Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 1435074 times)

shelivesthedream

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2250 on: November 21, 2020, 11:25:49 AM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

You've obviously never read much Agatha Christie...

iluvzbeach

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2251 on: November 21, 2020, 01:21:56 PM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

You've obviously never read much Agatha Christie...

Um, can’t say that I have...

shelivesthedream

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2252 on: November 21, 2020, 01:40:41 PM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

You've obviously never read much Agatha Christie...

Um, can’t say that I have...

She's a writer from the golden age of detective fiction (between the wars) and SO many of her books are about a cantankerous old person changing their will multiple times with great fanfare to include or exclude various family members in order to keep them at their beck and call, and include a large cast of hangers-on who kowtow to COP (cantankerous old person)'s every demand in the hope of being in their good books on the day they die and therefore being in the latest version of the will. Naturally, that means they all have a potent motive for being the murderer. In fact, the catalyst for the murder is often that COP has a fight with someone and announces that they will call their solicitor tomorrow and cut them out of the will - but they mysteriously die before they manage to do it...

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2253 on: November 21, 2020, 02:05:20 PM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

You've obviously never read much Agatha Christie...

Um, can’t say that I have...

She's a writer from the golden age of detective fiction (between the wars) and SO many of her books are about a cantankerous old person changing their will multiple times with great fanfare to include or exclude various family members in order to keep them at their beck and call, and include a large cast of hangers-on who kowtow to COP (cantankerous old person)'s every demand in the hope of being in their good books on the day they die and therefore being in the latest version of the will. Naturally, that means they all have a potent motive for being the murderer. In fact, the catalyst for the murder is often that COP has a fight with someone and announces that they will call their solicitor tomorrow and cut them out of the will - but they mysteriously die before they manage to do it...

You know, that synopsis explained to the COP in question might get them to rethink being such a vocal ass about their will.    Maybe hand them a t-shirt or hat with cross-hairs on it to drive home the point...

Imma

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2254 on: November 21, 2020, 02:44:54 PM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

It IS manipulative.  That's the exact point of doing it.

Yes, my aunt always used to inform us that so-and-so was out of the will because he did this thing, so we should make sure we never do this thing because that would mean we were going to be out of the will and we weren't going to get The Inheritance. The way she talkes about it you may think it's a multi million trust fund, but it's a bog standard terraced house that still has a mortgage and her china from the 1980s.

She used to teach me valuable life lessons like how you should set aside 10% of your earnings to invest in jewelry, that no one has ever gotten a job through networking and that I will probably end up on my own because I didn't go steady with anyone during highschool and always look like a mess. And then came "at your age I was married already!". I first met Mr Imma at the ripe old age of 22 and didn't "go steady" with him until I was 23! The horror. Instead of investing in jewelry I became a home owner at 24. I'm 30 now and just bought my first set of china and my first piece of real (vintage) jewelry this year. Still look like a mess, so I made sure to find a guy who doesn't like make-up and nailpolish and things like that.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2255 on: November 21, 2020, 08:06:38 PM »
Imma, you are such a late bloomer. Your auntie must be soooo disappointed...

iluvzbeach

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2256 on: November 21, 2020, 10:40:18 PM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

You've obviously never read much Agatha Christie...

Um, can’t say that I have...

She's a writer from the golden age of detective fiction (between the wars) and SO many of her books are about a cantankerous old person changing their will multiple times with great fanfare to include or exclude various family members in order to keep them at their beck and call, and include a large cast of hangers-on who kowtow to COP (cantankerous old person)'s every demand in the hope of being in their good books on the day they die and therefore being in the latest version of the will. Naturally, that means they all have a potent motive for being the murderer. In fact, the catalyst for the murder is often that COP has a fight with someone and announces that they will call their solicitor tomorrow and cut them out of the will - but they mysteriously die before they manage to do it...

I will definitely check them out! Thanks for the info. By the way, I know of Agatha Christie, just don’t recall reading any of her books or what they are about.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2257 on: November 22, 2020, 12:01:25 PM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

You've obviously never read much Agatha Christie...

Um, can’t say that I have...

She's a writer from the golden age of detective fiction (between the wars) and SO many of her books are about a cantankerous old person changing their will multiple times with great fanfare to include or exclude various family members in order to keep them at their beck and call, and include a large cast of hangers-on who kowtow to COP (cantankerous old person)'s every demand in the hope of being in their good books on the day they die and therefore being in the latest version of the will. Naturally, that means they all have a potent motive for being the murderer. In fact, the catalyst for the murder is often that COP has a fight with someone and announces that they will call their solicitor tomorrow and cut them out of the will - but they mysteriously die before they manage to do it...

I will definitely check them out! Thanks for the info. By the way, I know of Agatha Christie, just don’t recall reading any of her books or what they are about.

I actually haven't *read* that many but am a HUGE fan of the ITV Poirot series with David Suchet. Maybe it's an acquired taste? But it's our go-to comfort viewing. I'm currently trudging through the ITV Marples and they are just not up to snuff.

Imma

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2258 on: November 22, 2020, 02:05:03 PM »
Imma, you are such a late bloomer. Your auntie must be soooo disappointed...

The worst thing is, she truly is! I can't imagine actually caring enough about the life choices of family members I don't like to be disappointed in them. When we were still in touch she was in my phone as Hyacinth Bucket.

My dad and aunt had one of those Agatha Christie aunts too so I guess they just think that's normal behaviour? She died of natural causes, but I'm sure some family members were sometimes tempted as she was so difficult.

rpr

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2259 on: November 22, 2020, 02:16:34 PM »
I remember this episode. This is not Agatha Christie but is a BritMur in the Midsomer Murders series.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0868397/

I enjoyed that series.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2260 on: November 22, 2020, 08:52:54 PM »
Imma, you are such a late bloomer. Your auntie must be soooo disappointed...

The worst thing is, she truly is! I can't imagine actually caring enough about the life choices of family members I don't like to be disappointed in them. When we were still in touch she was in my phone as Hyacinth Bucket.

Well, at least we all know you're doing it right!

shelivesthedream

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2261 on: November 23, 2020, 12:31:44 AM »
Imma, you are such a late bloomer. Your auntie must be soooo disappointed...

The worst thing is, she truly is! I can't imagine actually caring enough about the life choices of family members I don't like to be disappointed in them. When we were still in touch she was in my phone as Hyacinth Bucket.

My dad and aunt had one of those Agatha Christie aunts too so I guess they just think that's normal behaviour? She died of natural causes, but I'm sure some family members were sometimes tempted as she was so difficult.

Hilarious detective novel plot: yes, I did murder COP, but not for the money - just to get them to shut up about it!

PhilB

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2262 on: November 23, 2020, 02:02:41 AM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

You've obviously never read much Agatha Christie...

Um, can’t say that I have...

She's a writer from the golden age of detective fiction (between the wars) and SO many of her books are about a cantankerous old person changing their will multiple times with great fanfare to include or exclude various family members in order to keep them at their beck and call, and include a large cast of hangers-on who kowtow to COP (cantankerous old person)'s every demand in the hope of being in their good books on the day they die and therefore being in the latest version of the will. Naturally, that means they all have a potent motive for being the murderer. In fact, the catalyst for the murder is often that COP has a fight with someone and announces that they will call their solicitor tomorrow and cut them out of the will - but they mysteriously die before they manage to do it...

I will definitely check them out! Thanks for the info. By the way, I know of Agatha Christie, just don’t recall reading any of her books or what they are about.

I actually haven't *read* that many but am a HUGE fan of the ITV Poirot series with David Suchet. Maybe it's an acquired taste? But it's our go-to comfort viewing. I'm currently trudging through the ITV Marples and they are just not up to snuff.

No Marple is ever likely to hold a candle to the late, great Joan Hickson.  And don't get me started on Kenneth Branagh's murdering of Poirot.  Harrumph.

Just Joe

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2263 on: November 23, 2020, 08:11:44 AM »
Imma, you are such a late bloomer. Your auntie must be soooo disappointed...

She has solid priorities! That's MMM marrying material! ;)

Plina

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2264 on: November 23, 2020, 10:36:59 AM »
What I don’t get is that people would publicize updates to their will and who is/isn’t in it this go-round. Sounds extremely manipulative to me.

It IS manipulative.  That's the exact point of doing it.

Yes, my aunt always used to inform us that so-and-so was out of the will because he did this thing, so we should make sure we never do this thing because that would mean we were going to be out of the will and we weren't going to get The Inheritance. The way she talkes about it you may think it's a multi million trust fund, but it's a bog standard terraced house that still has a mortgage and her china from the 1980s.

She used to teach me valuable life lessons like how you should set aside 10% of your earnings to invest in jewelry, that no one has ever gotten a job through networking and that I will probably end up on my own because I didn't go steady with anyone during highschool and always look like a mess. And then came "at your age I was married already!". I first met Mr Imma at the ripe old age of 22 and didn't "go steady" with him until I was 23! The horror. Instead of investing in jewelry I became a home owner at 24. I'm 30 now and just bought my first set of china and my first piece of real (vintage) jewelry this year. Still look like a mess, so I made sure to find a guy who doesn't like make-up and nailpolish and things like that.

I wonder if it is a generations thing. From a generation that has seen wars it would not be such a stupid advice. Jewelries are easy to take with you if you have to flee or are possible to use to buy necessities if money loose the value due to inflation. Networking in todays sense didn’t exist at least in the working classes. The same with marriage at least from a more european perspective. Americans seems more conservative and get married early. Two generations ago you got married early or when someone got pregnant by mistake. Here, many get a couple of kids first and then they might get married after living together for many years. You rarely see people getting married in their 20ies if they don’t have a foreign background.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2265 on: November 23, 2020, 10:45:55 AM »

Networking in todays sense didn’t exist at least in the working classes. The same with marriage at least from a more european perspective.

I don't know where you got that idea.   Gobs of working class people have helped a buddy get a job.

Plina

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2266 on: November 23, 2020, 11:15:44 AM »

Networking in todays sense didn’t exist at least in the working classes. The same with marriage at least from a more european perspective.

I don't know where you got that idea.   Gobs of working class people have helped a buddy get a job.

That is why I wrote in todays sense. Networking in the meaning of going to networks events, lunches or conferences with the purpose of getting a job or business but if I look up the word in a english dictionary it can be for both professional and social reasons. I would skip a lot of events if it would not be a part of being in the business as I do. I don’t meet my friends for ”networking” and I don’t see it as networking to help a buddy or a family member get a job but maybe it is a language difference.

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2267 on: November 23, 2020, 11:34:40 AM »

Networking in todays sense didn’t exist at least in the working classes. The same with marriage at least from a more european perspective.

I don't know where you got that idea.   Gobs of working class people have helped a buddy get a job.

That is why I wrote in todays sense. Networking in the meaning of going to networks events, lunches or conferences with the purpose of getting a job or business but if I look up the word in a english dictionary it can be for both professional and social reasons. I would skip a lot of events if it would not be a part of being in the business as I do. I don’t meet my friends for ”networking” and I don’t see it as networking to help a buddy or a family member get a job but maybe it is a language difference.

You mean conferences like this:

"https://1tomplumber.com/best-plumbing-trade-shows-in-2020/"

Lead paragraph from the site:

"Whether you own a plumbing business or aspire to one day, plumbing trade shows help you stay up to date with the greatest trends and technology in the industry. Creating a better customer experience through new tools, supplies, and networking with others will give you a leg up on the competition. Here’s our recommendation of the top ten plumbing trade shows to attend in 2020!"

I've met tradespeople coming to REIA (Real Estate Investors Association) meetings to meet and network with the investors.   

I suspect it's just not on your radar screen.


Plina

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2268 on: November 23, 2020, 01:14:14 PM »

Networking in todays sense didn’t exist at least in the working classes. The same with marriage at least from a more european perspective.

I don't know where you got that idea.   Gobs of working class people have helped a buddy get a job.

That is why I wrote in todays sense. Networking in the meaning of going to networks events, lunches or conferences with the purpose of getting a job or business but if I look up the word in a english dictionary it can be for both professional and social reasons. I would skip a lot of events if it would not be a part of being in the business as I do. I don’t meet my friends for ”networking” and I don’t see it as networking to help a buddy or a family member get a job but maybe it is a language difference.

You mean conferences like this:

"https://1tomplumber.com/best-plumbing-trade-shows-in-2020/"

Lead paragraph from the site:

"Whether you own a plumbing business or aspire to one day, plumbing trade shows help you stay up to date with the greatest trends and technology in the industry. Creating a better customer experience through new tools, supplies, and networking with others will give you a leg up on the competition. Here’s our recommendation of the top ten plumbing trade shows to attend in 2020!"

I've met tradespeople coming to REIA (Real Estate Investors Association) meetings to meet and network with the investors.   

I suspect it's just not on your radar screen.

I did presume that Immas aunt was elderly based on her advice, which might be wrong. Trade shows have existed for a long time but a generation or two ago it was not that many workers that visited those.  I come across a lot of industrial history in my work and trade shows seemed to be something for owners, management and salespeople, not blue collar workers. I agree, that is is a different situation today.

Imma

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2269 on: November 23, 2020, 01:50:08 PM »
@Plina it's true that my aunt is from a totally different background/generation, but so are my parents and other aunts and uncles and they're not this oldfashioned. They are all Boomers and born in the 50s. It's certainly true that generation married young, but the funny thing is, that generation seems to think early marriage was the norm since the dawn of time, and actually it wasn't. At least in my country. Early marriage (average age below 25) started in the post-war period and lasted until the early 80s. Before the war people had to save up a long time to buy a house, after the war a lot of cheap council homes were built that were affordable for young couples. My parents married at 20, way earlier than their own parents (who were late 20s to late 30s). In hindsight, my own parents knew they had married way too young, so they never pushed us. My aunt had her trousseau ready before she even met her future husband and that was considered old-fashioned in the 70s too. My mother didn't start buying towels and sheets until her engagement, which was considered a bit late back then.

My family doesn't have a refugee background and no one ever bought "real" jewelry, I guess that rule of thumb is more to impress the neighbours rather than something you could easily take with you. I know in the generation of my great-grandparents in the early 20th century people bought gold coins and kept them in a safe because they didn't trust banks. Before her marriage my aunt only worked on Saturday mornings so I doubt 10% of that could buy anything valuable.

As for the networking thing, I didn't really mean the networking events. I don't have to go there (thankfully!). To me it means keeping in touch with people in my field in an informal way. The reason why we even talked about this in the first place is because at the time my job was ending, so I casually said I was going to call around for a bit. That started a "networking doesn't work" rant that lasted months. In the mean time, I actually got a job due to my network (a place where I'd covered a maternity leave wanted me back). And my uncle is an extremely skilled tradesman who has always gotten jobs through his network. He's known to be the best at what he does in our hometown and he knows and talks to everyone, and that's why people call him to offer him jobs. That sounds quite a lot like networking! He can only read and write up to primary school level so I'm glad he has a huge existing network and doesn't have to write job applications.

Plina

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2270 on: November 23, 2020, 02:38:43 PM »
@Imma Your aunt is really old fashioned. My parents are born in 50s but your aunt sounded a lot older. I don’t think we have the same pattern but I don’t have statistics. I know that my grandparents, that were young during the second world war got married young but rented a place for several years. My parents got married at 33 after three kids so there has been no push for marriage. The push has been more for grandkids during these last years. No partner necessarly needed.

The funny thing about trousseau is that me and my siblings had a ”trosseau” ready when we moved away from home at 16. We had a complete kitchen, towels and sheets when we moved out. Sometimes it has been quite annoying. Now, for the first time after almost 25 years away I have choosen the sheets that I want to have. It tooks that long to use all those I got before I moved away from home.

Maybe, you can separate between more intentional networking that you seem to do and what I view as networking and unintentional. My father is similar to your uncle but he would never talk about networking but he does it unintentionally as he has an interest in people that I don’t have.

Imma

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2271 on: November 23, 2020, 03:14:35 PM »
I had a trousseau too at that age! Not with fine china for 12 people like my aunt but I really wanted to move out, so any time someone got rid of something, or when you could collect trading stamps for something I would ask people for that.( I googled that term, I hope that's the correct term - the kind of stamps you get with every X amount spent in a store that you can exchange for household goods. ) I collected it in a box under my bed. I still have almost all of it - the towels and the knives and the mug I got as a Christmas present at my first job. Only the pots and pans turned out to be not great quality and I threw out the last one a few weeks ago.

In the 50s the average age for a woman to get married was 27 in here. That dropped to around 23 in the 70s and 80s and now we're at 30 or something. I think my country remained conservative for a long time - in my parents' youth, pre-marital sex, let alone living together before marriage, were taboo. Our parents are apparantly of a similar age but it sounds like yours were a few decades ahead of mine! My friend's parents had to get married when her mum's landlady caught her dad sneaking in at night and called mum's parents! That was probably during the early 80s. Things changed quickly in the 90s.

My parents and in-laws are pushing for grandchildren too but it looks like that's not going to happen on either side of the family. It makes me kind of sad that even if one of our siblings were to have children, those kids won't experience family life like I did. It wasn't always great, there was lots of drama, but there were lots of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, people you were somehow related to but you didn't actually know how exactly. Everyone's door was always open. There are only a handful of family members left now.

economista

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2272 on: November 24, 2020, 07:31:25 AM »
I think my country remained conservative for a long time - in my parents' youth, pre-marital sex, let alone living together before marriage, were taboo.

This is still the case in parts of the US. When Mr E and I moved in together before we got married (we were engaged but not married yet) we were no longer welcome at some family gatherings because we were a "bad example." It caused quite a lot of stress and heartache and my relationship with that part of the family will never be the same again.

ETA: In my family and with most of the community I grew up in getting married young is still the case as well. My grandparents got married at 18 & 21, my parents got married at 17 & 18, and then I got married at 28. My family members couldn't figure out why I wan't getting married. When I got pregnant for the first time at 29 I got lots of comments about being so OLD to be a parent, and then when I got pregnant again at 30 there was honest to goodness shock because they thought I had waited so late to get started that I would only have 1. All of my cousins/aunts/etc all had their first child before 22. I should also point out that I'm the first and still one of the only people in my family to have a college degree, and in that community it is very rare for someone to go to college.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2020, 07:36:53 AM by economista »

Sugaree

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2273 on: November 24, 2020, 09:31:59 AM »
I think my country remained conservative for a long time - in my parents' youth, pre-marital sex, let alone living together before marriage, were taboo.

This is still the case in parts of the US. When Mr E and I moved in together before we got married (we were engaged but not married yet) we were no longer welcome at some family gatherings because we were a "bad example." It caused quite a lot of stress and heartache and my relationship with that part of the family will never be the same again.

ETA: In my family and with most of the community I grew up in getting married young is still the case as well. My grandparents got married at 18 & 21, my parents got married at 17 & 18, and then I got married at 28. My family members couldn't figure out why I wan't getting married. When I got pregnant for the first time at 29 I got lots of comments about being so OLD to be a parent, and then when I got pregnant again at 30 there was honest to goodness shock because they thought I had waited so late to get started that I would only have 1. All of my cousins/aunts/etc all had their first child before 22. I should also point out that I'm the first and still one of the only people in my family to have a college degree, and in that community it is very rare for someone to go to college.

Yeah, I'm in the Bible belt and weddings during the summer following HS graduation aren't *that* uncommon.  It's usually either because one, or both, are joining the military or that they want to have sex without sinning.

Psychstache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2274 on: November 24, 2020, 11:12:03 AM »
I think my country remained conservative for a long time - in my parents' youth, pre-marital sex, let alone living together before marriage, were taboo.

This is still the case in parts of the US. When Mr E and I moved in together before we got married (we were engaged but not married yet) we were no longer welcome at some family gatherings because we were a "bad example." It caused quite a lot of stress and heartache and my relationship with that part of the family will never be the same again.

ETA: In my family and with most of the community I grew up in getting married young is still the case as well. My grandparents got married at 18 & 21, my parents got married at 17 & 18, and then I got married at 28. My family members couldn't figure out why I wan't getting married. When I got pregnant for the first time at 29 I got lots of comments about being so OLD to be a parent, and then when I got pregnant again at 30 there was honest to goodness shock because they thought I had waited so late to get started that I would only have 1. All of my cousins/aunts/etc all had their first child before 22. I should also point out that I'm the first and still one of the only people in my family to have a college degree, and in that community it is very rare for someone to go to college.

Yeah, I'm in the Bible belt and weddings during the summer following HS graduation aren't *that* uncommon.  It's usually either because one, or both, are joining the military or that they want to have sex without sinning.

Or there is a baby coming in 6-7 months.

Sugaree

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2275 on: November 24, 2020, 11:25:13 AM »
I think my country remained conservative for a long time - in my parents' youth, pre-marital sex, let alone living together before marriage, were taboo.

This is still the case in parts of the US. When Mr E and I moved in together before we got married (we were engaged but not married yet) we were no longer welcome at some family gatherings because we were a "bad example." It caused quite a lot of stress and heartache and my relationship with that part of the family will never be the same again.

ETA: In my family and with most of the community I grew up in getting married young is still the case as well. My grandparents got married at 18 & 21, my parents got married at 17 & 18, and then I got married at 28. My family members couldn't figure out why I wan't getting married. When I got pregnant for the first time at 29 I got lots of comments about being so OLD to be a parent, and then when I got pregnant again at 30 there was honest to goodness shock because they thought I had waited so late to get started that I would only have 1. All of my cousins/aunts/etc all had their first child before 22. I should also point out that I'm the first and still one of the only people in my family to have a college degree, and in that community it is very rare for someone to go to college.

Yeah, I'm in the Bible belt and weddings during the summer following HS graduation aren't *that* uncommon.  It's usually either because one, or both, are joining the military or that they want to have sex without sinning.

Or there is a baby coming in 6-7 months.

True.  Though I've seen a trend against getting married just because there's a baby on the way.  Which isn't a bad thing, IMO. 



At some point, my son is going to realize that he was born 5.5 months after my husband and I got married.

iluvzbeach

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2276 on: November 24, 2020, 11:40:55 AM »
My, now deceased, great grandmother always said “the first baby can come at anytime, the rest take nine months.” That certainly held true for my family. 😁

Plina

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2277 on: November 24, 2020, 12:41:19 PM »
I had a trousseau too at that age! Not with fine china for 12 people like my aunt but I really wanted to move out, so any time someone got rid of something, or when you could collect trading stamps for something I would ask people for that.( I googled that term, I hope that's the correct term - the kind of stamps you get with every X amount spent in a store that you can exchange for household goods. ) I collected it in a box under my bed. I still have almost all of it - the towels and the knives and the mug I got as a Christmas present at my first job. Only the pots and pans turned out to be not great quality and I threw out the last one a few weeks ago.

In the 50s the average age for a woman to get married was 27 in here. That dropped to around 23 in the 70s and 80s and now we're at 30 or something. I think my country remained conservative for a long time - in my parents' youth, pre-marital sex, let alone living together before marriage, were taboo. Our parents are apparantly of a similar age but it sounds like yours were a few decades ahead of mine! My friend's parents had to get married when her mum's landlady caught her dad sneaking in at night and called mum's parents! That was probably during the early 80s. Things changed quickly in the 90s.

My parents and in-laws are pushing for grandchildren too but it looks like that's not going to happen on either side of the family. It makes me kind of sad that even if one of our siblings were to have children, those kids won't experience family life like I did. It wasn't always great, there was lots of drama, but there were lots of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, people you were somehow related to but you didn't actually know how exactly. Everyone's door was always open. There are only a handful of family members left now.

I got my things over several christmases. I think that is pretty common here that relatives buy two plates, someone buys glasses etc. I got quality stuff so most of the stuff is still in use.

I had to look at the statistics. In 1871 the year of first marriage was for male 29,3 years and for women 27,8 years. It was around that age until the  the end of the second world war when it started to decline. So same pattern as in your country. The lowest age was reached in 1966 when the men was in average 25,9 years and the women 23,3 years. We had a bump in 1989 in the age curve as there was a change in the pension system so many "older" couples  (33 years) got married to benefit from the possibility to get survivors pension for widows. Many of my parents friends got married then as well as my parents. In 2018 the average age was 36,3 for the men and 33,9 years for the women.

I have sometimes jokingly said to my parents, that I am an illegitimate child after seeing it in some American TV-show, which prompted my mother to ask if I have seen it as a problem. It has never been an issue because if I looked at others in my generation they had parents that were not married. So yes, the society in the 70-80ies were a lot more liberal here than in your country. I think many view marriage as a piece of paper that makes inheritance easier and a possibility to throw a big party.

I think the loss of family feeling is sad. My maternal grandmother died a year ago and my grandfather is having health problems. Their place has always been the gathering place, were you saw your aunts, uncle and cousins for different occasions. When my grandfather passes away sometimes in the future, there will be no such place anymore as we are spread across two countries.

I think my country remained conservative for a long time - in my parents' youth, pre-marital sex, let alone living together before marriage, were taboo.

This is still the case in parts of the US. When Mr E and I moved in together before we got married (we were engaged but not married yet) we were no longer welcome at some family gatherings because we were a "bad example." It caused quite a lot of stress and heartache and my relationship with that part of the family will never be the same again.

ETA: In my family and with most of the community I grew up in getting married young is still the case as well. My grandparents got married at 18 & 21, my parents got married at 17 & 18, and then I got married at 28. My family members couldn't figure out why I wan't getting married. When I got pregnant for the first time at 29 I got lots of comments about being so OLD to be a parent, and then when I got pregnant again at 30 there was honest to goodness shock because they thought I had waited so late to get started that I would only have 1. All of my cousins/aunts/etc all had their first child before 22. I should also point out that I'm the first and still one of the only people in my family to have a college degree, and in that community it is very rare for someone to go to college.

Yeah, I'm in the Bible belt and weddings during the summer following HS graduation aren't *that* uncommon.  It's usually either because one, or both, are joining the military or that they want to have sex without sinning.

I think my parents would have been really opposed towards a marriage after high school even if there had been babies involved. They would have been totally ok with the baby, I have learned later. In smaller towns as the one that I went in high school, you would get children younger but before 22 would be considered as a malfunction with birth control. According to statistics the average age for first time parents is 29,6 years for women and 31,8 for men. Can you get married before 18? Here, it would require a special license, that is really hard to obtain.

partgypsy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2278 on: November 24, 2020, 01:00:44 PM »
I'm always surprised that so many people don't have their affairs in order. A lot of people really don't want to face their own mortality. Recently we found out that something like that happened in our family too - and that person was a mentally sharp 90-something. Even they had not seen death coming.

I have a law degree and whenever close friends go through a major life event I always inquire whether they've talked things through with a legal professional. I always say something like "I don't want to be rude, and I certainly don't want to know the details, but my professional experience is that it's important that you talk about your situation together to make sure you're on the same page about things and whether your paperwork reflects your wishes".

More than one couple actually came back to thank me about that, because they found out things they didn't know. Like that one person who bought a house with a relative, very similar to the situation described in this thread, relative moved out, new spouse moves in - my acquintance had absolutely no idea the relative was still on the deed and not the husband. They figured marriage would take care of that "because you get told you need to get married to get your affairs in order". Other fairly common things I've encountered in my work are life insurance policies benefitting an ex instead of a current partner, a new mortgage on a home one person owned before marriage that's on both names but the property is still in one name and outdated wills.

A very painful situation happened in my family not too long ago - my cousin, in her 30s, had a long-term partner in his 50s with adult kids from a previous marriage. Cousin and him had been together for years and had a family but wanted to wait with marriage until their kids were a bit older so they could share in the happy day. Waiting with marriage until the kids are older and have a family celebration has become quite common in our country, but in our jurisdiction there are several forms of civil partnership they could have chosen instead to get their affairs in order. But they didn't think that was necessary. Well, he had a heart attack and died and he left the house that he had owned for years before they met to his adult kids and his life insurance too. And I think his pension went to his ex. Legally you can't disinherit your kids so they went to court and his young children got a share too, but the adult kids owned most of it so they forced a sale. That sale generated some funds but it belongs to the kids, mum can't use it to buy a new home. They've all lived with her parents ever since.

I thought the same thing happened with my Dad. he passed away this year unexpectedly just shy of 88. Whenever we broached the topic of a will or getting affairs in orders he said that he had "taken care of it" and "don't worry about it." He passed unexpectedly. He did have my little brother on the two main accounts but there was not enough to cover funeral expenses. So we paid the bills and assumed we each would be on the hook for around 4K each. We were puzzled because he seemed so emphatic he had taken care of it. Anyways maybe a month later my sister going through the files and paperwork found a sealed envelope addressed to us. Between that and selling his car paid off the funeral expenses and gave each of us around 500. So he HAD planned it. Just that we almost didn't find it, and the whole process (especially trying to figure out what his wishes were and have it happen in a short period of time) was unnecessarily nerve wracking and stressful.  At the same time he lived very simply; unlike the horror stories here there was just an apartment with minimalistic furnishings (most of which is in my brother's garage). Every time I think of buying something for someone, I now think, who is going to have to deal with this after the person is gone? It just becomes junk at that point.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2020, 01:09:21 PM by partgypsy »

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2279 on: November 24, 2020, 01:10:00 PM »
Can you get married before 18? Here, it would require a special license, that is really hard to obtain.

It depends on whether the parents agree.

In California, Maine, Washington, Idaho, West Virginia and New Mexico there is no lower age limit, provided at least one parent or guardian consents.

There are several states that have low minimum ages. The lowest is in Massachusetts, where boys as young as 14 and girls as young as 12 can be married when the parents consent and the judge goes along with it. That dates back to English civil law; it doesn't appear that they got around to changing it. Massachusetts marriages do not emancipate the minor, but marriages in other states do.

In Hawaii, Kansas, Maryland, and Utah the minimum age of marriage is 15. In Mississippi it's 15 for females but 17 for males. Most states have a minimum age of 16 or 17. At age 18 it's no longer an underage marriage in most states... meaning parental consent is not required.

So yes, it's legal to marry 12-year-old females in Boston, provided the consent of at least one parent or guardian can be had and the judge goes along with it.

Imma

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2280 on: November 24, 2020, 01:33:10 PM »
I'm always surprised that so many people don't have their affairs in order. A lot of people really don't want to face their own mortality. Recently we found out that something like that happened in our family too - and that person was a mentally sharp 90-something. Even they had not seen death coming.

I have a law degree and whenever close friends go through a major life event I always inquire whether they've talked things through with a legal professional. I always say something like "I don't want to be rude, and I certainly don't want to know the details, but my professional experience is that it's important that you talk about your situation together to make sure you're on the same page about things and whether your paperwork reflects your wishes".

More than one couple actually came back to thank me about that, because they found out things they didn't know. Like that one person who bought a house with a relative, very similar to the situation described in this thread, relative moved out, new spouse moves in - my acquintance had absolutely no idea the relative was still on the deed and not the husband. They figured marriage would take care of that "because you get told you need to get married to get your affairs in order". Other fairly common things I've encountered in my work are life insurance policies benefitting an ex instead of a current partner, a new mortgage on a home one person owned before marriage that's on both names but the property is still in one name and outdated wills.

A very painful situation happened in my family not too long ago - my cousin, in her 30s, had a long-term partner in his 50s with adult kids from a previous marriage. Cousin and him had been together for years and had a family but wanted to wait with marriage until their kids were a bit older so they could share in the happy day. Waiting with marriage until the kids are older and have a family celebration has become quite common in our country, but in our jurisdiction there are several forms of civil partnership they could have chosen instead to get their affairs in order. But they didn't think that was necessary. Well, he had a heart attack and died and he left the house that he had owned for years before they met to his adult kids and his life insurance too. And I think his pension went to his ex. Legally you can't disinherit your kids so they went to court and his young children got a share too, but the adult kids owned most of it so they forced a sale. That sale generated some funds but it belongs to the kids, mum can't use it to buy a new home. They've all lived with her parents ever since.

I thought the same thing happened with my Dad. he passed away this year unexpectedly just shy of 88. Whenever we broached the topic of a will or getting affairs in orders he said that he had "taken care of it" and "don't worry about it." He passed unexpectedly. He did have my little brother on the two main accounts but there was not enough to cover funeral expenses. So we paid the bills and assumed we each would be on the hook for around 4K each. We were puzzled because he seemed so emphatic he had taken care of it. Anyways maybe a month later my sister going through the files and paperwork found a sealed envelope addressed to us. Between that and selling his car paid off the funeral expenses and gave each of us around 500. So he HAD planned it. Just that we almost didn't find it, and the whole process (especially trying to figure out what his wishes were and have it happen in a short period of time) was unnecessarily nerve wracking and stressful.  At the same time he lived very simply; unlike the horror stories here there was just an apartment with minimalistic furnishings (most of which is in my brother's garage). Every time I think of buying something for someone, I now think, who is going to have to deal with this after the person is gone? It just becomes junk at that point.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope what you had planned for him turned out to be what he wanted.

My mum recently called all of her kids to announce she had figured out where she wanted to be buried. Some of us were shocked since she's only 60 but I'm very glad she has been so explicit. Should the worst happen we'll know what to do.

@TheGrimSqueaker that's quite shocking actually! Until a few years ago, teenagers between 16 and 18 could get married in my country with parental consent, but now you always need permission from a judge if you're underage. I think that's a good development. There are too many stories of children pressured into marriage by their parents due to pregnancy. Now a judge can say no if they think one party doesn't really want to get married. I think permission is usually granted in case of pregnancy or when the bride or groom is terminally ill. Pregnancy is the only way to get permission to marry under the age of 16.

Plina

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2281 on: November 24, 2020, 02:27:30 PM »
Can you get married before 18? Here, it would require a special license, that is really hard to obtain.

It depends on whether the parents agree.

In California, Maine, Washington, Idaho, West Virginia and New Mexico there is no lower age limit, provided at least one parent or guardian consents.

There are several states that have low minimum ages. The lowest is in Massachusetts, where boys as young as 14 and girls as young as 12 can be married when the parents consent and the judge goes along with it. That dates back to English civil law; it doesn't appear that they got around to changing it. Massachusetts marriages do not emancipate the minor, but marriages in other states do.

In Hawaii, Kansas, Maryland, and Utah the minimum age of marriage is 15. In Mississippi it's 15 for females but 17 for males. Most states have a minimum age of 16 or 17. At age 18 it's no longer an underage marriage in most states... meaning parental consent is not required.

So yes, it's legal to marry 12-year-old females in Boston, provided the consent of at least one parent or guardian can be had and the judge goes along with it.

You learn so many different things in this forum.

Personally, I can't understand why you would want to marry your child under any circumstances. Since last year, we don't actually recognize child marriages under any circumstances. The law is made to prevent immigrants marrying off their children when they are on visit in their previous home countries. It is illegal to force your kid abroad to get married.

Kitsunegari

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2282 on: November 24, 2020, 07:56:17 PM »
Can you get married before 18? Here, it would require a special license, that is really hard to obtain.

It depends on whether the parents agree.

In California, Maine, Washington, Idaho, West Virginia and New Mexico there is no lower age limit, provided at least one parent or guardian consents.

There are several states that have low minimum ages. The lowest is in Massachusetts, where boys as young as 14 and girls as young as 12 can be married when the parents consent and the judge goes along with it. That dates back to English civil law; it doesn't appear that they got around to changing it. Massachusetts marriages do not emancipate the minor, but marriages in other states do.

In Hawaii, Kansas, Maryland, and Utah the minimum age of marriage is 15. In Mississippi it's 15 for females but 17 for males. Most states have a minimum age of 16 or 17. At age 18 it's no longer an underage marriage in most states... meaning parental consent is not required.

So yes, it's legal to marry 12-year-old females in Boston, provided the consent of at least one parent or guardian can be had and the judge goes along with it.

I'm looking it up and seems the 12 years of age is somewhat "advised" by common law, but not enforceable (in California at least), so a judge could theoretically give their nulla osta to someone wanting to marry a child under that age, if the child's guardians are allowing it?
« Last Edit: November 24, 2020, 08:00:48 PM by Kitsunegari »

RetiredAt63

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2283 on: November 25, 2020, 05:59:58 AM »
Since we are on age of marriage, in Canada it is the age of majority in your province, so 18/19.  You can get married at 16 with parental/court consent.  Average age of first marriage is late 20s/early 30s (old data). Lots live together first which partly pushes age of marriage up.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2284 on: November 25, 2020, 09:05:47 AM »
At some point, my son is going to realize that he was born 5.5 months after my husband and I got married.

You might want to talk to him about that. I realised that at some point about my parents and it was actually a really sucky thing to realise. I never talked to them about it, but I always wondered if maybe they never really wanted to get married but "had to" because I was on the way and so I trapped them into a marriage they never wanted. They had a tiny lunchtime wedding and there is only one photo. Is it because they're not showy people or because it was a bit of a rush? I mean, I'm highly over-dramatising things here, but I was a histrionic child with not very emotionally open parents and found it an unpleasant discovery when I was little.

Not that you need to have A Talk, but you might want to mention that it happens sometimes and it's OK.

20957

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2285 on: November 25, 2020, 10:54:16 AM »
Yeah. I had a friend in high school who was really sensitive about the fact that he was "illegitimate" (he used a different word). This despite the fact that his parents had later married and were still together. And none of us cared or even would have known if he hadn't brought it up. I suspect his marriage at 19 was related to that...

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2286 on: November 25, 2020, 11:12:11 AM »
At some point, my son is going to realize that he was born 5.5 months after my husband and I got married.

You might want to talk to him about that. I realised that at some point about my parents and it was actually a really sucky thing to realise. I never talked to them about it, but I always wondered if maybe they never really wanted to get married but "had to" because I was on the way and so I trapped them into a marriage they never wanted. They had a tiny lunchtime wedding and there is only one photo. Is it because they're not showy people or because it was a bit of a rush? I mean, I'm highly over-dramatising things here, but I was a histrionic child with not very emotionally open parents and found it an unpleasant discovery when I was little.

Not that you need to have A Talk, but you might want to mention that it happens sometimes and it's OK.

Yeah, I know.  He's only 7 though, so I figure that will come about the same time as the "where do babies come from" talk. 

jeninco

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2287 on: November 25, 2020, 12:10:30 PM »
At some point, my son is going to realize that he was born 5.5 months after my husband and I got married.

You might want to talk to him about that. I realised that at some point about my parents and it was actually a really sucky thing to realise. I never talked to them about it, but I always wondered if maybe they never really wanted to get married but "had to" because I was on the way and so I trapped them into a marriage they never wanted. They had a tiny lunchtime wedding and there is only one photo. Is it because they're not showy people or because it was a bit of a rush? I mean, I'm highly over-dramatising things here, but I was a histrionic child with not very emotionally open parents and found it an unpleasant discovery when I was little.

Not that you need to have A Talk, but you might want to mention that it happens sometimes and it's OK.

Yeah, I know.  He's only 7 though, so I figure that will come about the same time as the "where do babies come from" talk.

PSA: Which starts really soon! At least with age-appropriate explanations, which are as detailed as he seems to have the interest and attention span for!

partgypsy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2288 on: November 25, 2020, 08:14:17 PM »
Thank you imma (about dads passing). I think we did pretty good in retrospect. He was buried rather than cremated, and which was appropriate based on the faith he was raised in. The burial was videotaped and also live streamed. I was gratified because his burial when I checked a week later had hundreds of views (now over 800 views). My brother extremely randomly months later ran into someone that had worked at one of my dad's restaurants over a decade ago. And first thing that the guy said was, "I'm sorry to hear about your Dad". Who knows how he heard. The one thing we couldn't do, is my dad wanted a get together at a restaurant and to have a good time in his memory, and we couldn't because of covid. maybe in the future.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2020, 08:27:08 PM by partgypsy »

ender

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2289 on: November 25, 2020, 09:42:33 PM »
This makes me a little sad that my parents will know more about our will (we're going through that process now) than we will theirs.

Oh well.

Missy B

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2290 on: November 26, 2020, 11:48:06 PM »
When my bf's Dad got sick he didn't want to do any substantive discussions with people about inheritance, even when he knew he was terminal. He was one of those avoider-types. He left no will, but did say he wanted everything left to his (third) wife, a very needy and self-centered drama queen who complained all the way through how hard it was on her while managing to be completely ignorant of his care or medications. (If I sound nasty and unfairly harsh on her, please know she chain-smoked in their house through the entire final year of his illness, during which he was on oxygen and slowly dying of lung disease.)

My bf had a conversation with his Dad in which he point-blank asked for the only thing of his Dad's he really wanted, and his Dad got kind of huffy about why they couldn't sort all that out *after* he was dead, but his Dad did agree that he should have that thing. He also made copies of old slides and photos his Dad had of his childhood. His Dad also went and made sure he gave him a shoebox that he wanted to make sure my bf got. Bf didn't open it til later.
So, his Dad dies. No funeral, Dad didn't want one. The wife decides that no one can have anything of her husband's, including all the photos of their childhood that bf wasn't able to copy, that have nothing to do with her and which took place fully 30 years before Dad met her. Bf goes to take his thing and third wife acts like she will simply die if any object of his is removed from the house, and bf says, no, Dad agreed it was mine and you were there. I'm taking it. (He lives on the other side of the continent from them.) Third wife, no doubt sensing he will not back down, backs off.
Years later BTW, grandchildren still do not have the thing their Granpa wanted them to have, because third wife wouldn't let them take it at the time and someone has to go all the way cross country to get it.

So back to the box that of all the things his father owned, was the only thing he really made sure to give to his son while he was still alive. Bf opens the box, and what is in it?
Why, the wedding photos to the second wife. Not a long marriage, a few years, but he kept the photos for 25 years.


okisok

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2291 on: December 04, 2020, 06:26:22 PM »
Imma, you are such a late bloomer. Your auntie must be soooo disappointed...

The worst thing is, she truly is! I can't imagine actually caring enough about the life choices of family members I don't like to be disappointed in them. When we were still in touch she was in my phone as Hyacinth Bucket.


As long as you pronounce it Boo-KAY and not BUCK-it! Love this comparison. It gives me a very clear idea of what kind of person she is :)

La Bibliotecaria Feroz

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2292 on: December 05, 2020, 10:11:37 AM »
At some point, my son is going to realize that he was born 5.5 months after my husband and I got married.

You might want to talk to him about that. I realised that at some point about my parents and it was actually a really sucky thing to realise. I never talked to them about it, but I always wondered if maybe they never really wanted to get married but "had to" because I was on the way and so I trapped them into a marriage they never wanted. They had a tiny lunchtime wedding and there is only one photo. Is it because they're not showy people or because it was a bit of a rush? I mean, I'm highly over-dramatising things here, but I was a histrionic child with not very emotionally open parents and found it an unpleasant discovery when I was little.

Not that you need to have A Talk, but you might want to mention that it happens sometimes and it's OK.

Yeah, I know.  He's only 7 though, so I figure that will come about the same time as the "where do babies come from" talk.

My high school boyfriend was almost EIGHTEEN when he realized that his parent's eighteenth anniversary was only four months before his birthday. They had written both dates on the calendar. They were clearly waiting for him to math this out.

I had a friend who was born eight and a half months after her parents' wedding and I always liked to imagine people wondering she was a preemie before finding out she was ten pounds!

markbike528CBX

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2293 on: December 05, 2020, 11:55:00 AM »
At some point, my son is going to realize that he was born 5.5 months after my husband and I got married.

You might want to talk to him about that. I realised that at some point about my parents and it was actually a really sucky thing to realise. I never talked to them about it, but I always wondered if maybe they never really wanted to get married but "had to" because I was on the way and so I trapped them into a marriage they never wanted. They had a tiny lunchtime wedding and there is only one photo. Is it because they're not showy people or because it was a bit of a rush? I mean, I'm highly over-dramatising things here, but I was a histrionic child with not very emotionally open parents and found it an unpleasant discovery when I was little.

Not that you need to have A Talk, but you might want to mention that it happens sometimes and it's OK.

Yeah, I know.  He's only 7 though, so I figure that will come about the same time as the "where do babies come from" talk.

My high school boyfriend was almost EIGHTEEN when he realized that his parent's eighteenth anniversary was only four months before his birthday. They had written both dates on the calendar. They were clearly waiting for him to math this out.

I had a friend who was born eight and a half months after her parents' wedding and I always liked to imagine people wondering she was a preemie before finding out she was ten pounds!

Parents married in June, I was born healthy in November.   mmmmmm  :-)    I've figured this out previously.  I've forgotten my exact age of this realization (maybe 12?). 
As far as I know, no one mentioned it explicitly.  I'm sure it was a hush, hush matter to the families in the early 60's.   I'm healthy, so no big deal to me, except it makes me giggle a bit.  I do now understand my father's "keep it in your pants" version of the talk (no capital T there).

DaMa

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2294 on: December 07, 2020, 07:54:57 PM »
My daughter was also born 6.5 months after the wedding.  When I tried to discuss it with her, she said with voice dripping preteen disdain, "Mom, I know.  I can do the math!"

I was 28 at my grandparents' 50th anniversary, when I realized that my oldest uncle was born at least a month too early.  When I asked my mom, she laughed and said, "The story I got is that it was only one time, and Mom didn't know until after they were married." 

Rural

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2295 on: December 07, 2020, 08:08:31 PM »
My husband was over 40 when he realized his birthday was nine months to the day after senior prom.

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2296 on: December 07, 2020, 11:33:24 PM »
@Rural, I was going to deem you the winner of the thread, until I scrolled up to @DaMa's post. Dang, I've got to declare it a tie! Great stories, both of you! This has turned into a very entertaining sidebar.

Rubic

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2297 on: December 08, 2020, 04:56:53 AM »
I've joked with my parents if they'd had premarital sex (Catholics, no birth control)
they could have lowered my full retirement age for Social Security benefits.

Dad's response: "I tried."

Master of None

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2298 on: December 08, 2020, 08:51:58 AM »
No Inheritance Drama here...at least not yet, but I do have a story of something good that happened this past weekend. My grandfather who is 97 moved in with my parent's about a month ago due to him getting older in age and he didn't want to go into a nursing home. In order for that to work out they all purchased a larger home and both of their old houses are under contract. My grandfather packed up all of his must haves and took them to the new house and told the rest of the family that anything still at his house is fair game. So over the past few weeks family members have gone over and taken the few sentimental items that they would like to have. So far everyone has been extremely cordial and there hasn't been any issues. My wife and I were the last to go through the house and there was still quite a bit of stuff there. Surprisingly the family Antique Singer sewing machine was still there and it is fully operational. About 9 years ago he had a repairman come in and get it all working. He was thrilled when we took it as no one else wanted it. We got a few other small items which I hold dear to my heart but really all we want is for grandpa to be around longer. We've got a lot of wonderful years with him and I have to say that going through this process is going to help relieve some unneeded stress when he does pass. This is one time I've actually been proud of my family for not being absolutely insane.

ixtap

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2299 on: December 08, 2020, 10:41:02 AM »


I have a mid November birthday. A poor pastor once asked, in front of the whole congregation, why he had to announce so many birthdays this particular week. Most of those who responded kind of muttered "Valentines," but one guy was gleeful and louder than the rest.

My SIL and BIL have one kid in their arms and are clearly expecting again in their wedding pictures, but last I knew they were still telling the kids they waited until they got married...It seems to their family's version of Santa Claus, the older kids don't let on when they get it.