Author Topic: I nominate myself  (Read 3579 times)

cyclevillian

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I nominate myself
« on: October 23, 2012, 02:24:33 PM »
Thought I'd share a short story that I found both Anti-Mustachian and funny that happened to me.

Place: Work
Time: 3pm
Me: Hungry

I failed to bring any snacks today and after biking 7.3 miles to work (as I almost always do (95% for the year!)) I found myself craving food. But not real food, junk food. I walked past the vending machine and my eyes caught some strawberry pop-tarts. At this point I think my stomach took over my hand and moved it to my wallet. "I'm Hungry!" it roared. I tried to reason with it "But that $1 bill is my employee.. look at him, he can earn me money just for being money, don't make him turn into a pop tart!" (i really did think this, MMM clearly is in my head)

I fought it for about 30 seconds, staring at the pop tart, then at my employee, then I gave in and shamefully put the dollar in the vending machine. I think I ducked my head expecting MMM to jump out and punch me in the face.

I then slowly punched the code, hoping I would stop but knowing I wouldn't. Then at the moment I pressed the last number I glanced down and realized the front spot of the pop tart row was empty... NOOOOO!!! (I may have shouted this)

The machine spun the coils and moved the pop tarts closer, but still out of reach (yes, i stuck hand in there, it was a pretty low moment). It then downsized my employee from a buck to a quarter and sent me on my way. All I could think was "yep, I deserved that".

Has anyone else had moments where they knew they were being anti-mustachian and it backfired?
« Last Edit: October 23, 2012, 03:46:25 PM by cyclevillian »

ivyhedge

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Re: I nominate myself
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2012, 03:40:23 PM »
That's frakking hilarious. While I haven't experienced such a moment, I enjoyed sharing it vicariously with you.

Perhaps it's time to reopen the book on vending/atm ownership. ;)

ErinG

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Re: I nominate myself
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2012, 04:12:33 PM »
LOL!! "Don't make him turn into a poptart".
Now I have sympathy for your poor personified dollar! Oh God, don't turn me into a poptart! What, then you're gonna eat me? NOOOOO. POOF: Dollar vanishes instead. Magic trick gone tragically wrong or narrow escape by doomed dollar?


fidgiegirl

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Re: I nominate myself
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2012, 05:39:07 PM »
Teee heeeeee heeeeee . . .

and yeah . . . who DOES own all those vending machines in the world, and why couldn't it be me?!  :D

arebelspy

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Re: I nominate myself
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2012, 06:24:11 PM »
That is a GREAT story.  Made me laugh.  Thanks for sharing.
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okits

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Re: I nominate myself
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2012, 06:27:40 PM »
.
I tried to reason with it "But that $1 bill is my employee.. look at him, he can earn me money just for being money, don't make him turn into a pop tart!" (i really did think this, MMM clearly is in my head)

I fought it for about 30 seconds, staring at the pop tart, then at my employee, then I gave in and shamefully put the dollar in the vending machine. I think I ducked my head expecting MMM to jump out and punch me in the face.

OMG, hilarious. Don't be so hard on yourself, you had the right thinking going on in your head. Even MMM isn't perfect (he said it in a blog post somewhere, I don't actually have proof.)

I would have done you one better and fished out another dollar bill (would rather pay $1.50 for the pop tart than $0.75 for a still-empty stomach.)  At least you were going for something that could masquerade as pseudo-food (people eat pop tarts for breakfast) versus chips or chocolate.

PJ

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Re: I nominate myself
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2012, 09:41:44 PM »
I would have done you one better and fished out another dollar bill (would rather pay $1.50 for the pop tart than $0.75 for a still-empty stomach.) 
 
 
Me too!