Author Topic: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.  (Read 24336 times)

MgoSam

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #50 on: October 17, 2015, 06:23:42 PM »
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?
I wouldn't feel ready to marry someone if I didn't understand their relationship with money first. Especially as my life plan revolves around getting together seven figures of cash that I intend to not spend.

Or in other words: hopefully you'll know what to do when the time comes.

Fair point. If I find someone and am close enough to be planning to propose, I would hope to know her views on money, and the spending (or lack of) of it.

midweststache

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #51 on: October 17, 2015, 07:08:55 PM »
#8 - Jesus...

We spent a total of $310 on our wedding bands.

$300 on having my great-grandmother's ring (a band with inlaid diamonds) sized and cleaned. We also thickened up the gold band, which was thinning from decades of wear. It's beautiful, practical, and meaningful. He knew I had it waiting for me when we got married, and that I didn't expect any other jewelry. (To be fair, he didn't really propose; we had a conversation one night where the 'eventual' turned to the 'next year,' and that was that.)

$10 on his titanium band off Amazon, which is exactly what he wanted. (We're going on six months and his finger isn't green yet!)

Sailor Sam

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #52 on: October 18, 2015, 12:30:08 AM »
My wife's engagement ring cost around 3k. A super pretty sapphire in a palladium band. She doesn't wear a wedding band so that bit was free. She doesn't wear her ring often, so it makes me feel like mighty mouse when she puts it on.

I burned through 3 rings before settling on something I liked wearing. A $50 wal-mart ring that was cool but really uncomfortable. Second was a ~$120-ish silver band that made my finger break out in a weird rash. And the winner, a titanium band with ilodite chips. I have no idea how much it cost. When I require love, I put my ring on my wife's finger, and she re-proposes to me. She is amazing, and that is why she is my primary wife.

Taran Wanderer

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #53 on: October 18, 2015, 02:47:28 AM »
Primary wife?

clarkfan1979

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #54 on: October 18, 2015, 10:40:23 AM »
650 for wife and 100 for me

meg_shannon

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #55 on: October 18, 2015, 11:15:16 AM »
I think engagement rings can be beautiful, but I don't like them - for me. I ordered my husband and I titanium rings from TitanumKnights on Etsy. I had seen his rings in jewelry stores and was very pleased to have basically bought them wholesale. We paid 65$ for two rings with engraving.

My husband wanted to upgrade our rings when we had more money. Now we have the funds, but like our original rings. In fact, he was given a diamond, but I know I won't wear it.

Sailor Sam

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #56 on: October 18, 2015, 11:26:12 AM »
Primary wife?

Without hierarchy, chaos. 

Shinplaster

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #57 on: October 19, 2015, 03:46:53 PM »
I didn't want an engagement ring, but Mr. SP wanted me to have one.  I do not wear flashy jewellery at any time, so he bought a diamond separately while in Amsterdam, and had it set in a very simple setting.  Cost altogether was $1000, which was about 2 weeks pay back in 1979.  Our wedding bands were $100 each.  His fingers have swelled (according to him, it has nothing to do with the 40 pounds he's put on since the wedding), so he's now just wearing a $10 stainless steel one.  When they get banged up, or he forgets them while travelling, no big deal.  We just choose another one.   We've been married for 36 years, and neither one of us really cares about these things anymore.

SwordGuy

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #58 on: October 19, 2015, 04:38:14 PM »
$0 on engagement rings.

$0 on wedding rings.  We were so poor our friends gave us rings to give to one another.

dividend

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #59 on: October 20, 2015, 01:01:42 AM »
My wife's engagement ring cost around 3k. A super pretty sapphire in a palladium band. She doesn't wear a wedding band so that bit was free. She doesn't wear her ring often, so it makes me feel like mighty mouse when she puts it on.

I burned through 3 rings before settling on something I liked wearing. A $50 wal-mart ring that was cool but really uncomfortable. Second was a ~$120-ish silver band that made my finger break out in a weird rash. And the winner, a titanium band with ilodite chips. I have no idea how much it cost. When I require love, I put my ring on my wife's finger, and she re-proposes to me. She is amazing, and that is why she is my primary wife.

That is adorable and I can picture my husband saying these exact things.  I hope your wife feels warm and fuzzy about you.

LifeAtTheLodgeHouse

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #60 on: October 20, 2015, 02:46:52 AM »
I fricken love Melody No.10

I don't know how much my ring cost. 1.25 diamond. Simple, classic and timeless, I love it.

I especially love it as I change my mind All. The. Time. So much that I get whiplash :) so a classic timeless ring NOT picked by me works for my crazy little head :)

It's like he knew me...

Now I'm a mustachian (I wasn't always) and I have realised that I have so much awesome vintage jewellery from my mum and grandma I will never buy jewellery again.

Hunny156

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #61 on: October 23, 2015, 02:43:04 PM »
We were fresh out of college and he had a ton of student loans.  I wanted a 1 carat round with baguettes, but shopping around we quickly realized in would cost $6K plus.  He considered a loan.  No way was I going to do that to him, and I didn't like the idea of wearing that much money around my finger!

I researched simulants, and purchased a 1 ct round Van Graff for $133.  He picked out the perfect setting for $350 from an outlet store.  He brought both pieces to his local jeweler to put it together.  The jeweler begrudgingly did it, after making some comment about how the girl would know its a fake.  No one knows it's a fake, and I am proud to wear it, roughly 18 years later.

My friends at the time made the mistake of trying to compare rings.  Yes, theirs were bigger, but next to mine, theirs look brown.  They quickly learned not to compare again, and I enjoyed watching that momentary look of horror on their faces when the comparison didn't work in their favor.

Edited the price of the stone - I thought I spent $200, but looking at the receipt, it was $133.  :)
« Last Edit: October 23, 2015, 03:08:55 PM by Hunny156 »

Skalm

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #62 on: November 12, 2015, 04:40:37 AM »
We got ours from Amazon. Mine was $16 for a titanium, hers is synthetic sapphire and I think silver band or something for $36. Her gem is starting to wiggle out and I think it'll cost more to fix than to replace so I might spend a few hundred on a nicer ring for her.

Eric222

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #63 on: November 12, 2015, 05:47:35 AM »
I spend 5k on my exes engagement ring while I was in graduate school.   She loved it, which was good I suppose.  But what a waste of money.  I was stupid when I was younger.

Travis

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #64 on: November 12, 2015, 07:12:11 AM »
I think her engagement ring and both of our wedding rings came out around $600. Maybe a touch more.  My wife has often been lacking in popular culture references (somewhat sheltered upbringing) and never heard of the two-month salary guideline until I told her.  Being the awesome and frugal woman she is she told me she'd turn me down on principle if I spent that much on a ring.  Nearly all of her jewelry is fake except for her rings and a pearl necklace.  Since she tends to think practically about most matters she strongly hinted that a giant sharp stone protruding from her finger might actually be dangerous, so I found her one with several tiny stones that were embedded in the ring itself.  On a shopping trip shortly after our wedding we walked by a jewelry store at the mall and I showed her examples of the giant rings that are for sale.  After seeing the price tag on them she offered that at that price I might as well just buy her a car instead.  It would have a hell of a lot more utility.


http://www.cracked.com/video_19282_if-jewelry-stores-were-honest.html

DCKatie09

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #65 on: November 12, 2015, 08:13:48 AM »
My engagement ring, which we designed using stones from two rings I inherited from my grandmothers, was about $800, and our wedding bands were around a grand for both together. Probably a little steep, but my rings are gorgeous, unique, and I love them. Also, we were 29 and could really easily afford it.

dude

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #66 on: November 12, 2015, 08:28:06 AM »
Ah, this topic hurts me.  After a 16-year courtship, when I could no longer string it out any further, I had to succumb to marriage (or risk losing the woman I loved).  She tolerated the excuses for years from me about not having any money/paying student loans/establishing my career, etc., and so when it came time to buying that ring, she insisted I go big.  And go big I did -- 2c, high-quality cut - for  . . . oh, it pains me to divulge this . . . $15,000.  Yep.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  But she kinda lost her mind when the whole ring thing came around -- and in the wedding planning phase, but that's another story.  Fortunately for me, things have turned out fine, she's come around in a lot of ways  (not totally, but hey, nobody's perfect), and my FIRE plans remain just as they always have.

GFPchicken

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #67 on: November 12, 2015, 09:08:34 AM »
I didn't get an engagement ring -- DH knew I couldn't care less. Our wedding rings cost about $200 for the set, including rush order fees (we planned on not having wedding rings either, but less than two weeks before the wedding we realized our priest thought they were required) They are titanium rings with a a decorative rose gold rivet. I'm glad we ended up getting the rings after all, I like looking "married" in public and I like looking at it and thinking about my awesome DH when he's at work. His didn't end up fitting (too big) and titanium is not resizable, which is just as well since he really doesn't wear rings.

pompera_firpa

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #68 on: November 12, 2015, 09:27:27 AM »
My wife's engagement ring cost around 3k. A super pretty sapphire in a palladium band. She doesn't wear a wedding band so that bit was free. She doesn't wear her ring often, so it makes me feel like mighty mouse when she puts it on.

I burned through 3 rings before settling on something I liked wearing. A $50 wal-mart ring that was cool but really uncomfortable. Second was a ~$120-ish silver band that made my finger break out in a weird rash. And the winner, a titanium band with ilodite chips. I have no idea how much it cost. When I require love, I put my ring on my wife's finger, and she re-proposes to me. She is amazing, and that is why she is my primary wife.

This sounded so much like something my husband would say. A++++

runningthroughFIRE

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #69 on: November 12, 2015, 10:35:38 AM »
Everyone here's ridiculous.  This is clearly the mustachian option, followed by a bike ride to rid yourselves of the excessive calories! Only $1.58 for 24 of these babies, so it rounds out to less than $0.07 a pop!

The standard set by my parents was sitting on a couch and going "I think I want to spend the rest of my life with you" *Dad looks over* "Awesome, me too!"  Then after finding rings they like onlinein a catalogue(no idea of costs, but nothing fancy): "Hey, your ring came in the mail today.  Will you marry me?"  Those gooey saps have been married about 30 years.

Someday if I get married, I'd like to think I would go for something simple.  I'm a fan of saphires over diamonds if an engagement ring is done at all, and either plain gold or something unique like damascus steel for the wedding rings.  I'm not looking to get married anytime soon, so most things will be up in the air if/when I get to that point in my life.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2015, 12:03:03 PM by runningthroughFIRE »

gReed Smith

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #70 on: November 12, 2015, 11:24:57 AM »
I'm confused by your story, runningthroughFIRE.  I think you said your parents ordered rings online 30 years ago...

I paid $635 for my wife's ring while I was in law school.  That was the most I could responsibly spend.  I don't feel like making an irresponsible spending decision or going into debt is a good way to tell a woman that you love her.  Instead I tried to make a reasonable choice so that she had something nice and we could afford to buy a house and have a family at some point.

Ashyukun

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #71 on: November 12, 2015, 11:48:59 AM »
SWMBO's ring was on the pricey side (especially for here). The original plan had been to spend a good bit less, but it didn't quite work out that way...

The summer before we got engaged (after she and I had been living together for about half a year) my Mom came to visit and when just my Mom and I were out to lunch the conversation turned to my relationship and specifically where I thought it was going. I answered honestly and said that I would likely already have proposed if not for the fact that finances were tight with my house having not sold yet but that we would get there eventually.

The following weekend my Mom was out near where my Grandmother (her Mom) lived before she moved closer to my parents, and of course they were talking about the grandkids and my Mom told my Grandmother what I'd said about the ring. As my Mom tells it, without saying a word, my Grandmother stood up and shuffled back into her bedroom and then back out a few minutes later and handed my Mom a box. In it was my Grandmother's engagement ring- my Grandfather had passed on after a long decline earlier in the year and she had not worn the ring for some time. She told my Mom that she wanted her to send the ring to me, either to use as it was for an engagement ring or more likely to have the stones re-set for a new ring for my then-soon-to-be-fiancée-now-wife. My Mom was floored, as was I when I got the very unexpected call about it. Before shipping it to me my Mom had it appraised to know how much to insure the shipment for and was shocked at what it appraised for- it had one rather large center stone, to side settings about 2/3 the size of the main one, and quite a number of very small settings along the band.

Then-girlfriend and I had gone out and looked at rings a few times so I could get an idea of what she liked style-wise and figure out what size the ring needed to be, but it had been left to me to make the final choice so it would be a surprise. So when I got the ring, I went in with it to the store that I'd liked the best and sat down with one of their designers to work out a design in the style that SWMBO liked that used the stones from my Grandmother's ring. Ultimately both the engagement and wedding band used stones from my Grandmother's ring (since there were so many really small ones), and both were custom-designed to nest together. Ironically in the end the rings probably cost more than I'd have spent had I just picked an existing one out, but the look of disbelief on her face when I gave her the ring was fantastic as was how blown away she was when I explained the history of it.

The amusing thing to me relative to this particular article- she to this day doesn't know what I spent on the rings in the end, but she does know what they're technically worth since they engagement ring is worth enough for it to be on the wise side to have additional insurance on it and to do that she had to take it in to be appraised (it appraised for over 3x what I paid for having it made).

Probably one of the most anti-mustachian things I've ever done- but I've never really regretted it either since she absolutely loves it and its story, and I hope someday her ring will get given to one of our (eventual) grandchildren in a similar manner.

runningthroughFIRE

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #72 on: November 12, 2015, 12:01:47 PM »
I'm confused by your story, runningthroughFIRE.  I think you said your parents ordered rings online 30 years ago...

I paid $635 for my wife's ring while I was in law school.  That was the most I could responsibly spend.  I don't feel like making an irresponsible spending decision or going into debt is a good way to tell a woman that you love her.  Instead I tried to make a reasonable choice so that she had something nice and we could afford to buy a house and have a family at some point.
They came in the mail via catalogue.  Everything I ever order is from online, so I had a mental slip. I'll edit the statement lol

JordanOfGilead

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #73 on: November 13, 2015, 08:09:29 AM »
I proposed to my wife with the ring from a grenade pin (it's a long story). Afterwards, I let her pick out the ring she wanted, which ended up being about $800. Our wedding bands are both tungsten carbide and totaled about $350.
Our wedding cost less than her engagement ring.

I understand that jewelry is insanely expensive and it's nice to have nice things, but I will never get spending more than $1000 on an engagement ring and expensive weddings just blow my mind.

gardeningandgreen

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #74 on: November 16, 2015, 01:41:52 PM »
I know that my ring was around $600. Its this amazing cool ring that he got of etsy and was made just for me. It has cool leaves holding a light blue stone. No idea what the stone is(I could look it up but I don't really care) but diamonds aren't needed. I have had more compliments on it than anything else! So many people have told me that it is perfect for me and it really is. The FH and I picked it out together so he knew I would love it. I would have loved anything he got me though!

StockBeard

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #75 on: November 16, 2015, 05:02:52 PM »
  If someone cares about the size of your ring rather than
Insert penis joke about size here

onehair

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #76 on: November 17, 2015, 10:07:47 AM »
I confess I never got an engagement ring with either of my two marriages.  I got a wedding band only.  I am not sure if I missed out on anything or not. 

Britan

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #77 on: November 20, 2015, 07:14:49 AM »
I'm always baffled by how much weddin rings can cost.

Mine was custom made by a local jeweler. Really awesome guy, family-run business since forever ago. He laid out the itemized cost of everything and showed us every stone option. It came out to $580 if I remember. $100 for the custom design, plus the cost of a small sapphire and 2 little diamonds in white gold. At the end of the day he even gave me a little silver necklace to keep it on while I work out for FREE!

If I had to do it again, I'd take my moms offer of her ring but see if the jeweler could alter it. Gold is really where we were hit on price.

My ring is fairly simple so I don't think I'm going to have a separate wedding band.

Making Cookies

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #78 on: November 24, 2015, 10:05:39 AM »
We were really poor when my wife and I married. I can't remember what I spent on her ring but the stone I had put into it was a stone that had been in my great-grandfather's Mason or Elks' ring (can't remember which organization). It looked nice and she was thrilled. For myself we bought a simple gold(ish) band.

Neither of us wear any rings today.

Neither of us were (are) very well versed in what you are supposed to do aka wedding traditions and etiquette. ;)

We just celebrated our 18th anniversary over the weekend. We took our kids to the mtns for our anniversary. We're such romantics - aren't we?

Am very lucky to have found a girl (woman) with similar ideas about all the important things in life - family, finances, education, hard work, etc.

flan

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #79 on: November 24, 2015, 10:30:40 AM »
Studies in the past have shown that expensive weddings are correlated with higher divorce rates. I wouldn't be surprised at all if expensive wedding rings are also correlated with divorce...

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/spending-less-wedding-save-marriage/

Ruh roh. We definitely spent too much on our engagement ring (about a month's gross salary) as well as our wedding (let's not go there)... this was before we read MMM. We tried making up for it by getting wedding bands that were only a few hundred dollars, combined (I know, that's still not cheap, but it is multitudes cheaper than what we spent on engagement ring + wedding).

Now I joke with hubs that, if I ever lose the engagement ring, I'd be happy to take the insurance payout and not even replace it (we paid the whole year's premium before we were MMM as well - if I lose it next year we're SOL b/c we're not renewing that unnecessary insurance!)

Valetta

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #80 on: November 24, 2015, 04:25:27 PM »
I'm embarrassed because my jewelry in general is really far from mustachian but I do love my rings so I'll post.

My wedding/engagement ring (it's just one ring) was custom made for me. Center stone is a round deep blue aquamarine (rare color). The band is platinum with 132 small diamonds in it. It cost $6,000. I know this because it's insured so we had it appraised.

Husband's ring is a custom platinum band - I think it was around $1,500.

About a year after getting married, his mother gave me a bunch of stones for a right hand ring - 20 different diamonds from various family rings (my MIL was the sole survivor in a large family, it's a long story but it meant that all family jewelry passed to her). In addition to the diamonds, she gave me a large marquis cut aquamarine purchased by my husband's great, great grandfather in Germany. The same designer set them into a complimentary setting for me for about $2,000 (platinum and some additional diamonds). The finished ring appraises at $6,000.

I wear both rings every day.

I know this is a lot of money but I do love my jewelry, people comment on the uniqueness of it all the time and no debt was incurred for it. I picked aquamarine because we both have March birthdays and we met in the month of March.

Oddly enough I had a super cheap wedding, I just really like jewelry.

Making Cookies

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #81 on: November 24, 2015, 04:59:25 PM »
Do you ever worry about losing a stone b/c of a loose setting?

pbkmaine

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #82 on: November 24, 2015, 05:24:08 PM »
I did worry about losing stones until I got them bezel set.


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Valetta

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #83 on: November 24, 2015, 08:42:01 PM »
Do you ever worry about losing a stone b/c of a loose setting?

I don't. I clean my jewelry pretty well once a month and check for loose stones when I do that. The jeweler that did my stuff is really convenient for me so it would be really easy for me to pop in there and have an issue fixed if I needed it. I'm also careful to take my rings off for any kind of manual labor, swimming, sometimes cooking, etc. I just don't lose things so I don't really worry about losing them either.

bostonjim

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #84 on: November 25, 2015, 08:35:35 AM »
Gave my wife an old family ring that came from my Aunt.  Something like 2c with an old-fashioned (20s vintage) platinum setting. I offered to have it reset, but she wouldn't hear of it.  I had it appraised for insurance purposes and it came back as $20,000.  Best $20,000 I never spent...

monstermonster

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #85 on: November 25, 2015, 02:25:54 PM »
I had a 6th grade math teacher who thought I was a hilarious odd duck (it's a different story, but let's just say I stuck out like a sore thumb) and he would go on rants about diamonds just being rocks, but you'll never find a woman who would rather had a shiny rock.

At the time I was really into geods, and I boldly proclaimed that I would only marry someone who was willing to get me a nice rock instead of a ring. To this day, I'm sure he's long forgotten that, but any suitors in my future are expected fully to get me a nice geod instead of a ring. (I can't wear rings anyway because of my arthritic fingers.)

Bearsdidit

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #86 on: November 25, 2015, 04:13:03 PM »
I spent a little over a month's salary.  She loves it and I got a lot of credit card points for it. Win/win??

partgypsy

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #87 on: November 26, 2015, 07:30:52 AM »
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?

I can't remember if anyone answered your post, but I will venture a try. Women are really variable as far as being into jewelry and also expectations of what they want for an engagement ring (or even if they want one), as you can see on this thread, some women don't even have engagement rings and some have rings but don't know what stone is in the ring. I personally like sentimental connections, and so if she doesn't have any strong preference it is nice to repurpose a stone that is already in the family, and put it in a setting in a style the women likes.

If the woman does have strong preference, please involve her in the ring buying process (she will be the one wearing it). You can always let her know what your budget is. Could be half a month, a month, 3 months, it really depends financially where you are, savings and your priorities, not so much a percentage of salary. I do frequent a jewelry forum, and the main time a woman is upset at how much the man is spending or willing to spend, is when it sends the message the relationship is not high priority to him. That's when the man has a good or even high income, drops 700 on a new tv, 3K on a new stereo system, 35K on a new car for himself, but when ring shopping says she can't spend more than 3K and/or complains incessantly about having to buy something that is essentially "worthless". Don't be that guy.   And as far as wanting an expensive ring indicating a deeper problem with spending, it may or may not. It may just have to do with the size of rings her family/friends wear and wanting to be comparable, or in my case something who is very much into gemstones and has a specific idea of what they want. I would base how they are money-wise overall with how they approach things. If she wants an expensive ring AND an expensive wedding AND an expensive honeymoon, and is not willing to compromise despite talking about budgets, that may be a problem.
« Last Edit: November 26, 2015, 07:37:21 AM by partgypsy »

Batastrophe

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #88 on: December 31, 2015, 04:23:32 PM »
Had to reply to this one. Any Mustachian knows that diamonds are neither rare nor precious. Hopefully, we've all read Epstein's seminal article, "Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond." Nevertheless, I married the woman of my dreams nearly 3 years ago and she wanted a nice, antique ring.  Good for me that she wasn't into the big, overpriced bling of a factory made, factory cut Tiffany thing.  She found a five-figure antique ring made about 150 years ago by a highly sought after German jeweler.  While the stone is big and nearly flawless, it was shaped by hand using another diamond and the setting was also hand made and designed. It looks both subdued, beautiful and classic. 

As a test, I walked into an LA estate jeweler wearing my shabby jeans and an old T-shirt with a story that I had met hard times and we needed to sell the ring.  He hemmed and hawed while calling the owner and in my dire circumstances made me an offer - 20% more than what I'd bought it for 700 days ago.  Not because of the diamond per se, but because the piece itself was a legitimate work of art.  Lesson for me was it was fine to buy a fancy ring which I could afford, but by seeing the whole ring as an art piece.  I'd never recommend spending this type of money on a diamond, but if you are a savvy investor of art, you can, at least, not throw your money away while still giving your bride something beautiful.

In sharp contrast, my wedding band was all of $50 bought the day before our wedding in Scotland. Made from hand by a couple in an outer island of Skye who only make100 rings per year, it is the most amazing and treasured piece of jewelry I own. Obviously not because of price, but because it was the totem the most amazing woman in the the universe put on my finger when I said "I Do."


JR

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #89 on: January 06, 2016, 10:52:54 AM »
I spent $500 on my wife's engagement ring. She loved it and the only person that was snide about it was an older divorced broke woman she worked with at a retail store (my wife was still in college at the time) who said "well I can tell you he didn't spend much on that". My wife didn't get any other comments about it because she doesn't tend to associate with people who think like that.

onlykelsey

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #90 on: January 06, 2016, 10:58:53 AM »

Fair point. If I find someone and am close enough to be planning to propose, I would hope to know her views on money, and the spending (or lack of) of it.

Yeah, she'll probably let you know.  I actually didn't want an engagement ring at all, but was open to a VERY simple one.  I think it was really targeted towards the Christian high school promise ring crowd (it has no rocks at all, and is just an intertwined knot in two different metals), but that's fine by me.  I almost immediately stopped wearing it, so it all worked out.  DH made his wedding band (unfortunately I'm allergic to all the metals he knows how to work with, so I have a tiny $70 palladium band), which is sweet.

Even if you have different ideas about rings, I think being able to compromise on them is a good sign.

onlykelsey

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #91 on: January 06, 2016, 11:01:51 AM »
In sharp contrast, my wedding band was all of $50 bought the day before our wedding in Scotland. Made from hand by a couple in an outer island of Skye who only make100 rings per year, it is the most amazing and treasured piece of jewelry I own. Obviously not because of price, but because it was the totem the most amazing woman in the the universe put on my finger when I said "I Do."

I think that's the right approach.  I actually have two identical $70 dollar bands in different sizes because my fingers can't stay the same size for more than a few weeks for some reason.

That said, the woman in #8 isn't wrong about how rings affect her career.  Many of the women I work with and even women at clients I work for advise that I get a "right-hand ring" which is supposed to be a sort of counter to the expensive engagement on my left hand, but be purchased by me and be a sign of my tastes and independence.  Strange world. 

yuka

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #92 on: January 06, 2016, 11:12:47 AM »
Question, as a single guy, I know very little about engagement rings, nor their significance. My understanding is that it's all bull, and the concept of 2 months salary is pure Madison Ave nonsense.

I'm wondering that should I find myself in a deep relationship where I am ready to pop the question, should I base buying a ring on my monthly salary, or what? I suppose it will depend on my future spouse's views, but couldn't this be a test for what type of spender she is? Like if she wants a massive ring, would that not bode well for the future because it may be indicative that she would prefer to have a McMansion and expensive cars and want to go on expensive vacations while wearing expensive clothes?

I ended up spending about 1 months salary -- but that wasn't how we determined what we were going to spend.  My now wife knew that she wanted a 3 stone ring, and I knew I was willing to spend in the vicinity of $5k.  So we went to our local jewelry store and talked to the sale rep for a while to actually see how they looked on her hand and to learn about the quality.  This was well worth our time.  In our case, we ended up learning what kind of clarity is worth paying for and that a 3/4 carat center stone looked about right, but was near the higher end of our price range.

Then, we walked out of the store and bought a ring meeting those specifications on blue nile (ended up being about $6k).  I have no financial interest in Blue Nile, but you get a significant discount (30%+ in our case) vs your local jeweler.

I also ended up spending about 1 month's salary, or a little more. Honestly I spent hours in the store and, like an above poster, became good enough at identifying clarities and defects that I had to get something good for my own sanity. I judged what size to get by asking my mom what hers was, but I forgot to account for my fiancee's tiny hands. I spent the first two weeks of her having it trying to convince her (and silently, myself) that the stone wasn't too big. She came around eventually.

hapstermeister

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #93 on: January 10, 2016, 06:28:24 PM »
Hello, first time poster :)

I'm definitely more of a "I'd rather save for a downpayment on a house" type of gal, but my fiance did get a ring (no diamonds but it was in the shape of our spirit animal :D) for $50 (still too much IMO). We haven't decided on wedding details yet but we already made our first 'wedding' purchase: we got both wedding bands custom-made for $72...USD! We were lucky though, we were on vacation in Vietnam when the tour bus pulled into Hoi An where you can get clothes and jewelry custom-made in ~24 hours. It was an impromptu decision to get the rings there and we're really happy about it! (No backsies now!)

Merrie

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #94 on: January 20, 2016, 09:35:31 PM »
I think he spent about $600 on mine. It has an amethyst with little diamonds on each side. I love it. But I haven't seen it since some time during my pregnancy with our son, and he's about to turn 2. I really think it's somewhere in the house but I've more or less given up hope of ever finding it. So I just wear my wedding band. Maybe when we pay off all our student loans I can get him to buy me an anniversary ring. :) (He'd do it now, but I want to pay off the loans first.) I'm not a big jewelry person, but I did like having something bright and pretty to put on my finger.

My ex proposed to me using a ring he'd financed, but we split up before he'd even paid it off, and he was mad they wouldn't let him return it. I LOLed.

Now regarding the lawyer who wanted the super fancy ring... talk about keeping up with the Joneses. Sadly, her reasoning is probably correct. In certain lines of work, if you don't look the part, it is going to affect how others see you and it might impact your career.

kaetana

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Re: How much did you spend on your engagement ring??? Article.
« Reply #95 on: January 21, 2016, 10:03:01 PM »
Okay, we're definitely on the pricy side here. We spent about $4000 on my engagement ring, $700 on my wedding ring, and $600 on his wedding ring.

However, I LOVE my rings. My engagement ring has a yellow sapphire with two smaller diamonds on either side, and it shines like the sun. My wedding band has tiny diamonds (I think) around it. I had actually insisted on a $300 ring, but when we went out looking for rings together, I fell in love with my yellow ring. I have paperwork somewhere that says how many carats it is, the clarity, etc., but I don't care. I didn't even listen when the salesperson told me how big it was, to her surprise. All I cared about was that it was gorgeous and made me smile. Even after seeing it, I told my husband I wanted another, cheaper ring. But he bought me this one anyway. I know people say you're supposed to wear your engagement ring only on special occasions, but I love it so much that I wear both my rings every single day. I would hate to spend any amount of money on something I didn't wear regularly! I love my quirky ring.

In contrast, our "wedding" had the requisite two guests as witnesses, we called our next scheduled vacation our honeymoon, and we celebrated by buying a house together. People have different priorities.

Oh, and I don't think I would EVER want my husband to buy something that expensive for me without having me along to choose exactly what I want. Maybe there's less of a surprise in that or whatever, but at least I got a ring I adore and wear instead of an overpriced formality in aesthetically arranged carbon atoms.