Author Topic: Just venting  (Read 3236 times)

Maigahane

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Just venting
« on: July 16, 2013, 11:30:28 AM »
I have to vent this one here since I know people here will appreciate:

My DH and I have a roommate who is a friend from high school. He's a great guy but probably the least mustachian man I've met. He own 3 vehicles by himself; a pickup, a motorcycle, and a car....and he wants a 4th vehicle. His ideal is to have a pickup, a motorcycle, a "fun" car, and a commuter car. Not only that but his ideal would involve replacing his entire fleet since he wants a bigger bike (can't blame him too much there, it's a Ninja 250), a new truck (his is late 80's), and his current car is neither "fun" nor efficient (it's a Pontiac Grand Prix GTP, I guess the supercharger isn't "fun" enough for him *smh*).
His bike is currently parked because he can't afford to fix the fork seals (?) and his truck is JUST moving again after a small engine fire 2 winters ago. When he bought his car he planned on paying it off quickly even though he got a 5 year loan (....on a 7 year old car...) and never got around to making any extra payments on it. He goes out to eat almost every day, gets more mail than we do because of all of his magazine subscriptions, all the while complaining how much he hates his $11/hour job but won't look for a new one (okay, he is starting to look now that the company did an overhaul of his area that made it worse). And I think I hear every month or two "I should have my credit cards paid off by the end of the month"

The sad thing is that I'm an accountant so I hear these details from most of my friends and few of them are much better. I'm actually on a mission to buy a Dave Ramsey book for a friend who wants a new Corvette and is considering either A) a 7 year loan or B) $600/month 39 month lease even though his wife asked me a few months ago if I knew any personal financial advisors to help them with a budget since their money just disappears. I'm actually this close (thumb and forefinger almost touching) to hosting a Dave Ramsey FPU class just for my friends...if only I thought it would help.... :(

Villanelle

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Re: Just venting
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2013, 12:23:29 PM »
Unless they ask for your advice, stay out of it.

My house is a mess, but I'd be damn offended if a friend bought me a book on housekeeping, no matter how well-intentioned she was or how clean her house might be. It pretty much always comes off as condescending and judgmental. 

If he vents, you can make a basic suggestion.  "Have you considered just selling the bike as it is and using that money to pay down your credit cards?"  He will either bite, or not.  But unless he engages you, let it go.   

Maigahane

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Re: Just venting
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2013, 01:04:45 PM »
Unless they ask for your advice, stay out of it.

I usually do this. Not only do I know they probably don't want to hear it, I also get annoyed with those conversations from my end. In the case of the friend I want to buy the DR book for, his wife did ask me for advice so it's solicited (and we're in a book club together so even more fitting).

For my roommate every once in a while I slip something in when it works nicely into the conversation (like your suggestion with the bike) but leave it at that. He pays his rent very well and that's the only thing that I have any right to say anything about.

Though by having all these friends talk to me about their money woes it does make it so I'm not butting in I'm just responding to the conversation....

MissStache

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Re: Just venting
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2013, 01:55:30 PM »
I'm actually this close (thumb and forefinger almost touching) to hosting a Dave Ramsey FPU class just for my friends...if only I thought it would help.... :(

Maybe this is a good way to bring it up!  "Hey Joe!  I'm thinking about hosting a personal finance workshop because I have some friends who have some questions about budgeting/planning for retirement/etc.  Do you think that is something people would like?"

If he responds positively, you could always offer to "practice" on him so you can get some "experience."  That way you are phrasing it so he is helping you out and not like you are trying to control his finances or henpeck him. 

If he doesn't respond positively, well...as long as he pays rent on time!

Maigahane

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Re: Just venting
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2013, 02:07:33 PM »
I'm actually this close (thumb and forefinger almost touching) to hosting a Dave Ramsey FPU class just for my friends...if only I thought it would help.... :(

Maybe this is a good way to bring it up!  "Hey Joe!  I'm thinking about hosting a personal finance workshop because I have some friends who have some questions about budgeting/planning for retirement/etc.  Do you think that is something people would like?"

If he responds positively, you could always offer to "practice" on him so you can get some "experience."  That way you are phrasing it so he is helping you out and not like you are trying to control his finances or henpeck him. 

If he doesn't respond positively, well...as long as he pays rent on time!
You are reading my mind! I almost had this conversation just last night with yet another friend (who has been talking to me about how he's working on filing bankruptcy). "Hey Jim, I have friend was asking about personal finance advice so I was thinking about hosting a DR class. Would you and the Mrs be interested in joining so we have a decent size group?"

mpbaker22

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Re: Just venting
« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2013, 02:34:00 PM »
I don't think it's always necessary to stay out of it.  If they're venting about how they don't have money, especially if they hate their job, and you have a financial background, I think it's perfectly reasonable to say something along the lines "I do things like this for a living, let me know if you want advice."
Then, leave it at that and let them come back if they want.