Author Topic: Lady troubles:women who are in debt but spend on... (sorry public bitchy moment)  (Read 28871 times)

sheepstache

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Plenty of the examples above that I was responding to are bona fide savings.  Like not going to the mall to spend the $1000 in your pocket. That is all.

Aaaaand, that's why I was pointing out people were arguing over two different things, yes?

I have a feeling you're just shooting the shit with me because you find my pedantic act amusing.  I've been told my pedantic act is amusing.

lithy

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brand new porches every seven years.

At first I wanted to talk about porn, but now I'm interested in what kind of lumber this guy is using that he can't even build a porch that lasts longer than seven years. 

;)

dragoncar

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brand new porches every seven years.

At first I wanted to talk about porn, but now I'm interested in what kind of lumber this guy is using that he can't even build a porch that lasts longer than seven years. 

;)

Some of us actually care about the environment, so we compost our porches.

Goldielocks

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brand new porches every seven years.

At first I wanted to talk about porn, but now I'm interested in what kind of lumber this guy is using that he can't even build a porch that lasts longer than seven years. 

;)
You need to stain or seal the wood, people...

Lol

LalsConstant

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How did a lighthearted observation about gendered spending patterns turn into a conversation about men using explicit adult products turn into a semantics debate...  oh internet I just adore you sometimes.

JoyBlogette

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brand new porches every seven years.

At first I wanted to talk about porn, but now I'm interested in what kind of lumber this guy is using that he can't even build a porch that lasts longer than seven years. 

;)

Bwhahahaha!  Hilarious.  I just spit out my coffee.

MrsPotts

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brand new porches every seven years.

At first I wanted to talk about porn, but now I'm interested in what kind of lumber this guy is using that he can't even build a porch that lasts longer than seven years. 

;)

Aren't porn and lumber the same thing?

sekritdino

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Sister IL has probably $90k in student loans and another $10k+ in credit card debt. Got lip injections. She looks exactly the same to me.  *face palm*

Gerard

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Eventually our socially conditioned beauty myths, male and female, become so ingrained that we don't even see them any more. Why do we men shave our faces? Who are we trying to look like? Who else could it be except prepubescent boys, or women? Do we (or women) think that this is an attractive and necessary look?

Have we always thought this way? Or have the standards for acceptable body maintenance changed as new technology is introduced and marketed, in the same way as housekeeping and clothing standards have changed?


fartface

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My mother-in-law  was astonished I didn't use the 30% off coupon Kohl's mailed me.

"How can you beat 30% savings?" She screeched?

Easy. By staying home and saving 100%.

philby85

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Eventually our socially conditioned beauty myths, male and female, become so ingrained that we don't even see them any more. Why do we men shave our faces? Who are we trying to look like? Who else could it be except prepubescent boys, or women? Do we (or women) think that this is an attractive and necessary look?

I shave because (in no particular order)
1) It's cooler in summer.
2) Food doesn't get stuck in it after a messy meal.
3) My wife doesn't like kissing me when I have a beard (it's prickly).

rocksinmyhead

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Eventually our socially conditioned beauty myths, male and female, become so ingrained that we don't even see them any more. Why do we men shave our faces? Who are we trying to look like? Who else could it be except prepubescent boys, or women? Do we (or women) think that this is an attractive and necessary look?

I shave because (in no particular order)
1) It's cooler in summer.
2) Food doesn't get stuck in it after a messy meal.
3) My wife doesn't like kissing me when I have a beard (it's prickly).

good point, those are all practical reasons. similarly, the one summer I worked at a Girl Scout camp I gave up on most hair removal because it was a hassle and no one else cared, but I still shaved my pits because it was hot out and I felt like I smelled worse if I didn't.

I do think it can be surprisingly tricky to suss out what you're doing for yourself and what you're doing for other people (although doing stuff "for other people" may not always be negative/pointless/wasteful, as with your example about your wife not liking prickly kisses... on the flip side, when we started dating my boyfriend only had a beard maybe 15-20% of the time, now he has one 80-90% of the time just for me because I like it so much :))

sheepstache

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Someone told me that female shaving became a thing during WWII.  With fewer men in the country, razor makers needed a new audience to sell to.  No idea if it's true.

Spartana

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Someone told me that female shaving became a thing during WWII.  With fewer men in the country, razor makers needed a new audience to sell to.  No idea if it's true.
I'd think that with fewer men around there would be less women feeling the need to shave :-)!

Actually I believe that most metal that was previously used for razor blades during WWII was used for weapons and ammo manufacturing. Could be wrong there but seems I read that somewhere.

Just googled this and it's true. Big metal shortages.http://www.sarahsundin.com/make-it-do-metal-shortages-during-world-war-ii/
« Last Edit: August 19, 2014, 03:32:08 PM by Spartana »

eyesonthehorizon

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... I do think it can be surprisingly tricky to suss out what you're doing for yourself and what you're doing for other people ...
Oh THIS THIS THIS, ten thousand times. Mustachians, do you hear this? Consumerism is hardly the only shackle we can throw off within this rebellious little subculture.

Eventually our socially conditioned beauty myths, male and female, become so ingrained that we don't even see them any more. Why do we men shave our faces? Who are we trying to look like? Who else could it be except prepubescent boys, or women? Do we (or women) think that this is an attractive and necessary look?

Have we always thought this way? Or have the standards for acceptable body maintenance changed as new technology is introduced and marketed, in the same way as housekeeping and clothing standards have changed?
Short answer, yes, the standards have changed. Short hair and no facial fuzz on men is straight-up due to the military - it's easier to look "standardized" if your hair is so short as to show neither color nor texture, and RESPECTABLE men were in the Services in the first half of the 1900s. Before that, beards were de rigueur for centuries, on and off. I encouraged my SO to try growing his beard (and hair!) out - I was attracted to him, not his haircut. Neither of us liked how much time he had to spend keeping clean-shaven and I'm usually in the role of telling him I really do not dislike his scruff when he grumbles about needing to shave.

Likewise I find epilation of (female) legs costly and stupid and founded mostly on selling women the idea that we can only be attractive if we spend lots of time and money MODIFYING ourselves from our original format. I still DO it occasionally - but I'm conflicted and annoyed about it, it hardly feels like a choice I'm making really freely; it's under huge pressure of being called things like "disgusting" quite loudly in public, a phenomenon I've witnessed far too many times in the past from people I had mistaken for kind or reasonable human beings up to that point.

A lot of this policing happens within genders, too; a way of one-upping each other or appealing to an outside authority of "standards" to put each other down. It's very disappointing to see, but sometimes it's a good opportunity to put your own "standards" to work: is anyone who would be that mindlessly shallow, or that casually cruel, worth spending one more minute of your time around?

greaper007

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I'm a millennial (barely  at 34).    I'm also considered fairly attractive by most people.   Which was confirmed by the fact that I was paid as a model at various point in my life.   And I also love porn and sex with my wife as much as possible.     I only say this to prove that I'm not a strange fetishist.

Ladies, stop shaving, stop losing too much weight and stop worrying about some sag in your boobs.    I think a full bush is super sexy, the ideal size is somewhere between a 6 and a 12, and big post pregnancy boobs are way hotter.    Men don't know it, but they like curves.   Every study in existence confirms this.    Pubic and armpit hair traps natural pheromones that turn us on and they confirm sexual maturity.   The boobs, there's nothing worse than looking at fake boobs.    Boobs are made of fat, when they look and feel like a softball they stop becoming breasts. 

Your bodies are already fantastic, don't ruin them because some uptight gay men and self loathing women at Cosmo think the ideal woman is a tall 12 year old girl.    It simply isn't true.

sheepstache

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Actually I believe that most metal that was previously used for razor blades during WWII was used for weapons and ammo manufacturing. Could be wrong there but seems I read that somewhere.

Just googled this and it's true. Big metal shortages.http://www.sarahsundin.com/make-it-do-metal-shortages-during-world-war-ii/

That makes sense.  It did occur to me to wonder why metal and even the plants couldn't be put to more profitable use as part of the war effort.

This puts a timeframe on it but doesn't note any particular historical reason.  Just businesses wanting to double their market in general, I guess.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/625/who-decided-women-should-shave-their-legs-and-underarms

Spartana

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I'm a millennial (barely  at 34).    I'm also considered fairly attractive by most people.   Which was confirmed by the fact that I was paid as a model at various point in my life.   And I also love porn and sex with my wife as much as possible.     I only say this to prove that I'm not a strange fetishist.

Ladies, stop shaving, stop losing too much weight and stop worrying about some sag in your boobs.    I think a full bush is super sexy, the ideal size is somewhere between a 6 and a 12, and big post pregnancy boobs are way hotter.    Men don't know it, but they like curves.   Every study in existence confirms this.    Pubic and armpit hair traps natural pheromones that turn us on and they confirm sexual maturity.   The boobs, there's nothing worse than looking at fake boobs.    Boobs are made of fat, when they look and feel like a softball they stop becoming breasts. 

Your bodies are already fantastic, don't ruin them because some uptight gay men and self loathing women at Cosmo think the ideal woman is a tall 12 year old girl.    It simply isn't true.
A huge plus 1 to this - except for the part about the ideal size as I think women and men of all sizes and shapes are ideal and attractive and sexy. While I do shave (natural light blonde so rarely have to) I almost never do any of the other things many females seem to do. I think I'm attractive without make up or bedecked in jewels. I think I was attractive when I was covered head to toe in grease and grime from my job (washes off!), and I think when I am old I will be an attractive woman still regardless of my age. I think women need to let their natural selves out from hiding. Don't be afraid to go without all the social convention crap we are told we must do  or be in order to be beautiful and desirable - and that includes not doing jobs or activities you think would make you appear to masculine. They won't. 
« Last Edit: August 21, 2014, 02:06:24 AM by Spartana »

sheepstache

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I like that we have secretly turned this thread, of all threads, into a secret feminism thread and no one suspects.

Spartana

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I like that we have secretly turned this thread, of all threads, into a secret feminism thread and no one suspects.
Ha ha - yeah I guess it kind of did! Although I'd say it is about both genders being true to themselves and not buckling under societal pressures (unless they actually like, want and enjoy those things then I say go for it if it makes you happy - who am I to judge. Just don't complain about the cost and hassle though) and not just women. Guy wants to have an expensive car or grow a long shaggy beard because HE likes it, then he should feel free to do it and not give a damn what I or anyone feels about it.

rocksinmyhead

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I like that we have secretly turned this thread, of all threads, into a secret feminism thread and no one suspects.
Ha ha - yeah I guess it kind of did! Although I'd say it is about both genders being true to themselves and not buckling under societal pressures (unless they actually like, want and enjoy those things then I say go for it if it makes you happy - who am I to judge. Just don't complain about the cost and hassle though) and not just women.

some might disagree, but that's actually EXACTLY the definition of feminism I use. and why I think everybody (not just women) should be feminists! free your mind from the shackles of societal gender expectations!!! :)

Spartana

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I like that we have secretly turned this thread, of all threads, into a secret feminism thread and no one suspects.
Ha ha - yeah I guess it kind of did! Although I'd say it is about both genders being true to themselves and not buckling under societal pressures (unless they actually like, want and enjoy those things then I say go for it if it makes you happy - who am I to judge. Just don't complain about the cost and hassle though) and not just women.

some might disagree, but that's actually EXACTLY the definition of feminism I use. and why I think everybody (not just women) should be feminists! free your mind from the shackles of societal gender expectations!!! :)
Maybe we should just throw out all old phrases and just call it "Peopleism" :-)!

eyesonthehorizon

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I like that we have secretly turned this thread, of all threads, into a secret feminism thread and no one suspects.
Ha ha - yeah I guess it kind of did! Although I'd say it is about both genders being true to themselves and not buckling under societal pressures (unless they actually like, want and enjoy those things then I say go for it if it makes you happy - who am I to judge. Just don't complain about the cost and hassle though) and not just women.

some might disagree, but that's actually EXACTLY the definition of feminism I use. and why I think everybody (not just women) should be feminists! free your mind from the shackles of societal gender expectations!!! :)
Maybe we should just throw out all old phrases and just call it "Peopleism" :-)!
'Humanism,' yeah. I think mustachians have a lot of potential to be a humanist bunch because we're all a lot more concerned with what makes people happy than what makes them fit in.

sheepstache

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I like that we have secretly turned this thread, of all threads, into a secret feminism thread and no one suspects.
Ha ha - yeah I guess it kind of did! Although I'd say it is about both genders being true to themselves and not buckling under societal pressures (unless they actually like, want and enjoy those things then I say go for it if it makes you happy - who am I to judge. Just don't complain about the cost and hassle though) and not just women.

some might disagree, but that's actually EXACTLY the definition of feminism I use. and why I think everybody (not just women) should be feminists! free your mind from the shackles of societal gender expectations!!! :)

Really?  That's _why_ people should be feminists?  I think they should be feminists because women deserve rights.

I support the gay marriage movement because I think gay people deserve those rights, not because it benefits me.  Sure, good social movements benefit everyone--if I thought feminism were hurting men I would certainly reconsider some things--but civil rights protestors never said, 'We're doing this because we want the world to be a better place and for everyone to be happy.'  They did it because they wanted black people to have their damn rights.

I don't know why it's different with feminism.  I think we have an idea that women are supposed to be super concerned about other people.  Somehow women acting with obvious self-interest seems tasteless.

Don't get me wrong, I think being a team player is important to gain any ground on social issues, so anyone who wants to call themselves a feminist is a-ok with me.

eyesonthehorizon

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... I don't know why it's different with feminism.  I think we have an idea that women are supposed to be super concerned about other people.  Somehow women acting with obvious self-interest seems tasteless. ...
Ugh, this. Women who don't think they exist to serve others, and men who don't think and loudly proclaim and enforce that they exist as god's gracious gift to others, get completely stomped in this culture.

I wanted to throw out the label 'feminist' as too specific, for a few years, and just call it 'humanism' - but then the last few years (of disproportionate rates of pay, domestic and sexualized violence, body dysmorphia, media and business representation) happened and I realized we still treat "feminist issues" as if they affect "women" who are apparently some kind of minority tribe somewhere else and not half the population everywhere. I don't give a crap who you are, THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM; own it and work to fix it. I vacillate back and forth as to whether it's better to approach solutions to prejudiced problems in a specialized way (feminism, queer rights) but until people quit being murdered over it I see it as a triage situation. When we grow up as a society and actually quit caring about the differences we can all just be humanists.

But I still say we on this form, as social nonconformists and anti-consumers, as rebels generally, have a uniquely positioned potential humanist stance. We don't have an entrenched status-quo need to exclude anybody. It won't help us sell more product. It cuts out potential productivity among our collective minds. I say we run with it, and try and spread it. With only a couple of exceptions in gay rights, culture in the US has been on the backslide since the 90s; we need to prove by counter-example how desperately uncool is it to try and claim a spotlight by being an assh-le.

Gerard

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But I still say we on this form, as social nonconformists and anti-consumers, as rebels generally, have a uniquely positioned potential humanist stance. We don't have an entrenched status-quo need to exclude anybody. It won't help us sell more product. It cuts out potential productivity among our collective minds.

I like that I can come here both for homemade mayonnaise and for big thoughts like this.

Basenji

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But I still say we on this form, as social nonconformists and anti-consumers, as rebels generally, have a uniquely positioned potential humanist stance. We don't have an entrenched status-quo need to exclude anybody. It won't help us sell more product. It cuts out potential productivity among our collective minds.

I like that I can come here both for homemade mayonnaise and for big thoughts like this.

+1

eyesonthehorizon

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But I still say we on this form, as social nonconformists and anti-consumers, as rebels generally, have a uniquely positioned potential humanist stance. We don't have an entrenched status-quo need to exclude anybody. It won't help us sell more product. It cuts out potential productivity among our collective minds.

I like that I can come here both for homemade mayonnaise and for big thoughts like this.
BWAHAHA. THIS TEN THOUSAND TIMES. Also, thank you for making me sound all concise and smart! I can't do it on my own, I need an editor...

Gerard

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I can't do it on my own, I need an editor...

Ha! My journalism minor 30 years ago included a course on editing. The stuff I learned helps me almost every day... which is why I smile to myself when people on this site sometimes rage against "worthless" degrees. </threadhijack>

domustachesgrowinhouston

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Likewise I find epilation of (female) legs costly and stupid and founded mostly on selling women the idea that we can only be attractive if we spend lots of time and money MODIFYING ourselves from our original format. I still DO it occasionally - but I'm conflicted and annoyed about it, it hardly feels like a choice I'm making really freely; it's under huge pressure of being called things like "disgusting" quite loudly in public, a phenomenon I've witnessed far too many times in the past from people I had mistaken for kind or reasonable human beings up to that point.

I tend to agree on this point, at least that if you want to shave or modify something, do it for yourself rather than because of sheep pressure.  I have a full, luxurious back of hair.  I don't shave or wax it.  Full disclosure: it's not because  (1) I find back hair attractive, (2) I'm trying to save money on back hair maintenance, or (3) I'm trying to stand out from the crowd.  It's because (4) I'm too lazy to care about it.  As a result, I'm married to a wonderful woman that also seems to find back hair kinda sexy.  Go figure, lucky me.

My daughter doesn't shave either, maybe she inherited my laziness (actually, I think she's rebelling against the notion that women have to shave or else..).  I've never actually discussed it with her SO, but he doesn't seem to have an issue with it.

I think first and foremost, know that you are beautiful.  Then if you still want to shave, use makeup, cream, wax, goop, eat diet "food", etc, go for it.  Hard to do with TV though.  I think if I told someone that a chicken was a duck 80 - 100 times a day for a year or so, they'd probably believe it was a duck.  From what I recall, the most prevalent message on TV (explicitly in the commercials and implicitly in the programming) was, "You're not quite beautiful enough, but you could be if you just bought [insert whatever nonsense I'm selling here]."  I doubt that's changed much considering how big the beauty industry is.

gimp

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Who the hell shaves their back anyways? Sounds like an exercise in futility - and bleeding profusely since you can't see shit back there.

domustachesgrowinhouston

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Who the hell shaves their back anyways? Sounds like an exercise in futility - and bleeding profusely since you can't see shit back there.

Good question.  Since I had no idea, I googled "back shaving".  This is what popped up.  Have fun!
http://www.amazon.com/MANGROOMER-Do-It-Yourself-Electric-Back-Shaver/dp/B000HQ0L2E

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!