Author Topic: Dirt of the Month Club  (Read 4392 times)

FireLane

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Dirt of the Month Club
« on: December 14, 2017, 07:32:36 PM »
How do you know when we've hit the peak of the subscription-box craze? Maybe when there's a website where you can subscribe to receive bags of dirt.

The appeal, such as it is, is that the dirt comes from real gold mines! and, if you sift it yourself, there's a chance of finding a minute quantity of gold. I mean, I guess if that's what you like to do in your spare time. But the basic problem still remains: you're paying for people to ship you bags of dirt.

Indexer

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2017, 08:18:24 PM »
Or....




Probably has the same amount of gold.

JAYSLOL

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2017, 09:58:38 PM »
How do you know when we've hit the peak of the subscription-box craze? Maybe when there's a website where you can subscribe to receive bags of dirt.

The appeal, such as it is, is that the dirt comes from real gold mines! and, if you sift it yourself, there's a chance of finding a minute quantity of gold. I mean, I guess if that's what you like to do in your spare time. But the basic problem still remains: you're paying for people to ship you bags of dirt.

Wow, that's crazy.  I thought by the subject title this was going to be some kind of gossip magazine subscription or something, but this is way funnier. 

Just Joe

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2017, 07:44:43 AM »
And the company didn't run a metal detector over the dirt to pick out any pirate's treasure before they bagged it and mailed it... We promise.

Oh what a Christmas this will be - a bag of golden dirt, a glass jar of English air, a $500 pre-sharpened pencil and a 6" square block of ice from a Norwegian glacier!

This ties in "First World Problems" somehow. Maybe twist it around to "First World Privilege".

acroy

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2017, 08:22:35 AM »
LOL
Sorry, keep that expensive dirt away from my $1,900 Ice Ball Mold
http://www.japantrendshop.com/ice-ball-mold-soccer-ball-football-55mm-ice-maker-p-1095.html

GuitarStv

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2017, 08:24:28 AM »
LOL
Sorry, keep that expensive dirt away from my $1,900 Ice Ball Mold
http://www.japantrendshop.com/ice-ball-mold-soccer-ball-football-55mm-ice-maker-p-1095.html

While this is patently ridiculous and I would never spend money on it . . . the little ice soccer ball looks pretty cool.

dycker1978

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2017, 08:33:35 AM »
Your all just jealous that you did not figure out how to market a "dirt of the month" subscription and speed up you FIRE time.


By the River

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2017, 08:49:31 AM »
I'm definitely jealous that I didn't think of the dirt of the month club, but I do have a river...anyone interested in a monthly shipment of dirty water?

Just Joe

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2017, 10:01:06 AM »
Hey I'll better that - I'll send anyone that wants it tap water! I'll send it in pretty little plastic bottles that are break resistant with convenient twist off tops.

On the subject of that ice mold - a cheap 3D printer could make that mold. Just need to make the 3D model. Might be a neat DIY project.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2017, 01:14:05 PM by Just Joe »

MgoSam

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2017, 10:04:14 AM »
You guys are all amateurs!

Coming in 2018, if you have $10/month to spare, I'm going to sell you a bridge!*




*You will receive parts required in the construction of a "bridge," said bridge may not resemble advertised material and is not suitable for any uses other than ascetic pleasure

trollwithamustache

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2017, 10:06:15 AM »
Its probably cheaper to buy the dirt than say, get all the equipment, take a few days off work, travel out to gold country and find out that panning for gold can get kind of boring after a while.

besides, a truly modern gold bug has moved on to bitcoin!

GuitarStv

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #11 on: December 15, 2017, 10:09:25 AM »
Hey I'll better that - I'll send anyone that wants it tap water! I pretty little plastic bottles that are break resistant with convenient twist off tops.

 . . . and thus was born the multi-billion dollar industry of selling bottled water.

nessness

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #12 on: December 15, 2017, 10:45:11 AM »
And the company didn't run a metal detector over the dirt to pick out any pirate's treasure before they bagged it and mailed it... We promise.

Oh what a Christmas this will be - a bag of golden dirt, a glass jar of English air, a $500 pre-sharpened pencil and a 6" square block of ice from a Norwegian glacier!

This ties in "First World Problems" somehow. Maybe twist it around to "First World Privilege".
Don't forget to ask for a $1000 (sterling silver) tin can!

http://m.tiffany.com/accessories/desk/everyday-objects-sterling-silver-tin-can-60559139?fromGrid=1&gridpos=36/3030&fromcid=3779727&trackpdp=bg&trackgridpos=16&tracktile=new

And a $425 protractor!

http://m.tiffany.com/accessories/desk/everyday-objects-sterling-silver-protractor-60558523?fromGrid=1&gridpos=36/6300&fromcid=3779727&trackpdp=bg&trackgridpos=31&tracktile=new|highlight

BDWW

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #13 on: December 15, 2017, 11:33:51 AM »
Hmm I live in gold country, the town I grew up in exists due to the gold mine. Anyone want any dirt?

MgoSam

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #14 on: December 15, 2017, 12:00:54 PM »
Hmm I live in gold country, the town I grew up in exists due to the gold mine. Anyone want any dirt?

Sure, I'll take whatever dirt you have on any upcoming horse races. Daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

Freedomin5

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #15 on: December 16, 2017, 04:53:17 PM »
People buy mud all the time to put on their faces. It's special mud with ashes from volcanos to make your skin smooth. Something like that. I got it from a fancy schmancy skincare shop.

facepalm

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #16 on: December 16, 2017, 05:50:43 PM »
I was thinking of selling "Bag 'O Glass" but I see Irwin Mainway has already beat me to it:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/irwin-mainway/n8641?snl=1

Consumer Reporter: Alright. Fine. Fine. Well, we'd like to show you another one of Mr. Mainway's products. It retails for $1.98, and it's called Bag O' Glass. [ holds up bag of glass ] Mr. Mainway, this is simply a bag of jagged, dangerous, glass bits.

Irwin Mainway: Yeah, right, it's you know, it's glass, it's broken glass, you know? It sells very well, as a matter of fact, you know? It's just broken glass, you know?

Consumer Reporter: [ laughs ] I don't understand. I mean, children could seriously cut themselves on any one of these pieces!

Irwin Mainway: Yeah, well, look - you know, the average kid, he picks up, you know, broken glass anywhere, you know? The beach, the street, garbage cans, parking lots, all over the place in any big city. We're just packaging what the kids want! I mean, it's a creative toy, you know? If you hold this up, you know, you see colors, every color of the rainbow! I mean, it teaches him about light refraction, you know? Prisms, and that stuff! You know what I mean?

Consumer Reporter: So, you don't feel that this product is dangerous?

Irwin Mainway: No! Look, we put a label on every bag that says, "Kid! Be careful - broken glass!" I mean, we sell a lot of products in the "Bag O'" line.. like Bag O' Glass, Bag O' Nails, Bag O' Bugs, Bag O' Vipers, Bag O' Sulfuric Acid. They're decent toys, you know what I mean?

Dabnasty

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #17 on: December 18, 2017, 02:47:51 PM »
You guys are all amateurs!

Coming in 2018, if you have $10/month to spare, I'm going to sell you a bridge!*


*You will receive parts required in the construction of a "bridge," said bridge may not resemble advertised material and is not suitable for any uses other than ascetic pleasure

If you enjoy it doesn't that defeat the purpose?

dycker1978

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #18 on: December 20, 2017, 03:00:44 PM »
Hmmm now that I am thinking about this, I think my next venture should be at home assembly ice kits.  Comes with everything you need to make ice cubes.  $49.99.

jinga nation

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #19 on: December 21, 2017, 07:00:45 AM »
For $49/month you will receive a box of clothing invisible to foolish eyes. Only those with elite intelligence can visualize this ethereal ephemeral material.
* Failure to visualize will result in a recommendation to consult with one of our esteemed optical herbalists.
* Shipping is free. No returns, refunds, or exchanges.
* Purchaser is allowed to resell items.


Roe

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #21 on: December 25, 2017, 07:25:42 AM »
For $49/month you will receive a box of clothing invisible to foolish eyes. Only those with elite intelligence can visualize this ethereal ephemeral material.
* Failure to visualize will result in a recommendation to consult with one of our esteemed optical herbalists.
* Shipping is free. No returns, refunds, or exchanges.
* Purchaser is allowed to resell items.

Haha, nice one!

NoraLenderbee

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #22 on: December 26, 2017, 04:26:13 PM »
For $49/month you will receive a box of clothing invisible to foolish eyes. Only those with elite intelligence can visualize this ethereal ephemeral material.
* Failure to visualize will result in a recommendation to consult with one of our esteemed optical herbalists.
* Shipping is free. No returns, refunds, or exchanges.
* Purchaser is allowed to resell items.

The "Dress Like an Emperor" club?

jinga nation

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Re: Dirt of the Month Club
« Reply #23 on: December 27, 2017, 05:34:35 AM »
For $49/month you will receive a box of clothing invisible to foolish eyes. Only those with elite intelligence can visualize this ethereal ephemeral material.
* Failure to visualize will result in a recommendation to consult with one of our esteemed optical herbalists.
* Shipping is free. No returns, refunds, or exchanges.
* Purchaser is allowed to resell items.

The "Dress Like an Emperor" club?
SmarThreadz (R)