Author Topic: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)  (Read 4346 times)

marty998

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I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« on: February 21, 2013, 04:05:17 AM »
This story is about a year old but the TV episode of "my crazy obsession" is on the box in Oz today. I didn't want to embarrass myself admitting that I watch this crap (Pawn Stars, Hardcore Pawn, American Restoration, Canadian Pickers etc etc) but there's a little Nelson Muntz of Simpsons fame inside of me who loves saying "Har Har" to these types of things

I am mortified. Absolutely gobsmacked. It's like something out of a horror movie. One very screwed up couple in the US have five thousand cabbage patch kids.

Each one has a name and personality. And there is a "favourite" called Kevin who goes everywhere with them and apparently makes all the decisions in life for them. They've spent $250k on a house for them all, planning a $150k extension and have all up spent close to $1m on their "family".

I give up, this floored me when I saw it. It is the most outrageously antimustachian story I have ever heard. Sure you get billionaires blowing up cash on a yacht or jet or whatever, but they have the means to do it. These guys? Relative to their incomes this is totally, incredibly outrageously fucked up. Even their daughter thinks so, the poor soul has to put up with being treated equally with Kevin and the other "brothers and sisters".

Since you can't see what I'm seeing on TV now, I've provided a link to the story below.
 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2107915/Theyre-kids-babies-dolls-Meet-couple-host-play-dates-5-000-Cabbage-Patch-Kids.html

Enjoy.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2013, 04:10:10 AM by marty998 »

KulshanGirl

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Re: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2013, 09:20:15 AM »
My first reaction to this is to be totally horrified.  Then again, there is something kind of cool about saying "eff the rat race, we're going to play with our five thousand goddamn cabbage patch kids from now on." 

5th grade KulshanGirl is mad jealous.  :)  Seriously though, this is totally messed up.  I find it fascinating that this is a shared obsession, that BOTH of them are so into it.  Wacky.

c

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Re: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2013, 08:11:20 PM »
Articles and shows like that make me feel sad. For the most part the people seem like they're really nice, good people who are just missing something or slightly off somehow.

Reading the Daily Mail is one of my greatest shames, but I cannot help myself.

nolajo

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Re: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2013, 08:37:52 PM »
Oh man, I just went down the rabbit hole watching those snippets.

And that, kids, is why I don't have a TV. It's perversely entertaining, but 15 minutes of a variety is all my sanity can take.

KulshanGirl

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Re: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2013, 05:14:16 PM »
Speaking of dolls, I had the misfortune of entering an AMERICAN GIRLS store with my 3 year old this weekend.  Holy hell.  The doll in it's undies is $110!  And then there are endless outfits and pets and accessories and matching clothes for the kid to wear.  AND a freakin' Bistro where you can go and eat with your dolls in little high chairs.  The whole place is pepto pink.  My child was thrilled.  Me, horrified.  Granpda, also horrified.  I have heard of this, but never actually had seen it.  =o 

meadow lark

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Re: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2013, 11:39:47 PM »
Dolls in large numbers weird me out.  Saw a TV show where a psychic said dolls were originally made to represent the dead or contain their souls or something like that, and that ghosts were attracted to them and would come live in them.  Probably ridiculous, but then my wife, who comes from an area  with a history of Voodoo, reminded me of their role in Voodoo.  I'm in the "I don't believe in that stuff, but not interested in playing with it either" camp.

anastrophe

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Re: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« Reply #6 on: February 27, 2013, 01:31:19 PM »
Speaking of dolls, I had the misfortune of entering an AMERICAN GIRLS store with my 3 year old this weekend.  Holy hell.  The doll in it's undies is $110!  And then there are endless outfits and pets and accessories and matching clothes for the kid to wear.  AND a freakin' Bistro where you can go and eat with your dolls in little high chairs.  The whole place is pepto pink.  My child was thrilled.  Me, horrified.  Granpda, also horrified.  I have heard of this, but never actually had seen it.  =o

If you are so unfortunate as to acquire a used American Girl doll for your 3 year old, be aware that sewing patterns for 18" dolls are not expensive and there are a million outfits to be had on Etsy for relatively inexpensive.

But yeah. Blegh to the pink and creepy stares and all of it.

melissak

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Re: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« Reply #7 on: February 27, 2013, 07:33:05 PM »
Thank you for posting this! That was the best comic relief I've had all day.

Hey, in their own weird way, they do seem kinda happy!

Having said that, was I the only one waiting for Kevin to fall out of the balloon?
Would they take him to the hospital?

marty998

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Re: I have 5000 cabbage patch kids (holy shit LMFAO)
« Reply #8 on: February 27, 2013, 11:46:01 PM »
Yeah that's the bizzaro thing about it. In every other respect they seem like a perfectly happy normal couple.

I dunno about hospital, but I'm thinking Kevin would definitely get a funeral and obituary in the local rag.