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Around the Internet => Antimustachian Wall of Shame and Comedy => Topic started by: Trudie on October 07, 2015, 03:44:26 PM

Title: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Trudie on October 07, 2015, 03:44:26 PM
Not all of these are anti-mustachian, and in fact some of them are sweet.  But #8 threw me -- the person more worried about how the size of her engagement ring would affect her career.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/daniel-hayes/2015/10/13-women-reveal-how-much-their-engagement-ring-cost-and-what-it-means-to-them/
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: FatCat on October 07, 2015, 03:56:47 PM
When I see lots of diamonds on a ring I think it's fake. A $30k ring wouldn't impress me much because I would very likely think it's fake. If I found out it's real and how much it costs I'd think the buyer was foolish to give so much for a ring. The after market value of diamond rings is so low.

It's funny she got such an expensive ring because she didn't want people judging her for getting something cheap. Did it not occur to her that people might judge her for getting something too expensive?
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: gimp on October 07, 2015, 04:12:42 PM
Inb4 engagement ring politics
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: AllieVaulter on October 07, 2015, 04:26:09 PM
Whoa!  Number 8 bothered me for more than just the price of the ring!  Some women really want expensive rings.  I don't agree, but it's important to them for some reason or another. 

This statement though...
Quote
if we were going to marry then he needed to understand that my career was around before he was.
Holy moly!  Honestly, I just don't know how to read that sentence without interpreting it as "my husband is not as important to me as my job".  Some people love their jobs, but I cannot imagine getting married to someone if I didn't love them more than my job! 
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Trudie on October 07, 2015, 06:09:09 PM
Whoa!  Number 8 bothered me for more than just the price of the ring!  Some women really want expensive rings.  I don't agree, but it's important to them for some reason or another. 

This statement though...
Quote
if we were going to marry then he needed to understand that my career was around before he was.
Holy moly!  Honestly, I just don't know how to read that sentence without interpreting it as "my husband is not as important to me as my job".  Some people love their jobs, but I cannot imagine getting married to someone if I didn't love them more than my job!

That hit me as pretty flippant too.  It establishes a certain pecking order or value that I don't agree with.  (And before people pile on -- I am a career-oriented female who started her career before she met her spouse.  It's not about a woman's "role."  In this case I think she's deliberately making a statement about status and priorities that's really obnoxious.)
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Proud Foot on October 08, 2015, 01:42:53 PM
number 5. Really?
Quote
I told my fiancee that I wanted a three karat ring to signify the three years we’d been together.... Honestly, if he hadn’t gotten it for me I don’t know if I would have felt right saying yes, it meant that much to me.

She might not have said yes? I'm sorry but if your answer depends on the ring then I thing there may be problems with your marriage at some point.  When I proposed I did get the ring that my wife showed me and told me she wanted, but I know she would have said yes if I didn't get the ring she showed me.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: domo on October 08, 2015, 01:55:28 PM
Huh. Mine has no stones, it's a simple gold claddagh knotwork design. It's perfect. I have no idea how much he spent, but I can tell you it wasn't outrageous. 
If someone cares about the size of your ring rather than the happiness in your marriage, they aren't worth your time.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: nanu on October 08, 2015, 02:02:47 PM
Studies in the past have shown that expensive weddings are correlated with higher divorce rates. I wouldn't be surprised at all if expensive wedding rings are also correlated with divorce...
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: MgoSam on October 08, 2015, 02:24:38 PM
Studies in the past have shown that expensive weddings are correlated with higher divorce rates. I wouldn't be surprised at all if expensive wedding rings are also correlated with divorce...

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/spending-less-wedding-save-marriage/
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: AZDude on October 08, 2015, 03:37:30 PM
Whoa!  Number 8 bothered me for more than just the price of the ring!  Some women really want expensive rings.  I don't agree, but it's important to them for some reason or another. 

This statement though...
Quote
if we were going to marry then he needed to understand that my career was around before he was.
Holy moly!  Honestly, I just don't know how to read that sentence without interpreting it as "my husband is not as important to me as my job".  Some people love their jobs, but I cannot imagine getting married to someone if I didn't love them more than my job!

Totally agree. If I told you I loved you as much as I love my job, you should probably duck to avoid the literal facepunch.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: MgoSam on October 08, 2015, 03:46:39 PM
Whoa!  Number 8 bothered me for more than just the price of the ring!  Some women really want expensive rings.  I don't agree, but it's important to them for some reason or another. 

This statement though...
Quote
if we were going to marry then he needed to understand that my career was around before he was.
Holy moly!  Honestly, I just don't know how to read that sentence without interpreting it as "my husband is not as important to me as my job".  Some people love their jobs, but I cannot imagine getting married to someone if I didn't love them more than my job!

Totally agree. If I told you I loved you as much as I love my job, you should probably duck to avoid the literal facepunch.

As a guy I don't understand the importance in the size of a wedding ring, but I will say that I prefer a women that cares about her career and isn't looking to get married and stay-at-home, so I don't have as much of a problem if a women does value her ring for her career. Unfortunately there are many jobs out there that essentially require the person to care about their appearance, looks, style, and status, in order to get a job. I know a closet Mustachian lawyer that drives a Benz only because he found that he got more clients than when he was driving around in his Camry.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: AllieVaulter on October 08, 2015, 11:47:39 PM
number 5. Really?
Quote
I told my fiancee that I wanted a three karat ring to signify the three years we’d been together.... Honestly, if he hadn’t gotten it for me I don’t know if I would have felt right saying yes, it meant that much to me.

She might not have said yes? I'm sorry but if your answer depends on the ring then I thing there may be problems with your marriage at some point.  When I proposed I did get the ring that my wife showed me and told me she wanted, but I know she would have said yes if I didn't get the ring she showed me.

Yeah.  When I read that one to my husband he said "sounds like she's celebrating the three years their marriage is going to last."  Engagement rings are supposed to be about the future, not the past.  IMO.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: jinga nation on October 09, 2015, 10:09:12 AM
My cousin made her fiance spend a month's gross salary equivalent on her engagement ring, back in 2001. I asked her, "You mean both your rings, and his?". No, I'm an idiot, it was for the ONE ring. She said she let him off easy, convention 'dictates' it should be 3-months worth. I told her it's a damn stone that's found after moving tons of earth, destroying nature, and possible displacing people. It could also be a blood diamond. She laughed and scoffed at my cynicism.
One of my best friends deals in gemstones, raw and cut. He tells me diamonds are worthless trinkets. The masses buy it because it is controlled by a monopoly from mining to sales, Russia could anytime flood the market with their undetectable synthetics, and those certificates aren't worth the expensive stock paper they are printed on. Marketing sucks the oxygen so you can't think of a wedding without diamond rings.
I made my wife watch Blood Diamond http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3998716416/tt0450259 (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3998716416/tt0450259) before we bought our rings. Then I realized she has a bigger mustache than me. I hope that sub-$1000 that I spent on all three rings means I'm guaranteed a long marriage, based on recent studies.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: MgoSam on October 09, 2015, 10:29:43 AM
My cousin made her fiance spend a month's gross salary equivalent on her engagement ring, back in 2001. I asked her, "You mean both your rings, and his?". No, I'm an idiot, it was for the ONE ring. She said she let him off easy, convention 'dictates' it should be 3-months worth. I told her it's a damn stone that's found after moving tons of earth, destroying nature, and possible displacing people. It could also be a blood diamond. She laughed and scoffed at my cynicism.
One of my best friends deals in gemstones, raw and cut. He tells me diamonds are worthless trinkets. The masses buy it because it is controlled by a monopoly from mining to sales, Russia could anytime flood the market with their undetectable synthetics, and those certificates aren't worth the expensive stock paper they are printed on. Marketing sucks the oxygen so you can't think of a wedding without diamond rings.
I made my wife watch Blood Diamond http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3998716416/tt0450259 (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3998716416/tt0450259) before we bought our rings. Then I realized she has a bigger mustache than me. I hope that sub-$1000 that I spent on all three rings means I'm guaranteed a long marriage, based on recent studies.

I've seen way too many extremely rational women completely lose it when it comes down to getting a wedding ring. I have a friend that's very close to her bf, have talked about marriage, and I know that she's already started looking at rings.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: mtn on October 09, 2015, 10:55:28 AM
I probably spent too much--I got probably the best deal I could get on it, but it was still probably too much. I had an idea of what I wanted to give her, and went in and got a great education on diamonds (which are basically a scam) and bought it. I'm very happy with it, she's ecstatic with it--and the price, when I finally told her, fell just underneath her dollar amount of "If you spend more than this, you're an idiot", so that was good. It was about 1.5 months of my gross, but I had made up my budget by saving from my side job for 2 months, and combining that with whatever my tax return happened to be.

My problem was that once I learned about the diamonds, I became really good at spotting flaws. Now most diamonds that I see, I can spot a flaw. I knew that if my wife's had a flaw, I would always hone in on it. It doesn't make our marriage any less, it would just constantly annoy me. So I paid more to have one that didn't annoy me for the rest of my life. I didn't care as much about color, so hers is the "worst" of the near colorless--I really can't tell much difference unless it is in bright light. I wish I cared about comparing it to others, because hers really is noticeably more brilliant (is that the right word) than most others when the girls do that comparing thing-but that to me is just an interesting part of it, I don't get enjoyment out of the fact that hers is better. At least it doesn't bother me either.

Then we went to look for her wedding ring at jewelers, Macy's, etc. We found what she really liked, looked at the price, and said "nope". Then we went back to the guy I bought her ring from (a truly wonderful shopping experience, btw--I wish everything was like that) and he showed us some cheap stuff, some expensive stuff, and then remembered about one he had custom made for someone that backed out of it. It was almost exactly like the one that she really wanted, but better diamonds. It was also 1/3 the cost of the others. Win.

My ring was whatever the price of gold was at the time, I can't remember. I looked at a lot and a lot of different materials before I settled on this one. It is the only piece of jewelry (other than a watch) that I'll ever wear, so I wasn't going to get one I wasn't happy with.

We are going to get a cheap steel band for both of us for our honeymoon though.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: mtn on October 09, 2015, 10:59:12 AM
Oh, and my personal opinion for anyone thinking about what to get--styles go in and out. A single round solitaire never will, whether it is a nice one, not nice, cubic zirconia, or granite. Aside from that, the "big rock" of multiple on a ring is the one people hone in on. Don't waste money on the secondary rocks, spend it on the one that "matters".

This advice was unmustachian and consumerist driven. But there it is.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Ceridwen on October 09, 2015, 11:09:09 AM
DH and I were 25 when we got married, and it was easy for him/us because I wanted a sapphire instead of a diamond.  He spent 1.2K on it (which still to this day feels like a lot for a piece of jewelry) and I love it, going on 10 years now.  My best friend has a 10K diamond ring and it's gorgeous, but I would never feel comfortable wearing it.  It's too flashy for my taste, and I'd be so afraid to lose or damage it.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Avidconsumer on October 09, 2015, 11:24:25 AM
280$ on two white gold wedding bands. Mine was more expensive as well.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Metta on October 09, 2015, 11:34:06 AM
No engagement ring for me. We spent $35 on a very tiny gold wedding band for me and no wedding band for him. It seems to have done the trick. We've been married for more than 35 years  and are happy not to have the burden of keeping track of an expensive piece of jewelry. Happily none of my jobs have required that I have an expensive ring.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on October 09, 2015, 11:57:16 AM
Like $110 or something. She picked it out on Amazon. When she was pregnant and had food poisoning and swollen fingers she threw it across the room and lost it. Don't care. We're going strong.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: rencelas on October 13, 2015, 04:21:14 PM
$2k on an heirloom ring from an estate in town. Worth every penny. She loves it, it is beautiful, and I could afford it.

My wedding ring was $10 from an art fair. Hers was maybe $250? for another heirloom rose gold ring.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: maco on October 13, 2015, 04:54:24 PM
Huh. Mine has no stones, it's a simple gold claddagh knotwork design. It's perfect. I have no idea how much he spent, but I can tell you it wasn't outrageous. 
If someone cares about the size of your ring rather than the happiness in your marriage, they aren't worth your time.
Mine's a white gold claddagh that my dad bought me when I was 18 or so. It moved to the left hand when I got engaged.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Pooperman on October 13, 2015, 07:14:29 PM
About $800... for all three rings. She picked out her set (blue and white synthetic diamonds in white gold). Mines plain white gold. A rings a ring.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: PFHC on October 14, 2015, 01:36:21 AM
$600 for my wife's engagement ring. Boast a massive .3 carat diamond.
$17 for her wedding band. Machined it and inset a rivet of 18k gold.
$0 for my band. Machined it out of a busted head bolt from a ship I was working on.

My wife wouldn't trade her rings for all the diamonds in the world. Mine has traveled from Europe to the US on its own and miraculously made it back to me. I would have been heart broken if it hadn't made it.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: AllieVaulter on October 14, 2015, 09:50:47 AM
My wife wouldn't trade her rings for all the diamonds in the world. Mine has traveled from Europe to the US on its own and miraculously made it back to me. I would have been heart broken if it hadn't made it.

This sounds like a cool story.  How did that happen?
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: PFHC on October 14, 2015, 08:36:06 PM
My wife wouldn't trade her rings for all the diamonds in the world. Mine has traveled from Europe to the US on its own and miraculously made it back to me. I would have been heart broken if it hadn't made it.

This sounds like a cool story.  How did that happen?
I was coming home from a job off the coast of Terrance Bay, Namibia. Look it up. It is on the edge of the Namib Desert infinity miles from everything. You fly out in a 10 seat plane and land on the freaking beach. From there a chopper takes you out to the ship. This is because the coast is so rough and weather so shit that boats don't run there (that area is called the Skeleton coast because, if you shipwreck there, you are dead as all get out). The only inhabitants are lions that fish and hyenas that apparently eat rocks and sand. Pretty wild. To get home, you do that it reverse, then fly from Walvisbaai to Windhoek, Windhoek to Amsterdam, then Amsterdam to a few connections and home. Just takes around 64 hours. NBD.

So, during my layover in Amsterdam, I took a shower because the airport in Walvisbaai and Windhoek were pretty hot. During my shower, like I always do, I removed my ring. By this time I was 30 hours into my trip, so brain function was in survival mode. I dressed, finished my trip home, passed out and woke up the next morning with a start. I had left my wedding ring on the sink in the shower.

I called the airport and was passed from person to person, all very helpful, but their hands were tied as it was worse than trying to find a needle in a haystack. I finally ended up at the lost and found desk. I spoke with a woman there and she had me file a report. She said they received approximately 1000 lost items per day (!), so it would take roughly 7 days to process my request. I was forlorn. No way in hell anyone was going to find my ring in all that mess.

Later that night, I logged into KLM's Facebook page. This is where it gets awesome. On a whim, I commented that I had lost my wedding ring in the shower on a random photo. I thought that no one monitors that crap and I was pissing into the ocean. When I woke up the next morning, I had a message! Someone from KLM had sent me the direct phone number to the lounge where I had showered.

I called and reached a wonderful lady named Laura Verhoeven. She had my ring behind the desk! Long story short, I had a friend from the ship who was flying home two days later through Schiphol. I asked if he could pick it up, bring it home and mail it to me. Like a true friend, he did and it arrived in the mail two weeks later.

I was stoked.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: AllieVaulter on October 14, 2015, 08:57:31 PM
^^^Holy Cow!  That's an awesome story.  I'm also super glad I read your thread about the Merchant Marines - it complemented this story nicely. 

Thanks for sharing!
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: elaine amj on October 14, 2015, 10:21:38 PM
Back then I really didn't understand a whole lot about the value of a dollar but even then, I had little interest in keeping up with the Joneses.

We went together and I picked out a cheaper, pretty style that was subdued. Thankfully, DH thought of my family (and his family) and insisted on a flashier ring. It was about 1 month's net income. It was a good choice - especially since my family was suspicious about his ability to support me. It did help.

I still think it's a little silly. My mom is super frugal...but cares about appearances. So there you have it.

I developed a rash to my rings after some years and eventually after about 10 years or so, I packed my rings away. Not worth the itch. I do still like my rings although I still prefer the one I originally chose :)
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Squirrel away on October 15, 2015, 02:43:15 AM
My engagement ring was about £1.5k but I was more frugal when we actually got married so the ring was a gold vintage one that cost around £40. :P
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: rockm87 on October 15, 2015, 04:11:17 AM
Mine was £200 (cheekily got cashback too), and our wedding rings were £500 together, which were paid for by grandparents inheritance money. (otherwise we may not have spent as much!).

you really dont need to pay more! just look after what you have,
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: frooglepoodle on October 15, 2015, 06:42:38 AM
My DH spent about a month's gross on my ring, which was under what he budgeted but substantially more than what I felt was necessary. My parents offered him a family ring, but he'd already picked out one that turned out to be remarkably similar. It's beautiful and a classic style but 95% of the time I only wear my wedding band.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: LiveLean on October 15, 2015, 09:02:49 AM
I always love when people say, "Oh, she's such a simple, non-materialist woman. She just wears a plain, simple band."

When you know it's because she doesn't want to wear her 2-3-carat knucklebuster around on a daily basis.

I splurged for the 1.25 carat 18 years ago. My only regret is that I didn't shop at Costco. I see comparable rings there today for similar prices -- not adjusting for inflation, so really cheaper prices.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Helvegen on October 15, 2015, 09:26:11 AM
We didn't spend anything on an engagement ring and our bands were 250 euro. My husband lost his almost immediately after the wedding and mine was lost two summers ago after I lost too much weight to keep it reliably on. We have no plans to replace them.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Jakejake on October 15, 2015, 09:44:48 AM
When it comes to engagement rings - I'm sorry, but SIZE MATTERS.

If it's too big, it doesn't fit right under the bicycle gloves.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Wilson Hall on October 15, 2015, 01:52:27 PM
Before we got engaged, my better half said that he had an heirloom ring that had belonged to his great-grandmother. He gave me the option of us going shopping for an expensive, show-it-off ring for which he would shell out two months' salary. The other option was for me to accept the heirloom ring (sight unseen), and he would take the money he would have spent on a big rock to buy us a set of bedroom furniture for our new life together.  Easy decision for me. Over a decade into our marriage, the furniture is still beautiful, functional, and, most importantly, it's something we share and enjoy.

The ring is lovely too, but it's not what's most important to me, not by a long shot.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: I'm a red panda on October 15, 2015, 02:29:46 PM
This is me:

Quote
7. “How do women know what their engagement rings cost? If they didn’t pick it out then do they just ask their husbands like ‘did you spend a ton on this or not?’ I have no idea what he spent on it. It’s beautiful and he’s beautiful and we’re going to be together forever so why would I go digging in asking for deets and receipts?”

I didn't buy it. I have no idea how much it cost.  How much did I spend? Nothing, it was a gift. We didn't combine finances until we were married.

I suspect in the grand scheme of rings, it wasn't that expensive; it's a .7 carat solitaire. He was a college student working just to pay tuition. However, I am sure at the time it was an incredible expense for him. I know he spent more than he had to, because the stone he wanted was in one ring, but he wanted a different setting (so I have an empty ring too from the original purchase).  The new setting is SO much better, thinner, sits closer to my hand; he knew me well.

If I had to do it over, I wouldn't get a diamond.  But I love the ring he picked for me.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Ducky on October 15, 2015, 02:53:02 PM
Back a bazillion years ago it was over a months pay for my  guy. It was a very simple but  quality 1/4 carat diamond. For our 20th he surprised me with a new ring with 1.75 carats and a surprise vow renewal. I love it and I'm not ashamed to admit I like it more than the original. However its not the shiny sparkly it is the metal. The first one was gold. I have always hated gold!!! I never ever told him this because it is the thought that counts. He however over many years noticed that I  never word gold unless he bought it.  What he paid I dont want to know . He said he always wished he could have afforded something like that when he got the first one way back when. I personally thought it was very sweet of him to do the ring and a surprise vow renewal on the ship. Hes not a big romantic but when he does it he really does it. 
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: hernandz on October 15, 2015, 04:28:20 PM
The spouse is a jewel without price, though certainly a few costs. 

I think our wedding bands cost $150, but you have to add in about another $100 maintenance cost -- his broke and mine was resized.  That comes to a mustachian $0.024 cents a day assuming we make it another two weeks before the official anniversary ;)  No engagement ring, but then again, the engagement was 48 hours.   
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Pooperman on October 15, 2015, 07:51:33 PM
No engagement ring, but then again, the engagement was 48 hours.

Thursday afternoon:
 'hey, want to get married this weekend?'
'Sure, I guess we should get rings or something.'
'Saturday or Sunday?'
'I'm thinking Saturday since we have to make food for the week on Sunday.'
'K'
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Money Mouse on October 16, 2015, 09:21:51 AM
I only know the cost of mine because I got it about 8 years into our marriage and I had to pay the bill when it came :).  $2300, less than one month net of DH's income. It's only about .7 carat round solitaire but really high quality/color. I'd rather have a smaller but super nice ring than a huge ass rock that you can see flaws on from across the room. And I don't like huge rings anyway. To me, 3/4 carat is Goldilocks...not too big, not too small, it's just right!

DH gave it to me at our favorite restaurant one night, with our 1.5 year old (at the time) daughter in attendance. DH is the least romantic person on the planet, so I didn't see it coming when the waitress popped the ring box onto the table right in front of me while waiting for our deserts to come.  When I saw it, I thought the waitress had made a terrible mistake and some poor guy was sweating it out at another table waiting to pop the question to his girlfriend. I was just about to tell the waitress "no this isn't ours!" when DH said "no, it's for you, open it".

The wedding rings were $300 at the time, $200 for mine because it had some small diamonds on it, $100 for DH's.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: partgypsy on October 16, 2015, 10:01:44 AM
The first ring he got me was really sweet, $350 handmade ring that he bought when he sold one of his paintings. I still have it. We eloped so we really didn't need an engagement ring, but I wanted one. My original engagement ring was $640 which was a lot of money to us at the time, probably equal to 1 month of his salary. Nine years later got an anniversary ring which was 2300? It was paid for over 2 years (main stone 1 year, setting the following year). No longer have anniversary ring (long story; it was lost, insurance claimed, spend insurance money (on part on another ring) original ring found, difficult time selling replacement ring plus had extra kids expenses, returned original ring to insurer).
Husband, though never into jewelry, wants to replace my anniversary ring because he knows it meant a lot of me. If everything works out, it will be a .74 diamond in a semi bezel setting, and hopefully will have it for a long long time! We will be married 20 years this coming spring.
My and his wedding bands were $50 and $100 (14K yellow gold).
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: pancakes on October 17, 2015, 03:20:36 AM
I knew how much my ring cost as it was something we picked out together. He bought the diamond and I paid to have it set into a ring - though by that stage in our relationship who paid for what was neither here nor there.

I remember the jeweller being really miffed by us because we were 23 year old unemployed students who didn't need to set up a payment plan. Apparently it wasn't uncommon for him to see clients in their 30's buying similar rings (mine is 3/4 ct so nothing over the top by regular standards) and paying them off with interest. I suppose I can brag because my husband spent infinitely times his monthly salary on it?
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Ferrisbueller on October 17, 2015, 08:56:28 AM
Months salary in 2001 - bout $2.5k
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: MgoSam on October 17, 2015, 09:03:10 AM
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Mesmoiselle on October 17, 2015, 09:06:24 AM
I'm shocked. I didn't think I'd be the only one.

We didn't bother with rings at all and exchanged "boops". Best money I never spent, I hate rings anyway.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: pbkmaine on October 17, 2015, 09:13:53 AM
It always makes sense to try and determine her views. A college friend of mine did something clever with his girlfriend. On the pretext of getting a new battery for his watch, he took her into a jeweler. The jeweler had been previously alerted to the visit, and had a salesperson steer the girlfriend over to rings. She happily tried on rings while they waited, and my friend was able to determine that she liked vintage rings with modest stones. He put that information out to his family, and was able to obtain from his grandmother, at zero cost, a lovely art nouveau diamond ring. The jeweler sized it for him, and she still wears it 35 years later.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: tallen on October 17, 2015, 09:38:21 AM
I'm shocked. I didn't think I'd be the only one.

We didn't bother with rings at all and exchanged "boops". Best money I never spent, I hate rings anyway.

Wondered what "boops" where so I googled it:
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Boops (/ˈboʊ.ɒps/; from Greek βόωψ boōps "cow-eye") is a genus of ray-finned saltwater fish. The genus contains two species. Sarpa salpa was once assigned to Boops

So you exchanged fish?!?
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: etotheix on October 17, 2015, 10:49:14 AM
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?

I ended up spending about 1 months salary -- but that wasn't how we determined what we were going to spend.  My now wife knew that she wanted a 3 stone ring, and I knew I was willing to spend in the vicinity of $5k.  So we went to our local jewelry store and talked to the sale rep for a while to actually see how they looked on her hand and to learn about the quality.  This was well worth our time.  In our case, we ended up learning what kind of clarity is worth paying for and that a 3/4 carat center stone looked about right, but was near the higher end of our price range.

Then, we walked out of the store and bought a ring meeting those specifications on blue nile (ended up being about $6k).  I have no financial interest in Blue Nile, but you get a significant discount (30%+ in our case) vs your local jeweler.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: grantmeaname on October 17, 2015, 10:54:34 AM
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?
I wouldn't feel ready to marry someone if I didn't understand their relationship with money first. Especially as my life plan revolves around getting together seven figures of cash that I intend to not spend.

Or in other words: hopefully you'll know what to do when the time comes.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Mesmoiselle on October 17, 2015, 05:33:02 PM
I'm shocked. I didn't think I'd be the only one.

We didn't bother with rings at all and exchanged "boops". Best money I never spent, I hate rings anyway.

Wondered what "boops" where so I googled it:
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Boops (/ˈboʊ.ɒps/; from Greek βόωψ boōps "cow-eye") is a genus of ray-finned saltwater fish. The genus contains two species. Sarpa salpa was once assigned to Boops

So you exchanged fish?!?
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/boops-that-shook-the-world#.sa9JvmLXM

Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: MgoSam on October 17, 2015, 06:23:42 PM
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?
I wouldn't feel ready to marry someone if I didn't understand their relationship with money first. Especially as my life plan revolves around getting together seven figures of cash that I intend to not spend.

Or in other words: hopefully you'll know what to do when the time comes.

Fair point. If I find someone and am close enough to be planning to propose, I would hope to know her views on money, and the spending (or lack of) of it.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: midweststache on October 17, 2015, 07:08:55 PM
#8 - Jesus...

We spent a total of $310 on our wedding bands.

$300 on having my great-grandmother's ring (a band with inlaid diamonds) sized and cleaned. We also thickened up the gold band, which was thinning from decades of wear. It's beautiful, practical, and meaningful. He knew I had it waiting for me when we got married, and that I didn't expect any other jewelry. (To be fair, he didn't really propose; we had a conversation one night where the 'eventual' turned to the 'next year,' and that was that.)

$10 on his titanium band off Amazon, which is exactly what he wanted. (We're going on six months and his finger isn't green yet!)
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Sailor Sam on October 18, 2015, 12:30:08 AM
My wife's engagement ring cost around 3k. A super pretty sapphire in a palladium band. She doesn't wear a wedding band so that bit was free. She doesn't wear her ring often, so it makes me feel like mighty mouse when she puts it on.

I burned through 3 rings before settling on something I liked wearing. A $50 wal-mart ring that was cool but really uncomfortable. Second was a ~$120-ish silver band that made my finger break out in a weird rash. And the winner, a titanium band with ilodite chips. I have no idea how much it cost. When I require love, I put my ring on my wife's finger, and she re-proposes to me. She is amazing, and that is why she is my primary wife.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Taran Wanderer on October 18, 2015, 02:47:28 AM
Primary wife?
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: clarkfan1979 on October 18, 2015, 10:40:23 AM
650 for wife and 100 for me
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: meg_shannon on October 18, 2015, 11:15:16 AM
I think engagement rings can be beautiful, but I don't like them - for me. I ordered my husband and I titanium rings from TitanumKnights on Etsy. I had seen his rings in jewelry stores and was very pleased to have basically bought them wholesale. We paid 65$ for two rings with engraving.

My husband wanted to upgrade our rings when we had more money. Now we have the funds, but like our original rings. In fact, he was given a diamond, but I know I won't wear it.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Sailor Sam on October 18, 2015, 11:26:12 AM
Primary wife?

Without hierarchy, chaos. 
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Shinplaster on October 19, 2015, 03:46:53 PM
I didn't want an engagement ring, but Mr. SP wanted me to have one.  I do not wear flashy jewellery at any time, so he bought a diamond separately while in Amsterdam, and had it set in a very simple setting.  Cost altogether was $1000, which was about 2 weeks pay back in 1979.  Our wedding bands were $100 each.  His fingers have swelled (according to him, it has nothing to do with the 40 pounds he's put on since the wedding), so he's now just wearing a $10 stainless steel one.  When they get banged up, or he forgets them while travelling, no big deal.  We just choose another one.   We've been married for 36 years, and neither one of us really cares about these things anymore.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: SwordGuy on October 19, 2015, 04:38:14 PM
$0 on engagement rings.

$0 on wedding rings.  We were so poor our friends gave us rings to give to one another.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: dividend on October 20, 2015, 01:01:42 AM
My wife's engagement ring cost around 3k. A super pretty sapphire in a palladium band. She doesn't wear a wedding band so that bit was free. She doesn't wear her ring often, so it makes me feel like mighty mouse when she puts it on.

I burned through 3 rings before settling on something I liked wearing. A $50 wal-mart ring that was cool but really uncomfortable. Second was a ~$120-ish silver band that made my finger break out in a weird rash. And the winner, a titanium band with ilodite chips. I have no idea how much it cost. When I require love, I put my ring on my wife's finger, and she re-proposes to me. She is amazing, and that is why she is my primary wife.

That is adorable and I can picture my husband saying these exact things.  I hope your wife feels warm and fuzzy about you.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: LifeAtTheLodgeHouse on October 20, 2015, 02:46:52 AM
I fricken love Melody No.10

I don't know how much my ring cost. 1.25 diamond. Simple, classic and timeless, I love it.

I especially love it as I change my mind All. The. Time. So much that I get whiplash :) so a classic timeless ring NOT picked by me works for my crazy little head :)

It's like he knew me...

Now I'm a mustachian (I wasn't always) and I have realised that I have so much awesome vintage jewellery from my mum and grandma I will never buy jewellery again.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Hunny156 on October 23, 2015, 02:43:04 PM
We were fresh out of college and he had a ton of student loans.  I wanted a 1 carat round with baguettes, but shopping around we quickly realized in would cost $6K plus.  He considered a loan.  No way was I going to do that to him, and I didn't like the idea of wearing that much money around my finger!

I researched simulants, and purchased a 1 ct round Van Graff for $133.  He picked out the perfect setting for $350 from an outlet store.  He brought both pieces to his local jeweler to put it together.  The jeweler begrudgingly did it, after making some comment about how the girl would know its a fake.  No one knows it's a fake, and I am proud to wear it, roughly 18 years later.

My friends at the time made the mistake of trying to compare rings.  Yes, theirs were bigger, but next to mine, theirs look brown.  They quickly learned not to compare again, and I enjoyed watching that momentary look of horror on their faces when the comparison didn't work in their favor.

Edited the price of the stone - I thought I spent $200, but looking at the receipt, it was $133.  :)
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Skalm on November 12, 2015, 04:40:37 AM
We got ours from Amazon. Mine was $16 for a titanium, hers is synthetic sapphire and I think silver band or something for $36. Her gem is starting to wiggle out and I think it'll cost more to fix than to replace so I might spend a few hundred on a nicer ring for her.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Eric222 on November 12, 2015, 05:47:35 AM
I spend 5k on my exes engagement ring while I was in graduate school.   She loved it, which was good I suppose.  But what a waste of money.  I was stupid when I was younger.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Travis on November 12, 2015, 07:12:11 AM
I think her engagement ring and both of our wedding rings came out around $600. Maybe a touch more.  My wife has often been lacking in popular culture references (somewhat sheltered upbringing) and never heard of the two-month salary guideline until I told her.  Being the awesome and frugal woman she is she told me she'd turn me down on principle if I spent that much on a ring.  Nearly all of her jewelry is fake except for her rings and a pearl necklace.  Since she tends to think practically about most matters she strongly hinted that a giant sharp stone protruding from her finger might actually be dangerous, so I found her one with several tiny stones that were embedded in the ring itself.  On a shopping trip shortly after our wedding we walked by a jewelry store at the mall and I showed her examples of the giant rings that are for sale.  After seeing the price tag on them she offered that at that price I might as well just buy her a car instead.  It would have a hell of a lot more utility.


http://www.cracked.com/video_19282_if-jewelry-stores-were-honest.html (http://www.cracked.com/video_19282_if-jewelry-stores-were-honest.html)
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: DCKatie09 on November 12, 2015, 08:13:48 AM
My engagement ring, which we designed using stones from two rings I inherited from my grandmothers, was about $800, and our wedding bands were around a grand for both together. Probably a little steep, but my rings are gorgeous, unique, and I love them. Also, we were 29 and could really easily afford it.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: dude on November 12, 2015, 08:28:06 AM
Ah, this topic hurts me.  After a 16-year courtship, when I could no longer string it out any further, I had to succumb to marriage (or risk losing the woman I loved).  She tolerated the excuses for years from me about not having any money/paying student loans/establishing my career, etc., and so when it came time to buying that ring, she insisted I go big.  And go big I did -- 2c, high-quality cut - for  . . . oh, it pains me to divulge this . . . $15,000.  Yep.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  But she kinda lost her mind when the whole ring thing came around -- and in the wedding planning phase, but that's another story.  Fortunately for me, things have turned out fine, she's come around in a lot of ways  (not totally, but hey, nobody's perfect), and my FIRE plans remain just as they always have.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: GFPchicken on November 12, 2015, 09:08:34 AM
I didn't get an engagement ring -- DH knew I couldn't care less. Our wedding rings cost about $200 for the set, including rush order fees (we planned on not having wedding rings either, but less than two weeks before the wedding we realized our priest thought they were required) They are titanium rings with a a decorative rose gold rivet. I'm glad we ended up getting the rings after all, I like looking "married" in public and I like looking at it and thinking about my awesome DH when he's at work. His didn't end up fitting (too big) and titanium is not resizable, which is just as well since he really doesn't wear rings.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: pompera_firpa on November 12, 2015, 09:27:27 AM
My wife's engagement ring cost around 3k. A super pretty sapphire in a palladium band. She doesn't wear a wedding band so that bit was free. She doesn't wear her ring often, so it makes me feel like mighty mouse when she puts it on.

I burned through 3 rings before settling on something I liked wearing. A $50 wal-mart ring that was cool but really uncomfortable. Second was a ~$120-ish silver band that made my finger break out in a weird rash. And the winner, a titanium band with ilodite chips. I have no idea how much it cost. When I require love, I put my ring on my wife's finger, and she re-proposes to me. She is amazing, and that is why she is my primary wife.

This sounded so much like something my husband would say. A++++
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: runningthroughFIRE on November 12, 2015, 10:35:38 AM
Everyone here's ridiculous.  This is clearly the mustachian option, followed by a bike ride to rid yourselves of the excessive calories! Only $1.58 for 24 of these babies, so it rounds out to less than $0.07 a pop!
(http://www.bachelorettepartyfun.com/images/products/ringpop.jpg)
The standard set by my parents was sitting on a couch and going "I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you" *Dad looks over* "Awesome, me too!"  Then after finding rings they like onlinein a catalogue(no idea of costs, but nothing fancy): "Hey, your ring came in the mail today.  Will you marry me?"  Those gooey saps have been married about 30 years.

Someday if I get married, I'd like to think I would go for something simple.  I'm a fan of saphires over diamonds if an engagement ring is done at all, and either plain gold or something unique like damascus steel for the wedding rings.  I'm not looking to get married anytime soon, so most things will be up in the air if/when I get to that point in my life.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: gReed Smith on November 12, 2015, 11:24:57 AM
I'm confused by your story, runningthroughFIRE.  I think you said your parents ordered rings online 30 years ago...

I paid $635 for my wife's ring while I was in law school.  That was the most I could responsibly spend.  I don't feel like making an irresponsible spending decision or going into debt is a good way to tell a woman that you love her.  Instead I tried to make a reasonable choice so that she had something nice and we could afford to buy a house and have a family at some point.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Ashyukun on November 12, 2015, 11:48:59 AM
SWMBO's ring was on the pricey side (especially for here). The original plan had been to spend a good bit less, but it didn't quite work out that way...

The summer before we got engaged (after she and I had been living together for about half a year) my Mom came to visit and when just my Mom and I were out to lunch the conversation turned to my relationship and specifically where I thought it was going. I answered honestly and said that I would likely already have proposed if not for the fact that finances were tight with my house having not sold yet but that we would get there eventually.

The following weekend my Mom was out near where my Grandmother (her Mom) lived before she moved closer to my parents, and of course they were talking about the grandkids and my Mom told my Grandmother what I'd said about the ring. As my Mom tells it, without saying a word, my Grandmother stood up and shuffled back into her bedroom and then back out a few minutes later and handed my Mom a box. In it was my Grandmother's engagement ring- my Grandfather had passed on after a long decline earlier in the year and she had not worn the ring for some time. She told my Mom that she wanted her to send the ring to me, either to use as it was for an engagement ring or more likely to have the stones re-set for a new ring for my then-soon-to-be-fiancée-now-wife. My Mom was floored, as was I when I got the very unexpected call about it. Before shipping it to me my Mom had it appraised to know how much to insure the shipment for and was shocked at what it appraised for- it had one rather large center stone, to side settings about 2/3 the size of the main one, and quite a number of very small settings along the band.

Then-girlfriend and I had gone out and looked at rings a few times so I could get an idea of what she liked style-wise and figure out what size the ring needed to be, but it had been left to me to make the final choice so it would be a surprise. So when I got the ring, I went in with it to the store that I'd liked the best and sat down with one of their designers to work out a design in the style that SWMBO liked that used the stones from my Grandmother's ring. Ultimately both the engagement and wedding band used stones from my Grandmother's ring (since there were so many really small ones), and both were custom-designed to nest together. Ironically in the end the rings probably cost more than I'd have spent had I just picked an existing one out, but the look of disbelief on her face when I gave her the ring was fantastic as was how blown away she was when I explained the history of it.

The amusing thing to me relative to this particular article- she to this day doesn't know what I spent on the rings in the end, but she does know what they're technically worth since they engagement ring is worth enough for it to be on the wise side to have additional insurance on it and to do that she had to take it in to be appraised (it appraised for over 3x what I paid for having it made).

Probably one of the most anti-mustachian things I've ever done- but I've never really regretted it either since she absolutely loves it and its story, and I hope someday her ring will get given to one of our (eventual) grandchildren in a similar manner.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: runningthroughFIRE on November 12, 2015, 12:01:47 PM
I'm confused by your story, runningthroughFIRE.  I think you said your parents ordered rings online 30 years ago...

I paid $635 for my wife's ring while I was in law school.  That was the most I could responsibly spend.  I don't feel like making an irresponsible spending decision or going into debt is a good way to tell a woman that you love her.  Instead I tried to make a reasonable choice so that she had something nice and we could afford to buy a house and have a family at some point.
They came in the mail via catalogue.  Everything I ever order is from online, so I had a mental slip. I'll edit the statement lol
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: JordanOfGilead on November 13, 2015, 08:09:29 AM
I proposed to my wife with the ring from a grenade pin (it's a long story). Afterwards, I let her pick out the ring she wanted, which ended up being about $800. Our wedding bands are both tungsten carbide and totaled about $350.
Our wedding cost less than her engagement ring.

I understand that jewelry is insanely expensive and it's nice to have nice things, but I will never get spending more than $1000 on an engagement ring and expensive weddings just blow my mind.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: gardeningandgreen on November 16, 2015, 01:41:52 PM
I know that my ring was around $600. Its this amazing cool ring that he got of etsy and was made just for me. It has cool leaves holding a light blue stone. No idea what the stone is(I could look it up but I don't really care) but diamonds aren't needed. I have had more compliments on it than anything else! So many people have told me that it is perfect for me and it really is. The FH and I picked it out together so he knew I would love it. I would have loved anything he got me though!
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: StockBeard on November 16, 2015, 05:02:52 PM
  If someone cares about the size of your ring rather than
Insert penis joke about size here
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: onehair on November 17, 2015, 10:07:47 AM
I confess I never got an engagement ring with either of my two marriages.  I got a wedding band only.  I am not sure if I missed out on anything or not. 
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Britan on November 20, 2015, 07:14:49 AM
I'm always baffled by how much weddin rings can cost.

Mine was custom made by a local jeweler. Really awesome guy, family-run business since forever ago. He laid out the itemized cost of everything and showed us every stone option. It came out to $580 if I remember. $100 for the custom design, plus the cost of a small sapphire and 2 little diamonds in white gold. At the end of the day he even gave me a little silver necklace to keep it on while I work out for FREE!

If I had to do it again, I'd take my moms offer of her ring but see if the jeweler could alter it. Gold is really where we were hit on price.

My ring is fairly simple so I don't think I'm going to have a separate wedding band.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Making Cookies on November 24, 2015, 10:05:39 AM
We were really poor when my wife and I married. I can't remember what I spent on her ring but the stone I had put into it was a stone that had been in my great-grandfather's Mason or Elks' ring (can't remember which organization). It looked nice and she was thrilled. For myself we bought a simple gold(ish) band.

Neither of us wear any rings today.

Neither of us were (are) very well versed in what you are supposed to do aka wedding traditions and etiquette. ;)

We just celebrated our 18th anniversary over the weekend. We took our kids to the mtns for our anniversary. We're such romantics - aren't we?

Am very lucky to have found a girl (woman) with similar ideas about all the important things in life - family, finances, education, hard work, etc.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: flan on November 24, 2015, 10:30:40 AM
Studies in the past have shown that expensive weddings are correlated with higher divorce rates. I wouldn't be surprised at all if expensive wedding rings are also correlated with divorce...

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/spending-less-wedding-save-marriage/

Ruh roh. We definitely spent too much on our engagement ring (about a month's gross salary) as well as our wedding (let's not go there)... this was before we read MMM. We tried making up for it by getting wedding bands that were only a few hundred dollars, combined (I know, that's still not cheap, but it is multitudes cheaper than what we spent on engagement ring + wedding).

Now I joke with hubs that, if I ever lose the engagement ring, I'd be happy to take the insurance payout and not even replace it (we paid the whole year's premium before we were MMM as well - if I lose it next year we're SOL b/c we're not renewing that unnecessary insurance!)
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Valetta on November 24, 2015, 04:25:27 PM
I'm embarrassed because my jewelry in general is really far from mustachian but I do love my rings so I'll post.

My wedding/engagement ring (it's just one ring) was custom made for me. Center stone is a round deep blue aquamarine (rare color). The band is platinum with 132 small diamonds in it. It cost $6,000. I know this because it's insured so we had it appraised.

Husband's ring is a custom platinum band - I think it was around $1,500.

About a year after getting married, his mother gave me a bunch of stones for a right hand ring - 20 different diamonds from various family rings (my MIL was the sole survivor in a large family, it's a long story but it meant that all family jewelry passed to her). In addition to the diamonds, she gave me a large marquis cut aquamarine purchased by my husband's great, great grandfather in Germany. The same designer set them into a complimentary setting for me for about $2,000 (platinum and some additional diamonds). The finished ring appraises at $6,000.

I wear both rings every day.

I know this is a lot of money but I do love my jewelry, people comment on the uniqueness of it all the time and no debt was incurred for it. I picked aquamarine because we both have March birthdays and we met in the month of March.

Oddly enough I had a super cheap wedding, I just really like jewelry.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Making Cookies on November 24, 2015, 04:59:25 PM
Do you ever worry about losing a stone b/c of a loose setting?
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: pbkmaine on November 24, 2015, 05:24:08 PM
I did worry about losing stones until I got them bezel set.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Valetta on November 24, 2015, 08:42:01 PM
Do you ever worry about losing a stone b/c of a loose setting?

I don't. I clean my jewelry pretty well once a month and check for loose stones when I do that. The jeweler that did my stuff is really convenient for me so it would be really easy for me to pop in there and have an issue fixed if I needed it. I'm also careful to take my rings off for any kind of manual labor, swimming, sometimes cooking, etc. I just don't lose things so I don't really worry about losing them either.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: bostonjim on November 25, 2015, 08:35:35 AM
Gave my wife an old family ring that came from my Aunt.  Something like 2c with an old-fashioned (20s vintage) platinum setting. I offered to have it reset, but she wouldn't hear of it.  I had it appraised for insurance purposes and it came back as $20,000.  Best $20,000 I never spent...
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: monstermonster on November 25, 2015, 02:25:54 PM
I had a 6th grade math teacher who thought I was a hilarious odd duck (it's a different story, but let's just say I stuck out like a sore thumb) and he would go on rants about diamonds just being rocks, but you'll never find a woman who would rather had a shiny rock.

At the time I was really into geods, and I boldly proclaimed that I would only marry someone who was willing to get me a nice rock instead of a ring. To this day, I'm sure he's long forgotten that, but any suitors in my future are expected fully to get me a nice geod instead of a ring. (I can't wear rings anyway because of my arthritic fingers.)
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Bearsdidit on November 25, 2015, 04:13:03 PM
I spent a little over a month's salary.  She loves it and I got a lot of credit card points for it. Win/win??
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: partgypsy on November 26, 2015, 07:30:52 AM
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?

I can't remember if anyone answered your post, but I will venture a try. Women are really variable as far as being into jewelry and also expectations of what they want for an engagement ring (or even if they want one), as you can see on this thread, some women don't even have engagement rings and some have rings but don't know what stone is in the ring. I personally like sentimental connections, and so if she doesn't have any strong preference it is nice to repurpose a stone that is already in the family, and put it in a setting in a style the women likes.

If the woman does have strong preference, please involve her in the ring buying process (she will be the one wearing it). You can always let her know what your budget is. Could be half a month, a month, 3 months, it really depends financially where you are, savings and your priorities, not so much a percentage of salary. I do frequent a jewelry forum, and the main time a woman is upset at how much the man is spending or willing to spend, is when it sends the message the relationship is not high priority to him. That's when the man has a good or even high income, drops 700 on a new tv, 3K on a new stereo system, 35K on a new car for himself, but when ring shopping says she can't spend more than 3K and/or complains incessantly about having to buy something that is essentially "worthless". Don't be that guy.   And as far as wanting an expensive ring indicating a deeper problem with spending, it may or may not. It may just have to do with the size of rings her family/friends wear and wanting to be comparable, or in my case something who is very much into gemstones and has a specific idea of what they want. I would base how they are money-wise overall with how they approach things. If she wants an expensive ring AND an expensive wedding AND an expensive honeymoon, and is not willing to compromise despite talking about budgets, that may be a problem.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Batastrophe on December 31, 2015, 04:23:32 PM
Had to reply to this one. Any Mustachian knows that diamonds are neither rare nor precious. Hopefully, we've all read Epstein's seminal article, "Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond." Nevertheless, I married the woman of my dreams nearly 3 years ago and she wanted a nice, antique ring.  Good for me that she wasn't into the big, overpriced bling of a factory made, factory cut Tiffany thing.  She found a five-figure antique ring made about 150 years ago by a highly sought after German jeweler.  While the stone is big and nearly flawless, it was shaped by hand using another diamond and the setting was also hand made and designed. It looks both subdued, beautiful and classic. 

As a test, I walked into an LA estate jeweler wearing my shabby jeans and an old T-shirt with a story that I had met hard times and we needed to sell the ring.  He hemmed and hawed while calling the owner and in my dire circumstances made me an offer - 20% more than what I'd bought it for 700 days ago.  Not because of the diamond per se, but because the piece itself was a legitimate work of art.  Lesson for me was it was fine to buy a fancy ring which I could afford, but by seeing the whole ring as an art piece.  I'd never recommend spending this type of money on a diamond, but if you are a savvy investor of art, you can, at least, not throw your money away while still giving your bride something beautiful.

In sharp contrast, my wedding band was all of $50 bought the day before our wedding in Scotland. Made from hand by a couple in an outer island of Skye who only make100 rings per year, it is the most amazing and treasured piece of jewelry I own. Obviously not because of price, but because it was the totem the most amazing woman in the the universe put on my finger when I said "I Do."

Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: JR on January 06, 2016, 10:52:54 AM
I spent $500 on my wife's engagement ring. She loved it and the only person that was snide about it was an older divorced broke woman she worked with at a retail store (my wife was still in college at the time) who said "well I can tell you he didn't spend much on that". My wife didn't get any other comments about it because she doesn't tend to associate with people who think like that.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: onlykelsey on January 06, 2016, 10:58:53 AM

Fair point. If I find someone and am close enough to be planning to propose, I would hope to know her views on money, and the spending (or lack of) of it.

Yeah, she'll probably let you know.  I actually didn't want an engagement ring at all, but was open to a VERY simple one.  I think it was really targeted towards the Christian high school promise ring crowd (it has no rocks at all, and is just an intertwined knot in two different metals), but that's fine by me.  I almost immediately stopped wearing it, so it all worked out.  DH made his wedding band (unfortunately I'm allergic to all the metals he knows how to work with, so I have a tiny $70 palladium band), which is sweet.

Even if you have different ideas about rings, I think being able to compromise on them is a good sign.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: onlykelsey on January 06, 2016, 11:01:51 AM
In sharp contrast, my wedding band was all of $50 bought the day before our wedding in Scotland. Made from hand by a couple in an outer island of Skye who only make100 rings per year, it is the most amazing and treasured piece of jewelry I own. Obviously not because of price, but because it was the totem the most amazing woman in the the universe put on my finger when I said "I Do."

I think that's the right approach.  I actually have two identical $70 dollar bands in different sizes because my fingers can't stay the same size for more than a few weeks for some reason.

That said, the woman in #8 isn't wrong about how rings affect her career.  Many of the women I work with and even women at clients I work for advise that I get a "right-hand ring" which is supposed to be a sort of counter to the expensive engagement on my left hand, but be purchased by me and be a sign of my tastes and independence.  Strange world. 
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: yuka on January 06, 2016, 11:12:47 AM
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?

I ended up spending about 1 months salary -- but that wasn't how we determined what we were going to spend.  My now wife knew that she wanted a 3 stone ring, and I knew I was willing to spend in the vicinity of $5k.  So we went to our local jewelry store and talked to the sale rep for a while to actually see how they looked on her hand and to learn about the quality.  This was well worth our time.  In our case, we ended up learning what kind of clarity is worth paying for and that a 3/4 carat center stone looked about right, but was near the higher end of our price range.

Then, we walked out of the store and bought a ring meeting those specifications on blue nile (ended up being about $6k).  I have no financial interest in Blue Nile, but you get a significant discount (30%+ in our case) vs your local jeweler.

I also ended up spending about 1 month's salary, or a little more. Honestly I spent hours in the store and, like an above poster, became good enough at identifying clarities and defects that I had to get something good for my own sanity. I judged what size to get by asking my mom what hers was, but I forgot to account for my fiancee's tiny hands. I spent the first two weeks of her having it trying to convince her (and silently, myself) that the stone wasn't too big. She came around eventually.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: hapstermeister on January 10, 2016, 06:28:24 PM
Hello, first time poster :)

I'm definitely more of a "I'd rather save for a downpayment on a house" type of gal, but my fiance did get a ring (no diamonds but it was in the shape of our spirit animal :D) for $50 (still too much IMO). We haven't decided on wedding details yet but we already made our first 'wedding' purchase: we got both wedding bands custom-made for $72...USD! We were lucky though, we were on vacation in Vietnam when the tour bus pulled into Hoi An where you can get clothes and jewelry custom-made in ~24 hours. It was an impromptu decision to get the rings there and we're really happy about it! (No backsies now!)
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: Merrie on January 20, 2016, 09:35:31 PM
I think he spent about $600 on mine. It has an amethyst with little diamonds on each side. I love it. But I haven't seen it since some time during my pregnancy with our son, and he's about to turn 2. I really think it's somewhere in the house but I've more or less given up hope of ever finding it. So I just wear my wedding band. Maybe when we pay off all our student loans I can get him to buy me an anniversary ring. :) (He'd do it now, but I want to pay off the loans first.) I'm not a big jewelry person, but I did like having something bright and pretty to put on my finger.

My ex proposed to me using a ring he'd financed, but we split up before he'd even paid it off, and he was mad they wouldn't let him return it. I LOLed.

Now regarding the lawyer who wanted the super fancy ring... talk about keeping up with the Joneses. Sadly, her reasoning is probably correct. In certain lines of work, if you don't look the part, it is going to affect how others see you and it might impact your career.
Title: Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
Post by: kaetana on January 21, 2016, 10:03:01 PM
Okay, we're definitely on the pricy side here. We spent about $4000 on my engagement ring, $700 on my wedding ring, and $600 on his wedding ring.

However, I LOVE my rings. My engagement ring has a yellow sapphire with two smaller diamonds on either side, and it shines like the sun. My wedding band has tiny diamonds (I think) around it. I had actually insisted on a $300 ring, but when we went out looking for rings together, I fell in love with my yellow ring. I have paperwork somewhere that says how many carats it is, the clarity, etc., but I don't care. I didn't even listen when the salesperson told me how big it was, to her surprise. All I cared about was that it was gorgeous and made me smile. Even after seeing it, I told my husband I wanted another, cheaper ring. But he bought me this one anyway. I know people say you're supposed to wear your engagement ring only on special occasions, but I love it so much that I wear both my rings every single day. I would hate to spend any amount of money on something I didn't wear regularly! I love my quirky ring.

In contrast, our "wedding" had the requisite two guests as witnesses, we called our next scheduled vacation our honeymoon, and we celebrated by buying a house together. People have different priorities.

Oh, and I don't think I would EVER want my husband to buy something that expensive for me without having me along to choose exactly what I want. Maybe there's less of a surprise in that or whatever, but at least I got a ring I adore and wear instead of an overpriced formality in aesthetically arranged carbon atoms.