Author Topic: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it  (Read 16421 times)

kander

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overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« on: February 10, 2015, 02:58:15 AM »
I'm a SAHM so I can't tell anything about co-workers that are anti-mustachian, but I can talk about other parents whaha :P

Last week I went for a walk with another mother, and she wanted to feed the ducks with our two sons. So she bought a bread and gave that to the ducks. She said: bead costs nothing, so it's no big deal!! And all I could think was: maybe not if you do it one time, but I could see it wasn't the first time she did this.

Ok, maybe not as epic as I had it in mind, but maybe some-one else wants to share their epic stories? whaha ;)

Flyingkea

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2015, 03:41:11 AM »
Those poor ducks. Eating bread is actually quite harmful to them, these days I often see signs saying not to feed the ducks. I think its because its quite nutritionally empty.
As another SAHM I shall keep my eyes open. But most of the mums I see seem to have their heads screwed on right.

11ducks

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2015, 04:15:21 AM »
Not exactly at the playground, but I have a friend who has 3 kids (youngest is friends with little duck). She is currently unemployed, seeking work, always complaining about having no money. We met with the kids for lunch at a local sushi place- I know it's a bit expensive so made sure little duck and I weren't starving and had water bottled with us (I spent about $15 between us, we got 2 rolls each). Friend let her two older kids each bring a friend, and each kid had 4-5 plates (incl the really costly ones) a big soft-drink, some had dessert etc- her bill came to $118! It wasn't even a special occasion (just a holiday catchup). The dissonance just blows me away, not understanding the connection between struggling for money and choices like this....

kander

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2015, 05:06:32 AM »
Those poor ducks. Eating bread is actually quite harmful to them, these days I often see signs saying not to feed the ducks. I think its because its quite nutritionally empty.
As another SAHM I shall keep my eyes open. But most of the mums I see seem to have their heads screwed on right.

Same here, but I think as a SAHM we perhaps have more contacts with SAMH then with working mothers. And as a SAHM you just need to have your head screwed on right ;) Because al prices in our society this days are based on double income.


Neustache

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2015, 05:53:31 AM »
Most of my SAHM friends are very, very conservative with their finances. Even if some of them behave in ways that are not super frugal, deep down they know what they should be doing and are attempting it, even if they fail a bit. 

But....we are talking solidly middle class families.  I think if I hung around people with upper levels of income, I'd roll my eyes a bit at their spendy ways.



Apples

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2015, 08:19:35 AM »
My cousin is a SAHM because she's quit her last job; but she's going through a divorce and not actively looking for another.  She moved in for 4 months with my husband and I as we wanted to help her through the transition of finding another job and apartment to live in.  Now we're at 6 months and she's been at my parents' house for 2 months and quit the one job she had started.  So she literally has $0 + whatever her mom sends her a check for every now and then.

She buys organic squeeze-pack yogurts for her toddler.  I didn't even know these things existed.  I think the squeeze pack feature might be helpful with a toddler, but SERIOUSLY she's spending other people's money and complains that jobs just don't pay enough to make it in this world.

MgoSam

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2015, 09:42:55 AM »
I didn't know about feeding bread to ducks to be wrong, and had I known, I likely wouldn't have done so as a child, but I will say that my memories of walking to the pond with my dad, hand in hand, to feed ducks bread is among the happiest childhood memories I have. My father was on the road for much of my life until about now and these were the few moments where I had his full attention and as it was before cellphones (or smartphones) we spent many mornings feeding them bread.

greaper007

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2015, 09:50:25 AM »
Beyond being bad for the ducks, the bread contributes to algae blooms in bodies of water.    Contrary to popular belief, much of the pollution that existed before agencies like the EPA were created came not from chemicals, but from excess waste being poured directly into waterways.    The waste created excessive amounts of algae that knocked the eco-system out of wack.    Thus other creatures that lived in the waterways couldn't survive.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2015, 09:58:45 AM by greaper007 »

kander

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2015, 12:12:32 PM »
Someone asked what she should use for blanket to wrap a baby in after the birth. An other mother told her to buy this one: http://www.koeka.com/nl-nl/product/0309/shop-online/verzorging/1015--10-011/color-260--260/wikkelcape-wafel-antwerp.aspx for 35 (=$40)

Am I crazy or is this really expensive for a blanket?!?

danny9m

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2015, 08:15:17 PM »
Why are you writing about this.?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

RogueSqPewPew

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2015, 03:17:44 PM »
Why are you writing about this.?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

As a way to share her experience and generate conversation?  Why do you ask?

Sibley

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2015, 08:10:44 AM »
Someone asked what she should use for blanket to wrap a baby in after the birth. An other mother told her to buy this one: http://www.koeka.com/nl-nl/product/0309/shop-online/verzorging/1015--10-011/color-260--260/wikkelcape-wafel-antwerp.aspx for 35 (=$40)

Am I crazy or is this really expensive for a blanket?!?

No, you're not crazy and yes, that's really expensive. Especially since that blanket will be spit up on, thrown up on, pee'd and pooped on, and who knows what else.

kander

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2015, 05:13:37 AM »
Today I had a discussion at Facebook about Baby monitors with a camera function. I asked: is it really neccesary to buy a new Baby monitor for a toddler?!

The answer: yes, ofcourse it is.... When she cries I can see why she cries. Maybe her teddybear fell out of the bed and then I can see that.

Err.... I really can't find any good reason why I should let my toddler cry without taking a look at him. But apparently I'm strange, because it looks like everyone has a really expensive Baby monitor this days!

Avidconsumer

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2015, 07:43:26 AM »
You should let them cry sometimes, otherwise you will regret it later on because they are smarter than you think. They will just cry all the time because they know you will come running. Tyrants are made by the parents only. Make sure you read up before having a kid.

lisahi

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2015, 08:22:11 AM »
Today I had a discussion at Facebook about Baby monitors with a camera function. I asked: is it really neccesary to buy a new Baby monitor for a toddler?!

The answer: yes, ofcourse it is.... When she cries I can see why she cries. Maybe her teddybear fell out of the bed and then I can see that.

Err.... I really can't find any good reason why I should let my toddler cry without taking a look at him. But apparently I'm strange, because it looks like everyone has a really expensive Baby monitor this days!

Toddlers don't need baby monitors with cameras -- they don't even need baby monitors.  If a child is classified as a toddler, they're generally old enough to walk, to sit up, and to stand. Unless the child has special needs, they can generally roll over to prevent suffocation or remove themselves from physical predicaments in their bed that could cause harm. As long as a toddler has the right kind of bed (or crib, if the toddler is still in one), there shouldn't be a problem.

Emilyngh

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2015, 08:28:19 AM »
I am having a hard time finding a preschool for our child.   She doesn't need to go, bu she's very active and would enjoy it.   We apply for pre-k at a fancy-shmancy private school.   It's very expensive but they claim to be very generous with financial aid, our household income is very moderate, so DD will only go if we get enough financial aid to make it reasonable.

I went to visit and met a parent who has all 4 children attending.   In talking about it, she mentioned how great it is and worth every penny of the over $50k a year they're spending to send their 4 kids there!   

I wouldn't spend $50k a year for my child's college for four years, let alone for 13 years for school that can be had for free!   

kander

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2015, 10:20:03 AM »
You should let them cry sometimes, otherwise you will regret it later on because they are smarter than you think. They will just cry all the time because they know you will come running. Tyrants are made by the parents only. Make sure you read up before having a kid.

I agree with you. But as a mother I can hear if our son cries or if he is whining. When he whines, I ignore it. But if he cries (really cries, because there is something wrong) I go to him.

RFAAOATB

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2015, 10:30:18 AM »
I wouldn't spend $50k a year for my child's college for four years, let alone for 13 years for school that can be had for free!

How rich would you have to be to make $50k a reasonable annual expense for four children?  Or one child?

As someone who wants to be a parent and struggles at just above median income, I will have to be able to separate value from waste, investment from frivolous, and so forth.  It would be much easier to be so rich that such expenses would be a drop in the bucket.

Le0

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #18 on: March 05, 2015, 10:34:02 AM »
You should let them cry sometimes, otherwise you will regret it later on because they are smarter than you think. They will just cry all the time because they know you will come running. Tyrants are made by the parents only. Make sure you read up before having a kid.

I was told once, that no matter what decision you make as a parent - you're wrong! Opinions like, you should let them cry, or you should never let them cry is one of those decisions that seems to be eternally debated.

Just a thought.

rosaz

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #19 on: March 05, 2015, 12:08:36 PM »
In talking about it, she mentioned how great it is and worth every penny of the over $50k a year they're spending to send their 4 kids there!   

$50k total or $50k each? I mean, $12k a year is still pretty damn steep, but not completely incredible, but $50k? Hell, even when the colleges charge that it usually covers room and board.

Emilyngh

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #20 on: March 05, 2015, 05:29:02 PM »
I wouldn't spend $50k a year for my child's college for four years, let alone for 13 years for school that can be had for free!

How rich would you have to be to make $50k a reasonable annual expense for four children?  Or one child?

As someone who wants to be a parent and struggles at just above median income, I will have to be able to separate value from waste, investment from frivolous, and so forth.  It would be much easier to be so rich that such expenses would be a drop in the bucket.

Well, that's not the entire annual expense, that's just for private school.   There's no amount of income I could have that would justify spending that much for me for private school assuming there are any other decent options (which there almost always are).   I am willing to spend absolutely no more than $3k a year on the per-k since I can't find another program for much less, and if financial aid doesn't get us there, she won't be going.   And once she's old enough for free public kindergarten, I won't even be willing to spend that much.

Seeing as I'm already rich, I have no desire to have an income large enough that I would feel better about wasting such sums of money on such nonsense.   




Emilyngh

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2015, 05:37:18 PM »
In talking about it, she mentioned how great it is and worth every penny of the over $50k a year they're spending to send their 4 kids there!   

$50k total or $50k each? I mean, $12k a year is still pretty damn steep, but not completely incredible, but $50k? Hell, even when the colleges charge that it usually covers room and board.

No, $50k total, but for something that they could get for *free*.   If you compare to investing $50k a year, over 13 years, with 7% interest rate per year, the total cost is $1,077,524.39.   My family of three could retire twice on that amount.

And I'd never pay $50k for college, even with room and board.   It'd have to be a wonderful education experience with extremely high ROI for me to consider paying $20k for college, including room and board.   $12k a year would be much more reasonable (my stepdaughter is a senior and one of the schools where she's been accepted will be $8k a year *including* room and board after other grants/scholarships).   So, yeah, $12k a year, for each of your 4 children, for them to live at home and go to primary/secondary school, each and every year for 13 years, is insane to me.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2015, 05:45:00 PM by Emilyngh »

Jesstache

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #22 on: March 05, 2015, 09:23:08 PM »
Ha, good bread is expensive even with buying in bulk on sale and freezing.  $1.80-$2.00 a loaf here for 100% whole wheat.  With 2 kids, we do 1.5 - 2 loaves a week.  I'm seriously considering making our own.

Sibley

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2015, 07:07:53 AM »
Jesstache - do you have a day-old bread store in your area? My mom used to go and buy a ton of bread, half price, then freeze it.

lakemom

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2015, 09:39:01 AM »
You should let them cry sometimes, otherwise you will regret it later on because they are smarter than you think. They will just cry all the time because they know you will come running. Tyrants are made by the parents only. Make sure you read up before having a kid.

Really?  I've got 6 and none of them were ever left to just cry.  They all turned out to be excellent adults (of the 4 who are adults....we're still reserving judgment on the 8  & 12 year olds).

Sofa King

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #25 on: March 07, 2015, 09:24:19 AM »
My cousin is a SAHM because she's quit her last job; but she's going through a divorce and not actively looking for another.  She moved in for 4 months with my husband and I as we wanted to help her through the transition of finding another job and apartment to live in.  Now we're at 6 months and she's been at my parents' house for 2 months and quit the one job she had started.  So she literally has $0 + whatever her mom sends her a check for every now and then.

She buys organic squeeze-pack yogurts for her toddler.  I didn't even know these things existed.  I think the squeeze pack feature might be helpful with a toddler, but SERIOUSLY she's spending other people's money and complains that jobs just don't pay enough to make it in this world.

I would pack her bags and take her to a hotel and pay for the first 2 nights. Give her enough $$$$$ for 2days food and let her figure it out from there.

GuitarStv

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2015, 06:55:56 AM »
Today I had a discussion at Facebook about Baby monitors with a camera function. I asked: is it really neccesary to buy a new Baby monitor for a toddler?!

The answer: yes, ofcourse it is.... When she cries I can see why she cries. Maybe her teddybear fell out of the bed and then I can see that.

Err.... I really can't find any good reason why I should let my toddler cry without taking a look at him. But apparently I'm strange, because it looks like everyone has a really expensive Baby monitor this days!

Toddlers don't need baby monitors with cameras -- they don't even need baby monitors.  If a child is classified as a toddler, they're generally old enough to walk, to sit up, and to stand. Unless the child has special needs, they can generally roll over to prevent suffocation or remove themselves from physical predicaments in their bed that could cause harm. As long as a toddler has the right kind of bed (or crib, if the toddler is still in one), there shouldn't be a problem.

Babies don't need monitors.  They have a built in alarm system that works shockingly well.  Babies can suffocate in a matter of minutes.  Unless you're checking the monitor more often than every five minutes that it's on you really don't have a better chance of preventing that from happening.  It's just another in a long list of useless 'safety' things that all parents are told they need to buy these days.

Avidconsumer

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2015, 07:32:00 AM »
You should let them cry sometimes, otherwise you will regret it later on because they are smarter than you think. They will just cry all the time because they know you will come running. Tyrants are made by the parents only. Make sure you read up before having a kid.

Really?  I've got 6 and none of them were ever left to just cry.  They all turned out to be excellent adults (of the 4 who are adults....we're still reserving judgment on the 8  & 12 year olds).

Kids can turn into excellent adults, but can still be terrible kids. Kids who cry and get their way tend to cry even more. Its a fact!

Sid Hoffman

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2015, 07:50:46 AM »
No, $50k total, but for something that they could get for *free*.   If you compare to investing $50k a year, over 13 years, with 7% interest rate per year, the total cost is $1,077,524.39.   My family of three could retire twice on that amount.

Why only 13 years?  Anybody who can afford to send their kids to private kindergarten & school is probably going to pay for their kids to go to a private university as well, and that could ratchet the cost up to $25k/year each.  Also, it sounds like the person in question was doing private preschool, not just kindergarten so you could call it 14 years, not just 13.

So: 14 years @ $50k/year followed by 4 years @ $100k/year and the raw cost in 2015 constant dollars is $1.1 million.  At 4% a year to give an approximation of inflation-constant dollars the opportunity cost would be $934,368 after the first 14 years then $1,526,852 after the next 4 years.  Of course, the costs would be spread over even more years since these are 4 separate kids, not a single batch of quadruplets.  While that means lower costs up front, it also means at least 4 more years of compounding, and possibly more like 8-12 more years.  The opportunity cost versus public school & in-state public university would be even higher than the $1.5 million.

Goldielocks

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #29 on: March 11, 2015, 11:42:57 PM »
Re: Baby Monitors....  camera rationale

First off -- I don't believe in the camera "reasons" or spending a lot on monitors.  We only used ours occasionally for a few months, because, really, as a new mom, you will ALWAYS hear your baby / toddler crying / screaming for you.   even if no one else can hear a peep.   I used ours when I gardened outside, and eventually found that my internal clock / ears were just as good.


BUT....   there was this time..

We were trying to get our DD to fall asleep on her own, which included putting her in the crib, and letting her cry it out, as we were so very sleep deprived.   One night, she cried loudly longer than usual, but we stuck to it.   When I went to peek in at her in the middle of the night, I realized that she had trapped her leg between the crib slats (which were narrow and unlikely), and twisted it a bit, so was crying for a real reason.  To this day, I regret it immensely.

But that is the worst horror story I can come up with, and the crib was safe, and she was A-OK.  So a camera would have been a god-send to a guilty mom, but not a life saver.... and certainly not worth the $200??   Hmmm  wouldn't a $50 webcam do the same thing..?


GuitarStv

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #30 on: March 12, 2015, 06:24:56 AM »
. . . or 20$ for some used crib bumper pads, which would completely solve the leg through slats problem.  :P

Flyingkea

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #31 on: March 12, 2015, 07:08:50 AM »
. . . or 20$ for some used crib bumper pads, which would completely solve the leg through slats problem.  :P
A friend of my mum had her baby get caught up in cot bumber pads. Lets just say it was a very unhappy ending.

mrsggrowsveg

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #32 on: March 12, 2015, 07:22:24 AM »
I don't have any playground stories, but my sister is pregnant with her first.  She has decided to sell her upside down car and start leasing cars.  She said that she needs a safe car with a warranty to keep her son safe.  She only drives 10 miles a day and makes $14 and hour.

galliver

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #33 on: March 12, 2015, 01:43:04 PM »
. . . or 20$ for some used crib bumper pads, which would completely solve the leg through slats problem.  :P

Those are not safe, and not recommended, GuitarStv.

GuitarStv

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #34 on: March 12, 2015, 02:03:25 PM »
Huh.  How exactly are they unsafe?  The mesh ones that we got are fully breathable and kept our son's legs and head from getting stuck in the crib that we've been using.

galliver

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #35 on: March 12, 2015, 02:33:28 PM »
Huh.  How exactly are they unsafe?  The mesh ones that we got are fully breathable and kept our son's legs and head from getting stuck in the crib that we've been using.

Huh. I haven't *ever* heard of mesh ones. "Bumper" brings to mind an image of quilted or pillow-like crib liners. I believe those are the ones that aren't recommended due to suffocation risk. Disclaimer: no kids of my own, just looking forward to it in the next few years and I read all my friends-with-babies' posts on carseat/vaccine/crib bumper safety.

driftwood

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #36 on: March 12, 2015, 02:49:06 PM »
Huh.  How exactly are they unsafe?  The mesh ones that we got are fully breathable and kept our son's legs and head from getting stuck in the crib that we've been using.

Huh. I haven't *ever* heard of mesh ones. "Bumper" brings to mind an image of quilted or pillow-like crib liners. I believe those are the ones that aren't recommended due to suffocation risk. Disclaimer: no kids of my own, just looking forward to it in the next few years and I read all my friends-with-babies' posts on carseat/vaccine/crib bumper safety.

Though I can't convince my wife (we have a 3  year old and a 4 month old), I think the safest and most mustachian option is a room that's mostly empty and the baby sleeps on the floor on a blanket (if you're not doing cosleeping).  A toddler on a mattress on the floor...

Neither has the danger of 'falling' so no walled beds are needed.  The baby can roll around anywhere in the room and still be safe. 

I also don't believe in a changing table and I change loads of diapers (washable ones of course).  I'd rather change the kids on the floor and never worry about buckling them in so they don't roll off the table and die while I'm dealing with the dirty diaper. 

galliver

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #37 on: March 12, 2015, 02:55:06 PM »
Huh.  How exactly are they unsafe?  The mesh ones that we got are fully breathable and kept our son's legs and head from getting stuck in the crib that we've been using.

Huh. I haven't *ever* heard of mesh ones. "Bumper" brings to mind an image of quilted or pillow-like crib liners. I believe those are the ones that aren't recommended due to suffocation risk. Disclaimer: no kids of my own, just looking forward to it in the next few years and I read all my friends-with-babies' posts on carseat/vaccine/crib bumper safety.

Though I can't convince my wife (we have a 3  year old and a 4 month old), I think the safest and most mustachian option is a room that's mostly empty and the baby sleeps on the floor on a blanket (if you're not doing cosleeping).  A toddler on a mattress on the floor...

Neither has the danger of 'falling' so no walled beds are needed.  The baby can roll around anywhere in the room and still be safe. 

I also don't believe in a changing table and I change loads of diapers (washable ones of course).  I'd rather change the kids on the floor and never worry about buckling them in so they don't roll off the table and die while I'm dealing with the dirty diaper.

I feel like that might get cold/drafty... :( Maybe if you had radiant heating like MMM ;) but Finnish babies sleep in boxes! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22751415 And my sister slept in a dresser drawer her first few days or a week at home. In lieu of a bassinet-type thing.

GuitarStv, I looked up, and you're right about the existence and relative safety of the mesh ones. However, apparently one of the risks with bumpers was babies getting tangled up/strangled by the ties, which would still be a risk, but a much-much lesser one than suffocation by the old-school bumpers themselves. Sounds like doctors still don't recommend them, but not for any solid reason (possibly, they're just too new to have statistics to provide any evidence). http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/18/health/no-bumpers-cribs-sids-parenting/

lakemom

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #38 on: March 12, 2015, 03:31:52 PM »
You should let them cry sometimes, otherwise you will regret it later on because they are smarter than you think. They will just cry all the time because they know you will come running. Tyrants are made by the parents only. Make sure you read up before having a kid.

Really?  I've got 6 and none of them were ever left to just cry.  They all turned out to be excellent adults (of the 4 who are adults....we're still reserving judgment on the 8  & 12 year olds).

Kids can turn into excellent adults, but can still be terrible kids. Kids who cry and get their way tend to cry even more. Its a fact!

And kids whose needs are met early in life learn that they don't need to whine and fake cry to get some attention.  There is a HUGE difference in crying to get needs met and whining to get your own way.

Flyingkea

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #39 on: March 12, 2015, 03:57:23 PM »
Huh.  How exactly are they unsafe?  The mesh ones that we got are fully breathable and kept our son's legs and head from getting stuck in the crib that we've been using.
The baby I heard of got tangled up and suffocated.

Quote
Though I can't convince my wife (we have a 3  year old and a 4 month old), I think the safest and most mustachian option is a room that's mostly empty and the baby sleeps on the floor on a blanket (if you're not doing cosleeping).  A toddler on a mattress on the floor...

Neither has the danger of 'falling' so no walled beds are needed.  The baby can roll around anywhere in the room and still be safe. 

I also don't believe in a changing table and I change loads of diapers (washable ones of course).  I'd rather change the kids on the floor and never worry about buckling them in so they don't roll off the table and die while I'm dealing with the dirty diaper. 
We did something like this for a month. We'd shifted interstate and some of our belongings took a month to arrive.
We do have a change table. I didn't want one, but it came as a package deal with the cot. It has been useful in terms of having somewhere to put him to dry him after a shower/bath as we don't have a laundry bench to put him on. And it means I could stand up straight while changing him, it also works as our baby supplies storage spot. (Folded nappies, cloth wipes creams, wraps etc).

abhe8

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #40 on: March 12, 2015, 04:12:50 PM »
We skipped the crib all together. Saved money. No sheets or bumpers to worry about. Lived in a small house, so never needed a monitor. Changed diapers on the floor. Baby happy and always safe. It doesn't have to be complicated or expensive.

MayDay

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #41 on: March 12, 2015, 04:19:27 PM »
A friend of mine decided to stay home after kid 2. She didn't make a ton so I figured daycare just cost more than she made for 2.

Ends up to afford staying home she cashed out her whole retirement account, paying penalties and taxes on it. Their plan is that once they use up her retirement money she'll go back to work and her h will stay home and cash out his retirement.

They are definitely frugal and careful with money so that blew my mind.

abhe8

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #42 on: March 12, 2015, 04:55:16 PM »
A friend of mine decided to stay home after kid 2. She didn't make a ton so I figured daycare just cost more than she made for 2.

Ends up to afford staying home she cashed out her whole retirement account, paying penalties and taxes on it. Their plan is that once they use up her retirement money she'll go back to work and her h will stay home and cash out his retirement.

They are definitely frugal and careful with money so that blew my mind.
Hmm... Does sound bad. Maybe both have such high income it will be easy to rebuild the stash?

Eta: nm

PencilThinStash

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #43 on: March 13, 2015, 12:35:01 PM »
A friend of mine decided to stay home after kid 2. She didn't make a ton so I figured daycare just cost more than she made for 2.

Ends up to afford staying home she cashed out her whole retirement account, paying penalties and taxes on it. Their plan is that once they use up her retirement money she'll go back to work and her h will stay home and cash out his retirement.

They are definitely frugal and careful with money so that blew my mind.

I'm going to assume the best: That they're running on so little sleep because of the newborn, their brains simply aren't working properly at the moment. Once they get a good nap or two in, they'll realize what they're doing wrong.

The only alternative is to recognize that that level of stupid exists in this world, and I refuse to accept that. Humanity can't be that dumb. IT CAN'T.

Goldielocks

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #44 on: March 18, 2015, 01:44:04 AM »
. . . or 20$ for some used crib bumper pads, which would completely solve the leg through slats problem.  :P

Haha! I had those, but a 14 month old girl in a tantrum from being put to bed before falling down exhausted made vigorous and short work.  She was likely trying to climb out....

Scandium

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #45 on: March 18, 2015, 07:07:48 AM »
In talking about it, she mentioned how great it is and worth every penny of the over $50k a year they're spending to send their 4 kids there!   

$50k total or $50k each? I mean, $12k a year is still pretty damn steep, but not completely incredible, but $50k? Hell, even when the colleges charge that it usually covers room and board.

No, $50k total, but for something that they could get for *free*.   If you compare to investing $50k a year, over 13 years, with 7% interest rate per year, the total cost is $1,077,524.39.   My family of three could retire twice on that amount.

And I'd never pay $50k for college, even with room and board.   It'd have to be a wonderful education experience with extremely high ROI for me to consider paying $20k for college, including room and board.   $12k a year would be much more reasonable (my stepdaughter is a senior and one of the schools where she's been accepted will be $8k a year *including* room and board after other grants/scholarships).   So, yeah, $12k a year, for each of your 4 children, for them to live at home and go to primary/secondary school, each and every year for 13 years, is insane to me.

Hah, $12k per kid is not bad. I checked what our daycare charge for pre-k and it's over $15k/year. And you say you can get it for free? Not really, at least not here. Our public school system website advertise their pre-k as a "quality, half day program". Yeah, but we have full-day jobs.. So how exactly would that work? Our 4 year old would come home at 2pm, while we come home at 5? I don't think so.

And you talk ROI. Paying $15-20k/year for child care allow me and my wife to work full time and make $80k each, plus benefits! How's that for ROI?

I find your reasoning about college expenses pretty silly as well. $20K is too much, but $12k is ok? Wouldn't that depend on the education? Presumably these are not the same if the cost is that different. I would gladly pay 20 grand for my kid to go to Harvard, but I would not pay 12 grand for him to go to Phoenix "university"...

And if you study the right thing (e.g. engineering) you can get a 12% annualized return on your investment so even if you have to pay $20k or more it could be a good move
http://www.economist.com/news/united-states/21646220-it-depends-what-you-study-not-where

It's about what you get for the money, not just "$X is too much"

mm1970

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Re: overheard at the playground - parents who just don't get it
« Reply #46 on: March 18, 2015, 09:14:29 AM »
In talking about it, she mentioned how great it is and worth every penny of the over $50k a year they're spending to send their 4 kids there!   

$50k total or $50k each? I mean, $12k a year is still pretty damn steep, but not completely incredible, but $50k? Hell, even when the colleges charge that it usually covers room and board.

No, $50k total, but for something that they could get for *free*.   If you compare to investing $50k a year, over 13 years, with 7% interest rate per year, the total cost is $1,077,524.39.   My family of three could retire twice on that amount.

And I'd never pay $50k for college, even with room and board.   It'd have to be a wonderful education experience with extremely high ROI for me to consider paying $20k for college, including room and board.   $12k a year would be much more reasonable (my stepdaughter is a senior and one of the schools where she's been accepted will be $8k a year *including* room and board after other grants/scholarships).   So, yeah, $12k a year, for each of your 4 children, for them to live at home and go to primary/secondary school, each and every year for 13 years, is insane to me.

Hah, $12k per kid is not bad. I checked what our daycare charge for pre-k and it's over $15k/year. And you say you can get it for free? Not really, at least not here. Our public school system website advertise their pre-k as a "quality, half day program". Yeah, but we have full-day jobs.. So how exactly would that work? Our 4 year old would come home at 2pm, while we come home at 5? I don't think so.

And you talk ROI. Paying $15-20k/year for child care allow me and my wife to work full time and make $80k each, plus benefits! How's that for ROI?

I find your reasoning about college expenses pretty silly as well. $20K is too much, but $12k is ok? Wouldn't that depend on the education? Presumably these are not the same if the cost is that different. I would gladly pay 20 grand for my kid to go to Harvard, but I would not pay 12 grand for him to go to Phoenix "university"...

And if you study the right thing (e.g. engineering) you can get a 12% annualized return on your investment so even if you have to pay $20k or more it could be a good move
http://www.economist.com/news/united-states/21646220-it-depends-what-you-study-not-where

It's about what you get for the money, not just "$X is too much"
The confusing thing about this thread is the basic facts.

The school was identified as a private school that they were looking at for "pre-k".  Pre-k (preschool) is not free.  (Well, we have a few free ones in my town, but they are most definitely income dependent).  Otherwise, preschool is $12-$16k per year.

So this friend has 4 kids there at $50k per year total.  It was suggested that she is paying for something that she could get for free for 13 years.  But of course, preschool is not free. 

Now, I'm THINKING, is that the person is looking at a private school like maybe Montessori or religious school, etc, which starts at preschool and goes through grade 12?  So maybe the person with 4 kids has school aged kids.

Anyway.