Author Topic: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?  (Read 16064 times)

DadJokes

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #200 on: August 01, 2019, 12:50:08 PM »
I have been reading this thread with fascination for the last couple of days. I didn't plan on actually wading into the minefield, but I just saw catcalling happen while walking outside a few minutes ago.

A woman is walking along, minding her own business, when a homeless man shouts, "Holy cow! Look at the handles on that cutie!"

And this is in a fairly progressive city, so it doesn't just happen in NYC.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #201 on: August 01, 2019, 01:30:48 PM »
I have been reading this thread with fascination for the last couple of days. I didn't plan on actually wading into the minefield, but I just saw catcalling happen while walking outside a few minutes ago.

A woman is walking along, minding her own business, when a homeless man shouts, "Holy cow! Look at the handles on that cutie!"

And this is in a fairly progressive city, so it doesn't just happen in NYC.

It's one of the things that makes me grateful to be losing my hearing: finally a silver lining for this particular cloud. The rudeness is probably still occurring, and now there are also snide remarks about my service dog, but other people's mouth noise doesn't enter into my awareness until someone takes physical action or enters my field of view. It's good, because most of what gets filtered out is stupid to begin with.

The senior citizen who rubbed up on me in a public bus when I was thirteen was nasty, and the "boyfriend" who tried to rape me in the park when I was fourteen wasn't much better. My judo was good that day and I improvised a creative way to use walls. At some point I learned to tune out the blabbermouths, but I really hate being touched unless it's some sort of fight sport. I absolutely despise human contact unless that person and I are fighting or training... come to think of it, the sliminess of mandatory social contact and the sheer dishonesty behind it is probably one of the reasons it all makes me sick. The worst were the ones who tried to run me off the road while I was on my motorcycle. They ease up from behind and give your bike a bit of a bump, or try to force you off the road sideways. I'm sure it was "all in good fun" and "just a joke" and similar excuse making. Walking isn't that great of an idea because you never know when someone is going to throw a drink cup or something similar out of the window of a moving vehicle.

It starts in elementary school where they pull your hair, throw rocks or snowballs at you, call you names, shove you, or make fun of you. Apparently it's because they like you. All the adults applaud and encourage this behavior because it's an acceptable form of expressing positive attention. Yet when they do it to other boys, the person on the receiving end of the shove or the slap is considered justified in hitting back. If you dare to complain to a teacher, you'll be punished for having started it or done something to create the response. Apparently males aren't supposed to have agency or the capacity for independent thought, much less the ability to control their impulses. This doesn't quite mesh with what I've observed of male behavior in the workplace and elsewhere: they also appear to be capable of compassion and to have the ability to bond emotionally with other humans.

Now, anyone who's ever met me knows I'm uglier than a bag of hammers. Being born into a female body is something I regard as a birth defect, or a cruel joke played on me by a Supreme Being who is basically an enemy. I can only imagine what the attractive ones go through, although in fairness they usually have boyfriends with them so they aren't targets.

Just Joe

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #202 on: August 01, 2019, 03:59:43 PM »
I grew up in NYC and for me the harassment started when I was 11 and started going to school by myself on public transit.  Why would an adult man sitting on a stoop yell at an 11 year old girl about her boobs or feel her up on the bus?  What on earth were those guys thinking? 

Excuse me while I go cry. That's horrible.

That low and behold they are God's gift to the world and you just had not noticed them. And - once you had noticed, you'd rush right on over and be their arm candy. 11 years old? Holy smokes... More reason not to like the city.

Kris

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #203 on: August 01, 2019, 04:13:32 PM »
I grew up in NYC and for me the harassment started when I was 11 and started going to school by myself on public transit.  Why would an adult man sitting on a stoop yell at an 11 year old girl about her boobs or feel her up on the bus?  What on earth were those guys thinking? 

Excuse me while I go cry. That's horrible.

That low and behold they are God's gift to the world and you just had not noticed them. And - once you had noticed, you'd rush right on over and be their arm candy. 11 years old? Holy smokes... More reason not to like the city.


It's not just in the city. I lived in a town of 2500 people when I was 11. It happened there, too.

Hula Hoop

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #204 on: August 02, 2019, 05:25:17 AM »
It just so happens that my daughter just turned 11 and will probably start traveling to school on public transit soon.  Kind of freaked out by this but I plan to tell her about street harassment and keep an open dialog about it unlike my parents.

Raenia

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #205 on: August 02, 2019, 06:17:23 AM »
I grew up in NYC and for me the harassment started when I was 11 and started going to school by myself on public transit.  Why would an adult man sitting on a stoop yell at an 11 year old girl about her boobs or feel her up on the bus?  What on earth were those guys thinking? 

Excuse me while I go cry. That's horrible.

That low and behold they are God's gift to the world and you just had not noticed them. And - once you had noticed, you'd rush right on over and be their arm candy. 11 years old? Holy smokes... More reason not to like the city.


It's not just in the city. I lived in a town of 2500 people when I was 11. It happened there, too.

Yep, I was in a town of 10k-ish.  It can happen anywhere.

jinga nation

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #206 on: August 02, 2019, 07:05:27 AM »
I've always wondered what goes through the heads of all the street harassers.  The whole thing is so incredibly weird.  No matter how good looking I think a guy walking down the street is, I can't imagine making him uncomfortable by grabbing him or yelling something at him. I grew up in NYC and for me the harassment started when I was 11 and started going to school by myself on public transit.  Why would an adult man sitting on a stoop yell at an 11 year old girl about her boobs or feel her up on the bus?  What on earth were those guys thinking? 

As an adult I often wondered if maybe they though I would actually have sex with them if they harassed me on the street. I can't imagine that every happening but could that be their motivation?  I think that there was a Sex and the City episode where Miranda actually asks a street harasser these questions.

I think a lot of people write this off as an absurd motivation, but I actually think it's one* of the reasons men do it. While it's extremely unlikely to be effective, the chances of sex with a random stranger walking by is 0, but the chance of sex with someone you speak to and get their attention is some non-zero %. If they bother several women a day for 10 years that would add up to 1000's, suddenly the odds look a bit more probable. And beyond that, they probably aren't putting as much thought into it as we are right now, so it may just be an animalistic urge. Is a monkey who throws rocks at a potential mate more likely to get some than a monkey who sits quietly and stares? I don't know, but it seems plausible. Heck, this is a common first tactic for kids in grade school. Who here was picked on by someone who had a crush on them as a kid? Maybe some people's emotional maturity level just hasn't progressed past a 4th grade level.

*I'm sure different people have different reasons and it's probably a combination of reasons for each person. The power dynamic and just getting a woman to notice them are probably the other big two.

There were some studies done on dickpics that suggested the men continue doing it because it actually works. Yes, almost all women find them disgusting, but men sending dickpics ignore the negative and non-respons, and focus on the 1:100 000 that replies something that can be considered positive.

And that is also part of why so many women experience dickpics and harassment, and so few men admit to doing it. Those who are doing this type of thing keep long hours and work hard on reaching a lot of victims.

dickpic senders: "so you're saying there's a chance? a one in a billion is still a chance. better than zero." Clicks SEND.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #207 on: August 02, 2019, 10:56:37 AM »
I had my breast grabbed by a boy on a bicycle when I was 11.  It happened mid-afternoon in an upper-class suburb.  I avoided most of this mess by driving places and by dressing invisibly when I was a young woman. Now I am old and invisible.  But it happens.  For sure.  I had hoped that by the 2020's men would have matured out of this juvenile behaviour, but no.

I made sure my DD learned karate.  More for protection against overly pushy (i.e. abusive) boyfriends, but for situations like that as well.

Hula Hoop

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #208 on: August 02, 2019, 12:42:46 PM »
Retired - our older daughter does Kung Fu.  Partly for this reason but also because she enjoys it. 

RetiredAt63

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #209 on: August 03, 2019, 06:25:09 AM »
Retired - our older daughter does Kung Fu.  Partly for this reason but also because she enjoys it.

Mine enjoyed it too, and I didn't tell her why I was in favour until she was much older.

NykkiC

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #210 on: August 03, 2019, 03:01:17 PM »
I had my breast grabbed by a boy on a bicycle when I was 11.  It happened mid-afternoon in an upper-class suburb.  I avoided most of this mess by driving places and by dressing invisibly when I was a young woman. Now I am old and invisible.  But it happens.  For sure.  I had hoped that by the 2020's men would have matured out of this juvenile behaviour, but no.

I made sure my DD learned karate.  More for protection against overly pushy (i.e. abusive) boyfriends, but for situations like that as well.

That seems to be the general age for first experiences of unwanted attention. Mine was at twelve and was also my first experience of what my friends would later term the Gaslighting Conspiracy: when I asked the mother of a classmate if there was something wrong with my shirt because her husband wouldn’t stop staring at my chest, she screamed at me for being a disgusting liar trying to get her husband into trouble - and would try to smear my reputation to the parents of other kids for the rest of the two years I went to school with her son.

pudding

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #211 on: August 19, 2019, 05:20:52 PM »
I have been reading this thread with fascination for the last couple of days. I didn't plan on actually wading into the minefield, but I just saw catcalling happen while walking outside a few minutes ago.

A woman is walking along, minding her own business, when a homeless man shouts, "Holy cow! Look at the handles on that cutie!"

And this is in a fairly progressive city, so it doesn't just happen in NYC.

Yes, agreed.... and you could see it and you know it happened.

I've never said it doesn't happen. All I said was I can't see it in the city I live even though I spend a lot of time outdoors downtown on my bicycle and walking around.

I thereby deduced that though it of course DOES happen in the city where I live, it DOES NOT happen to the extent that it happens in other places. The viral video of New York being a good example.

Because I said I don't think it happens that often where I live, other posters have decided that I'm a nazi sympathizer, unfit to be a parent of a daughter, a mansplainer, a man who dares to think that a women assaulting him is in someway as significant as the same thing happening to a women. A forest gump like dummy who's obviously a confused idiot for not going along with what he's told to think.

I'd be offended but it's almost hilarious.... it's the excited states of America that you see on the T.V.   

Villanelle

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Re: Eyelash Extensions - wtf?
« Reply #212 on: August 19, 2019, 05:31:13 PM »
I have been reading this thread with fascination for the last couple of days. I didn't plan on actually wading into the minefield, but I just saw catcalling happen while walking outside a few minutes ago.

A woman is walking along, minding her own business, when a homeless man shouts, "Holy cow! Look at the handles on that cutie!"

And this is in a fairly progressive city, so it doesn't just happen in NYC.

Yes, agreed.... and you could see it and you know it happened.

I've never said it doesn't happen. All I said was I can't see it in the city I live even though I spend a lot of time outdoors downtown on my bicycle and walking around.

I thereby deduced that though it of course DOES happen in the city where I live, it DOES NOT happen to the extent that it happens in other places. The viral video of New York being a good example.

Because I said I don't think it happens that often where I live, other posters have decided that I'm a nazi sympathizer, unfit to be a parent of a daughter, a mansplainer, a man who dares to think that a women assaulting him is in someway as significant as the same thing happening to a women. A forest gump like dummy who's obviously a confused idiot for not going along with what he's told to think.

I'd be offended but it's almost hilarious.... it's the excited states of America that you see on the T.V.

DUDE.  You compared it to being asked ti believe in mythical creatures.  If you didn't mean that, then perhaps instead of painting yourself ass a victim, you should apologize for a horrible choice of analogy.  Start there, if you want us to actually believe you aren't many of the things YOU painted yourself to be with your own words.  If you continue to claim you were mischaracterized, as though all the rest of us are big fat meanies, rather than apologizing for the really awful, hurtful things you said (even if you didn't realize they were awful and hurtful when you said them, because a decent person apologizes when s/he is a hurtful ass, even if the intent was never hurtful or ass-ful), then you just continue to prove the point that you are ignorant and blind to the hurts you cause and to the reality of the situation for women and minorities. 

I have little hope that you actually will go through this thread, see the hurtful, insulting things you said in this thread and apologize.  But know that should you did it, I'd certainly accept it at face value.  Or you can continue to claim that it wasn't actually your words that lead to the way you were perceived.