I dread my mom’s passing. Mainly because I absolutely adore her, but secondarily because she and my (now-deceased) father made me and my two siblings co-executors and, to make matters worse, co-owners on a transfer on death deed for their house. And one of my sisters has resided in said house for > 30 years, and will be very tough to dislodge, despite being completely incapable of caring for said house. She hasn’t even done her own laundry in > 30 years. (Can you imagine having your 83-year-old mother doing your laundry?) Reading these stories doesn’t make me feel better.
It may be tough for you to decide to do it, but I'm pretty sure that legally it's quite straightforward.
https://www.lawyers.com/ask-a-lawyer/trusts-estates/can-a-family-owned-property-be-sold-without-one-members-consent-1641374.html
I bought a house like this last fall, one of several heirs went to the court and the court forced a sale.
Never underestimate the ability, motivation and singular focus of a recalcitrant co-owner to Snafu a sale, even if court-ordered. We narrowly avoided the scenario of my mom’s will giving joint ownership of her home to my sister and I. I had to pull in the Big Guns (call my aunt and uncle) to escape.
I posted a nightmare story on this forum a while ago, from when my dad died. It was cathartic :). After my sister went nutso when I was doing his estate, my mom updated her will (to give sister an annuity and to house to be sold...neither here nor there..Mom was trying to keep sister from being homeless in her old age without doing a trust.).
[*flashback*] To refresh your memories, sister was a do-nothing, no job, in her 30s, college educated, no purpose. She half-lived in dad’s house, and copious amounts of her crap resided in dad’s already full basement. Dad died unexpectedly at 70 y.o. Incidentally, he recently had cancelled his life insurance policy - not sure if that jinxed him. (He would likely find this comment hysterical, just FYI.)
Ok, sorry. Focusing: Sister proceeds to take over the house, leaving her detritus of life everywhere (envision hot pink and black bras draped over the washing machine and on a kitchen chair, dirty undies and pjs left in the hallway in front of her bedroom, her groceries and snacks and papers and books strewn across all flat surfaces in the kitchen...), all whilst my DH and I are there for dad’s final arrangements and for me to set up the estate. DH describes it as “marking her territory”. Fortunately, dad left the choice of selling the house up to his executor (unfortunately me, though I’d rather do it than have my sister do it). At least in this case, I was able to change the locks and get her out. Eventually.
After loads of work and drama, the house went on the market with a wonderful pit bull of an agent...to be under contract within just a few weeks. This was when I learned that realtors call, shall we say, lower tier home inspectors when they want a deal to go through. That gentleman must’ve been confused; he certainly failed to look up at the patched pipes in the basement, which I know from reading his inspection report.
Ok, so we’re days from closing. I’ve signed off in advance, and DH and I were packing to drive the 12 hrs or so for “the final pack out” over a weekend. Then I receive a kindly letter from sister’s attorney, ranting and just shy of ordering me to delay the closing. Um, no? I still remember the attorney’s name, including how she spells it. And yes, in case you’re wondering, sister tried to bill her attorney fees to the estate. (hahahahaha, no.) Luckily, I’d already spoken to an attorney, so I called him. He read the letter and he advised to ignore it (all gratis, because some people are saints). Also luckily, my sister is not very sophisticated or strategic or cunning, else she could’ve sabotaged the sale in other ways - damaging the house, going to the courts, showing up to harass the buyer... She’d already dragged her feet removing her belongings, things of dad’s that she wanted, and a motorcycle. It was ridiculous. [end flashback]
Fast forward to now. Several years after the nightmare of dad’s estate, my mom goes back to update her will. She wanted to get rid of the annuity and do something else for my sister. Sister has stayed at mom’s house for many months at a time, no job until recently and not consistent work (DH feels she is running out of money). Mom says priceless comments such as, “oh, she’s so helpful” “[she] loaded the car for me, and I didn’t have to do a thing” “[she] picked this or that up at the store for me” and my favorite, “ Oh,everyone here just looooooves [sister]” —> this last referring to all of my mom’s friends and neighbors. I will spare you my responses, both the one I actually said and the many others kicking around in my head for the next several weeks. Lol
Mom is at the attorney. Her plan *going in* was to update her will to give sister the house and me an equivalence in money (mom has plenty), the rest split 50/50, with a few specific bequests (as before). No annuity, no trust fund. Sister obviously likes living there and has been adopted by mom’s friends and neighbors (right?!?). Then sister could sift through mom’s things at her leisure, and sell later if she wanted. Selfishly, this saves her executor (me) from having to clean and sell the house. Her plan *going out* was to will the house to both sister and I, and her other assets to be split 50/50 (that part isn’t important). What IS important is that she was planning to force me to put my name on something with sister. We’ve never gotten along. Dad’s estate was a horror solely because of her. Mom’s friends may love the new persona, but all the old family friends neighbors I know flat out say she’s crazy, among other things. One sweet old lady (family friend) uses the word hoochie mama -to my DH, not me. Does a leopard change its spots?
Mom tells me of this brilliant update late in the evening after seeing her attorney, and tells me they’re drawing it up for her to sign. I feel my blood pressure spike and my hands start shaking. I breathe slowly through my nose and ask a few questions. The attorney-who must’ve taken stupid pills that day - told my mom it’s not that hard to force a sale in her state (TN) - it’s just a piece of paper, and the courts generally approve it without a big fuss. He was concerned (or she became concerned) that there might not be enough money, or that the will order of property disposition was the house and then money later or goodness knows what. I don’t feel those concerns are justified, but let’s just say they are legit. So, the solution is to give the house to TWO people, one of whom demonstrably went categorically apeshit last time this happened.
Fantastic. I proceed to freak out, because apparently mom forgot that I nearly called the police on my sister during dad’s estate, not to mention how nearly impossible it was to get her planted butt out of that house. And now she’s going to have her executor put both names on the DEED?! Okay? What could go wrong? In TN, two people co-owning a house means each gets full use of the house. Sister could create a trailer park on the property, bring in illegal immigrants (mom’s pet peeve) - or worse - democrats (gasp !!), or simply take over the whole place with her own living, full the garage with junk (probably from dad’s), not pay the property taxes/insurance and not upkeep anything while still living there, wander around in her underwear when a realtor tries to show the house, or it might not even be here but some good boyfriend she comes up with...all I could think was [!!!!!!!].
I called my aunt and uncle That Night, this cannot happen is my thinking and mom was in lala land. All I can think is the attorney overwhelmed my mom, and she lost her way. My aunt and uncle (who knows what they thought) saved the day and somehow steered mom away from this horrendously misguided advise from the attorney. It was in their own best interests: my aunt is the backup executor. Now the will is back to requiring the house be sold - sister will have a month to decide if she wants it. I feel that is reasonably safe - sister won’t likely be able to decide anything that fast.
So. The moral of this story is: do not leave real property to multiple people, unless you hate them and want to punish them.
