Author Topic: I guess this is why he's the ex...  (Read 3944 times)

O_betty_o

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I guess this is why he's the ex...
« on: November 24, 2013, 12:58:47 PM »

UK user but converted everything to USD!

My ex earns $2100 a month. He has been sofa surfing at friends since I kicked him out in May. He "can't afford" to rent somewhere (you can get a really nice 2 bed flat for about $700/month in this area.. So not expensive really). I doubt he pays anything towards bills where he is.

Anyway, he inherited $3200 recently and used it as a deposit on a $34,000 (brand new) car even though he already had an old runabout.

The worst bit is he says he will only have contact with his daughter for a few hours every other weekend because he has no home to take her to. We both agreed if he had somewhere to live she could stay the night and they would get a lot more time together... But it seems he prefers to have a shiny new car :-(



gooki

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Re: I guess this is why he's the ex...
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2013, 01:57:25 PM »
That's really sad.

SwordGuy

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Re: I guess this is why he's the ex...
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2013, 05:03:29 PM »
Kudos to you for not putting up with an overaged child for a husband!

MsSindy

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Re: I guess this is why he's the ex...
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2013, 11:41:31 AM »
And now the tricky part.....how to talk to your daughter in such a way that she understands good financial choices, and not totally call her father an a$$hole.... I mean, it's still her father after all.   It will certainly require some restraint on your part.

rockstache

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Re: I guess this is why he's the ex...
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2013, 12:42:00 PM »
I had a similar childhood actually. My mom resolved (on the advice of a wise friend) to try to not say anything bad about my father in my hearing. She wasn't always successful, but she tried. Now that I am an adult, I see clearly who I would rather be like.

Good luck OP. It will be hard sometimes, but your daughter will grow up to appreciate you (although she may hate you for a while during the teen years), don't be discouraged!

sunshine

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Re: I guess this is why he's the ex...
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2013, 01:10:13 PM »
What a jackwagon. If this is how he chooses to live his life karma will catch up to him when he is old and gray and wishes he had child that would come around to visit him.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2013, 05:11:45 PM by sunshine »

O_betty_o

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Re: I guess this is why he's the ex...
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2013, 01:43:26 PM »
Thanks for mentioning that MsSindy, I hadn't really thought about how to protect her from following her dads example with money. She is only 4 at the moment, so luckily she can't see that daddy's traded off time with her for a status symbol.

In the future, I don't know what I can do except be very matter of fact about financial matters and hope that she sees my example as being better than her dads. He has never had to deal with money, he lived at home before moving in with me & I dealt with all the finances. I think he's probably heading for a financial meltdown.. There can't be much left of his paycheck after paying maintenance & the car (probably about $1200 or so left). With any luck he'll have a meltdown and then pull a mustachian 180 and be the perfect financial example by the time our daughter becomes aware of these things.... We can only hope!


.22guy

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Re: I guess this is why he's the ex...
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2013, 03:11:06 PM »
He sounds like a douche nozzle. 

Sorry to hear that he can't put a priority on spending time with his own child.  I have two, and couldn't imagine not being a part of their lives as much as humanly possible (being divorced cuts into it, but I take every second I can get.)