Just because Gimp has a different view of porn doesn't mean his needs to be changed or that people who are ok with porn aren't kind, honest, or upright.
The only thing I was trying to change about Gimp's view was the notion of unspoken universal use, and the
implication that anyone who says they don't is lying. It seems pretty aggressive to tell a stranger their loved ones are deceitful with them - even if you're right, they'll figure it out on their own; do you need to rub their face in that specter of pain?
I don't have any problems with porn the way I don't have any problems with alcohol or recreational drugs -- I do see a lot of people hurt by the use of these activities
in conjunction with dishonesty, either with self or others. But that same dishonesty often comes from shame, which we ought to be trying to demolish. I'm glad your experience has been positive. I've seen a lot from both ends of the spectrum, which is why I think it's so important that people have choices, and awareness of those choices, and not be expected to conform to someone else's standard. Other people choosing to do or to not do something does not take away your own choice.
... the fad among younger women for waxing the "lady garden". I can't see that coming (directly or indirectly) from anything except porn.
When else do we see people's nethers? If we had a more body-positive, less nude-phobic society and this caught on, well, sure -- but I think you are EXACTLY correct here. This isn't an 'organic' trend - it caught on specifically from media, an artificial experience of life (in this case, of sex, but is that really that important?). And because of that very same ubiquity of porn (artificial experience) in the absence of sex-positive society (real experience), there's even less of a sense of CHOICE there than in other media; if you aren't actively modifying yourself a certain way you're automatically relegated to a specific other fringe group - there's a label out there for everybody, but you won't fit into that perfectly, either.
When trying to conform to an external standard, there's no winning; nobody can ever be good enough, and the only thing more derisible in the public eye than failing is failing after trying, heart and soul. There's no way to win that game. Let's not play.
Most of the spending the OP mentions, and the counterexamples responding posts have brought up, is focused on conforming to a certain definition of attractive and successful. ...
People buy silly status-symbol THINGS because other people ascribe value to them; what if the exceptional few were just a little more vocal and presented the suggestion that buying into popular expectation is a CHOICE?
...to what degree do people choose or wanted to become objectified and how we attempt to define ourselves, for ourselves and for others' interpretation, based on what we're wearing, holding, etc. and how much do and should these perceptions matter... much to ponder...
These perceptions absolutely matter IF YOU LET THEM. I say we make a decision NOT TO. We talk so often of society and culture and completely erase all signs of individual identities and individual choices; we say "that's how things are" as if we have no agency and no influence. People are horrifically stupid about money and consumption, it's just how things are, nobody can even THINK to make their own choices or escape the credit/debt cycle...
EXCEPT EVERYONE HERE, everyone who stood up and said "enough with this bull****" and decided they could LIVE BETTER than by following someone else's prescribed script. Even if you aren't confident enough or ready to cut your own trail or go it alone, isn't it meaningful to have more than one beaten path ahead of you?
And it's so, so important to distinguish between having an opinion people disagree with and using conflicting opinions as weapons against the individual. Maybe the reason majority opinions are majority is that they work for more people; that never means another method couldn't surpass it. Anytime someone tries to back themselves up with being in the majority, it bears careful examining to see they aren't trying to eliminate other ways of thinking - that the tail's not wagging the dog. Maintaining, supporting, and encouraging that freedom of ourselves and others to choose differently is how we make progress of any kind.