Author Topic: Online dating profile comedy  (Read 27014 times)

jinga nation

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #50 on: October 04, 2016, 06:05:41 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

TexasRunner

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #51 on: October 04, 2016, 07:36:19 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Mississippi Mudstache

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #52 on: October 04, 2016, 12:44:06 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

sparkytheop

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #53 on: October 04, 2016, 01:06:02 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.

TexasRunner

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #54 on: October 04, 2016, 01:07:50 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.

GuitarStv

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #55 on: October 04, 2016, 01:08:51 PM »
   I keep a stick in my Prius to fight off the super models, Oddly I have never had to use it. :)

Yeah, supermodels don't have enough muscle mass to put up enough of a fight to require a stick.

Warlord1986

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #56 on: October 04, 2016, 02:31:35 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.

TexasRunner

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #57 on: October 04, 2016, 03:04:06 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.

marty998

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #58 on: October 04, 2016, 03:05:06 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.

With This Herring

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #59 on: October 04, 2016, 03:26:29 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #60 on: October 04, 2016, 03:35:10 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

Roadsidetreasurehunter

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #61 on: October 04, 2016, 03:43:34 PM »
This is sounding more like bovine feces.  Lol.

sparkytheop

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #62 on: October 04, 2016, 03:45:03 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.

markstache

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #63 on: October 04, 2016, 04:09:19 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.

sparkytheop

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #64 on: October 04, 2016, 04:30:57 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

pbnj

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #65 on: October 04, 2016, 07:28:33 PM »
Looks like they cud out the bullshit.

HappierAtHome

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #66 on: October 04, 2016, 10:49:47 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

yakamashii

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  • Posts: 123
  • Location: Japan
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #67 on: October 04, 2016, 11:28:23 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Bicycle_B

  • Handlebar Stache
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  • Posts: 1825
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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #68 on: October 05, 2016, 12:49:47 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

marty998

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6534
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #69 on: October 05, 2016, 12:51:08 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!

stylesjl

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 40
  • Age: 29
  • Location: Sydney, Australia
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #70 on: October 05, 2016, 01:08:27 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

limeandpepper

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4500
  • Location: Australasia
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #71 on: October 05, 2016, 03:07:13 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

yakamashii

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 123
  • Location: Japan
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #72 on: October 05, 2016, 04:56:44 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

The Guru

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  • Posts: 214
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  • Location: Great Lakes
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #73 on: October 05, 2016, 05:46:57 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

Darryl Musashi

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 22
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #74 on: October 05, 2016, 03:21:20 PM »
Quote
"I drive a classic Mercedes Benz sports car. And the woman I seek will know that the car a man drives is the mark of the man".

OK, so this is way off-topic from the current line of conversation in the thread, but I thought I'd mention that I honestly used to believe this nonsense about cars. Then I started driving a classic car and discovered that the only people who care about what you drive are other guys.

Seriously, if I was into picking up paunchy, balding, middle-aged dudes, I'd be in like Flint. Picking up women? Eh... in my experience, they just want to know that it won't break down and has a working A/C.

sparkytheop

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  • Posts: 853
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #75 on: October 05, 2016, 04:40:53 PM »
Quote
"I drive a classic Mercedes Benz sports car. And the woman I seek will know that the car a man drives is the mark of the man".

OK, so this is way off-topic from the current line of conversation in the thread, but I thought I'd mention that I honestly used to believe this nonsense about cars. Then I started driving a classic car and discovered that the only people who care about what you drive are other guys.

Seriously, if I was into picking up paunchy, balding, middle-aged dudes, I'd be in like Flint. Picking up women? Eh... in my experience, they just want to know that it won't break down and has a working A/C.


Yeah, pretty much!  Or, if it does break down, you know how to get it running again.  I know a few women into cars, but most aren't.

frooglepoodle

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #76 on: October 06, 2016, 04:57:16 AM »
Quote
"I drive a classic Mercedes Benz sports car. And the woman I seek will know that the car a man drives is the mark of the man".

OK, so this is way off-topic from the current line of conversation in the thread, but I thought I'd mention that I honestly used to believe this nonsense about cars. Then I started driving a classic car and discovered that the only people who care about what you drive are other guys.

Seriously, if I was into picking up paunchy, balding, middle-aged dudes, I'd be in like Flint. Picking up women? Eh... in my experience, they just want to know that it won't break down and has a working A/C.


Yeah, pretty much!  Or, if it does break down, you know how to get it running again.  I know a few women into cars, but most aren't.

My husband's car didn't have a working AC when we met, and he lived in the Mojave Dessert. It didn't bother me there but I insisted he get it fixed we moved to Virginia... I just couldn't do it with the humidity here.

A+ cow puns!

RocketSurgeon

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  • *
  • Posts: 77
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #77 on: October 06, 2016, 06:33:54 AM »
So skimming through this I noticed that everyone except Mr. I'mamark can name the year, brand and model of the car they paid less than 5 figures for. I think this guy isn't all that rich, just has the cheapest Mercedes he could find, and is trying to make it sound better than it really is.

So in other words, Melania is gonna be pissed if she sees this ad.

FIREby35

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #78 on: October 06, 2016, 07:19:43 AM »
That was my point, I bought a "classic" Mercedes for 7k. I just wanted a convertible. An old Mercedes is not expensive and the guy probably is a pretender! :)

MgoSam

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #79 on: October 06, 2016, 12:06:59 PM »
That was my point, I bought a "classic" Mercedes for 7k. I just wanted a convertible. An old Mercedes is not expensive and the guy probably is a pretender! :)

How's maintenance on it? My dad owned a Mercedes once and hated it due to the high cost of repairs and maintenance. Of course he is someone that just sends everything to the shop so I know he's not a good person to learn from*. He's since switched to Lexus and raves about them.



*He thinks my 10 year old Camry with only about 152k miles on it is old and unreliable and thinks I should buy a new car. He is speechless when I tell him I want to get it to 300k miles and then possibly buy an electric car.

jinga nation

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #80 on: October 06, 2016, 12:10:57 PM »
That was my point, I bought a "classic" Mercedes for 7k. I just wanted a convertible. An old Mercedes is not expensive and the guy probably is a pretender! :)

How's maintenance on it? My dad owned a Mercedes once and hated it due to the high cost of repairs and maintenance. Of course he is someone that just sends everything to the shop so I know he's not a good person to learn from*. He's since switched to Lexus and raves about them.



*He thinks my 10 year old Camry with only about 152k miles on it is old and unreliable and thinks I should buy a new car. He is speechless when I tell him I want to get it to 300k miles and then possibly buy an electric car.
Spin it back on him, tell him that the n-year old Lexus doesn't befit someone of his stature, and the community would look down at him, and that you'll do him a favor by taking it away, like a good son solving a major safety problem.
And a Lexus is just a nicer Toyota. Just as reliable. Don't tell him that last bit.

MgoSam

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  • Location: Minnesota
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #81 on: October 06, 2016, 01:06:05 PM »
That was my point, I bought a "classic" Mercedes for 7k. I just wanted a convertible. An old Mercedes is not expensive and the guy probably is a pretender! :)

How's maintenance on it? My dad owned a Mercedes once and hated it due to the high cost of repairs and maintenance. Of course he is someone that just sends everything to the shop so I know he's not a good person to learn from*. He's since switched to Lexus and raves about them.



*He thinks my 10 year old Camry with only about 152k miles on it is old and unreliable and thinks I should buy a new car. He is speechless when I tell him I want to get it to 300k miles and then possibly buy an electric car.
Spin it back on him, tell him that the n-year old Lexus doesn't befit someone of his stature, and the community would look down at him, and that you'll do him a favor by taking it away, like a good son solving a major safety problem.
And a Lexus is just a nicer Toyota. Just as reliable. Don't tell him that last bit.

He's aware that Lexuses are Toyotas. I'm ok with him buying Lexus because they don't seem to require much maintenance and I'm the guy he'll call to complain about anything electronic (as if I know how to fix things), so I definitely appreciate not having to field car questions. Most of the Indians drive Lexuses or other brands like him so he's in the clear. My mom drives a Camry for what it's worth.

FIREby35

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #82 on: October 06, 2016, 03:48:08 PM »
That was my point, I bought a "classic" Mercedes for 7k. I just wanted a convertible. An old Mercedes is not expensive and the guy probably is a pretender! :)

How's maintenance on it? My dad owned a Mercedes once and hated it due to the high cost of repairs and maintenance. Of course he is someone that just sends everything to the shop so I know he's not a good person to learn from*. He's since switched to Lexus and raves about them.



*He thinks my 10 year old Camry with only about 152k miles on it is old and unreliable and thinks I should buy a new car. He is speechless when I tell him I want to get it to 300k miles and then possibly buy an electric car.

I don't know yet. But, I already flexed some badassity and found out how to fix multiple small problems using the internet. I basically figure it can't cost that much bc the car is only worth 7k. BUT, I'm new to owning such a fancy car and might just have no idea what I'm talking about. We shall see...

sparkytheop

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  • Posts: 853
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #83 on: October 06, 2016, 06:27:04 PM »
Quote
"I drive a classic Mercedes Benz sports car. And the woman I seek will know that the car a man drives is the mark of the man".

OK, so this is way off-topic from the current line of conversation in the thread, but I thought I'd mention that I honestly used to believe this nonsense about cars. Then I started driving a classic car and discovered that the only people who care about what you drive are other guys.

Seriously, if I was into picking up paunchy, balding, middle-aged dudes, I'd be in like Flint. Picking up women? Eh... in my experience, they just want to know that it won't break down and has a working A/C.


Yeah, pretty much!  Or, if it does break down, you know how to get it running again.  I know a few women into cars, but most aren't.
ditto! I don't care what a guy drives as long as it goes and doesn't fall apart when we hit a speed bump. I have similar problem being a woman who has an older truck. Here in SoCal it seems the expectation (and the dream image) seems to be of the blonde driving the red convertible and when I show up in my old truck its like "you drive...THAT!" Sigh...

The plus side to living in a somewhat rural area is that a girl in a beat up pickup with a dog in the back is a good thing.  I miss that dog, she really got attention!

sparkytheop

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #84 on: October 06, 2016, 07:47:09 PM »
My pickup is red too :)  But the dog was definitely prettier than the pickup...


BlueHouse

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #85 on: October 07, 2016, 06:19:20 AM »


I smacked the coon doing 75 on the interstate and never even had a chance to tap the breaks. Destroyed my bumper and the plastic grill, but nothing a few zip-ties can't "fix".

How is this not yet a Garth Brooks song? 

GuitarStv

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #86 on: October 07, 2016, 06:35:08 AM »


I smacked the coon doing 75 on the interstate and never even had a chance to tap the breaks. Destroyed my bumper and the plastic grill, but nothing a few zip-ties can't "fix".

How is this not yet a Garth Brooks song?

It was.  He released 'Hotcakes' as a bonus track on the Japanese release of 1991's "Ropin' the Wind".



I smacked the coon doin' seveny-five on the interstaaaaeeete,
Destroyed my bumper and you know that's something I haaaaaeeete,
*slide guitar riff*
I never even had a chance to tap the braaaaaaaakes
But a few zip-ties an' that bumper was workin' like hotcaaaaaaakes
Yes a few zip-ties an' that bumper was workin' like hotcaaaaaaakes.
*backup singer repeats 'hotcakes', then guitar solo*

a1pharm

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #87 on: October 07, 2016, 11:15:03 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

The Guru

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #88 on: October 07, 2016, 11:26:58 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

TexasRunner

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  • Location: Somewhere in Tejas
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #89 on: October 07, 2016, 12:18:50 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

a1pharm

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  • Posts: 83
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #90 on: October 07, 2016, 12:47:12 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?
Or should we trim the fat?

Nederstash

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #91 on: October 07, 2016, 02:33:24 PM »
If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Stachey

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #92 on: October 07, 2016, 03:26:16 PM »
Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

TexasRunner

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #93 on: October 07, 2016, 03:40:23 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.

stylesjl

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
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  • Posts: 40
  • Age: 29
  • Location: Sydney, Australia
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #94 on: October 08, 2016, 05:02:21 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

sparkytheop

  • Pencil Stache
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  • Posts: 853
Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #95 on: October 08, 2016, 10:25:53 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.

Metric Mouse

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  • Posts: 5299
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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #96 on: October 08, 2016, 10:40:08 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.
That was Prime.  Well-done.

ketchup

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #97 on: October 10, 2016, 12:31:10 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.
That was Prime.  Well-done.
Indeed.  These puns are a rare medium well-done.

Metric Mouse

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  • Posts: 5299
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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #98 on: October 12, 2016, 09:40:49 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.
That was Prime.  Well-done.
Indeed.  These puns are a rare medium well-done.

A sign, no doubt, of the raw talent on this board. Certainly a cut above most forums.

BTDretire

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #99 on: October 19, 2016, 11:03:23 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?
I doubt it, they're tough as leather here.