Author Topic: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House  (Read 7977 times)

eljefe-speaks

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This is a great reminder of the need to save FU money. This Slate's advice column. I particularly like the part where the writer equates his husband's desire to leave a soul-crushing job with a mental disorder.

"Q: Worried about husband's career ambitions."

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/06/dear_prudence_my_husband_refuses_to_go_back_to_his_high_paying_career.html


slugline

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2017, 07:50:27 AM »
For more un-Mustachian follies, read the second question in this column too, "Stolen kitchen dreams." That's a good example of someone being sucked into a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses consumerist mindset!

InnTee

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2017, 08:08:50 AM »
At least the advice columnist was sensible!

The Happy Philosopher

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2017, 08:53:14 AM »
“Honey, your last job was so demanding, so all-encompassing, so determined to destroy any semblance of a work-life balance that I think you developed PTSD—so I want you to go to therapy until you can go back to the source of that initial trauma and start all over again.”

Lol!

stackorstarve

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2017, 11:20:04 AM »
Holy shit, these are hilarious. I almost choked on m lunch when I read the stove one. How petty can you get?

bacchi

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2017, 03:06:15 PM »
“Honey, your last job was so demanding, so all-encompassing, so determined to destroy any semblance of a work-life balance that I think you developed PTSD—so I want you to go to therapy until you can go back to the source of that initial trauma and start all over again.”

Lol!

That's straight out of Office Space when Peter and his fiance are talking with a therapist about his lack of ambition and hatred of his job.

patchyfacialhair

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2017, 10:57:06 AM »
The stove one made me laugh. If I had an "ideal" stove, and someone copied me, my reaction would be "hey, you have great taste!"

MandalayVA

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2017, 11:04:35 AM »
The Dear Prudence column has long been a guilty pleasure of mine.

Lila8

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2017, 12:07:27 PM »
“Honey, your last job was so demanding, so all-encompassing, so determined to destroy any semblance of a work-life balance that I think you developed PTSD—so I want you to go to therapy until you can go back to the source of that initial trauma and start all over again.”

Lol!
Seriously. What a horrible and horribly self-absorbed person.

Linea_Norway

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2017, 12:23:47 PM »
A very good reply by the columnist. " He won't go back to that type of job, because no pay is worth your health.". Terrible for that man to have such a demanding spouse who understands so little of what he went through.

SmallCheese

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2017, 05:15:19 PM »
I won't even say Dear Prudence is my guilty pleasure. I'm not even guilty; I unabashedly love that column!

pbkmaine

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2017, 05:34:57 PM »
I won't even say Dear Prudence is my guilty pleasure. I'm not even guilty; I unabashedly love that column!

Yeah, me too.

Eric

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2017, 07:00:21 PM »
Holy fuck.  A dream stove?  Now I've heard it all.  I've long thought the concept of Dream House or Dream Car were idiotic, but a fucking Dream Stove?  Wow.  Just wow.

HappierAtHome

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2017, 07:08:15 PM »
I wouldn't call it a Dream Stove (ugh) but I really want an induction stovetop down the track. Now I'm hoping that if I mention it enough someone else will 'steal' my idea and buy one first, and then I can practice using theirs before spending big on my own...

Mezzie

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #14 on: June 08, 2017, 06:56:03 AM »
I don't think my husband and I ever made any agreements about how much we would make, the lifestyle we would live... I can't imagine it's normal to do so. We make some short-term goals (like when we saved up for three years for a house downpayment), but mostly we do what is interesting,  and we enjoy growing and changing with each other. I would much rather have an unemployed spouse than an unhappy one.

The mind boggles.

Laura33

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2017, 07:08:48 AM »
I don't think my husband and I ever made any agreements about how much we would make, the lifestyle we would live... I can't imagine it's normal to do so. We make some short-term goals (like when we saved up for three years for a house downpayment), but mostly we do what is interesting,  and we enjoy growing and changing with each other. I would much rather have an unemployed spouse than an unhappy one.

The mind boggles.

Yep, this.  I can't imagine even enjoying material crap knowing it came at the expense of my spouse's happiness. 

talltexan

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #16 on: June 08, 2017, 08:28:49 AM »
Four years ago I found myself moving cities, and there was a deep gnawing within me that our family wasn't moving forward if our new house was less expensive than our old house.

I'm really glad I was able to put that feeling to bed, because my wife and I are finding lots of uses for the extra $360 we used to be sending to the bank each month.

acepedro45

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #17 on: June 09, 2017, 01:03:24 PM »
Even Prudie herself suspects the internet of trolling her for reacts and lulz at times. The stove story is particularly hard to swallow.

That said, those are both prime candidates for the beloved "OP is the only one who doesn't see it" thread.

Livingthedream55

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #18 on: June 09, 2017, 01:17:48 PM »
Even Prudie herself suspects the internet of trolling her for reacts and lulz at times. The stove story is particularly hard to swallow.

That said, those are both prime candidates for the beloved "OP is the only one who doesn't see it" thread.

Several of these seems to be trolls.

Linea_Norway

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #19 on: June 11, 2017, 01:07:43 PM »
Yesterday I watched a show on TV about cool houses. One of them was a fantastic desert house in Arizona. It became way more expensive than planned. The wife told the interviewer that she had considered killing her husband, but couldn't do it. He had to stay alive to keep working to pay off the debt.

Yes, these people had great houses, but they had all got much higher cost than ever planned.

talltexan

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #20 on: June 12, 2017, 08:55:34 AM »
In a sense, it sounds like she kinda IS killing her husband...

paddedhat

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #21 on: June 12, 2017, 11:00:04 AM »
We raised our kids next door to a couple that shared our values and had kids of similar ages. Strangely, the wife had a sister that was exactly the person in the first letter, but truly evil.  She wanted it all, and her whipped cowering husband could never keep up.  This bitch really has no soul, or a  shred of ethics. She is a realtor and found a house for the eldest niece, next door.  Shortly after, I get called to take a look at the place. It was a horribly tight market at the time, and it was "in budget" but to anybody with half a clue, it wasn't safe to occupy. The exterior brick chimney was wobbling away from the building when you pushed on it, swaying 4" at the top. The "Nursery" adjacent the master bedroom was accessed by an 18" opening between rooms, no door, no legitimate opening, just a bit of missing wall. The bathroom light was a painter's clamp lamp, above a translucent drop ceiling panel. It didn't fit the tight space, so the old plaster ceiling was bashed out to make room. I could go on with another dozen or so, serious code and life safety issues. When I asked the young girl how she ended up buying a place like this without a home inspection, she corrected me and said that her aunt had found the inspector, who wrote a report that said the place was fine.

One day the sister witch asks if I wanted to build their new mansion? She had blueprints, and a price that she wanted me to beat. I looked the job over, and told her no, I wouldn't beat the price, since the place was nothing but a huge piece of shit, and even the specifications made it clear that the builder was planning on cutting some real eyebrow raising corners, that were common in low end mobile home building, but unheard of, even in economy grade homes, in this market.  She then informs me that she couldn't care about any of that, if I beat the price I could have the job. I later find out that the entire family eventually developed sympathy for the builder who did the job, since she made his life hell. At one point, my neighbors dropped by the site and found the sister witch and the builder looking at prints spread over the hood of his truck. He was smashing his own head into the hood, out of frustration.

So, a woman out there who is upset that her mate won't slowly kill himself to fulfill  he dreams, isn't too hard to believe. Those neighborhood full of matching trophy houses, land rovers in the drive, ski boat in the third garage bay,  and  $50K in CC debt  sitting on the desk inside, got there somehow. In most cases it's both partners acting stupid, but sometimes the whole show is a result of some fool slowly grinding them self  to death to keep their partner happy.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2017, 11:03:46 AM by paddedhat »

protostache

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #22 on: June 12, 2017, 06:30:41 PM »
Before she was Dear Prudence, Mallory Ortberg was one half of The Toast, sincerely one of the funniest sites I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Y'all might get a kick out of it. The Children's Stories Made Horrific is one of my favorites now that I have a kid.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2017, 06:34:44 PM by protostache »

Lila8

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #23 on: June 13, 2017, 02:09:10 PM »


So, a woman out there who is upset that her mate won't slowly kill himself to fulfill  he dreams, isn't too hard to believe. Those neighborhood full of matching trophy houses, land rovers in the drive, ski boat in the third garage bay,  and  $50K in CC debt  sitting on the desk inside, got there somehow. In most cases it's both partners acting stupid, but sometimes the whole show is a result of some fool slowly grinding them self  to death to keep their partner happy.

Except the person in Prudie's post wasn't a woman. It was a man upset his husband won't slowly kill himself for a well-paying job.

paddedhat

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Re: My Husband Must Suffer in His Career So We Can Have a Big House
« Reply #24 on: June 13, 2017, 02:21:24 PM »


So, a woman out there who is upset that her mate won't slowly kill himself to fulfill  he dreams, isn't too hard to believe. Those neighborhood full of matching trophy houses, land rovers in the drive, ski boat in the third garage bay,  and  $50K in CC debt  sitting on the desk inside, got there somehow. In most cases it's both partners acting stupid, but sometimes the whole show is a result of some fool slowly grinding them self  to death to keep their partner happy.

Except the person in Prudie's post wasn't a woman. It was a man upset his husband won't slowly kill himself for a well-paying job.

Ah, you are correct. I am guilty of reaching a conclusion without reading the entire post  from the advice column. As my last sentence clearly states, that fact changes nothing. Doesn't matter what pairing of partners we are discussing, deciding that you have a right to the ill gotten gains of your partner grinding them self to death, in service to their career, and your greed, isn't unusual and a real gripping slow motion train wreck to watch.