Author Topic: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag  (Read 12480 times)

veypor

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I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« on: June 27, 2014, 10:52:55 PM »
So… I head over to the local Post Office to drop some packages for work and what do I see as I pull into my parking space?


Chevy Silverado 3500HD Z71 4x4, 6.6L Turbo Diesel 

This sweet, gas-guzzling machine idling…WITH NO ONE INSIDE!

Not wanting to jump to conclusions and brand someone an inconsiderate d-bag asshole, my first thought it that the poor driver of this machine has been horribly kidnapped! I mean, that’s the only sensible explanation, right?

Well, I headed inside the post office and it turns out, that wasn’t the case. The truck owner was inside handling some correspondence affairs himself. But I noticed he wasn’t shipping a packaged jungle gym or weight set or spare set of duallly tires like the ones on his shiny Silverado. Then what? A septic tank? A horse trailer? A DOUBLE-WIDE WITH ATTACHED GARAGE?!* Nope, just two small letters.

So at this point my brain starts racing. There’s no way this truck is his daily commuter and he doesn’t use it to haul massive stuff and he voluntarily left it on while in the post office (an affair that took almost 20 minutes). Absolutely no way. Then it dawns on me: He did leave the truck on voluntarily. Because beneath the netted fishing cap, and the grease stained t-shirt repping his favorite BBQ joint, and the die-hard conservative, gun-totin’, backwoods redneck exterior lives a tiny, quiet environmentalist crying out for help.

See, what I can only think happened to this poor soul is that he, like so many Americans, got tangled up in the nasty web of ultra-consumerism. No doubt his drankin’ buddies, Eddie, Earl, and Dale** convinced him at some point that the most logical purchase he could make to get Vernadeen’s head to turn while simultaneously diverting the attention away from his laughably small penis was this jaw droppin’, jacked-up monster truck. So, reluctantly he bought it, unable to resist the constant barrage of peer pressure. And now, desperate for a way out, he was hoping that someone would waltz by, recognize the crime of opportunity, steal the truck, and then drive it off the side of a fucking mountain reverting it back into a pile of scrap metal to be put to better use.

So, next time you see someone cruising around town in a 4 mpg dually rig, don’t be so quick to judge. For all you know, he considers himself a hero of moderation and is just trying to spread the message of what not to do.

* Bonus: He was actually “hauling” something in the back. A toolbox smaller than the one that fits beneath the sink of my tiny one-bedroom apartment.
** No offense to people named Eddie, Earl, or Dale. Those are perfectly fine names.

Eggman111

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2014, 11:24:41 PM »
I hope it was also parked across 3 spaces like the one in the picture.

Ayanka

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2014, 01:13:16 AM »
I have a question: who do I have to mail to make sure prices go up to 7-8USD/gallon? It would be a great way to make up the deficit, it all people are idiots like that...

TexasAggie

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2014, 08:00:10 AM »
Did you wait around to see what he looks like or was the description from your imagination?

brewer12345

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2014, 08:37:18 AM »
Did you express your sentiments to the driver of this vehicle?  Did he beat your ass black and blue?

veypor

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #5 on: June 28, 2014, 09:00:25 AM »
Did you wait around to see what he looks like or was the description from your imagination?

Yeah, I saw him when I went inside. Unfortunately, my description is pretty spot on.

SMP

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2014, 01:59:19 PM »
In Germany (where I live) I would be allowed to take the keys, call the police and tell them, that i have found a car. (This would be nothing but the truth.) They would take the car. And I would get a finders reward . This finders reward would have been about 1k$. (Finders reward is regulated in Germany). Would have been a nice day for me....
Furthermore the driver would be charged with some penalty by the police. And they would tell his insurance about this incident.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2014, 02:33:36 PM by SMP »

TexasAggie

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2014, 02:08:38 PM »
Did you express your sentiments to the driver of this vehicle?  Did he beat your ass black and blue?

That would have been funny.  So much for tolerance and not judging others for their lifestyle choices, no matter how much one might disagree with those choices. 

BarkingSquirrel

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2014, 02:10:12 PM »
This isn't very nice of me, and I already know I am a no-good busy-body coward, but I carry a small supply of printed tickets asking people not to idle and explaining that it wastes gas, pollutes, and is technically illegal in our state.  I place them on the windshields of idlers, but never when the idler is there.

warfreak2

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2014, 02:20:12 PM »
So much for tolerance and not judging others for their lifestyle choices, no matter how much one might disagree with those choices.
If you don't like judging other people's stupid decisions, the Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy is probably not the place for you.

I don't see anything particularly different between the OP's attitude and MMM's attitude in Curing your Clown-Like Car Habit. You could even be on completely the wrong site!
Quote
The clowns have to wait in line when the traffic light turns red. They have to bumble though the parking lots and wait for each other to back out of parking spaces, because their machines are so bulky that two cannot pass each other in a space less than 20 feet wide. They line up at special events and fight for places to park on the streets. Then they line up at the gas station and the car wash and the oil change shop. And the machines make them fatter and poorer every time they use them.

And we haven’t even addressed the most clown-like invention of them all: the drive-through (or ‘drive-thru’ as it they spell it here, which is suitable because “thru” is not even a word, just as drive-through services should not exist). The clowns actually sit for several minutes in a self-imposed traffic jam, engines idling, just so somebody can hand them some shit through the window of their car! Mustachians like you and I view an idling engine like a bleeding wound or an overflowing toilet. It’s something to be alarmed at, and to correct immediately. But Car Clowns actually idle deliberately, sometimes to get something as ridiculous as a cup of expensive coffee in a disposable paper cup. When I see these lines of Drive-Thru Clowns, I find the urge to get off my bike and walk down the lineup systematically PUNCHING EACH DRIVER IN THE FACE through their open window to be almost overwhelming.

TexasAggie

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2014, 03:22:51 PM »
So much for tolerance and not judging others for their lifestyle choices, no matter how much one might disagree with those choices.
If you don't like judging other people's stupid decisions, the Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy is probably not the place for you.

I don't see anything particularly different between the OP's attitude and MMM's attitude in Curing your Clown-Like Car Habit. You could even be on completely the wrong site!
Quote
The clowns have to wait in line when the traffic light turns red. They have to bumble though the parking lots and wait for each other to back out of parking spaces, because their machines are so bulky that two cannot pass each other in a space less than 20 feet wide. They line up at special events and fight for places to park on the streets. Then they line up at the gas station and the car wash and the oil change shop. And the machines make them fatter and poorer every time they use them.

And we haven’t even addressed the most clown-like invention of them all: the drive-through (or ‘drive-thru’ as it they spell it here, which is suitable because “thru” is not even a word, just as drive-through services should not exist). The clowns actually sit for several minutes in a self-imposed traffic jam, engines idling, just so somebody can hand them some shit through the window of their car! Mustachians like you and I view an idling engine like a bleeding wound or an overflowing toilet. It’s something to be alarmed at, and to correct immediately. But Car Clowns actually idle deliberately, sometimes to get something as ridiculous as a cup of expensive coffee in a disposable paper cup. When I see these lines of Drive-Thru Clowns, I find the urge to get off my bike and walk down the lineup systematically PUNCHING EACH DRIVER IN THE FACE through their open window to be almost overwhelming.

It was a joke/sarcasm.  All in good fun. . . .

socaso

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2014, 07:45:55 PM »
In Germany (where I live) I would be allowed to take the keys, call the police and tell them, that i have found a car. (This would be nothing but the truth.) They would take the car. And I would get a finders reward . This finders reward would have been about 1k$. (Finders reward is regulated in Germany). Would have been a nice day for me....
Furthermore the driver would be charged with some penalty by the police. And they would tell his insurance about this incident.
Wow, that would really fulfill the heady fantasy I have about jumping in someone's car and driving away when they leave it idling in a parking lot. Plus I'd get money.

johnintaiwan

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2014, 08:26:00 PM »
I agree that it is pretty anti mustachian to leave a truck of that size idling. It definitely belongs in the wall of shame and comedy. But I take offense to the personal attach on the guy. I agree that he is probably a wasteful piece of shit, but much of the attack I find is hateful. You can talk about what you see, such as his hat and t-shirt, but when you start to attack things you dont know and use hurtful phrases such as backwoods and redneck, I think you are out of line.

What would you say if I posted something about a black/latino/asian/gay man who left his car running and went on to stereo type them and use hateful language to describe what I think about him?

brewer12345

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2014, 08:31:17 PM »
I agree that it is pretty anti mustachian to leave a truck of that size idling. It definitely belongs in the wall of shame and comedy. But I take offense to the personal attach on the guy. I agree that he is probably a wasteful piece of shit, but much of the attack I find is hateful. You can talk about what you see, such as his hat and t-shirt, but when you start to attack things you dont know and use hurtful phrases such as backwoods and redneck, I think you are out of line.

What would you say if I posted something about a black/latino/asian/gay man who left his car running and went on to stereo type them and use hateful language to describe what I think about him?

Appalachian-Americans get no respect.

libertarian4321

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #14 on: June 29, 2014, 01:17:06 AM »
In Germany (where I live) I would be allowed to take the keys, call the police and tell them, that i have found a car. (This would be nothing but the truth.) They would take the car. And I would get a finders reward . This finders reward would have been about 1k$. (Finders reward is regulated in Germany). Would have been a nice day for me....
Furthermore the driver would be charged with some penalty by the police. And they would tell his insurance about this incident.

You'd call the police because someone leaves a car running in a parking for a few minutes just to get a reward?  One can only wonder how quickly and gleefully you'd turn in a Jew for a few euros if given the chance.

Seriously, you'd call the police because some jerk left his truck running for a few minutes?  How much of a d!ck are you?

Good God, have some sense of proportion.  The truck owner may be a jackass.  That doesn't mean you need to call in the Gestapo.

I lived in Germany from 4 years.  The Germans I knew, while a bit uptight by American standards, but would NOT have called the police for something so trivial. 

Damn, if you turn in your neighbor to the Gestapo, er, polizei, for something this trivial, it's no surprise that Hitler was able to get away with mass murder.  I thought Germany had evolved from it's authoritarianism since 1945, but perhaps I was wrong.  You get $1k for turning in a guy who leaves his truck running?  You'd probably turn over a Jew for $25 and a ham sandwich.

Rather than turning in the truck owner for your 30 pieces of silver, why not just be a man and politely tell the guy that he should turn his damned engine off?

Words to live by:  Just because you can be a dick doesn't mean you should be a dick...

I'm NOT endorsing the behavior of the guy who left his truck running, but you need to have some sense of rationality.


MOD NOTE: Unnecessarily rude and accusatory.  Read your own words to live by, towards the end of the post, because I have nothing more to add to them.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2014, 10:27:41 AM by arebelspy »

sol

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #15 on: June 29, 2014, 01:25:46 AM »
Unlike some people here, I don't hate the police.  I think we need law enforcement for our laws to carry any weight, and if your local community has voted for a no-idling law then I have no problem with having a police officer issue a ticket to someone who violates that local law.

Do the police have more important things to do?  Probably.  They also have more important things to do than cite people for parking illegally in handicapped parking spaces, or speeding, or driving without a license.  But I support issuing tickets for those things, too.

And I thought the Hitler/Gestapo commentary has a little out of line.  Asking local law enforcement to enforce laws is not the same thing as facilitating genocide.  I know it's hard to tell the difference sometimes, but let's all try a little harder.

libertarian4321

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #16 on: June 29, 2014, 01:59:19 AM »
So… I head over to the local Post Office to drop some packages for work and what do I see as I pull into my parking space?


Chevy Silverado 3500HD Z71 4x4, 6.6L Turbo Diesel 

This sweet, gas-guzzling machine idling…WITH NO ONE INSIDE!

Not wanting to jump to conclusions and brand someone an inconsiderate d-bag asshole, my first thought it that the poor driver of this machine has been horribly kidnapped! I mean, that’s the only sensible explanation, right?

Well, I headed inside the post office and it turns out, that wasn’t the case. The truck owner was inside handling some correspondence affairs himself. But I noticed he wasn’t shipping a packaged jungle gym or weight set or spare set of duallly tires like the ones on his shiny Silverado. Then what? A septic tank? A horse trailer? A DOUBLE-WIDE WITH ATTACHED GARAGE?!* Nope, just two small letters.

So at this point my brain starts racing. There’s no way this truck is his daily commuter and he doesn’t use it to haul massive stuff and he voluntarily left it on while in the post office (an affair that took almost 20 minutes). Absolutely no way. Then it dawns on me: He did leave the truck on voluntarily. Because beneath the netted fishing cap, and the grease stained t-shirt repping his favorite BBQ joint, and the die-hard conservative, gun-totin’, backwoods redneck exterior lives a tiny, quiet environmentalist crying out for help.

See, what I can only think happened to this poor soul is that he, like so many Americans, got tangled up in the nasty web of ultra-consumerism. No doubt his drankin’ buddies, Eddie, Earl, and Dale** convinced him at some point that the most logical purchase he could make to get Vernadeen’s head to turn while simultaneously diverting the attention away from his laughably small penis was this jaw droppin’, jacked-up monster truck. So, reluctantly he bought it, unable to resist the constant barrage of peer pressure. And now, desperate for a way out, he was hoping that someone would waltz by, recognize the crime of opportunity, steal the truck, and then drive it off the side of a fucking mountain reverting it back into a pile of scrap metal to be put to better use.

So, next time you see someone cruising around town in a 4 mpg dually rig, don’t be so quick to judge. For all you know, he considers himself a hero of moderation and is just trying to spread the message of what not to do.


Yeah, the guy should have turned off his truck.  I agree with that. Who knows why he didn't- maybe he was a jerk, or maybe he was just having problems with his starter- I don't know (and neither do you).

But after that, your post is mostly ill informed, judgmental douchebaggery.

First off, that truck doesn't get 4 MPG, it gets a minimum of 14 mpg, with the largest possible engine.

Second, it's just plain ignorant for you to assume that anyone who drives a truck is some ignorant, uneducated, poor rube.

I drive a Silverado, though not quite as new or nice as that one you showed.  I guess that makes me a "gun totin backwoods redneck than this guy?"

Am I a ignorant backwoods rube (despite living in the 6th largest city in the USA)?  I have degrees from RPI (BS Chemical Engineering), MIT (MEng Environmental Engineering), and Boston University (MBA).  You may be more educated than I am (though it's unlikely), but I think I can claim to be pretty well educated.

Since I'm also a multi-millionaire, I don't consider myself poor.

Oh, and I probably have a much smaller carbon footprint than you do, despite the truck.  Because outside of that truck, my wife and I are serious environmentalists (and we are both environmental professionals as well- I'm an environmental engineer, she an environmental chemist).

So don't assume you know everything about a person based on a 5-second observation.  That just makes you an ignorant a-hole.  I'll bet I could find plenty of imperfections in your life.

Oh yeah, and we own guns.  My wife (BS Chemistry, MS Chemistry, MBA, and PhD in Chemistry, with a ridiculous number of patents- she's the smart one in the family) LOVES to go to the range and just plink away, probably because she's a better shot than I am, despite my Army training. 

I'm just curious.  Do we meet your definition of "ignorant gun-totin' red necks?"

Truck.  Check.
Guns.  Check.
Live in Texas.  Quadruple check! (at least according to northeastern liberals who have never been to Texas)

Yee Haw, we poor, ignorant gun totin' red necks!


libertarian4321

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #17 on: June 29, 2014, 02:11:52 AM »
Unlike some people here, I don't hate the police.  I think we need law enforcement for our laws to carry any weight, and if your local community has voted for a no-idling law then I have no problem with having a police officer issue a ticket to someone who violates that local law.

Do the police have more important things to do?  Probably.  They also have more important things to do than cite people for parking illegally in handicapped parking spaces, or speeding, or driving without a license.  But I support issuing tickets for those things, too.

And I thought the Hitler/Gestapo commentary has a little out of line.  Asking local law enforcement to enforce laws is not the same thing as facilitating genocide.  I know it's hard to tell the difference sometimes, but let's all try a little harder.

"Asking local law enforcement to enforce laws is not the same thing as facilitating genocide. "

Once law enforcement and the military start clicking their heels and "just following orders," without thinking, to enforce ridiculous laws, it's not a huge step from issuing simple citations to rounding people up and sending them to camps.

If you don't think it can happen here, you are WRONG.  Germany was a modern, well educated Republic, not all that different from the USA, but in a short time, they went from that modern Republic to a fascist dictatorship.  The same thing occurred in Italy and Spain.  Don't think we are "exceptional" and immune from the same if we are not vigilant. We are NOT "better" than the Germans, Italians, and Spaniards.

As Thomas Jefferson said, "The price of liberty is eternal vigilance."  You start letting the bastards take control, and liberty will soon be gone.


warfreak2

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #18 on: June 29, 2014, 05:29:15 AM »
I don't think you can morally compare reporting somebody who breaks a law you agree with, to reporting somebody who breaks a law you are at best ambivalent about just for a monetary reward. Or are we Nazis either way?

Neustache

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #19 on: June 29, 2014, 07:53:09 AM »
If you are a libertarian (and usually libertarians won't have me, but I'm sympathetic to their views) then laws should be to used to protect an individuals life, limb and property.  So telling on someone because they left their car idling (and being totally fine with using the 'force' of the police to enforce that law) is statist.  Nazi Germany could only happen with the widespread tolerance of statism, and like the above poster says, it has to start somewhere.    Being totally fine with someone getting fined (which collecting a fine is only enforceable if there's a threat of jail, and jail is only enforceable with the threat of violence from police) is kind of lame to me.  You want to change behavior, because you really want to?  Then do what the other poster said and educate others.  But maybe stop trying to use the force of police for every single thing?  Mmmkay? 

Russ

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #20 on: June 29, 2014, 08:03:29 AM »
ITT people with trucks get all offended and stuff. Truckbros it's the antimustachian wall of shame and comedy, are you surprised? Not that I fully agree with it, but the facepunch is a pretty big part of the culture here. Maybe you haven't noticed.

Unlike some people here, I don't hate the police.  I think we need law enforcement for our laws to carry any weight, and if your local community has voted for a no-idling law then I have no problem with having a police officer issue a ticket to someone who violates that local law.

Do the police have more important things to do?  Probably.  They also have more important things to do than cite people for parking illegally in handicapped parking spaces, or speeding, or driving without a license.  But I support issuing tickets for those things, too.

And I thought the Hitler/Gestapo commentary has a little out of line.  Asking local law enforcement to enforce laws is not the same thing as facilitating genocide.  I know it's hard to tell the difference sometimes, but let's all try a little harder.

+1

warfreak2

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #21 on: June 29, 2014, 08:15:14 AM »
If you are a libertarian (and usually libertarians won't have me, but I'm sympathetic to their views) then laws should be to used to protect an individuals life, limb and property. So telling on someone because they left their car idling (and being totally fine with using the 'force' of the police to enforce that law) is statist.  Nazi Germany could only happen with the widespread tolerance of statism, and like the above poster says, it has to start somewhere.
[Summary: otherwise you are, at best, potentially enabling Nazism.]

I'm not, so I think this is nowhere near an exhaustive list of what laws should be used for; as far as I know, neither are the vast majority of people here. Did I miss the part where everyone has to choose between Libertarianism (or, at least, sympathy towards it) and Nazism (or, at best, apathy towards it)? Trust me to be using the bathroom while that happened, important stuff always happens when I'm not around. Oh well, I'd only have spoiled my ballot anyway.

As I said, reporting somebody because they broke a law you agree with, and reporting them for monetary gain, are not morally comparable. Perhaps it's shocking that people might actually agree with laws that Libertarians don't agree with! Perhaps it's also shocking that not every action that you don't personally find acceptable is motivated by apathy or money...
« Last Edit: June 29, 2014, 09:21:01 AM by warfreak2 »

Neustache

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #22 on: June 29, 2014, 09:10:35 AM »
I would appreciate it if when quoting you make it clear where my quote ends.  Please change the above where you added the aside, or else I will have to alert the authorities.  (Kidding on the last, but seriously, not happy about theway you quoted me).

Pegasus

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #23 on: June 29, 2014, 09:15:02 AM »
Often people have a reason for doing things and we just don't know where they're coming from.  Here are some reasons the guy might have left the engine running:
- he was not fully caffeinated and forgot
- he was transporting a new pet hamster in the cab and was carefully controlling the temperature
- his teenager left the headlights on all night and drained the battery, so he had to jump start the truck to get it started earlier, and needed to drive it around and build a charge back up before the battery would have enough juice to start the engine
- he was running a small freezer off the battery and had just stocked up on Ben & Jerry's at the big sale at the Jewel
- he was planning to store the truck for a year while he does volunteer work in Haiti, and wanted to burn off as much gas as possible before siphoning the rest; we all know how ethanol gunks up engines ...

warfreak2

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #24 on: June 29, 2014, 09:18:48 AM »
Square brackets are conventionally used to show editing; it seemed like an accurate summary of the rest of your post to me. You argued that supporting laws beyond what Libertarians support is "statism" and therefore potentially Nazi-enabling. I didn't add the false dichotomy into your text, it was there to begin with; but fine, I will leave it there in your own, far less concise words.

Neustache

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #25 on: June 29, 2014, 09:46:03 AM »
Thank you!  I thought square brackets within a quote would mean that I edited, not the person quoting me, but if this is conventional knowledge and I'm just not aware, well, now I know.

I think the issue I find and I think the libertarian poster found to be disturbing, is that the guy was pretty glib about ruining someone else's day by turning them in and profiting from it.  That's.....kind of lame. 

And the point of my post was merely to point out that every law (i.e., leaving a car running) is only enforceable with the threat of force (i.e. police with guns).  As such, I'm very, very uncomfortable with a great many laws.  You may not be, which I don't find shocking, but in this case, with a car idling, I am very much against it.  But personally, the list of laws for which I'm comfortable with using the threat of violence for, is very, very short.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2014, 09:48:09 AM by Neustache »

Pegasus

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #26 on: June 29, 2014, 10:05:07 AM »
It's a little different than that.  To have a stable society, you need a certain percentage of people to be law abiding.  This means they pretty much operate within the law even if they think they won't get caught.  There's a tipping point percentage a society can hit that will destabilize.  So do you not steal from your neighbors and local businesses because you fear the police, or is it because you have values, recognize the property rights of others, etc?

Rezdent

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #27 on: June 29, 2014, 10:08:07 AM »
Often people have a reason for doing things and we just don't know where they're coming from... ...
+1.  People have both a need to make sense of what they see (why are they doing this?) plus a tendency to a "fundamental attribute error" of assuming the other person is intentionally doing something because they are stupid, mean, insane, inconsiderate, etc...
I catch myself doing this all the time - especially with strangers.  And I find that it makes me less happy.  So when I catch myself doing it I stop and ask why a sane, rational person would do whatever it is I'm seeing.  Because any reason I pick is pure conjecture anyway, I pick the reason that makes me happiest and move on.  I am a whole lot happier these days - and more inclined to offer help when I see someone struggling.

I love reading the wall of shame.  Reading about those who aren't a good example helps me avoid crap.

warfreak2

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #28 on: June 29, 2014, 10:33:58 AM »
And the point of my post was merely to point out that every law (i.e., leaving a car running) is only enforceable with the threat of force (i.e. police with guns).
That is odd, because the police here in the UK don't have guns, and we don't appear to be living in anarchy.

I'd say leaving an unattended motor vehicle unlocked with the key in the ignition, so that some kid might inadvisibly decide to drive it into a shop window, (or alternatively, leaving a poison gas generator running in public for no reason), is the sort of thing that the police should reasonably take an interest in. Not because the state wants the police to take an interest in it and I automatically support anything the state wants because I'm a statist potential-Nazi-enabler, but because I think society is better off if fewer kids crash cars into shop windows.

Still, I doubt the dude would get immediately arrested for it, rather than just told "hey, don't do that again, OK?". Even if there needs to be a punishment, it could very easily be the non-violent revoking of their driving license (or, in extreme circumstances, the non-violent impounding of their car). Sure, there's a law against driving without a license, and that has to be enforced somehow; perhaps with the threat of force. So some, but not all laws, are backed by the threat of violence. This is not one of them.

rocksinmyhead

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #29 on: June 29, 2014, 11:04:21 AM »
I agree that it is pretty anti mustachian to leave a truck of that size idling. It definitely belongs in the wall of shame and comedy. But I take offense to the personal attach on the guy. I agree that he is probably a wasteful piece of shit, but much of the attack I find is hateful. You can talk about what you see, such as his hat and t-shirt, but when you start to attack things you dont know and use hurtful phrases such as backwoods and redneck, I think you are out of line.

What would you say if I posted something about a black/latino/asian/gay man who left his car running and went on to stereo type them and use hateful language to describe what I think about him?

+1

the behavior is fucking stupid but no need for a rude personal attack invoking tired stereotypes... that portion was kinda off topic for the Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy IMO. being named Dale and enjoying fishing and BBQ doesn't automatically make one antimustachian, it just kind of makes it sound like you're being a condescending dick for no reason.

but yes, I too would be troubled by the incident/observation. I love the person who said they leave a little informative ticket/note, I actually don't think that's douchey at all!!

Otsog

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #30 on: June 30, 2014, 02:09:20 AM »
Once law enforcement and the military start clicking their heels and "just following orders," without thinking, to enforce ridiculous laws, it's not a huge step from issuing simple citations to rounding people up and sending them to camps.

Minor traffic citations mere steps from mass genocide.

Oh internet, you so silly.

SMP

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #31 on: June 30, 2014, 02:27:33 AM »
In Germany (where I live) I would be allowed to take the keys, call the police and tell them, that i have found a car. (This would be nothing but the truth.) They would take the car. And I would get a finders reward . This finders reward would have been about 1k$. (Finders reward is regulated in Germany). Would have been a nice day for me....
Furthermore the driver would be charged with some penalty by the police. And they would tell his insurance about this incident.

You'd call the police because someone leaves a car running in a parking for a few minutes just to get a reward?  One can only wonder how quickly and gleefully you'd turn in a Jew for a few euros if given the chance.

Seriously, you'd call the police because some jerk left his truck running for a few minutes?  How much of a d!ck are you?

Good God, have some sense of proportion.  The truck owner may be a jackass.  That doesn't mean you need to call in the Gestapo.

I lived in Germany from 4 years.  The Germans I knew, while a bit uptight by American standards, but would NOT have called the police for something so trivial. 

Damn, if you turn in your neighbor to the Gestapo, er, polizei, for something this trivial, it's no surprise that Hitler was able to get away with mass murder.  I thought Germany had evolved from it's authoritarianism since 1945, but perhaps I was wrong.  You get $1k for turning in a guy who leaves his truck running?  You'd probably turn over a Jew for $25 and a ham sandwich.

Rather than turning in the truck owner for your 30 pieces of silver, why not just be a man and politely tell the guy that he should turn his damned engine off?

Words to live by:  Just because you can be a dick doesn't mean you should be a dick...

I'm NOT endorsing the behavior of the guy who left his truck running, but you need to have some sense of rationality.


MOD NOTE: Unnecessarily rude and accusatory.  Read your own words to live by, towards the end of the post, because I have nothing more to add to them.

There is one important policy in Germany: Ownership has its responsibilities.
That is why I could take the keys: To prevent a kid/teenager taking the keys and doing a accident. In this case the original driver/owner of the car would have to pay for the accident. And you would be charged by an attorney.

So by taking the keys and calling the police I am preventing an bigger damage. Actually I am helping the driver/owner.
Maybee he has an other opinion. But my action would be covered by law.
So you can assume how many cars idle or have the keys inside the car, while standing in the parking lot.

RapmasterD

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #32 on: June 30, 2014, 05:25:47 AM »
So… I head over to the local Post Office to drop some packages for work and what do I see as I pull into my parking space?


Chevy Silverado 3500HD Z71 4x4, 6.6L Turbo Diesel 

This sweet, gas-guzzling machine idling…WITH NO ONE INSIDE!

Not wanting to jump to conclusions and brand someone an inconsiderate d-bag asshole, my first thought it that the poor driver of this machine has been horribly kidnapped! I mean, that’s the only sensible explanation, right?

Well, I headed inside the post office and it turns out, that wasn’t the case. The truck owner was inside handling some correspondence affairs himself. But I noticed he wasn’t shipping a packaged jungle gym or weight set or spare set of duallly tires like the ones on his shiny Silverado. Then what? A septic tank? A horse trailer? A DOUBLE-WIDE WITH ATTACHED GARAGE?!* Nope, just two small letters.

So at this point my brain starts racing. There’s no way this truck is his daily commuter and he doesn’t use it to haul massive stuff and he voluntarily left it on while in the post office (an affair that took almost 20 minutes). Absolutely no way. Then it dawns on me: He did leave the truck on voluntarily. Because beneath the netted fishing cap, and the grease stained t-shirt repping his favorite BBQ joint, and the die-hard conservative, gun-totin’, backwoods redneck exterior lives a tiny, quiet environmentalist crying out for help.

See, what I can only think happened to this poor soul is that he, like so many Americans, got tangled up in the nasty web of ultra-consumerism. No doubt his drankin’ buddies, Eddie, Earl, and Dale** convinced him at some point that the most logical purchase he could make to get Vernadeen’s head to turn while simultaneously diverting the attention away from his laughably small penis was this jaw droppin’, jacked-up monster truck. So, reluctantly he bought it, unable to resist the constant barrage of peer pressure. And now, desperate for a way out, he was hoping that someone would waltz by, recognize the crime of opportunity, steal the truck, and then drive it off the side of a fucking mountain reverting it back into a pile of scrap metal to be put to better use.

So, next time you see someone cruising around town in a 4 mpg dually rig, don’t be so quick to judge. For all you know, he considers himself a hero of moderation and is just trying to spread the message of what not to do.


Yeah, the guy should have turned off his truck.  I agree with that. Who knows why he didn't- maybe he was a jerk, or maybe he was just having problems with his starter- I don't know (and neither do you).

But after that, your post is mostly ill informed, judgmental douchebaggery.

First off, that truck doesn't get 4 MPG, it gets a minimum of 14 mpg, with the largest possible engine.

Second, it's just plain ignorant for you to assume that anyone who drives a truck is some ignorant, uneducated, poor rube.

I drive a Silverado, though not quite as new or nice as that one you showed.  I guess that makes me a "gun totin backwoods redneck than this guy?"

Am I a ignorant backwoods rube (despite living in the 6th largest city in the USA)?  I have degrees from RPI (BS Chemical Engineering), MIT (MEng Environmental Engineering), and Boston University (MBA).  You may be more educated than I am (though it's unlikely), but I think I can claim to be pretty well educated.

Since I'm also a multi-millionaire, I don't consider myself poor.

Oh, and I probably have a much smaller carbon footprint than you do, despite the truck.  Because outside of that truck, my wife and I are serious environmentalists (and we are both environmental professionals as well- I'm an environmental engineer, she an environmental chemist).

So don't assume you know everything about a person based on a 5-second observation.  That just makes you an ignorant a-hole.  I'll bet I could find plenty of imperfections in your life.

Oh yeah, and we own guns.  My wife (BS Chemistry, MS Chemistry, MBA, and PhD in Chemistry, with a ridiculous number of patents- she's the smart one in the family) LOVES to go to the range and just plink away, probably because she's a better shot than I am, despite my Army training. 

I'm just curious.  Do we meet your definition of "ignorant gun-totin' red necks?"

Truck.  Check.
Guns.  Check.
Live in Texas.  Quadruple check! (at least according to northeastern liberals who have never been to Texas)

Yee Haw, we poor, ignorant gun totin' red necks!

+1 on this entire post, particularly the Boston University MBA (part time -- finished mine in 1994).

You need to be cranking up some Red Sovine in that rig of yours. Peace and happy idling.

Le Dérisoire

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #33 on: June 30, 2014, 06:26:30 AM »
Wow, that thread went sour...

The entire MMM website is about mocking ridiculous behaviours. The guy left a massive monster truck idling while he was getting the mail. It is ridiculous and it should be mocked. It is ok to make fun of it so we can avoid this ridiculous behaviour ourselves.

We all do ridiculous things from time to time. Personally, I expect other people to tell me what are MY ridiculous behaviours so I can improve myself.

Jags4186

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #34 on: June 30, 2014, 06:53:20 AM »
May I get mod smacked down for this:

Moderator Edit: Ask and ye shall receive. No personal attacks. Come on now.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2014, 09:23:36 AM by bo_knows »

dude

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #35 on: June 30, 2014, 06:53:36 AM »
goddamn you people are funny

dude

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #36 on: June 30, 2014, 06:53:54 AM »
goddamn you people are funny

shotgunwilly

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #37 on: June 30, 2014, 08:27:14 AM »
I have a "so what?" thought when I read the OP's post, and it comes off as a pointless one to me.  It must be because I'm in Texas, because this situation is about a dime a dozen. (In correlation, maybe that's about what it costs per 12 minutes of idling one of these deisel wagons. Hmmm...)

Brian Fellows

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #38 on: June 30, 2014, 08:43:54 AM »
Man this thread got insane fast... first off, a diesel engine idling is nowhere near as bad as a gas engine idling from an environmental standpoint, and you actually waste more fuel with startup/shutdown than you would just idling for ten minutes.

My first thought was that he had a pet inside and it was hot, so he was keeping it cool.

But the point is look at this huge ridiculous truck.  It's wasteful for how much it costs, it's wasteful becuase he's idling the engine, etc.  That's the only real point you need to take away.  What an interesting social experiment this became.

FrugalToque

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #39 on: June 30, 2014, 09:11:15 AM »
"...and you actually waste more fuel with startup/shutdown than you would just idling for ten minutes."

Seconds.

Ten seconds.  If you're going to be stopped for more than ten seconds, you should shut off your car.

Vanderbilt and everybody else I look up quote the same approximate number (although it varies a tiny bit by car size).  No one ever gives 10 minutes.
http://law.vanderbilt.edu/alumni/lawyer-vol37num1/american_idle.html

Are diesel engines really so bad at starting up that they use 10 minutes worth of idling fuel.  That sounds a bit crazy and it definitely doesn't apply to the rest of us.

alm0stk00l

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #40 on: June 30, 2014, 09:42:42 AM »
Yeah, the guy should have turned off his truck.  I agree with that. Who knows why he didn't- maybe he was a jerk, or maybe he was just having problems with his starter- I don't know (and neither do you).

But after that, your post is mostly ill informed, judgmental douchebaggery.

First off, that truck doesn't get 4 MPG, it gets a minimum of 14 mpg, with the largest possible engine.

Second, it's just plain ignorant for you to assume that anyone who drives a truck is some ignorant, uneducated, poor rube.

I drive a Silverado, though not quite as new or nice as that one you showed.  I guess that makes me a "gun totin backwoods redneck than this guy?"

Am I a ignorant backwoods rube (despite living in the 6th largest city in the USA)?  I have degrees from RPI (BS Chemical Engineering), MIT (MEng Environmental Engineering), and Boston University (MBA).  You may be more educated than I am (though it's unlikely), but I think I can claim to be pretty well educated.

Since I'm also a multi-millionaire, I don't consider myself poor.

Oh, and I probably have a much smaller carbon footprint than you do, despite the truck.  Because outside of that truck, my wife and I are serious environmentalists (and we are both environmental professionals as well- I'm an environmental engineer, she an environmental chemist).

So don't assume you know everything about a person based on a 5-second observation.  That just makes you an ignorant a-hole.  I'll bet I could find plenty of imperfections in your life.

Oh yeah, and we own guns.  My wife (BS Chemistry, MS Chemistry, MBA, and PhD in Chemistry, with a ridiculous number of patents- she's the smart one in the family) LOVES to go to the range and just plink away, probably because she's a better shot than I am, despite my Army training. 

I'm just curious.  Do we meet your definition of "ignorant gun-totin' red necks?"

Truck.  Check.
Guns.  Check.
Live in Texas.  Quadruple check! (at least according to northeastern liberals who have never been to Texas)

Yee Haw, we poor, ignorant gun totin' red necks!

Wow, there is a lot of bad in this post. You do the exact same thing of which you are accusing the OP. Your first few statements are related to what he posted, "But after that, your post is mostly ill informed, judgmental douchebaggery."

At no point did he ever say the guy is a "gun totin backwoods redneck" because of the truck. He said that was the exterior he observed WHEN ACTUALLY SEEING THE GUY inside the post office. Calm down; you can still be proud of your truck. It seems the OPs impressions were based off of more than one observation. You could actually take a lesson from that considering you picked your least favorite line and rambled on for a few paragraphs about how YOU misinterpreted it.

Also, I am not sure that pointing out that a vehicle gets 14 mpg is the defense you think it is.

As to the question in bold, given the information you provided, I would say you do meet my definition of "ignorant gun-totin' red neck." The reading comprehension fail takes care of the first part. By your own admission you have guns, which I assume you tote from time to time. And no one ever said that an education precludes someone from being a red neck. Considering the amazing education you have, and the money you have made, I would say you are a shining example of the virtues of "schoolin'" for your people.

I am glad I read your post though. I really enjoyed the contrast between your admission of using a ridiculous, inefficient vehicle and bragging about how small your carbon footprint is. While I disagree with almost everything you said, that part really made me smile.


shotgunwilly

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #41 on: June 30, 2014, 09:58:32 AM »
At no point did he ever say the guy is a "gun totin backwoods redneck" because of the truck. He said that was the exterior he observed WHEN ACTUALLY SEEING THE GUY inside the post office. Calm down; you can still be proud of your truck. It seems the OPs impressions were based off of more than one observation. You could actually take a lesson from that considering you picked your least favorite line and rambled on for a few paragraphs about how YOU misinterpreted it.


How the hell is that any better?

alm0stk00l

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #42 on: June 30, 2014, 10:10:04 AM »
At no point did he ever say the guy is a "gun totin backwoods redneck" because of the truck. He said that was the exterior he observed WHEN ACTUALLY SEEING THE GUY inside the post office. Calm down; you can still be proud of your truck. It seems the OPs impressions were based off of more than one observation. You could actually take a lesson from that considering you picked your least favorite line and rambled on for a few paragraphs about how YOU misinterpreted it.


How the hell is that any better?

It is an observation and not a generalization.

MgoSam

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #43 on: June 30, 2014, 11:35:01 AM »
Well this has escalated quickly.

No Name Guy

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #44 on: June 30, 2014, 11:53:57 AM »
MOD NOTE: Unnecessarily rude and accusatory.....

Hmmmm....where's the mod edit of the original post?  Lots in there that's "unnecessarily rude and accusatory."

Mod in an even handed manner. 

joleran

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #45 on: June 30, 2014, 12:10:43 PM »
Well this has escalated quickly.

It's great, I never thought I'd see Godwin's Law in the wild on the MMM forums.

Russ

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Re: I Spy an Ultra-consumeristic Douchebag
« Reply #46 on: June 30, 2014, 12:14:21 PM »
MOD NOTE: Unnecessarily rude and accusatory.....

Hmmmm....where's the mod edit of the original post?  Lots in there that's "unnecessarily rude and accusatory."

Mod in an even handed manner. 

OP didn't compare leaving the truck on to enabling genocide, but more importantly that post wasn't reported for anything. If you care that much, take action and submit a report instead of sitting here complaining.

Either way I'm locking this, what a bunch of immature bullshit.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2014, 01:50:20 PM by Russ »