I can relate to this post. I have several nieces/nephews that always have a large party for their birthdays. The parents invite a lot of people so when it comes time to open gifts there is a huge assortment. In a way I feel that the adults compete for the best present. This leads to ridiculous spending. Each child has at least 15-30 gifts between a value of $10-$50. These are young children who are treated this way from age 1 and on.
Then a few years later the parents of these kids have the nerve to complain they have too many toys and junk filling their house.
1. Designate the party gift-free. Anybody wanting to give gifts (grandparents won't take no for an answer) can add to a college savings plan.
2. Have the party at a public park for free. The kids (the entire point of the party) have more fun playing outdoors with each other than they do getting fancy gifts
I have seen some gift-free parties. I think the thought is that they have enough from their relatives already, presents from all the guests would be overkill. I think it is a great idea.
I also had another thought....what about having a party where instead of bringing presents, people bring donations for a worthy cause? Not money donations, but, for example, we are fostering a cat through a rescue organization that relies on donations of food, cat litter, toys and treats to keep it running. People could bring pet food instead of the insane amount of toys! The birthday kid would still get presents from close family like Mom and Dad, Grandpa, etc...but any friends who came would bring donations instead of presents. Then the child would get to ride along to the shelter with all the donations and give it to the organization and see the good they did.
Forcing this idea on a kid would be counterproductive, but if they are up for it I bet that doing some good in the world would make them happier than more presents. YMMV of course because all kids are different, but it is an idea.
OK, historical perspective here. I went to lots of birthday parties in the 50's - yes the 50's, when I was a little girl. Birthday cakes from the bakery (with lots of sugary icing and icing roses, and the cake was cut so everyone got an outside piece and therefore more icing) and ice cream were standard. I am sure there were lots of sugar highs. And little baskets with goodies (candies mostly) as table favours.
Differences? Parties were at people's houses - time of year was irrelevant, lots of winter birthdays were done at people's houses. And those bakery birthday cakes? They were special, people didn't pick up cakes at the grocery store on a regular basis, they made their own. And of course back then most moms of the children who were having the parties were SAHM's, but I don't think the workload was that high. They were usually on a weekend and the Dad was there too, so the workload was shared. They weren't crazy parties, we played a few games, the birthday girl opened her presents, we ate, we went home. Two hours when we were little, 3 hours max as we got older. Invitations showed the start and finish time, so they did not drag on. Once we were old enough (say 8 and up) we walked to the parties. No-one expected parents to stay once the kids were 5 or so, and before that it would only be kids who lived really close who were invited to the party. I held similar parties for DD in the 90's, and yes they took some planning, but they were not killers. Kids' parties are like everything else, they have escalated.
My area would be considered LOC for Ontario, and $250,000 would be a nice, nothing special, house. Condos in Ottawa go for more than that. If we want to discuss how fancy-pants a house is, maybe a quick description would be more appropriate? Like "25000 sq. ft., 4 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom, plus family room, plus 3 car garage, house for 2 adults and 1 child" type description?.
These are the kind of parties I remember as a child of the 80's and 90's. I agree with you that like most things stuff has escalated. No one had a bouncy house or power wheels at the parties I was at, and there were usually around 10 presents. But, again, I grew up in a very non-flashy, small town kind of neighborhood.
And I am not against cake! The frosting is a bit out of control (it is so colorful these days I think my kid is going to poop rainbows!) I think, though. And at this particular party the kids were already offered soda and a big "dirt" cup (you know, pudding plus oreos plus gummy worms) before they even got to the cake. The cake was huge and custom and had dump trucks on it hauling around piles of frosting, LOL.
The house is a whole different thread topic I think, probably shouldn't have mentioned it, but since you asked here is what I know: It is brand new. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 family rooms, a study, a walk in pantry, a dirt room, a laundry room, standard large kitchen with island and granite countertops and stainless steel appliances, a 3 stall garage, decent lawn. I don't know the square footage. They have just the one child. There is a good chance that it cost more than $250,000, this is just a guesstimate from what I know about real estate in this area from having bought a house very recently myself and the values of the houses that look exactly the same around it....the cheapest one was that amount so I am assuming it was at least that much, most were more around the $300,000 range.
I am fully acknowledging that it could have been worse. Much worse, from reading the comment about someone here going to a kid's party with freaking fire-eaters!?! LOL! And at least this time the mother didn't start a fight with her dad about the present that he got his grandson.....it was one of those child-sized Laz-E-Boy rockers and I guess it was not as fancy or expensive as the Laz-E-Boy the he got the other grandchild, and so she openly accused him of not liking her child as much. That was last year. Less drama this year, lol.
All in all, here is my message: America, can we take it down a notch? Let's band together against piles and piles of plastic toys. Especially the really loud ones. I won't give them to your kid and you don't have to give them to my kid! Huzzah!
