Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 1435678 times)

fredbear

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 170
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2050 on: March 17, 2020, 01:46:26 PM »

@fredbear , this just sounds so completely badass. I suppose it's what the wealthy did back when being wealthy meant you basically lived in a different world from everyone else.

So far as I know and believe, the letter-of-credit system I used as a hairy kid in Mexico eating fish just pulled from the sea was envisioned and set up by wealthy Jewish merchants and bankers in the Middle Ages.  It's hard to imagine how you set up a system of trust when voyages by land and by sea took months, you might not ever meet your correspondent in a city where they spoke a language you would never hear, and your whole enterprise could vanish tracelessly in a shipwreck or a bandit attack months away from your place of business.   Perhaps if you could import one of them down the corridors of time to now, they would be amazed that we trust hundreds of thousands of dollars to a click of a key. 

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8956
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2051 on: March 17, 2020, 03:06:04 PM »
I guess this thread will have an uptick of Inheritance Drama stories starting in about 3 to 6 months.

I'm trying to practice "see the bright side in everything" and gallows humor.  Might as well be efficient.

Dancin'Dog

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1759
  • Location: Here & There
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2052 on: March 17, 2020, 04:32:55 PM »
I guess this thread will have an uptick of Inheritance Drama stories starting in about 3 to 6 months.

I'm trying to practice "see the bright side in everything" and gallows humor.  Might as well be efficient.


I've been thinking the same thing.  There'll be a lot of greedy unemployed heirs & all kinds of resulting stories.  ;) 

jinga nation

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2696
  • Age: 247
  • Location: 'Murica's Dong
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2053 on: March 18, 2020, 06:46:58 AM »
I guess this thread will have an uptick of Inheritance Drama stories starting in about 3 to 6 months.

I'm trying to practice "see the bright side in everything" and gallows humor.  Might as well be efficient.


I've been thinking the same thing.  There'll be a lot of greedy unemployed heirs & all kinds of resulting stories.  ;)

Ah, another gallows humor chap methinks, only to notice it's the OG SwordGuy.
<1% of these inheriters will FIRE, 75% of them will blow the monies in 12-18% per my very scientific-handwaving data.
I demand every MMMer here report with facts (and spicy fiction too). We likes it hot.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22322
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2054 on: March 18, 2020, 06:51:56 AM »
I guess this thread will have an uptick of Inheritance Drama stories starting in about 3 to 6 months.

I'm trying to practice "see the bright side in everything" and gallows humor.  Might as well be efficient.
And to think that I was hesitant to go there...thanks for opening the back door to the dark side of humor. We need all we can get these days, @SwordGuy!

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8956
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2055 on: March 18, 2020, 09:59:03 AM »
I guess if it's my time to go, being buried in compliments isn't the worst option.

talltexan

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5344
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2056 on: March 18, 2020, 12:02:11 PM »
I actually wonder if a bunch of people aren't losing fortunes right now, meaning that the spike in deaths will include a bunch of families who thought grandpa was rich, but didn't realize he had it all in bank stocks and energy partnerships.

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8956
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2057 on: March 18, 2020, 12:05:04 PM »
I actually wonder if a bunch of people aren't losing fortunes right now, meaning that the spike in deaths will include a bunch of families who thought grandpa was rich, but didn't realize he had it all in bank stocks and energy partnerships.

All the more reason to make FIRE plans from one's own efforts instead of waiting to inherit it.

Villanelle

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6657
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2058 on: March 18, 2020, 12:16:05 PM »
My dad cheerily informed me that I've lost about 1/3 of my inheritance in the last few weeks.

I jokingly told him to take it out of my sister's half since I'm the favorite. 

I'm so glad we can openly discuss these things.  And that do it knowing that I'm not worried about my parents because their finances are fine, and they aren't worried about me because my finances are fine, and no one is worried about anyone being upset about anything regarding the finances or the inheritance. 

Sugaree

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1667
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2059 on: March 18, 2020, 02:22:43 PM »
I actually wonder if a bunch of people aren't losing fortunes right now, meaning that the spike in deaths will include a bunch of families who thought grandpa was rich, but didn't realize he had it all in bank stocks and energy partnerships.


I'm pretty sure my BIL was planning on making a request for another installment of the advance on his inheritance during his last minute trip down here last week.  He picked a bad week to do it. 

zolotiyeruki

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5603
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2060 on: March 18, 2020, 02:24:11 PM »
Well, if you're in the older vulnerable demographic and want to maximize your gifting potential, this is a great time--$15,000 can buy a lot more stock than it could a month ago!

okits

  • CMTO 2023 Attendees
  • Senior Mustachian
  • *
  • Posts: 13017
  • Location: Canada
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2061 on: March 18, 2020, 02:26:06 PM »
I guess if it's my time to go, being buried in compliments isn't the worst option.

I have always admired your attitude, SwordGuy.

trashtalk

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 198
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2062 on: March 18, 2020, 10:12:51 PM »
I actually wonder if a bunch of people aren't losing fortunes right now, meaning that the spike in deaths will include a bunch of families who thought grandpa was rich, but didn't realize he had it all in bank stocks and energy partnerships.


I'm pretty sure my BIL was planning on making a request for another installment of the advance on his inheritance during his last minute trip down here last week.  He picked a bad week to do it.
Do we have the same BIL? Is yours overleveraged after a real-estate buying spree and will need cash to cover mortgage payments if all his tenants are out of work for the duration?

Sugaree

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1667
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2063 on: March 19, 2020, 06:05:25 AM »
I actually wonder if a bunch of people aren't losing fortunes right now, meaning that the spike in deaths will include a bunch of families who thought grandpa was rich, but didn't realize he had it all in bank stocks and energy partnerships.


I'm pretty sure my BIL was planning on making a request for another installment of the advance on his inheritance during his last minute trip down here last week.  He picked a bad week to do it.
Do we have the same BIL? Is yours overleveraged after a real-estate buying spree and will need cash to cover mortgage payments if all his tenants are out of work for the duration?

Nah.  Over educated, under employed, works at a fancy prep school where tuition costs more than he makes in a year.  Will probably not be paid if this place shuts down the rest of the school year.  But mommy and daddy have been paying his rent for years anyway. 

ice813

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 45
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2064 on: March 22, 2020, 06:20:22 PM »
What happens to credit card debt when a person dies? I understand that a car, boat or house would be repo'd but what about $25K of consumer debt spent on TVs, clothes, and outings?

Credit card debt is unsecured debt and does not have to be repayed by the estate when the debtor passes. We ran into this when my grandfather passed last year. The customer service guy told us multiple times the estate did not have to pay the debt. We did anyways because Pops would roll over in his grave if we welched on a debt just because we legally could.

dandarc

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5457
  • Age: 41
  • Pronouns: he/him/his
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2065 on: March 22, 2020, 06:28:38 PM »
@ice813

I don't think that is true. The estate would be obligated to pay any creditors before other distributions are made.

Villanelle

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6657
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2066 on: March 22, 2020, 07:59:14 PM »
The estate is absolutely liable for cerdit card debt, in the sense that the companies can come for what they are owed before any inheritance is paid out.  If someone told you differently, they were misinformed.

But heirs are not responsible for the debt.  If someone owes $40,000 and the estate is only worth $30,000, the companies eat that extra $10,000.  They can't force someone to pay for debt taken out by someone else, unless that someone legally agreed to be responsible (co-signing, for example).

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8956
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2067 on: March 22, 2020, 09:53:10 PM »
The estate is absolutely liable for cerdit card debt, in the sense that the companies can come for what they are owed before any inheritance is paid out.  If someone told you differently, they were misinformed.

But heirs are not responsible for the debt.  If someone owes $40,000 and the estate is only worth $30,000, the companies eat that extra $10,000.  They can't force someone to pay for debt taken out by someone else, unless that someone legally agreed to be responsible (co-signing, for example).

This is correct.

ice813

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 45
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2068 on: March 23, 2020, 09:10:04 AM »
Thank you for the clarification. Yes, Pops did not have any assets.

Freedomin5

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6485
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2069 on: April 01, 2020, 02:46:26 AM »
We were visiting a relative a couple weeks ago (before lockdowns and social distancing were a thing) and they mentioned that they were looking to buy a place. This person works a minimum wage job and definitely cannot afford a $300K condo, which is what condos in our HCOL city go for. You basically can’t find anything cheaper than that within the city limits in a decent area of town.

I asked how they were able to afford the downpayment. Turns out they had been asked to be an executor of an estate of their recently deceased ex-MIL. Basically, relative divorced spouse a long time ago, but ex-spouse’s mother had kept relative on her will as the executor. Relative was expecting to get some money as payment for her role as the executor and also expecting to get some inheritance from the estate.

Okaaaay.

So she wanted to buy a place before prices went up even further in a hot real estate market.

Okaaaay.

Has she seen a penny of the money yet?  No.

Does she know how much she will be getting?  No.

Has the estate received the tax clearance certificate from the government yet, which usually takes years to get, and which is required before a prudent executor will disburse the inheritance to the heirs?  No.

Okaaay.

So basically, she wants to buy a condo with an unknown amount of money that she does not have and that she does not know when or if she will even get.

My mind just cannot compute the logic in this one. Maybe she doesn’t have anything better to occupy her time?

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22322
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2070 on: April 01, 2020, 02:53:28 AM »
^^Looks like it's popcorn time! This is gonna be good.^^

saguaro

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 232
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2071 on: April 01, 2020, 09:48:39 AM »
^^Looks like it's popcorn time! This is gonna be good.^^

Indeed.  In handling my parents' estate, let's just say a lot of "assumptions" that my sister made as executor didn't pan out and was a costly lesson. 

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22322
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2072 on: April 01, 2020, 11:07:42 AM »
^^Looks like it's popcorn time! This is gonna be good.^^

Indeed.  In handling my parents' estate, let's just say a lot of "assumptions" that my sister made as executor didn't pan out and was a costly lesson.
My sister was not the executor, but she was a pain in the ass during the process and blew through her share and then some. I bet she wishes she had it now. I called my brother, the co-exec, and asked him what he thought about me paying her rent this month. He asked if I had lost my mind, which brought me back to my senses. I sent a few checks to others in need instead.

talltexan

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5344
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2073 on: April 01, 2020, 12:05:20 PM »
My wife and I are pretty mindful about how we can be generous, but she's concerned about her employer laying her off, so I'm not able to get her to buy in with a lot of the generosity I want to show right now.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7062
  • Location: BC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2074 on: April 01, 2020, 02:26:18 PM »
This story-in progress is not so much a drama as a long slog...
A friend's MIL passed away about 4 years ago, leaving behind her only son, who was 71 at the time.

She owned a condo, but had been moved to the hospital, then 2 months of LTC (government subsidized) before passing.  She had bank accounts, at least one of which was joint with her son.

My friend and her husband have always kept most of their finances separate, and she was working full time her whole life and never really looked beyond her own finances, and even then rarely.  A "set it and forget it' sort of person.

Well, her husband has onset of alzheimers and last year she discovered that he had not done their taxes for three years.  He would start, need or forget something, and then was too embarassed to tell her or proceed.  Okay then.   She hired an accountant and paid the penalties and is now back to current.

One outstanding item is the MIL's condo that her husband inherited.  They had been paying the HOA, taxes , utilties and other fees each month, and had their two grown daughters living there full time.  Now that one daughter is gone to a job elsewhere, and one is moving in the next year, they want to have funds to maintain their own home and set aside long term care money for her husband. 

The apartment's annual costs were too much to comfortably handle on their income, as my friend is retired now.  They need a large sum of money in the next few years.   The condo is in her husband's control and he has quickly declining health.   I suggested that she get it ready and sell it, splitting proceeds with the kids if she wants, but that selling it before her husband passes would be a lot less stressful (and faster at a difficult time).

Guess what?   It turns out that her husband never executed the MIL's will.  That means that it needs to still go to probate, to assign an executor and allow transfer of title of the condo to him to inherit so they can sell it.  But she needs to somehow find the information to submit for probate and only has MIL's SSN, and maybe a death certificate.  She looked and looked and finally found a handwritten will that was properly witnessed, so the paralegal says it looks acceptable.  MIL moved from Germany at retirement and only collected a foreign pension, so there is limited information on her, almost all her documents are in German, my friend does not speak German.   She needs to find more identity type documents and try to locate accounts, etc.

She also needs to file a final tax return for MIL, because DH wasn't filing anyone's taxes.   

I think this partly explains why DH just kept paying all the bills for the condo as they came in, did not want to discuss the condo, etc. -->he knew he needed to do a lot of legal and paperwork, but did not know how to get started, was embarassed and did not tell my friend.  DH is also a bit of a hoarder and reluctant to go through anything to donate / pare down of MIL's. 

Such a mess.  Hopefully my friend can get assigned as executor in her husband's place, and the courts don't assign someone independent.. and that she finds some of the missing records, and finds someone who reads German to help her... during Covid.

scottish

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2716
  • Location: Ottawa
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2075 on: April 01, 2020, 02:45:54 PM »
This story-in progress is not so much a drama as a long slog...
A friend's MIL passed away about 4 years ago, leaving behind her only son, who was 71 at the time.

She owned a condo, but had been moved to the hospital, then 2 months of LTC (government subsidized) before passing.  She had bank accounts, at least one of which was joint with her son.

My friend and her husband have always kept most of their finances separate, and she was working full time her whole life and never really looked beyond her own finances, and even then rarely.  A "set it and forget it' sort of person.

Well, her husband has onset of alzheimers and last year she discovered that he had not done their taxes for three years.  He would start, need or forget something, and then was too embarassed to tell her or proceed.  Okay then.   She hired an accountant and paid the penalties and is now back to current.

One outstanding item is the MIL's condo that her husband inherited.  They had been paying the HOA, taxes , utilties and other fees each month, and had their two grown daughters living there full time.  Now that one daughter is gone to a job elsewhere, and one is moving in the next year, they want to have funds to maintain their own home and set aside long term care money for her husband. 

The apartment's annual costs were too much to comfortably handle on their income, as my friend is retired now.  They need a large sum of money in the next few years.   The condo is in her husband's control and he has quickly declining health.   I suggested that she get it ready and sell it, splitting proceeds with the kids if she wants, but that selling it before her husband passes would be a lot less stressful (and faster at a difficult time).

Guess what?   It turns out that her husband never executed the MIL's will.  That means that it needs to still go to probate, to assign an executor and allow transfer of title of the condo to him to inherit so they can sell it.  But she needs to somehow find the information to submit for probate and only has MIL's SSN, and maybe a death certificate.  She looked and looked and finally found a handwritten will that was properly witnessed, so the paralegal says it looks acceptable.  MIL moved from Germany at retirement and only collected a foreign pension, so there is limited information on her, almost all her documents are in German, my friend does not speak German.   She needs to find more identity type documents and try to locate accounts, etc.

She also needs to file a final tax return for MIL, because DH wasn't filing anyone's taxes.   

I think this partly explains why DH just kept paying all the bills for the condo as they came in, did not want to discuss the condo, etc. -->he knew he needed to do a lot of legal and paperwork, but did not know how to get started, was embarassed and did not tell my friend.  DH is also a bit of a hoarder and reluctant to go through anything to donate / pare down of MIL's. 

Such a mess.  Hopefully my friend can get assigned as executor in her husband's place, and the courts don't assign someone independent.. and that she finds some of the missing records, and finds someone who reads German to help her... during Covid.

Oh boy.   I'm executor of my parents'  estates and I can't even get to the point where I'm on hold to talk to the broker, all I can get is a fast busy.     I can't imagine trying settle an estate right now.

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22322
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2076 on: April 01, 2020, 11:12:49 PM »
@Goldielocks, were the daughters paying rent? Honestly, I wouldn't even try to resolve it before this pandemic ends.

It's waited this long, it can wait a little longer. She should prioritize getting her husband's POA, Advance Directive, etc. together first. Then she can tackle the estate. Whatever it's going to be has already happened, rushing now isn't likely to change much.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7062
  • Location: BC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2077 on: April 02, 2020, 12:27:17 AM »
@Goldielocks, were the daughters paying rent? Honestly, I wouldn't even try to resolve it before this pandemic ends.

It's waited this long, it can wait a little longer. She should prioritize getting her husband's POA, Advance Directive, etc. together first. Then she can tackle the estate. Whatever it's going to be has already happened, rushing now isn't likely to change much.

No, the daughters were not paying rent, only the internet bill and their own cell phones / transportation.   I think it started with them moving in while they finished university and dad never changed the terms.  They are good daughters, not freeloaders and will help the mom sort through all the things left behind at the condo and help get it ready for sale now.

You are correct about priorities.  But she has now completed the POA and advance directive and the will, just needs one daughter to go and sign something about joint account / POA at the bank.  (The large account POA was set up to require 2 signatures). 

So this is the next step -- at least to get the probate request documents in, so she can sit and wait for the 4months to 1 year for it to be processed.

After that, she is continuing to sort out all the bank accounts / pensions / other accounts between her and her husband,  She keeps finding ones that she missed, or finding that he forgot to apply for one of his pensions when he retired and he is now 75, etc.  Alzheimers.  It's a mess.  At least in addition to extra paperwork and legal stuff, she keeps finding more accounts with money in them.

screwit

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 190
  • Location: Germany
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2078 on: April 16, 2020, 05:32:55 AM »
and that she finds some of the missing records, and finds someone who reads German to help her... during Covid.

I'm based in Germany and know a number of German -> English freelance translators. You could DM me and I could maybe connect them with someone.

TheGrimSqueaker

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2606
  • Location: A desert wasteland, where none but the weird survive
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2079 on: April 16, 2020, 08:18:37 AM »
and that she finds some of the missing records, and finds someone who reads German to help her... during Covid.

I'm based in Germany and know a number of German -> English freelance translators. You could DM me and I could maybe connect them with someone.

Could a video chat or phone based option be realistic? As long as the person being read to can hear well or read lips, and the person on the other end can see the document, is it vital for the person doing the reading to be in the same room?

screwit

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 190
  • Location: Germany
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2080 on: April 17, 2020, 12:26:36 AM »
and that she finds some of the missing records, and finds someone who reads German to help her... during Covid.

I'm based in Germany and know a number of German -> English freelance translators. You could DM me and I could maybe connect them with someone.

Could a video chat or phone based option be realistic? As long as the person being read to can hear well or read lips, and the person on the other end can see the document, is it vital for the person doing the reading to be in the same room?

I think just sending the documents for translation would be the most straight forward way, also because the pronunciation differences between English and German can make it really difficult to understand if it's being phonetically read aloud. If it needs to be a certified translation I think they have to see the document but I don't think they have to be in the same room.

Goldielocks

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7062
  • Location: BC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2081 on: April 17, 2020, 01:17:16 PM »
and that she finds some of the missing records, and finds someone who reads German to help her... during Covid.

I'm based in Germany and know a number of German -> English freelance translators. You could DM me and I could maybe connect them with someone.

Could a video chat or phone based option be realistic? As long as the person being read to can hear well or read lips, and the person on the other end can see the document, is it vital for the person doing the reading to be in the same room?
I know a few german speaking people in my area, too.  I think she wants to try this with her husband's (diminishing) help, and has a lot of privacy needs and feels to be worked through first.

SwordGuy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8956
  • Location: Fayetteville, NC
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2082 on: April 20, 2020, 02:51:03 PM »
Spoiler alert.

If this epidemic is still too close to you emotionally, you probably shouldn't open the spoiler.   It's very dark humor.   

On the other hand, if your social maturity peaked at "10 year old boy child raised by wolves" level (like my darling wife thinks mine did) or gallows humor helps you cope (also guilty), then this just might make you laugh.

You have been warned. 

PS -- If for some reason you feel obliged to copy this, get the darn spoiler tags right and use the preview button to verify you did it right before you post.

Spoiler: show


Anyone have some relatives who won't take the social distancing instructions seriously?   Go to protests and stand in close proximity to other folks and don't wear masks, etc.?

Start practicing your writing skills for the upcoming inheritance drama stories coming your way!   Pictures and obituaries or it didn't happen!   Bonus points for completed and submitted Darwin Award nominations!

Enquiring minds want to know!



Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22322
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2083 on: April 21, 2020, 05:39:18 AM »
Lol. I'm a dark/gallows humor fan. I also have plenty of popcorn...and patience, though I suspect there won't be much need to draw on the latter...

saguaro

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 232
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2084 on: April 21, 2020, 01:14:36 PM »
Lol. I'm a dark/gallows humor fan. I also have plenty of popcorn...and patience, though I suspect there won't be much need to draw on the latter...

Same here.

Spoiler: show
DH and I aren't taking bets....yet.  But there has been discussion on who in the family will finally flout the social distancing rules (if they haven't already) because, you know, it's all a hoax.

Capsu78

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 765
  • Location: Chicagoland
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2085 on: July 13, 2020, 11:00:12 AM »
Just bumping this up as the disfunction displayed in the prior posts has provided many readers comforting reassurance that our own families sorta seem normal!

talltexan

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5344
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2086 on: July 13, 2020, 11:10:56 AM »
I mentioned to my BiL that I wanted another hobby, was considering golf. He suggested waiting for the wave of estate sales that are coming so I can pick up some golf clubs, used and inexpensive.

Sibley

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7428
  • Location: Northwest Indiana
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2087 on: July 15, 2020, 07:59:44 AM »
I mentioned to my BiL that I wanted another hobby, was considering golf. He suggested waiting for the wave of estate sales that are coming so I can pick up some golf clubs, used and inexpensive.

Or the decluttering. Seriously, I keep hearing that thrift stores are overwhelmed.

Hunny156

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 482
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2088 on: July 15, 2020, 01:40:30 PM »
Just a little, COVID-related inheritance drama:

April was very bad in NYC, as everyone knows.  Hubby lost a grandmother and a grandfather, on the opposite sides of the family, within 3 days of each other.  Grandpa was 93, still living at home w/the assistance of home health; his aide got the virus and could not get a test, but by the time she had symptoms, Grandpa was affected, I can't imagine how many others.  he tested positive and was doing well for 3 weeks, but ultimately took a turn for the worse and spent 2 days in the hospital, where he was given medicine to be comofrtable before the inevitable occurred.  His son and wife were able to keep him company for a short while in the hospital, followed by quarantine, but they did not catch anything.  He went straight to cremation, and with most of the family living in other states, well, not much we can do there.

Grandmother had turned 98 earlier the same week, lived in a Medicaid nursing home for many years.  We recieved conflicting info, but understandable, given the craziness.  As it turned out, she's a suspected covid case; 1 person on her floor tested positive, and we were just notified that she had passed on.  She left behind 2 sons - my FIL and his brother.  We all live out of state, and Grandmother had a plot, so a burial was set up.  Thankfully, the uncle and aunt on the other side of the family were kind enough to "attend" the burial as the only family living locally, which was a drive by of the casket being lowered into the grave.

Hubby broke quarantine to go see his Dad when we got word; this turned out to be a good move, b/c FIL moves slowly and is not saavy, so hubby was able to make the arrangements and FedEx the required original deed to the plot to the funeral director, so they were able to claim the body before it was moved to the cornoner's office and potentially buried in a mass grave.  Being a Medicaid patient, pre-planning the funeral was required, so that part was simple.  FIL was also not financially saavy, and lives on his social security income plus a small investment account that his wife managed not to completely spend before she passed a few years ago.  I'm watching the account drain at a rate of 13%/year, so we all know that's not good, but it is what it is.  His brother is much younger and well off; homeowner, 2 kids that are a few years out of college and received full rides to good universities, a working wife, lots of travel up until the pandemic.  He was downsized a few years ago, but opted to simply retire at that point, as he was able to collect SS early - no idea if he has or hasn't.  He also has been mostly un-involved in his mother's care, or his parents aging, during most of his adult life, generally regarded as selfish by FIL and an older brother who passed years ago.

None of us even considered that since the arrangements were cut short due to covid, that there would be a credit balance with the funeral home; if we had considered it, we would have assumed property of the state as a very small reimbursement for the many years of care in the nursing home.  But not the brother!!  Funeral director calls FIL days after the burial, and he has an awkward question - does he have a brother?  Long story short, brother called the funeral home, asking what the balance was on the account, and when he would be receiving his half!  Just, wow.  I have no doubt that the casket took up most of the funds; guesstimating from my own mother's service about a year ago, I'd be surprised if there was $2K in the account, to cover the wake and the funeral mass that couldn't take place.

The greed of people never ceases to amaze!

Hunny156

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 482
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2089 on: July 15, 2020, 03:33:04 PM »
So if I followed that story correctly, Grandma died alone during a pandemic and having done nothing to help with patient care or funeral planning, DH's Uncle contacted the funeral home to ask for a refund on his mother's prepaid funeral package?

Wow.  Just wow.

Correct!

mm1970

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10881
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2090 on: July 15, 2020, 04:32:08 PM »
I mentioned to my BiL that I wanted another hobby, was considering golf. He suggested waiting for the wave of estate sales that are coming so I can pick up some golf clubs, used and inexpensive.

Or the decluttering. Seriously, I keep hearing that thrift stores are overwhelmed.
We started decluttering BEFORE COVID, and we have a pile...haven't donated.

On the other hand, you cannot find weights anywhere.  In a year or two, they'll be cheap.

Hula Hoop

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1762
  • Location: Italy
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2091 on: July 16, 2020, 02:44:18 PM »
So if I followed that story correctly, Grandma died alone during a pandemic and having done nothing to help with patient care or funeral planning, DH's Uncle contacted the funeral home to ask for a refund on his mother's prepaid funeral package?

Wow.  Just wow.

Correct!

My God.  People are awful.

Villanelle

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6657
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2092 on: July 17, 2020, 12:52:34 PM »
It would seem to me that the funeral home would have to release the funds to the executor/estate, not to individuals who claim some right to them based on familial relationships.  No?  If, for example, the brother was excluded from the will, he wouldn't be entitled to anything.  So there is no way the funeral home can determine who gets a piece, which would mean the money goes to the estate.

scottish

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2716
  • Location: Ottawa
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2093 on: July 17, 2020, 03:24:43 PM »
That's how it works in Canada...

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22322
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2094 on: July 17, 2020, 04:00:23 PM »
It would seem to me that the funeral home would have to release the funds to the executor/estate, not to individuals who claim some right to them based on familial relationships.  No?  If, for example, the brother was excluded from the will, he wouldn't be entitled to anything.  So there is no way the funeral home can determine who gets a piece, which would mean the money goes to the estate.

That's how it works in Canada...
Funny, I was my parent's co-executor and co-trustee. It never even occurred to us to ask if there was any money left over. Too late now, but I wonder if this really happens often?

scottish

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2716
  • Location: Ottawa
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2095 on: July 17, 2020, 07:44:56 PM »
I just meant in general.    Balances, positive or negative, go to the estate for settlement, not to some guy who claims to be an heir.

Neither of my parents pre-paid their funeral expenses.

iris lily

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5672
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2096 on: July 17, 2020, 09:18:47 PM »
Yeah, so here’s a little bit of family drama not as bad as many of the ones here but it’s still annoying.  It will be abbreviated to keep details general.

 DH’s father’s estate of  $1+  Million still has not been settled after many months. Granted, some of that is related to coronavirus. But there is strife among the siblings that slows progress.

One sibling is resistant to many decisions, big and small, as everyone expected.

The siblings have decided to keep the family business and run it as a partnership.(!)

Because that makes so much sense, given existing relations. (!!)

What can possibly go wrong here? (!!!)  / sarcasm




Imma

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3193
  • Location: Europe
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2097 on: July 18, 2020, 02:42:01 AM »
It would seem to me that the funeral home would have to release the funds to the executor/estate, not to individuals who claim some right to them based on familial relationships.  No?  If, for example, the brother was excluded from the will, he wouldn't be entitled to anything.  So there is no way the funeral home can determine who gets a piece, which would mean the money goes to the estate.

That's how it works in Canada...
Funny, I was my parent's co-executor and co-trustee. It never even occurred to us to ask if there was any money left over. Too late now, but I wonder if this really happens often?

I'm surprised they don't pay the money back automatically. I worked for a big funeral insurance company about a decade ago and paying the leftover money back was my job. The insurance allowed a certain amount of money for every necessary item (like €200 for flowers, €120 for cards, €75 for thank you notes) and if people didn't choose to buy flowers for example, they'd get that money back. About 3 months after the funeral I'd make up the invoice and if they went under budget we refunded them automatically.

What shocked me when I started working there is how many elderly people don't get funerals at all. Those people would have had funeral insurance for decades, so I assume they had some wish for a funeral at some point in their lives, but many childless elderly people didn't get one. Instead their next of kin would have the body picked up from the nursing home, cremated without a service, and the ashes scattered by us. It happened to my grandma's friend, her nephews hadn't even informed her friends. The friend lived two hours away, when she no longer picked up the phone and letters weren't answered, my grandparents drove over and asked the neighbours if they knew if she had maybe moved to a nursing home. Instead they heard she was dead and her flat was cleared out the same week and sold soon after.

This has made me think about my own future. We're still young, but childless. And we don't have nieces and nephews on either side, only a few siblings that we're not very close to and who don't live in this area. After our parents have passed away we will probably appoint a friend (ideally a bit younger)  as next of kin instead.

Zamboni

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3882
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2098 on: July 19, 2020, 06:41:11 AM »
^Yes, good idea. And if you want that person to notify specific people when you die, then you need to give them a list of their names and contact information in writing. Otherwise, how do they know who your friends are or how to contact them?

Sometimes you can just have key contacts in different groups you belong to with a request that these key folks spread the word about your passing (in modern times, this is often through an email list or listserv.)

Anyway, I had an estate planner suggest that I do that as part of their boilerplate package. It was an interesting mental exercise to figure out all of the different groups and people we would like to notify, if for no other reason than we don't want them to feel bad that they didn't even know when they find out about the death by accident months or years afterwards.

former player

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8827
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #2099 on: July 19, 2020, 08:07:17 AM »
My brother and I have now had to work through lists of telephone numbers and do the "I'm ringing with bad news, I'm afraid, [my relative] has died" 4 different times.

It never gets easier on that end of things either.