Author Topic: Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance  (Read 3203 times)

No Name Guy

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Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance
« on: October 21, 2016, 10:48:15 AM »
Ah millennial's, you're boned (where's Bender when you need him?). 

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/millennials-told-jpmorgan-want-retire-133327510.html

According to JPM, you're smoking a bunch of dope since you want to retire at 60.

Some laugh worthy quotes:

Quote
Sure, you can set early retirement as a goal, but a combination of the current state of financial markets and plain old life is most likely going to make retirement by age 60 impossible.

Of course, it is possible to retire by 60. To do so, however, you have to have phenomenal pay, no expenses, or very modest expectations for your standard of living both before and after retirement.

Quote
Assuming an average salary of around $75,000 between ages 24 and 35, our hypothetical millennial would have to save a whopping 35% of their salary on average each year to be set up for retirement at 60.

35%...whopping...yeah, what a whopper.  Well hello genius, if ya read Jacob and consulted his plot, reality is that if you save 35% and make a paltry 4%, time to FI is only about 25 years or so.  So our hypothetical millennial starting at 24 would actually be able to punch out at about 50.

And oh my goodness, something I didn't realize until reading this article....did you know oh wee little ones of the Millennial generation that if you retire at 60 you won't be eligible to steal from the post-millennial generations (aka socialist security) for two more whole years?  (Facepalms)  Why, you'll actually have to finance your own retirement entirely during that time - the horror....the horror.

So, get back in mom-n-dad's basement, retreat to your safe space, since there is no hope for you.

This comedy brought to you by the crony bastards at JPM who have been donating to major party candidates for years, to enable their thievery from the public purse.

Ayanka

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Re: Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2016, 11:06:53 AM »
Frankly, I don't think the article is that bad. If millennials are only saving 7% and they need to save 35% to be able to retire at 60 they do have some catching up to do. Saving 35% being a young person buying a house/having young kids can be a challenge and there are other financial challenges ahead. They do state in the article that having very modest expectations is an option and even though it is not encouraged, they at least mention it. I am not saying it is a great article, but they are at least honest. They refer to the JPM table as that is what they are using for calculations and that part I am not going to judge, not enough math skills for that.

SweetTPi

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Re: Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2016, 11:51:19 AM »
And oh my goodness, something I didn't realize until reading this article....did you know oh wee little ones of the Millennial generation that if you retire at 60 you won't be eligible to steal from the post-millennial generations (aka socialist security) for two more whole years?  (Facepalms)  Why, you'll actually have to finance your own retirement entirely during that time - the horror....the horror.

Bolding added, because it didn't even say that.  My brain stuttered to a complete stop as I read this:

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Factor in that if you retire at age 60, you would not receive any social security benefits to help boost your income. Workers receive benefits only if they retire at age 62 or later, according to the Social Security Administration.

To me, it sounds like the author thinks that you don't get anything at all.  Like, you have to be in a job until you hit 62, or else nada.  Apparently the author doesn't grasp that 'retirement' for social security does not equal retirement from working.

Metric Mouse

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Re: Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2016, 11:33:17 PM »
And oh my goodness, something I didn't realize until reading this article....did you know oh wee little ones of the Millennial generation that if you retire at 60 you won't be eligible to steal from the post-millennial generations (aka socialist security) for two more whole years?  (Facepalms)  Why, you'll actually have to finance your own retirement entirely during that time - the horror....the horror.

Bolding added, because it didn't even say that.  My brain stuttered to a complete stop as I read this:

Quote
Factor in that if you retire at age 60, you would not receive any social security benefits to help boost your income. Workers receive benefits only if they retire at age 62 or later, according to the Social Security Administration.

To me, it sounds like the author thinks that you don't get anything at all.  Like, you have to be in a job until you hit 62, or else nada.  Apparently the author doesn't grasp that 'retirement' for social security does not equal retirement from working.

There's a whole list of stuff the author didn't grasp...

MrMoogle

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Re: Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2016, 02:58:55 PM »
Frankly, I don't think the article is that bad. If millennials are only saving 7% and they need to save 35% to be able to retire at 60 they do have some catching up to do. Saving 35% being a young person buying a house/having young kids can be a challenge and there are other financial challenges ahead. They do state in the article that having very modest expectations is an option and even though it is not encouraged, they at least mention it. I am not saying it is a great article, but they are at least honest. They refer to the JPM table as that is what they are using for calculations and that part I am not going to judge, not enough math skills for that.
That's the thing, they don't need to save 35% to retire at 60.  The info JPM gave them had them retiring at 65, instead of 60, since they can't math, they just subtracted 5 years and assumed everything would then work out.  Then on top of this, they had no investment income.  So at 35 (the chart's 40) you need 2.6x your current income. 

Let's forget about what you need is based off expenses and not income.

Then they incorrectly used the 100k at retirement to calculate that you'd need $260k.  Then said you average $75k for those 10 years.  $260k/750k = ~35%.  So if you ignore investment income, use the calculations incorrectly (current income vs retired income), do incorrect math (-5 years doesn't move every bracket by 5 years in the table), and do it based on income not expenses, then yes, you need to save 35% the first 10 years of working. 

If you do real math:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-behind-early-retirement/
Then you need to save somewhere between 20 and 25%.

chesebert

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Re: Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2016, 12:18:06 AM »
Title is misleading. I get JPM investment outlook reports on a monthly basis and I find them to be generally thoughtful, conservative and more likely than not correct on a macro level (based on my experience). The linked article is not a JPM report. JPM has got some very smart people working for the firm, the only problem is that they work for JPM and not you (or your average investor).

Making Cookies

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Re: Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2016, 07:20:26 AM »
There's a whole list of stuff the author didn't grasp...

Maybe the author should have written the article as a question rather than a statement...

Metric Mouse

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Re: Humor from the theives at JPM & idiots at Yahoo Finance
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2016, 09:18:00 AM »
There's a whole list of stuff the author didn't grasp...

Maybe the author should have written the article as a question rather than a statement...

Then we could have linked them the Shockingly Simple Math, and saved a lot of headshaking.