Wow, this thread hit home for me. I can't go into too much detail due to pending litigation, but I am seeing the results of this behavior, magnified, when the parental units shrug their shoulders in frustration but refuse to cut the enabling behavior. Add in some un-diagnosed mental health issues and possibly narcissism, and the results are disastrous. This person was once a (mostly) functioning member of society, they have a degree and were able to maintain a job with a solid rate of pay. Unwilling to leave the nest and unable to maintain a relationship with others, but at least there was enough income to provide for themselves, so long as they could develop some frugal habits when they finally ventured out into the real world. Not perfect, but with some mentoring, there was absolutely an opportunity to become a fully functional member of society.
I'm too angry to be neutral these days, but from where I stand, this was a willful plan to take advantage of someone who lacked the faculties to protect themselves, and the levels of depravity, the lack of morals or ethics, are utterly astonishing.
This failure to launch character finds themselves with six figure unsecured debt, an extensive record of shoddy work history (near poverty level, but living the high life by abusing resources that are now nearly gone), and is willing to do anything to lash their way out of the corner they have painted themselves into. Unable or unwilling to defend themselves from damning evidence in court, they resorted to another form of legal action that will haunt them for years to come, further impeding their ability to become a functional member of society, with barely a couple of decades left before traditional retirement age. This person has strong hatred for the enabler and for the one trying to clean up the mess (me), so the solution was to hide from one, and dump the other, helpless person into the care of the state.
My life has been turned upside down this year, trying to rectify the problems created, while watching guerilla warfare tactics from the other side, determined to make things worse for all involved. I'm grateful that my mustachian ways are allowing me to devote some resources to solving this problem, and I'm trying to maintain some sanity and perspective. I'm hopeful that the proper channels will eventually come into play and do right by the ultimate victim, but my recent education into the legal process has been disheartening at best.
The actual details of the story are so shocking, many people close to me have suggested I pen a book about it all once the story is resolved. I probably won't, living through it the first time is hard enough, and my goal of FIRE is more important to me, so I hope to move forward and put this mess behind me at some point. I also realize my story is not unique, and it's been eye opening to see why this behavior continues without repercussion in so many families. Most people simply do not have the resources to fight a long, ugly, expensive uphill battle. It's all so very sad.