Author Topic: Online dating profile comedy  (Read 27019 times)

6leakertweeker

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #100 on: October 19, 2016, 01:10:02 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.
That was Prime.  Well-done.
Indeed.  These puns are a rare medium well-done.

A sign, no doubt, of the raw talent on this board. Certainly a cut above most forums.
We're not out of the barn yet.

zephyr911

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #101 on: October 19, 2016, 03:31:22 PM »
This is hilarious, but I'm gonna hoof it on outta here.

marty998

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #102 on: October 20, 2016, 01:32:11 AM »
But we aren't calf done yet!

a1pharm

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #103 on: October 21, 2016, 06:20:14 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.
That was Prime.  Well-done.
Indeed.  These puns are a rare medium well-done.

A sign, no doubt, of the raw talent on this board. Certainly a cut above most forums.
We're not out of the barn yet.
I'm surprised this thread has now moo'ved to the 3rd page.

zephyr911

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #104 on: October 21, 2016, 11:32:36 AM »
I'm surprised this thread has now moo'ved to the 3rd page.
All part of the forum members' desire to "skirt" a-"round" the real issues.

sparkytheop

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #105 on: October 21, 2016, 12:17:09 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.
That was Prime.  Well-done.
Indeed.  These puns are a rare medium well-done.

A sign, no doubt, of the raw talent on this board. Certainly a cut above most forums.
We're not out of the barn yet.
I'm surprised this thread has now moo'ved to the 3rd page.

Seems like it was in a stall for a bit, but I'm sure it will field at least a few more puns.

If I weren't at work, I'd kick back with a Swedish red wine and see how far it can get.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #106 on: October 21, 2016, 07:33:58 PM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.
That was Prime.  Well-done.
Indeed.  These puns are a rare medium well-done.

A sign, no doubt, of the raw talent on this board. Certainly a cut above most forums.
We're not out of the barn yet.
I'm surprised this thread has now moo'ved to the 3rd page.

Seems like it was in a stall for a bit, but I'm sure it will field at least a few more puns.

If I weren't at work, I'd kick back with a Swedish red wine and see how far it can get.

Way to milk it.

The Guru

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #107 on: October 21, 2016, 07:48:41 PM »
Well! I thought we were out of cow puns, but obviously there were farm more!

stylesjl

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #108 on: October 22, 2016, 01:00:20 AM »
Cows are smart enough to stay out of the way of cars, in my experience. I've never had a beef with cows. Moose and deer otoh, are pretty dimwitted.

Maybe you can just steer clear of the cows more easily. Seriously, how did nobody else jump on that pun?

IDK. I'm udderly disappointed in this forum.
You are milking this one for all it's worth. :)
I think we need to just moove on.
We can't stop now, the steaks are too high.

How about some sirloin, without the side of cowpie?

Or maybe we should stop since it's pasture bedtime.

You are trying to make me quit. I refuse. Now is the time to grab the bull by the horns.

Best exchange I've read in a long time.  I could do this 'til the cows come home.

There is a large range of cow puns we can inflict on each other. But we should wrap it up before the mods take it out of our hides.

Right kids, I'm going to hit you all so hard with a leather strap you'll jump over the moon!

This is way to cheesy.  But in all seriousness, the rareness of this entire exchange is well-done!  I hope my thinly "vealed" enthusiasm doesn't graze by you unnoticed...

Be careful or the mods will horn in on all the fun.

Maybe they can be bribed with cow pies?  Or buffalo chips?

I don't know, might be time to cud it out.

Looks like we have more time to ruminate.

Looks like mods got no beef with this.

Had to cannulate the misquotes.

Well done! The previous commenters really butchered the quotes. Now, can I per suede everybody to get back on topic?

All the puns... maybe it's time to switch to de-calf.
Hay, don't be hating on our funny puns.
I feel like we've started off on the wrong hoof. Puns are welcome in these parts. But I feel like we've herd them all by now.
Well don't tell any other sections of the forum, there'll be a stampede to come join.
Trying to think up ways to keep this going hurts my brain more than doing cowculus.
Will you stop complaining about some puns with more puns?  It's all teat for tat.
It's getting hard to stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.  Or stomach.

That was terribull.
This exchange is the cream of the crop for this board.
Legendairy

Guys, come on, this is so off-topic. This thread is MEANT to be for online dating profile cowmedy.

Maybe we can switch to Spanish. I could use a vacation from these puns in English.

Whoo-ee, you all have me in real leather.

Non tienen una vaca, hombre!
No word yet on when we'll be mooving on from these puns. It will probably take bovine intervention to stop now.

Gyu don't say...

Nice to see folks who appreciate this brand of humor. If we were the beneficiaries of generous tipping, we could feed lots!

These puns made me gag so bad I needed the Heimlich manure.

I'm sure the OP would want to shank us for flanking his topic.  Should we chuck the puns?

Well, these barely skim the surface of possible cow puns- maybe 2%. But the butter ones are long gone.

I'm more curious how skinny we can make the original quoted section.  Is there a point where it will round?

Or should we trim the fat?

If I saw a good cow pun on a dating site, I'd be all in. I'd ask the guy to go to the moovies and get milkshakes. Maybe some skinny tipping if we dare. Cars I'm not so into.

Maybe if the guy was from Jersey he'd be into cow puns.   ;-)

Guys, you gotta connect the quotes to see what happens with several responses! We need to hurry before the mods give it the ox.
Then someone will say: Enough is enough, tomorrow this will all be ground beef.

I do think this is the cheesiest thread I've seen on MMM yet.  Well done.  Just the thing to pick you up when you are blue--rare talent right there.
That was Prime.  Well-done.
Indeed.  These puns are a rare medium well-done.

A sign, no doubt, of the raw talent on this board. Certainly a cut above most forums.
We're not out of the barn yet.
I'm surprised this thread has now moo'ved to the 3rd page.

Seems like it was in a stall for a bit, but I'm sure it will field at least a few more puns.

If I weren't at work, I'd kick back with a Swedish red wine and see how far it can get.

Way to milk it.
It is complete and udder madness on just how big these nested quotes have got.

a1pharm

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #109 on: October 22, 2016, 06:55:47 AM »


In case you couldn't go on with your life if you didn't know how aerodynamic a cow is - you're welcome.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #110 on: November 25, 2016, 09:27:27 AM »
In case you couldn't go on with your life if you didn't know how aerodynamic a cow is - you're welcome.
That pic got me from cowpleatly unrealized need to fulfillment and udder happiness just like that.

thanks!

Guses

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #111 on: November 25, 2016, 11:11:33 AM »
Quote
"I drive a classic Mercedes Benz sports car. And the woman I seek will know that the car a man drives is the mark of the man".

Hah!  Indeed it is.

I don't know about you, but to me, the way it's written sounds like the guy will show up in a 1981 Mercedes C220. Would love to see the look on the lady's face if that were the case!

zephyr911

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #112 on: December 01, 2016, 03:26:52 PM »
Looks like we have more time to ruminate.
FFS, I thought we had sent this tired joke to the slaughterhouse already. (I assume "out to pasture" already got used..."

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #113 on: December 02, 2016, 08:12:50 AM »
Looks like we have more time to ruminate.
FFS, I thought we had sent this tired joke to the slaughterhouse already. (I assume "out to pasture" already got used..."
It may have come into season again.

sparkytheop

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #114 on: December 02, 2016, 08:18:20 AM »
Looks like we have more time to ruminate.
FFS, I thought we had sent this tired joke to the slaughterhouse already. (I assume "out to pasture" already got used..."
It may have come into season again.

No whey.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #115 on: December 03, 2016, 04:48:00 AM »
Looks like we have more time to ruminate.
FFS, I thought we had sent this tired joke to the slaughterhouse already. (I assume "out to pasture" already got used..."
It may have come into season again.

No whey.

I think this thread has gone bad.

marty998

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #116 on: December 03, 2016, 06:18:06 AM »
Looks like we have more time to ruminate.
FFS, I thought we had sent this tired joke to the slaughterhouse already. (I assume "out to pasture" already got used..."
It may have come into season again.

No whey.

I think this thread has gone bad.

It's offal.

sparkytheop

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #117 on: December 03, 2016, 08:23:43 AM »
Eventually the mods are going to tan our hides. 

(wouldn't let me quote :/ )

Metric Mouse

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #118 on: December 03, 2016, 09:32:47 AM »
No doubt we'll be branded as troublemakers.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #119 on: December 03, 2016, 08:08:13 PM »
I've found the whole thread hijack process to be incredibly mooving.

-the word "mooving" has been used but in a different cowtext.

ender

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #120 on: December 03, 2016, 08:38:52 PM »
I have no idea what I just read.

The Guru

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #121 on: December 03, 2016, 08:40:08 PM »
The puns are baaack!

Oops, sorry- wrong farm animal.

sparkytheop

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Re: Online dating profile comedy
« Reply #122 on: December 03, 2016, 09:15:29 PM »
I have no idea what I just read.

Magical, isn't it?