Author Topic: Life "forces you into it".  (Read 34866 times)

EricL

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #100 on: July 14, 2015, 10:45:51 PM »
Thank you.

But of course you just threw more raw meat into the water.  We'll be lucky if we see another relevant post for the rest of this page.

Skalm

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #101 on: July 16, 2015, 11:05:26 PM »
Regarding clothing:

Many fiscally responsible people are just not interested in clothing. At all. No interest. Therefore, such folks cover themselves with clothing mainly to be minimally socially acceptable and not noticed when leaving their house, as showing up naked or in a bathrobe and shower shoes would lead to job loss and possibly arrest. I have worked with many engineers like this.

Such folks generally do not care to have their appearance or apparel commented upon. And if one doesn't care about clothing, wearing what is least likely to be noticed depends upon where you live. Where I live, at work/the airport/on the street the "pay no attention to me" uniform for men is khaki pants and a neutral colored polo or button down shirt. Exactly like the patio party photo. I have a colleague who has never had a car or even a driver's license, saves all his money, and cooks for his hobby, but he could pull up a chair at that party and no one would notice him. Where my brother lives, the "pay no attention to me" uniform is jeans and a plain, dark colored t-shirt or flannel shirt. The khakis would get you noticed, so I bet my colleague would change into his jeans and a t-shirt. Just because he doesn't want people to think about what he is wearing . . . ever.

When in Rome, as they say, blend. That doesn't mean you have to take out a car note, of course.

I identify with this a lot. I hate buying clothes, but I know I have to as my old stuff shrinks or I grow out of it or it wears out. I feel like I'm throwing money away when I buy clothes, usually the deep cut discount stuff from Ross or deep sales that turn $120 last season jeans and pants into $15. I'm going to make a horrible engineer because I'll be skating by on the bare minimum of the dress code because I don't see the point of dropping $200+ on an outfit. Maybe one time for a full suit, but I'm usually wearing $60 or less in clothes at any time.

On OP's thread... what was it again? People complaining that masked men were bursting into their house when they reached a certain level of income and forcing them to buy SUVs? Life forces you into it... I guess I was really lucky to dodge some bullets with materialistic ex girlfriends to find my current wife. The first time I brought her home was to a bedroom I was renting in the basement of a married couple. My possessions included a shikibuton, a computer desk, my computer, and the box my computer came in holding my clothes on it. Didn't need much else, and she really loved it instead of becoming repulsed like previous girlfriends.

On the flip side, my mother... hasn't put a penny into retirement because she has to have a car payment. The day she pays off the loan, she trades it in for another one with a payment. My boss does that too, as soon as a car starts to have a problem, she trades it in and rolls any negative equity into the new loan. Her reasoning is that her husband is an engineer and they can afford the payment that gives a reliable car.

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #102 on: July 17, 2015, 07:42:22 AM »
All the work we did to squash that tangent, and here you are dredging it up again. Bad Joe! ;)

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #103 on: July 17, 2015, 07:45:30 AM »
That post may have been strident, but he or she does have a point. It really is not cool in this day and age to refer to adult women as girls. I think it shows or encourages a tendency to actually think of them as girls.

And yet I have a number of females around me who refer to themselves and their friends as "girls". Maybe this is a regional thing? Maybe this is a descriptor for females that don't take life too seriously - though they have their shit together???

Either way I'm not losing nay sleep over it.

Back on topic: when i started college (paying for it myself) I didn't even know that the loans could be spent on frivolous stuff until a couple of my friends went on a computer building frenzy one year with loan money. I ended up going on the loan route for one semester but paid it back before graduation.

Making Cookies

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #104 on: July 17, 2015, 08:12:17 AM »
This is the first I've heard of "girl" being derogatory. Actually a turn-off for me on dating sites is those women who want a "man, not a boy". They sound incredibly high maintenance. Yikes.
I prefer to use the term "dude". All boys, men, males, guys, and dirty old men are just "dudes". Girls (women, females, gals (oh gag!), and senile old Matrons are "dudes" too. I'm from Calif.

OP - As to your post, realize that women have the same issues when it comes to dating as men do. Most are very non-mustashian, follow the herd, dance to the tune of money and what kind of image it can buy kind of guys. Equally hard to meet like minded males as it is females.

Use whatever term of endearment you like. If he or she gets offended then they just gave you a peek into their brain. Its a chance to move on to people that fit into your life better.

Around here girl, sweetie and honey are usually friendly words. Yes, they can be altered for an argument starter but in my experience - b/c I rarely argue with anyone - they aren't. I LIKE that the grocery clerk calls me sweetie when I come in and buy a few days of supplies for my family. A little small talk, she remembers me from the last time and addresses me as me sweetie. Probably calls 50 or 100 other guys sweetie too. Big deal. Am not flirting. Just making small talk. Welcome to the south. I love it here. Rough edges and all.

I do find myself agreeing with an earlier poster who said that many (most? ALL?) of the folks we interact with on a daily basis who have all the "right" things are probably just a month or two away from bankruptcy were something to stand our economy on it's ear. The more people I get to know well confirms that suspicion. It usually comes out as a $750 car repair that they complain having to finance in some way. You don't have any savings? You know we could have made that repair together for about $75 - right? I don't mind helping... 

Making Cookies

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #105 on: July 17, 2015, 08:24:20 AM »
Maybe one time for a full suit, but I'm usually wearing $60 or less in clothes at any time.

On the flip side, my mother... hasn't put a penny into retirement because she has to have a car payment. The day she pays off the loan, she trades it in for another one with a payment. My boss does that too, as soon as a car starts to have a problem, she trades it in and rolls any negative equity into the new loan. Her reasoning is that her husband is an engineer and they can afford the payment that gives a reliable car.

Cheaper clothing is better with me too. To a point of course.

Being close to a car hopper can be good sometimes if you have the cash ready. When they find the trade in value - buy it for that price if you can - for cash. What's fun is if they are talking about reliability - and you get another decade out of the vehicle without much effort.

We've had very good service for nearly 300K miles and 17+ years out of our main car. Never stranded. Very few repairs - mostly just maintenance. I don't see the worry people have over a 50K mile whatever if they have treated it well and serviced it on time.

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #106 on: July 17, 2015, 08:28:08 AM »
People don't have to already be living a lifestyle you like to be potential partners. They just have to be open to self-examination, which is a character trait far more important than one's current net worth trajectory or lifestyle decisions.

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #107 on: July 17, 2015, 09:39:52 AM »
^ :-) Jeff Goldblum should be in every thread. Or at least every thread that involves SofaKing.



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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #108 on: July 19, 2015, 03:22:27 PM »
That post may have been strident, but he or she does have a point. It really is not cool in this day and age to refer to adult women as girls. I think it shows or encourages a tendency to actually think of them as girls.

And yet I have a number of females around me who refer to themselves and their friends as "girls". Maybe this is a regional thing? Maybe this is a descriptor for females that don't take life too seriously - though they have their shit together???

Either way I'm not losing nay sleep over it.

Back on topic: when i started college (paying for it myself) I didn't even know that the loans could be spent on frivolous stuff until a couple of my friends went on a computer building frenzy one year with loan money. I ended up going on the loan route for one semester but paid it back before graduation.
Or, it is a cultural indoctrination in which both genders are exposed and not all women are aware of the indoctrination any more than all men are.  The cultural training is still there.

YoungInvestor

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #109 on: July 20, 2015, 06:19:26 AM »
That post may have been strident, but he or she does have a point. It really is not cool in this day and age to refer to adult women as girls. I think it shows or encourages a tendency to actually think of them as girls.

And yet I have a number of females around me who refer to themselves and their friends as "girls". Maybe this is a regional thing? Maybe this is a descriptor for females that don't take life too seriously - though they have their shit together???

Either way I'm not losing nay sleep over it.

Back on topic: when i started college (paying for it myself) I didn't even know that the loans could be spent on frivolous stuff until a couple of my friends went on a computer building frenzy one year with loan money. I ended up going on the loan route for one semester but paid it back before graduation.
Or, it is a cultural indoctrination in which both genders are exposed and not all women are aware of the indoctrination any more than all men are.  The cultural training is still there.

Have you considered the possibility that caring so deeply about a widely-used word (that obviously isn't trying to describe fully-grown women as infants, but I digress) might have resulted from a different type of cultural training.

I have referred to women as "girls", and never meant anything offensive, or to devalue their opinions/actions when doing so.

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #110 on: July 20, 2015, 07:26:39 AM »
That post may have been strident, but he or she does have a point. It really is not cool in this day and age to refer to adult women as girls. I think it shows or encourages a tendency to actually think of them as girls.

And yet I have a number of females around me who refer to themselves and their friends as "girls". Maybe this is a regional thing? Maybe this is a descriptor for females that don't take life too seriously - though they have their shit together???

Either way I'm not losing nay sleep over it.

Back on topic: when i started college (paying for it myself) I didn't even know that the loans could be spent on frivolous stuff until a couple of my friends went on a computer building frenzy one year with loan money. I ended up going on the loan route for one semester but paid it back before graduation.
Or, it is a cultural indoctrination in which both genders are exposed and not all women are aware of the indoctrination any more than all men are.  The cultural training is still there.

Have you considered the possibility that caring so deeply about a widely-used word (that obviously isn't trying to describe fully-grown women as infants, but I digress) might have resulted from a different type of cultural training.

I have referred to women as "girls", and never meant anything offensive, or to devalue their opinions/actions when doing so.
You may not have meant to be offensive but what you intend your words to mean may not be the way in which they are heard.  And if the women hearing those words are either too polite to correct you or uninterested in re-educating you, you will never learn better.

Just because a word is widely used does not mean that it is not offensive.  You've quite possibly already changed your language uses around race and religion in your lifetime, or seen others change theirs.  One day you and the people around you will quite possibly catch up with changes around sexist and genderist language as well.  If not, you will probably find your social circles shrinking until you are only talking to people who have the same attitudes as you, and will be pitied as a social dinosaur by many others.

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #111 on: July 20, 2015, 07:39:58 AM »
That post may have been strident, but he or she does have a point. It really is not cool in this day and age to refer to adult women as girls. I think it shows or encourages a tendency to actually think of them as girls.

And yet I have a number of females around me who refer to themselves and their friends as "girls". Maybe this is a regional thing? Maybe this is a descriptor for females that don't take life too seriously - though they have their shit together???

Either way I'm not losing nay sleep over it.

Back on topic: when i started college (paying for it myself) I didn't even know that the loans could be spent on frivolous stuff until a couple of my friends went on a computer building frenzy one year with loan money. I ended up going on the loan route for one semester but paid it back before graduation.
Or, it is a cultural indoctrination in which both genders are exposed and not all women are aware of the indoctrination any more than all men are.  The cultural training is still there.

Have you considered the possibility that caring so deeply about a widely-used word (that obviously isn't trying to describe fully-grown women as infants, but I digress) might have resulted from a different type of cultural training.

I have referred to women as "girls", and never meant anything offensive, or to devalue their opinions/actions when doing so.
You may not have meant to be offensive but what you intend your words to mean may not be the way in which they are heard.  And if the women hearing those words are either too polite to correct you or uninterested in re-educating you, you will never learn better.

Just because a word is widely used does not mean that it is not offensive.  You've quite possibly already changed your language uses around race and religion in your lifetime, or seen others change theirs.  One day you and the people around you will quite possibly catch up with changes around sexist and genderist language as well.  If not, you will probably find your social circles shrinking until you are only talking to people who have the same attitudes as you, and will be pitied as a social dinosaur by many others.

I feel like discussions like this one are part of what helps the entire culture realize that what they are used to, and don't consider offensive, nevertheless has limiting effects on themselves and other people when it's done so pervasively. It's all part of a continuum. I feel like I'm paying my dues by participating and not letting everything just go by. For instance, I'm sure black people once let the n-word just go by because they didn't want to rock the boat in that particular moment. But now, with the passage of decades, we all realize that that's a nasty thing to say. Calling women "girls" is more subtle and not as nasty, but people, seriously, language has immense power. Culture shapes language, and language shapes culture. Pushing back against things that are either offensive or simply limiting (as in minimizing womens' stature as adults by calling them girls) often brings "why are you so sensitive?" type responses. Well, we are sensitive because, in spite of many people's knee-jerk reactions born of routine and expectation, it does matter. In time, people will come around.

zephyr911

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #112 on: July 20, 2015, 07:45:25 AM »
Or, it is a cultural indoctrination in which both genders are exposed and not all women are aware of the indoctrination any more than all men are.  The cultural training is still there.
FTLOG, dead conversation is dead. But as long as we're waking zombies, this reasoning is on part with insisting all vaginal intercourse is rape, even if the woman thinks she wants it. In this view, neither intention nor effect is even relevant; men are demeaning women even if neither of them knows it. The offense is universally presumed and any disagreement is validation. At this point, such a stance is immune to factual objections.

But on the off chance you're interested in factual objections, here's mine: language is in a constant state of evolution, not just in the sense of subtle connotation but actual denotation. The words we use today all evolved from earlier forms, and some have moved from street slang to technical use and vice versa just in a couple of centuries. Because of that, any generalization as rigid as yours is bound to fail through time and variation in word usage. Thus, I favor a context-sensitive stance that acknowledges the social realities of communication, where respect is defined not by a sequence of consonants and vowels but by attitude and effect.
Have you considered the possibility that caring so deeply about a widely-used word (that obviously isn't trying to describe fully-grown women as infants, but I digress) might have resulted from a different type of cultural training.
+1

Gin1984

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #113 on: July 20, 2015, 08:06:02 AM »
Or, it is a cultural indoctrination in which both genders are exposed and not all women are aware of the indoctrination any more than all men are.  The cultural training is still there.
FTLOG, dead conversation is dead. But as long as we're waking zombies, this reasoning is on part with insisting all vaginal intercourse is rape, even if the woman thinks she wants it. In this view, neither intention nor effect is even relevant; men are demeaning women even if neither of them knows it. The offense is universally presumed and any disagreement is validation. At this point, such a stance is immune to factual objections.

But on the off chance you're interested in factual objections, here's mine: language is in a constant state of evolution, not just in the sense of subtle connotation but actual denotation. The words we use today all evolved from earlier forms, and some have moved from street slang to technical use and vice versa just in a couple of centuries. Because of that, any generalization as rigid as yours is bound to fail through time and variation in word usage. Thus, I favor a context-sensitive stance that acknowledges the social realities of communication, where respect is defined not by a sequence of consonants and vowels but by attitude and effect.
Have you considered the possibility that caring so deeply about a widely-used word (that obviously isn't trying to describe fully-grown women as infants, but I digress) might have resulted from a different type of cultural training.
+1
Actually, it is not similar because your strawman has no actual data to support that hypothesis and the fact that using girls as a descriptor puts down women does.  The idea that using a word that implies that the person you are speaking to is young  when they are not, has been researched.  We have determined that there are effects (negative in this case) to how we refer to something.  Why do you think we no longer call black men, boys?  Perhaps because it is the same thing, implying a superiority over the person you are calling a child.  Your disagreement actually had no factual basis, it had an opinion stated from a factual basis which included an assumption.
Actual facts would come from data, for example a research thesis on this question which shows a difference is how a fictional person is viewed just by changing the girl to woman:  http://scholarworks.uni.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1072&context=etd
There are many similar examples.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2015, 08:12:49 AM by Gin1984 »

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #114 on: July 20, 2015, 09:42:51 AM »

zephyr911

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #115 on: July 20, 2015, 09:50:11 AM »
Actual facts would come from data, for example a research thesis on this question which shows a difference is how a fictional person is viewed just by changing the girl to woman:  http://scholarworks.uni.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1072&context=etd
There are many similar examples.
The proven existence of sexist sentiment, in a finite proportion of participants in a study group, fails to support your assertion that the use of a particular word, by all people, in all contexts, in all instances, constitutes sexism.

It is no more logically sound than insisting all vaginal intercourse is rape because rape is known to occur.

zephyr911

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #116 on: July 20, 2015, 09:52:40 AM »
JUST DROP IT
I know, I know. This is a dumb argument and I was glad when it died the first time, and the second time, etc.

I hate myself for doing it but I feel compelled to point out awful reasoning when I see it.

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #117 on: July 20, 2015, 12:21:52 PM »
insisting all vaginal intercourse is rape

That's a straw man. That opinion is very very fringe. The fact that a few feminists have a crazy idea shouldn't be used as part of an argument to dismiss another feminist position.

(again: I'm not weighing in on "girl.")

zephyr911

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #118 on: July 20, 2015, 03:17:00 PM »
insisting all vaginal intercourse is rape

That's a straw man. That opinion is very very fringe. The fact that a few feminists have a crazy idea shouldn't be used as part of an argument to dismiss another feminist position.

(again: I'm not weighing in on "girl.")
Not even close.

It would be a strawman if I claimed it was representative of feminism; here, the comparison serves the opposite purpose. *Neither* of these claims are justifiable mainstream feminist ideas. And I explained why I consider them analogous: because both take a known thing that everyone agrees is wrong and attempt to redefine it such that its prevalence is vastly increased.

I consider myself a feminist, and I think both the claims in question are a disservice to feminism because they give critics ammunition to discredit the whole concept, when in fact it is fair and reasonable. IOW, it's fodder for regressive pundits and their followers to write off feminists as 'feminazis' and set human rights back another generation.

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #119 on: July 20, 2015, 04:42:48 PM »
insisting all vaginal intercourse is rape

That's a straw man. That opinion is very very fringe. The fact that a few feminists have a crazy idea shouldn't be used as part of an argument to dismiss another feminist position.

(again: I'm not weighing in on "girl.")
Not even close.

It would be a strawman if I claimed it was representative of feminism; here, the comparison serves the opposite purpose. *Neither* of these claims are justifiable mainstream feminist ideas. And I explained why I consider them analogous: because both take a known thing that everyone agrees is wrong and attempt to redefine it such that its prevalence is vastly increased.

I consider myself a feminist, and I think both the claims in question are a disservice to feminism because they give critics ammunition to discredit the whole concept, when in fact it is fair and reasonable. IOW, it's fodder for regressive pundits and their followers to write off feminists as 'feminazis' and set human rights back another generation.

OK, I did misread your argument, but I guess I still think you're generally wrong. Wanting people to examine the language they use and think about how it might affect others in ways they're not aware of is, if I may use your words, "fair and reasonable." Yes, making a sweeping commandment about it is unwise and unlikely to convince, but at the same time, suggesting that it discredits feminism because it's so out there is just off base.

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #120 on: July 21, 2015, 10:29:42 AM »
Wanting people to examine the language they use and think about how it might affect others in ways they're not aware of is, if I may use your words, "fair and reasonable."
Now there's common ground we can totally agree on. I may have assumed my support for that idea was clear, but if not, this is me saying so. :)
Quote
Yes, making a sweeping commandment about it is unwise and unlikely to convince, but at the same time, suggesting that it discredits feminism because it's so out there is just off base.
In my world, the former implies the latter, though not necessarily to any massive degree; I assert that it does so, and that's all. But you know, we can agree to disagree. Lots of room in the world for that.

*apologies to everyone tired of seeing this thread pop up again*

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #121 on: July 21, 2015, 10:01:40 PM »
Hi Admins!

Can you split this thread and move the grossly off-topic material into its own thread?  Preferably in the Off-Topic category...


SwordGuy

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #122 on: July 21, 2015, 10:14:15 PM »
There are two opposing viewpoints behind a very serious cultural battle in western civilization.

One one end of the spectrum is the "Life forces you" viewpoint.   It is passive in orientation.  It is reactive.   The person who subscribes to this belief may not make any serious plans at all.  Or, if plans are made, they are basically "what the rest of the herd is believed to be doing".  The person does not control what happens to them in life, it just happens.


At the opposite spectrum are those that believe that they need to fully learn about their social, political, scientific and economic environment and plan for success based upon the insights they gain from that study.  They are active in orientation.   The person who follows this belief system makes plans and continually refines them as new data or circumstances arise.   "Improvise!  Adapt!  Overcome!" pretty much sums up this approach to life.

Of course, real life isn't that simple.  Real Life (TM) is somewhere between those two extremes.   

But I believe that most successful people have the second viewpoint and act accordingly.    They attempt to control those variables they can control, influence those they cannot, and deal with the rest as best they can.

And I think they are completely right to do so.

I've also learned that it's extremely difficult to get someone who sees the world from the opposite viewpoint to even grasp the concepts that the more pro-active person espouses, much less accept and follow them.

And I've never, ever, understood why.  It seems so patently obvious that even our cavemen ancestors figured it out.  (Or at least some of them did!)

zephyr911

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #123 on: July 22, 2015, 01:26:38 PM »
Hi Admins!

Can you split this thread and move the grossly off-topic material into its own thread?  Preferably in the Off-Topic category...
We're done, I promise. :P

NumberJohnny5

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #124 on: July 22, 2015, 03:13:31 PM »
Well, when I call someone a...

We're done, I promise. :P

NOOOOOOOOOO! I had a good one too! Very witty. Included wombats.

Life does force us to do things sometimes. But often we just think we're forced to do something such as never starting a sentence with a conjunction, that's a rule I can do without.

Life (probably) didn't force you to have a baby, but ok, you have one. Life may now be forcing you to take care of that baby, but the baby does NOT require a huge house, or 3 ton SUV, brand-new Levi jeans with Nike shoes (and whatever brand shirt is required...Gap? Old Navy? I'm not up on the trends).

Maybe you're in a rural area and really want/need to be near family. Ok, so to get a decent job and move up you might "need" a car. Life still isn't forcing you to buy the aforementioned SUV, especially not a brand new one for 0 down and $570/mo for 72 months. Borrow a car for a bit? Work your way up to a $3k sem-reliable car? Save those car non-payments and pay $15k in cash for something really really nice? Not that you need something that fancy, but still...that $15k car was someone's $40k+ car not that long ago. You can have "nice" things without paying out the nose for it.

You might need to help family, but you can decide what kind of help and to what degree. You can choose to flaunt all the money you (don't?) have, now you'll be expected to be generous with your funds (then again, if people know you're up to your eyeballs in debt, they might not get upset when you can't spot them a $20...especially if YOU'RE constantly hitting them up for money).

Case in point, I'm planning on helping a family member save some money on their monthly expenses. One of my ideas is to have this person save an equivalent amount in a savings account until there's enough to fund actual emergencies. Then they can blow the money saved (not what's in the emergency fund) on frivolous stuff. Much preferred to me just handing out cash, or taking the time to save them money but still have to worry about how they'll fund inevitable emergencies.

Trudie

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #125 on: July 23, 2015, 02:56:12 PM »
Context is important.  I once objected in a staff meeting that we referred to women who worked in the office as "girls."  It bothers me immensely in a professional setting.  I also think that we tend to most often refer to women in front line positions as "office girls" or "the girls up front."  I think in minimizes them and the importance of what they do.  This is borne out by other behaviors (such as not giving them decent raises) -- not just what is said in staff meetings.

On the other hand, I will be the first -- in a social setting and with my peers (for instance, meeting friends at a bar after work) to say, "Hey girls."

Words are important, I won't deny that.  But I'm more interested in what people do, than what they say.  If words are used as a weapon to demonstrate power ("she's just an office girl") then I have a problem. 

My dad still refers to us (his daughters) as "the girls."  I get it.  But if any guy ever jerked us around, including a husband or dating partner, he would be the first to point out sexist bullshit.

There are all kinds of situations.... It's kind of difficult to parse.

EricP

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #126 on: July 23, 2015, 02:59:23 PM »
Wait... People are still talking about sexism?  Shit, I thought it was safe to come back into this thread a week and a half later.  Guess I'll need to wait another week before checking in on it again.

Trudie

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #127 on: July 23, 2015, 03:05:29 PM »
Done.  Can we put three asterisks at the bottom?  How do you put a stake in these things?

ender

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #128 on: July 24, 2015, 07:00:35 PM »
Done.  Can we put three asterisks at the bottom?  How do you put a stake in these things?

the internet "forces you into it".

powersuitrecall

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #129 on: July 30, 2015, 07:19:36 AM »
"Life forces you into it" - It's all a matter of perspective.  People will justify their actions with whatever narrative suits them. For instance, in my case:

Live Event:
Moved in with GF with one parking spot & started a new job close-by. I did not immediately qualify for parking at the new job and when I did, it would be expensive.
Forced Change:
Sell a car and bike to work.

Life Event:
A horrific, overpriced cafeteria at new job (and no car to escape).
Forced Change:
Bring a packed lunch.

Life Event:
A baby!
Forced change:
Re-evaluate priorities and discover that time at home is much more valuable than working.  We started saving like Hamburgler (obscure Ottawa Hockey reference).

Life Event:
2 kids!
Forced change:
A picnic at the park is much more enjoyable than an evening of fine-dining.

MissionPossible

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #130 on: August 01, 2015, 12:11:29 AM »
Just so you ---- know, absolutely zero that was said in here will have any influence on the way I talk. Good on ya though. Keep fighting the good fight.

[MOD EDIT: That's quite enough.]
« Last Edit: August 01, 2015, 01:17:32 PM by FrugalToque »

Interest Compound

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #131 on: August 01, 2015, 12:53:17 PM »
Just so you girls know, absolutely zero that was said in here will have any influence on the way I talk. Good on ya though. Keep fighting the good fight.



It has definitely had an influence on how I talk. Thanks for the insight everyone!

MissionPossible, you can claim ignorance for the first time, but purposely calling them "girls" in your latest post, fully knowing they take offense to it, crosses the line in my opinion. The forum rules state:

1. Don't be a jerk.
2. Attack an argument, not a person.
3. Your posts must not break any laws.
4. Be respectful of the site and other members.
5. No spam.
6. Use good taste.

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/forum-information-faqs/forum-rules/

I find your post to be in violation of rules #1 and #4.

FrugalToque

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Re: Life "forces you into it".
« Reply #132 on: August 01, 2015, 01:25:09 PM »
That's quite enough on the "girl" bit.

It's clearly an inappropriate way to address a full grown woman in a professional environment.  You're moving her from the position of an adult to that of a child, as has been pointed out in this thread, probably many times already.

Our culture has enough nonsense surrounding "throw like a girl" and "run like a girl", we don't need to perpetuate these stereotypes or this kind of infantilizing here.

I'm aware that many women don't find it problematic.  That's great for them.  But for the rest of the women, the ones who are trying to get ahead professionally and are instead told to go fetch coffee, someone saying "I've never been affected by that, so it's not true" has a deep, false ring to it.

Let's end this nonsense and treat each other like grown ups.

Thank you,
Toque.