I will never understand the flying monkeys. They are more invested in the fake Happy Families notion so they can feel good about themselves and their view of the world, never understanding what it takes for children to reject a parent or what kind of creep it takes to discard their child.
Flying monkeys are rewarded for their manipulative, controlling, and inappropriate behavior in three ways.
1. They get to feel superior to the aggressor whose dysfunctional behavior drove a close family member away.
Flying monkeys truly believe themselves to be all-wise, all-knowing, and benevolent. But they simultaneously know that they aren't really gods, so they go around looking for ways to validate their unreasonably high opinions of themselves. They test or demonstrate their superiority by gracing the poor benighted sinner-aggressors with redemption. Using their mighty powers of manipulation and control, they swoop down from the heavens in a golden chariot to rescue the aggressor from the predictable consequences of his or her bad behavior. They do something the aggressor no longer can: they bring away the person who successfully escape. It's a big ego moment if the flying monkey can swoop down in a golden chariot to wipe the aggressor's butt, using the victim as the human toilet paper, and restore events to the way they were before the aggressor drove the victim away. This guarantees the abuse will recur, because the aggressor has just learned that he or she really CAN abuse the victim without permanent consequence.
2. They get to feel superior to the victim too.
Flying monkeys believe that the victim of abuse has a the moral duty to forgive the aggressor no matter what, to allow further abuse no matter what, and to lick the boot that kicks them especially if the person wearing the boot is Family or has A Disease. This obviously isn't accompanied by the notion that the aggressor might have a duty to not abuse the victim. It's strictly one-sided. To the flying monkey, a person who has an addiction, a mental health problem, PMS, a hangnail, or any other problem is forgiveness on demand, to determine how long the victim should take to "get over it", and to move beyond the consequences of the abuse the moment it's convenient for the aggressor. Anything short of doormat-like submission with full joy and sincerity is not only unacceptable but morally wrong. By saying "no" to future abuse, the victim becomes a Very Bad Person according to the flying monkey, who by definition is a Very Good Person (since they have good intentions and only want what they know to be best for the victim). In the name of Family Reunification, or Scripture, or Tradition, or the flying monkey's own righteous Emotional Feelings, the flying monkey does whatever he or she can to bully the victim into line. A victim who resists, who refuses to kowtow to both the aggressor and the flying monkey, is wrong, bad, immoral, misguided, and in poor standing with the Sky Bunny. The flying monkey is therefore obligated, as a representative of the Sky Bunny, to punish the misbehaving victim for attempting to escape. This is a huge ego boost to the flying monkey. Success validates his or her belief in his or her own psychic powers and Sky Bunny favor.
3. They get approval from other flying monkeys even if they don't succeed.
By developing a massive emotional commitment to other people's life decisions that do not affect them, flying monkeys can put on a giant martyr act when they don't get their way. If their manipulations are unsuccessful, such as if the victim escapes or tells them to get stuffed, they get to go hang out with others of their own kind. There, they boo-hoo about how sad they are and how much emotional stress the victim is causing them. This earns them the sympathy of others of their ilk, who reinforce the flying monkey's big martyr act and sense of personal hurt. This rewards the flying monkey for having such bad boundaries that they give a flying fuck about a relationship that doesn't involve them.
Basically, even when they lose, there's an emotional and social payoff.