Author Topic: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members  (Read 238969 times)

iris lily

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #350 on: August 22, 2018, 11:01:56 AM »
Y'all, the Millionaires (after being relatively low-key for a while during the office opening, minus the whole Tahoe situation) have blown my mind yet again. I got on Facebook last night and there was a notification that "Millionaire's Chiropractic Office has updated their office hours!" so I went to take a peek. Get a load of this!

Monday: 10am-1pm, 3pm-6pm
Tuesday: 3pm-6pm
Wednesday: 8am-1pm
Thursday: 10am-1pm, 3pm-6pm
Friday: CLOSED
Saturday: CLOSED
Sunday: CLOSED

If you did the math like I did, that is a 20 hour work week. I texted my sister and basically said the fuck is with these office hours!? She explained that sometimes on those (less than) half days, they will be doing "health talks" to try to get new customers to sign up, so technically they'll still be working. They will be "cramming as many people as possible" into small office time slots "so that we aren't working 12 hours a day." Working 12 hours a day!?!?! There's not a day on that schedule that even hits the standard 8!!

I have to think the "Health Talk" time would be better spent in the office treating actual, paying patients, but what do I know.
Score! Great update.

boarder42

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #351 on: August 22, 2018, 11:03:56 AM »
Y'all, the Millionaires (after being relatively low-key for a while during the office opening, minus the whole Tahoe situation) have blown my mind yet again. I got on Facebook last night and there was a notification that "Millionaire's Chiropractic Office has updated their office hours!" so I went to take a peek. Get a load of this!

Monday: 10am-1pm, 3pm-6pm
Tuesday: 3pm-6pm
Wednesday: 8am-1pm
Thursday: 10am-1pm, 3pm-6pm
Friday: CLOSED
Saturday: CLOSED
Sunday: CLOSED

If you did the math like I did, that is a 20 hour work week. I texted my sister and basically said the fuck is with these office hours!? She explained that sometimes on those (less than) half days, they will be doing "health talks" to try to get new customers to sign up, so technically they'll still be working. They will be "cramming as many people as possible" into small office time slots "so that we aren't working 12 hours a day." Working 12 hours a day!?!?! There's not a day on that schedule that even hits the standard 8!!

I have to think the "Health Talk" time would be better spent in the office treating actual, paying patients, but what do I know.

keeping hours like this makes them selective and high end.  You have to really try and plan to get in here.  Just like when facebook was exclusive to college kids.  They are creating an exclusive environment where they can charge more for their services.  Also if they are selling these annual plans then making the times you can actually use it limited while signing up more people to the plans seems like a great way to build a huge business of doing nothing but collecting cash.

You know until people realize its not usable and they dont need a plan. so they'll make killing this year

MarciaB

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #352 on: August 22, 2018, 11:04:10 AM »
Well, to be fair...a business owner needs time to work on the business in addition to working in the business. But then again, if a week contains a total of 168 hours and only 20 of them are actual patient hours...Well. Uh. Yeah. 

Maenad

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #353 on: August 22, 2018, 11:24:37 AM »
keeping hours like this makes them selective and high end.  You have to really try and plan to get in here. 

I know this works - we've all seen it. But I've also seen it fail miserably. Total thread hijack, but how do companies/services/restaurants actually do this? Get a few movers and shakers to talk up the place? Advertise in the "right" places? And do the Soon-To-Be Millionaires know how to do this? How does someone even learn?

I obviously didn't grow up in that atmosphere.

boarder42

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #354 on: August 22, 2018, 12:07:17 PM »
Y'all, the Millionaires (after being relatively low-key for a while during the office opening, minus the whole Tahoe situation) have blown my mind yet again. I got on Facebook last night and there was a notification that "Millionaire's Chiropractic Office has updated their office hours!" so I went to take a peek. Get a load of this!

Monday: 10am-1pm, 3pm-6pm
Tuesday: 3pm-6pm
Wednesday: 8am-1pm
Thursday: 10am-1pm, 3pm-6pm
Friday: CLOSED
Saturday: CLOSED
Sunday: CLOSED

If you did the math like I did, that is a 20 hour work week. I texted my sister and basically said the fuck is with these office hours!? She explained that sometimes on those (less than) half days, they will be doing "health talks" to try to get new customers to sign up, so technically they'll still be working. They will be "cramming as many people as possible" into small office time slots "so that we aren't working 12 hours a day." Working 12 hours a day!?!?! There's not a day on that schedule that even hits the standard 8!!

I have to think the "Health Talk" time would be better spent in the office treating actual, paying patients, but what do I know.

keeping hours like this makes them selective and high end.  You have to really try and plan to get in here.  Just like when facebook was exclusive to college kids.  They are creating an exclusive environment where they can charge more for their services.  Also if they are selling these annual plans then making the times you can actually use it limited while signing up more people to the plans seems like a great way to build a huge business of doing nothing but collecting cash.

You know until people realize its not usable and they dont need a plan. so they'll make killing this year

Except that they haven't yet earned that reputation.
He has no experience, no patients to refer people to him, and no history of online reviews.
Also, unless he's opened up shop in some magical location where there is a high demand for chiro and a low supply, then he's likely to face some stiff competition in a generally heavily oversaturated market.

Initial clinic openings tend to attract a bunch of new people at first, but it's not enough to pack a full schedule. I don't know chiro at all, but for my industry it takes a solid 1200-1500 ongoing patients, plus a steady flow of new patients every month. It's unlikely that there's just a thousand or so untreated chiro patients sitting around waiting for OP's BIL to open up shop.
They will likely get their initial burst, and then if they are lucky they will get a steady influx that allows them to build their patient load to be able to fill a full time schedule, but it's not something that happens immediately.

The newbie clinics with nothing going for them tend to open at least some evenings and some weekends in order to stand out and offer *something* that the more established clinics don't. Those leisure hours have to be earned. You can't just decide to be exclusive without the demonstrable reputation to back it up. Besides, what's up with the 2 hour lunches??

I'm saying this as someone who gets paid to consult on exactly this type of thing but not for chiro.

i agree my post was entirely sacrasm.

boarder42

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #355 on: August 22, 2018, 12:11:42 PM »
the internets are hard with a personality like mine where nothing  say is really serious - unless its about a mortgage.  then i care.

turketron

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #356 on: August 22, 2018, 12:52:28 PM »
Maybe they're taking some pointers from Entertainment 720's business strategies?

Quote
Leslie: I thought you were doing great. I tried to hire you once and you said you were all booked up.
Tom: That was a business tactic. For the first two weeks we told everyone we were booked solid to make people want us more.
Leslie: Ohhh no, that's the stupidest idea I have ever heard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbKaPN-0NcM

frugalfoothills

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #357 on: August 22, 2018, 02:47:17 PM »
Maybe they're taking some pointers from Entertainment 720's business strategies?

Quote
Leslie: I thought you were doing great. I tried to hire you once and you said you were all booked up.
Tom: That was a business tactic. For the first two weeks we told everyone we were booked solid to make people want us more.
Leslie: Ohhh no, that's the stupidest idea I have ever heard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbKaPN-0NcM

*jean ralphio voice* they are FLUUUUUUUSH with CAAAAAAAAASH!!!!

frugalfoothills

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #358 on: August 22, 2018, 02:52:11 PM »
Joke of the day:

Sister sends me a picture message. She's lying facedown on a table and the skin of her back is red and inflamed from her neck to her waist. I'm like OMG, what happened!?!?!

"My acupuncturist did that to me earlier today!"

Oh wow. That looks bad. Why were you at the acupuncturist?

"Well, I've just been having a lot of neck and back pain lately..."

iris lily

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #359 on: August 22, 2018, 05:40:02 PM »

Quote
...Funnily enough, the more over saturated a medical industry is, the harder it is to make money, and the more practitioners spend on extremely expensive measures to try and boost their patient numbers and their profits. Meanwhile salaries on average continue to plummet.

This is new information! Who knew this!!!



« Last Edit: August 22, 2018, 05:41:57 PM by iris lily »

Mesmoiselle

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #360 on: August 22, 2018, 07:13:11 PM »
My brother credited me with this great idea two days back.

withdrawing a $500 loan at 7%?? interest to invest in the stock market.
........

Maybe you once mentioned not paying down your mortgage and investing in the stock market? Your brother might think loan = loan.

Oh my gosh, maybe. I may have actually said something along these lines but in my defense-- my home loan is 3.5% and I only owe 29k at the moment. I've prioritized other savings, like maxing out the 401k and personal Interest Charging loans to Trustworthy family members....and I have maybe just barely recently gotten to the point where I would even BUY stocks and I still feel like I should pay off the house.

But I should definitely clarify with him that my 3.5% barely makes investment in the market worth it and probably only barely.

The Microloan place is called Moneylion: https://www.moneylion.com/

I actually tried to find what the hell they actually do on their website and it was a bit obtuse, so I found this website to explain it:
https://www.highya.com/moneylion-reviews

7% only if he has good credit ( he doesn't) with a 2-6% fee just to get the loan. Let's assume that fee is also based on safety, so $35 for his $500 plan.  As far as I can tell, they only want you to pay interest every month, there is no payment required on the main loan. (sounds predatory.) You can do free work for them by writing reviews and letting them stalk everything about you (Facebook, phone number, email, bank accounts, credit card accounts) in exchange for "up to a 15% reduction in your interest charges."
« Last Edit: August 22, 2018, 07:46:06 PM by Mesmoiselle »

SeaWA

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #361 on: August 22, 2018, 11:16:01 PM »
Joke of the day:

Sister sends me a picture message. She's lying facedown on a table and the skin of her back is red and inflamed from her neck to her waist. I'm like OMG, what happened!?!?!

"My acupuncturist did that to me earlier today!"

Oh wow. That looks bad. Why were you at the acupuncturist?

"Well, I've just been having a lot of neck and back pain lately..."

Pure gold!

Thanks for the update!

Linea_Norway

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #362 on: August 23, 2018, 12:42:11 AM »
<...> Besides, what's up with the 2 hour lunches??
<...>

That's simple. That is the time you need to drive to your luncheon restaurant on the other side of the city, have a quiet lunch and drive back again.

Apple_Tango

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #363 on: August 23, 2018, 05:48:51 AM »
If they want to keep leisure hours, I think they should be open Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. (Maybe they could close on Monday/Tuesday?) The weekends are when other working people have time off! You know when they also have time off? On their various lunch breaks! How inconvenient that the chiropractic office they really want to use is closed on the days and times they would actually use the service.

Seriously, the only person I know with a schedule with free time at 10 am on a given weekday is my grandma

hops

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #364 on: August 23, 2018, 06:31:22 AM »
I know because I am both a medical professional and a consultant.
I am "cold called" on a nearly daily basis by consultants from all over the country and from the US trying to sell me on how I can get more patients or increase my billings.

Funnily enough, the more over saturated a medical industry is, the harder it is to make money, and the more practitioners spend on extremely expensive measures to try and boost their patient numbers and their profits. Meanwhile salaries on average continue to plummet.

You're in dentistry, aren't you? Oversaturation in that field and in optometry is particularly interesting in light of the student loan debt burden those graduates carry.

OP, please update us if your brother-in-law starts selling multi-level marketing products to his "patients." Almost every chiropractor I know of who claims to be wildly successful eventually sinks to hocking MLM vitamins or shakes on the side.

talltexan

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #365 on: August 23, 2018, 06:39:07 AM »
I actually don't think this is strange. They probably calculated their profit-margin for patient and arrived at these hours being the ones they need to fill. Staying open until 6 allows for people on a normal work schedule to come in.

If there were one tweak I could offer, it'd be offering an early morning day, something like 6-9 am.

Dicey

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #366 on: August 23, 2018, 07:19:00 AM »
the internets are hard with a personality like mine where nothing  say is really serious - unless its about a mortgage.  then i care.
And thank goodness you do! (Totally serious, not sarcasm.)

calimom

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #367 on: August 23, 2018, 06:09:46 PM »
I'm guessing the people who were roped into signing up for a "package" of visits are going to be a mite frustrated when they find they can't schedule actual….visits and all. Especially if they work regular hours and need to have an adjustment after work, on their lunch hour, on Saturday morning or such.

ixtap

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #368 on: August 23, 2018, 06:17:31 PM »
I'm guessing the people who were roped into signing up for a "package" of visits are going to be a mite frustrated when they find they can't schedule actual….visits and all. Especially if they work regular hours and need to have an adjustment after work, on their lunch hour, on Saturday morning or such.

I would ask for my money back if the hours changed to be less convenient to me after I signed up.

Cpa Cat

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #369 on: August 26, 2018, 11:50:19 AM »
Devil's advocate... Limiting hours makes sense to me.

They don't have many clients, and it's an incredibly inefficient use of time if they book an appointment at 9am then one at 10:30 am then one at 1pm and then one at 4pm. By restricting the hours, they funnel the patients into a more back-to-back schedule.

I agree with a previous poster who said it makes more sense to open on Saturday and be closed mid week, and to have at least one half day where you work 10am-2pm to catch lunch hours.


Crazy long lunches are really common among chiropractors and some other doctors for some reason - I don't get it. It's really annoying to call a doctor's office at 1:30pm and find out the whole office is on some F-ed up lunch vacation.

hops

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #370 on: August 26, 2018, 01:00:46 PM »
Crazy long lunches are really common among chiropractors and some other doctors for some reason - I don't get it. It's really annoying to call a doctor's office at 1:30pm and find out the whole office is on some F-ed up lunch vacation.

"F-ed up lunch vacations" is a great term that I want to use now in my everyday life. My dentist's office holds office meetings/team bonding time during their long lunch breaks and then posts photos on Facebook. If you examine them closely, you'll see some of the employees have wide smiles but eyes pleading for help.

Medical offices frequently aren't doing anything fun during those long breaks, either. Unless you're a fan of hours-long lectures, seminars, or other work-related meetings.

Cassie

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #371 on: August 26, 2018, 01:37:39 PM »
I would not go to a chiropractor whose hours were inconvenient.  My chiropractor is always busy and can easily fill up his hours. I have never had a chiropractor be open on the weekend but usually some early evening hours such as closing at 6pm. My chiropractor also doesn’t charge a office visit on top of the adjustment. If you pay the day of service it is $45.  They don’t accept CC’s so it keeps their costs down.  They take some insurance but not all. For instance my insurance only wants to pay them $17/visit because they charge so little. Their overhead is more than that on a per person basis. This simple business plan has made them millions.  So to make my insurance work they would have to charge for office visit too and they refused to play that game. We live in a MCOL.

Abe

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #372 on: August 26, 2018, 01:49:14 PM »
I’d like to work at one of these crazy-Long lunch vacation places. None of the clinics I’ve ever worked in allow more than the minimum time required. Also they often have the receptionist take lunch at a different time than noon so they can field calls to come in during patients’ lunch Breaks.

AMandM

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #373 on: August 26, 2018, 06:20:34 PM »
<...> Besides, what's up with the 2 hour lunches??
<...>

That's simple. That is the time you need to drive to your luncheon restaurant on the other side of the city, have a quiet lunch and drive back again.

From Nancy Mitford's "Paris Column" in the Sunday Times, December 9, 1951:

I was rung up from UNO by a member of the French delegation whom I had not seen for some time. 'Come to luncheon,' I said. But he replied gloomily that he gets only two hours off, and it takes ten minutes to my house. The idea of bolting his food in 100 minutes clearly appalled him, and he said that we must eat in Passy.
Now the UN building is full of entrances and, as we could not afford to lose precious minutes looking for each other, we decided that it would be safest to meet in the Musee de l'Homme [...]. We met sharp at one o'clock and raced to a local bistro where we happily guzzled until three minutes to three. 'You see,' he said, 'we've only just done it in the time.'

talltexan

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #374 on: August 27, 2018, 07:33:13 AM »
Indeed I had a friend from France in Grad School: I took a train to DT chicago, met him for lunch, and was leaving at something like 4:15 pm after multiple bottles of wine.

The one nice thing was that we picked up some beautiful women to join us for the lunch. Because, you know, France.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #375 on: August 27, 2018, 11:59:17 PM »

Quote
...Funnily enough, the more over saturated a medical industry is, the harder it is to make money, and the more practitioners spend on extremely expensive measures to try and boost their patient numbers and their profits. Meanwhile salaries on average continue to plummet.

This is new information! Who knew this!!!

The phenomenon exists far beyond the medical industry. There are plenty of consultants, services, and other businesses that provide only one thing: advice about how to improve other people's businesses. Very little of it is based on an actual audit or assessment of the business itself: it's more likely to be whizbang marketing or a bunch of modern astrology about how to better justify a previous decision to stereotype, limit, and criticize your individual employees while simultaneously wasting their time.

Supposedly all of this is intended to increase productivity or reduce turnover. In practice it just helps everybody learn the trendiest new buzzwords (assuming they can stay awake with all the jargon floating around the room). Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects... which is particularly ineffective if what you hired them to do is to rotate tires, flip burgers, take vital signs, or write software code.

Many of these companies do indeed direct their "services" at particular industries. There's an equally pernicious group of consultants that feed off of job seekers.

Laura33

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #376 on: August 28, 2018, 08:48:55 AM »
Maybe they have limited their hours because they don't have enough clients yet, and they would like to spin that into being "selective" instead of "desperate"?

Re: consultants:  well of course there is a direct correlation between tightening markets and prevalence of miracle-promising consultants; why would you bother paying someone to tell you how to run your business when you're doing fine as is?  It's when things get tight that the difference between a well-run and poorly-run operation really shows, and the latter get desperate.

My mom runs her own consulting business helping small charities learn how to do effective fundraising and run capital campaigns and the like.  When the Great Recession hit, she was very very worried, because charitable donations were down significantly, so, she thought, who would have money to spare to hire a consultant?  She ended up having her best year ever, and then the one after that was even better, and so on.  Because when the overall charitable pie shrank, the little guys were desperate to figure out how to get a bigger share of it to stay in business.

TonyV.

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #377 on: August 28, 2018, 04:05:38 PM »
I'm way late to this game, but definitely following from here on out!! She had neck and back pain, but here hunband wasn't good enough to fix it for her?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Apple_Tango

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #378 on: August 28, 2018, 06:28:59 PM »
I'm way late to this game, but definitely following from here on out!! She had neck and back pain, but here hunband wasn't good enough to fix it for her?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Somehow the irony went way over my head and I’m so glad you pointed it out! Oh man that’s ridiculous ha

marty998

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #379 on: August 29, 2018, 03:55:22 AM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...

In a scrum, with agile.

@TheGrimSqueaker and @plainjane. As Scrum Master of this Scrum Team I am disappointed in the lack of Scrum Values you are both displaying.

I'm going to write this up on the Scrum Board.

Now go work on your Sprint Backlog before we conduct our Sprint Retrospective and Sprint Reviews of this debacle.

partgypsy

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #380 on: August 29, 2018, 10:54:48 AM »
No Friday, Saturday or Sunday hours. How convenient for those who work full time. I do feel it makes sense to limit the hours at this time point. But they should have at least 1 "weekend" day where they see clients.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #381 on: August 29, 2018, 01:08:05 PM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...
In a scrum, with agile.
@TheGrimSqueaker and @plainjane. As Scrum Master of this Scrum Team I am disappointed in the lack of Scrum Values you are both displaying.

I'm going to write this up on the Scrum Board.

Now go work on your Sprint Backlog before we conduct our Sprint Retrospective and Sprint Reviews of this debacle.

I apologize for not living the team values or following the spirit of the social contract that we all wrote out together at the beginning of this project. I hang my head and have returned to reviewing Trello cards.

I, however, have just completed a blackout on my Buzzword Bingo card. What do I win?

patchyfacialhair

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #382 on: August 29, 2018, 01:31:29 PM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...
In a scrum, with agile.
@TheGrimSqueaker and @plainjane. As Scrum Master of this Scrum Team I am disappointed in the lack of Scrum Values you are both displaying.

I'm going to write this up on the Scrum Board.

Now go work on your Sprint Backlog before we conduct our Sprint Retrospective and Sprint Reviews of this debacle.

I apologize for not living the team values or following the spirit of the social contract that we all wrote out together at the beginning of this project. I hang my head and have returned to reviewing Trello cards.

I, however, have just completed a blackout on my Buzzword Bingo card. What do I win?

Synergy

talltexan

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #383 on: August 29, 2018, 01:50:52 PM »
No Friday, Saturday or Sunday hours. How convenient for those who work full time. I do feel it makes sense to limit the hours at this time point. But they should have at least 1 "weekend" day where they see clients.

People keep saying it makes sense to limit their hours, but why does this make sense?

Unless they have staff that they are paying, then the only cost to staying open is their own time and the electricity for the lights. It’s a new business, it’s normal to put in a lot of unpaid hours. Efficiency only comes into play once the practice has enough patients, until then, attracting patients is the top priority.

Closing during certain hours to give “health talks” to drum up business could make sense, although assuming that his wife is capable of working reception, they could still keep the doors open for foot traffic and she could provide info and book potential patients even if he’s out giving a talk.

If he is in a visible location with a lot of foot traffic, then he should be open as much as possible to cast the widest net for that foot traffic and get the most benefit.

Sure, if you have more than enough patients and a stable patient flow to sustain a practice, then you can work whatever hours you want. Until then, more hours means more potential patients, and limiting hours limits exposure and convenience.

Two different visions for how you build this business: walk-in customers, or person-to-person networking. If the latter is closer to their strategy, then the reduced hours make sense.

yourusernamehere

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #384 on: August 29, 2018, 02:45:29 PM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...
In a scrum, with agile.
@TheGrimSqueaker and @plainjane. As Scrum Master of this Scrum Team I am disappointed in the lack of Scrum Values you are both displaying.

I'm going to write this up on the Scrum Board.

Now go work on your Sprint Backlog before we conduct our Sprint Retrospective and Sprint Reviews of this debacle.

I apologize for not living the team values or following the spirit of the social contract that we all wrote out together at the beginning of this project. I hang my head and have returned to reviewing Trello cards.
I come here to get away from this!

Laura33

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #385 on: August 29, 2018, 03:16:19 PM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...
In a scrum, with agile.
@TheGrimSqueaker and @plainjane. As Scrum Master of this Scrum Team I am disappointed in the lack of Scrum Values you are both displaying.

I'm going to write this up on the Scrum Board.

Now go work on your Sprint Backlog before we conduct our Sprint Retrospective and Sprint Reviews of this debacle.

I apologize for not living the team values or following the spirit of the social contract that we all wrote out together at the beginning of this project. I hang my head and have returned to reviewing Trello cards.
I come here to get away from this!

I am so, so thankful that I have absolutely no idea what any of this means.

prudent_one

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #386 on: August 29, 2018, 05:25:58 PM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...

In a scrum, with agile.
AAHHHH! My neighbor regales me occasionally with stories of the 3 Agile/Scrum zealots his company brought in. Take any word that people instinctively understand, they make up a new one. The latest one he told me was that when Zealot #3 decided to change the periodic <some agile buzzword here> meeting, they didn't tell people they updated the calendar when they moved the future meetings. They updated the cadence.

You know how some software has open issues that need to be fixed? Not theirs, they have defect debt. I just have to laugh.

stclurker

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #387 on: August 29, 2018, 09:00:05 PM »
just posting to follow the train wreck

Linea_Norway

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #388 on: August 30, 2018, 01:07:22 AM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...
In a scrum, with agile.
@TheGrimSqueaker and @plainjane. As Scrum Master of this Scrum Team I am disappointed in the lack of Scrum Values you are both displaying.

I'm going to write this up on the Scrum Board.

Now go work on your Sprint Backlog before we conduct our Sprint Retrospective and Sprint Reviews of this debacle.

I apologize for not living the team values or following the spirit of the social contract that we all wrote out together at the beginning of this project. I hang my head and have returned to reviewing Trello cards.
I come here to get away from this!

I am so, so thankful that I have absolutely no idea what any of this means.

Today I am up for a whole day of meetings according these scrum buzzwords. Puke!
Good to hear that more normal (MMM) people find the scrum business a provoking BS method.

jinga nation

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #389 on: August 30, 2018, 10:00:50 AM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...
In a scrum, with agile.
@TheGrimSqueaker and @plainjane. As Scrum Master of this Scrum Team I am disappointed in the lack of Scrum Values you are both displaying.

I'm going to write this up on the Scrum Board.

Now go work on your Sprint Backlog before we conduct our Sprint Retrospective and Sprint Reviews of this debacle.

I apologize for not living the team values or following the spirit of the social contract that we all wrote out together at the beginning of this project. I hang my head and have returned to reviewing Trello cards.
I come here to get away from this!

I am so, so thankful that I have absolutely no idea what any of this means.

Today I am up for a whole day of meetings according these scrum buzzwords. Puke!
Good to hear that more normal (MMM) people find the scrum business a provoking BS method.

I had enough of the buzzword baloney shit sandwiches during my time at HoneyHell doing Six Sigma. When I left that shithole, swore that if any company that I worked for decided to implement stupid shit like that, it was time to move on.

I work with code developers and operations engineers, we use git and terraform and aws cli and a lot of devops tools, but we don't do the stupid scrumbumfucks and agile-cluster-fuckery-yoga-twistys.

Fuck all these idiocracies that claim to increase productivity and being told by non-technical people running dumbfuck meetings how to develop code. Dumbass mofos need to bumblefuck doubletime and gtfo to bumfuckegypt.

ysette9

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #390 on: August 30, 2018, 10:40:26 AM »
Hahah

Tell us what you really think!

Apples

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #391 on: August 30, 2018, 12:35:54 PM »
I'm so lucky I work in production ag.  I never, ever use buzzwords.  Unless "food safety" is a buzzword.  I'm imagining having to sit in a meeting where they're telling me about calling a calendar a "cadence" and I would be like....but why?  And then channel my inner Ron Swanson to tell them no, I'm not doing that, we all know it's a calendar.  And what is a scrum?  I thought that was some rugby thing?

a286

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #392 on: August 30, 2018, 12:48:08 PM »
We have introduced TPM in my workplace... at the rate they are going, it will take 20 years to implement across all systems in each location in the division.

I dont plan on being here for that.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #393 on: August 30, 2018, 03:09:08 PM »
I'm so lucky I work in production ag.  I never, ever use buzzwords.  Unless "food safety" is a buzzword.  I'm imagining having to sit in a meeting where they're telling me about calling a calendar a "cadence" and I would be like....but why?  And then channel my inner Ron Swanson to tell them no, I'm not doing that, we all know it's a calendar.  And what is a scrum?  I thought that was some rugby thing?

They pick words that sound masochistic so people know in advance that they're signing up to be miserable for the duration.

Abe

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #394 on: August 30, 2018, 09:12:01 PM »
Maybe I'm out of date - is Kaizen a thing anymore?

barbaz

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #395 on: August 31, 2018, 12:18:14 AM »
Today I am up for a whole day of meetings according these scrum buzzwords. Puke!
Good to hear that more normal (MMM) people find the scrum business a provoking BS method.
Seriously though, if you think these meetings are a waste of time, you should point that out in the retrospective. That’s what it’s for.

For those who don’t know, scrum has a regular meeting with the single purpose of giving everyone a chance to complain about how things are done and to suggest improvements. I think a lot of companies could benefit from that.

runbikerun

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #396 on: August 31, 2018, 02:08:15 AM »
The use of the word scrum in a business meeting sense, along with similar bullshit like referring to top-tier coders as"rockstar", is infuriating. I spent four years playing rugby, two of them as a loosehead prop, and an actual scrum is light years from a stand-up meeting about tasks for the day.

Nobody discusses anything in a scrum. A call is made, and everybody shuts the fuck up and does their job. All you can think about as a prop is the guy opposite you and how to shove his head between his knees using nothing but your shoulder. All you can think about as a lock is getting your shoulders just under your front row's arses and driving into them as hard as you can. The only workplace environment I've ever been in that comes close to replicating the psychological feeling of scrummaging was the lunchtime rush at Burger King when I was seventeen years old.

Calling a staff meeting a scrum is insulting to rugby players, indicative of a total lack of knowledge of what a scrum actually is, and a bullshit attempt to imbue management theory with a badass aura it absolutely does not deserve.

UnleashHell

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #397 on: August 31, 2018, 03:58:13 AM »
The use of the word scrum in a business meeting sense, along with similar bullshit like referring to top-tier coders as"rockstar", is infuriating. I spent four years playing rugby, two of them as a loosehead prop, and an actual scrum is light years from a stand-up meeting about tasks for the day.

Nobody discusses anything in a scrum. A call is made, and everybody shuts the fuck up and does their job. All you can think about as a prop is the guy opposite you and how to shove his head between his knees using nothing but your shoulder. All you can think about as a lock is getting your shoulders just under your front row's arses and driving into them as hard as you can. The only workplace environment I've ever been in that comes close to replicating the psychological feeling of scrummaging was the lunchtime rush at Burger King when I was seventeen years old.

Calling a staff meeting a scrum is insulting to rugby players, indicative of a total lack of knowledge of what a scrum actually is, and a bullshit attempt to imbue management theory with a badass aura it absolutely does not deserve.

and always protect your hooker.


please.

marty998

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #398 on: August 31, 2018, 04:47:25 AM »
Afterwards the employees presumably go off and tiger team their woke leverage with the rest of the solution architects...
In a scrum, with agile.
@TheGrimSqueaker and @plainjane. As Scrum Master of this Scrum Team I am disappointed in the lack of Scrum Values you are both displaying.

I'm going to write this up on the Scrum Board.

Now go work on your Sprint Backlog before we conduct our Sprint Retrospective and Sprint Reviews of this debacle.

I apologize for not living the team values or following the spirit of the social contract that we all wrote out together at the beginning of this project. I hang my head and have returned to reviewing Trello cards.
I come here to get away from this!

I am so, so thankful that I have absolutely no idea what any of this means.

Today I am up for a whole day of meetings according these scrum buzzwords. Puke!
Good to hear that more normal (MMM) people find the scrum business a provoking BS method.

I had enough of the buzzword baloney shit sandwiches during my time at HoneyHell doing Six Sigma. When I left that shithole, swore that if any company that I worked for decided to implement stupid shit like that, it was time to move on.

I work with code developers and operations engineers, we use git and terraform and aws cli and a lot of devops tools, but we don't do the stupid scrumbumfucks and agile-cluster-fuckery-yoga-twistys.

Fuck all these idiocracies that claim to increase productivity and being told by non-technical people running dumbfuck meetings how to develop code. Dumbass mofos need to bumblefuck doubletime and gtfo to bumfuckegypt.

At least we've stopped trying to be ahead of the curve. My company talks a lot now about being simpler, yet at last count we have 1800 different products.

Linea_Norway

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Re: My Soon-To-Be Millionaire Family Members
« Reply #399 on: August 31, 2018, 04:53:19 AM »
Calling a staff meeting a scrum is insulting to rugby players, indicative of a total lack of knowledge of what a scrum actually is, and a bullshit attempt to imbue management theory with a badass aura it absolutely does not deserve.

Can you please send a rugby team over here to tell my boss that?

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!