anything like it before. Making things even odder is that throughout the recruitment process the payroll period mentioned was once a month on the 15th, it was even the stated date in the terms of my offer letter. But when I started my boss let me know that was inaccurate and my pay date was actually the 1st.

I've only been with the company for a year - I started last August on the last Monday of the month. When I was paid the first week of September, I unexpectedly received two checks. One for a week's pay in August  and the other for the entire month of September. I fully assumed to get August's pay in September and September's pay in October, so I was pleasantly surprised to receive the second check. So surprised that I actually I asked about it to make sure it was correct and was told that it was the norm. It is just how the company's pay periods are structured.

Those coworkers opposed did acknowledge the fact they were getting paid up front, but in spite of this still wanted more frequent paychecks for the aforementioned rationale.

That is correct. Try to remember way back when, starting the job, having to wait for that first paycheck.

That was fully my assumption when I first started, but as mentioned in my reply to SwordGuy turned out to not be the case.

That is correct. Try to remember way back when, starting the job, having to wait for that first paycheck.

If unsure the paycheck will tell you which dates it is covering.  I agree itís far more common to be paid 1-2 weeks AFTER the pay period ends (eg you get paid for weeks 1-2 on Friday of week 3) but Iím sure there are rare employees out there that will front the cash

Yup. Logged on to our payroll provider check my most recent paystub:

Period Beginning: 9/01/2019
Period Ending: 09/30/2019
Pay Date: 09/03/2019*

*Was actually posted to my accounts on 8/31.

Wow!      Of course, if they are that bad at their finances, they probably can't afford to leave because they would have to pay the boss man back and wait an extra month until the next job paid them.

Maybe boss man is brilliant after all. :)

Linea_Norway

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7051
  • Location: Norway
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1505 on: September 04, 2019, 08:50:39 AM »
Not a worst case, but heard today from a male coworker.
"my wife makes a list of requirement for the new car. I find a car that fits the requirements. My wife has the final word to say yes or no. I found a Subaru, but my wife doesn't want it, because os looks or so. I would rather have continued to drive our old car. "

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6893
  • Location: BC
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1506 on: September 04, 2019, 09:14:12 AM »
Choose a smaller town. Ten minutes out of town and you're in the boonies.

A 90 minute commute would take some folks into the next state... I can't imagine doing that daily - especially morning and night!


I worked with a guy for awhile that had a 90 or so minute commute.  Not only did he cross state lines, he crossed the time line.  He said it was okay in the morning because we're an hour behind his house (and he was on a vanpool that let him sleep on the way to work most days), but that the afternoons were a killer because he wasn't getting home until nearly 7:00 his time.

90 minutes is 3 hours a day, omg. I wonder if people who do that have compared their hourly wages for 8hr days close to home vs 11hr days 90 minutes from home...
90 minute commutes really, really suck.  I know.   My (former) work was only a 35 min drive on sundays, but 90 min because of traffic.  It used to be nly 50 minutes (a tie for transit or car travel in time) when I started.  We chose it because family was within 10 minutes and it was exceptionally hard to find condos with 4 bedrooms (for reasons) closer.

It is one of the reasons that I no longer work (there).  I would rather take a 85% pay cut and work PT/ FIRE from home.

Our place was not way out in the sticks.  Google says that the time to cycle the 20 miles is 1hr 50min.  It is very possible to make good home choices for your family and then get suckered with a bad commute within 10 years.

Just Joe

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4212
  • Age: 125
  • Location: Just past the red barn on the left.
  • Here to learn.
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1507 on: September 04, 2019, 01:21:03 PM »
Choose a smaller town. Ten minutes out of town and you're in the boonies.

A 90 minute commute would take some folks into the next state... I can't imagine doing that daily - especially morning and night!


I worked with a guy for awhile that had a 90 or so minute commute.  Not only did he cross state lines, he crossed the time line.  He said it was okay in the morning because we're an hour behind his house (and he was on a vanpool that let him sleep on the way to work most days), but that the afternoons were a killer because he wasn't getting home until nearly 7:00 his time.

90 minutes is 3 hours a day, omg. I wonder if people who do that have compared their hourly wages for 8hr days close to home vs 11hr days 90 minutes from home...


In this case, he was looking to get closer to "home" and was on the priority placement list.  He's since taken a job that's even closer to where he lives and lets him telework 3 days a week.  But there are still quite a few people that commute that far every day.  The vanpool helps, especially since work pays for it, but ouch.

I talked to a fellow that drove 1000 miles per week to work and back for the past several months... He is young and enthusiastic but even he said there was a limit to how long he'd do that kind of commute.

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8434
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1508 on: September 04, 2019, 01:36:58 PM »
Commuting with your spouse is certainly a step-function improvement over solo. I had the pleasure for a short while early on in our careers and it was great. That uninterrupted time where no one could be on a phone and we had to actually talk to each other was golden. :)

I guess I'm lucky and I actually enjoy my wife's company and conversation.   Or maybe I'm just sensible and didn't marry the ones I didn't enjoy talking too... :)

Had one couple where I last worked that worked the same hours at the same location for the same employer.   Each drove separately in their own gas-guzzling truck.

Some of my colleagues do that and I just... do not understand.

I married this dude because I like being around him. In bed, outside of bed, he's my person, y'know? So I WANT to chat with him, and listen to audiobooks with him, and hash things out to make sure that they get fixed (and honestly, we're WAY better at hashing things out while well-rested at 8am than we ware when exhausted at 10pm - pro tip, only bring up relationship issues when you've got the energy to find a solution!), and talk about what we're in the mood to eat for dinner, and generally... be together.

If I didn't want that, then why be married? What am I missing?
Ah yes, it is so hard.  We never talk anymore.  Two kids, two jobs.  We had kids late so they are a metric ton of work.  And then I'm a lark and he's a night owl.  When we get a chance, we sneak out to have a lunch date on the weekends or SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER at the neighborhood potluck.  Glorious.

ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7108
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • The Best Is Yet To Come
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1509 on: September 04, 2019, 03:12:33 PM »
That sounds very familiar. We added a third to the mess so we are very much two relay runners handing a baton off to the other at the moment. One of the big reasons I look forward to FI so much.

Kitsune

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1853
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1510 on: September 04, 2019, 08:06:10 PM »
Commuting with your spouse is certainly a step-function improvement over solo. I had the pleasure for a short while early on in our careers and it was great. That uninterrupted time where no one could be on a phone and we had to actually talk to each other was golden. :)

I guess I'm lucky and I actually enjoy my wife's company and conversation.   Or maybe I'm just sensible and didn't marry the ones I didn't enjoy talking too... :)

Had one couple where I last worked that worked the same hours at the same location for the same employer.   Each drove separately in their own gas-guzzling truck.

Some of my colleagues do that and I just... do not understand.

I married this dude because I like being around him. In bed, outside of bed, he's my person, y'know? So I WANT to chat with him, and listen to audiobooks with him, and hash things out to make sure that they get fixed (and honestly, we're WAY better at hashing things out while well-rested at 8am than we ware when exhausted at 10pm - pro tip, only bring up relationship issues when you've got the energy to find a solution!), and talk about what we're in the mood to eat for dinner, and generally... be together.

If I didn't want that, then why be married? What am I missing?
Ah yes, it is so hard.  We never talk anymore.  Two kids, two jobs.  We had kids late so they are a metric ton of work.  And then I'm a lark and he's a night owl.  When we get a chance, we sneak out to have a lunch date on the weekends or SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER at the neighborhood potluck.  Glorious.

Yeah, we're also at the 2 (soon 3) kids, 2 jobs juggling act. If we didn't commute together, we might talk to each other (without the kids) for 10 minutes a day. I'll take my time where I find it, and if it's while commuting, then ok!

DeniseNJ

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 411
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1511 on: September 04, 2019, 08:32:45 PM »
That sounds very familiar. We added a third to the mess so we are very much two relay runners handing a baton off to the other at the moment. One of the big reasons I look forward to FI so much.
I thought you meant a third partner!  (Not that there's anything wrong with that. . .)

ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7108
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • The Best Is Yet To Come
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1512 on: September 04, 2019, 10:18:48 PM »
That sounds very familiar. We added a third to the mess so we are very much two relay runners handing a baton off to the other at the moment. One of the big reasons I look forward to FI so much.
I thought you meant a third partner!  (Not that there's anything wrong with that. . .)
Now which would complicate life further: a third kid or a third partner? Hmmm

Kitsune

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1853
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1513 on: September 05, 2019, 06:39:13 AM »
That sounds very familiar. We added a third to the mess so we are very much two relay runners handing a baton off to the other at the moment. One of the big reasons I look forward to FI so much.
I thought you meant a third partner!  (Not that there's anything wrong with that. . .)
Now which would complicate life further: a third kid or a third partner? Hmmm

I have friends who are 3 people raising a kid together, and frankly, that looks like a GREAT adult/kid ratio.

economista

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 790
  • Age: 31
  • Location: Colorado
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1514 on: September 05, 2019, 06:48:52 AM »
Choose a smaller town. Ten minutes out of town and you're in the boonies.

A 90 minute commute would take some folks into the next state... I can't imagine doing that daily - especially morning and night!

This! When I bought my last house it was a 45 minute drive to work, or an hour or so on a really bad day with an accident or snow. A year and a half later (after a ridiculous amount of people moved to this state) it was taking an hour and a half each way minimum, and up to 2+ hours if there was an accident or snow. I sold my house after living there less than 2 years because that drive was insane. Last weekend we went on a road trip and had to drive through the old city. It took me over 2 hours to get to the northern edge of that city and 2.5 to get to the exit I used to get off at to go home. Itís about 4 years since I originally bought that house. Thank the Lord I was financially able to move when things started getting ridiculous

*I also only had to commute into the office 1 or 2 days per week, so the original 45 minute drive wasnít so bad.

I worked with a guy for awhile that had a 90 or so minute commute.  Not only did he cross state lines, he crossed the time line.  He said it was okay in the morning because we're an hour behind his house (and he was on a vanpool that let him sleep on the way to work most days), but that the afternoons were a killer because he wasn't getting home until nearly 7:00 his time.

90 minutes is 3 hours a day, omg. I wonder if people who do that have compared their hourly wages for 8hr days close to home vs 11hr days 90 minutes from home...
90 minute commutes really, really suck.  I know.   My (former) work was only a 35 min drive on sundays, but 90 min because of traffic.  It used to be nly 50 minutes (a tie for transit or car travel in time) when I started.  We chose it because family was within 10 minutes and it was exceptionally hard to find condos with 4 bedrooms (for reasons) closer.

It is one of the reasons that I no longer work (there).  I would rather take a 85% pay cut and work PT/ FIRE from home.

Our place was not way out in the sticks.  Google says that the time to cycle the 20 miles is 1hr 50min.  It is very possible to make good home choices for your family and then get suckered with a bad commute within 10 years.

FireHiker

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1141
  • Location: So Cal
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1515 on: September 05, 2019, 09:54:12 AM »

I married this dude because I like being around him. In bed, outside of bed, he's my person, y'know? So I WANT to chat with him, and listen to audiobooks with him, and hash things out to make sure that they get fixed (and honestly, we're WAY better at hashing things out while well-rested at 8am than we ware when exhausted at 10pm - pro tip, only bring up relationship issues when you've got the energy to find a solution!), and talk about what we're in the mood to eat for dinner, and generally... be together.

If I didn't want that, then why be married? What am I missing?

I totally understand you!! My husband and I work together, walk the kids to and from school together, go to lunch (usually home or errands) almost every day together unless a meeting or exercise class interferes, commute together (all of 1 mile now but we drive so we can run home at lunch to spend more time with the dog most days), because we enjoy one another's company. Also, our primary love language for both of us is quality time.

Oh work. Nothing new specifically overheard recently, just some observed sadness with two co-workers who really need to take some time off for family reasons and can't afford to. It makes me sad and very resolved to not ever be in that position. We are just a couple years away from FI now...feeling more motivated than ever to get there.

insufFIcientfunds

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 103
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1516 on: September 05, 2019, 12:24:38 PM »

I married this dude because I like being around him. In bed, outside of bed, he's my person, y'know? So I WANT to chat with him, and listen to audiobooks with him, and hash things out to make sure that they get fixed (and honestly, we're WAY better at hashing things out while well-rested at 8am than we ware when exhausted at 10pm - pro tip, only bring up relationship issues when you've got the energy to find a solution!), and talk about what we're in the mood to eat for dinner, and generally... be together.

If I didn't want that, then why be married? What am I missing?

I totally understand you!! My husband and I work together, walk the kids to and from school together, go to lunch (usually home or errands) almost every day together unless a meeting or exercise class interferes, commute together (all of 1 mile now but we drive so we can run home at lunch to spend more time with the dog most days), because we enjoy one another's company. Also, our primary love language for both of us is quality time.

Oh work. Nothing new specifically overheard recently, just some observed sadness with two co-workers who really need to take some time off for family reasons and can't afford to. It makes me sad and very resolved to not ever be in that position. We are just a couple years away from FI now...feeling more motivated than ever to get there.

My wife got a job on the base I work at and will be a 5 minute walk from my desk to her (two blocks.) She starts soon. I can't wait until she gets settled. Lots of lunches/walks/IM on the computer, etc. I'm not a helicopter husband and neither is she, but she's great and I could hang out with her all day.

I overhear at work people bitch about their spouse ALL the time. I had a CW say one time "I have never heard you say one bad thing about your wife."

Like why would I?

ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7108
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • The Best Is Yet To Come
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1517 on: September 05, 2019, 12:44:58 PM »
At one point my boss gave me a high five when I described my husband as a better person than me. Like Iím going to say bad things about him at work...

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7364
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1518 on: September 05, 2019, 12:47:16 PM »
At one point my boss gave me a high five when I described my husband as a better person than me. Like Iím going to say bad things about him at work...

Quite a few people do...

Once had a co-worker who commented to me that he had never heard me say even one thing that was not positive about my wife.   Sad that's considered unusual.

techwiz

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1594
  • Location: Ontario
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1519 on: September 05, 2019, 01:26:08 PM »
At a previous job I had a co-worker who's husband would always talk about his wife's appearance in a negative way (fat, ugly etc...). 

In fact she was rather a very good looking woman.... and she was in on the joke since he does this all the time with new people he meets. 

During his office's Christmas party he brings his wife and all his co-workers think he is cheating on his wife and had brought another woman. When he introduces her as his real wife they all give comments on how beautiful she is. 

I guess he got a kick out of seeing all the expressions on everyone faces....

Kitsune

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1853
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1520 on: September 05, 2019, 01:40:31 PM »
At one point my boss gave me a high five when I described my husband as a better person than me. Like Iím going to say bad things about him at work...

Quite a few people do...

Once had a co-worker who commented to me that he had never heard me say even one thing that was not positive about my wife.   Sad that's considered unusual.

If you expect people's conversations about their spouses to reflect the reality of their relationships, listening to lunchroom conversations around here is a reason to stay single.

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8434
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1521 on: September 05, 2019, 01:49:15 PM »
That sounds very familiar. We added a third to the mess so we are very much two relay runners handing a baton off to the other at the moment. One of the big reasons I look forward to FI so much.
Man, school just started a few weeks ago.  Lots of work, lots of homework, and I'm halfway through week 2 of my husband traveling out of town for 3 straight weeks.  I'm usually pretty functional, but on top of all that, my favorite small class gym closed down and I'm feeling a bit isolated.

First night he called this week I just said "I cannot talk to you right now" and hung up.

This morning, on the way to work, an old and sappy song came on my iPod and I literally teared up and had an overwhelming desire to just dig my nose into his chest hair.  But he's gone for 2 more days and is leaving again on Monday.  Sigh.

horsepoor

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3424
  • Location: At the Barn
  • Horses: for sanity & poverty!
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1522 on: September 05, 2019, 02:52:52 PM »
I finally called out a male co-worker the other day (in a semi-jokey way) on how he impersonates his wife at work.  He makes her sound like she's pissed off about everything all the time.  I've met her and can't imagine that she's like that at home.  It will be interesting to see if he keeps it up.  The trope about women being bitchy because they have any type of opinion is just so tiring.

CarlosMontegro

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 636
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1523 on: September 05, 2019, 09:11:05 PM »
I finally called out a male co-worker the other day (in a semi-jokey way) on how he impersonates his wife at work.  He makes her sound like she's pissed off about everything all the time.  I've met her and can't imagine that she's like that at home.  It will be interesting to see if he keeps it up.  The trope about women being bitchy because they have any type of opinion is just so tiring.


You donít have to be a bitch about it

horsepoor

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3424
  • Location: At the Barn
  • Horses: for sanity & poverty!
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1524 on: September 05, 2019, 09:30:14 PM »
You donít have to be a bitch about it

Oh I can't help it with my raging lady hormones and all.

Just Joe

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4212
  • Age: 125
  • Location: Just past the red barn on the left.
  • Here to learn.
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1525 on: September 06, 2019, 01:06:01 PM »
I finally called out a male co-worker the other day (in a semi-jokey way) on how he impersonates his wife at work.  He makes her sound like she's pissed off about everything all the time.  I've met her and can't imagine that she's like that at home.  It will be interesting to see if he keeps it up.  The trope about women being bitchy because they have any type of opinion is just so tiring.

Then there is the other extreme.

DW tells me about a couple where online one spouse gushes about the other. In real life same spouse complains rather than gushes. We know they struggle with their relationship.

Feuding seems like so much work compared to just getting along.

Commuting: DW and I carpool. Love the few minutes we get alone together (short drive). Occasionally also do lunch when one of us isn't pre-occupied with work duties. Our lunch dates can be better than dinner dates. 

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6893
  • Location: BC
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1526 on: September 06, 2019, 03:26:57 PM »
I finally called out a male co-worker the other day (in a semi-jokey way) on how he impersonates his wife at work.  He makes her sound like she's pissed off about everything all the time.  I've met her and can't imagine that she's like that at home.  It will be interesting to see if he keeps it up.  The trope about women being bitchy because they have any type of opinion is just so tiring.

Then there is the other extreme.

DW tells me about a couple where online one spouse gushes about the other. In real life same spouse complains rather than gushes. We know they struggle with their relationship.

Feuding seems like so much work compared to just getting along.

Commuting: DW and I carpool. Love the few minutes we get alone together (short drive). Occasionally also do lunch when one of us isn't pre-occupied with work duties. Our lunch dates can be better than dinner dates.
Very sad... I have noticed that online posts that gush about "the love of my life" ... especially where there wasn't a lot of that for the 2 years previous... tend to prelude a breakup.   

It's like one last hurrah to try to convince yourself that the marriage is good, the spouse is a great person for you, etc.

Trekkiekins

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1527 on: September 06, 2019, 03:32:33 PM »
Last week, one of my coworkers excitedly told me over lunch that she had discovered 401k loans. She asked if I realized that was possible, acting like it was the best news ever. I mean yeah, I did know about 401k loans before then. She went on to tell me what a better deal it was to just pay herself back than pay high interest on her many maxed out credit cards, and how she planned to take another 401k loan in the future to use as a house downpayment since she surely could never save up that much money. I felt bad for her but remembered the many times she has spent ~$20 for lunch multiple times per week and all of the local restaurants and food trucks know her on sight.

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7364
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1528 on: September 06, 2019, 05:16:27 PM »
Last week, one of my coworkers excitedly told me over lunch that she had discovered 401k loans. She asked if I realized that was possible, acting like it was the best news ever. I mean yeah, I did know about 401k loans before then. She went on to tell me what a better deal it was to just pay herself back than pay high interest on her many maxed out credit cards, and how she planned to take another 401k loan in the future to use as a house downpayment since she surely could never save up that much money. I felt bad for her but remembered the many times she has spent ~$20 for lunch multiple times per week and all of the local restaurants and food trucks know her on sight.

And after she quits her job for another one, or gets laid off from this one, you'll hear a tale of woe and misery.  "What?  I have to pay it back right away?   Or pay a huge tax penalty?    How was I to know?!"

Is that what you expect, too?

Imma

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2605
  • Location: Europe
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1529 on: September 07, 2019, 01:43:05 PM »
I finally called out a male co-worker the other day (in a semi-jokey way) on how he impersonates his wife at work.  He makes her sound like she's pissed off about everything all the time.  I've met her and can't imagine that she's like that at home.  It will be interesting to see if he keeps it up.  The trope about women being bitchy because they have any type of opinion is just so tiring.

Then there is the other extreme.

DW tells me about a couple where online one spouse gushes about the other. In real life same spouse complains rather than gushes. We know they struggle with their relationship.

Feuding seems like so much work compared to just getting along.

Commuting: DW and I carpool. Love the few minutes we get alone together (short drive). Occasionally also do lunch when one of us isn't pre-occupied with work duties. Our lunch dates can be better than dinner dates.
Very sad... I have noticed that online posts that gush about "the love of my life" ... especially where there wasn't a lot of that for the 2 years previous... tend to prelude a breakup.   

It's like one last hurrah to try to convince yourself that the marriage is good, the spouse is a great person for you, etc.

I remember being on a short and awkward trip with a couple and they kept fighting all the time, really awkward 'I'm not getting out of the bathroom because I'm mad at you'-type of fights. They hadn't talked to each other irl for at least an hour and then she posted something like 'happy anniversary babe <3 <3 <3 love you forever' and an old, very sloppy romantic picture of them together. I think they broke up within 2 weeks of that trip.

Hula Hoop

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1495
  • Location: Italy
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1530 on: September 07, 2019, 02:33:27 PM »
I agree with that theory about online gushy couples breaking up.  I know at least 3 now divorced couples who used to gush all the time on FB about how great the other spouse was and post photos of their spouse and saying how gorgeous they were.  Couple of months later - divorce. 


LennStar

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2189
  • Location: Germany
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1531 on: September 08, 2019, 08:26:34 AM »
I agree with that theory about online gushy couples breaking up.  I know at least 3 now divorced couples who used to gush all the time on FB about how great the other spouse was and post photos of their spouse and saying how gorgeous they were.  Couple of months later - divorce.

Sometimes I am a cynic.

In such a mode I suspect that behavior is a try to "sell" their partner to someone else so that they have a "he was cheating" reason.

Retire with Wings

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 1
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1532 on: September 09, 2019, 03:39:55 PM »
Guy walks into my office with a delivery, chats up front desk people.

"Just spent too much on a bunch of barbie stuff for my girl - nothing too good for her"

My comment from across the room "I agree - just bought another share of Mattel stock for my girl."

LennStar

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2189
  • Location: Germany
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1533 on: September 09, 2019, 11:09:31 PM »
Wow that was a wonderful dropkick there!
I hope you like your tea saltet.

msministache

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 23
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1534 on: September 14, 2019, 01:38:35 PM »
Posting to follow

J.R. Ewing

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 40
  • Location: Houston, TX
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1535 on: September 18, 2019, 11:18:03 AM »
Just remembered a story from the go-go days of 2007.  A new hire engineer, we'll call her "Wendy", had been with our team since January.  It was August and she was going to take her first week vacation since starting work as a paid adult.  The conversation went a little something like this:

Wendy: "I'm leaving for vacation on Saturday.  Eight days in Paris and Brussels."
Me: "That's fantastic.  I'm a lover of travel too, and ..."
Wendy: "And now that I have a job, I don't have to slum it in economy any more."
Me: "Well just because you're working doesn't..."
Wendy: "We're booked in XYZ hotel too.  Look at the pictures online."
Me: "Wow, that's like a block from the Louvre.  Are those antiques in the room?  Is this a honeymoon or graduation present?"  (Don't remember the exact hotel, but it was like $450 / night.)
Wendy: "No just vacation.  I want to go to London and Oxford in the fall too."

My back of the envelope calculation told me this gal and her friend were taking $4500/person vacations (not including dining, activities, or shopping) right out of college multiple times a year.  With those things it was probably closer to $7000.  I was floored. 

saguaro

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 196
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1536 on: September 18, 2019, 12:03:16 PM »
Last week, one of my coworkers excitedly told me over lunch that she had discovered 401k loans. She asked if I realized that was possible, acting like it was the best news ever. I mean yeah, I did know about 401k loans before then. She went on to tell me what a better deal it was to just pay herself back than pay high interest on her many maxed out credit cards, and how she planned to take another 401k loan in the future to use as a house downpayment since she surely could never save up that much money. I felt bad for her but remembered the many times she has spent ~$20 for lunch multiple times per week and all of the local restaurants and food trucks know her on sight.

And after she quits her job for another one, or gets laid off from this one, you'll hear a tale of woe and misery.  "What?  I have to pay it back right away?   Or pay a huge tax penalty?    How was I to know?!"

Is that what you expect, too?

Yep, had a coworker who took out a loan to buy a car after the last one was totaled and ended up getting laid off with the loans still unpaid.   Took a major hit the following year with the tax penalties and during a major bout of unemployment.   Heard the tale of woe on that one.   

partgypsy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4195
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1537 on: September 18, 2019, 12:58:11 PM »
I agree with that theory about online gushy couples breaking up.  I know at least 3 now divorced couples who used to gush all the time on FB about how great the other spouse was and post photos of their spouse and saying how gorgeous they were.  Couple of months later - divorce.

Sometimes I am a cynic.

In such a mode I suspect that behavior is a try to "sell" their partner to someone else so that they have a "he was cheating" reason.
In my experience it more has to do with those couples being more volatile and often more immature in general. Oooh I love him he is the one for me! to "I can't believe he left the toliet seat/forgot our anniversary!" to "I love him so much" etc. I find those people exhausting. 

economista

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 790
  • Age: 31
  • Location: Colorado
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1538 on: September 19, 2019, 07:36:15 AM »
Just remembered a story from the go-go days of 2007.  A new hire engineer, we'll call her "Wendy", had been with our team since January.  It was August and she was going to take her first week vacation since starting work as a paid adult.  The conversation went a little something like this:

Wendy: "I'm leaving for vacation on Saturday.  Eight days in Paris and Brussels."
Me: "That's fantastic.  I'm a lover of travel too, and ..."
Wendy: "And now that I have a job, I don't have to slum it in economy any more."
Me: "Well just because you're working doesn't..."
Wendy: "We're booked in XYZ hotel too.  Look at the pictures online."
Me: "Wow, that's like a block from the Louvre.  Are those antiques in the room?  Is this a honeymoon or graduation present?"  (Don't remember the exact hotel, but it was like $450 / night.)
Wendy: "No just vacation.  I want to go to London and Oxford in the fall too."
My back of the envelope calculation told me this gal and her friend were taking $4500/person vacations (not including dining, activities, or shopping) right out of college multiple times a year.  With those things it was probably closer to $7000.  I was floored. 

This reminds me of a story that is currently happening, but not with a work colleague. One of my husbandís friends is in his 50s and no where near ready to retire. I have gotten blurbs about his financial situation before and the way he uses credit cards. Anyway - he is currently on a trip to London. He was bragging that since this is his trip of a lifetime across the sea, he bought a roundtrip 1st class ticket for $5000. Not business class, not extra legroom class, full-on first class with the lay down seats. DH and I were commenting that we think we could do the whole trip for the 2 of us (definitely for one of us) for the $5000 he spent on the plane ticket alone. While he is there is doing everything top of the line and posting daily pictures on facebook and itís just insane. He said he took out another credit card for this trip and he chose the Apple Card! And I personally know another one of his cards with associated with Bank of America and no real rewards. I wish he wouldíve mentioned a new card sooner so we could point him in the direction of a travel rewards card that gives him actual bonuses and good cash back instead of this flashy new ďappleĒ credit card. Oh well. At this point (Iím 30) I think I will be retired before he is. We are already in the partially retired situation since we can afford for DH to be a stay at home dad.

Kitsune

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1853
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1539 on: September 19, 2019, 08:32:01 AM »
I agree with that theory about online gushy couples breaking up.  I know at least 3 now divorced couples who used to gush all the time on FB about how great the other spouse was and post photos of their spouse and saying how gorgeous they were.  Couple of months later - divorce.

Sometimes I am a cynic.

In such a mode I suspect that behavior is a try to "sell" their partner to someone else so that they have a "he was cheating" reason.
In my experience it more has to do with those couples being more volatile and often more immature in general. Oooh I love him he is the one for me! to "I can't believe he left the toliet seat/forgot our anniversary!" to "I love him so much" etc. I find those people exhausting.

My husband TOTALLY forgot our anniversary this year. To be fair, I remembered the morning of, so I just made a relatively nice dinner and figured we'd call it even, but then he walked in and was like 'wow, this is nice, what's the occasion', and like... the door was open, I just COULDN'T, so I said 'well, DEAR, it IS our anniversary' and I have never seen a face that was the picture-perfect definition of 'oh shit' before. Hilarious. (There was a lot of laughing at that face, because maaaan...)

Neither of us are big on date-related romantic gestures, though - I mean, I expect (and recieve, and give) love and affection on a daily basis, and also general recognition and appreciation, and joint work and problem-solving and all the stuff that makes this work. My expectations are way higher than 'remembers the anniversary' or 'bought flowers', and they're also less sharable-on-social-media, status-symbol-oriented.

(Swear to god, the most romantic thing he's ever said to me was at 2am, the night all the kids got stomach flu and spewed in arcs over the room, so we'd showered them and tucked them into our bed so we could deal with the biohazard that was their room, and he looked at me, exhausted and grossed out and almost keeling over, and was like 'well, there's no one else I'd want here with me. Thanks for being here'. And that, for me, is a good relationship - if you can find a way to demonstrate affection and appreciation through THAT, we can build something really solid, whereas 'remembering an anniversary' is a google calendar reminder that means eff all to me in the long run.)

ysette9

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7108
  • Location: Bay Area, CA
    • The Best Is Yet To Come
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1540 on: September 19, 2019, 08:59:38 AM »
I agree with that theory about online gushy couples breaking up.  I know at least 3 now divorced couples who used to gush all the time on FB about how great the other spouse was and post photos of their spouse and saying how gorgeous they were.  Couple of months later - divorce.

(Swear to god, the most romantic thing he's ever said to me was at 2am, the night all the kids got stomach flu and spewed in arcs over the room, so we'd showered them and tucked them into our bed so we could deal with the biohazard that was their room, and he looked at me, exhausted and grossed out and almost keeling over, and was like 'well, there's no one else I'd want here with me. Thanks for being here'. And that, for me, is a good relationship - if you can find a way to demonstrate affection and appreciation through THAT, we can build something really solid, whereas 'remembering an anniversary' is a google calendar reminder that means eff all to me in the long run.)
That is beautiful.

More so maybe because we are ankle-deep in similar trenches right now. Thank goodness for wonderful partners.

LennStar

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2189
  • Location: Germany
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1541 on: September 19, 2019, 10:36:59 AM »
(Swear to god, the most romantic thing he's ever said to me was at 2am, the night all the kids got stomach flu and spewed in arcs over the room, so we'd showered them and tucked them into our bed so we could deal with the biohazard that was their room, and he looked at me, exhausted and grossed out and almost keeling over, and was like 'well, there's no one else I'd want here with me. Thanks for being here'. And that, for me, is a good relationship - if you can find a way to demonstrate affection and appreciation through THAT, we can build something really solid, whereas 'remembering an anniversary' is a google calendar reminder that means eff all to me in the long run.)

You might like what I think is the most romatic thing I ever read (well, I am a bibliophile):
https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/437516-you-should-date-a-girl-who-reads-date-a-girl

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6893
  • Location: BC
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1542 on: September 21, 2019, 03:28:25 PM »

(Swear to god, the most romantic thing he's ever said to me was at 2am, the night all the kids got stomach flu and spewed in arcs over the room, so we'd showered them and tucked them into our bed so we could deal with the biohazard that was their room, and he looked at me, exhausted and grossed out and almost keeling over, and was like 'well, there's no one else I'd want here with me. Thanks for being here'. And that, for me, is a good relationship - if you can find a way to demonstrate affection and appreciation through THAT, we can build something really solid,

I think I would find romance in just the word "WE" in the above statement.

partgypsy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4195
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1543 on: September 22, 2019, 05:37:30 PM »
Yeah, but at least in my marriage the not celebrating anniversaries, v day, etc was in addition to not having the regular acts of affection and regard, spending time together either (the last 7 years or so). So those other signifiers became that much more important to me. In retrospect it was silly, as I was focusing on the wrong thing. And getting roses, a nice gift doesn't really mean anything if it has no meaning or heart behind it for the person giving it. Hard lesson to learn.
« Last Edit: September 22, 2019, 05:44:18 PM by partgypsy »

SheWhoWalksAtLunch

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 648
  • Location: Western NC
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1544 on: September 23, 2019, 10:47:45 AM »
(Swear to god, the most romantic thing he's ever said to me was at 2am, the night all the kids got stomach flu and spewed in arcs over the room, so we'd showered them and tucked them into our bed so we could deal with the biohazard that was their room, and he looked at me, exhausted and grossed out and almost keeling over, and was like 'well, there's no one else I'd want here with me. Thanks for being here'. And that, for me, is a good relationship - if you can find a way to demonstrate affection and appreciation through THAT, we can build something really solid, whereas 'remembering an anniversary' is a google calendar reminder that means eff all to me in the long run.)

I met the DH when we were both working Ambulance.  He asked me out after 9 months of seeing me at 2am covered with other people's blood/bodily fluids.  Love that can overlook physical appearance and that leans on mutual support and respect is THE BEST. (That said, the DH and I both clean up pretty good)

Gremlin

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 315
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1545 on: September 23, 2019, 06:48:08 PM »
Just remembered a story from the go-go days of 2007.  A new hire engineer, we'll call her "Wendy", had been with our team since January.  It was August and she was going to take her first week vacation since starting work as a paid adult.  The conversation went a little something like this:

Wendy: "I'm leaving for vacation on Saturday.  Eight days in Paris and Brussels."
Me: "That's fantastic.  I'm a lover of travel too, and ..."
Wendy: "And now that I have a job, I don't have to slum it in economy any more."
Me: "Well just because you're working doesn't..."
Wendy: "We're booked in XYZ hotel too.  Look at the pictures online."
Me: "Wow, that's like a block from the Louvre.  Are those antiques in the room?  Is this a honeymoon or graduation present?"  (Don't remember the exact hotel, but it was like $450 / night.)
Wendy: "No just vacation.  I want to go to London and Oxford in the fall too."
My back of the envelope calculation told me this gal and her friend were taking $4500/person vacations (not including dining, activities, or shopping) right out of college multiple times a year.  With those things it was probably closer to $7000.  I was floored. 

This reminds me of a story that is currently happening, but not with a work colleague. One of my husbandís friends is in his 50s and no where near ready to retire. I have gotten blurbs about his financial situation before and the way he uses credit cards. Anyway - he is currently on a trip to London. He was bragging that since this is his trip of a lifetime across the sea, he bought a roundtrip 1st class ticket for $5000. Not business class, not extra legroom class, full-on first class with the lay down seats. DH and I were commenting that we think we could do the whole trip for the 2 of us (definitely for one of us) for the $5000 he spent on the plane ticket alone. While he is there is doing everything top of the line and posting daily pictures on facebook and itís just insane. He said he took out another credit card for this trip and he chose the Apple Card! And I personally know another one of his cards with associated with Bank of America and no real rewards. I wish he wouldíve mentioned a new card sooner so we could point him in the direction of a travel rewards card that gives him actual bonuses and good cash back instead of this flashy new ďappleĒ credit card. Oh well. At this point (Iím 30) I think I will be retired before he is. We are already in the partially retired situation since we can afford for DH to be a stay at home dad.

I previously had a boss who once came out with the following gem...

"It's simply not possible to take the family on holiday to South Africa for less than $100,000."

cloudsail

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 553
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1546 on: September 24, 2019, 01:36:04 AM »
Ouch. For just one person, I could pretty easily come up the points for a round trip first class ticket to London with probably just a couple credit card sign ups.

flipboard

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 291
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1547 on: September 24, 2019, 12:16:46 PM »
Ouch. For just one person, I could pretty easily come up the points for a round trip first class ticket to London with probably just a couple credit card sign ups.
Good luck finding availability. (Even then, how many options are there for real first class between London and the USA? BA is probably the only direct one with a first class cabin and their first class is barely worth of being called such.)

mm1970

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8434
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1548 on: September 24, 2019, 02:15:39 PM »
Ouch. For just one person, I could pretty easily come up the points for a round trip first class ticket to London with probably just a couple credit card sign ups.
Good luck finding availability. (Even then, how many options are there for real first class between London and the USA? BA is probably the only direct one with a first class cabin and their first class is barely worth of being called such.)
I dunno, a friend of mine's 16 yo daughter did a summer camp/ program at Oxford a few years ago.  She flew there first class.  I saw the pictures.  Man.  Like a little cubby with a bed in it.  Couldn't quite believe it.

cloudsail

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 553
Re: Overheard at Work 2
« Reply #1549 on: September 24, 2019, 03:55:43 PM »
True, many airlines have gotten rid of first class by now. The business class options now are like what first class was back in the day. So I don't really see the need for "real" first class. In long haul business class you still get the lie flat seats, and many planes now have very private pods in business.