The Money Mustache Community

Around the Internet => Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy => Topic started by: ichangedmyname on October 06, 2013, 11:39:14 AM

Title: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: ichangedmyname on October 06, 2013, 11:39:14 AM
Don't make me go on vacation with these people.


http://blogdramedy.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/its-enough-to-make-you-cancel-your-reservation/
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Albert on October 06, 2013, 12:56:56 PM
I bet some of it is simply made up
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: NumberJohnny5 on October 06, 2013, 02:19:19 PM
I was pretty sure #12 was made up...but I got to thinking, and I'm not so sure anymore. But #19 is hilarious, whether made up or not.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: geekette on October 06, 2013, 03:05:00 PM
If you'd ever dealt with the traveling public, you wouldn't be so sure these were made up.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: SisterX on October 07, 2013, 03:09:01 PM
As someone who lives in a tourist town, no.  These are not made up.  I worked in a hotel restaurant one summer and got to listen to complaints like:

1. People upset that on their trip to Mt. McKinley they didn't get to see Denali.  (FYI, it's the same mountain, it just has two names.  You'd think someone going there would bother to look that shit up.)
2. People complaining that they'd packed only winter gear to visit Alaska in the summertime and no one bothered to tell them that it's not snowy all the time!  (Clearly, it's our fault and this is a stupid place and should be hated.)
3. People getting pissed off that they didn't get to see the Northern Lights...even though they came in the middle of summer, when we have a solid 24 hours of daylight for weeks. 
Also, they never seem to realize that the Northern Lights can't be turned on and off for their delight.  It's not a freaking fireworks display.

And this is just what I heard in a restaurant.  The stories I hear from tour guides are worse.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: SisterX on October 07, 2013, 06:11:31 PM
As someone who lives in a tourist town, no.  These are not made up.  I worked in a hotel restaurant one summer and got to listen to complaints like:

1. People upset that on their trip to Mt. McKinley they didn't get to see Denali.  (FYI, it's the same mountain, it just has two names.  You'd think someone going there would bother to look that shit up.)
2. People complaining that they'd packed only winter gear to visit Alaska in the summertime and no one bothered to tell them that it's not snowy all the time!  (Clearly, it's our fault and this is a stupid place and should be hated.)
3. People getting pissed off that they didn't get to see the Northern Lights...even though they came in the middle of summer, when we have a solid 24 hours of daylight for weeks. 
Also, they never seem to realize that the Northern Lights can't be turned on and off for their delight.  It's not a freaking fireworks display.

And this is just what I heard in a restaurant.  The stories I hear from tour guides are worse.

I had a client complain the Old City in Jerusalem isn't ADA compliant. No kidding. Most of it's at least a millenium old. And the ADA is an American law anyway.

Thank you!  I got such a good laugh out of that!
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Lans Holman on October 07, 2013, 06:18:25 PM
A friend who was a guide at Mammoth Cave said one of the most common questions they got was "How much of the cave is still undiscovered?"
Another who worked in one of the little towns in Alaska that all the cruise ships come through would be asked some version of "so, what's the elevation around here?"  "...uh... sea level?"
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Jack on October 07, 2013, 08:46:30 PM
A friend who was a guide at Mammoth Cave said one of the most common questions they got was "How much of the cave is still undiscovered?"
Another who worked in one of the little towns in Alaska that all the cruise ships come through would be asked some version of "so, what's the elevation around here?"  "...uh... sea level?"

Those seem like more of an issue of people trying to ask reasonable questions but having poor diction. For example, in Mammoth Cave maybe they wanted to know if there were any areas that people guessed must be there, but were not yet fully explored -- like a small hole 300 feet down that has a breeze and therefore must lead somewhere, or an area known due to ground-penetrating radar or seismological measurements. And in Alaska, they probably just said "elevation" when they really meant "latitude."

The issue with the quotes in the article is that they were whiny, not merely dumb.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Nords on October 07, 2013, 09:01:47 PM
One visitor to the USS ARIZONA Memorial in Pearl Harbor suggested that the entire thing should be moved to Waikiki so that visitors didn't have to take a long bus ride to see it.

Yes, unfortunately they were an American citizen.

Don't get me started on the visitor complaints at the Kilauea volcano... the one that's been in continuous eruption since 1983, yet still causes intense unhappiness about the sharp lava, the heat, and the smells.

You can imagine what happens to these sorts of visitors when they encounter a full-grown 400+ pound monk seal napping on "their" beach.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Jamesqf on October 07, 2013, 10:43:19 PM
I dunno...  I think the Brits in #12 didn't talk to any Americans from the intermountain west.  9 hours would be a pretty quick trip.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Albert on October 07, 2013, 10:46:30 PM
Looks like some people are born as whiny complainers. That's an alien philosophy for me at least as far as travel is concerned.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: dragoncar on October 07, 2013, 11:38:59 PM
Looks like some people are born as whiny complainers. That's an alien philosophy for me at least as far as travel is concerned.

I don't know exactly why I think this - might be completely unsubstantiated musings - but I tend to think this mindset is correlated with antimustachian behavior (generally living beyond one's means).

What I mean by this is that a lot of people seem to spend money they really shouldn't on vacations.  If you scraped and scrounged and maxed out your credit card based on a pretty picture in a brochure, then you have a lot tied up in the trip - emotionally and financially.  If things don't go exactly the way you pictured, it will be all the more upsetting.

On the other hand, if you spent very little money on the trip (as a portion of your income), it's a lot easier to roll with the punches. 
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: odput on October 08, 2013, 10:28:57 AM
That's an interesting theory...I always chalked it up to "I planned my vacation for now and I expect (or maybe am entitled to) the best of what is to offer.  I paid for it and I want it NOW"

There is probably also an ignorance part to it i.e. "I didn't know the northern lights weren't visible all year".  If only there were some readily accessible source of infinite information...
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: MNBen on October 09, 2013, 11:41:29 AM
This topic was enough to earn the honor of my first post.

As a recent college grad many years ago, I traveled with my biological father and his wife (I'll refer to as "step-mom" in the rest of this post) to Paris for a vacation on a last-minute cheap fare.   I'll see how many I can add to the list:


Yes, this was a 4-day trip and the last time I ever left the country with them, except for a cruise, which I'll be honest probably feels like "America" to them because they can use dollars and speak English.

If you liked that list, here are a couple other good ones I heard from a friend, about her trip to Spain with someone like my experience:

Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: potatoface on October 09, 2013, 11:44:21 AM
I work at a hotel and you see all kinds. Come down to the lobby sans pantaloons? Check. Make sexual comments to the staff & complain when you get evicted? Check. Scream in your fiance's face in the lobby the night before the wedding? Check.

It's also fun to note the differences between business & leisure travellers. Business guy, 4 nights, 1 bag, maybe 1 request for the desk. Leisure couple, 1 night, 5 bags, 3 or 4 requests. I know it has a lot to do with the frequency of the travellers themselves but I'm curious if the businessman turns into the leisure guest when he retires :P
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: DoubleDown on October 09, 2013, 12:56:04 PM
This topic was enough to earn the honor of my first post.

<snip>


Great first post, very funny. Must have been hard to be associated with your dad's wife on that trip. It's like they walked right out of the movies as the prototypical ignorant American tourist.

On a trip to Mexico City with a work colleague, we went to a restaurant. He didn't see burritos on the menu, so he asked the Mexican waiter where the burritos were on the menu. The waiter looked at him, confused, since he had no idea what a burrito is. My colleague then went on to explain it to him as though he was stupid -- "You know, beans and meat wrapped in a tortilla with cheese and lettuce and tomatoes???" The waiter said they don't have that, he's never heard of it. My colleague insisted the waiter must know what he was talking about, since burritos are obviously "Mexican" food (as defined by Taco Bell). I was very humiliated sitting there with him.

He ended up ordering the tacos, and was severely disappointed when they did not turn out to be hamburger meat with cheese and lettuce and tomatoes in a tortilla.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Jamesqf on October 09, 2013, 12:57:55 PM
They could not find any "good food" in Paris after one day, so decided to eat all of their meals and get coffee from McDonald's.

Reminds me of what happened to a good friend of mine, European by birth but lived in US since college.  She married a university professor, a recognized expert in his field of international relations.  A couple of years later, he took a sabattical, which they spent travelling in Europe while he guest-lectured at different universities.  Every meal was eaten at McDonalds or some other American fast-food chain.

The divorce followed closely on their return to the US.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: ichangedmyname on October 10, 2013, 07:32:31 AM
I *might* do a McDonald's meal once but not all my meals. There are better things to eat on vacation!

When we went to Singapore though we ate ramen noodles for lunch, the hotel had a breakfast buffet included and then we'd splurge on a nice dinner. On our last night we had so much money left that we had a lobster dinner. Best meal ever.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: legacyoneup on October 10, 2013, 09:27:15 AM
I had a client complain the Old City in Jerusalem isn't ADA compliant. No kidding. Most of it's at least a millenium old. And the ADA is an American law anyway.


muahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... rofl.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Osprey on October 10, 2013, 10:15:57 AM
Love this thread! Some of those in the link are expert trolls, kudos to them.
I once heard this from a lady on a game drive: " The leopard in the brochure was closer"
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Jamesqf on October 10, 2013, 01:02:19 PM
If you don't go to foreign McDonald's you can't check out all the fun stuff they don't sell in the American ones!

But since I don't eat in American ones, how would I ever appreciate the difference?
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: ichangedmyname on October 10, 2013, 01:08:07 PM
I *might* do a McDonald's meal once but not all my meals. There are better things to eat on vacation!

When we went to Singapore though we ate ramen noodles for lunch, the hotel had a breakfast buffet included and then we'd splurge on a nice dinner. On our last night we had so much money left that we had a lobster dinner. Best meal ever.

If you don't go to foreign McDonald's you can't check out all the fun stuff they don't sell in the American ones!

My husband couldn't believe McDonald's served fried chicken, spaghetti and rice in the Philippines. Lol
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Albert on October 10, 2013, 01:14:10 PM
I'm happily living in another universe from all those boorish travellers mentioned in this thread...

About McDonalds - it's unhealthy food in all countries, but somehow in US it's even lower class than in Europe. You can see the difference visually without even ordering anything. In US people going there are noticeably poorer, employees (and customers!) tend to be fat and ugly, everything just feels shabbier...

I wouldn't last more than 2-3 weeks with someone who'd agree to eat only in McDonalds/Burger King.

By the way being nice to people providing services to you and treating them with respect (hotels, restaurants, museums, shops etc) will reduces your chances of having a bad experience by at least 75%. Some American (not only of course) tourists forget that then abroad and think that money will solve everything. I have traveled a lot and have had a real reason to complain and be confrontational only once...
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: dragoncar on October 10, 2013, 01:17:16 PM
I had a client complain the Old City in Jerusalem isn't ADA compliant. No kidding. Most of it's at least a millenium old. And the ADA is an American law anyway.


muahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... rofl.

To be fair, the Old City day is a tough one on a tour. My legs were throbbing by the end. And the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is downright unsafe. Since it's built on the site of Golgotha, the decided to build the church AROUND the hill, rather than leveling parts. The stairs up to the Orthodox part of the church are about 8" deep and 18" high. My guide once saw someone who was shooting pictures while descending them slip, fall, hit his head, and die instantly.

Man, do they want to get ghosts?  Cause that's how you get ghosts.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Jamesqf on October 10, 2013, 02:44:24 PM
Presumably they're full up on ghosts.

I dunno...  How much space does a ghost actually need?  Henry, the one that lives in my spare bedroom (according to the previous owner, anyway), doesn't seem to take up much room at all.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: odput on October 11, 2013, 06:38:57 AM

Man, do they want to get ghosts?  Cause that's how you get ghosts.

Better than ants!
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Nords on October 12, 2013, 08:38:22 PM
My husband couldn't believe McDonald's served fried chicken, spaghetti and rice in the Philippines. Lol
Heck, we have Hawaii menu items in local McDonald's that are not available at Mainland McD's.  Teriyaki chicken and Portuguese sausage are two that come to mind.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: nawhite on October 14, 2013, 04:21:45 PM
When I worked as a raft guide we got some awesome quotes from tourists:

- Does the water go all the way down? (to what I don't know)
- Why did they put all these rocks in the way?
- At what elevation do deer turn into Elk?
- I need a left handed paddle. (There is absolutely no difference and anyone who tells you otherwise is pulling your leg)
- I told them that I did NOT want to get wet!
- Why do we need the bus at the end? (to take you back to the top because the river doesn't go in a circle)
- Can I bring my DSLR in the raft with me?
- Where are all the waterfalls? On TV they are always going off 50 foot waterfalls!

It sure was a fun job.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: dragoncar on October 14, 2013, 06:17:35 PM
When I worked as a raft guide we got some awesome quotes from tourists:

- Does the water go all the way down? (to what I don't know)
- Why did they put all these rocks in the way?
- At what elevation do deer turn into Elk?
- I need a left handed paddle. (There is absolutely no difference and anyone who tells you otherwise is pulling your leg)
- I told them that I did NOT want to get wet!
- Why do we need the bus at the end? (to take you back to the top because the river doesn't go in a circle)
- Can I bring my DSLR in the raft with me?
- Where are all the waterfalls? On TV they are always going off 50 foot waterfalls!

It sure was a fun job.

All the way to the ocean perhaps?
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: rockstache on October 15, 2013, 12:08:47 PM
I had a client complain the Old City in Jerusalem isn't ADA compliant. No kidding. Most of it's at least a millenium old. And the ADA is an American law anyway.


muahhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... rofl.

To be fair, the Old City day is a tough one on a tour. My legs were throbbing by the end. And the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is downright unsafe. Since it's built on the site of Golgotha, the decided to build the church AROUND the hill, rather than leveling parts. The stairs up to the Orthodox part of the church are about 8" deep and 18" high. My guide once saw someone who was shooting pictures while descending them slip, fall, hit his head, and die instantly.

Man, do they want to get ghosts?  Cause that's how you get ghosts.

Christians believe Jesus was crucified and died there, along with a couple other criminals. Presumably they're full up on ghosts. Plus there's the Holy Ghost.

I wish we had a like button for posts like this.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: secondcor521 on October 16, 2013, 12:16:17 PM
When I worked as a raft guide we got some awesome quotes from tourists:

- Does the water go all the way down? (to what I don't know)
- Why did they put all these rocks in the way?
- At what elevation do deer turn into Elk?
- I need a left handed paddle. (There is absolutely no difference and anyone who tells you otherwise is pulling your leg)
- I told them that I did NOT want to get wet!
- Why do we need the bus at the end? (to take you back to the top because the river doesn't go in a circle)
- Can I bring my DSLR in the raft with me?
- Where are all the waterfalls? On TV they are always going off 50 foot waterfalls!

It sure was a fun job.

All the way to the ocean perhaps?

And what elevation does that happen at?  ;-)
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: brewer12345 on October 16, 2013, 12:38:10 PM

- At what elevation do deer turn into Elk?

Exactly 8,457 feet.  The conversion from elk to deer is a lot more interesting to watch than deer to elk.  For an extra $50 each, I and another of the guides will catch a deer and make it cross over the 8,457 foot line several times after we get off the river.  Interested?
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: Jamesqf on October 16, 2013, 03:01:35 PM
- Does the water go all the way down? (to what I don't know)

All the way to the ocean perhaps?

Not hereabouts.  It runs out into the desert, and depending on the river, either winds up in a lake or a marsh at about 4000 ft elevation, so there's still a lot of "down" left.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: dragoncar on October 16, 2013, 03:03:24 PM
- Does the water go all the way down? (to what I don't know)

All the way to the ocean perhaps?

Not hereabouts.  It runs out into the desert, and depending on the river, either winds up in a lake or a marsh at about 4000 ft elevation, so there's still a lot of "down" left.

So then the answer would be "no".  I think its a valid question.
Title: Re: It's Enough to Make You Cancel Your Reservation
Post by: nawhite on October 22, 2013, 08:24:18 AM
- Does the water go all the way down? (to what I don't know)

All the way to the ocean perhaps?

Not hereabouts.  It runs out into the desert, and depending on the river, either winds up in a lake or a marsh at about 4000 ft elevation, so there's still a lot of "down" left.

So then the answer would be "no".  I think its a valid question.

I'm pretty sure the person asking the question couldn't see the bottom of the river because it was muddy and assumed that the river went to the center of the earth. Like that there was a giant gash in the earths crust that went down for miles with this river filling it up.