I belong to a forum full of primarily women, and another member was asking for our opinion on her day home pricing. I suggested to the original poster that if she had a personal savings cushion, she wouldn't always have to be so worried about money.
About 4 other women piped up and told me because I was wealthy, I couldn't possibly understand having to worry about money, and about just how unrealistic it was to have a personal savings cushion, when most people were just struggling to keep up with their bills.
I mentioned that savings was just the difference between what you make, and what you spend, and I was told that I was being judgemental.
I want to hit someone in the facewith a chair
Nothing to add, but I did have to look up what day home pricing means. It took me far too long to figure out what you were talking about.
Back to the topic and chair flinging...
And I said it in as non-face punchy way possible.
"I know this advice might be over-reaching, but I've found that I have been more free in my professional life, to not accept work that was more hassle than it was worth, by having a healthy personal cash savings account.
When you aren't thinking about money as your #1 worry, you can weigh the pros and cons, (I call that the bull sheet quotient) and decide if I want to do a specific job or not. "
Meh, H8rs gonna H8. People in real life get annoyed with me when I suggest they might not need _____. Can't imagine the internet response.
We send you warm puppy comfort here in the hairy upper lip forum. And how do you make the little chair move in your post?
And how do you make the little chair move in your post?
just put move and /move in tags like you would for a quote, or bold, or italics, etc. If you quote someones post you can see the code they usedlike this
So, does she run a day home and want opinions on what she charges, or does she patronize one, and want opinions on what she's paying?
In response to the OP, I get the same attitude from a friend who's a financial train wreck. Even though her financial problems are frequently the topic of conversation and she's constantly asking for "advice," what she really wants is sympathy and validation of her poor financial choices. Because I've become financially independent with a similar income and life situation, I'm sure she perceives me as criticizing her just by existing!
I belong to a forum full of primarily women, and another member was asking for our opinion on her day home pricing. I suggested to the original poster that if she had a personal savings cushion, she wouldn't always have to be so worried about money.
About 4 other women piped up and told me because I was wealthy, I couldn't possibly understand having to worry about money, and about just how unrealistic it was to have a personal savings cushion, when most people were just struggling to keep up with their bills.
I mentioned that savings was just the difference between what you make, and what you spend, and I was told that I was being judgemental.
I want to hit someone in the facewith a chair
i dont know, if shes asking opinions on how much to charge, what does having a personal savings have to do with demanding fair market value?
In response to the OP, I get the same attitude from a friend who's a financial train wreck. Even though her financial problems are frequently the topic of conversation and she's constantly asking for "advice," what she really wants is sympathy and validation of her poor financial choices. Because I've become financially independent with a similar income and life situation, I'm sure she perceives me as criticizing her just by existing!I agree with your assessment but when someone opens the door and asks for "advice" I consider it more compassionate to give a properly humble response than to just give the sympathy and validation! They don't like it but they need it and if it is done well perhaps some off it will stick.
i dont know, if shes asking opinions on how much to charge, what does having a personal savings have to do with demanding fair market value?
It has to do with not being dicked around by a client.
The whole point I was trying to make, is that working for some people is more trouble than it is worth financially, and when you don't need every penny they might pay you, you are free to make business decisions based on the bullshit factor, over just the money.
In response to the OP, I get the same attitude from a friend who's a financial train wreck. Even though her financial problems are frequently the topic of conversation and she's constantly asking for "advice," what she really wants is sympathy and validation of her poor financial choices. Because I've become financially independent with a similar income and life situation, I'm sure she perceives me as criticizing her just by existing!
if she came to ask advice about her business, your advice was off topic.
it is kinda "hahah, her and her pleb money issues" to talk about personal savings and being picky about the work you take when shes talking about getting whats owed to her fairly. how can she even begin to worry about building a savings cushion if her client wont pay up?
sounds like you were humblebragging to me.
if she was asking for financial advice, sure. but this doesn't sound like the woman wanted validation for poor decisions. she wanted to paid fairly for services rendered.
if she came to ask advice about her business, your advice was off topic.
it is kinda "hahah, her and her pleb money issues" to talk about personal savings and being picky about the work you take when shes talking about getting whats owed to her fairly. how can she even begin to worry about building a savings cushion if her client wont pay up?
sounds like you were humblebragging to me.
if she was asking for financial advice, sure. but this doesn't sound like the woman wanted validation for poor decisions. she wanted to paid fairly for services rendered.
Her quagmire was that she raised her rates, and one of her clients pushed back, and she caved. They pay her, but not what she should be charging. Many people also advised her that she needs to not cave to what people want to pay her, but charge what others are charging.
So yes, she was asking, in a round-about way, for financial advice, in addition to a whole lot of hand holding.
In response to the OP, I get the same attitude from a friend who's a financial train wreck. Even though her financial problems are frequently the topic of conversation and she's constantly asking for "advice," what she really wants is sympathy and validation of her poor financial choices. Because I've become financially independent with a similar income and life situation, I'm sure she perceives me as criticizing her just by existing!
if she was asking for financial advice, sure. but this doesn't sound like the woman wanted validation for poor decisions. she wanted to paid fairly for services rendered.
I have met some poor high income people in my day. Its not what you make but how much you keep.
if she came to ask advice about her business, your advice was off topic.
it is kinda "hahah, her and her pleb money issues" to talk about personal savings and being picky about the work you take when shes talking about getting whats owed to her fairly. how can she even begin to worry about building a savings cushion if her client wont pay up?
sounds like you were humblebragging to me.
if she was asking for financial advice, sure. but this doesn't sound like the woman wanted validation for poor decisions. she wanted to paid fairly for services rendered.
Her quagmire was that she raised her rates, and one of her clients pushed back, and she caved. They pay her, but not what she should be charging. Many people also advised her that she needs to not cave to what people want to pay her, but charge what others are charging.
So yes, she was asking, in a round-about way, for financial advice, in addition to a whole lot of hand holding.
and your response was basically:
"gosh, im so glad i have all this money in my bank account, so i dont have to deal with any old type of work, like you do. "
which doesnt help her to get her fair market rate. you didnt offer advice about the problem she had.
again, sounds like a humble brag.
And how do you make the little chair move in your post?
just put move and /move in tags like you would for a quote, or bold, or italics, etc. If you quote someones post you can see the code they usedlike thisWhen I left you, I was but the learner; now *I* am the master (thread derailer).
dude
who called the forum police?
[/move]dude
who called the forum police?
Don't worry, I'm here!(http://38.media.tumblr.com/231ee558490db633e7d5cdaa63207671/tumblr_mknko5Cx3n1s8njeuo1_r2_400.gif)
dude
who called the forum police?
Don't worry, I'm here!(http://38.media.tumblr.com/231ee558490db633e7d5cdaa63207671/tumblr_mknko5Cx3n1s8njeuo1_r2_400.gif)
im sorry i couldnt help myself